Avoid Parent Burnout with this Easy Intentional Parenting Idea

What if the parenting stress you feel isn’t from parenting itself, but from being the only one holding everything together?

So many busy parents fall into the quiet habit of carrying the entire load—the dishes, the laundry, the dog, the clutter, the schedules—while hoping their kids will “just pitch in.” But without clear expectations, kids don’t know how to help, and parents end up exhausted, frustrated, and burned out.

In this episode, we’re sharing simple, practical strategies for teaching responsibility, building teamwork, and creating a strong family culture where everyone contributes. Not through power struggles or punishment, but through clarity, consistency, and intentional parenting practices that help your kids grow in confidence—and help you reclaim time, energy, and peace and stop feeling overwhelmed, avoiding mom guilt and dad guilt in the process. Effective parenting is more than time management; it's life management. 

WHILE LISTENING, YOU’LL LEARN:

• How to clearly communicate household expectations so your kids take ownership without nagging or conflict
• Practical tools like chore rotations, 30-minute cleanups, and predictable routines that boost responsibility and reduce parent burnout and parent anxiety
• How shared chores strengthen family relationships, support healthy time management for busy parents, and create meaningful family traditions

00:00 Introduction
00:28 The Burden of Household Chores
00:41 The Game-Changing Shift: Involving Kids in Chores
01:29 The Mom Rampage
02:17 Setting Clear Expectations
03:17 Effective Chore Strategies
04:46 The 30-Minute Cleanup
06:55 Rotations and Responsibility
09:33 The Family Dog: A Lesson in Responsibility
13:44 Conclusion and Next Episode Sneak Peek

When you finish listening, we’d love for you to connect with us on social media!

Follow us on Instagram and like our page on Facebook to keep the conversation going. It’s the best way to get quick tips, encouragement, and resources to help you make time for what matters most—your family.

Get our FREE resource, "30-Second Micro Moments of Intention with Your Kids", by going to: parentsmakingtime.com/freeresource: 

Parenting is hard. Intentional parenting can seem even harder. Motherhood, fatherhood, marriage, and all that goes with those important aspects of life can make it difficult to prioritize tasks, embrace intentional living, focus on present parenting, and build family bonds. We're here to help ease your parenting anxiety so that you can stop feeling overwhelmed, find joy in your parenting journey, and build family bonds that last for generations. Here at Parents Making Time, we are all about that parent-child connection, self-care for parents, and helping you overcome mom guilt and dad guilt. If you have a question or would like to share an experience about your own parenting, please feel free to reach out to one of us! Please note, we may use your question and/or comments as a part of a Q&A Parenting Advice segment on one of our episodes.

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Transcript

Jennifer: [00:00:00] Hey, before we get started today, I wanna remind you of a free resource that we've created for you. It's called our 30-Second Micro Moments of Intention with Your Kids. This is a list of quick and easy things you can do to have meaningful connection with your kids in about 30 seconds or less. You can get that by going to our website at parentsmakingtime.com/freeresource. Go there today so you can start building lasting memories one micro moment at a time. 

Anthony: If you've ever looked around your house and thought, why am I the only one taking care of this place? You're not alone. So many parents quietly carry the whole load and burnout becomes almost inevitable. Today we're talking about a game changing shift. Inviting your kids into the work of running the home, not as a punishment, not as a power struggle, but as a way to build responsibility, confidence, teamwork, and to avoid parent burnout.

This is [00:01:00] Parents Making Time. The show that helps busy parents put family first without burning out. 

Jennifer: We are Anthony and Jennifer Craiker. We don't just give parenting tips. We help you become the parent you want to be.

Taking care of a household and all that comes with it can be really difficult, especially when kids are involved. There are more things out of your control, like messes and clutter and laundry and grocery shopping and cooking and schedules, you name it. In our house when our kids were younger for a time, there was kind of this unspoken knowledge that mom was cool with things until she wasn't.

And when I wasn't, I think they called that the mom rampage. That would mean the house would be cluttered, totally cluttered and very lived in for several days without me seeming to care. And then one day I would just snap and everyone had to stop what they were doing right then and fix it, except it never truly fixed the real problem.

And this went on for some time until Anthony finally [00:02:00] pointed out that the issue wasn't about our kids not helping. It was that we weren't requiring it regularly. We weren't expecting it. Out loud. We were expecting it in our minds, but we hadn't done anything outwardly to tell them that we required it or needed them to participate.

Anthony: Yeah. The mistake was that in not requiring it, we had expectations of them that we didn't clearly express to them. 

Jennifer: Yeah. But we also didn't require it because we mistakenly held onto that belief that it was our responsibility, and I'm the queen of making excuses for our kids, right? They've had a long week, they're busy, they're tired.

I even did it today or last night. Yes, you did. But I would never make those excuses for myself. And then like the consequence of me making excuses for our kids and not requiring them to do things is. Burnout on us. It's disorganization, 

Anthony: right? And another consequence is that you have children without confidence that lack a sense [00:03:00] of responsibility.

AKA, they're entitled. Or they lack, connection, to the family. There's a lack of connection as a team or a family unit to accomplishing the goals that need to be accomplished. For sure. So the important thing to do. What we found the important thing to do is to clearly set expectations, and there are several simple tactics for getting everyone involved in the chores and the running of the household, and , we will share some of those that we've done.

Yeah. With our family. Yeah. 

Jennifer: We're gonna share some of those that. Have worked for us. So we've done the chore charts, right. Put the sticker, on the refrigerator and everyone gets it done. We've done the rewards for the chart chore charts. You do your reward or you do your chores all week and you get ice cream at the end of the week.

Those are pretty common ones. 

Anthony: And, they work for a season. Right? Right. They're not necessarily gonna work forever, but for a time they can be helpful. And 

Jennifer: I actually think that's key for like all of these things, right? Like. It's kind of a key for parenting in general. True, [00:04:00] right? Like things work for a time and you have to become a master at recognizing when it's not working and pivoting and starting over.

Yeah. So other things that we've done is we have assigned cleaning days, and so like it might be a Saturday for a long time saturday was our cleaning day, and so we'd sleep in, we'd get up, we'd have breakfast, but like certain time, maybe it was 10 o'clock, it was time for cleaning, and I'd say, okay.

Here's everyone's assignments. We used to have a whiteboard, we'd write it on or a piece of paper. Everyone would have their specific assignments and you'd go and do. And the idea was that if everyone did their specific assignments, the whole house could get clean in one day. We did a lot of times have one child that took a lot longer to do their chores.

I will say that 

Anthony: he will remain nameless. 

Jennifer: Oh goodness. . So we also used to do something I called the 30 minute cleanup. So this would be more like midweek. In fact, at one point we would even do this before school. Because I'm an early riser, I taught my kids to be early risers. So there was a lot of time where we [00:05:00] had a 30 minute time period before school where we weren't doing anything.

And I'd say, okay, we're gonna do a 30 minute clean. I'd get everybody one chore to do. And then. The first thing that I would tell them to do is, we're gonna declutter everyone, put everything away, and then you do this. You know, I'd give a different chore to each child and myself, and I'd say, we're setting the timer for 30 minutes, and whatever we get done in 30 minutes is what we do today.

Anthony: Yeah. That's a really effective tool. I think it's been really effective for our family. The 30 minute cleanup, I still use it for myself. Yeah. Right, right, right, right. Yeah. And. It helps the child because they know there's an end in sight. They know, okay, 30 minutes, that's about how long it takes to watch a Disney show or something.

Right, right. And they have specific tasks or there's specific clutter that they need to clean up, whatever it is. You can get a lot done in 30 minutes when everybody pitches in and is focused during that time period. And so I, I think that's a really useful way to do it. Even as the kids get older, right?

Yeah. And we had, we've had teenagers that leave [00:06:00] their crap all over the place. Socks all over the place, shoes all over the place. Socks 

Jennifer: is a big one in our house. Yeah. 

Anthony: And so those 30 minute time periods, you know, once or twice a week or whatever can be really helpful to just get the house feeling a little nicer and cleaner, and teach the importance of pitching in, and then take the burden off of you as the parent of feeling like you have to do all of this stuff to keep the house, in a, in a generally habitable condition.

Jennifer: Right. And I mean, walking back into your house, it's a little. Clean is so much nicer than walking into all the clutter and thinking I have to do all this. I have to solve this problem. But what I found in doing those 30 minutes is the kids got so much done. 'cause they got so motivated they were racing.

Yeah. And then if like one finished, then they would start helping the other. And you just got so much done. It was a really good tool. For a long time. I need them all to come back and do it with me. 

Anthony: Yeah. We've done rotations too of cleaning assignments, walking the dog, [00:07:00] rotations, taking him out.

That's a big one. 

Jennifer: And it doesn't always go super well. We've had to have family meetings like, we're gonna sit down and we're gonna write this rotation. 

Anthony: Yeah. 

Jennifer: Because when we would say, just take turns, then they would argue. But it's not my turns and, but I did it yesterday, but, so we had to literally write it down.

Anthony: Yeah. I had, you know, it's bad when you get to the point where you have to put it in writing so everybody can refer to it. So 

Jennifer: nobody can argue that it's not their day, it's in writing. But one of the things too, in putting it in writing is we taught them that it's their responsibility and if they can't fulfill it, so say they're assigned to walk on Wednesday, but they have to stay after school and they're not gonna be home to walk it.

Well, they're not just supposed to not walk the dog. Right, right. They're supposed to say, Hey dad, I can't walk the dog. Can you walk him for me? Yeah. Actually, they shouldn't ask you. They should ask their sibling, but 

Anthony: Right. Or at, that's the principal. Or at least go to their sibling first. Right, right. I mean, certainly we've walked the dog before.

Right. Plenty of times. But, yeah. [00:08:00] And, and that, I wouldn't say that that works perfectly. Like we, we've had to remind the kids like, Hey, you had this chore assignment yesterday and. We understand why you didn't get it done because you were busy with extracurriculars or whatever, but it's your responsibility to get somebody to do that.

For you to trade days or whatever. Or to plan 

Jennifer: ahead. 

Anthony: To plan ahead. Yeah. 

Jennifer: You know, when you're busy, 

Anthony: that does take a little more effort as a parent, but you're also teaching them the importance of taking responsibility for their assignments. And that's gonna be helpful when they get out into the real world, have jobs and things like 

Jennifer: that.

Yeah. 'cause for sure when they become adults themselves, the laundry doesn't, like if laundry day is Monday and you're busy Monday, like the laundry still has to get done. Yeah. You still have to figure out how to fit it into your day. So we might as well start figuring that out. Now, one of the phrases, and what's funny to me is I feel like I said it all the time when the kids were younger and.

They'll say, I don't remember you saying this, but I know I did. I would say if everyone does a [00:09:00] little, no one does a lot. 

Anthony: Yeah. 

Jennifer: So the idea was if everyone pitches in, the work will get done and no one gets burnt out by it. 

Anthony: Yeah. And, and it's, I, I can attest to the fact that you did say that and have said that frequently throughout their

childhood. 

Jennifer: I hope our kids listen to that. Yeah. I don't think they listen to this show. No, I don't. Maybe they shouldn't. Yeah. 

Anthony: So this approach works, of getting your kids involved and being really clear and direct and specific about what their assignments and responsibilities are and when they need to get them done.

Our kids for years when they were younger, asked for a dog, and I think a lot of kids make this request, understandably so, because dogs are amazing creatures. They're great pets, but I grew up with dogs and I understood how much work a dog can require, right? It's easy to think about how fun a dog will be to play with and to pet [00:10:00] and to love on, but you don't think about like the other stuff, like having to take them out for walks and cleaning up their.

What? They're a mess. They're mess. They're a mess. Um, just call it a mess. Bathing them, cleaning up the hair that gets all over the place. So I was resistant because I thought if we're gonna get a dog the kids need to be old enough to take on the responsibility, especially when they were really young and I was traveling a lot with work, and I mean, that would've been a disaster if we'd had a dog.

Right? Because it would've been all me. Yeah. You would've been the caretaker of the dog 85, 90% of the time. Right. And the kids just weren't old enough. They weren't mature enough, but. As luck would have it, or maybe Providence, by the time they were kinda getting to that age where they could take on the responsibility of having a dog, we had the opportunity to, get a dog from some good friends of ours who were [00:11:00] trying to find a home for a dog, for, the one of their

daughters had and she wasn't able to take care of him anymore. And so we met Elvis, our dog, he's a hound dog. I'm looking at him right now. He's laying in his bed , in my office where he will often sleep during the day while I work. He 

Jennifer: does this. All the time. He is doing what he always does.

He 

Anthony: is filling the measure of his creation by doing absolutely nothing. He's an extremely lazy dog, but we love him so, so much and he's become a part of our family. But when we got Elvis. We told the kids, okay, here's what's gonna happen. You guys are responsible for caring for him. You're responsible for taking him out regularly.

And we don't have a, we have a nice backyard, but it's not fenced in. And he's the type of dog that if he's. Not on a leash. He's gonna go, he's a runner. He's runner. He's a runner. Yeah. And so he has to be walked, he has to be taken out and walked. [00:12:00] Not just to get exercise, but so he can do his, do his duty right?

Yeah. Um, you need to feed him, make sure there's food and water in the bowl regularly. You need to bathe him, make sure he stays clean and. To their credit, I think they have generally done really well with those assignments that we gave them. There have been times where they weren't doing so well or there would be complaints about 'em, oh, I don't wanna do it, or I did it yesterday.

That kind of thing. Yes. Lots of fighting over who did it. The day before and whose turn it was. But , those are normal things nor normal moments of contention in a family. And, you know, you have to make corrections and, point out that they're not following through on the responsibility and then they'd get back on track.

But Elvis is a beloved member of our family. And now, even though we. Just the one child left at home he takes his responsibility seriously. He takes care of Elvis when he's supposed to. Jen and I do a lot more now taking care of him because it's [00:13:00] just the three of us and our girls aren't living at home anymore.

And then when Ethan leaves. We'll ultimately be left with the responsibility. Jen and I have caring for Elvis, which is fine 'cause we love him. , He's getting older, he is slowing down, but he's a great dog. But, that's an example of how, when everybody does a little, nobody does a lot.

And you can really enjoy the experience of making sure the house is running well and having a clean home if you have a pet, making sure that you're enjoying the experience of having a pet so that nobody takes on the stress a hundred percent, of doing all of those things that need to get done.

Jennifer: Yeah, for sure. For sure. He's definitely been a blessing in our home. So if you enjoyed what you heard today and you got some things out of these tips that we've shared about helping get your kids involved in chores, please leave a review and a rating and share it with a friend that you think could also use this advice.

We'd love if you did that.

Anthony: Now before we wrap up, here's a sneak [00:14:00] peek. At our next episode, we're gonna be taking on a big idea. What if balance in parenting isn't real? We hear it all the time. Find balance. You need more balance. Work-life balance is the goal. But what if chasing balance is actually what's leaving us stressed and feeling behind?

Next time we're gonna explore why balance might be a myth. And what to pursue instead, so that family life feels lighter and more joyful. You don't wanna miss that episode until next time, make time to become the parent you want to be.