What are you here for? - #13

In this episode, I explore Life Purpose - what are you here to be?  It's a big question I have pondered on forever and It's finally landed .... 

As always, I would love to hear what this sparks in you and if you'd like to delve deeper into who you came here to be ... come and drop me an email on info@kerryosullivan.co.uk

You can get a copy of my book here

Big Love xx

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello, my loves, and welcome to this episode of Raw and Unedited, and it's another one recording from my phone. I've just got back from the most magical day with my shamanic family, and I'm sitting here in my the front room of my rental, and the family have gone camping, and I'm here on my own, and it's luscious, beautiful. The last time I did an episode, I was on my own as well, and you know, there's something that happens for me, especially when I'm on my own. It's like when I'm in the kind of rushing around, being a mum, being a partner, getting jobs done, living day-to-day life. Sometimes I just don't have the capacity or the space to really drop into what I really want to share. And as I came here today, as I as I kind of thought I'm gonna press record and do another another episode, I was like, there is so many things I want to share, so I felt like I'm just gonna feel into what is really alive that I feel in the field, and something that came up actually in a healing that I gave today in this workshop I did. Um, was this thing around life purpose. So, what are you here for? What are you here for? And for me, I spent a long, long time of my life asking the question, what am I here for? Because I had this real sense that I wasn't actually doing what I was meant to do, I wasn't reaching or fulfilling this part of me that wanted to be met with like I knew that I had a gift, like I've known for a very, very long time that I am gifted in in many many things. Like, I think I've spoken about this before on other podcasts. Where, like, how do I put myself into a box? How do I put myself into a label that says I am a yeah? So these are there are many, many, many names that I've given myself over the years: tantric goddess, tantric priestess, womb priestess, um, tantric embodiment coach, shamanic witch, embodiment facilitator, energy healer, energy worker, la la la la la, spiritual medium, psychic. I mean, there's so many, there's so many names, soul rescuer, so many names that I've called myself when I've been to these like networking things, and they say, So, in one minute, can you tell the room what you do? And I used to remember I remember so many times sitting there thinking, what do you want me to be today? Like, you know, like every day I feel like I'm I have a different role, a different, a different place to be in the world. You know, some days I'm fully in mum mode, some days I'm fully in like being a partner and fully in my like lovership and beautifulness that I have with Mark, and then other days I'm like really inward in my own little bubble, and some days I'm really client-facing and working all the magic that I do with my clients, and it's like I don't have a freaking label. Um, and I've really struggled with this, like the amount of um plant medicine ceremonies I've done, and I've gone in and spoke to Mother Ayahuasca and said, please tell me what I'm here for. Like, honestly, I've asked that question so many times in the ceremony, to the point where I literally just got like raised eyebrows, like, here we go again. She's asking me again, what are you here for? And quite often when I drink um medicine, whether it be you know, whatever type of medicine it might be, psychedelic or or even cacao, like many, many medicines that I work with, and I ask this, I've asked this question so many times, like, who am I? What am I here for? And the answer, I get many, many answers that come back to me, but it's nothing that I don't know, yeah. And um, I like I'm dying to do a um podcast all about my medicine journeys because there again there's so many profound things that have happened in my life that I I wouldn't even know where to begin when it comes to trying to describe um you know what has happened to me in in medicine journeys. So I yeah, this question of who am I and what am I here for has been a massive conundrum. So I'm wondering just me even saying this out loud, do you know who you are and what you are here for? And the way I the mean when I say what are you here for, that can be various different things that even if you don't work with people or work in the transformational field where you work with others um in a healing capacity or something like that, or like it can go so much deeper than what actually what the job is, it's all the purpose for me is literally about why I am here as a human being in this current life in this moment of time, because you know, oh my god, there's just so many strands to this for me. Like, as we start to embark into this place of embodying the new earth, and maybe you've never heard this terminology, it's quite a big um piece of work, and I suppose a conversation that's been happening a lot in my circles about this new way to be, you know, there's so much crazy shit happening in the world, so many things are crumbling because it's time for us to start embodying and stepping into a new way of being. So, and you might be feeling that in your in your system, you might be feeling that in your in your body, that maybe the person that you may have been in previous years or in previous chapters of your life no longer really fit you anymore. That the things that used to light you up and make you feel like this is everything that I've ever wanted maybe don't really light you up anymore. Maybe all of the things that you thought would make you happy having the money, having the job, having the husband, having the lifestyle, having the house, having all the things materialistic. Maybe you're realizing that oh, this doesn't bring me happiness, yeah. Um and maybe you're realising that the person that you was isn't the person who you are now, and you have changed, yeah. Like you're starting to do things now that you never would have dreamt that you would have done in the previous lives or previous chapters of your lives. Um and I truly believe that this is happening to a lot of people collectively, and I've I've kind of tapped into a little bit around human design, and I'll probably talk a little bit about more about that today. But I know because of the the kind of depth that I've gone to in my human design, I know exactly what I'm here for, and I also know that I'm here for a collective mission. So I'm here specifically to work with the collective, so like the energy of of many, of many, many people, and this is why I really get this sense, and I can really feel the field of like human existence and what is moving at the moment, and this piece around the embodiment of new earth and coming from a place of there's gonna be a huge shift basically, and it's we're kind of in the shift at the moment, but from 2027, we're starting to embody more of the feminine energy, so it's less about the doing and the task-led and the pushing and um getting stuff done, and more coming from a place of flow of like real receptivity, of going with the flow, of being more heart-led, and really coming from a place of what really lights me up from the inside out, yeah. And for me, that is what purpose is all about. That is what living on purpose is about you really tapping into the part of you that knows that you are here for more than your day-to-day existence, like there's a reason why you are on this planet at this moment in time, and so for me, all these times that I've gone in and asked about you know, who am I? What am I here for? All I've ever ever ever been told is lots of variations of you are here to give women a voice, you are here to connect couples in intimacy, you are here to be a medicine woman, you are here to facilitate change, you are here to be a beacon of light, you are here to demonstrate and embody love, you are here to be a voice for women in their power, you are here to show women the way, you are here to activate their sexual energy, to connect them into their truth, to hold their hand through the kind of the turmoil, the challenges to keep the light and show them that there is there is another way, there is a way through. And I'm like, yeah, but what am I here for? It's like once I was literally, I remember writing in my journal, like in a in a journey, like in literally capital letters, this is what you are here for. Stop asking me the question, stop asking me for some epiphany that's more than this, like this is it. Like, you are here to give women a voice, you are here to collect um beautiful souls, couples to their truth, so they can really embody who they are. There is nothing else you need to know about that, like this is it, and and it's not because my my work in the world isn't more in-depth than that, but ultimately it all comes back to that. I mean, when I got the download for my book title, you know, my I was I was U and R and I'd written I'd basically on in the process of writing my book, and I was like, What am I gonna call my book? What am I gonna call my book? How can I summarize what I'm gonna call my book? And then one day it just dropped in surrender to your truth, and ultimately that is what I'm here to do. I'm here to support people to come back to their truth, and sometimes the truth is that I am having a really shit time, or I am heavy, or I am going through this massive illness in my life that's disrupted my whole entire life, or I am struggling with my emotions right now, I want to be held, and and sometimes that is the truth, and sometimes it's quite hard for people to acknowledge the things that are that feel uncomfortable, and that's what I'm freaking amazing at, you know. And not only am I amazing at supporting people through the heaviness that life has to throw at them, but I'm also amazing at connecting them to the lightness as well, and and I do that in about a million different ways, you know. So if you're someone that has worked with me before, you'll know that there is no prescription of how I work. So when I work with people, I draw on all the different tools in my toolbox. I'm a breathwork facilitator, I'm a tantric massage um practitioner, I'm a shamanic practitioner, I have done human design, I have done lots of intimacy trainings, lots of sexuality trainings, I've done reflexology, Indian head massage, Reiki, I've done about a million different qualifications, I've done womb healing, I've done priestess training, I've just done yoni steaming and anointing and womb wrapping, and I'm continually learning. You know, today I've just done um I've just been involved in a retake of this Shikapa training, which is phenomenal thing, uh, training from the Amazon, um, talked by my amazing shaman, and you know, there I literally the list is endless on Hamley things I'm qualified in. So if you are someone who is there who has all the qualifications, and you are still asking yourself, I don't know what I'm meant to be doing. I'm still trying to find the qualification that's going to make everything make sense. And I'll tell you this from someone that's speaking from experience. Like, I just did a year-long, probably the most intensive training of my life with Gabor Mate, where I trained very intensely in trauma, you know, trauma training, childhood trauma, and I did that for the wrong reasons. Really, I did it because I felt like I had to have a qualification that said I was trauma informed, even though for the last nine years I've worked with trauma, and but I knew I had to do this training, so I did it, and it was the most intense experience of my life. It literally I was like in a washing machine for most of it, dragged up all my childhood trauma, worked through so many layers of myself, even though I've done like the last ten years of my life, which has been trauma. Like, I felt like I'd unpacked everything already before I even began this training, and um, and I got another qualification, and then at the end of it, I was still like, hmm, what am I here for? And I'll you know, I'm not gonna go into more of this about myself now, but I have literally had the most in the last couple of months, two to three months, where I've been off social media, I've not been engaging in short, sharp, let me get myself across in a one-minute reel about what I want to share with the world. I have gone so deep into my spiritual practice, into connecting to what I suppose I would call God consciousness. The levels of connection I now have with spirit has gone beyond words, actually. It's beyond words, and I've never ever been clearer on why I'm here, and that has come from a ritual, silence, listening, and something has landed. And I have you know, I've gone very in deep into my human design, and I'm finally after like seven, eight years of knowing my human design and unpacking that more, done him do it done my stification um last year or the year before, I can't remember, it feels like it was I think it was two years ago actually, and I'm finally like looking at it all going, oh my gosh, like I've known this forever, but it now makes sense, and that's the thing. You may have been like had all these little seeds dropped in front of you about why why you are here. You may have had these little inklings, these little like deep knowings, and for me, when um like I've always loved talking about sex, I've always loved talking about relationships, I've always loved talking about pussy power, sexual energy, expression of your emotions. Like I loved like with working festivals for the last seven years, I love that, and when I can talk about things that literally make my heart sing and make me want to jump up in the air and just like I just want to talk about it. I'm a projector, so if people invite me in to talk about what I love, I'm like it's like game on the light switched on, and I can talk about the the things that light me up till the cows come home, and this is what purpose is. You will know the thing that you could talk about endless. Like if someone gave you a stage today and said, get up on that stage and talk about the thing that you're why you're here and what your purpose is, I reckon that there will be something within your being that knows, that knows what you're here to communicate, what you are here to make a difference in. Um and if you don't, don't give yourself a hard time because it will come, and because I really believe that even though we could be incarnated many, many times, you are here in this particular body, in this particular life, for a reason, and that reason might be to be a mum, that reason might be to be an epic partner, that reason might be to be a doctor, a nurse, a qualified technician of something. It doesn't you know like the job isn't such the the big the the kind of thing really, it's not even about the job, it's about then what does that do? What are you adding to humanity? What are you doing to serve a purpose? And most importantly, within all of that, does it light you up? Does it make you know and feel, even if it's a tiny little percentage, does it give you that sense of like this is why I'm here, I'm making a difference. Me showing up and doing this job is making me feel good. It just it just does something to you. It's like yeah, and it isn't necessarily about the the thing that you're here that you're making money by, like you might have a day job that might not be about your purpose, but the things you do outside of your work are the reason why you're here, and I don't want to overcomplicate this. I just I suppose when I when I do these podcasts and when I record these things, I just want it to be like thought-provoking, really, planting the seed. And so what I'm gonna leave you with today is just this inquiry, this question of what am I here for? Like, if I died today, what would people say about me? What what would what would what would be my parting kind of essence that's left? What what difference have I made? What have I done the things that that I know I'm here for? And that might send you off in a bloody spiral, or it might make you just connect to something in you. And like I already explained, I've asked this question for about a million trillion years, and I really feel like for me it's coming into fruition only now after 10 years in the self development space of chasing, of wondering, of like dabbling with different things, thinking, is this it, is this it, is this it? And then all of a sudden it's like coming to me, and it's not even in its full um birthing yet, because. I'm just about to embark on the most phenomenal new chapter of my life, which I'll share about another time, and I know that that's going to be the beginning of the birthing of this new part of me that's that's on its way through the birth canal. But for the first time in my life, I'm finally, finally understanding my purpose here on this earth, and I have to tell you, it feels freaking amazing. So let me leave it there, my loves. Please, if this has sparked something in you, or don't know, maybe it's maybe you maybe it's ignited that knowing in you, or maybe you're just a bit like even more confused. Wherever you are is perfect, wherever you are is perfect, but I would love to know, so reach out to me. You can drop me a DM on Instagram, even though I'm not on there on there yet. I I can still get my messages. You can drop me an email, and please rate this podcast, share it with your friends, spread the word, and uh, I look forward to coming back in here soon with another delicious episode, and uh yeah, signing out raw and unedited. Big love.