EP 201 - From Triggered to Unshakeable: Becoming Emotionally Detached from Criticism

"Get a real job. You bum."

"Coming from someone that has never made anything in her entire life."

Real comments. Real trolls. On Jessica's Facebook ads. A few years ago, this would've destroyed her. Last week? She screenshot them and made a reel.

What changed wasn't her skin getting thicker. It was the wound underneath closing.

If you've been holding back from being visible because you're scared of what people might say, this episode reveals why judgment only stings when it hits something raw. And how to become so anchored in who you are that projections can't shake you.

You'll hear:

• Why the same comment that destroyed Jessica years ago now makes her laugh
• The wound underneath your fear of visibility (it's not what you think)
• How to know when you're ready for your next visibility edge
• Why becoming undeniable beats being liked, every time

The business owners willing to face their visibility wounds are the ones who'll grow in 2026. This is how you start.

Join the free activation: Activate Full Expression to Become an In Demand Authority in 2026
Dates: February 16th, 18th, 19th
No content hacks. Just what it takes to be seen, felt, and paid for who you are.

Sacred Moments & Searchable Topics:

[00:02:15] Real trolls and mean comments on Facebook ads
[00:08:45] "If the wound is not open, it can't trigger you"
[00:12:20] Authority wounds and imposter syndrome in business
[00:16:40] The invitation in your next visibility edge
[00:20:15] Becoming emotionally detached from online criticism

Transcript

0:01

Welcome to the Fuck Yes. Frequency. The podcast where strategy meets energetics and your business gets to feel like a full body. Yes. I'm Jessica Re, frequency first business mentor for the woman building a sustainable, scalable, and sexy business grounded in her unapologetic self-expression, authority, and embodied leadership. Let's drop into the episode. Coming from someone that has never made anything in her entire life, all load of BS.'What the f*ck are you f*cking talking about? Get off the bong. You id**t. Who would listen to a 15-year-old? You are a f*ckwit. I deeply believe that.' These are all comments left on Facebook ads of mine over about a week's period of time. Now, we are gonna talk today about visibility and why comments like this stop so many high achieving, fantastic, brilliant, talented women from actually stretching themselves into that next level of visibility because they're scared that this is going to happen. We are gonna talk about judgment, and I wanna tell you that a few years ago, something like this would have made my stomach twist and turn inside. Absolutely twist and turn. And today I am gonna talk to you also about how you cannot be triggered by these things, what you can actually do. So let me just say, first of all. There are people, it just blows my mind that there are people like this. There are people who've actually then liked some of these comments.'If delusion had a face', someone liked that.'You're a f*ckwit. I deeply believe that.', someone liked that. That man has a picture of a baby sitting on his lap and he's commenting like that. That's what I don't understand about people. Right. But if you are someone who feels like something like that happening to you is terrifying, then you need to listen to this episode. A couple of years ago when I was first starting this business and I was running ads, there was this woman who commented on an ad and she was essentially saying that I was, I forget the word, but she didn't agree with EFT, she didn't think it was a real thing, got my qualification from some clown college, all those types of things that she was saying. Now, let me tell you why that caught me so deep, because as I was showing up and I was putting this ad out there, and it was really nerve wracking. What was bigger for me was what was underneath that, and that was the fact that I was already questioning my authority. I was wondering, will people take me seriously? I was wondering, am I qualified enough to really help people, who would actually listen to me? And so this particular woman with these comments was actually putting salt into a wound that I already had open. Okay. That is going to be the key thing that you are gonna take away from this whole episode. If the wound is not open already, it can't trigger you. Do I wish that mean people like that didn't exist? Well, I don't wish that they didn't exist, but I wish that they didn't do what they do. Absolutely. I don't think it should be acceptable that being a woman in business and running an ad, it's just collateral damage that people get to say this kind of disgusting bullsh*t on people's posts. I don't think that that is acceptable at all. But this did not trigger me in any way, shape, or form. In fact, I had a giggle. I had an eye roll because like I said, there's a man with a baby sitting on his lap and he's saying those kinds of things. So I had a giggle, I had an eye roll. I got a little confused about the person who thought I looked 15 years old. Is that a compliment? Is that No, I'm not sure. And then I screen recorded it and I created a reel about it because I know what a big fear factor this is for women invisibility and stepping into that next level of visibility. And it's not just because they're fearing, d*ckhead like this, saying things to them on Facebook in ads, but it's judgment itself. It's things like, what if my ex-boss sees this, or my husband even? What will my old coworkers think? Who do they think I am to be saying this? So this visibility triggers our deepest, deepest wounds, and that's why I will stand on this hill continually repeating that the business owners that are willing to face their visibility wounds are the ones who are going to move forward, grow, and stay relevant in 2026. And that is because visibility is coded in the body as danger when it is tied to past experiences of shame, rejection, or humiliation, and what we have made mean of certain circumstances. So most women will say that they're scared of judgment rather than the comments themselves when we actually break it down. And it actually, what they're afraid of is what they have made those comments mean. And that's exactly tying into the example that I gave at the very beginning of this one woman, who by the way, was relentless. I had there were people who had seen my post, who'd worked with me. And they were commenting all these nice things and the people who loved EFT were commenting too, and she just kept coming back. Link me the study, tagging me and everything. Link the studies, link this, and it's like, go. But at that point in time, she was pouring salt into one of my biggest visibility wounds, which was being an authority in my space, being rejected and not accepted by people, which really then came under the umbrella of, 'Will they take me seriously? Maybe I need to be more clinical?'. I've talked to you about all of the masking that I have done in the past. What we're really afraid of when we think that we are afraid to be seen is actually afraid of being misunderstood or ridiculed or rejected. And most of us know that that is a tribal wound. That is because deep, in our early ways of being, anything that didn't keep you safe in a tribe was a threat. And so as a human, it is a fundamental need to feel like we belong and to feel like we are accepted. Except in this day and age, there is so much complication to that. It is not black and white. Here's the tribe, the tiger's coming. So you need to make sure that you're all together for protection. It's, 'Oh, I'm gonna see this as a threat and this is a threat, and if I wanna go and live my life the way that I want to, then this could potentially be a threat. Will I belong?'. And I accepted. I had the same, I had a little ping of that as well. Only maybe last year, and it came from someone really close and I was starting to show little bits of my exercise and things like that. And literally they said to me, 'Oh, what are you showing yourself working out on Facebook now?' Oh, that little like, oh, 'Oh, they're judging me'. And then I kind of took a breath and I went, yeah, it's what I need to do for content. And then I walked off and I reminded myself, sharing me is actually a part of who I am. It's how people connect to me. They don't have an online business. They don't get it. But there was that moment where that judgment hurt. Now the next lot of criticism that I got in online ads was one where we were making a reel in Bali and my mentor had gone around and she got everyone to do this particular dance thing that she wanted everyone to do. And someone recorded me doing that. Now I got comments on that ad.'Clown faces get a real job.You bum.' All these like, yeah, people-with-kids thing commenting. No, that would have rubbed salt in a wound for me had I had, and not already identified that wound and worked on it. So when we are stepping into our next visibility edge, it is very, very likely that there is something that we need to find within ourselves that is actually an invitation to explore. I had a message literally 15, 20 minutes ago from a past client who she said, hang on. I wrote something down. She said, not in these exact words, but essentially she wanted to tell me that she had doubled her price for her speaking, and she'd used EFT to send the email, and of course they accepted her. Of course, it was a no-brainer, but there was a part of her that wobbled at the prize. And then she said, oh, now I've just got to work on believing that I'm worth that prize. And I said to her, well, I've said a few things, but actually I wanna say to you, this is another level of visibility. She needs to be seen and see herself at that next level. That next level of payment. That next level of being seen on Facebook ads, that next level of eyes on you, that next level of being visible in an intimate container and holding space for people. There's always going to be something that comes up and that is what I deeply believe is an invitation. It's not a reason to stop. So when we find that real root, we can't pour salt in a wound. The judgment doesn't hurt unless it is hitting something raw. I truly believe that. That has been my experience. If there is no open wound, the salt won't sting. Things that I would've spiraled at years ago, now I screenshot and record as a reel and do a whole podcast episode on it. Why? Because I'm emotionally detached from it, because I have done that deeper identity work. I have faced the places within myself, and I know that they'll keep coming up in different ways, but to get to where I am now, where I questioned my authority, where I met my inner imposter, where I stopped letting those parts of me run the show. So when you feel like I want to step into my next level of visibility,'Oh, I wanna run ads, but I don't know how I'll handle the comments'. That was also one of my Mastermind members a few months ago. Her biggest fear was that she would get some sort of comment on a Facebook post or a Facebook ad. I can't remember which one it was. And then it happened and I celebrated that. Because we were sitting in Slack, we were chatting and I was like, now just pat yourself down and look, I'm still alive. Okay. Do you notice anything in your body? Oh yeah, this is a little, okay, well, let's follow that pathway and see what this is pointing us to so that we can heal that. If you've ever done any work with me, you know, I'm a massive fan of using body psychotherapy to get to the root. One of the fastest ways that we can get to the root of what is actually holding this up. Because what the brain thinks it is and what the body leads us to is often very different. The point is, though, is that there are so many mindset shifts that we can make on this. Whether you are wanting to reach more people and you're worried about comments, whether you are wanting to be seen and fully expressed for who you actually are, and you are worried about your ex-husband seeing you, like whatever it is that you are worried about in your next level of visibility, I encourage you to look at it as an invitation. It's the ascension symptom. It's the game of whack-a-mole. We need to defeat this monster before we can get to the next level. And so when we think about then that path to what we can call f*ck yes visibility. We think about the fact that being visible, it's not just about your strategy to be able to implement your visibility strategy, you need to have the identity that can hold it. The nervous system frequency and your nervous system will collapse with those open wounds that says, 'I don't believe I'm qualified enough'. Obviously, this is one of my examples. I don't believe I'm qualified enough. I don't think I'm an authority in this. No one's gonna take me seriously. And then someone comments on that and I am then reaffirming and they are externally reaffirming something that I already believed about myself. If the wound wasn't there to begin with, if the belief wasn't there to begin with, that couldn't reaffirm it. Now, I'm not saying that it's not gonna hurt your feelings, okay? Because sometimes that will happen. People, it is mean, and again, I'm not justifying that 'cause I think it's disgusting. But to let it spiral you, that's where we need that nervous system that can hold it. And that happens again by actually dealing with and identifying the identity that is leading that. So the real power move, I deeply, deeply believe this, in visibility is actually not going viral. It's becoming so solid in who you are and so safe in who you are that someone else's projections cannot touch you. That post was not about me. They do not know me. I have done a lot with my life. Like what kind of, you know what I mean? Like, they don't know me. The comment wasn't about me. The judgment that was not mine to carry. That was a projection, and I'm not even gonna pretend to understand what was going on for them. I have my theories, but I'm not gonna say it, but it was a projection, not mine. So when you are anchored, when you are anchored in that nothing can actually shake you, not at least enough to knock you off, especially in the way that it used to. Trolls, fear of people judging you, fear of being seen as the woman who sells this, or as the person who does EFT tapping for a living or fear of being seen in a way that is different to an identity that everybody else has known you as. Something that people don't understand, something people judge, something you are fearing them judging. Again, this is an invitation to turn in woods and look at what is this inviting me to actually deal with. It's an invitation to shed another layer of something that is going to hold you back. So as you listen to this, my invitation to you is to stop trying to be liked and stop being undeniable. And I can tell you as we wrap up today's episode, if you feel like you want to step into that version of you, the one who is magnetic and grounded and felt every time she speaks. I have a free live activation coming up. It is in three dates in February, the 16th, 18th, and 19th, and we are going to look at how to go from being invisible to in demand authority in 2026. And if you want to cut through the noise of the online world so that you can be seen, felt, and paid for who you actually are. That starts with safety and that is what we are going to be diving into. Okay. Not a content strategy. No. Algorithm hacks. Absolutely no trending reels or dancing to get likes. Nothing like that. We are looking at what it actually takes for you to be seen, felt, and paid. So that brings us to the end of this episode. Let me know how this felt for you. Come over to my Instagram and tell me how did this feel. What visibility edge are you holding yourself back at in fear of judgment? In fear of someone else rubbing salt into a wound. And does this conversation help you to actually follow the breadcrumbs to the wound that was actually leading your visibility to begin with? Come over and let me know, and I will see you next time. And actually, sorry, before I go, there is a small update. We have been releasing episodes weekly. As of episode 200, we are releasing fortnightly. So just so you know, I won't be back in your ears next week. That I will the week after. All right, I will see you then. If this episode awoken something in you, good. You are ready to lead from your f*ck yes frequency, and you'll find ways to go deeper in the show notes. And before you go, I would be so grateful if you could leave a review and share this episode with someone who you know that is done leading their business from survival and ready to create and live in overflow. See you on the next one.