There's No Place Like Home--Even with Teenagers!

Have you ever found yourself chasing after the next big thing, only to realize that what truly matters was right in front of you all along? In this heartfelt episode of Fulfilling Work, Meaningful Life, Anthony and Jennifer Craiker dive deep into the importance of home and family, sharing personal stories and insights about parenting, marriage, and making sure we don’t lose sight of what’s most important.

Using The Wizard of Oz as a framework, they discuss:

• ✅ Why fulfillment isn’t just about career success—it’s about building a meaningful life.
• ✅ How parenting changes over time, from raising toddlers to guiding teenagers.
• ✅ The challenges of staying present and not always looking “over the rainbow” for the next big thing.
• ✅ Practical strategies for strengthening family bonds, including date nights and intentional connection.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the demands of life and work, this episode is a reminder to pause, appreciate, and invest in what truly matters.

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📌 Recommended Reading: 📖 The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum – Find it on Amazon

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00:00 Introduction: Chasing Dreams vs. Appreciating Home
01:03 Meet the Hosts: Anthony and Jennifer Craiker
01:32 The Mission of Fulfilling Work, Meaningful Life
03:32 Jennifer's Love for The Wizard of Oz
06:06 Balancing Ambition and Presence
07:34 Challenges and Joys of Parenting
10:08 Advice for Raising Teenagers
20:52 Universal Parenting: Connecting with Other Parents
24:03 Conclusion: Finding Joy in the Journey
27:50 Final Thoughts and Call to Action

https://fulfillingworkmeaningfullife.com/

Transcript

[00:00:00] Anthony: Have you ever found yourself chasing something, whether it's a dream, a career, or a goal, only to realize that what matters most was right in front of you the whole time? In today's episode of Fulfilling Work Meaningful Life, my wife Jennifer and I explore the delicate balance between ambition and presence, between striving for something over the rainbow and appreciating the beauty of home and family.

[00:00:28] We'll talk about what the Wizard of Oz can teach us about fulfillment, share personal stories about parenting through different stages, and discuss how to stay grounded in what truly matters. Whether you're raising toddlers, guiding teenagers, or simply trying to be more present in your daily life, this conversation is for you.

[00:00:48] So sit back, relax, and let's talk about why, no matter where life takes us, there really is no place like [00:01:00] home. 

[00:01:03] Back to another episode of fulfilling work, meaningful life. I'm your host, Anthony Craiker, and I am joined today by my best friend, my sweetheart and co founder of fulfilling work, meaningful life, Jennifer Craiker. Hey. All right. So we thought today we'd both jump on and have a conversation about home and family.

[00:01:32] And one of the things that we wanted to. Emphasize to our audience is that the mission of fulfilling work, meaningful life is much more than just helping people with their career development or providing career coaching, uh, things like that. It's. Ultimately about helping you prioritize and find meaning in the most [00:02:00] important aspects of your life.

[00:02:02] And for most of us, the most important aspect of our lives is our home, our family, and we talk about work and careers on this show because that's a big part of our lives. And it directly affects the way that we feel about the other parts of our lives because we, most of us, spend so much time working. 

[00:02:26] So we come at this idea of fulfilling work, meaningful life from a holistic perspective. All of these important aspects of our lives, whether that's our work, our career, uh, our family, our relationships outside of our family, our involvement in church or community.

[00:02:47] Anthony: All of those aspects of our lives are interconnected. And when one aspect isn't providing fulfillment and meaning and purpose, That can have a negative effect on the [00:03:00] other areas of our lives that are important. And for most of us, I, like I said, I think the most important aspect of our lives is our family, our home.

[00:03:11] And especially if you're married and raising children, that's your number one responsibility, right? 

[00:03:19] So to set the stage for today's conversation, we wanted to talk about Jennifer's favorite movie of all time, which is 

[00:03:32] Jennifer: It's the Wizard of Oz and I have loved this movie since I mean, really, as long as I can remember. Honestly, my first memory of this movie, and maybe it's not even the movie so much as the show itself, is seeing it on stage.

[00:03:48] I remember being quite young, going to a high school production of it, and just falling in love with it. And I loved, I've just loved it forever. And at that time, [00:04:00] I really connected with the character of Dorothy. She was my favorite. I wanted to be her. 

[00:04:06] So one of the reasons I think that I really connected with Dorothy and with this movie is I was, or am the youngest of six children and I was, I have siblings that are 12 years older than me, and when I was 6 years old, those siblings started to leave home and go off on their own and do their own big things, and I longed to do the same.

[00:04:28] Right, I longed for bigger and better things beyond Kansas, if you will. And I just connected with that idea that you can go searching for it, and Go on this adventure. But in the end, there's no place like home and the people that you love. 

[00:04:44] Anthony: So as you've gotten older and you've become a mother and we've raised three children or two and a half children together, would you say that the meaning of Wizard of Oz has changed [00:05:00] for you in any way? 

[00:05:02] Jennifer: Perhaps. I mean, I still have that little girl longing in me to go off and find adventure, but then I remember You know, there's no place like home, but also I think my perspective has changed in that.

[00:05:13] Maybe my role in the movie has changed, if you will. Like I no longer, I'm no longer Dorothy. 

[00:05:19] Anthony: Our son thinks you're the wicked witch. 

[00:05:21] Jennifer: I know. And honestly, I think it would be kind of hilarious if he got his way and they sang ding dong, the witch is dead at my funeral, but I really am okay with it. I think it's funny, but, um, no, I think honestly it's, it's.

[00:05:38] I guess in some ways, I think maybe I'm Glenda, but it doesn't really work either because I'm too old to be Glenda, but I think of our girls or our kids as Dorothy and more now, and maybe that makes me Aunt Em, I don't know, but I just, I think identify less with the need to go out and find something bigger and more with the idea of creating a home [00:06:00] that my children will feel like there's no place like it.

[00:06:03] Anthony: Yeah, I think. Sometimes it's easy to forget what's most important in life, right? There's nothing wrong with having dreams and goals. In fact, that's an important part of a meaningful life is becoming better and, uh, going after the things that we're excited or passionate about. But sometimes we. Tend to spend too much time looking over the rainbow, right?

[00:06:33] And it, when we do that, when we spend too much time looking over the rainbow, it's easy to forget about the things that we have right in front of us, it's easy to forget to appreciate the things that matter most, the things that we have right in front of us and live in the present. 

[00:06:52] Jennifer: Oh, and I definitely felt that, especially throughout the years. I can look back and think about times, you know, when our kids were smaller, when you were in [00:07:00] law school, and I think, okay, if we can just get through law school, if we can get past that.

[00:07:04] Then everything's going to be great. Or if we can get through diapers or, you know, whatever, whatever stage we were in, if we can finish elementary school, whatever it was, I would, I would always be looking for the next thing instead of appreciating where we were right now. And honestly, now that we're past the diapers and past the elementary school and almost past high school.

[00:07:25] I would love to go back and redo that with a little more presence, right? Being in the present. 

[00:07:33] Anthony: Yeah. Raising a family is hard work. And there's a reason that the show is not called Fulfilling Career Meaningful Life. It's called Fulfilling Work Meaningful Life. Because a career is one type of work. But raising a family, and that's Regardless of whether you're a stay at home parent or a working parent, raising a family is hard work.

[00:07:58] It takes a lot of [00:08:00] dedication and effort, and we've had our ups and downs like any other family, but we've learned some things along the way about how to. Prioritize family and make that the central part of our lives in combination with our faith. 

[00:08:18] Jennifer: So one thing I think we should point out is both you and I have spent time being stay at home parents.

[00:08:26] Anthony: Yeah, that's true. 

[00:08:29] Jennifer: You may look at this right now, you know, you have a career as an attorney. I have, um, a part time career now working in the nonprofit sector. But when we were first married and had our first child and you were still in school, I was working full time and you stayed at home during the day with our oldest and then, you know, eventually that changed and I was the one at home, but both of us had that experience of being at home.

[00:08:53] And I think looking back, I. I would say you can look at our lives and see how we've always [00:09:00] prioritized family, both of us. You know, one of us have had to give more than another even at some times, right? If somebody, you know, there were times in your career where you needed to give more to your career, but I could make up the difference at home and vice versa.

[00:09:13] We've done that. We've, we've helped each other in that way. 

[00:09:17] Anthony: Yeah. Um, and I look back on that time with a lot of fondness. I actually loved being a stay at home dad with our first child for the first year and a half, two years of her life. That was a really special time for me. Um, but, but it's, but it is hard work and you did most of the hard work of you.

[00:09:40] Raising the kids when I, uh, started law school and, uh, started my, you know, full time career, uh, because you were at home with three of them eventually. Um, so I had it a little bit easier than you did, but 

[00:09:54] Jennifer: yeah, 

[00:09:55] Anthony: different. It was easier. 

[00:09:57] Jennifer: I don't know. I don't know. 

[00:09:58] Anthony: But [00:10:00] along the way, there are. Our challenges, right?

[00:10:03] Different stages of raising a family pose different sets of challenges. Our most recent stage is raising teenagers. And we, we now have two in college and we have a 16 year old still at home. What kind of advice could you give to the audience about that stage of raising a family?

[00:10:27] Jennifer: Oh, man. I mean, technically we still have two teenagers, right? We have a 19 year old as well, but quickly that will change. I don't even know how to begin because I feel like other people tried to give me advice about preparing for the teenage years. And I wouldn't listen because I couldn't see past the difficulty I was in and nothing could be as difficult as what I was experiencing in the moment.

[00:10:51] And it's a different kind of difficult, right? It's not as physically taxing, I guess you could say. Um, it's so much more mental, [00:11:00] it's a, it's a, a mental exertion unlike anything I've ever, you love this child, you want so much for them, but it's like, it doesn't matter what you say, if you feel like they're not, you're not getting through that hard head, right?

[00:11:14] And I guess I would say the best advice I could give is just, is to love them. To love them enough to say no when you need to. To love them enough to not punish them in a moment and just hug them. Or to love them enough To give that hard discipline or to have that hard conversation, love can look different.

[00:11:38] It, I'm, it's not, it's never harsh, but sometimes it requires so much patience and some discipline and some strong words. And sometimes it requires no words and just a hug. And that's a hard balance to find, and you're gonna make mistakes. And so, I guess the best piece of advice I could give when you're parenting [00:12:00] teenagers is to be kind to yourself and be patient with yourself.

[00:12:04] Anthony: Yeah, and forgive yourself when you mess up, because you're gonna mess up. We all, we all mess up as parents. 

[00:12:11] Jennifer: Maybe I should return the question though, to you of what would your advice be about parenting teenagers from your, from a dad's perspective? 

[00:12:23] Anthony: Yeah, it's a, it's a great question. Um, I can tell you what I've learned about parenting teenagers and that is that it requires a great deal of patience. and thoughtfulness.

[00:12:46] The moment as a parent that you become reactionary to what your teenager is saying or doing, you've lost the battle. That's something I've learned, right? It's not like when you have [00:13:00] a A younger child who's doing something bad and you just tell them to stop it. And if you don't stop, you're going to get in trouble.

[00:13:09] Unfortunately, or maybe I'm sure it's supposed to be this way, but, but unfortunately for the parent, it, it doesn't quite work like that most of the time with teenagers and we, I, we should say we have great kids. Like all three of our kids are really, really great kids. They're, they're, uh, They're good. They don't get into a lot of trouble.

[00:13:31] Yeah, they, they're smart. They're talented. Uh, they're each one of them is completely different and unique in their own way. And each of them have had their own challenges going through the teenage years, which is such a difficult time for any, any kid, right. The, the adolescence phase. And so I, I've just learned that.

[00:13:54] My parenting is more effective and more productive [00:14:00] when I exercise patience and I'm thoughtful in the way that I approach a conversation or a difficult situation with one of the kids. Um, and that takes a lot of self discipline and frankly, a lot of practice. I mean, I've, I've had to. Practice and get better at it.

[00:14:19] But I think I have gotten better. 

[00:14:20] Jennifer: I think so. We've but we have made our share of mistakes along the way. One of the things that it's taught me is to be kinder to other parents, um, to, to recognize that We don't really know what's going on in their home with their children. And I think my observation is that every teenager has something that's difficult, right?

[00:14:43] Every teenager, every family experiences some kind of difficulty through those teenage years and you don't know what that's looking like and you can't compare it to your own home because they don't even know what's happening in your home, right? But I think there's this, [00:15:00] This universal like connection we have with other parents of like, I know you're doing something hard and I want to like be a support, but I'm doing that.

[00:15:08] I'm not going to judge you for how you're doing that. 

[00:15:11] Anthony: Right. So we talked earlier about. Not looking over the rainbow all the time and focusing on the present and appreciating what you have right in front of you. How do you do that when you're right in the midst of dealing with a challenging teenager or a challenging situation with a teenager?

[00:15:33] Jennifer: . So yeah, I had this aha moment about a year or so ago when we were experiencing a difficulty with one of our kids that just seemed Unsurmountable.

[00:15:43] It was really taxing. It was really difficult. It was just a mixture of um, you know, puberty and some emotional challenges and just sort of a battle that was going on in our house trying to figure out us as parents how to handle that and them trying to figure out their [00:16:00] way kind of thing.

[00:16:01] And I had this thought come to me one day that really kind of changed the game for me, which was they're not finished yet. And so I was so worried about the here and now and what was happening. You know, and what that meant for the future, but the realization that the here and now wasn't the future, that they were still, they still had all this time to grow and change and figure it out as we do.

[00:16:29] And it helped me kind of deal with the day to day and stay in that moment and not worry so much about what the future was, but realize we're on a journey. To get to that better place, right? And they had the time to grow and change. And so I find myself when I, um, I'm struggling or one of the kids comes to me and I don't quite know what to do, or I think, Oh gosh, why are they making this decision?

[00:16:53] I remember they're not finished yet and I wouldn't want to be. Defined by my 16 year old self or [00:17:00] my 19 year old self or my even my 21 year old self and I shouldn't define them there either 

[00:17:06] Anthony: Yeah, one of the things that we did during that pretty difficult time was prioritizing our date night and You know, we've we've always had date nights.

[00:17:24] We haven't I wouldn't say we've done it consistently like every Friday night is date night, that kind of thing, but we, we try to regularly have date nights, but during this particularly challenging time with one of our kids, we prioritize date night and we had a rule. During date night that we couldn't talk about that child, we could talk about anything else, but we couldn't talk about that child because we needed to be able to step away from it.

[00:17:51] And our, thankfully we have, I think we have a great marriage, a really strong marriage, and we're able to work through our problems together. And [00:18:00] so we, we weren't having marital problems in the sense that the relationship was strained or anything like that, but we weren't connecting. Like we needed to just as husband and wife.

[00:18:11] And so I found that to be a really helpful measure that we took to just make sure that we were also focused on and appreciating our relationship as husband and wife. And even though we were dealing with a challenging time, uh, we could, we could recognize the, the, the good things in our lives. And, and also I think it helps to, when you appreciate the other aspects of your life and take your mind off the problems, you realize the problems aren't usually as bad as you are thinking they are in the moment.

[00:18:52] And it gives you some perspective to do that. 

[00:18:55] Jennifer: I do think, though, that we've probably, I'm pretty certain [00:19:00] we failed on our rule every date night, that at some point a comment would be made and then we're like, wait, we're breaking the rule. Yeah. It was hard. I mean, but we've always had, like you said, we've always.

[00:19:12] Kind of prioritize date night, but sometimes we didn't have the money to prioritize date night and we had to learn to make date night at home, right? Like when the kids were really small and babysitters were expensive. And sometimes we just had to say, okay, the kids are going to bed at eight o'clock and we're having a date night tonight.

[00:19:28] Um, I can remember us having a conversation. When, I, gosh, I think it was when our first was real little and just together agreeing that our relationship became, like, started before the children came. And so our relationship should be prioritized in that same way. 

[00:19:46] Anthony: And it will continue after the children are all out on their own and completely independent.

[00:19:52] In about 18 

[00:19:53] Jennifer: months. 

[00:19:54] Anthony: Well. 

[00:19:55] Jennifer: I said in about 18 months. 

[00:19:56] Anthony: Completely independent, includes financially [00:20:00] dependent in my mind. So we might have a few more years left of that. 

[00:20:05] Jennifer: We love you kids. Yeah. 

[00:20:07] Anthony: But you're right, I mean, it's, it's important no matter what stage of life you're at and uh, if you can't afford to go out on a date night, do a date night at home.

[00:20:19] Find, you know, find, even if it's just watching a movie together and talking about it, which is something we love to do. And frankly, as As we've gotten older and I guess more tired sometimes, even though we can afford to go out now, 

[00:20:34] Jennifer: we don't, 

[00:20:34] Anthony: we don't, we prefer to stay home and have a date night at home. I was just 

[00:20:38] Jennifer: going to say the same thing.

[00:20:39] I think now we've kind of gone back. Back to that, but not because we couldn't pay for it, just because home is more comfortable. 

[00:20:46] Anthony: Yeah, yeah, for sure. 

[00:20:49] Jennifer: Right, right. There's no place like home. 

[00:20:52] Anthony: So one of the reasons that we wanted to talk about these things on the show is because these are universal problems [00:21:00] that we have, right? Uh, universal challenges, universal phases of life that we go through as parents, raising children and uh, all that goes into that.

[00:21:11] And you had kind of come up with this idea of what you called universal parenting. Do you want to talk a little bit about that? 

[00:21:18] Jennifer: Sure, it's an idea that came to me, gosh, um, probably More than a year ago, I don't even remember exactly the genesis of the idea, but this, I think, as parents, especially as moms, we tend to feel alone a lot.

[00:21:34] Um, you know, we, we have this, there's a lot of sharing that goes on in our society, right? Sharing the best of this and the best of that, and you can look on social media and it looks like everyone's always Perfectly dressed and everyone's house is perfectly clean and their children aren't having any problems and then you're sitting in your own home and your pajamas and The house is a mess and the kids are screaming and you're like nobody else is like me And so that it's very isolating and it feels alone and you feel like you can't talk [00:22:00] about those things But one thing if you know me, um at all is you know that I like to talk and i'm really not Afraid to share almost anything and um, I have found That really helpful to me in life as I share my stories and share my thoughts and talk to friends and hear if I share, usually they share, and then we all feel a little bit less alone because we're all experiencing really similar things.

[00:22:26] They're different, a little different, but there's these universal emotions and experiences that happen in parenthood that go beyond political party or religion or. Just your, your personality, you know, there's things that we all feel regardless of who we are because we are parents and talking about them and sharing them helps us to feel less alone and really helps us connect and realize like, Oh, somebody else is experiencing this and they got through it.

[00:22:56] I can do that too. Or even if it's, they haven't gotten through it yet. [00:23:00] They're just, you know, you're not walking through that alone. And so my thought is to find some way to connect a community of. of parents, specifically mothers, um, in those universal feelings and experiences that we share. 

[00:23:12] Anthony: So is this a teaser for a future project that might fall under the umbrella of fulfilling work meaningful life?

[00:23:21] Jennifer: I guess you could call it that. I don't know what the project exactly is. It's in the very early stages of figuring it out, whether that's a book, an online community or a, um, I don't know. It's there is some brainstorming happening, um, some things being written, but it's kind of always on my mind and something that I actually tried to, like I said, put in practice with my friends.

[00:23:45] If I share, they seem to share and it really does seem to benefit us. So something will happen with it. I don't know what yet. 

[00:23:52] Anthony: So stay tuned to everybody, um, more stuff coming from Jennifer. So as we kind [00:24:00] of wrap up the conversation here. I think the point that we want to drive home, no pun intended, there's no place like home.

[00:24:12] I think there was a pun 

[00:24:12] Jennifer: intended, go for it. 

[00:24:14] Anthony: No, I didn't, okay. The point that we want to drive home is that We need to find joy in the journey of raising our families and enjoying our home and making it not just the most important part of our lives, but even a sacred part of our lives and cherish the, the little things, the small day to day moments.

[00:24:44] And when you're in the middle of. You know, a toddler screaming or a teenager screaming, um, you 

[00:24:52] Jennifer: know, when 

[00:24:54] Anthony: you're, when you're in the midst of, uh, those problems, [00:25:00] you know, after they subside, you know, Just try to take a step back and and recognize all of the good things about raising a family Because there's there's so much good that comes from it I mean, it's it's the thing that gives me and I think you would say probably you to the most meaning in in my life it's everything to me 

[00:25:22] Jennifer: And let, let us just be clear here though, finding joy in the journey of raising a family does not look like a perfectly dressed, perfectly behaved, peaceful, happy family, 100 percent of the time, like we would be complete liars if we claimed that was us, because it's not, and I don't think it's anybody, but you can Despite all of that, you can still find joy in the messy 

[00:25:49] Anthony: and I think, I think, I think the word journey implies, right, that there are, there are going to be rocky roads that we have to traverse.

[00:25:59] . [00:26:00] So, so find joy in the journey. Remember, there's no place like home. There really isn't, uh, Dorothy is right. , , it's a beautiful message to remember.

[00:26:11] It's a message that really resonates with most people when they think about it. When, when we can kind of take a step back from the challenging parts of marriage and family and home life, and look at the big picture and cherish those precious moments, it's easy to. To realize that there really is no place like home. 

[00:26:37] Jennifer: So we've talked about how I love the movie Wizard of Oz, but I've loved it so much that I have read the book as well.

[00:26:44] So there's the movie, the stage play, the book, and the book is written by L. Frank Baum. And I found a quote from the book that I think really Goes into what we're talking about here. It says, no matter how dreary and gray our homes are, we people [00:27:00] of flesh and blood would rather live there than in any other country, be it ever so beautiful.

[00:27:05] And I don't think he's saying, you know, we'd, we'd take our ugly home over something else. I think it's the feelings and the people that are there that make that. Dreary in his quote, dreary home. So he's talking about Kansas, right? And then the movie that when you're in Kansas, it's, it's gray, right? It's black and white.

[00:27:22] And when you get to Oz, then it's colorful. But the idea is that it doesn't matter. You can go to some fancy palace or something else, but when it's not home, you would long for your small home over the palace. And I think that it's the feeling that you create there. It's the relationships that you create there.

[00:27:40] It's the joy that we find there. And I just love in my head, there's also the phrase, be it ever so humble, there's no place like home. 

[00:27:48] Anthony: Beautiful. Well, I hope that everyone's enjoyed listening to this conversation and Jen's going to come on probably a little more frequently, I think, um, on, [00:28:00] on to the show. I do like you.

[00:28:02] And I love you. Um, so, so we'll look forward to having more conversations, uh, with Jen. With us and sharing our insights and experiences with you that hopefully you'll find helpful. , and we, we appreciate everybody tuning in. Could you do us a favor? , 

[00:28:20] if you've gotten something out of fulfilling work, meaningful life, if, uh, if you've enjoyed the show, would you give us a rating on whatever podcast app you listen to? And, uh, if you listen on Apple, would you write a. Positive review for us. That would mean a great deal to us. And it helps us to be able to get the word out to other people.

[00:28:44] I don't know exactly how the podcast algorithms work, but I do know that one of the things that we're taught to do when, when we're learning about podcasting is to, , try to get, , ratings and reviews that will help the show [00:29:00] be pushed, , to other people or come up in search results or whatever.

[00:29:03] I, I don't understand all that stuff, but, , but it would mean a great deal to us, uh, if, if you've appreciated the content that we've provided so far, if you'd give us a, a positive rating or review. 

[00:29:14] Jennifer: All right. So great show, honey. 

[00:29:16] Anthony: thanks so much for listening to today's episode. Please remember to check out my website, fulfillingworkmeaningfullife. com, to sign up for my monthly newsletter, Meaningful Insights. When you do, I'll send you a free digital resource that will help you find or create a fulfilling career. Until next time, let's make it a meaningful week.