Ep. 35 Menopause-the finale

We explore the journey of menopause-its symptoms and the emotional impact of understanding/preparing for it. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Be On It, episode 35.

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Hey Jessica, what's going on in the beehive today?

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Hi, Debbie. We talked about perimenopause in our last episode, so I thought we should just talk about menopause, the next step after uh perimenopause. According to Webster's dictionary, it is the natural cessation of menstruation that usually occurs between the ages of 45 to 55.

SPEAKER_01 0:22

Yeah, I mean, when you look at the word menopause, a pause in menopause in our menstruation. And it comes with changes.

SPEAKER_00 0:33

It has side effects. Yeah. And of course, there's going to be different circumstances where people may go into menopause earlier, which is a whole other set of complications when you go into menopause early. If you have a hysterectomy, or if you're immune compromised, cancers, all those sorts of things, you could be put into menopause sooner. So those come with complications as well. But yeah, I just I thought, you know, this word menopause, you know, or or sometimes called the change of life. You know, according to this article I was reading in um www.healthharvard.education, written by Howard and Lewin, he talks about menopause and perimenopause. He says a woman is said to be a menopause after she has gone for one full year without periods. That's a whole long time to be without a period.

SPEAKER_01 1:26

Yeah. I mean, the permanence of it all. There's no, there's no going back after after menopause. You you don't, there's no reversing it, so to speak. No, no. It's it's permanent.

SPEAKER_00 1:38

You know, for me, I don't know how I'm gonna feel when that happens because I think there's this finality that you can't bear children anymore. I don't know. Will I be happy? I mean, part of me will be happy, but part of me will be kind of sad because that chapter of my life is over.

SPEAKER_01 1:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:53

How how do you think you're gonna feel?

SPEAKER_01 1:55

Well, I mean, I have been been feeling a little bit melancholy about the whole thing because I'm in perimenopause right now. And, you know, it just makes me realize that the body does things um slowly under normal conditions. And and I think about the body, the body's currency is like time and process. Um, I feel like menopause is a process too, because it comes with um all these symptoms. I anticipate that it's gonna happen in the next, you know, within the next 10 years. Um I think I just need to be mentally ready for it when when these sort of bodily changes occur.

SPEAKER_00 2:34

I agree with you. And it's funny because it kind of sneaks up on you. It's never all at once, it's just little things you start to notice. And it does give you a chance to deal with it slowly but surely. I'm starting to notice even more changes at 50 than at 30 to 45. Symptoms are of menopause are very similar to perimenopause. Some women don't even have symptoms during menopause or only have a few symptoms. Others develop disturbing and more severe symptoms. And studies of women around the world suggest that differences in lifestyle and diet and activity may play a role in the severity and the type of symptoms that women have. The key thing that we've learned throughout life is that diet and lifestyle is so important to your health. And I wanted to highlight some of the symptoms during menopause. We've talked about it in the perimenopause episode, but there are very similar similar things that happen, cognitive changes, mood disturbances. I just remember feeling really down. And what happens is our estrogen levels drop. I think it's worth taking a good multivitamin, making sure that, you know, when you go to the doctor, you're talking about what's going on with your body because they're able to run tests to see if you're deficient in things like vitamin D. When you live in the Pacific Northwest, most certainly vitamin D is uh is you know key. Yeah, I'm always like we don't get enough sun. And and enough sun is what, you know, is a part of treatment of perimenopause and menopause and your mood, urinary urgency. I've noticed that 3 a.m. wake-up call, you have to go to the bathroom if you drink too much water after a certain time. Oh, yeah, that happens. Hot flashes. Some women, it's gonna be worse than others. I just noticed at work, it's funny because our heat system is a little wonky and night shift freezes. We come on on days and we're like, whoa, we're all sweating. I'm like, this must be what a hot flash is like because I need to cool down. We have fans going. I'm like, okay, it's really bad in the summertime. We're all laughing. That's a group of women of all different ages, and we're all experiencing it together and we're just laughing about it. So they say to layer up when you're having hot flashes. That way you can take clothes, you know, your some layers off. And if you get cold, you can add more layers. So that's always a good thing to keep in mind. But sleep problems, that's a big one. I that's been a big problem for me all my life, but um, it gets worse as you get older and get into perimenopause and menopause. And of course, that affects your mental health when you're not getting enough sleep. And, you know, then we have the old osteoporosis, our bones become more brittle. So, you know, taking calcium is gonna be beneficial. And diet and exercise, you know, you know, for me, this this other key one that people don't talk about as much because it's kind of, you know, personal is inflammation of the vaginal walls due to reduced estrogen. It's often called voval vaginal atrophy. So because we're losing estrogen, you might experience dryness, burning, pain during intercourse, light bleeding after sexual intercourse. That's a big deal. And low libido. Or maybe you might go into overdrive and you're like, whoa, what's going on? It's all because of the hormone changes throughout your body. So bringing it up to your doctor is really important because there's treatment for that. I want to really emphasize lifestyle can really affect how severe your symptoms of menopause can be. Diet and exercise can reduce symptoms as well as complications of menopause. There's some serious complications of menopause. And especially if you go in to menopause earlier than 45 to 50 or 55, high cholesterol, that's a big one. Yeah. Which then can lead to, you know, your arteries being more clogged, high blood pressure. If you're diabetic, these are going to be more severe. You know, the osteoporosis comes up again, your mental health, all of these things are intertwined. You know, just a few changes you make will really help with your symptoms. You know, limiting caffeine. That's a big thing because we all like caffeine. We drink our coffees. Maybe instead of like having three cups of coffee a day, you cut back and do one. Refrain from smoking. If you're a smoker, it's a good time to quit so that you feel better and less symptomatic. Right. And get rest as best as you can. But I think that's I used to wonder why my grandma would take a midday nap. Now I understand why. Really?

SPEAKER_01 7:20

Well, I feel like you'll nap if you need to, but I feel like if I nap, then that'll wreck things for bedtime. Oh, I will be tired.

SPEAKER_00 7:28

But I mean, if you need to, you need to. Right. If I feel tired and I nod off, sure. It's funny because other countries close everything down in some cities and they actually they call it like siesta. There's some other names too, where they um just rest. And I I'm all for that. Like, and they do it with kids in school too. Like, yeah, you can rest, you can um have a moment or an hour to just think about things, but we're not gonna do anything, we're not gonna study, we're just gonna rest. I think that's important. It's a it's a pause, it's a reset, that refreshes your brain. So I think those are all key, you know, things that you can do. And and if you're not active, and you're whatever you can do, there's there's there's all sorts of things you can do with your lifestyle and diet.

SPEAKER_01 8:18

If you haven't already, but I mean you haven't already, yeah. There's a good time to start.

SPEAKER_00 8:22

It's a good time to start. And there's so many great exercises out there for people that are wheelchair bound or chair exercises if you're limited or swimming or whatever it may be. Just one small step and one small change can really make a difference. I noticed that with me too. When I'm walking or I'm more active, I most certainly mentally feel better and physically feel better, less achy. That's all a part of like the perimenopause, menopause. There's so many symptoms that it's hard to even list them all because it's going to be different for everybody. It comes along with all sorts of symptoms and and they just sneak up one at a time.

SPEAKER_01 9:00

Having this conversation helps you not to ruminate on on those symptoms because then you know why you're having them if you're in this age group and if all if all paths lead to perimenopause or menopause. And definitely if you have this cessation of your your menstruation for a long period of time, you you definitely know you're in that stage. You know your kitchen table. I usually I usually sit in the same spot. Me too. Okay. As we are going through this process of perimenopause and the finality of of our reproductive capabilities, which is menopause. Um, it's almost like you're sitting in a different seat at the table. And if you've ever done that, it's really interesting because you have a whole different perspective. It's very true that you, yeah, that's a good analogy. I like that. I'm sitting in a different spot than I normally ever sit because I'm usually in this one spot that's closest to the kitchen. So when I sit in this other spot, I just feel way different. So it's just like sitting at a different seat at the table. And hopefully it'll make me feel maybe more calm or more at ease. That's my hope. I know that you know, you have all these changes with your hormones, which will affect um mood and can lead to depression. I'm hopeful that it'll make me put me more at ease, is what I'm hoping. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 10:24

I think when you know what to expect, anything that's out of the norm, you can discuss with your doctor. It's good to discuss with your doctor about all these changes anyway, because there's so many great treatments out there these days, besides lifestyle and diet change and exercise. And we'll talk about that in our next episode too, because I think it's worth talking about. What do you do? I like to think of it as like when we're younger, we're this like rosebud. As we start to get older, it starts to open a little bit more. I like to think that at the age of menopause, we're fully blossomed and we're at our our most mature and our most beautiful. We don't we don't have youth anymore, but we've have wisdom. We like to think of it as we have taken all our life experience and this is this is the outcome. It's beautiful in a lot of ways.

SPEAKER_01 11:12

Well, I thought of it a little differently than you. When I thought about menopause, I thought about I thought about the flower um after the petals have fallen off, and you know, it's dried up because you know after a a flower blooms, it's dry, it's not as moist. The petals could have all fallen off, or there might be just one or two left and they're kind of crispy. Yeah. But you know what's left is the core. The core is still there. The core is kind of hidden because you know you're kind of just enamored by the leaves and the petals. What is within the core are seeds for next year's right season of life. And so what I thought about was like, okay, the legacy building. Right. You know, right.

SPEAKER_00 11:59

It's a next chapter in your life. Usually your kids are grown. They might just start, they might start to have kids. You're gonna be a grandparent. It's it's this beautiful next chapter that is unknown. You haven't experienced it. You had a grandparent, and they, you know, you know that was joyful to have time with your grandparent. And and if you even don't become a grandparent, you have a little bit more freedom to travel, or you may get to retire and you might get to enjoy like the everyday, you know, relaxing and could you not have a schedule. I look forward to waking up leisurely and having my own agenda and my own schedule. And if I want to travel or be spontaneous, it can do that. But you can't do that if you don't make sure that your health optimal. Yeah, you want to be in the optimal condition. Right. And so I just I keep coming back to that because more of a message for myself that same here. If you want to feel less symptomatic and stronger, make sure that what you eat and your lifestyle is aligned so that you feel your best self. When you have all of that in in place, you just feel good mentally.

SPEAKER_01 13:13

And to go along with what you said, you can save the core and save those seeds for next year's plantings, or you can discard them. I feel like it's at the age where um you're kind of um investing in other people too, investing in uh the the up-and-coming generation and passing all of that goodness along, like wisdom, experience, encouragement. I hope that's where I'll be and and and not be in a stage of like having a midlife crisis. I think we all have it to a certain degree. I think you go through it. Another thing I that came to mind was growing old gracefully. Yes. Cause we hear that a lot, right? We hear it. That's a very common terminology. I think that it's that phase of life where hopefully because the word permanence really um is highlighted in this this process of menopause. But along with that, I mean hopefully have some stability and endurance and continuity. Those are the things that you can take advantage of. And here's another thing too, that when we're going through physical changes that are painful and uncomfortable, surely we can complain about it. And I complain about certain things that I'm going through physically because it it's painful and uncomfortable and I want it to just go away. But I think another thing that um we need to realize is that when you're dealing with a pain point or multiple things going on at the same time, it's a good thing to to like first of all, just accept and embrace it. And the second second thing is to take care of it. Like if something's painful, take care of it. Like if I have a cut on my foot, I could just be annoyed with it, or I can get a nice band-aid and put some um neosporin on it and and take care of my wound.

SPEAKER_00 14:59

Right. You can't ignore symptoms because they just become worse. You have to address it. We can't go through life ignoring every little thing because that just gets us nowhere. It's good to face it and know what you're working with and ask for help when you need to ask for help. There's so much great support out there, too. It's it's been such a stigma where we don't talk about that sort of thing. You don't talk about your periods, you don't talk about perimenopause, you don't talk about menopause. Well, now there's a whole musical about menopause. So it's really about. Yeah. It's called menopause the musical. Oh, okay. It's pretty yeah, it's about these women that meet at a lingerie store, I think is what it is. They like have you're having all these like hot flashes and symptoms, and it's a comedy. Community. You have a community, and somebody that's going through it and understanding it. For those that are younger, they're seeing how you're handling things and aging gracefully. And you know, you start to notice signs of aging. You you notice wrinkles, you notice frown lines, you notice your skin isn't as plump. There's so many things that you can do. Gray hairs, gray hairs. Yeah. Your vision changes. Your vision definitely changes. You need readers. You can't see that small print anymore. All these different changes that even men go through, it just looks a little different because they don't have periods, obviously. But we all have adjustments in like, like you were saying, a midlife crisis. You have an adjustment to this new time in your life. It's new, it's a process, and you get through it.

SPEAKER_01 16:32

And you know, how are you gonna come out the other end? Is another thing. Right. You know, you can come out the other end in a in a positive way. While I was doing research, I I'll use this other term that I saw online. We'll talk about next next episode is the meno plan. Oh, okay. I like that. Let's come up with a meno plan. Mino plan. Okay. I love it. Yeah. But you know, we we don't have to start when we have menopause.

SPEAKER_00 16:58

We can start now. It's good to start implementing these things now. Now, even if you're young, doing these things are just gonna set you up for success later in life. On our next episode, we'll talk about some of those treatments and things that you can do. So if you like what we're all about, join us next time. Join us next time. Bye. Bye.

SPEAKER_01 17:21

We are all about community. Join our community by following and subscribing to Be On It through YouTube, Instagram, and of course your podcasting platform so we can continue to bring Be On It to you. Just so you know that we are speaking from our lived experiences and are not licensed therapists.