In conversation with: Katoa

Some conversations stay with you… this is one of them. 💭

The latest episode of Discobrain Talks features DnB DJ & producer Katoa in a way you’ve never heard before. 

Joined by Jadey C & Char Warner, this is an unexpected, deeply open and honest conversation about mental health, vulnerability, and the reality of living through dark moments.

Together, we hold space for Katoa’s journey- speaking candidly about suicide, healing, and what it really means to keep going when things feel impossible. It’s raw, it’s powerful, and above all, it’s rooted in connection and understanding.

This episode isn’t just about music- it’s about people, honesty, and reminding each other that no one has to go through it alone.

If you’re listening, please do so gently and take care of yourself. And if anything resonates, reach out to someone you trust 🤍

#DiscobrainTalks #MentalHealthAwareness #DnB #YouAreNotAlone #MusicAndMind

Transcript

SPEAKER_06 0:00

Discover Brain Talks podcast features honest conversations that may include strong language, discussions about mental health, and open dialogue about drugs and alcohol. Listener discretion is advice welcome back to this February talk.

SPEAKER_03 0:30

I am your host, JDC. I'm with my gorgeous co-host, everybody, Shawana, and we are here with the iconic gift to German base, and it is Mr. Cotella.

SPEAKER_04 0:42

Hello, nice to see you guys.

SPEAKER_03 0:44

How are we?

SPEAKER_04 0:45

Yes, not too bad. Bit anxious, but that's what comes with mental health.

SPEAKER_03 0:49

We're in the right place to talk about that. Don't worry about that. So we're talking about how we met. Uh it's my my turn this time, sure. New pen tree inside and that. But we met a few years ago, didn't we?

SPEAKER_04 1:00

Yeah, we met at the DB Awards 2023 when In the Lab got voted for best newcomer label, and we got second place.

SPEAKER_03 1:08

Big loved in the labs.

SPEAKER_04 1:10

Big loved in the labs. That's where I started.

SPEAKER_03 1:13

Gorgeous group of people. And I was working for Rave Raid, shout out to Rave Raid, and I was like, Do you want this dick?

SPEAKER_04 1:19

Yeah. And I went, I'll have two thanks. Yeah. Kind of run off with it and just kept chatting all night and just became best friends ever since. And that was it.

SPEAKER_03 1:28

It was festive. We had two posers and it's okay. And I'm growing up, I'm not that kind of thing. Stop talking. So we're gonna get to the questions. Okay, so why are you here? Of course, we had to talk about music, male have a lot of jazz. Yep. But we'll just kick it off with the first one. So can you tell us about your music journey? What inspired you to DJ? And if you are producing a little bit of music, what got you into it?

SPEAKER_04 1:49

So my music journey started when I was eight years old. Uh my dad taught me how to start mixing, and he taught me vinyl, taught me what decks do.

SPEAKER_06 2:00

What what because his dad got what vinyl?

SPEAKER_04 2:03

Oh, he's got good 150,000.

SPEAKER_00 2:06

He's got a vinyl's like once you start collecting, you don't stop, do you?

SPEAKER_04 2:10

Yeah, he's got two rooms full, he's got the loft full, like everything. He's got enough room. Yeah, he's he's he's got enough to go around. So that started. My uncle was a DJ, he used to do IBFA, and it's music's in the family.

SPEAKER_03 2:23

But you think you've grown up with DJs in your family, your dad playing vinyl, that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_04 2:28

Yeah, so that started, and then it just kind of snowballed from there. Got into school, friends got into music, we got our like first turntable decks. My first record that I actually got was Shy Feck's feelings.

SPEAKER_00 2:43

Oh, okay. So beautiful. Not playing around.

SPEAKER_04 2:46

No, and that's when I fell in love with it, and I was like, this is me. This is this is where I need to go. And then from that, it was just playing about in my bedroom until I became good enough to the bedroom indeed. Yeah, literally from the bedroom to the big stage. Yeah. Took a couple of years, but I'm getting there.

SPEAKER_00 3:06

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So yeah, I think in terms of like just your connection to music, then it's so personal, really. Like it's in your roots kind of thing.

SPEAKER_04 3:12

I mean, music's my therapy, it's how I deal. So I'm diagnosed bipolar and PTSD.

SPEAKER_00 3:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 3:18

So that's my mental health traits. And I've been off medication for 10 years. Right. So I get through it by listening to music, producing music. That's a drug. Yeah, no, that's that's my escape. That's how I get around things. When I have bipolar episodes, I put my headphones on. I have I have set playlists that I go through and they'll just help me through these episodes. Yeah. And that's all you really need, that and a safe space to do it.

SPEAKER_03 3:48

100%.

SPEAKER_04 3:49

Yeah, I've been like a dance floor, a rave, the woods, a seafront.

SPEAKER_03 3:54

Yeah, sat on a mini bus, going up to the outside of a massive panic attack, like freaking out. And I've got a frequencies, ADHD frequencies, playing it down, bandit on.

SPEAKER_04 4:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:04

Not even a woman in one song.

SPEAKER_04 4:05

I was like, just you get that lock-in, you just start to breathe, you focus everything, and things just start to work.

SPEAKER_03 4:15

Yeah, yeah, it just goes to show what can help you out and something like that happens. Talking of impact, then let's talk about the impact of the gorgeous music industry that we love so much. How do you feel the pressures of the music industry affect your mental health if it has or done so?

SPEAKER_04 4:30

Uh sometimes it's last-minute bookings, things like that that kind of be quite stressful, like trying to get uh travel there, things like that. When you can plan more, it's better.

SPEAKER_06 4:44

Of course.

SPEAKER_04 4:44

Uh especially when your life is so structured that you can't just go drop everything and run. But you want to.

SPEAKER_06 4:53

Of course you do.

SPEAKER_04 4:54

But you want to take every opportunity you get. Sometimes you can't. But other than that, um learning when to call it a night. Like that is that the fun stop stop. Yeah, yeah. I've started to once my set's finished, just finish and go home.

SPEAKER_03 5:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 5:12

Like instead of, oh, I'll stay out for a bit, I'll see this person, see that person.

SPEAKER_00 5:17

It's kind of like a knock-on effect for the rest of your days ahead, though, do you have to? Yeah, it does.

SPEAKER_04 5:20

You spend spend more days recovering than you do having father.

SPEAKER_03 5:24

Yeah. So she gets our wife old day AJ games. We're looking great for 54. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 5:30

I'm 80 now.

SPEAKER_00 5:35

But in terms of um, so the coping mechanisms and stuff, obviously, we spoke just now about how you use music to help out your brain when it's doing a doing a doobry, as Dave would say.

SPEAKER_04 5:44

Going off on one.

SPEAKER_00 5:45

But what other coping mechanisms do you have to be able to just sort of bring you out of that fuzzy place every now and then?

SPEAKER_04 5:51

Uh walks, my dog.

SPEAKER_00 5:52

I love a good walk round. Which dog's name?

SPEAKER_04 5:54

Uh Bluebell. Shout out to the bell.

SPEAKER_03 5:56

Oh, blue girl.

SPEAKER_04 5:56

She's a pocket bullying cross blue staff. She's beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 6:00

She's all our favourite. That's all I've done.

SPEAKER_04 6:03

She's three years old, beautiful, cute as hell, and she will lick you to death.

SPEAKER_03 6:07

Yeah, myself's the exact time. Yeah. She's a nightmare. Don't forget me at a good time.

SPEAKER_04 6:11

Uh yeah, just that. Or sitting around a fire. I like just like staring into fire.

SPEAKER_03 6:17

It's mess very lost in the flame.

SPEAKER_04 6:20

Fire TV is the best.

SPEAKER_03 6:22

But yeah, but I came back from an eye, ah, this is going back. I was 18, like going back way back when my skill was pure. My mate had had a few shandies and we were so shandy up at this point. We were like, oh, put the fire on our phone. We're sat round in a bed, like this. And we're like, oh, you know what I mean? I don't think we're sober made.

SPEAKER_04 6:41

I'll do that at Christmas, put it on the TV.

SPEAKER_03 6:44

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 6:44

Fire the fire crackling.

SPEAKER_03 6:46

Yeah, it was just homely vibe.

SPEAKER_04 6:48

So there's sort of quite everybody knows that a good story doesn't start with salad, so it always starts on night out.

SPEAKER_03 6:56

Yeah, salad's at the end, salad's the day after to bring back the health.

SPEAKER_00 7:00

I guess we're not salad, or your live lethal does well, which I mean, like.

SPEAKER_04 7:03

See without or in the kebab.

SPEAKER_03 7:04

Yeah, yeah. No, good salad on the kebab's fine, though. So let's talk about in your earlier mixes and mash-ups, yeah, there were influences from artists like subfocus and metric. How did these sounds shape your musical identity in the beginning?

SPEAKER_04 7:18

So the dance floor DB kind of grabbed me. I like the vocals, I like the simps, I like the way it was put together. That became my big influence in mixing music where I wanted to what I wanted to play or what I wanted to produce. And it's just the sounds, it's the plucks, it's the rhythm that it has. Um and then from that I started watching sets and seeing sets and hearing like doubles being done, and thought take that, go home, like do it, and then started recording them and putting them out, and that's how I started with the mashups.

SPEAKER_05 8:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 8:01

Um just kind of doing that, just kind of building my base from starting out as a DJ. Uh, because I think when I did that was about six years ago.

SPEAKER_03 8:13

A while ago. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 8:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:15

Well, and also and also producing, like, yeah, we all you become a DJ, you're like, well, what's the next step? You're like, oh, I heard that tune, but we just landed like this, and that's when you're like, okay, let's get on this, let's learn.

SPEAKER_04 8:26

So when when I started producing, my thing was to drag the track onto like the DWA, and then try and replicate it, and then change it up to make it my own. And then that's how I managed to get to grips with the formats and the layouts, and then that's how I built because learning learning software is a bigger one itself. It's hard work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like there's so many layers to it, and so many things you can do.

SPEAKER_00 8:51

Layers, man.

SPEAKER_06 8:52

There's so many layers.

SPEAKER_04 8:53

Like onions.

SPEAKER_00 8:54

So is your heart kind of still in dance floor jumping base mainly? Or do you?

SPEAKER_04 8:57

No, I'm I'm now my sets are like heavy rollers. Um I do. I got camo encrypt in my sets at the moment.

SPEAKER_00 9:08

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_04 9:09

Um my friend Dante Rose, he sends me a lot of songs. He's originally from the UK, but now in LA. Right, right, and he sends me so sends me so many songs, and it's just weaponries when they get played out. And it's just nice playing new music or stuff that people doesn't don't know. Um, so yeah, it goes kind of heavy rollers, bit jungle, into dance floor, the euphoric stuff, bit of liquid, and it just mixes up depending on what kind of uh event I'm playing.

SPEAKER_00 9:45

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think as well, you've got to make sure that if you want to line up include with other people and stuff, you kind of want to do the tunes that are gonna fit in with what everyone else is kind of doing in a way. Do you know what I mean? There's nothing worse than going to an event, you're kind of like, oh, I really fucked with this, and then later on you're going, how how has that come to how has it have we got here? Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 10:01

Like I've I've played at events before that I've had a set set out and the crowd went vibe into it. So I've switched so I've switched to an old set and then just started smashing it in.

SPEAKER_00 10:11

How do you deal with that though? Like, you know, if you can obviously see the crowd reaction.

SPEAKER_04 10:14

Just crowd reef.

SPEAKER_00 10:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 10:16

Just just look at where people are walking off to. Yeah, yeah. Like who's sat talking, who's skanking.

SPEAKER_00 10:22

You sort of take that sort of stuff on a chin, though, as it bother you sometimes.

SPEAKER_04 10:25

No, it doesn't. No, it's it's how I get into it, it's how I get to grips with the people that are in the room.

SPEAKER_03 10:30

It's a game, innit? I'm gonna bring you all back. I'm like bang in the next one.

SPEAKER_04 10:34

I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna play a shit song, you can all go to the toilet.

SPEAKER_03 10:37

Yeah, go go to the bar.

SPEAKER_04 10:39

Yeah, and then I'm gonna bring you all in and you're gonna dance flat out for photography.

SPEAKER_00 10:44

I mean, I go to gigs quite a lot. I usually look up the set list from that same tour because I'm I literally look at songs and like I'm gonna go for a Ouija in that one. Yeah, but I'm gonna have a fever, I'm gonna get the midlip for that one. Do you know what I mean? So yeah, it's best to just do that sometimes. Is it my turn in your tear? Don't know, mate.

SPEAKER_04 10:56

Let's go with gig just.

SPEAKER_03 10:58

All right, sure. Alright, so yeah, no how do you ah, we we've got to love it, eh? And and especially you're like, it's like when you go to a restaurant, you're like, oh, I'll look at menu before.

SPEAKER_04 11:06

Yeah, I'll get yeah, I'll get a keyman.

SPEAKER_03 11:10

Yeah, and I'm like, oh no, I'll just go to charme. Alright, so let's talk about current favourites. What tracks in your live rotation and what music are you personally enjoying? Like, are your rotation tracks reflecting your personal listen or it's different?

SPEAKER_04 11:26

Um, so my personal listen at the moment, I love country music.

SPEAKER_03 11:32

Really? It's having really big results, it's like the most popular genre in the UK.

SPEAKER_00 11:35

Yeah, so we just started doing line dump things.

SPEAKER_04 11:37

Yeah, so I've been into country for years and I just like the vibe of country music. I want to be a cowboy.

SPEAKER_03 11:44

Yeah. You need to go to Mexico.

SPEAKER_04 11:47

No, I'm gonna go to Texas.

SPEAKER_03 11:49

Yeah, of course. Oh, you've gave you to me.

SPEAKER_04 11:53

Um When in Mexico?

SPEAKER_03 11:56

When in way way nicer weather, and it's like all Mexican cowboys, like I can't say the story I'm about to say on here, but um you know the story.

SPEAKER_06 12:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:05

Um tell me when we're not recording. Sorry, guys. We spoke about bringing this story up, and Shah and I agreed that we shouldn't be bringing it up. But I met some I met some people in Mexico. Let's just say they literally look like cowboys. Like all the TV shows and the movies you see of this certain group of people, they are exactly as the stereotype dress. Sorry guys. Um, but they're lovely people, good on them. Anyway, I digress. Country music, yeah. Country music.

SPEAKER_04 12:38

Um, yeah, country music is my go-to. I do like a bit of trance, and I like UK, UK grime.

SPEAKER_03 12:46

Yeah, listen, it's it's never, it's never death.

SPEAKER_04 12:49

It's where I started, like as a kid in school, listening to the rappers Devlin P Money.

SPEAKER_02 12:55

Devilin'. Devlin.

SPEAKER_03 12:59

Step into frequency. This is for your airwaves. Broadcasting fresh energy, deep cuts, and underground sounds every month.

SPEAKER_06 13:07

From soundful grooves to late night rollers. This is music for your mind.

SPEAKER_03 13:13

Every third Sunday of the month, or listen back in Thomas SoundCloud. Lock in, tune out the noise, and ride the wave. For your airwaves, only on our Jimmy's.

SPEAKER_00 13:24

So, yeah, we saw my tracks of live rotation, weren't we? Yeah. After the tracks, we've got you personally joined right now. Yeah. Cool. Okay, ask the question, go ahead. Um what was he talking about? We're talking about country music. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the current state of the UK scene, obviously, there's so many glass uh glass fruits, grass venues, pause.

SPEAKER_06 13:44

Pause, but then finish what that sounds. Just pause.

SPEAKER_00 13:50

Yeah, I have to do it then. Okay, three, two, one, say it again. So obviously, the state of the UK scene right now, there's grassroots venues and stuff closing everywhere. Um, how is it impacting artists such as yourself? Have you found it kind of more difficult to find places to play in? Have you just sort of noticed a difference?

SPEAKER_04 14:06

What's this uh it's getting a lot more difficult to try and get bookings and get paid or try and get like a decent paid booking. Um a lot of venues don't have the capability to they want a packed lineup without a budget. Without a budget, and it's literally killing the scene, and that's why people aren't going out or people new people coming into the scene aren't going to discover new artists.

SPEAKER_00 14:35

That's right, to be fair, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 14:36

They want to go see the big headliners instead of seeing the undiscovered people that have so much talent and having their brought their horizons broadened.

SPEAKER_03 14:46

Yeah. They're like, oh no, and this is no, this is no knock to defect it or hospitality, for example, but they're gonna gravitate towards the brands that are popping off and the big brands.

SPEAKER_04 14:57

The things that are pushed out on social media and just like pumped out in your face, targeted ads. Yeah, like that kills grassroots venues and small little like self-promoters and things like that.

SPEAKER_00 15:11

Destroys it. It makes me feel like if I was an artist as well, I'd want to play the little places that aren't sort of like not exact not necessarily succeeding, but need the help. Yeah, seems like you're doing that through it.

SPEAKER_04 15:22

Yeah, so Goddard's doing the thing at the moment, he's helping grassroots venues. Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:26

Sam Devine's doing it as well. There are some people trying to help. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 15:31

Yeah, and obviously, I'm working with Sound City Festival that's a cro grassroots festival.

SPEAKER_02 15:36

Sound city festival.

SPEAKER_04 15:37

Sound city shower, Ollie and Mike. Yeah, get your tickets, come down, see me. That is towards Gatwick Way.

SPEAKER_03 15:46

We're gonna go. We'll find it out.

SPEAKER_04 15:48

In September, start of September. Um, lineup this year is massive.

SPEAKER_06 15:53

Yeah, it's big.

SPEAKER_04 15:54

And I can't wait to see the stage. Uh Skankyard, we've got the whole of Planet Grunt from Boomtown.

SPEAKER_03 16:01

Nice!

SPEAKER_04 16:03

Big fire, big pyro, and big rigs that go burr.

SPEAKER_02 16:08

That's my favorite.

SPEAKER_04 16:10

Everybody that loved elusive balltar, like that is the way that we're going. Um it's huge, massive rigs there this year. Um, go check it out, go see their pages.

unknown 16:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 16:24

Go get your tickets.

SPEAKER_03 16:25

Sha, throw me the phone because we are, if you haven't noticed, if you have the scene, we are not in our usual. We are trying to find a home.

SPEAKER_04 16:34

We're in the dungeons.

SPEAKER_03 16:35

We're in the dungeons. Welcome to my humble abode. This is a dungeon, and we live here now.

SPEAKER_04 16:39

It's a pretty cool place though.

SPEAKER_01 16:40

We're on number. We haven't got the rest of the questions. I've gone. Oh, oh my god. Question 11. What have I sent you here? I'm so confused. You've got them.

SPEAKER_03 16:57

Well, here we go. Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 17:01

Luckily, the video they got asked to do the podcast has the questions that he's going to be asked.

SPEAKER_03 17:06

I was prepared. The person that needs them doesn't you know what I mean. Anyway. So, we'll talk about a little bit of the unsustainability, right? Do you think the music industry and club scene is sustainable in its current form? If not, what do you think needs to be changed?

SPEAKER_04 17:23

Uh, it's going to, it's always gonna sustain itself. Music is going to go around like a merry-go-round.

SPEAKER_06 17:30

Yeah, like fashion repeats itself.

SPEAKER_04 17:32

Everybody has a birthday, everybody wants to go out, it's not gonna stop.

SPEAKER_06 17:35

No.

SPEAKER_04 17:36

The prices are gonna keep going up until they start coming down. That's unfortunate.

SPEAKER_03 17:41

Ticket prices brilliant. Ticket prices, drinks prices, just we'll we'll quickly touch on uh this is a very, very recent thing. Let's talk about Ticketmaster, Live Nation, where the CEO has literally made comments about best take, let's take all the money we can. Let's rob them blind. And if you're listening, not that you are, but Live Nation Ticketmaster, sort it out. No, not even sort it out, just abolish them. Yeah, yeah. They control and hone all of it, yeah, and yet they are literally ruining grassroots, ruining live music because it's all about money and it's a business.

SPEAKER_00 18:17

I was getting tickets for a gig recently and I fully said if I can buy them on Ticketmaster, I'm not going. Yeah, yeah. But I don't want to put my money into playing like things like that.

SPEAKER_03 18:24

That's it, for real. For real.

SPEAKER_04 18:26

Might as well just buy them all scalpers.

SPEAKER_03 18:31

100%. 100%, right? So, life outside and music then. So, what do you do outside of your outside of music to look after your brain and make that well being?

SPEAKER_04 18:41

Uh I work on cars, so I help friends and family with like mechanical work. I run my own DJ company.

SPEAKER_03 18:51

Now, this now all DJs take note. If you have equipment and you need it to be serviced, or a new knob to be replaced.

SPEAKER_04 19:00

Or break a fader, because you're slamming it into the top.

SPEAKER_03 19:05

So hard. Bubbles, yeah, faders.

SPEAKER_04 19:12

Everything dex lights, amps, speakers, the whole lot. I service, repair them, and I do it mobily and I can't work out of a hub from like Newbery Fatch and Way. Um yeah, that's my day-to-day life.

SPEAKER_00 19:32

Bread and butter.

SPEAKER_04 19:33

Yeah. Do that and then DJing and You mentioned going on walks and stuff like that. Yeah, so I walk the dog a lot. She loves the woods.

SPEAKER_03 19:42

Sorry, I had to- Oh, it's sorry.

SPEAKER_04 19:45

Just a water bottle.

SPEAKER_03 19:46

Love your dog.

SPEAKER_04 19:49

Yes. That family. Um yeah, I'd like doing a bit of stealth camping in the van. Just okay.

SPEAKER_00 19:57

I've still not done that.

SPEAKER_04 19:58

Just pull up, pull up in the van somewhere.

SPEAKER_00 20:00

I'd love to do that.

SPEAKER_04 20:01

In the woods, in a car park, just somewhere and just chill out for the night. Yeah, that's right. Just switch off. Turn the phone off, switch off.

SPEAKER_03 20:10

Getting out of Wi-Fi, out of all the wobwobs and the frequencies, and just looking at the put put some pretty lights on and just vibe.

SPEAKER_05 20:18

Yeah, yeah, that's pretty good for your thing.

SPEAKER_04 20:20

Um that been working with my little family. She likes doing little art projects. So we're getting like bits of wood, painting them, spray painting them. She just goes and creative.

SPEAKER_06 20:33

Got some vibe.

SPEAKER_03 20:34

Nah.

SPEAKER_04 20:34

So just what whatever comes to her head, she's just like bang, just like it's a good thing.

SPEAKER_03 20:37

Well, having that creative release in it, that creative process without it being on a Mac making music.

SPEAKER_00 20:44

It's nice to hear about kids just doing kids' stuff, though.

SPEAKER_04 20:48

Well, I like building furniture out of wood, so I take scaffold boards and scaffold poles, make furniture out of them.

SPEAKER_03 20:56

Um DJs aren't just DJs, guys.

SPEAKER_04 20:59

We don't just well, I'm I'm an engineer at heart, so I like making things with my hands. I make things with my hands and I fix things.

SPEAKER_03 21:08

Well, you're taking apart a controller and fixing one minor thing. Like everyone's like, wow, you lift up the board, you're like, I'm just like, oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 21:14

Somebody spill a drink. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 21:17

Buy a new one.

SPEAKER_00 21:19

Literally buy a new one.

SPEAKER_05 21:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:22

So any more questions for us? Um, I think mine was mainly just around kind of um what music sort of means to you. And obviously, like, you know, we spoke a little bit about um your mashups and stuff like that. When when you do sets and stuff, are they predominantly mashups, or do you play your own tunes?

SPEAKER_04 21:35

No, I don't actually play any of my own songs out because I've produced a few, never released them because I don't think they're good enough. But I am this year, I am this year working really hard on getting some music out and working with some good friends and just getting some bits done, working my MC, MC Slady. Big shout out to him. He should have been here, but he's not.

SPEAKER_03 22:00

But it's alright. We can bring it back another time.

SPEAKER_04 22:03

It's Mother's Day, so it is Mother's Day.

SPEAKER_03 22:05

It is Mother's Day.

SPEAKER_04 22:06

Shout out to all your mums.

SPEAKER_03 22:08

Shout out to all your mums. We're here doing well. This is important because just by coming on having a chat and talking about all these wonderful topics we're talking about, you don't realise the impact it can have just by being a voice, just by coming on and having a conversation that inspires others. Just chat.

SPEAKER_04 22:28

Just just helping people know that you can just talk about general things. Doesn't have to be about what you're going through or what you've been through.

SPEAKER_00 22:37

I think it's a huge problem with blokes anyway, isn't it? Because a lot of blokes don't talk to each other.

SPEAKER_04 22:40

Yeah, there's a lot, there's a lot of stigma that I said this the other day to my friend. I was like, we don't chill out with each other anymore, don't play Xbox, play games like we used to. Like, I don't see the neighbours playing with kids anymore. Like neighbours' kids don't knock for each other. Yeah. There's nothing like social like that. Yeah, yeah. And community projects are obviously struggling as well. Well, there's no funding, there's no problem. Yeah, there's no funding for that. So it's just kind of creates a divide. So music creates the space for people to feel free and dance and just kind of connect and just doesn't have to be all flat out all the time. Yeah, chill out, chill out zones.

SPEAKER_00 23:20

Doesn't involve words, you know? Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 23:23

But music is therapy to me at the end of the day. It's everything. I listen to it 24-7, wake up, put music on.

SPEAKER_00 23:31

Wake up, country. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 23:33

Yeah. Literally, fat playlist, dirty tunes, big bass. BAM!

SPEAKER_03 23:37

I know my mood, and I'm like, I'm not going to listen to music today. That's what I feel about this.

SPEAKER_04 23:43

I drive the car and I'm like, why haven't I turned the music on? Yeah. I'm like, why am I driving so angry?

SPEAKER_03 23:50

Yeah, I'll turn the jump off off. It's just to take the job. Yeah, it's okay. So you've been building momentum with festival bookings, label conversations, and things like that. Hospitality weekender.

SPEAKER_04 24:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:02

Were you a hospitality at Butlins? Were you about? Were you involved in it?

SPEAKER_04 24:05

Yeah, so I was there. So MC Anime, she took me as her driver because me and her are really good friends.

SPEAKER_00 24:12

Hey, cool, they're good opportunity.

SPEAKER_04 24:13

Yeah. And so we go everywhere together. And so she asked me to come to Butlins with her. Spent the weekend there doing a bit of networking, just getting about, just seeing people. And yeah, we just had a good vibe, good crack. Um who's playing there? God, everybody had played. Everybody. It was it was hospitality. Everybody, everyone of their names. Covercope metric. Uh Pew Money Whiny.

SPEAKER_00 24:40

Gifter. Yeah, Gifter was there.

SPEAKER_04 24:43

Yeah, Dylan Jarsson. Um anime was on with Brody doing uh new track with Brian G.

SPEAKER_02 24:50

Right.

SPEAKER_04 24:51

And just seeing them two just jumping around on the middle of that rig. Oh being kicked in the chest by a valve rig is an experience that everyone needs to have.

SPEAKER_03 25:01

Yeah, it's like a right person.

SPEAKER_04 25:03

It's soul cleansing.

SPEAKER_03 25:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 25:04

Did you just feel your skeleton moving? It's all the time.

SPEAKER_03 25:10

So dream back to back.

SPEAKER_04 25:12

Ooh.

SPEAKER_03 25:13

You can pick two.

SPEAKER_04 25:15

I'd love to back to back Wilkinson.

SPEAKER_03 25:18

Ah. But I saw it.

SPEAKER_04 25:19

Only because I got smoke and lasers, love and ravens towed on my arm. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:24

Oh, a little afterglow, too.

SPEAKER_04 25:25

Because after glow saved my life. Oh, beautiful. Um, during a suicide attempt. So really, okay. There we go. That's that's that's how that's how deep the mental health goes.

SPEAKER_03 25:36

Yeah, and listen, the whole point is that that's okay. Because you're like, that was a part of my life. I'm peeing out, thank God for afterglow because it's very shit.

SPEAKER_04 25:45

It just it just came on, I heard it, and I was like, no, no, no, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:49

No, not today. But this is how this is the impact, and this is where it's so important because yourself, okay, you could buy a pad or whatever. It's not even that, it's sometimes that's just you feel like that's your only way out, yeah, and I wouldn't miss out on my way.

SPEAKER_04 26:05

No, it's just trying to function day to day. Getting up in the morning, getting yourself into a routine, just making sure you stay functioning.

SPEAKER_03 26:13

That's right.

SPEAKER_04 26:13

Don't just don't sit idle.

SPEAKER_00 26:16

Because it wallows, then it gets worse.

SPEAKER_04 26:18

Then you're like, right, I'm not moving here.

SPEAKER_00 26:20

But it's just in the mindset that it will get better as well. Do you know what I mean? Waking yourself up a little in a way, you know?

SPEAKER_04 26:25

Yeah, well, I heard the best thing uh from Tom Hanks the other day. It was uh the good times they pass, and the bad times will pass. Yeah, everything will you just take that moment as it comes, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:40

Whenever things get shit, I go, it'll pass. Just it'll it'll pass.

SPEAKER_04 26:44

Every moment matters and things will be alright at the end of the day. And as long as you've got a support group around you, or just a safe space to be by yourself, like that's the main thing at the end of the day. And just check in on your mates, just drop drop a text every now and again. How are you doing, bud?

SPEAKER_00 27:05

Exactly. You're right. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, and the thing is look again, especially with blokes as well, like not it's I think it's getting better, but not enough blokes talk to each other about how things actually are, like up here kind of thing.

SPEAKER_04 27:16

No, so uh in August last year, I lost three friends on the be on the same weekend.

SPEAKER_00 27:23

Fuck.

SPEAKER_04 27:23

To suicide.

SPEAKER_00 27:25

Yeah, that's some heavy news. Jesus.

SPEAKER_04 27:27

Yeah, and then my set of elusive was at the same time as my best mate's funeral.

SPEAKER_00 27:32

Right.

SPEAKER_04 27:32

So I had to be elusive because it was the last elusive. Um but I wouldn't have gone out of the stage with that.

SPEAKER_03 27:39

Yeah, yeah, of course you could have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And that's the this is this is why we've got this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's beyond we've lost we're left. Through loss, I found purpose.

SPEAKER_06 27:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:50

We started for your mind, we're now branching out because it is important. Listen, mental health doesn't discriminate, so that's why we can have a different job. We want I'm gonna have every single person from all walks of life, DJs, artists, roadies, like people that that do guest lists. It well, yeah, just it's it's it's okay to not have a good day. It's okay to have that darkest moment when you don't want to be here anymore. Yeah, it's how you rise from the actual.

SPEAKER_04 28:18

Well, I spend every evening when I get into bed, I'll text all my mates.

SPEAKER_06 28:23

Just check in.

SPEAKER_04 28:24

How you doing, bud? I'm home now. Just let you know.

SPEAKER_01 28:28

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:30

Just to make sure that everybody knows that they're gonna either wake up with a message or just know that I'm good and not I'm thinking about them.

SPEAKER_00 28:38

Yeah. There's also some relief in knowing that like you've got your mates and they got you as well. Do you know what I mean? So, like you said about having a support network and stuff. It's really good.

SPEAKER_04 28:44

Well, I I I start worrying when I don't hear from my friends from like a couple of hours or days. Yeah, we're gonna go. And I'm like, I'm like, are you just on a bender or are you missing? Yeah, what's going on? Pick your phone up. Yeah, we'll get and he's like, sorry, but I'm sleeping.

SPEAKER_03 29:01

Yeah, I was just freaked out. That usually is the claim. Yeah, I'm having kids.

SPEAKER_04 29:05

I was like, oh, just bang yeah, the car comes in your house.

SPEAKER_03 29:09

So we'll do last question, we'll round up. What would you say to your 18-year-old self?

SPEAKER_04 29:15

Ooh, so I'm 32 now. I was 18-year-old, I was DJing clubs, and I thought I was doing good at mixing and managing nightlife. And more pace yourself, don't stress yourself.

SPEAKER_05 29:34

Um don't bend over backwards for everyone.

SPEAKER_04 29:39

Like know your worth, pick what you want, go with that, and just be strong and be strong-willed. Know what you need, know what you want from it, and that's how you attack it. And that's a good message. Just don't let anybody say no, you're doing it for that. Yeah. No, trust yourself, trust your doubt. Trust your instinct.

SPEAKER_03 30:02

It's hard. Especially we live in a world where it's very easy for you for you to well, you doubt yourself. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 30:09

We all we're all human, we all you go, Well, what's the point? Yeah. Like, oh. But I've been doing a lot more free shows, like free gigs, yeah, just to A help with branching myself out, get myself more known, and also, as we say, helping grassroots venues and just doing things more. Like, doing never playing around yourself, really. Yeah. I just like being out and just seeing people smiling. I'm just gonna say, as as I said, if I didn't have to be paid or if I didn't need money to live, I would I would do my job for free.

SPEAKER_03 30:46

Well, we've got some free parties that we can't wait to announce.

SPEAKER_06 30:49

Not now, but in the future, because yeah, well, the economy's absolutely in pickles and so you know, like I said, it's about we're we're gonna be in a position where it is about the community and we're gonna put on the party and go come to this and then we'll go through there.

SPEAKER_03 31:07

But it's look, thank you so much for coming on today.

SPEAKER_04 31:10

That's cool. Um, just gonna say one last thing. Go, I was gonna say I'm doing two local festivals in Thatcham. Thatcham. So we're doing sound and light, things like that. So just check out your local community, things you going on, family events, family days.

SPEAKER_03 31:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 31:29

Just get down, just go and do things. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:32

Explore. Don't just go to Wembley Arena. Yeah. Look at the Oslo, look at all the smaller.

SPEAKER_04 31:38

Don't go to the big things because it's been pushed in your face on social media. Just go outside your front door, go see what's going down. Yeah. Just go put yourself in a weird situation for a little while.

SPEAKER_03 31:50

Look at what we're doing. Follow a little bit of weaker.

SPEAKER_04 31:54

I got myself here. Um, it was stressful, but I'm here. We did it. Great fun as well. Yeah. Can't wait for some like festival season to get done. And some more events happening soon.

SPEAKER_00 32:08

Yeah, gorgeous.

SPEAKER_04 32:10

But thank you guys for having me.

SPEAKER_03 32:11

Um have a gorgeous Sunday.

SPEAKER_04 32:13

See you guys soon.

SPEAKER_03 32:14

Big up to your mothers.

SPEAKER_04 32:15

Yeah, shout out to your mums.

SPEAKER_03 32:19

A big thank you to Kateva for joining us and sharing his story. We truly appreciate your openness and energy. And as always, big love to my co-host Shaw Warner. If anything discussed in this podcast has felt distressing or has affected you in any way, please know that support is available. You're not alone, and it's important to reach out. For example, you can contact Samaritans for phrase confidential support. Or speak to a trusted friend, family member, member of a professional. Take care of yourself, and thank you for listening to Disco Brain Talks.