How To Break Down Communication Barriers | Dr. Tim Newman

In this insightful episode of Fulfilling Work, Meaningful Life with Anthony Craiker, we are joined by Dr. Tim Newman, who shares his deep passion for teaching effective communication. Discover how Dr. Newman overcame his fear of public speaking and learn practical tips to improve your own communication skills. Most importantly, learn the secret to effective communication in any circumstance, including across generational and cultural divides, as Dr. Newman reveals how meaningful connections and strong relationships have the potential to make every significant personal and professional interaction impactful to others.

About Dr. Tim Newman

Dr. Tim Newman is a communication coach, podcast host, and a recovering college professor with over 20 years of experience helping people become powerful communicators. He created The Formula for Public Speaking, a step-by-step system that simplifies the art of speaking, and the Confident Connection Formula, a proven method to craft an elevator pitch that makes people listen, remember, and want to connect.

As the host of the Speaking with Confidence Podcast, Tim helps professionals sharpen their communication skills so they can stand out and succeed. He also brings his passion for sports into his work as a Golfweek Amateur Tour director and host of Golfweek Amateur Tour - The Podcast, where he dives into all things amateur golf, from player interviews to tour insights.

Whether he’s coaching speakers, podcasting, or growing the amateur golf community, Tim’s mission is the same, helping people connect and communicate with confidence, clarity, and impact.

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Connect with Tim:

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**Check Out Tim's Formula for Public Speaking Course:**

 http://www.formulaforpublicspeaking.com/

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Transcript

Tim: [00:00:00] You can't just have good communication for good communication sake and for your own sake. If you're truly interested in other people, it's about them. , you need to get to know who they are.

You know, what, where are they coming from, what are their thoughts? What are they like, what are they not like? What's their belief system? And then be able to truly make that connection with them to, to be able to help 'em. , I don't know that you can truly help somebody if you don't get to know who they are 


Anthony: Have you ever felt like your words just don't seem to land the way you intend Today? I'm thrilled to have Dr. Tim Newman with us, an expert in the art of communication from his early days in the military to becoming a respected college professor. Dr. Newman has transformed his initial dread of public speaking into a passion for helping others communicate effectively.

Tune in as he shares his insights on overcoming communication barriers [00:01:00] and connecting deeply with others. Join us for a conversation that could not only enhance your personal and professional interactions, but also change the way you speak and listen, stay tuned. This is fulfilling work, meaningful life, the show that helps you find and create meaning in the most important aspects of your life. 

All right, Dr. Tim Newman, welcome to Fulfilling Work Meaningful Life. Thanks so much for joining us today. 

Tim: Thank you so much for, , giving me the opportunity to share with you and, and your community. I appreciate it. 

Anthony: Absolutely. So let's just jump right in. Uh, tell us a little bit about your story and how you ended up developing a passion for helping others improve their communication.

Tim: Well, I kinda go back a long way. I'm, I've been, I, I'm kind old. You know, [00:02:00] when I, when I got outta the military, I went to college and, um, you know, when you go to college, one of the classes that everybody has to take is a public, public, public speaking communications course, whatever they call it, you know?

And I looked at syllabus, I said, there's no way I'm doing this. I dropped a class and fast forward to my senior year. My advisor says, Tim, if you want to graduate, you know, you have to take this class. And I'm the master at getting outta something I don't wanna do. I mean, I, I'll find a way to get out and get somebody else to do it, whatever, but there was no way of getting outta this one.

And so I take the class, it is my turn to get up for the very first time and, and give my five minute speech, whatever it was. And you gotta remember now this is, this is back before we, I mean we had computers, but we don't have com. We didn't have computers like we have now. 

Anthony: Right? Right. So, 

Tim: so we didn't have PowerPoint.

I had an overhead projector with, with, uh, transparency slides that were handwritten on. Okay. And I stand up in front of the lectern. I got my notes, I got the, the [00:03:00] transparency's ready to go, and I get ready to start talking. And I threw up right in front of everybody, in front of class and everything. 

Anthony: Oh no.

Yeah. Wow. 

Tim: And, you know, as, as I think back on that, I, I still don't truly understand why I was so nervous. Why, why, why I had such anxiety about it. Because up to that point in my life, so I'm 21, 22 years old, actually, I'm 25 years old. So I've been in the military and, you know, I've been an athlete, you know, I've been, I wouldn't say a spotlight, but you know, leading people was in the military, was leading people.

So I still don't know why I had that anxiety. Right. And I've always wanted to be a teacher, so how are you gonna stand up in front of students and teach if you can't stand up and give, you know, a five minute presentation on something that theoretically, you know, I prepared for 

Anthony: sure. 

Tim: And so I, I, I get over it and I become a college professor and I [00:04:00] knew that, you know, I need help students to be able to do it.

So I just told them what. Prepare, you have to get rid of the uhs and the ums, and, and that was it. And they were, they were bad. And through, throughout my career, they, they kind of got steadily worse. And I'm thinking, you know, I understand that if you can't communicate your ideas, if you can't communicate your thoughts, it doesn't, it doesn't really matter what you know.

It doesn't matter. You know who you're with or what, what you wanna do. If you can't communicate your ideas, you're not gonna be successful. And as I was realizing that I wasn't truly teaching my students that you know how to communicate. And I was failing, and I figured, I figured I, I better, you know, figure out a way, a system to be able to help them become better communicators.

And that's truly what, what started it. 

Anthony: That's great. Now you've taught in different countries and , different cultures. , how have those experiences shaped your approach to teaching communication? 

Tim: You know, it's, that's, that's a good [00:05:00] question because I, I look at it communication from the perspective of, you know, it's, it's truly all about, you know, building connection and building relationships.

And one of the things that I've found is that doesn't really matter where in the world we are. Doesn't really matter which cultures you're interacting with. We're all kind of dealing with the same things. 

Anthony: Mm. 

Tim: We're all dealing with the ideas of people don't listen. We're all dealing with the ideas of, people aren't clear in what they're saying, they're not clear in their messaging.

All those same things. You know, we're or, or when we are listening, we're, we're waiting for the other person to stop talking so that we can respond. So. So the first, my first overseas teaching experience was in Botswana, and that was, that was very, very eye-opening. And , they spoke English or they under, they understood English, you know, fairly well.

And so, so that was [00:06:00] fine. But what I talk fast, and you'll see this as we go, go through this, I think fast and I talk fast and that's, that doesn't really. Bode well for understand, for people to understand if English may, may not necessarily be their, their first language. Right. If we're, if we're talking about topics that are complex, you know, so when I was teaching Botswana, um, I was teaching two very different types of courses.

I was teaching an athlete training course, a basic first aid course, and I was also teaching a sport marketing course. The two very different, you know, types of content and you know, one with, with the basic first aid and athletic train types of things. If, if we don't get things right, it could cause damage.

I mean, people could get hurt, people could die, people could, you know, have serious injury. And so if, if I'm talking fast and they're not understanding it, that's not on them, that's on me to, [00:07:00] to figure out a. Get them to understand, to connect with them, to, uh, make sure that, that they're actually understanding and learning the material that.

Anthony: , that's an interesting point. I've, I've thought a lot about, , this over the years as I've gotten better at communicating and whether it's in my professional life or personal life, and , I think , , there's an important principle, , that we should follow in communicating where if we're the one trying to convey an idea or communicate a point and the other person isn't understanding what we're saying, we need to take responsibility for that, , and try to improve rather than putting that responsibility on the other person.


Tim: You gotta figure out what, whatever way that is. And, you know, sometimes it's slowing down, sometimes it's presenting in a different way. Sometimes it's an analogy, sometimes, maybe there's , another barrier maybe , the other person , is disconnected and now's not the time to actually have that conversation.

[00:08:00] So figuring out what, what that is, and you, you as a person who wants to, to share that information, has to be the person to, um, initiate that change. Absolutely. 

Anthony: Tell us a little bit about your other experience. 'cause you've done some, , sports marketing and social media type stuff. , tell us about that and how that's shaped your, , ideas and thoughts on communication.

Tim: Well, it's, again, I, I come back to everything, to me is about relationships in connections, and. If we can build connections, if we can build relationships that makes communication, you know, so much easier, you know, if, if we can understand where, where each other is coming from you and what they like, what they don't like, and what direction they want to have and so forth.

And specifically when we talk about, you know, sport marketing, public relations, it, it's not rocket science. It, it really isn't. It, it, it's not ethic training. It's not, you know, it's not brain surgery. You know, if you connect with the people that you're talking to. [00:09:00] It's so much easier to get your, your messages across and you know, you hear people say it all the time, you know, people don't buy products.

People don't buy services that they, they buy relationships. They buy people, they buy you. And if, if you, as, as that individual can actually take you sincere approach in getting to know who you're talking to. That is, to me, that's 90% of the battle. That's 90% of of, of getting to the finish line, making the sale, you know, ha having them sign up to, you know, to be a sponsor or, or whatever it is, but believing what you're, what you're telling them from, from the PR perspective.

Um, and, and so it, it's, it's truly, to me, it's about building those relationships. And a lot of times when we, we talk about communication. The, the first thing that comes to mind is somebody speaking, somebody saying words. And I think that's, I think that's probably the wrong approach. [00:10:00] I think the first thing that we need to think about is listening and listening to what the other people want, what, what the other people are saying.

What, you know, what, what, how are they coming across? What do they want to know? What what, what do they wanna learn? And if we can become better listeners. Then we can become better communicators. 'cause we can give the audience exactly what they look. 

Anthony: That reminds me of, um, one of the seven habits from, uh, Dr.

Steven Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, which is seek first to understand, then to be understood. 

Tim: It's, it's so important. And let's take that to, you know, teaching overseas again, right? So Botswana, they kind of spoke English, Thailand, and Malaysia. Very, very little English, and I had had to use a translator.

So, you know, the, the, the translation from me to, to the translator, to the class, from the class, to translator. To me, [00:11:00] you really have to, to listen to make sure that what you're saying is really what you want to communicate and that what they're saying that you truly understand. 'cause it's, it's so easy to get messages crossed in, in, in that instance.

So first off, it's so easy to get messages crossed when it's a one-on-one communication and now you're talking about introducing a third person in, in a different language. 

Anthony: Yeah. , get easy for stuff to get lost in the translation for sure. So, , thinking about, , professional communication, what are , some principles everybody should kind of be aware of and follow, whether it's in an office setting or, uh, just interacting with colleagues

Tim: relationships. Ma making sure that we have, have good, , good relationships with people so that we can have the open and honest communication. And from that point, there, there are a few things that [00:12:00] I th I think are , always important. Number one, it's who, who's your audience? Who, who are you talking to?

Know as much as you possibly can about them. You know, do as much research as you can so that you can really kind of hone in on, on who that, who that person or people are, so that you can better craft your message. To who they are, what they want, what they're looking for, et cetera. And again, on, on that, on that spectrum or continuum of how much do they know about what you're talking about as well?

Anthony: Mm-hmm. 

Tim: You know, , for example, you know, , if you're going into a team meeting and you've got the heads of all the departments around, how much , does the accounts payable know about, , the exact product that you're doing or they just kind of what, what the costs are? How much it cost, how much they, they need to bill for, et cetera.

So, you know, crafting messages so that everybody can understand , exactly what you're talking about and can relate to , what you're saying. 

Anthony: I think that's a great guiding principle, , in any kind of communication is, , what [00:13:00] you're saying about understanding Yeah.

, where, where they're coming from and, , crafting your message to, let's say, . Really get to the point of what you're wanting to say. Um, we've seen over the last couple of decades just a, a, a rapid development in technology that has opened up new channels, new mediums of communication. , we have social media, we have, 

texting and I messaging and video chat. And , now AI is kind of rising up and, uh, everybody's trying to, to get on that, , train and, and learn about it and keep up. . How do those changes over time, , especially in the last couple of decades where it's, where it seems to have evolved really quickly.

, how do we keep up with that and how has that changed the way that we connect? , you know, whether that's professionally or personally, uh, in terms of communicating with one another. 

Tim: You know, there's good and bad in it, you know, all the way around. You know, the good piece is, is that, [00:14:00] you know, we can have conversations like this, which.

Would never have happened, you know, 15 years ago. Right? Sure. I mean, even, even though we had, you know, we had Skype and some other things, this, this, the thought of these types of communications weren't really there. And so that's some of the good things. Um, think about it from a, from a personal level, you know, I've got grandkids now, and I live in South Carolina.

They, they live in Maryland and Pennsylvania, but I get to see them almost every day. Because of these things. And, and, 

Anthony: yeah. 

Tim: You know, I, I just think back to, to my grandparents, you know, where we didn't, when, when we didn't live together. Um, maybe we got a phone call once a week, uh, may, maybe we saw 'em once, once a month, whatever that, that was.

So there, there are some very, very good things about, you know, social media and technology and, and how that's communication. But there's also some, some real downsides to it as well. In that, you know, we lose that, [00:15:00] that human connection. We lose that, that, that human touch of the actual face-to-face conversation.

You know, going up at somebody and shaking their hand and, and, and looking 'em in the eye and take, look 'em in the eye. So like right now I'm looking at you in the camera. 

Anthony: Right, 

Tim: right. And as if I go and start looking over here at this computer screen. All of a sudden now, now we are, we're disconnected.

Right. And so even when, when we're having a face-to-face communication, if I'm not look necessarily looking, looking you in the eye, maybe you don't feel that disconnected because we're standing right next to each other where we're across the room from each other and, and we can still see what, what we're doing.

And we're, we're, we don't, I'm disengaged and truth be told, you know, me looking into the camera has been a big struggle. Because I'm taught to look you in the eye. 

Anthony: Yeah. So 

Tim: when I'm [00:16:00] looking here at the camera, I don't see you , and so , that's a big struggle.

And, , that's a big problem. But I think overall in communication, what technology has done is, especially, you know, , for the younger generations. They've lost the ability or the skills to truly connect with somebody on a personal level. I mean, , it's all through texting, it's all through Snapchatting, TikTok, dances and , those other things.

And, you know, , they really do need to learn how to, maybe, number one, pick up the phone and actually call somebody, not text them. Yeah, learn how to talk on the phone, that, that's number one, but also put that phone down and actually go and have a conversation, a one-on-one conversation with, with somebody, because they've lost the ability to, to have that personal interaction, to truly build those relationships and, and get to know people.

Anthony: Yeah, that's such a great point. , and , I , work with a lot of young people in my church. [00:17:00] Mm-hmm. , and I've got kids, , two, , daughters in college and a son who's gonna be a senior in high school. And that's. Something I've observed, , it is a real challenge that this generation faces.

Covid didn't help it either when everybody was isolated. Right? , that had a real impact. But the ability , to pick up the phone and make a phone call, , to just have a face-to-face conversation, , is something I think people from our generations , take for granted. Right. Right, right.

And, uh, the young people today, they, it's a, it's a real struggle. Um, and I, I've struggled myself, I mean, I've seen it in my own kids. Um, you know, how, how do we help? Them get to the point where they can be effective in their communication and make those personal connections outside of the, the digital world that they're so used to living in.

Tim: Yeah. And, and that's, I think that's the million dollar question outside of, you know, just do it. You force, you know, force them. To do those things. You know, I'm, I'm a recovering college professor [00:18:00] now, so I, I'm not, I don't have to deal with some of those things anymore. But, you know, one of the assignments that I always had them do, it didn't really matter what class it was, they had to do informational interviews with, you know, with within the profession.

And so they actually had to write a, write a professional email, send it off, you know, schedule an appointment and actually go show up and interview this. And that you, you would think that I asked them to, you know, poke their grandmother now, you know, it's like one of the worst things in the world to ask 'em to do.

And they would always ask, well, well, can I just, you know, interview 'em by email? I said, number one, it's not an interview. That's a question answer session. 

Anthony: Yeah. 

Tim: And two, no, because you're, you're missing one of.

It doesn't matter. Again, it, it goes back to me, it doesn't matter what industry you're in, it's all about the network. It's all about , the connections. It's all about the people that you meet and that you build those [00:19:00] relationships. Yeah. And, and email question answer session , does not build any type of relationship whatsoever.

Anthony: I, I'm curious, , as your students, , did those assignments that you would give 'em, , what kind of feedback would you get after the fact? , did you see growth, , in them and , did they appreciate what they were learning? , what were their, , takes on it? 

Tim: So , it was really a, a continuum.

I mean mm-hmm. Obviously, you had the people that, that didn't do it. You had people that, that did it and said, hated it. Had some people. Just kind of grumbled through it some at the time said, you know, thank you so much for having me do it. And then the ones that I truly enjoyed getting the feedback from were the ones were two or three years down the road.

Thank you so much for making me do those things, because they, they were really starting to see the fruits of that labor and why, why that was being done. The skills that they learned, the network that they built, [00:20:00] the connections that they built. And those to me are the ones that, that I could say, yeah. I'm glad that you got it.

It may have taken you a couple years, but I'm glad that you actually, you know, got the point of it. And now, now you can really go forth and, and go do great things. 

Anthony: Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Something about going into the real world, uh, tends to open your eyes to those kinds of things. Yeah. Yes, it does. Well, tell tell us a little bit about your courses.

'cause you, you have a course in public speaking and, and you do some, uh, do you do coaching as well? Or tell, tell us a little bit about what you, what you do is in terms of, uh, helping people with their communication. 

Tim: Yeah, so, so Forum for Public Speaking, uh, course is designed to. It's really designed for the, the young professional who doesn't know where to start.

And, you know, I kind of developed this, especially, you know, from the student perspective, when you give them assignment, um, the first thing that they do is they open up PowerPoint. [00:21:00] And that's, that's never the first thing they do. And, , when one time when a student came back to me and said, you know, you're telling me to stop the OS and the ums, but you're not telling me how.

That's when I kind of really started , to dive into this and really think about, you know, what, what's a simple process that is repeatable for pretty much any type of, of public speaking, you know, again, whether it's on a stage, whether it's face to face and so forth. That's how this came about. But it, the first thing is the audience.

You know, do a deep dive into your audience and then, then you're gonna start looking at the content. Of what you're supposed to be presenting about. And you do gather everything that, that you know, that you wanna talk about. And then you start looking at expectations. You know, the expectations of the audience.

, what do they want out of this, this interaction? If you were hired by somebody, what do they want? What, what do you as a presenter , want out of it? And so forth. And then you take all this information and you put it together in the script. [00:22:00] You know, the scripts, the. Um, the, the, the flow of the flow of that story, you know, the terminology, any type of visual may, maybe now is when you open a PowerPoint maybe, and that's where you develop the, probably one of the most important things is your practice routine because you can't, you know, again, coming from the sport background, no, no team goes into any type of competition without practice and so.

You shouldn't be going up on a, on a stage or going to a team meeting or presenting some information if you haven't actually practiced what, what you wanna talk about. And it's, and you have it down so that you know, you're, you actually are credible and you, and you're giving credible information and not reading off a piece of paper and not reading off slides, and you're actually just having a conversation with people and that, that really comes from practice.

Anthony: Yeah. I love that. Yeah. And I, I appreciate that you, you've, you're not just teaching principles, you're teaching practical application. [00:23:00] Right. Which I think is, is something that a lot of people really need and, and all of us can benefit from, uh, learning about communication 

Tim: and, and, and it's something that, again, can, can be applied in, in really any situation.

You know, you know, take the people that like me, although I don't, I've never seen anybody else throw up before. So, but, but those, those people that have anxiety for whatever reason, whatever reason that is, you know, if you give them a system, a step-by-step system that is repeatable, that, that takes a lot of that anxiety away because you're, you're, you feel prepared and you, and you have that confidence going into it because you've done the work going into it.

And it takes a lot of that anxiety. 

Absolutely. So, , the theme or the idea behind this show is helping others to create a, a fulfilling and meaningful life, whether that's in our professional lives, our, our family personal relationships, , with everything that you've learned over the years, , [00:24:00] as you've studied communication, as you become an expert in the subject, how does improving communication add meaning and purpose to our lives? 

Because , if you truly take an interest in other people and , to me, that's one of the biggest keys. You can't just have good communication for good communication sake and for your own sake. If you're truly interested in other people, it's about them. , you need to get to know who they are.

Tim: You know, what, where are they coming from, what are their thoughts? What are they like, what are they not like? What's their belief system? And then be able to truly make that connection with them to, to be able to help 'em. , I don't know that you can truly help somebody if you don't get to know who they are.

From my perspective, again, I and I, I keep coming back to relationships. 'cause to me it's, it's all about relationships and, and ai, I mean, we can talk about AI all we want, but ultimately, at the end of the day, down the road, we still are gonna have human [00:25:00] interaction. It's still gonna be about people.

People are still gonna be the ones that are driving everything. And you have to have those good relationships. So you have good relationships with people across and doesn't necessarily mean everybody. But you have to be able to communicate with them. You have to be able to get along with them. You have to be able to, to move the ball forward for, for good sake, your, their sake, et cetera.

So it comes back to, to the relationship. 

Anthony: Very good. Well, , where can people find you if they wanna reach out and connect or, , learn about your, your courses? 

Tim: So the, the best place to find me is at, is at the website, and that's tim newman speaks com or on LinkedIn. And it's Newman. I, I, I, I laugh, but, uh, you, you'll see this face.

It's whether, whether you want to or not. Right. 

Anthony: We'll, , we'll drop all your, , links and everything in the show notes , for our audience , to check out. So, , I really enjoyed this conversation. It's been great. Connecting with [00:26:00] you, Tim. , that's one thing I love about, , podcasting is, , it's another way , to connect with people.

, and whether it's doing interviews , or just , a connection that, , an audience fills , with the host or the host fills with the audience. , it's, it's really kind of a special medium and , I really love it. , , any parting words of wisdom, , that you'd like to share, , before we, , end the conversation today?

Tim: Well, Anthony, number one, about podcasting. I 100% agree with you. I have had, , so much fun, being a podcaster, I've learned so much. I, you know, talking to people all over the world and, and it's, again, it comes back to the relationships and the, there's connections and learning, truly learning.

We're all in the same boat and nobody's dealing with things that, that others aren't. And, and we all wanna help.

We wanna help people. You know, that's, that's first and foremost. And I think if, if people can take a step back and take themselves out of it, take their ego out of it and think about, [00:27:00] you know, what can I do to help somebody else? I think we are gonna be so much better. 

Anthony: Wonderful. Thank you so much, , Tim, , for joining us.

It's been , a pleasure. 

Tim: Thanks Anthony. I I really do appreciate it, buddy. 

Anthony: Thanks so much for listening to today's episode. Please remember to check out my website, fulfilling work meaningful life.com to sign up for my monthly newsletter, meaningful Insights. When you do, I'll send you a free digital resource that will help you find or create a fulfilling career. Until next time, let's make it a meaningful week.