Cereal Music Talks x ŽIVA

Finding clarity as a Solo Musician with Punko

ŽIVA (Lucija Ivsic) Season 2 Episode 4

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0:00 | 41:25

In this episode, I chat with Liv Jansz, the creative mind behind Punko, an electronic solo project from Melbourne that blends pop, ambient, and post-punk influences to create dreamy soundscapes. We discuss the transition from being in a band to going solo and how to find clarity in the process. A big part of that is managing decision fatigue - the challenge of handling every aspect of a project on your own. We also dive into the struggles of self-promotion on social media, promoting gigs, and dealing with the pressure of doing it all by yourself. It’s a conversation about the highs and lows of going solo and staying true to oneself when you’re in charge of everything.

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Intro

SPEAKER_01

It's beautiful. I don't even want to talk. Like, why are we having a podcast in this beautiful?

SPEAKER_00

No, I know. I think those are like ri and those are some of my favorite like hangs at the moment. It's like nonverbal hangs. I love. Not obviously we're not going to do that now.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, please. Please don't. Welcome to Serial Music Talks Podcast, the podcast where I dive deep into the honest conversations that shape the Melbourne music scene. I'm your host, Riva, aka Lucia, and each month I sit down with musicians, music producers, sound designers, and talk about the real challenges we face in the industry. Whether it's breaking into new markets, battling imposter syndrome, overcoming writers' blogs, or just navigating the awful world of social media. A new episode drops every last Tuesday of the month. And to stay connected, you can subscribe to my newsletter where you can access all the links, resources, and insights that are mentioned during the show. Just find the link somewhere, I don't know, below, above, on my website, and you'll never miss a video.

SPEAKER_00

I've been like feeling really drawn to like, yeah, spaces where it's comfortable to just sit. So this is where you've come to swim.

SPEAKER_01

It's Tuesday around 1 p.m. And what you're hearing in the background is not actually noise. Well, I guess it could be qualified as noise, but it's actually sound of Yada River. I've been brought to this beautiful place in Melbourne. Well, just outside Melbourne, uh by Panko, aka Liv. Panko is a solo electronic project based in Melbourne, run by Liv. And for them, Panko is an outlet for telling stories that reside in a body, using elements of ambient and post-punk to create a rich and hypnotic soundscape of sense and layered vocal harmonies. Um, I've been really lucky enough to get a moment with Liv, um, not just because there's so many things that we can talk about, including social media, decision fatigue, how it is it to be a solo artist, but also we have a show together at Grace Darling on the 23rd of May. As soon as I arrived here, my first thing was like, wow, it seems like you know what you need, or like you're really good at setting boundaries.

SPEAKER_00

Am I wrong in thinking that? Yeah, probably that thing of like getting into your 30s, maybe there's a lot of like learning the hard way. I do feel pretty boundaried at the moment, and I do feel really clear on like what my body needs. I have like a bunch of chronic health issues, which I feel like really informs that. I I spent so long like not listening to my body and the way I was living and the way I was engaging with music and gigging and just my output in general. Socialising as well, actually, like just pushing, like always pushing, and I was energized by all the things I was doing, so I don't think I was realizing like how much it was taking from me. And I guess like so many people over COVID realize that, like getting the chance to actually stop and like assess. But I think from the last few years of like shaping my life more around my physical health, has then like led to all these other beautiful ways of like with my spiritual and mental health as well, of just being like, yeah, it's okay to stop, it's okay to be slow, and um that used to bring up more anxiety for me to stop. I felt like I was gonna miss something, and yeah, now I'm realizing it's like, oh, it's actually the opposite. Like, if I really take the time to like tend to myself, then I'm showing up to everything else in life way better and with more energy, and I'm I'm way more present and I can do a better job of things. Yeah. It depends, it goes through phases, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah. You like literally mention, you know, every single thing that I have as an excuse to not go offline, you know. Oh, if I'm gonna, you know, if I go offline, if I switch off for a moment, oh I will miss this opportunity, but I so much want like I've been wanting this thing for so long, you know. I I can't let it go right now.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Is it also a thing that keeps you away from social media?

From Bands to Punko

SPEAKER_00

Like leaving? Oh I suck. I'm so I'm like deep in social media, it's so bad. I can't. Okay, well then you know it can't be perfect. It but it is hard in music because that's where like it is the main platform for us, and like I've so made so many beautiful connections through Instagram, like especially in COVID, I feel like we all really felt like we kind of like learned the art of like online relationships, which was new for me to be like you know, I was I left Melbourne in 2020 and I was in Newcastle and I didn't have like music community or many friends really, like was really isolated and um just like kind of learn how to like strike up a conversation with artists and musicians that I liked and just get chatting about stuff. So yeah, I I really want to get off Instagram because it's obvious reasons, it's like so like poisonous, yeah, toxic. Yeah, the FOMO is so real and there's genuinely good things come from it, so it's like I just wish we could find somewhere else.

SPEAKER_01

Like I miss MySpace music, yeah, so reading about your work um and like your career on the scene, your presence on the scene. Now you act as Panko. Before that you were actually in uh you know in bands. Sui Chen, yeah. Then during the oh yeah, and then your transition. So how did the transition from being in a band? Maybe let's start with that. So you were in a group, but then in 2020, if I'm not mistaken, you began playing as Punk and then eventually you recorded in 2021 and released 2022, right? Yeah, like that.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, how did you get into music? Well, I just like as as soon as I could talk, you know, one of those as soon as I could talk, I was just singing, and music was like really encouraged in the house. Like Michael Jackson VHS was like on the TV constantly, just film clips, and yeah, so was lucky that you know that was enjoyed in the house with like music and noise and stuff, and then yeah, I think I had my first band when I was 17. Um it was like my best friend in high school, and my little brother played drums, it was really cute. Chumbucket. Did we were kind of we were actually okay for a teenage band? Like I still stand on what we were doing, it was cute. But yeah, I was playing bass and singing in that, and then um I think I moved to Melbourne when I was around 20. I actually moved to Melbourne to study sound production at RMIT, but I only did a few weeks of the course. I can see now maybe I was pretty self-destructive maybe in my early 20s, you know. I was like not making good choices, and I I actually stopped playing music for a few years, which is yeah, heartbreaking to think back on. Um I was around 23 or something, and it just happened to be that this chick I was getting to know was like we would talk about music, I wasn't playing music, I wasn't doing anything. And um she but me and her started talking about music and sharing ideas and stuff, and she was like, Oh, I'm gonna rent out a music studio. Do you want to like split the rent with me and share the space? And I was like, Yes, okay. Um cool. So I got this shared studio space with this chick subpoena, and um that I had no idea, but that happened to be um this place called the bank. I don't know if you would have heard of it, but it was this really awesome, like just lots of art and music studios. Where about in Preston. Okay. So it was in like an old bank on the at the end of Plenty Road.

SPEAKER_01

It was really special. It sounds very like something that I would find in Europe, like an old building. Like, for example, I had my rehearsals in an one of the places that we did was in like an old light bulb factory. Cool. Or like a bike factory, or like you know, we usually just inhabited those abandoned factories. Okay, sorry.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and I mean the environment is so inspiring like you get so much from it, you're like, oh, there's like a little square thing.

SPEAKER_01

It's like a venue, but uh better.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, true, yeah. Mingling and everything. Yeah, yeah, those places are so nice and like yeah, you should open up a new one like that. I wonder if I'm just like unaware and there is. There must be.

SPEAKER_01

There must be other screw rounds. If anyone who's listening to this, if this ends up being in the podcast in the episode, please tell us. What's the spot? What's the weird repurposed? What's the factory DIY space? Yeah, bang, all bang. Okay.

Going Solo - Freedom and Pain

SPEAKER_00

Anyway, so me having like no community, no music community in Melbourne for a few years, I was just kind of thrown into this like really beautiful music community of all these people who were gigging and doing things, and then there were gigs put on at the bank. Um, yeah, my friend Liam, who was running the whole thing, and um so yeah, I just kind of happened to get a studio space in like a really thriving um art and music community, and then I was actually doing Punko, so I was in this room recording heaps of music and writing heaps of things on my own, and like I was saving it all on my computer as Punko. So Punko kind of existed secretly for me for like 10 years, but then uh my friend Dave, like the people I was making friends with at the studio, they were like, You should play a gig, like helped me get together a band, some really lovely guys, and then basically my punko songs were like the demos, and then they interpreted it. We played them this kind of electronic music. Then I was playing guitar, and there was yeah, two guitars, bass and drums. So all the music in hearing, um some of it we wrote like through a bit of improvised stuff. So it wasn't even a shift for me.

SPEAKER_01

I went from a band and then trying to pivot and like learn everything from scratch as a solo artist. Whereas for you, it seems like you were always very independent.

SPEAKER_00

In a way. I mean it's nice to think of it in that way. I guess I was, but that's how I'm seeing it. That's all I can say.

SPEAKER_01

Do you miss having other people on stage or like that?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, no, because I really relate to what you're saying. There was definitely a pivot to like doing it solo. That definitely felt like that was a 2020 thing. Yeah. Yeah, because it was like it's yeah, it's just so different. And it's hard, it's hard, it is, it's really challenging. It is. It can get really disorienting, and yeah, there's things about doing it solo that I need right now. It's like it is, I feel like where I needed to be to just be able to be completely free with my ideas and my visions, to like actually see them through to the end and not have them uh shift or like deviate, you know, in a beautiful way, in that collaborative way that is really nice, but I feel like the focus that you need to do it solo is because you know that thing, like if you're writing a song and you know you're gonna take it to the band, it's like you don't even really finish it, you're like, oh yeah, we'll figure it out. And then once I was doing it solo, I was like, I have to like think about the structure, I have to like be way more intentional with the songwriting and um and then but but then it's like the vision is stronger. I found in my music, like I believe I loved all the bands I played in, like, and I love that collaborative way. But for Punko, like it felt necessary for me to kind of really step into the solo. I hated it at first to be honest, I didn't like gigging, but I found it really isolating and really painful. Yes, I so resonate with that.

SPEAKER_01

It was like that for me, at least at the beginning.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, why did you do it? Why did you make the shift?

SPEAKER_01

Well, I had to with me leaving Croatia, I entered the band. We had a goodbye tour in 2019. Um, and because I was the one like forming the band with that when I was 14 and I was leading, I was writing the songs, I was doing everything. I was like the booking manager, agent, whatever, producer, whatever you need to be.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

Genre Pressure + Letting It Go

SPEAKER_01

Um, and like a front woman. Like it was just okay, it's done. And then when I moved to Melbourne, it was like and it was actually I don't want to talk about me in this podcast. It's all about Panko, it's all about you, Liv. Yeah, like when I came to Melbourne, I I I will tell this just because it actually connects to you. Um, I moved to Melbourne, I brought a guitar, I brought my petals. So I was like at that point, I was just like front woman playing guitar and like singing, yelling, you know. And I o I could only write songs on the guitar, you know, but I don't have any formal education or anything. And then I couldn't play guitar for like the next eight months because I just felt so lost because this was the first time that I'm playing the guitar on my own, like without actually having a band or like someone to take the songs to. And then I I hated it. I just couldn't look at the guitar, I just like hated it. Yeah, it was just like this awful toxic feeling. And then I went to your show, and I'm serious. Like I I wrote that to you in your email, in the email. Like Phil took me to your show. I just had this breakthrough, like, hey, I could actually try and maybe play the guitar solo on stage. I literally had that moment during your show. So I will never forget that. So I like for me, this podcast, this episode today is just like really nice to finally meet you in person, but like, and just talking about this transition because it was huge. For me, it was like I can still sort of feel that heavy weight, like how it was really hard, like you know, not knowing, like it's a completely new instrument, like completely new approach, right? Yeah, yeah. To thinking about music, to think about songwriting, composing, and then live performing. Oh, and then you know, I haven't even touched based on the decision fatigue and like, oh, is this good? Or like, you know, if it's bad, you're the only one taking the bad, you know. Yeah, but also if it's good, who who do you share that with?

SPEAKER_00

Oh my god, yeah, sorry, I just dumped a lot of manning. No, but I relate, I feel like there was like always this process in other bands of like because I was bringing these Punko demos, which were kind of pop, it's like the next stage of the creative process was to kind of like de-pop them a bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Destroy them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like make it into the other thing, and even if people weren't saying that directly, like I felt the need to be because of the lineups we were on and the things we were doing. I was like, Yeah, I'm trying to like do that thing, and so yeah, getting rid of the guitar was I felt that when you were saying that.

SPEAKER_01

That's really interesting because I do feel like since I started to perform solo and like with with Jiva, I'm I'm much more it just felt liberating in a sense that like I don't I don't fucking care about the genre. I'm just I like this song and I'm gonna write it. Yes. And I'm just gonna perform it. Now it's you we don't care anymore.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, totally, yeah. You're just like in your own skin and you're like, well, fuck it. And also I feel like when you haven't been it's it's something new to explore as well. If you've been repressing it, it's just gonna let it out.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah, the decision fatigue. Do you do is that a thing for you as a solo artist?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I heard of that term recently. I guess it's just like a stupid term, but like you know, when you're just sick of making decisions for yourself. Oh god, I am. I think I am in that. Yeah, because like a few weeks ago I was at a rehearsal space. And I was, I guess that was decision fatigue. I was like, I just wish there was someone in the room to just say, like, should this song go later in the set or earlier in the set? Like, I was just was like, I can't, I don't know, and I felt really lonely in it where I was like, I just would love just a little bit of feedback here and there, and I think there's times where I feel like so driven on my own and then it's all flowing, but then yeah, I guess when you get a bit tired and the grind is like starting to affect you, and you know you need to like tweak things, or um yeah, because I think that is such an important part of the process. Like I find that with recording, like now I know a really part important part of the process is showing it to someone and them telling you it's good.

SPEAKER_01

Like the point where someone says, like, yes, like I feel it, or something, it does it does get tiring and doing all the emails and you know I think it takes a lot of determination and also it's very much forward like exposing to establish an a very clear aura and I I hate the word brand because you're a person and you're like this is your identity, but like when I see and listen Panko, it's very clear to me who you are and what it is. And I think that it takes a lot of integrity, a lot of agency, a lot of determination and consistency to get to that point. And like that's something that no one can take from you. But also, when I see that, what I see in the back is like a lot of thinking, a lot of like trying to make making sure that everything that you want to express is being expressed. And that even means when someone asks you, hey, do you want to do this interview? You sort of like stop and think, Hey, do I wanna give my time to this or wherever? Like so that's that's the only reason why I I mentioned this because and and I sort of thought because you were talking about depletion and like even socializing, and I do think that it's like you give a lot of energy out, and it does give you energy back, but it's questionable if it's like really replenishing what you need to continue producing, yeah, creating. But like even if we go back to one of the biggest successes, like in 2022, Peach Fork uh reviewed uh your uh album Plan Singing. Um like I read some amazing like people actually, which was really great to to to read reviews that someone like Chris from four uh 400 Z reviewed your album and it was just like this such a great review. Someone actually sat down and been listening to your album, like literally dissect your lyrics, and I'm like wow, but that's great success. Like, how how was that for you? How was it was that something that you could take in? Oh that is so nice.

SPEAKER_02

Thanks. Well yeah, but it's like a reality, it's like uh it's fact. Oh, that is so nice.

SPEAKER_00

I guess what was the question? How did it feel? How does it feel? It was a long question. Yeah, no, no. Um that's really not.

SPEAKER_01

Just um, I guess how how how did you feel when you know you it was a Debbie album, right?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, and people were so nice.

Punko as an alter ego

SPEAKER_00

People are so nice to me. It actually blows my mind. Like you even asked me to do this. I was like, whoa, that is so yeah, I feel so lucky that anyone even oh it is weird that people even listen to it, but like, yeah, I guess I did have some n really nice reviews and it was received well within like the yeah, community radio stuff. Community radio is so amazing, like they were really so. Were you working with someone? Like, were you the one sending emails? No, so for that album, actually, I did release it through Dinosaur City Records. Ah, yeah, okay, okay. So Jordan from that like helped a lot with she was doing a lot of the publicity stuff, like sending it to people. Um and I also feel like you know, there's that, and then there's also just the music community in Melbourne. That's why I felt so much support, like I think from playing here for so long in like lots of different bands that I ended up playing in. There's just there was there were people that were really encouraging and um yeah, so nice. Like I it was during lockdown, so it was really trippy to be um like releasing music and not being able to gig. Like yeah, um also with my health stuff, I was like shielding for quite a while longer that when when it opened up, I still didn't go and gig. Um and yeah, it was really nice. It felt really good to honestly just doing it felt good because there was something I'd been talking about for so long. And the fact that I actually like recorded the album and then released it, I really didn't I don't know what I thought. I guess it was just about the process, but I was really surprised that it was received like in a way that was positive because I am like pretty self-deprecating, you know, like I am I have to work on that. Like I put myself down a lot, but also because I was like a lot. You're very yeah, I guess humble. Well I try to like I'm trying to work on it like yeah, I need to go through phrases, but um I wasn't I think the biggest surprise was like me, that was the first time I was like actually referring to myself as a producer. That was probably the biggest surprise that came from it was like having these things that was like talking about the production and and I was like, oh, okay, like I was just making it up, doing it in a way that was pretty shonky. Like my recording process is in the scheme of things, like very unrefined. I'd say like it's pretty, I'm just doing it my way, and so that was probably the biggest surprise to be like, okay, cool, I'm allowed to do what I just did, and people said it was good, so it was really um encouraging because I didn't have a lot of confidence in my recording abilities. So yeah, that that part of it was probably a big confidence boost to be like, oh um I guess I'm a producer.

SPEAKER_01

Maybe you are questioning a lot, but whenever we talk or even exchange emails, it's quite clear. And that's really important, I think.

SPEAKER_00

It sort of like shields you. I'm I'm really fascinated by this because yes, I know what you're talking about, and it's interesting because I thought about this, like Punko feels really, really protected for me, and um vocalizing boundaries or like even identifying my needs as a person out in the world is like challenging for me. Um, and also I throughout my life I've had to assess like in different living situations and even relationships and things, I've invited like people into my life that don't have the best intentions for me, and one day it like really became clear to me, like, and it was actually my mom that brought it to my attention. She was like, you need to like sink into like a punko, like, because you don't do that with your music, and I really realized I was like, everyone I work with, everyone I collaborate with, not just in Punko, but nearly everything, but it's always goes well. I feel like really clear in what I want, clear in how it should flow, I trust the right people, like it's it's really instinctual with Punko, and it feels like um, yeah, I don't back and forth question things with Punko. I can just, it is like a weird yeah, that clarity exists in Punko, and I really want to figure out how to bring it into the rest of my life. I want to harness that energy in other places, and I haven't fully figured out how to do that. But do you find that with your projects? Like you you know what to do.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, right now with Jiva, yes. But like for Punchke, like my band before, it was a process. For that band, it was like a learning curve, of course, because I was 14 when when we started and it was just like really full on, full on learning everything on the go. But now with Jiva, I'm very I'm like very protective and very like strict and but I really love it. I'm not 100% sure that I can I have the same challenge in front of me, like how to make sure that it's also in my life, like on other areas. Um, but I also think that sometimes it's really hard to make all these decisions. I do have clarity, but but it's hard. It's just like sometimes you have to vocalize it and it's not always comfortable or you it's not like you always feel good about it, but you know it's the right thing, right? And also the the the reality of the the fact that you are alone, right? So once you send that email through or you answer whatever, it's only you, it's not like you can consulted with someone, and if that makes sense. And I don't know. I like I like the idea, it's like an alter egg or it's like for me, you know, for me, Jiva is my protector, it's my like goddess. Like that's how I see it. Like it's yeah, something that I created to protect myself. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00

I love that.

SPEAKER_01

Is it necessarily necessary to have really Panko completely merge with you? Who knows? You know, maybe it's just like because you're alone, right? Like maybe that's like another person that you, you know, your other self, you know, maybe that's where the conversation actually happens. You know, like one side is like no, no, no, say yes, and then Panko is like no, no.

SPEAKER_02

Get back. Yes.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, I love that you say that it's your protector. I feel that yeah, I feel that like Panko isn't me. Like it's funny sometimes when yeah, someone will say, like, you talk about Panko as if it's not you, but like I'm I'm like, it's not me. Like it is uh it's like a vessel. It feels like a vessel and it's really yeah, protected.

SPEAKER_01

I got goosebumps right now. And I feel like that aura is visible when I whenever I see you alive. Oh wow. Something really strong and grounded. I just wanted to express that out loud because I think it's something really um it takes a lot of effort and a lot of exposure, a lot of vulnerability in a way to get that out.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and then it is just like kind of just actually happening because I don't well I mean it's inter it was I mean it was interesting to hear you say that that when you like see like your impression of Punko is interesting to hear that it seems like clear and strong, like because I do I'm not like that on top of social media stuff. Like I'm not like I don't share much or do much, and so and I mean I question that sometimes I'm like it behind every pose there's there's a lot of struggle.

SPEAKER_01

Oh yeah, like it doesn't get any easier. Yesterday I was like, oh I have I'll post this, and then I was like, oh should I post this and then I just didn't post anything.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and that's what I'm kind of noticing at the moment that I'm trying to be wary of is like I've realized that like um yeah, with gigging, yeah, just analyzing the spaces in music and the all the different parts of being creative or mu doing the music stuff, like um when you get when you spend too long in the kind of bits where you're being perceived a lot, I feel like it gets really out of whack. And I'm and I'm starting to notice that with gigging a bit actually at the moment, particularly like linked back to that solo thing. Um like when you're doing it solo and the gig, I mean the gig is so many things, like it's spiritual, it's like ritual, it's it's there's so many things with gigging, but one component of that being like perception and feedback because you're not in a band and you're on your own. I've just realized through like a busy patch of gigging, and then with that being more active online of like come to the gig, come to the gig. I've been like really plugged into like those things recently of like you know trying to create a bit of hype around a gig and do the thing, and it's like very much about perception, and I think I've like keen for a shift out of that space to go a bit more internal with the creative stuff. Um even though there is creativity happening the whole time, like I'm noticing a bit um linking the headspace with promoting gigs and social media stuff where it's like when it gets a bit too far that way, I get a bit bit disoriented about what I'm doing.

SPEAKER_01

And it's also like depleting a lot of energy, you know, like we're you're what creating you're putting a lot of energy into promoting a show, like but I think yeah, like I could talk about like I would love to talk about this, uh like for a long time. I feel like it's it's also a whole other thing of of in a way, even venues now, like venues are not in a good position, right? Economy and rising, like but the audience is not as well, and now but now everything is again fallen to the artists. Like we all have to do everything. It's like they're there, we should be grateful that venues exist and we will do everything, right? Yeah, in a way you know what I mean. Like we could yeah, and like yet we already created the music and like now we're creating the content, and yeah.

SPEAKER_00

It's it's uh it's heaps.

Next Album - Space, Sound + Collaboration

SPEAKER_01

It's like really, yeah, yeah, it's heaps. The only thing that drives me, I've spent this time creating this music. I'm like hoping that people really will get something out of that. It will dis inspire some other people. The best way to do it is to do it live. So I might as well just maybe not play often, but then whenever I play it, I'm just gonna be like go crazy. Yeah, like it's a lot of energy though. So I I think it's completely I feel you, like hey, come to my show, hey, hey. Sometimes I even feel embarrassed. I'm like, uh you know, I'm like, oh I'm so sorry, you know, just like but then I'm also like, well, fuck that, you know, like you know, like it's not like I want we want to be in this position, but it's like this is the only way that you can do it. Like Yeah, just posting heats on like yeah, like finding the balance. Yeah, that again that I think that goes back to me again to the decision fatigue, you know, how much is enough, how much is too much. Yes. I've been talking in this episode quite a lot so far. No, it's good. No, no, no, I just realized. Yeah, where where are you at right now in what headspace? What is happening with Panko? Mmm, you know, like my first thought when I get got to this river is like, oh, you must be writing or like thinking about writing your songs or like listening to something.

Routine vs Writing - The Gigging Season

SPEAKER_00

I think where I'm at right now, well, I'm probably in between places at the moment because like I moved back to Melbourne in August. Just I've said yes to so many gigs. Like by my standards, I've gigged a lot, which has been so awesome to do again. And now, like going back to what we're saying about solo performing being a bit painful, now I love it. Like through the last um year, actually, before I was in Melbourne, I I felt like I kind of cracked the code for me to enjoy it a lot. So now I've I feel like I've just had this phase of like okay, I'm gigging, I figured out what makes that really meaningful and sustainable for me to do, and yeah, I feel like I've just had a lot of output and yeah, a lot of energy. Obviously, it takes a lot of energy to gig. And um yeah, I really want to work on my next album. So I've been playing like all the songs I'm playing in my set are new. I only play one song off my album that I released, but so yeah, I've got like heaps of demos, heaps of songs that I'm playing live that I haven't like really um finished the recordings for or even the writing for them. Um so yeah, I'm in between things and I I'm like keen in the next like couple of weeks. April, I've got I've got no geeks for the rest of this month, and I really want to just like sit and um actually figure that out. Like, okay, what am I doing? Like, how do I want to record my album? Um what is the next step? Um, do I want to like bring do I want that to be more collaborative? Like, I'm really craving a bit more like organic instrumentation on the next album that I make. Um and Plant Singing was recorded in my bedroom in that house. Okay. Um I did it all there. So there feels like something weird about recording there again. Like I could do it again in this small bedroom, but I I don't want it doesn't feel right. So yeah, I'm really like thinking um about where where do I need to be like in terms of like a physical space and um I'm in a bit of a figuring it out moment actually. I've loved gigg, I've loved gigging, but I think something is I'm starting to kind of push up against some edge there where I'm like I need to loosen it up.

SPEAKER_01

And what is the routine? Like, how often do you play music? Like you have it set up in your bedroom right now, like yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So do you know three phase in Brunswick? No. It's a really great rehearsal space. So yeah, before I have a gig, I'll usually do like two rehearsals leading up. In that zone, I am like running the set, experimenting a little bit, but like it's not a very creative space, it's more like working and um yeah, rehearsing and like running through things. And yeah, well, I think while I've been in this gigging mode since I've come back to Melbourne, I haven't been writing much music. Yeah, I'm just noticing coming back to Melbourne. I'm like, okay, I have to manage this, there's so much on here. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's fresh, like August. I'm sure I'll find the like writing headspace again. Keen to release music because I think that has its own force. Yeah, once you release something, then you just go on a little journey. So I think I'm keen to be taken somewhere.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and I I see what you mean. Like it's sort of you have sort of in a way have to be like, okay, enough of the gigging. Now I have to focus on the creating. You can have a gig here and there, but like it's a different headspace, it's a completely different, at least for me, I don't know. But I think this is a good point to also maybe end our conversation with the gig that we're gonna have together. I'm so excited. 23rd of May, Friday, Grace Darling. Place where I saw you first live. Yeah, everything has a meaning in my life. Um, I really I'm really happy that you could join the lineup and yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, thanks so much for asking me to do this. I was so excited.

SPEAKER_01

Have two vessels on the stage. Now that I know what it means to you, I'm like oh shit, it's gonna be it's gonna be acting. Whoever is listening, if you're in Melbourne on 23rd of May, Friday, come to Grace Darling, Bandroom, Panko, and myself, Jiva, Alterego, many vessels, many goddesses in the in the space. Yeah. Yeah, actually I at the very end I do have five quick questions. The first one is, uh well, I guess this depends like favorite software or tool that you use for music? Software, logic, garage band, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00

I'm on logic. Okay. I shifted from garage band to logic in the last few years, feeling proud of that.

SPEAKER_01

The second question is what's your favorite um soundtrack? Movie or TV show?

SPEAKER_00

Oh, there's this movie called Monsoon Wedding. It's like a Bollywood film that has a really beautiful soundtrack. There's songs off that.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, you'll send me the links. So I can share in the newsletter. Well, Romeo and Juliet. Okay. Romeo and Juliet. I want I want to listen to all of that so you'll share. Okay, so the Romeo and Juliet's. Romeo and Julia, okay. So this is a very interesting. The most inspiring thing you've read. Mmm. Ever? Ever. It can be ever or like something that really, you know, you would recommend to everyone.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, give me a second because I'm gonna have to dig deep in my brain, but I want to find out what my answer to that is.

SPEAKER_01

I'm just gonna stare at the river.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Okay. And it should be easier for me to think of that because I'm not a huge reader, so there were two things that came up. One of them is Braiding Sweetgrass. It's a book by Robin. She's a First Nations woman from like Turtle Island, so like America, and um, it's a really beautiful book um that came to mind. And then currently I'm having like a I'm really into tarot. Okay. I've been like studying and reading tarot for about eight or nine years, and I've just been like I have it in my bag actually. This book, if you want to pull a tarot card when we're finished, it's called The Mirror of the Soul. Um, it's based on the Thoth deck, which is like a really important, one of the like kind of iconic tarot decks um out there by Alistair Crowley. But this book is um kind of like a therapeutic tool for me at the moment. It has like um each card, it has a bit about the card, and then it has some prompts and suggestions and questions.

SPEAKER_01

Um then uh what is your favorite Melbourne uh musician or sound artist?

SPEAKER_00

Yes, okay, okay, okay. God, there's so many. I know I'm gonna think one of my favourite and like one of the most inspiring musicians for me in Melbourne is I mean Sui Chen, the person I played with, Becky Freeman. Like she is just the hugest source of inspiration, and I love everything she does, so I would say Becky. Um my friend Sienna um Sienna Thornton is a really incredible musician and she had a a three-piece kind of version of her music called Cyanide Thornton, which is one of the biggest influences on Punko. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Last question is music that you think other people is like maybe underrated or hidden that people should know about. God, I actually had this thought the other day where I was like, this.

SPEAKER_00

Do you know actually? Someone who I always think I'm like, they are so successful, so it feels weird calling them underrated because whoever knows them knows, like they're epic. But scraps. Do you know scraps? Yes.

SPEAKER_01

From Brisbane? Yeah. Okay, well, thank you for your time. Yeah, thank you. Thank you for bringing me to this beautiful place. I'm so happy. Yes, thank you.