5 Ways to Connect with Your Kids in 30 Seconds or Less

Are you struggling to find meaningful moments of connection with your kids? You’re not alone. Between school drop-offs, work deadlines, and never-ending to-do lists, it can feel impossible to carve out quality time — especially when your kids are busy too.

But here’s the truth: meaningful connection doesn’t have to take hours. You don’t need elaborate family activities or perfectly planned moments. What truly matters are the small, intentional choices you make throughout the day—the micro-moments that quietly build your bond and strengthen your relationship over time.

In today’s episode, we’re sharing 5 micro-moments of intention that allow you to connect with your kids in 30 seconds or less—even on your busiest days.

IN 15 MINUTES OR LESS, YOU’LL DISCOVER:

• How the belief that “connection takes time” keeps you from deeper relationships with your kids
• How to get rid of parenting guilt over lack of connection with your kids
• Simple ways to turn everyday moments into lasting memories
• How micro-moments help you feel more present and connected—without adding more to your plate

00:00 Introduction: The Challenge of Connecting with Your Kids
00:49 Juggling Busy Schedules
02:00 The Myth of Needing Big Chunks of Time
03:08 Micro Moment 1: The Power of a Random Hug
07:43 Micro Moment 2: Texting a Photo to Connect
09:09 Micro Moment 3: Letting Your Kid Pick the Music
10:34 Micro Moment 4: Doing a Simple Chore for Your Child
11:58 Micro Moment 5: Praying for Your Kids
13:41 Conclusion: More Micro Moments and Next Episode Preview

When you finish listening, we’d love for you to connect with us on social media!

Follow us on Instagram and like our page on Facebook to keep the conversation going. It’s the best way to get quick tips, encouragement, and resources to help you make time for what matters most—your family.

Get our FREE resource, "30-Second Micro Moments of Intention with Your Kids", by going to: parentsmakingtime.com/freeresource

Parenting is hard. Intentional parenting can seem even harder. Motherhood, fatherhood, marriage, and all that goes with those important aspects of life can make it difficult to prioritize tasks, embrace intentional living, focus on present parenting, and build family bonds. We're here to help ease your parenting anxiety so that you can stop feeling overwhelmed, find joy in your parenting journey, and build family bonds that last for generations. Here at Parents Making Time, we are all about that parent-child connection, self-care for parents, and helping you overcome mom guilt and dad guilt. If you have a question or would like to share an experience about your own parenting, please feel free to reach out to one of us! Please note, we may use your question and/or comments as a part of a Q&A Parenting Advice segment on one of our episodes.

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Transcript

Anthony: [00:00:00] It can be difficult to have meaningful moments of connection with your kids, especially if you are busy and they're busy. It really can seem almost impossible sometimes to find the time to connect, but what we've discovered is it doesn't actually take that long to make meaningful connections. If you're intentional about it, and it can really make a significant impact on your relationship with your kids.

When you are. In today's episode, we're sharing five micro moments of intention that allow you to connect with your kids in 30 seconds or less.

This is parents making time. The show that helps busy parents put family first without burning out. We are Anthony and Jennifer Craiker. We don't just give parenting tips. We help you become the parent you want to be.

Jennifer: All right? So do you remember in 2019 when we had all of our kids in different schools? 

Anthony: Yes. Yes. And I was traveling a lot and you were trying to handle that all by yourself.

Right. 

Jennifer: I remember it very well. [00:01:00] We had our oldest ones in high school. Our second was in middle school and our third was in elementary, and it was just crazy. Our oldest, she didn't have her license yet. I was even doing an online school program and all I felt like I was doing was running from one thing to the next, checking off boxes, making sure everyone got to where they needed to be.

But I really remember being frustrated that we weren't really connecting as a family. We didn't have time for each other as a family. We were just so busy. 

Anthony: Yeah. And that happens a lot with families, right? Especially the older your kids get, the more involved they get. And when you're in a situation like ours where we had three kids in three different schools, it gets chaotic.

Yeah. And so you start thinking that you're so busy that you don't have time to make these meaningful connections with your kids that you so desperately wanna make. 

Jennifer: And I should mention when I say our kids, were in three different schools. Our school district, those three different schools. They taper the time.

So like high school's first, and then an hour later there's elementary and an hour later there's middle. So it's like our front door felt like a revolving door. Just constant [00:02:00] motion. 

Anthony: Yeah. Right. And, and we have this idea in our head that in order to have some kind of meaningful connection with their kid, it requires a significant amount of time, whether it's a couple of hours hanging out.

Together on a Saturday or carving out whole day together or a vacation or something like that. We think in terms of, oh, I've gotta make time for my kids to have these connections. But in reality it doesn't really take all that long if you're intentional about it. 

Jennifer: Yeah, for sure. I think we all start to think that bigger is better, right?

And we forget quality over quantity kind of thing. And so really the consequence of this mistake is guilt. We feel so guilty that we're not able to carve this out because our schedules are so full and it's just eating at us. What Anthony and I have learned over the years is that meaningful connections are more often the small, regular, consistent things that happen in day-to-day life.

Anthony: So today we're gonna share five examples. Five. What we call micro moments of intention with your kids that you can do in like [00:03:00] 30 seconds or less. And these are just a few examples. There's a multitude of these, but these are some that we've done, that we've found work. So the first micro moment of intention is to hug your kid randomly. Now, that might sound like a silly thing, but it, it does make a difference even if you have a kid that's not a hugger and we have two kids that aren't big huggers. 

Jennifer: Definitely two. 

Anthony: Yeah. But we have one that is a big hugger, right? 

Jennifer: Yep, yep. 

Anthony: But as I was thinking about this idea, this micro moment of just kind of hugging your kid randomly, I remembered.

This experience that we had with our youngest many years ago. He's 17 now, but this was back when he was in kindergarten and he, I think it's fair to say that Ethan is his name, he is a pretty strong-willed kid, right? Yes. And when he was in kindergarten, his kindergarten teacher had this one rule in the class, and it was to use "I care" language.

Which [00:04:00] is kind of a funny way to word it, but that was the role you need to use I care language. Meaning that you speak in a way that you care about the other person. So one night we were just kind of hanging out in our living room, all of us together. We were watching a show together and something happened.

I don't remember what it was about, but some sort of disagreement occurred with Ethan and he started arguing with us and it escalated into back talking. And before we know knew it, he was really just getting really, really angry. You could see the redness in his face and yeah, he was starting to get outta control.

So we did what most parents do when they don't know how to handle these things is we, we tried to discipline him and that meant sending him to his room. Well. He marched back to his room, and as he did so you could hear him. I mean, you could literally hear him getting angrier and angrier. Uh, by the time he got to his room, he was [00:05:00] so angry we could hear him throwing toys.

He was crying, he was yelling. So we went back to his room. And by this time he's, I don't know how he, why or how, but he's standing on his bed. 

Jennifer: I can still picture it. 

Anthony: It's humorous now, but in the moment it was Oh, it was not, yeah, it was not very funny. , And so I say in my firm dad voice as if this was gonna be helpful in the moment. Ethan, you are not using I care language. No. Why? That came to my mind, that silly rule. It's not a silly rule, but the It's a good rule. Yeah, it's a good rule. It's just kind of phrased in a funny way, but why that came to my mind in in that moment. I have no idea. I think we were just so desperate to get him to calm down that I thought maybe I'll just remind him of this perfectly reasonable rule that his kindergarten teacher has and he'll settle down. His response was screaming at the top of his lungs. No, you are not using eyecare language. He was, [00:06:00] and he was so mad. He was. You could see the tears flowing from his eyes. It was the biggest tantrum that we'd, and he had, he had some pretty good tantrums when he was in the toddler stages, but like this was like the most angry we had ever seen him before.

And I don't know what came over you or what made you think to do this, but in that moment, Jennifer just hugged him. You just embraced him and within seconds he started to calm down. You could hear the, the crying started to, to mellow out and you could hear the, that kinda, you know, I 

Jennifer: think maybe I was crying at that time too.

You, you probably 

Anthony: were too. I don't, I don't remember. And you could just kind of fill the piece in the room after a few seconds and then there was just silence and then I don't remember how we resolved whatever thing was that he was so mad about, but it probably didn't 

Jennifer: matter. 

Anthony: Yeah, at that point it didn't matter.

He probably had even forgotten by that point what he was upset about. But it was a really powerful moment and it was a [00:07:00] lesson for me that sometimes, actually more often than not, if we're being frank, logic doesn't do much in in those kinds of moments when your kids are upset. Emotions can be tempered and they can feel loved in the moment, and something as simple as a hug can resolve that issue.

Now, that's a really dramatic example of this micro moment of intention of giving your kid a hug randomly. Most of the time that we've done that, it hasn't been a time when they've been upset. It's just a a random, Hey, give them a hug. I love you. Over time those micro moments do make a difference. They do help.

Your kid feel loved. And even when your kid's, not a hugger like a couple of ours, they know that mom and dad really care about them. 

Jennifer: So the next micro moment of intention we wanna talk about is texting a photo that reminds you of your kids. So first of all, I wanna start off by saying like. We have had a few episodes talking about our uses of phones and scrolling and whatnot, but phone use is not all that bad, and it really can [00:08:00] connect us, especially where in our stage of life we have two children outside the home, and so we need to find ways to connect even when they're not here in our home.

We started this. Kind of tradition or thing, and I know many families do it. We have a family group chat, and so each child was added to the chat as they had their own phone, and it's just been this way of having like daily interaction throughout the day, whether they were living at, at home and off doing whatever, or they're gone.

Sometimes we share old memories. Sometimes the kids share old memories and kind of tease each other about it. It's kind of this fun, playful banter. Sometimes I'm in the store and I'll send a picture of something that reminds me of one of them, but last week I got a picture from her oldest daughter of a candle and she said, mom, this smells like you.

And I kind of quipped back. I don't know if that's a compliment or not, but really deep down I felt flattered and knowing there's this strong connection between scent and memories. I loved the idea that she was somewhere thousands of miles away and she smelled a candle and thought, this smells like my mom.

And it really [00:09:00] was warming to my heart. And I know we've done the same thing back and forth, and if it's warming to my heart, I know it is to theirs too. And I just love that connection we've created. 

Anthony: Yeah, that's a great one. Number three is to let your kid pick the music in the car. We've done this a lot over the years since the kids were little, right.

I, I mean, I remember when they were really little listening to like Veggie Tales and things like that, that they wanted to listen to, and then they went through this whole High School Musical phase. 

Jennifer: There was also Frozen. Don't forget it. 

Anthony: Oh, yeah. And the Frozen phase. Can't forget that. That's been kind of a fun thing that we've done, but one way that it's really created a connection for me is with our middle child, Natalie, and it's kind of become a fun thing that she and I do. She loves to share music with me that I've never heard before. We like to spend our drives just kind of jamming out, listening to different genres and artists, and it's gotten to the point where if she and I are gonna be in the car together for any significant length of time, we kind of like [00:10:00] create our own playlists and she wants to know what music I want to share with her, just like she wants to share music with me. And so we'll take turns playing our playlists and sharing songs, introducing each other to songs that we've never heard before. And then we'll talk about the music afterwards and, and critique it, say what we liked, what we didn't like.

And it's led to some really fun conversations. And that all started because we let the kids pick the music sometimes. So it helps you to connect with your kids in kind of a fun and easy way. 

Jennifer: Yeah, and it's something I know she super loves and, and enjoys with you as well. So speaking of that same child, we're gonna stick with Natalie on this one, and the next micro moment is doing a simple chore for your child.

So for this one, you wanna pick and choose when you do it because chores are important, responsibilities are important for kids. So you don't wanna do this all the time, but every once in a while you can help a child. And you might get some really big gratitude back. So Natalie, our second daughter, she was so busy in high school and all of them have been, but I feel like she was especially [00:11:00] busy.

She had a job working Monday through Friday, 20 to 25 hours a week. She was the president of her choir. She was involved in other clubs. She was involved at church. She was an overachiever at school where like you were supposed to take seven classes. She was taking eight or nine at a time. And at times she really did get overwhelmed, and so every so often when I knew she was overwhelmed, I'd pick up something really simple for her, like a simple task that was hers.

Something as simple as moving her laundry from the washing machine to the dryer so that when she got home, her clothes were dry and she didn't have to do that. I always loved when she came home and she'd go right to the laundry room and I'd say, oh, I already moved that for her. And it was like this look on her face and also almost this gasp of surprise in her voice.

And she'd come and gimme this really long hug and just say, thanks, mom. And it gave her five extra minutes to just relax, which she really needed. And so that was just simple, but they meant a lot to her, and she knew that I was always there for her. It was just another way for me to show, I'm on your side.

I'm here for you. I love you. I see that you're trying. 

Anthony: The last micro moment [00:12:00] example that we're gonna share today that we've found to be really meaningful is to pray for your kids. Yeah. And we pray every night as a family before bed, and that's something that we've done since the, the kids were little.

We pray at other times. We pray over meals and things like that too. But our nightly prayer is really important for us as a family. And we pray for the kids by name when you or I, are. Saying the prayer, we pray for them by name, but not just asking, you know, God to bless Bella and Natalie and Ethan, but praying about their specific circumstances.

If they have maybe a test or a, an audition or something like that, we pray for them. We pray for their safety. 

Jennifer: Yeah, and my favorite thing that's come of that recently. So like Anthony said, we pray as a family. We pray individually of course, and pray for our children then, but praying out loud and letting your children hear you, pray for them right now.

Again, we just have our son at home. And so he's hearing us pray for not only him but his sisters. And my favorite thing that has come from [00:13:00] that is his prayers. So, and when it's his turn to say the prayer they may be faster than Anthony and I and shorter, but when he prays for his sisters, he prays for them not just by name.

By specific instances, like he's been praying for his sister about her job and the thing we've been praying about for her job happened. And I noticed when he prayed two nights ago, he gave gratitude that the thing that we'd been praying for it happened. And so seeing that impact him. I know his sisters pray for him.

I, I just think that that has really come full circle to hear our kids pray for each other too. Yeah. 

Anthony: Yeah. It's something that keeps us bonded together as a family and it's, it's really, really special to, to see that and, and experience it. So as we've been talking about these micro moments of intention, you've probably been thinking in your head about some other ideas, things that you can do.

We actually have a list of micro moments of intention that you can do in 30 seconds or less that we would love to share with you. And that includes the five that we've talked about today, but also several other [00:14:00] examples. And this is something you could print out and post where you can see it, or you could save it on your phone.

To refer back to regularly to just help you be more intentional and mindful. And so if you go to our website, parentsmakingtime.com/freeresource, you can put in your email address and we will send you this list of 30-second micro moments of intention with your kids. 

Jennifer: And so while you're at it, if you enjoyed what you heard today, please leave a rating and review wherever you've listened to our podcast, but also share it with a friend so we can help get this message of intentional parenting out to parents everywhere.

Anthony: So next time we're gonna be talking about what happens when you disagree with your spouse about parenting. Disagreeing about parenting with your spouse is a common challenge for a lot of couples, but overcoming that challenge. Doesn't have to be as hard as it sounds. We're gonna be sharing exactly how we've learned to parent without disagreement and without undermining one another.

So [00:15:00] check out that episode next time. And until that time, make time to become the parent you want to be.