EP 199 - Reclaiming authority in your business as you grow. Ft Gab Virgo

There's a moment when you realise you're doing everything in your business, saying yes to every client request, available at all hours, and slowly losing yourself in the process. You tell yourself it's what you need to do to succeed. But what if the thing keeping you stuck isn't your lack of strategy, but your lack of boundaries?

In this deeply personal conversation, Jessica sits down with Gab Virgo, her long-term VA turned OBM, to share the unfiltered truth about what it takes to build a sustainable service-based business. From accidentally deleting her entire Instagram (business page included) to being messaged hours after giving birth, Gab has learned the hard way that boundaries aren't just nice to have, they're the foundation of everything.

This conversation will gut-punch you in the best way if you've ever felt like you had to be available 24/7 to keep clients, if you've struggled with scarcity-driven yes, if you've given away your power to perfectionism or people-pleasing, or if you've been building your business from survival instead of alignment.

Gab shares how implementing firm boundaries actually attracted higher-quality clients, created 100% retention rates for Jessica's mastermind, and allowed her to run a thriving business whilst raising five children and working just two full days a week.

Inside this episode:

• Why accidentally deleting Instagram became the reset Gab's business needed
• How saying yes to everything from survival kept her stuck in a cycle of burnout
• The client who messaged hours after Gab gave birth (and what that taught her about confidence)
• The ripple effect of boundaries: less anxiety, more presence, healthier nervous system
• How strict boundaries actually attracted dream clients instead of repelling them
• What separates 100% client retention from the revolving door most coaches experience
• Why Gab now teaches service providers to stand out through personality, not perfection

This is the episode you return to when you're ready to stop leaking energy through weak boundaries, when you want permission to run your business on your terms, and when you need to hear that putting yourself first isn't selfish, it's strategic.

About Gab Virgo:

Gab Virgo is a mum of five, seasoned Virtual Assistant, and business strategist with nearly 9 years of experience supporting high-level entrepreneurs behind the scenes - from 5-figure startups to 8-figure CEOs.

On a mission to empower women to feel confident in their business, reclaim their time, and actually enjoy building their dreams, Gab helps service-based entrepreneurs design systems, workflows, client experience and strategies that allow them to grow their business while raising their babies and serving their ideal clients.

With a wealth of behind-the-scenes experience, Gab now coaches ambitious women to stop trading time for money, scale sustainably, and create a business that fits their life, not the other way around (and be the ones clients are fighting to hire)

Get In Touch with Gab:

Instagram: @‌virtually_gab

Project Streamline (a free 30 minute strategy call): https://virtuallygabcoaching.com/project-streamline

Free Sxy Systems Channel: https://virtuallygabcoaching.com/sas

Brain, body and business experience for female founders ready for their income to finally match their expertise.

May 25 cohort is enrolling now.

VISIT THE WEBSITE HERE

Ready to go deeper?

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@jessica.read.co

Transcript

1:55

Welcome to Resource with Jessica Reed. This is the podcast for visionary entrepreneurs who are here to build a thriving business and luminous life, fully resourced from the inside out. Here we unlock the magic of inner alignment, emotional mastery, and energetic strategies, so you can lead with clarity, confidence, and ease. This is your space to shed what no longer serves you, embody your highest potential, and expand into the next evolution of your business and soul's work. You are meant for more, and it all starts here. Oh, crazy story. I went to delete my personal Instagram because I felt like I was wasting too much time and energy on the wrong people and it wasn't the feed that made me wake up and feel good about myself. Turns out I deleted my business page as well, so hashtag Good Job Gab. Probably not the best story to tell while I redo my page and try to convince people to hire me as their personal assistant, but I'll promise not to do it to yours. If that is not the best way to introduce our guest today, then I don't know what is. Welcome back to Resourced. It is so good to have you all listening, and I have a very special guest that I am going to formally introduce to you in a moment. I wanna tell you a little bit, first of all, about how we connected. That message that I just read out to you was a post that my long term longtime, uh, virtual assistant turned OBM posted that I saw on Instagram one day. And I went, oh, she's so funny. I was like, oh, she seems cool. She's so funny. And I followed her and I think I reached out and said hi, and, and I followed her. And a few weeks later. I started thinking more and more. It was like seeing that post and connecting with her, planted a seed in my head that, Hey, maybe I could hire an assistant. And then I was like, I'll take my time. I'll look. And then I just went straight back to her and her. I'm talking about Gab Virgo. I'm talking about the person who has been the backbone in my business at the very first person that I hired. My sounding board, my strategic eyes, my customer service in my mastermind, like the way you look after those ladies, we all love you so much. Gab, welcome to the podcast. I'm, I'm so excited to have you here, and so excited to have a conversation with you about so many different things that we're gonna chat about today. The lens of personal growth, your business, maybe a little bit of strategy, like, let's see where the conversation takes us. But first of all, I just wanna say that when I brought Gab into my business, I had a story that I could not afford to hire someone.'cause, you know, my business was quite new at that point in time, and I didn't have the, the excess income to justify, quote unquote bringing someone in to support me. But at the same time, I had absolutely no problem sending my daughter to an extra day of daycare to do all these admin tasks that I really wasn't good at, things that were taking me. So long to do. And so that's when I suddenly realized and I thought, do you know what? I'm just gonna find out what it's gonna cost.'cause I'm the type of person who likes to have all the information. And I remember reaching out to you and I reached out to you because I connected with that very human post like that, you know, Hey, I accidentally deleted my whole Instagram, but I promise I won't do it to you. I was like, oh, I love it. She's so cool. Perfect. Starting point, right? Yeah, exactly. And so I found, I went and found out what it would cost me and realized that it was essentially equivalent to me sending Amelia to another day of daycare to have you do this work in my business every week. And at that point in time, for me, it was about, yeah, getting the tasks that were not in my zone of genius that were taking me far too long, A lot of very basic admin tasks at that point in time, but it just, it just changed everything for me. Like, I know that's probably one of those sentences that a lot of people just kind of say like, oh, I did this and it changed everything. But it really truly did because at that point in time, I got a day back with my daughter until I was ready to put her into care because I had to see clients at that, you know, for that exchange. I got a lot of my energy and my sanity back because of the things and, and then things upleveled because the quality. So what I realized very quickly was the things that I. Was doing, but not in my zone of genius. Yes, they were getting tick box done, but they weren't being done that well. And then you came in and you did the things that I was doing and taking a whole day for, well, you did that in a few hours. And so it just brought me back so much time and so much freedom and so much like leveled up business. And that was just the beginning. Like we have grown together over the last few years and I really, really love that because as my business has needed more depth and more strategy and more funnels and, and launches and, and all of the fun pieces, gab has been there growing with me, growing, learning, implementing, strategizing. So welcome to the podcast. Thank you. I'm so excited. I have so much luck. You, I just, honestly, I, we do, you know, we still haven't met in real life either. I know. Which is insane. And do you know what I have not met, I think I've met one client. Really in my business of my ears. Oh my gosh. Everyone's always interstate, so yeah. Okay, well, which is really, really crazy. If I come up north, then I will absolutely go. Come and say hi. Please do. Can you tell us just a little bit about you and who you are and what you do now? Okay. Yeah. So classic introduction of how we first met. I think that was, I always reflect back to that because I'm like, I just was like, no, screw it. Let's just put it all out there. Put everything on the, on the table. And that's how I came back and, and I'm so glad that I did because I had already been in business as a virtual assistant for a few years before that post. And of course after deleting my account, but when I restarted, I really started to come a bit more into my own and actually be able to deliver who I am and my personality. And like you said, that's how I built the human connection. And from there, my business boomed a lot quicker than what I thought I would. Um, yeah, because I was bringing my personality back because I was more aligned in my business and just bringing me back to life, I guess. But, um, I started my business as a virtual assistant. My sister got me into it. I was literally, uh, transcribing some of her coaching calls one day and she was like, why don't you just do this as a business? Um, and that's kind of how it all started. I had my daughter, she was about, I. I think eight to 10 months old. When I first started my business, I was a very new single mom. Um, my whole family is interstate and the option of daycare was just not, not an option for me at that point in time. Um, and I had a hospitality background, so I, there was no way that I

could be doing 4: 10:14

00 AM finishes with a 10 month old on my own. So, um, that wasn't an option. So at the end of the day, becoming, doing something online, being able to work from home with my daughter was the only option. So I did start my business from survival and needed to somehow provide an income. Um, and yeah, that's how it started. I started transcribing videos back before AI did it all. I was literally sitting there typing, listening, like, thank God for AI now. Right. Um, but yeah, that's how it started. And I literally jumped onto a Facebook group. And put it out to the world, Hey, I'm starting a business. And I literally g gained two or three clients just from that. So I did get clients very, very quickly, um, especially with someone with no experience. I was in uni as well, so I was literally halfway through my uni degree. Um, which, what was your degree? Um, I was doing a bachelor of, uh, human resources. Okay. And then I changed a bachelor of business. Um, so we actually ended up not finishing my Bachelor and we just got an associate degree, um, yeah. A few years later because I was like, this is not what I wanna do. I did not wanna sit in a nine till five in the city every day. It was just not, not the ideal life that was coming. So, yeah, I was doing a lot when I first started, um, and obviously navigating a lot of emotional and personal things that were going on in my life at that time as well. Yeah. Um. So, yeah, it was all the things, but I knew that I just had to, had to be doing something and I always have to have my mind busy or, you know, doing something very intentional. So yeah, that was my starting point. That's where it all began, and I just kept doing that. I remember charging, I think it was $50 an hour to start off with. Mm-hmm. Um, which was quite high back then. Um, this was eight years ago. That was quite high back then. And I, over the, those few years, I started doing a bit of content creation. I started learning how to do Canva. Um, what else was I doing? I remember getting up at two o'clock in the morning to do an email marketing call with someone in the us and then my daughter cracked it halfway through, so then I had to stop the call and go, go to her, and then go back and forth. It was just, it was a lot of learning curves, that's for sure. Mm. Yeah. Um, and. Yeah. So that's kind of where it all began. Mm-hmm. And then fast forward a few years, I was a bit on and off. I was part-time, full-time, part-time, full-time, just navigating all the trenches of single motherhood as my daughter grew up a little bit and all the things. Um, and then, yeah, it came to that point where I accidentally deleted my account 'cause I was like, Hey, I can't focus on scrolling doom, scrolling Instagram all the time. It was becoming more and more addictive and all the things. So yeah, we deleted the personal account. Deleted the business account, and then that was the fresh start. That was the reset we all needed, which was yeah, really good.'cause I was getting myself into this loop of always doing what other people wanted and needed. Yeah. Saying yes to things that they did not wanna be doing. Um, yeah. Which I feel like we all kind of all go through those phases, right? Absolutely. We have to. We have to learn where our boundaries set and yeah. Yeah. Oh, do you know what I just really love about what you shared just then, and I think for anyone listening, this is a really important piece. You jumped in, I'm sure there would've been fear and whatnot, but you jumped in not knowing what it was gonna look like. Not knowing Exactly. It's just like, okay, well I need to create an income for my family. I'm going to do what it takes. Yeah, and I love that because look where it has led you now. A hundred percent. Yeah. Tell us a little bit about who you're working with now and, and what you're actually. What you're actually doing, because you, you have obviously some va you have a VA role, but you, you also work in OBM space, but you now coach people too. So tell us about how it's actually evolved over that time. Mm, yeah. Well, I think, I feel like I've worn a lot of hats. Um, and like I said, I've always gone a bit on and off with my business. Um, like I've had other jobs in between as well. I was a medical assistant at one point. I had to go back to hospitality at one point after meeting my partner. Um, only due to the client work, not having those boundaries set in place and then, you know, kind of falling apart, getting back up again, falling apart, getting back up. So it's been a really big up and down, but. Over the years, I wore a lot of different hats. I'd been doing email marketing, I'd been doing web design, graphic design. I'd been doing social media, um, blog writing. I was blog writing for an education company at one point, which was bizarre. Um, and And this was before ai, right? Yeah, yeah, before this was when I nearly like, I just had to make that definition because blog writing then versus blog writing now is every different No, I was sitting, sitting there writing I blogs. You have to actually write. Yes. Yeah. Um, yeah. So I was doing a lot of different things and it got to a point where I was like, I'm not just an assistant anymore. I'm not just checking up someone's to-do list, which yes, I still do to a point, but I realized, I was like, I have so much more value to give than just. Checking off a to do list in, you know, in the Trello board or whatever, you know, is on for notepad, whatever. Um, and so that's why I kind of started stepping a bit into more of a OBM into a more of a leadership role because obviously with so much experience working with all these different people in different industries, like I, I've worked with beauty specialists, hairdressers mindset, uh, business coaches, um, copywriters, oh gosh, whoever. I've worked with so many different industries that I've even worked for builders and things like that, that I was like, I've seen so many different strategies behind the scenes. Like I've seen so many things fail and so many things succeed. Yeah, I was just gonna say, you would've, you would've seen not only a lot of different strategies, but you would've seen a lot of what's working and what's not working too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that, and because I was working with so many different industries,'cause I had never been so focused on, okay, I have to work with this specific person, that I was really able to pull a lot of those different strategies and be like, okay, this works for this person. It's not gonna work for that person. The same sense, but you can definitely pull those different variations. And that's like what I found kind of really like set me different to what everyone else was doing. Mm-hmm. Um, and allowed me to step into that leadership role. Mm-hmm. Um, and yeah, like I, I've seen businesses flop as well and I've seen businesses hit millions of dollars. So I've seen a lot of different perspectives. Um. And that's what kind of stepped me into more of the OBM and the leadership role and actually being able to share my opinion because it got to a point where it's like, okay, people actually value my opinion now because of what I have experienced. And it took me a really long time to get to that and to be able to share that as well. Um, yeah, because you know, a lot of people do just see an assistant as an assistant of someone who's gonna go run their errands or, you know, so that identity shift took me a really long time to be like, okay, you're allowed to be an assistant, but you are also so much more than that. Um, I love that you're talking about the pivot and then the, and the identity shift.'cause I've just had, I've had two podcast conversations today, um, with, with different guests. Um. Actually I've, I've literally had eight guests in total, did I two, two with four, two, like with four panels each. Mm-hmm. And, and everything, particularly in the first one was talking so much about pivots, rebirths, um, identity, identity deaths, but also that ability to be able, and we actually talked about this a lot in the last one that I just did, that ability to be able to be really authentically expressed. And in that, that comes with starting to learn to feel safe, to be seen and known for, and share your opinions. And one of the questions I was just asked in the last episode was how do you, um, oh, what was it like, what do you do when you're kind of in that like heavy burn it all down kind of energy? And they said, well, everything that I see people in that space is because either their identity has shifted and their business hasn't caught up yet because they're either not allowing it to pivot or they don't have that awareness, or their business has shifted and their identity actually has to come and catch up to that. And so what I'm hearing with yours is that your identity over this time as, as you've learned more, as you've seen more, but also as you've started to come back more to yourself, I assume, you know, as, as those earlier years of motherhood with your daughter and things also kind of, you know, as the hormones settled and all the things that we go through as, as, um, postpartum moms. As you start to reconnect with and remember who you are and make your mistakes and do all your learnings and see, like I'm hearing that you are there going, I'm actually like really good at what I do and I have so much value to add. And now I'm going to learn how to own that. Yeah. And it definitely took a really long time to own that. Yeah. It's a journey. It's 100s a journey. Yeah. But now, now let's just point out that then there is that like time, time gap, that then now you've got to that point where you've got this identity that you now know what you wanna lead from and your business is in the pivot to catching up to that. Mm. Yeah. Yeah. Because the, the, the OBM, that's the first piece of the pivot, the coaching and now stepping into this level of leadership, uh, next level of leadership. Mm-hmm. To say, Hey, I can actually mentor you in your business. Yeah, I can, I can be your strategist. Like that. That in itself is your business catching up to your new identity. A hundred percent. And I feel like it had always somewhat been in the background that that's what I wanna be doing for the last few years. But, um, like obviously I've, I've had another child since then, he's now just over two. So going through that identity shift again, somewhat postpartum, did kind of rock it a little bit. I was very ready before he was born to step into that role. And I didn't go backwards, but I just paused. Yeah. Um, and I was in this zone of, it'll happen when, when the time's right or, you know, once I've gotten past this, past this stage, or et cetera, et cetera, I was kind of waiting for something to yell at me and be like, okay, now's the time. But it didn't, and that was Lynn myself. That was my own, I'm like, okay, I need to step into this myself. Mm. Um, I know I'm good at what I do and I wish I had someone who had been through what I had been to be like, okay, this is how you stand out. This is how you get incredible clients. Mm-hmm. And, you know, referrals and things like that. Mm-hmm. By having that little bit of that different differentiation of, of everyone else in the industry.'cause it, it's so many assistants and OBMs at the moment. It is hard to stand out, it's hard to get clients. And I just had to Yeah. Step into that role of be like, okay, I'm gonna be that person for people. I want people to know that what's possible. Like, I've got now five beautiful children in my big blended family, and I technically only really at my desk two full days a week. And I'm able to support incredible clients and now teach others how to do the same thing as well. So. Yeah. Lots of exciting things happening. It did take me a long time. It's been a really long road, but I'm all for, everything happens for a reason. There's so many different learning opportunities that we've had along that, that those eight years. Do you know, I, I think you've heard me say this before, I'm sure, but I deeply, deeply believe that every challenge, everything that we face. Is an opportunity for us to take a step into our next level identity. Yeah. And so we have to have those challenges. We have to have those growth moments. We have to have the pauses because the season of life as well, we, we literally were just saying before like, we're not robots. Mm. We can't, we can't just be on and go like, even as a generator, you, you're not just going all the time. Like you, you need to have the consistent energy for something that lights you up. And Yeah. If you are trying to really pull in what that is and trying to initiate what that's gonna be, then all you're gonna do is end up creating something completely misaligned. Whereas trusting that you will have the energy for what is right when it comes. Mm-hmm. Like that is, is such an important piece. Mm-hmm. I wanna ask you, you said that throughout the journey, and I just really wanna talk about this because emotional resilience is one of those things that, you know, I'm all for obviously the identity. Work, all of that. And I think emotional resilience work is something that a lot of people really do overlook. Mm-hmm. And one of the biggest reasons I believe that people actually leave their businesses is because of how it's made them feel. Yeah. Regardless of what the failure is, they're leaving because of what they've interpreted about themselves, about that and how it's made them feel. And so for you to say, sorry for you to say, I fell down and I got back up and I fell down and I got back up and then I got a, a different role and I, I got a hospitality job and then I came back to it. Can you tell me a little bit about the mindset and like what was going through your thoughts when you were going through that? Because nothing is a linear journey and I just really want to bring in like the realness of that. Mm. You you have a successful business. Yeah. You, you provide for your family. You are booked out. You know, I can't tell you how many, how many people I've recommended, you know, to you that, that have come and worked, and I can only imagine that other people are the same. So you have created that quote unquote success, whatever we wanna determine that is, but it hasn't been easy, straightforward, or even consistent in the sense of, like you said, I had to step outta the business for a bit and then come back. Tell me about that. Yeah, so I was actually thinking about this the other day. I had always actually thought of this, of me stepping in and outta my business going, you know, full tilt to, to button up not doing this anymore, burning to the ground, all things. I always thought that as a failure, as like, okay, I've never stuck with it for that long. However, I was thinking about this the other day. Um. And a lot of the reason why I did have to step back was due to either the clients that I was working with weren't aligned, or my boundaries, like the boundaries I was setting for myself weren't strong enough. So they were getting pushed over. So then I wasn't enjoying what I was doing. I wasn't enjoying the clients that I was working with. So a lot of that, um, I guess disconnect between who I am, what I wanna be doing, and then what I was actually doing, um, came into a really big factor into that. And yeah, so I got to, like, I remember when I did lead the first time and went back to hospitality, um, after I met my partner, it was primarily due to the clients I was working with, like I, or the things I was getting asked to do. And I'd be like, oh yeah, sure, because I had to make that money or, you know, I had to keep the client or to get the new client or, you know, like there was always a reason why I would say yes, but yeah. And I would identify that as a scarcity energy. Yeah. Um, for people in my world, I'll, I'll say it because they'll hear me say the language. Like that's, I would identify that and it's, and it's just such a thing that we all go through from time to time. Yeah. But it is that I'm gonna say yes or I'm gonna keep that client because I need that money, or I need that income even though they're draining me, even though I feel like this after I interact with them. Yeah. Even though they don't respect my boundaries, even though, um, can I say there was always an even though Yeah, a hundred percent. I've seen such a growth with you if I'm allowed to share. Mm-hmm. Um. You won't mind. I remember once a few years ago saying, um, like what, you know, what's your saying of genius? What do you absolutely. Like, what part do you absolutely love?'cause I'm sitting there thinking, how can I give her more of what she loves and Yeah. And really work people to their strengths and you are just like, I'll do everything. Yeah. That was me for like probably a good four or five years. Yeah. And now I know that if I ask you that, you're going to say, my zone of genius is, well in your own words, but I see it as my zone of genius is the strategy behind like the build Yeah. At the strategy and the build behind the things like the system. Yeah. The sexy systems. Yeah. Hundred percent. And yeah, that was a lot of, a lot of it was always just saying yes to everything. And that was, that was where I went in and out of business and, Hmm. I, I now ask my team member, like, I've got a beautiful VA who helps me with a few things with you and other clients. And I find myself being like, okay, what do you actually wanna be doing? Because I don't want to be that client who's giving you things that you hate, because I hated doing that. Yeah. So that was a really great learning curve for me as well. Not just as a business owner, but as, as a leader as well for them and for as a client as well. Um, but yeah, that was, and I think, I think a lot of people go through that in business was there's always a say yes to everything at the beginning, just to land the client, or, you know, because there was that, and because I was a single mom, I, I, I was doing that based off survival. Like I needed to get that money, I had to make that income. So that was the way that I knew best how to do that. Mm-hmm. And it wasn't until, yeah, I remember restart. Oh, it was actually from COVID. I had to leave my, um, my job because of, because of COVID. And I came back to my business full time. I was like, okay, this, it's like now, whenever it's okay, Fromm doing it, I'm doing it. Um, and I remember sitting there, but okay, this is what I'm not settling for and like, this is what I'm settling. Like this is my boundaries. This is the standard that I'm setting now and I'm not going below it, otherwise I'm just gonna get, keep going back and forwards. Um, so I feel like yeah, you do get to a certain point where you like, okay, enough is enough. Yeah, it's not working. Let's fix it. Um. What did you notice when you actually then implemented, well, first of all, knew what your boundaries would be and then implemented them. What ripple effect did you notice within yourself? And I'm asking this because so many people are scared to set the boundaries. What if they get mad at me? What if they leave? What if I lose that client? Like, well, you know, yeah. You know the fears like we, we know. So what did you find happened for you and your family once you set those boundaries within your business? Particularly in a role? I would just say as well, where you are. In such demand. Like it's, I'm, you can't see me, you can't on YouTube. But it's like, I'm kinda like grabbing her like it's almost like mom, mom, mom. Yes. It's a little bit like that. Really? Yeah. I would imagine. Because it's like, oh, gab, I need this gab. Can you do this? Oh shit, this is due tomorrow. Oh my God, this is broken. Can you jump in and fix this? This person didn't get their email. Like it's a, it's a lot of like Mom, mom, mom. Yeah. So what did you find once you set those boundaries? I found. One, the more boundaries I set and the firm where I was on them, the more people responded well to it. Like people like when we first started to, for example, um, you were one of my first long-term retainer clients and we had set days that we were working on your business set hours, set days. You had to, you know, it was Wednesday. Yeah. And we still do Wednesday to this day, I'm fairly sure. But, um, the p yeah, it was like the more clear and open and honest I was at the very beginning. The more clients respected that. But like, okay, yeah, that works well for me. I mean, yeah, you can be a bit flexible here and there, but. I found that I started getting really, really in demand clients coming after me. The more boundaries I set in place, because it was organized, it was strategic, it was, it was not chaos. And that is why people outsource because they don't wanna feel chaotic anymore. So when, when someone came to me and they were like, oh, I just feel like everything's all happening. I need this done this day, this day. I'm like, okay, cool. Let's focus on this is when you need to have things to me by. Mm-hmm. And evening after that, you know, might go the next week or so on. So being strict with people Yeah. Actually calmed them down. Mm-hmm. And we were able to get 10 times more work done. And when people understood that things just flowed so much better and. Now I'm, yeah, I'm a bit more lenient because I do have that more of a flexibility in my schedule. But like if you message me on a weekend, for example, and I don't reply, I know that you respect why I'm not replying ly, but if I do reply, it's not like you expect me to like, do you know what I mean? Like there's that expectation now where it's, I run mine a bit similar. Yeah, yeah. So it's like, yeah, I might message someone on the weekend, but I don't expect them to reply till Monday or the day that I'm working. Like there's that level of respect, whereas when you don't have that relationship to start with, the respect can then get a little bit lost and that's when the boundaries get stepped on and things like that. So yeah, for me it was being really clear upfront and I have like still to this day, my clients refer me like an, and you, you know, you refer me to a lot of clients and that is. Probably a lot of the reason why, because it's like, okay, people don't want their chaos. Yeah. So they outsource. And that's being really clear and open and honest from the get go is Yeah. Massive difference. Yeah. You don't wanna hire a VA to help you get organized and then it feel more overwhelming and Yeah. Yeah. You can tell, you can tell the clients who stay long term and the ones who aren't gonna stay very long because mm-hmm. They don't respect that or they're not quite there yet to have that structure. Um, yeah. So, yeah. Yeah. That would be, yeah. The more strict I was, the more clients I got, I found. Yeah. Um, but to a point obviously. Yeah. Absolutely. So then what did you notice then in terms of, 'cause obviously when we don't have our solid boundaries, we do leak a lot of energy. Yeah. So what did you then find happened then in the ripple at home from setting the boundaries? Yeah, well, I was able to switch off because I like, I literally remember this day really clearly with one of my old clients who had no boundaries at this point. And I remember driving to my now fiance's house one afternoon and I had to pull over on the side of the road because she messaged me wanting something right then, right, right now. And I was like, oh, I gotta do it now I gotta pull over, do it on my phone. It was like a hashtag. It was something that was not urgent. And I got to that point and I was like, what the hell am I doing? Why am I one? It was a weekend. Two, I was definitely not working, but yet I had to make that a priority. And so putting those boundaries in place with work, now I'm able to switch off. Now I'm able to have set hours where my kids know when I'm working, my kids know when I'm not, and. It's just like that level of organization at home, at in work comes into home. And I do love that because now I get to pick them up from school, drop 'em off, do all the things, do all the afternoon sports. I've mean we've got four sports every week after school. Like if you don't have Oo, that's not gonna happen. Yeah. Yeah. Like it, it was a necessity for me because obviously stepping into going from one child to now five, those boundaries had to be in place for me to be able to be a mother to that many children and be present and you know, be a partner as well. Yeah. And then also have time for myself. So yeah, it is definitely Ripple. A ripple effect. I would also imagine that obviously being a mother and having five children around and just the general stress of life, like your nervous system is already at a certain, yeah, right. Like regulation would be something I imagine would be, we mean constantly regulating, but, um, when you are always on in your business too, when you always have to be alert, oh, do I have to respond to this person's message now? Oh, are they're gonna get the shits? If I don't, oh, is that a task? I'm gonna drop everything for that. Just from like a health perspective and from a mental and emotional health perspective, I can only imagine how much, how much less stress. Yeah, you would have saved yourself by implementing. Yeah. I mean, even if someone, like a client would message me on like Instagram, even if they were like replying to a story and be like, oh, I love this. Or, you know, something casual. I would reach this level of anxiety. Like, oh, do they need something from me now? Or like, you know, that was the point that it got to, and I was like, this is not how it should be. No. Do you know, I was working with Jazz Jarvis a couple of years ago as a mentor, um, or up until the beginning of this year, but when I first entered her world, they have a email response that says, we practice what we preach and we'll like, you know, we don't just, I can't remember the words, but essentially it was like, we don't just jump because the email dings and we are going to respond within 48 hours. Yeah. Like it's, it was really clear. It was really like, and it was order reply. Everything's like, you can expect my, like the team. Yeah. Because we got our boundaries and it's like, yeah, we need more of that. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. And I feel like you still learn those things along the way. Like I, you know, even if you have holidays and things like planned, like, you know, coming up and things like that, just setting those clear expectations saying, oh, hey, I'm actually unavailable at these times. Whereas before, I would get really anxious about ever having time off, and so I would never have time off. I would take my laptop with me away and work because I was so scared that I would be in, in inconvenience to someone else. So it's like, it really does play a massive effect on, on your health. Yeah. If, if that's how you're running your business. So, mm. Can I ask then? Mm-hmm. Is, is that, that shift in that realization, is that a part or a driver then of a lot of what you are. Teaching now, which is teaching business owners and empowering them to be able to know and a good element of their backend systems and how to do it. Yeah. I think because the industry, a sense is so much more overwhelming than what it was when I first started that in order and because there's like a lot of offshore VAs and service providers and things like that as well, that people can get a lower price. However, what I am here to do is teach people to be able to understand their worth for one and what services they offer, but to also allow them to feel confident enough to, you know, price their offers, develop, develop that as well, but also to have the confidence to. To stand out, to show their personality, to not settle for any less than they, than they should. With that, with that level of boundary as well. And things that I've kind of gone through knowing the, the, the triggers or the red flags with certain clients, knowing the ones that are gonna be long lasting and the ones that are, you know, that, that aren't gonna last. And I think that understanding that really allows you to work with those dream clients, work with people who you feel aligned with. And I don't want it to take people that long that it took me to get to that point. So I think that's my mission here, is to help people to get to that point quicker without having to go through all of those hurdles and mistakes and, and, and confidence and all the things that I struggled with that now led me to here, obviously. And yes, everyone's gonna have their learning curves, but, um, yeah, I think just being aware of what it, of what it all is. Um. People can, I think new, especially when you're new to business, you can be a little bit naive too. Yeah. Um, and yeah, so I just, I want women, more women to feel more confident with, with what they are actually here to offer, with what actually makes them feel good and not have to say yes to everything. Yeah. Yeah. And are you specifically working with like VAs and, and people in that sort of direct service based industry? Or is it like other types of services and things that you're supporting? Yeah, I think any online service provider, um, I feel like the industry can be slightly varied, but most of the foundations and what it takes to build structure and set those boundaries can be really similar across the board. So, um, and I've, I've had clients who have, who have been, you know, social media managers and things like that before and they all struggle with, with very similar things. Um. So, yeah, I do think on, in the online space, it's all quite similar, depending what, like, doesn't matter what industry you're in. Mm. Do let's talk about how you have supported me in the backend of my business, because as I said, there's been so many roles, there's so many things that you've done. One of the things I think that I know I am most proud of, um, oh, actually no. Can I pivot back? I'm gonna pivot back because something just popped into my head that I wanted to ask you about before, and it was around the boundaries. Mm-hmm. You, sorry, I'm gonna make a note. We're gonna come back. Sorry guys. Um, this is how my brain works. You put up a post the other day about a client who had messaged you. Was it the day after you gave birth? Yeah. Uh, the, like literally a few hours after. Yeah, a few hours after. Can you tell us about how you handled that? Yeah, because that's not my jaw drop, my jaw dropped. I was like, okay. Yeah, it was if like she, it was okay. Sorry. Situation was, I had just given birth and I had taken, there was obviously no real set time for when I was taking leave because obviously we didn't know when it was gonna happen. Right. Um, but it got to a point where, yeah, she, I told her that I had just had my son, um, and he was in intensive care at that point. Um, and she messaged me, but it wasn't, uh, it was something for an urgent task. Now I don't believe anything is urgent in business and I had already given her all of the things that she had to do while I was on leave. I've shown her the whole process. I'd given her the, like a video tutorial on how to onboard her clients and she just didn't watch it. And so that was a triggering point for me because you can prepare as much as possible, but if, yeah. And you did. Yeah. Like I launched, 'cause I know I launched my mastermind while you were on leave, but we prepared it all as in launched for the, like, first time ever. Yeah. Yeah. Um, 'cause it was that timing, but we had all launched everything prepared. Mm-hmm. Like as best as we possibly could. Yeah. So that I, I could do as much of just what I could as possible. Yes. Um, we, we, I think we prerecorded podcasts like we did so many things. You were so prepared as best as we could be. Like you were so prepared. Oh my god. Yeah. And that was, yeah, that was definitely a triggering point.'cause I was like, mm-hmm. It was just that it, I wasn't annoyed. It was kind of like a light bulb be like, she doesn't feel confident enough to do this herself. Yeah. So she had all the information, she had the how tos, but either one, she couldn't be bothered or two, she didn't trust herself to do it correctly. And to me it was more of a. A learning opportunity to be like, okay, more women need to feel more confident with what they're doing in their own business. Yeah. Um, and that's a lot of the reason why people outsource is because they don't understand the tech, or it's too hard or it's too time consuming. But a big difference between why me and you have been working together for so long compared to other people I've worked with who didn't last very long was because you know how your business runs. Right. You might not be, it might not be your zone of genius in certain parts at all. Might I might not like doing it. Yeah, exactly. You might not like doing it, but you understood it. Right. I know. Yeah. I can jump in and fix a funnel if I need to on a weekend or if something goes drastically wrong, I can go in and, or if I just want something done because I'm in a, a rush on my own timeline one night or something, like, I'm sure you probably pop in and see emails like, oh, I didn't schedule that one. Yeah. Yeah. So like it's that, and that's a big difference is. People who understand their business and then go to outsource are gonna be a lot more successful because they understand it to begin with. Mm-hmm. Whereas she didn't understand any part of her business before she hired me. So it was all on me. And so she didn't then have the confidence to go and implement it herself in case she messed it up, or in case she did the wrong thing or set in the old form, or, you know, like, and that was, it was at the time I was like, oh my God, how dare she? But also it was like, okay, she's, she doesn't feel good enough, like good about herself enough to do this. And that was kind of a turning point for me as well because I was like, okay, more women need to feel more confident with how the business runs from behind the scenes. And she had given you all the power in her business. Yeah. And I don't mean that in like, um, I don't know. I actually, no, I don't think I need to justify that. No. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. She had, she had, she had handed over her power in her own business. And then she didn't know how to do it without me there. Yeah. So that was, and that's what I preached all over my social media the last few months as well, is that if you wanna outsource, that's great, but if you're outsourcing because you don't understand something, what happens when they go on leave? What happens when they have a baby? What happens if, you know, they all of a sudden up and quit, like you stuck with nothing and learning from scratch again. Yeah. So like it's, it's massive to Yeah. To wanna outsource, but you have to understand how your business works. Yeah. From your own, like on your own before someone else comes in. Because then also you don't know if they're doing it right. You don't know what's working, you don't know what's not working. Like Yeah. You don't understand it. You can't fix, you can't improve. And yeah. So that was a really big, like, okay, I, I'm not just gonna be the to-do person. I, I need to teach more people how Yeah. As well. Yeah. I love, I love that you, you definitely are ready to be teaching. I can feel that. And just that empowerment behind what you're saying is massive. Yeah. Because business owners, I, and yeah, I, I don't know why I feel like I, I could upset someone by saying this. I dunno why I feel like that, but it's like you really could be preaching to business owners about not giving away their power to their va. Yeah. Yeah. And a lot of people do. Yeah. A lot of people behind me and be like, I don't know what you can do. Can you just come and fix this? And they'll be like, I don't know what you've actually done. Yeah. And so, well, yeah, I know you don't. Yeah. Yeah. So moving then back to the conversation, I have started before the back end of my business. One of the things that. I think that we have achieved in my business that I know is one of the things that I am the most proud of, is the way that we look after the clients in my world and the people which has led to things like a hundred percent high ticket mastermind retention. It's led to people moving through multiple containers. You know, you think you need so many people coming into your world to have a successful financial business, but you need to move people through your world. Yeah. You know, and, and a hundred percent, yeah. Tell me, 'cause I've talked about, I've done some episodes about, you know, my human first strategy, that's all we wanna call it. Um, you know, and, and the intimacy and, and all of those things. But tell me a little bit from your like lens, um, observing, being in the backend, implementing, like what do you think really contributed to all of that? Yeah, I definitely think when people talk about human first or client retention, it is so overlooked or nearly to the point where people are like, oh yeah, I already know that. But you'd be surprised at how many business owners are not prioritizing the clients who already in their world, like I've been part of spaces and I've been part of your spaces, obviously behind the scenes, and I've seen a massive disconnect. And the level of connection that you have with your clients to what I've received on a different lens as well, being in a different space is, is so different. And it, it honestly is like a testament as to why you have a hundred percent retention rate. Like that is incredible. And that is nearly unheard of these days. Like people are going in and out of containers all the time. And myself included, I've been in and out of different containers because you don't get that level of. Like the personalization anymore is just not gone. It's like people come in, they pay, they jump on a call every now and then. That's it at the moment. Like it's, but yeah, the way that you deliver your mastermind is not like what I see. Mm. Very often. I love hearing that because I, I obviously have got my ladies and their feedback, but you are in, you are seeing other people's container. Yeah. And, and I think a lot of that is that. Is not just through your processes. Um, because we can do all the automations, we can do all the automat, like the onboarding, offboarding, all the things, but you've always gone that next step deeper. Um, like even just your onboarding, for example. You don't just ask what their name and email is. You, you actually ask the questions of what are their goals? What is their fear? Like, you know, what is their favorite food? Like, things like that where you actually get to know who they are. Mm-hmm. What they love, how you get to support them, not just in a business perspective, but as a human perspective as well. Like how do they best feel supported? And also you check in with them. Like, it's not like a okay, join every 12 months. It's like every three to six months you're checking in. Is everything working well? Like, where should we fix things up? Or you know, is it too overwhelming or is it, you know, all the things like, I feel like you. You genuinely give a damn about who's in your world. And it's, well, I love them to bid like exactly like they're part of you. I have so much love, I feel connected to them. I'm like feeling like they're in my spaces because, you know, just, or you do know how beautiful they are. But I just got on to record episode 200 with a couple of mentees, and when I got on there, one of them was like, check your emails. And I was like, okay. Um, and they, they had organized me a day spa voucher just to say thank you for Yeah. Nurturing them. Like I, yeah, I cry, I cried. I was like, oh, this is so, yeah. How many, I don't even have words for that. Yeah, but how many, how many people's, like, how many people are gifting their coach something? Exactly. Like, I was like, oh, I love you so much. Like, we have such a beautiful connection. Um, but it's so funny that some things are perceived as like going an extra step, whereas to my brain, it's just like, isn't that what we do? Don't we send people birthday gifts? And we, you know, like, don't, don't we just do those things, which people don't, people like no one does that, no one sends the birthday gifts or, um, I've always had that experience, so in my master, like in Tracy's mastermind, you know, we get nurtured in that way too. Yeah. And so I guess for me then I've just been like, well, this is the, this is the standard. That's the standard that's, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's the same past businesses too. I've, I've been Yeah. In three different masterminds and not once experienced that. Wow. I even had to follow up with one of them. About my container ending 'cause she didn't even know when my container ended. Oh no. So it's like, there's just that disconnect. And I think so many people wanna have masterminds in group programs at the moment that the personal touch is just, it's slowly getting lost. Mm-hmm. And there is a reason why they don't have a high retention rate. And yeah, I don't think it's that extra step or you know, that more things that you have to be doing. It's just your character, it's how you connect, it's how you show people to feel supported and how you wanna be supported. And I think that just it, it shows a lot in your personality as well. Yeah. Thank you. What do you say works really well? In the backend? Just of the business in general. Like, I'm just really curious 'cause I'm pretty open about all the processes and things that we go through. Like what do you, what do you think that we've set up really well that's working really well? Like, what do you see working well in the backend of my business? Honestly, this, it's not over complicated. Mm-hmm. And I think it, everyone tries to over complicate it with all the different systems and all the different processes, but like, but to Ivory was a really good idea too. Yes. I mean, you are always gonna have those little technical faults and things like that, that pop up with any program. But yeah, ivory was a good choice. Um, obviously reducing the amount of different platforms, but even before then, like there wasn't any. 50 step process to anything. It was really to the point it was, here's the information you need, here's what you need to do. I love that because I was like, am I overcomplicating everything? So I love, I'm glad I asked that question. No, I'm not. There we go. Because I don't see, I see in the back end of my mentees businesses, but obviously I'm gonna mentor from my lens and perspective, so I don't see in the back end of other businesses. So I'm glad to hear that.'cause I was like, oh yeah, I am overcomplicating and, and I'm really curious. How do you handle me being a manifesting generator who moves at lightning speed when I decide that I want something and often forget to inform. But you keep it interesting. That's, that's good. We're just gonna say that. Elaborate. Yeah. No, it's good because it's not boring. No. Like it's, it's entertaining. And I actually love that about you because you're like, no, screw this. We're gotta do this instead. And. But because we just spent six months building something. Oh, well didn't you just pay for a year subscription? It's all, well, remember when I went to build an app? Remember? I was like, we're gonna build this app and then G, we spent like three months doing that and then it just didn't happen. And then I just went, I fucking hate this program. It's all learning. And then Gab goes, thank God I hated it too. I was like, okay. It was actually, that was, that was probably the worst thing that we could have ever possibly done. I think. I know. I know. Had to learn. Had to learn by getting my hands, by getting my hands dirty. Yeah. Yeah. Frustrated the shit out. I won't name it 'cause that's not nice, but, but that's this thing though, we have all, like all of those crazy ideas that didn't pan out. We always came back to the basics. Yeah. Like that's just, that's just how it is. And that's what I do love is that you could have the most crazy random pivot idea, but it's never like. Complex. It's like, okay, cool. That's a new idea. That's great. And now all we have to do is do the same process. Like, do you know what I mean? Yeah. Like it's never been, I mean, the app was probably the most drastic thing we've ever had to do, or switching our whole platform into one another, but it worked out again and me thinking it was gonna take, what did we, we were like, oh, on roll. I now, we started in November and started in November, started for Christmas. I wanted it done by January. But just because, because I was naive. I had no idea. Yeah, Jess, it's not gonna take that long. I was like, it's only this, this little bit, and you can click this button and this import so it won't take that long. And then we ended up getting so frustrated that I just got them to build it. Yeah, we should've done that from the start. Should have done it from the start. But we were both learning, right? Yeah. And honestly, well, that's right. It was a new platform for both of us. Love that platform now. Yeah. And, and now, I mean, you love it so much that you, you know, you talk about it all the time. You, I think assume you affiliate for it. Like we Yeah. We, we have made a good decision. Yeah. That one works. Oh, I think it was last, last Christmas. Yeah. I sent you a message like in the break time or just after saying, oh, by the way, I've just rebranded them over the Christmas series. Yeah. Meeting with the new brand, going into like, and we knew we were going to Jessica Reid, but by the way, just rebranded Whole new visuals. Whole new, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then what did I, what was my most recent one? It was like a by the, oh yeah, by the way, the mastermind names Just, yeah. Mastermind and the um, academy. Everything is just all changing. You had rebirth. That's, well, there you go. There's a reason though. Yeah. So it's not like you ever do anything without good reason. No, it, well, the thing is, I, like I was talking about with you before about you pivoting and the identity in the business coming into, into balance for me to continue even with, with the names of those programs, but the essence of the messaging for me to continue with that, it would've been me continuing from a different identity. Yeah. And so it had to pivot. Yeah. The, you know, the Ascension Academy. The essence of what I'm teaching, the journey from survival identity through ascension of symptoms, through visibility into the wealth energetics and the normalizing your new standard. That hasn't changed. Mm-hmm. Yeah. But the, the energy of the program has. Mm-hmm. And so, yeah. But there was this, and things do need to change, like Yeah. If it's, you know, as a, you know, over the last eight years in business, like you have to be able to be okay to evolve things, to be able to be better and change and Yeah. But I do that and see as a manifesting generator, my secondary strategy, I am supposed to. Inform as a part of my strategy, responding. You are getting better. You are getting really good. I'm practicing. I like it takes a lot because I tend to move, change things, start something half done and then go, oh, by the way, yeah, by the way, I had this big like surge on the weekend and I've created this, but it's all half finished now. Can you like go in and finish it for me and like, yeah. Ah, I often wonder what it's like to be on the other end, on the receiving end of my break. I know. Honestly, it does not even bother me because what I do love is that you can have those big pivots or big, big, by the way, we're changing this moment, but. It's never urgent. Do it now. And that is why it works well between us because you respect me. I respect you. And those boundaries are never pushed just because we have a change of mind. Like, yeah, sure, we might have to redo a few things and you know, prioritize more one week and then the other, or things like that. But like, there's never that expectation of urgency. Yeah. And that's why, that's why it works. That's why we've worked for so long, I think. Hmm. Yeah, absolutely. Okay. I would love to ask you how someone can work with you if they, if they feel really pulled, how can they get into your world? Well, probably the best way would be to reach out to me on Instagram. Um, I am offering coaching in the 2026. Um, so either through there, I do have application form on my, um, Instagram bio so people can come there or honestly voice chat in the dms because it's gonna be the easiest way, especially coming to the Christmas break. Um, otherwise, yeah, I do have a few links in my Instagram buy, but we'll pop them in the show notes as well anyway. We'll, yes. We'll, because I'll be doing that for you. I'm gonna say you, I didn't know that was rude or not, so we'll make sure they're in there. But um, yeah, that's gonna be the best way. Amazing. Oh, thank you so much, gab. This has been, thank you for having me. Me. This has been good. Yeah, so good. So go and say hello. Let Gab know what you loved about this conversation. If you resonated, if you wanna inquire about coaching. Do you know actually someone, I was talking to someone the other week and they were exploring how can I make money whilst, 'cause I think there is a reality of launching, coaching, launching online offers. Mm-hmm. That you are well aware of, that sometimes they can take a little while to, to get off the ground and we can take a little while to nail our messaging and, and this particular client was saying, oh, you know, maybe I am gonna have to go get a job while, while I'm building this thing. And I was like, what skills have you got? And she was like, well, bookkeeping and this and that. I was like, okay, so do you wanna get a job or do you wanna maybe. Be a virtual assistant, for example, and, and, you know, still run your business, but just have different income streams coming in from that. Hmm. And she was like, how would I even start that? Where would I even get my clients from? Yeah. If that's something that you are thinking, like how would I, I, I would love to have a separate income stream while I'm also growing my dream programs, but knowing that sometimes they do take a little bit of time. Mm-hmm. That's something that g and coach you with? Yeah, a hundred percent. Yeah. And I have been that through that phase. I'm trying to launch an academy at the same time, at the moment, but I know that you can't always rely on, on one source. Like you said, sometimes you do need to have, have one, one source of income while you build. Build your forever offer and all things like that. So fully have experienced that myself as well. Yeah. That's so funny you said forever offer because my manifesting generator brain, just like as the word forever offers then I don't have forever homes. I don't have forever offers. You don't have to. No, no, no. Evolving. Evolving. You can, you can have a forever offer because you have the energy to go deep into something that lights you up. Yeah. Oh, this has been so fun. Thank you so much. Thank you for having me./ Thank you for tuning into If today's episode spoke to you, I'd love for you to share it with another soul led entrepreneur who is also ready to rise. Make sure to subscribe, leave a review, and stay connected because when you are deeply resourced, you become unstoppable. Until next time, my friend, stay resourced. Stay radiant and trust in the magic that is you.