Talking Shit with Doug, Ryan, and Angelo
Welcome to Talking Shit with Doug, Ryan, and Angelo – the no-holds-barred podcast where we dive into the week’s hottest topics with unfiltered opinions, razor-sharp wit, and a healthy dose of dark humor. Nothing is off-limits as we tackle everything from pop culture and current events to life’s absurdities, all while keeping it raw, real, and ridiculously entertaining.
Grab a drink, sit back, and prepare to laugh, cringe, and maybe even question your life choices – we’re here to talk shit, and we’re not holding back.
Talking Shit with Doug, Ryan, and Angelo
The Couch Chronicles: Tech Rants and Zombie Plans
Doug and Ryan explore how major corporations are increasingly controlling our devices through software limitations while charging extra for features already built into products we've purchased.
• Tesla builds cars with hardware for heated seats and premium audio but charges extra to "activate" them
• Verizon "deprioritizes" phone calls for customers who don't upgrade plans, creating artificial service problems
• The Fast and Furious franchise may have killed car culture rather than inspiring it
• Dangerous trends like street takeovers and subway surfing are claiming young lives
• Zombie survival tactics include securing ports and forming boat fleets rather than barricading in buildings
• The Right to Repair movement faces new challenges as cars become increasingly software-defined
• Elon Musk's ventures beyond Tesla include military applications through SpaceX, robotics, and Neuralink
Thanks for listening! Like, subscribe and join us next week for more unfiltered conversations on the couches.
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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the couches. As always, this is your host. Don't Know Shit, doug. I'm hanging out on the couch tonight with Ryan. Angelo decided to take the week off because he's a lazy son of a bitch. May you burn in hell, angelo. Whole day, yep, yep, whole day. Whole week. He's gone. He's gone. Yeah, he left us. Left us on the couch. Yeah, hosting alone. Nah, we miss you, buddy. Yeah, you can still burn in hell, though, wow, torture him so, ry. How are you, buddy? How was your week?
Speaker 2:My week was pretty good, not too bad. Anything eventful happen, not really it rained.
Speaker 1:Yeah, eventful happen, not really it rained.
Speaker 2:No, yeah, yeah you didn't have a protest in your front yard or anything like that. No, no, no, no. I was driving around and I saw a uh, I saw a tesla with a sticker on it that said I bought this before elon went crazy oh well, ouch yeah I'm sorry, I don't think I don't think elon went crazy.
Speaker 1:I think everybody just turned their back on him.
Speaker 2:Oh, for sure no. I don't believe the sticker, but I believe that it was a liberal driving, oh well he's driving a Tesla.
Speaker 1:I was talking to my dad about this earlier today and I'm like unfortunately. I do appreciate the fact that Elon made the major sacrifice by kind of walking away from his business to go and push for what he believes in politically and unfortunately, going against the liberal party was going against his like major consumer base yeah elon, elon, you don't deserve this.
Speaker 1:no, you don't, buddy, no you don't, and sorry, I mean your truck. Uh, as cool as, like people say, it is, anybody on the conservative side, they're going to buy a Ford, they're going to buy a Chevy, they're going to buy your atypical American backbone truck. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Savage trucks? Not for me.
Speaker 1:Not for me either.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I like Elon man. I was never into the cyberpunk scene like that futuristic thing was never my jam. No, Nah, no, no, no. I only like neon for like a short period of my life. Oh a neon, yeah, like the neon colors.
Speaker 2:Oh, I thought you meant like the Dodge neon.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, I'm actually not too familiar with that car. Was it a decent car?
Speaker 2:No, it was a piece of shit, all right, I didn't know.
Speaker 1:There's people out there who love them, I'm sure. Yeah, probably Fans of that shit. I feel like I've still got mine from 12th grade. Yeah, still going strong.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a terrible car.
Speaker 1:Is it still on the market?
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:No, they no longer sell that model.
Speaker 2:No, there's people they like souped it up or whatever.
Speaker 1:They sold parts for it, I think, but wasn't my cup of tea is this like a honda, where you can just go down to the like the store and buy like?
Speaker 2:it might.
Speaker 1:It might have been like uh, yeah, an answer to honda you know, yeah, you pay a hundred dollars worth of parts and you can get like another 20 horsepower.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, you gotta know what you're doing, I guess but um well, with honda, no, you just.
Speaker 1:I mean it's cheap, you just run it until the thing pops. Yeah, just get new parts. They're like 20 bucks. Go down, put the thing back in.
Speaker 2:Economically, yeah, the vehicle is pretty good Honda, that is, in terms of like longevity and, yeah, the cost of parts typically were cheaper. I don't know how that is now.
Speaker 1:Well, don't get me wrong. I mean, honda makes one hell of a dirt bike. I mean, honda's four-stroke is a beast. They're making Formula One racing engines now, which are absolutely incredible, Really. Oh yeah, no. So I mean, they definitely have their hand in a lot of different areas, but when it comes down to, let's say, our neck of the woods, the people that are riding around in hondas are buying them because they can buy cheap parts for them and they can soup them up and make them look like fast and furious cars yeah, yeah, well, that was an era for sure.
Speaker 2:You know, the uh fast and the furious definitely helped that era of people who wanted to modify their vehicles and uh, do you think that era is over? Or for most, I think it's done. But uh, there are those guys out there who are like still enthusiasts and are still working on them, those cars you know to this day, and what's funny is like the vast majority of them have problems with police stopping them with their loud cars and stuff. So like, uh, yeah, it was a fad.
Speaker 1:I'm sure there's a list there. I think there's like domestic disputes and like like strong armed robberies up that alley like yeah, I mean I've been.
Speaker 2:I wasn't really part of that scene, but I mean, you know, I did drive around a lot as a, you know, a teenager or whatever yo I I saw fast and furious, they'll steal your safe.
Speaker 1:Yeah and drive it down the road and bring a tank with them, okay, so you gotta watch out for those type of people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that was it, that wasn't, that wasn't uh. That movie was uh italian job. Which one? The mini coopers when they pull the safe right, isn't that it?
Speaker 1:uh, they do that through the sewers, but I believe in one of the fastest later. Fast and furious oh, no I think I think it was. Yeah, there was like a double cable that was one.
Speaker 2:Oh, that was. That was with the uh, yeah, with the rock, right uh yeah, that one had the rock in it.
Speaker 1:He was in a couple of them and then john cena came oh then it was it right.
Speaker 2:Well, no, I mean they're coming up with a new one, right?
Speaker 1:well, probably why not? I mean, the franchise still makes money even though it's absolutely terrible. The newest one was at garbage. I mean it was dog shit, but I sat through it. I watched the whole thing, yeah, and like I was still rooting for the like dog shit movie. I enjoyed the first one, oh yeah, the first one.
Speaker 1:I mean, most first movies, most introductory movies, are the best I mean that's like where you start your journey with these people and like, unfortunately, it's the second and third movie, whether it was written part of like a chronicle, where the author actually sat down and like thought it all the way through. Or the first one made a shit ton of money, so they're like, ah, we better make a second one so we can make a shit more. Like shit, more money. And that's how it ruins. The franchise is when, like they, there is no actual direction going from the first one into the second one. It's just a cash grab. They're like we need more money. This thing made us a shit ton of money. Let's get all our writers to go ahead and work on this thing. And it's never as good as the authentic thing that was created out of someone's hardship or someone's happiness.
Speaker 2:I mean, the story did go on, so I don't Listen. I watched it and I've seen quite a few of them. I'm not a super fan or anything like that, but watching it know, uh, yeah, there was consistency from the first one to the second one. There was still the same, as long as I guess they included some of the same members. The plot was kind of different, right, but like you know, some members were still there. I don't remember the specifics, but I do remember there is some. The story continued, right, so it wasn't like it was completely out of the water. Weird surprise things kind of were supposed to happen. Did they happen? I don't remember, but it was one of those franchises.
Speaker 1:Hell of a storyteller. Let me tell you If you ever need someone to come to your campfire and keep you riveted, Are you on the edge of your seat?
Speaker 2:Don't invite me, because I ain't going to have a good story.
Speaker 1:You guys will go to sleep early that night. I'm all over the fucking place.
Speaker 2:I remember the first one. That's all I really cared about. I think that there was some cohesiveness between the first, second, third. What was that girl's name? Lottie or whatever? What was that? His girlfriend or his sister, or somebody like came back from like the dead or some shit? The problem is that I don't remember the story and so I'm like, ah man, I know that it was, it kind of followed, you know. But anyway, I didn't even want to talk about Honda's or any of that stuff.
Speaker 1:I wanted to get into how strange elon musk was. What? What? Hold on, okay, I'm sorry we drifted, we did. Oh well, I liked how you used that. You used the car term yeah, we drifted around that corner. Okay, you go, all right. Um, okay, we can roll back to not that tokyo drift I mean, yeah, um another, another fast and furious reference.
Speaker 2:All right, yeah, all day we're just gonna keep throwing them out all night.
Speaker 1:We're just gonna I mean, yeah, another Fast and Furious reference.
Speaker 2:All right, all day. We're just going to keep throwing them out all night. We're just going to rant, though Like something else we're going to bring one out?
Speaker 1:Nah, man. So yeah, the Fast and Furious franchises were decent for what they were. I mean, they progressively got worse and worse and then they had to bring on larger and larger actors to keep the boat afloat. And that's where we're at right now. I mean guys like explosions, aliens and tits and aliens with big, exploding tits. So I mean you give them a movie that's in that movie. No, I was like I'm trying to dig it out. I don't remember Men in Black. I was like I'm trying to dig it out.
Speaker 2:I don't remember Men in Black. I'm all confused right now.
Speaker 1:Oh, you missed the fifth one.
Speaker 2:I guess so.
Speaker 1:That's when shit got weird. They're like oh, chargers in space, baby.
Speaker 2:What's with that man? What's with all these movie things going into space?
Speaker 1:Well, they kind of take it to space. Space is the final frontier, I guess.
Speaker 2:So I mean, what was it like Jason versus Freddie in space, or something like that?
Speaker 1:Oh, no, no, no, Jason versus Freddie was back here, like at Camp Crystal Lake. They started off in what was it? On Elm Street and from Elm Street they were led back to Camp Crystal Lake and that's where you had the big fight, which wasn't that big of a fight. I think they should have, like, really drawn that out a bit bigger. But that's from a big horror fan. So, yeah, they never went to space, but Jason did. Jason, actually, jason's like a children's novel. Yeah, jason goes to summer camp. Jason goes to New York, jason goes to. Yeah, like Jason goes to wherever, like Jason's on a new adventure. Where's jason going today? Jason brought his machete and he's off to see the camp. Oh, jason brought his machete, he's off to see new york city. And, like, we're on another adventure with jason vorhees. So pack your bags and, ladies and gentlemen, we're off to see jason war. He's on another adventure, yeah man.
Speaker 2:Um, we're just all over the place. Oh, I'm sorry, yeah, but uh, yeah, so no, as far as like the.
Speaker 2:So the reason we talked about the cars in the first place was about you know honda right and the lemmas, but the honda thing was that there was an error right and I believe that fierce and the furious made it happen or me, brought some more attention to it, which is the uh, you know, auto enthusiast hobby of like, uh, modifying and racing cars, right, um, but yeah, so like, uh, well, as far as um that goes today, I don't really think it's all that really there that much. I mean, there's a big euro thing, um, more so than I think, than the foreign terms of like hondas so do you think for us?
Speaker 1:and the furious like killed a generation, like that was the end of it, because, if you think about it, there was tons and tons of different movies about racing cars up until that point. So I mean, you had the what was it? Um, the good old boys, we just some good old boys. Um, duke's a hazard. Yeah, they were about driving fast cars and pushing moonshine. And then you went from that to, uh, smoky and the bandit dude got a trans. Am, sexy shit like that was awesome. Burt reynolds doing his thing, yeah, like, yeah. And so you had all that going on up until fast and furious and did fast and furious kill it. For, like, the next generation was. They were like oh, I don't want to be a car enthusiast if that's what a car enthusiast looks like um, maybe to an extent, but I don't really think so.
Speaker 2:I, I think that, um, I think that there it definitely just, you know, uh, glorified it a little bit and uh, people, you know it opened up more doors, so to speak, to people who you know they gained interest in enticed people. Oh hey, check out this whole thing that's happening here. Is it real? You know most people when they see it and it's funny, like you see it in the movies you're like no, that's you know, but it is. Nitrous oxide is real.
Speaker 1:Speaking of that, yeah, what is that little sport that the Utes of the inner city are doing these days, where they do like donuts in the middle of the intersection?
Speaker 2:Oh, that's so stupid. Yeah, yeah, so does that have a name?
Speaker 1:Yeah, intersection. Oh, that's so stupid. Yeah, yeah, so does that have a name? Yeah, it's called street takeover, street take wait. No, that sounds like a dance-off.
Speaker 2:No, it's called a street takeover. So yeah, they've been doing it. It's dangerous what they're doing. I mean listen, now there's a time and a place for like doing donuts right, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, I used to do them. I ain't gonna lie, did them. You know, everybody tried it. You know what I'm saying, of course, a parking lot. Yeah, nobody around.
Speaker 1:Go to jones beach didn't want to really like.
Speaker 2:I wasn't trying to show off with my with my donut, though you know I wasn't like maybe a couple, maybe it was a handful of people like in other cars, not a crowd. Let me do fucking donuts. Uh, uncontrollable donuts. I mean, come on, man, and you're like running over the crowd.
Speaker 1:Oh, smacking them with society hurting people and then you have idiots hanging outside the car oh, and they're falling off of it and they're getting ran over by the same vehicle. Oh, it's brutal. It's just like is that gen z? Yeah, I guess.
Speaker 2:I guess that's the new motor scene instead of actually driving your vehicle, you just go around in circles a lot, act like like a total tard and just go hardcore, run each other over oh, I've seen so many pieces get smacked off.
Speaker 1:The vehicle like it goes around in circles, hits a light, light post, back fender, breaks off and you're like dude.
Speaker 2:My thing is like, yeah, the people that get hurt, man. And like the, the car flips over and it falls on the fucking people who are hanging outside the window. And you know, luckily there's people there who try to help the people, but there's people, I'm sure, who were affected to this day permanently, like maybe disabled and or dead. So, it's like why, why, why?
Speaker 1:If you were to put an urban Olympics together, do you think we should make this part of the urban Olympics?
Speaker 2:An urban Olympics.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, so I'm thinking like the milk crate game. Yeah, so we do the milk crate game that was the hood olympics yeah, the hood, oh hood, olympics okay, so they did it in the hood, so do you think this should be an event as well?
Speaker 2:you know, we'll put the car out there I mean it's kind of like a bull and it's like who can get out of the ring without I mean, it's one of the dumb things that people or I should say younger people are doing, and I don't know why.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean in the subways. I honestly have heard the announcements as you're going through the subways and they're like please do not climb on top of the subways and surf the subways. It's moronic, you can get killed. And I'm killed and I was like, okay, and I've heard these for a while, but it wasn't until I took the, I think the r. You saw somebody do it. Yeah, I'm like, hey, I look, I look at the kids and the kids come out and get in between the two carts and like they're starting to climb up the chain and I'm looking at them. Now, mind you, I've I like to live on a little extreme in my life. I like to do a lot of crazy things, I mean okay, there's nothing on the edge yeah, if you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space.
Speaker 1:I don't know who said that. It's not my quote, but yeah it's a good quote.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, I'm looking at these two kids walking out and all of a sudden they start climbing on the chain to get on top of the train and I think to myself I'm like, oh man, like half of me, like the kid in me, wants to go join them so I can understand where the drive is, and the like, excitement and the exhilaration of being able to like get up and like face your fears. But then at the same time I'm like there's a bunch of man-made shit that can just decapitate me instantly up there, like I mean thinking about the odds and yeah, you waited Right.
Speaker 2:You were like, hmm, the risk versus the thrill.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the risk to reward? I think the risk is way higher.
Speaker 2:It is yeah, you're like ah death or dismemberment or some thrill.
Speaker 1:No, it could be. No, like really think about the situation could be way worse than that, because those tunnels I mean personally I don't walk those tunnels, so I don't know how many times those tunnels are walked. When it comes down to like professionals going through the subways after the fact, yeah, so you could actually like fall off into the subways and be like sitting there like with a broken hip not being able to get up. You're oh yeah you're pretty much like in the dark, in the in the dark in the fucking train coming in the nastiness in the slime.
Speaker 1:No, no, no with the rats you'd want at this point in time you'd kind of want to be close enough to the train that it could take you out oh now you're like right, you're just like a little blob, you're a gimp off the side of the train, like honestly, there's too many things in those sewer systems that would like to eat you. You know, like a horde of rats comes through your dead meat, a horde of cockroaches. You want to be dead meat. Like you, you'd want to be eaten by the rats.
Speaker 2:At that point, let me ask you a question. Yeah, you, you ever seen Wile E Coyote?
Speaker 1:I have several times Roadrunner.
Speaker 2:I have you ever seen it when they go on top of the train and then fucking get hit by the tunnel? Yes, what Exactly? I mean, I would never want that.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying, right?
Speaker 2:Exactly Like oh, I'm on top of a train, I'm chasing a roadrunner. Oh, wait a minute.
Speaker 1:I shuttle, boom, he hits the mountain. You know well. Yeah, come on, guys. You've seen so many of the movies throughout time where they decided to fight on top of the train and it never worked out for the bad guy oh yeah, he always didn't look up in time to see the thing, the like obscure thing in his way that took him off. I mean, like the wolverine movie and like what was it? The trains, not train spotting, but the the train movie where they're going through and they're eating the bugs and the candy bars.
Speaker 2:I don't know about that one.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I don't know that one, all the rich people live in the front of the train and all the poor people live in the back of the train. No, I don't know that. And they're traveling over the frozen earth, frozen tundra, oh interesting.
Speaker 2:Yeah, not seen that one. No.
Speaker 1:That's definitely a rainy day movie.
Speaker 2:I can never think of the name of it. So you guys find out. You guys can write in let us know what that is.
Speaker 1:I know you guys know it, you're gonna be like dog. You're such an asshole. You don't know shit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, don't know shit, doug yeah yeah, I mean, you know there's a lot of thrill seekers out there. You know I'm saying, and like people are always gonna be doing crazy shit, whether it's fucking climbing on top of trains, surfing or fucking scaling the side of buildings with, just like you know, regular like rock climbing gear and like tape on their fingers- yeah, but I appreciate that guy yeah, yeah. Well, you like the sport right so I'm big into rock climbing.
Speaker 1:I love rock climbing like I've seen some videos.
Speaker 2:The other day the guy was like his hand was shaking. He's like oh, I'm tired, I need to rest. He's like a french guy, french guy.
Speaker 1:Was that your French accent? It tried.
Speaker 2:I like it.
Speaker 1:We should go to a French restaurant this weekend. You can order everything. No, I'm good.
Speaker 2:Anyway, yeah, so he's like panting and everything and I'm like why? I mean you know, and you know what's crazy he's like. He don't just go to the top, he scale back down.
Speaker 1:Wait, he climbed down.
Speaker 2:They go up and they go down.
Speaker 1:That's not a very smart idea.
Speaker 2:I don't know. It's a proof of skill. They have a statement that they're making. Part of me thinks that the statement I don't know what the statement is exactly.
Speaker 1:Don't eat meat.
Speaker 2:That might be part of it, that may be part of that may be one of the statements, but I think the most the main statement I think is that, like you know, the world used to be what it was before there was buildings. It was like mountains and trees and everything else Right. And so now animals use monkeys and everything else. Whatever he's able to climb things, now they can't. They can't climb the skyscraper, you know.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:You'll? They fucking like a chimpanzee, just fucking bolt out the woods and start climbing up the fucking skyscraper. You don't see that.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean like in concept. Yeah, when it comes down to like some of these post-apocalyptic movies, you see how like New York City has been, like retained by Mother Nature, and plants are growing all over.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, when it takes over, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Which would happen if we allowed it to.
Speaker 2:It's like seven days or like eight days after, like life stops on earth or whatever, and like they show you, like what it would look like.
Speaker 1:Like the overgrowth.
Speaker 2:I'm like damn, seven days, that's it. What the hell? No, no, no. They're working hard to keep that grass back.
Speaker 1:Exactly. Better not get rid of those illegal immigrants I'm just thinking of, like the fucking chia pet where it grows green.
Speaker 2:You know when you put the seeds on it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that shit doesn't grow that big in a week. It takes like 28 days to get like big and puffy you know, speaking of 28 days later, you know what's crazy. Hold on a second, you know what's crazy what when you go to the like, the health food stores where all the richy-rich girls go in to buy the smoothie shakes and whatnot. Okay, yeah, you know chia seeds. Yes, yeah, it's the same shit.
Speaker 2:Well, yay, yeah, ch-ch-ch-chia, I guess they just grow, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, Well, I guess I don't know. I mean, maybe they roast them or something and they're just non-functional. But if you could literally just take them and not have to like just throw them in the ground and to grow, then spread them on your chia thing, Then that's amazing.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, oh man, I forgot what talking about before that though oh, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1:I didn't mean to interrupt. I don't want to be that guy yeah, I totally blasted it.
Speaker 2:That thought is gone.
Speaker 1:Oh my bad. Well, you know what, guys, you can eat chia seeds oh yeah, 28 days later came right back in there.
Speaker 2:Another thing, speaking about memory, real quick. Did you know, supposedly, if you would have like been like oh man, it was 28 days later. You were talking about it. Actually like it, it doesn't. I guess it hurts your brain or something. Like if somebody corrects you Like, let's say, you can't recall it yourself, you like lose the ability to like your recollition. Oh my God, your ability to recall like you lost some of it. Oh, it's like an exercise or something.
Speaker 1:Yeah, wow.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean listen, this is what I was told.
Speaker 1:Is it kind of like when someone knows you're about to sneeze and they say bless you before you sneeze, and then it stops the sneeze from coming? Yeah, and you're like ugh, yeah, but you're still like your body still wants to sneeze.
Speaker 2:Your face hurts. Yeah, yeah, I hate everything about you. Yeah yeah, you're not welcome to my house anymore. Yeah, it's like that. It's like deep in the mind. You're like ugh, you know.
Speaker 1:But anyway, you stole my thunder.
Speaker 2:I was supposed to remember that fact it came out 28 years later I believe is the name of the new movie.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but is it going to be good?
Speaker 2:I mean, it's about zombies, right.
Speaker 1:And like the blood. Well, I mean, there's been some good zombie like the germs or whatever the virus. Some great zombie movies and there's been some shit zombie movies, so I don't remember how the last one ended the 28 days.
Speaker 2:Yeah, um, I know some like guy was sitting in like a crow, like was eating some shit and the blood went in the dude's eye and he's like he became like the zombie shit oh yeah, I remember that.
Speaker 1:My favorite part about that, I have to say, was the gentleman that went and collected all the shopping carts.
Speaker 2:What, yeah, I remember that.
Speaker 1:Oh, it was in the skyscraper. It was towards the beginning of the movie. I'll check it out. So he went to the skyscraper and this guy decided to go around and grab all the shopping carts and he filled up the hallway in the stairwell with shopping carts, ah, and it stopped the zombies from climbing to get through. Yeah, because that's a very complicated climb to get through. It's very like yeah, fucking all bent up chart. Yeah, yeah, exactly so. When I saw that, I was like, wow, that was that's very impressive.
Speaker 2:Like I'm taking notes. Yeah, exactly, yeah right.
Speaker 1:I still don't think I would ever bottle myself up inside of an apartment building. Yeah, I don't think that would be smart business. I mean, in a zombie apocalypse Camp out on the roof, we all have our different. No, no way, man, I think you're stinking yourself on an island to die.
Speaker 2:Well, if they're zombies, they'll be trying to climb up, and if you do those, the wagon thing won't be so bad. Or if you put some other kind of traps, maybe not so bad, but assuming that they did make it to the roof my dude, have you ever been you? Might have a better chance of just like you know, fighting them a little bit and like pushing them off the roof.
Speaker 1:I'm not just worried about zombies, man. You gotta think about the, the tar roof I'm standing on, depending on what time of year.
Speaker 2:Worry about cooking yeah, it could be 110 degrees up on that roof I don't have to worry about that.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna I'm gonna be dehydrated and dying on the roof all by myself and I don't get the ability to pop up and start running around eating people I mean, you know, I'm just gonna be a crisp corpse on top of a building that got dehydrated. So you got to think about, like, where you're going to be strategically.
Speaker 1:I think for me personally, yeah, it'd be fleet of boat style you've heard of uh arma I would go around and collect an armada of boats and like that's, that's how I think we'd travel is by boat, because ports have a lot of things in them and they're easily accessible and you can get a majority of the things from robbing ports and not robbing, but, you know, accumulating because nobody's living on the planet anymore, so it's not like you're actually taking your facility, but going around to the different port sections and going through the different boxes and stuff. I think you would stay alive, for, for, and actually live pretty well by collecting things that are coming and going out of a country, um, for, for a good while, cause that most people think about going to stores and stuff like that. Uh, you know, stop it as it comes in and as long as you guys have a nice structured way of addressing uh, going into these different sections, you guys can make sure that your flanks are and everything's well protected.
Speaker 1:as you're going in, you're accumulating all your equipment yeah and then, once you get it, you get back out on the boats. You get a large enough boat, you keep acquiring bigger boats until the point where you have enough people that you've saved and accumulated. And then you have a nice little fleet, including a couple cruise lines, and then, yeah, you've got floating cities. Fuck it. You know what? Let the zombies have the land.
Speaker 2:So there's a video game out there. It's for the PC. It's called Armor. I think it's like Armor 2 or Armor 3. They came out with a Years ago. They made like a DayZ mod and you could play. It was zombies, essentially. Okay, dayz, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know, dayz.
Speaker 2:And you played as a survivor Okay, and it was based on real time and, like your character, was your character for the, for the, for the world. So, like you entered the world, you had to find a place to say like to stay. You had to forage and find things and then, like you could talk, there was other people in the game. You had to watch out for other people in the game Cause they want to kill you and take your stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but yeah, and it was based on the game, it didn. The game didn't have like a safe point Like you would. You'd have to, like, sleep or hide somewhere and the next day you were still in that place. And every day you progress, you try to progress and survive. It's pretty sick.
Speaker 1:I've played a couple of those games. There they are, but once again those things give me anxiety.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm telling you like sleeping, you know you wake up in the morning. You're like sleeping, you wake up in the morning, you're like damn, I wonder if my guy died. Yeah, Somebody come hunt me in the night, or maybe a zombie. You wake up, you turn it on and it's like you died. Fuck yeah, like what the fuck? Who killed? Me, you don't even know, you have no idea.
Speaker 1:Like right before you went to sleep under that bush, you got like the most cool helmet or something. You accumulated something awesome and you're like I can't wait to get back on there and use this item. Come to find out, somebody came by and snuffed you out while you were sleeping.
Speaker 2:What was cool about Arma was that it was based on the time zone that the server you were logged in on. So if you logged in on a server that was in the Eastern Standard Time, it would be the same. So when it's daylight, real daylight, it's daylight in the game, and when it's nighttime. It's nighttime in the game.
Speaker 1:That's what you meant by that. See, I thought you said armor was based on time, and so if you're in the Japanese time period of 1 o'clock, then you get a kimono.
Speaker 2:You thought it was like, yeah, that'd be era.
Speaker 1:Like yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2:Like 1920s zombies. What would it be like?
Speaker 1:Get six shooters and like get to walk around like wild bill. That's awesome, I dig that. Yeah, yeah, somebody make that for me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we want to have a uh, an era. You know we want to have an era. We want to visit a certain time period like 1950s. That's been done probably right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, no, we need different eras, we need to take this back. We need Jesus, zombies okay.
Speaker 1:I want to be Paul at the Last Supper and then pick up something at the Last Supper to fight off the zombie horde that's coming through the Garden of Yosemite. Okay, that's what I want. Yeah, yeah, Okay. I want to go back to the Greek mythology of like the Battle of Troy and like, as the Battle of Troy and the two armies are coming and he's coming up to the wall, all of a sudden, just like zombie, like pops out and just starts eating the whore, like eating one person, and the whore just keeps going throughout the entire.
Speaker 1:Like the entire field and just yeah bring me like, bring me to like amazing historical locations, and then add a zombie horde yeah, zombies. The middle of rome, awesome gladiator event about to happen. All the kings and queens are moving in to see this giant event. Yeah, and then, all of a sudden, a zombie horde breaks out in the middle of ancient Rome.
Speaker 2:You know what's funny? There's guys out there who do that stuff and I've seen it online already where I't know why it was harry potter versus kermit the frog my money's on kermit all day. Yeah, but it was like an army of kermit the frogs, oh, like, oh, like a million something kermit the frogs versus like six harry potters who won?
Speaker 1:kermit the frog the fuck he did.
Speaker 2:I mean, they battled pretty good. There was like bodies. There was so many dead bodies of Kermit the Frog. There was a mountain and they were fighting on the mountain of dead bodies of Kermit the Frog still, which is pretty crazy. But yeah, it makes you wonder. Like well, anybody can build games now. You just download the engine and well, that's a tutorial, and that's it, I'm in.
Speaker 1:That's like how many, how many, what was it? How many 12 year olds do you think you could beat up if I was to send you into a room and like, let's, let's say hypothetically speaking- legit 12 year old legit 12 year olds. If I was to send you into a room and be like you, you you have to like be able to knock out this many 12-year-olds, otherwise you lose, right? How many 12-year-olds do you think you could actually legitimately fight and knock out before the horde overrides you and just completely swarms you?
Speaker 2:Well, so in this sense, you know, we're talking about Kermit the Frog, who is of certain stature.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:And the entirety of the army of Kermit the Frog are the same. So the question is will these 12-year-olds all be the same stature?
Speaker 1:Roughly, roughly. We're gonna make sure that they stay Roughly. Yeah, we're gonna make sure they stay within like a 20 pound.
Speaker 2:So they're like a hundred pounds, maybe, maybe, maybe, how many?
Speaker 1:They're scraping. That depends on you. That depends on your number. You have to be the one to like, set that bar. Yeah, you have to be like, I think.
Speaker 2:No weapons, just hands. If it's like no weapons and hands, what are we talking about? Like 100 kids? I mean that's going to be rough.
Speaker 1:Okay, you can't bring weapons with you. You can't bring like Tonkas or something like that to knock these kids out.
Speaker 2:Right. How many kids though we started with?
Speaker 1:I mean, oh, you mean in the pit at the same time. Yeah, you mean like all at once we're coming up with these hypotheticals.
Speaker 2:We got to at least set the bar.
Speaker 1:We'll do it. We'll do it, royal Rumble style.
Speaker 2:Oh, they're going to be coming in. Yeah, we're going to be setting them.
Speaker 1:in every two minutes We'll set a new one in.
Speaker 2:Oh man, I think I'd get gas pretty early. But if we were doing Royal Rumble style, I don't know man, Maybe 20. And then I'll be fucking tired after that.
Speaker 1:You have to knock them out oh knock them out. Yeah, knock them out. You can't just punch them in the face and be like, oh, I got a couple tags in on that kid.
Speaker 2:I mean, I don't know how the chin is on these children we're talking about. We're talking about, you know, getting a little crazy right now. First of all, I never want to attack any child, oh this is hypothetical.
Speaker 1:I said that in the beginning, hypothetically speaking. Yeah, no children were harmed in the making of the show.
Speaker 2:No, I mean, you know, if you had to fend it off, you had to do what you had to do.
Speaker 1:I mean oh no, you can do either style. You can do a defend off if you want to like back into a corner feel better about it, yeah, and make sure that they swing first before you swing, okay it was funny if that makes you feel good or you can go to like total conan barbarian style.
Speaker 1:But as far as weapons are concerned, I think like we're gonna put it in an average area we're not going to put it in a boxing ring and you can use the elements of the room. So if there's a television in the room, if you want to smack a child with television, you have the ability to.
Speaker 2:If you want to take a dresser and tip it over on them, you got that ability. So what I can say is I recently saw a video of a 16-year-old kid knocked the crap out of a guy that was like 40. So we can just tell you right off the bat. I can tell you the age don't matter, size doesn't necessarily matter either, and the reason why I know that is because the kid wasn't that. First of all, the kid was way more agile than the older guy.
Speaker 1:I put these little guys at 12, okay, they don't have testosterone running through them. They haven't really built up anything.
Speaker 2:They haven't started that yet. Right, exactly yeah.
Speaker 1:They're just big enough to put their head at your normal arm swinging range.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but the problem is, once you get more than five of them, you're going to have a tough time if they're all working together. Cause cause, I mean okay.
Speaker 1:So now my question is where are you going to find three 12 year olds that are going to get along, enough that they're going to actually make it like just?
Speaker 2:like. So you just talk about, hypothetically speaking, about some kids hanging out in a room and you just walk in like what's up, motherfuckers. You just like what's up, motherfuckers.
Speaker 1:And then some of them are like don't touch me and you just beat their ass. What?
Speaker 2:are you talking about? I don't want no part of this. And he's trying to run out. You're like, come here, timmy, and he's fucking slapping her.
Speaker 1:It's KO time.
Speaker 2:You're going to sleep.
Speaker 1:What the hell. You got some crazy imagination. I got to say I'm not the first person to bring that up, okay?
Speaker 2:So that question is like oh, okay, yeah, that question is this is next. Right, this question is rolling around on the internet. Who brought it up?
Speaker 1:I forgot the first person. Oh yeah, in fact, I probably don't know the first person.
Speaker 2:Oh, but I know I've seen quite a few times, so I decided to throw it in your direction and see how you felt about it. I have no desire to hurt children or be in a fight with them, but I had it.
Speaker 1:What if they were grown men that were the size of 12-year-olds?
Speaker 2:If that makes you feel better about this situation, Now, I don't want to hurt on the dwarf population, little people, whatever you're called. You don't want to hurt on the dwarf population or the little people, whatever you're called.
Speaker 1:You don't want to hurt on them like Snow White did. Oh, that's messed up. Seven careers down the drain. No man, no, I say that with a big heart, honestly, like a lot of times.
Speaker 2:I say it, I do, I say things that are just like.
Speaker 1:I say them because they're like raw and funny. Right To be honest with you. No, that's fucked up. What they did with like Disney did I mean they took like four or seven awesome careers plus seven backup actors plus stuntmen. So you're talking like 15, 20, like little people that could have had awesome jobs. What?
Speaker 2:Little people are Fisher Price things. Oh dwarves, I don't think they like dwarves either.
Speaker 1:Well, it's in the fucking name of the movie, bro. What am I supposed to do with that? Okay?
Speaker 2:Snow White and the Seven Small People.
Speaker 1:Yeah, fuck that, they're dwarves.
Speaker 2:And you say it to make it sound even more Viking-esque.
Speaker 1:Say it with an English accent Dwarves the Dwarven kind. Yeah, so all right. Yeah, but honestly that was several amazing careers that were thrown into the trash because they didn't even know what the hell to do with their movie.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:First they made Snow White and the Seven Weird Magical Things and then the public was like, yeah, we're not accepting anything to do with their movie. No, first they made like snow white and the seven weird magical things and then, like, the public was like, yeah, we're not accepting anything to do with that. And they're like, oh no, oh, we didn't mean seven magical people, we meant seven dwarves originally, like like we had in the original movie.
Speaker 2:And then they went off and made these weird ai abominations so are you telling me there was an actual cast before the ai stuff?
Speaker 1:uh no, it was first ai stuff and then turned into second ai stuff. So first of all, oh okay there was seven magical creatures that weren't dwarves, nor were male. So let me ask you a question yes, the guys who voiced them.
Speaker 2:Yes, were they dwarves? No, they were not dwarves as well. Right, well, if I was part of the dwarf union, I would be fucking suing the pants office.
Speaker 1:Oh, me too. I mean, I'm an uproar.
Speaker 2:How dare you not include us in your movie?
Speaker 1:I wish I was short enough to be involved.
Speaker 2:I get out there and like protest, but I mean it doesn't.
Speaker 1:It doesn't have the same punch when you're six foot two yeah you know right, it'd be much more of like an impact if I was, I don't know. Three foot two, three foot two yeah, then I'd be coming in with that dwarfism badassness doing that mini me. Yeah, no, no, dude, no, not, not mini me at all. No, I'd come in straight up like, uh, one of the dudes from lord of the rings, yeah, yeah, with the big badass battle axe on my back and the whole nine singing Misty Mountains, okay, yeah.
Speaker 2:A little different.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, real different. No, I'll be coming in with a statement A little more tough, of course. What do you want me to be part of the Lollipop Guild? Fuck a bunch of that noise, yeah.
Speaker 2:I want you to be the lollipop kids.
Speaker 1:We would like to welcome you hell, no, no, I wouldn't be the, I couldn't go that well. I mean, he really, I guess, comes down to the body you're given as a dwarf. Do you look more like a lollipop?
Speaker 2:kid, do you look more like a? I think I would just say yeah, first of All, I got for kids man, crazy looking hair and shit. But Munchkins, yeah, in Munchkin land. Right, they weren't pissed about that. That was the 50s bro, they were actually happy.
Speaker 1:That was one of the most High paying jobs Of the time For actors yeah, Dangerous.
Speaker 2:Dangerous too. They didn't give a fuck If you got like Poisoning cancer. They didn't give a fuck. If you got like poisoning cancer, dot whatever, hung yourself in a tree in the background, they didn't give a fuck.
Speaker 1:They didn't know man. It wasn't like they knew they would just be like yo. We got this cool paint. It looks like metal.
Speaker 2:We're going to slap it over your body.
Speaker 1:Jim, you look like you're dying bro. It's like why are you throwing up buddy?
Speaker 2:Exactly Spray this, exactly, greatest guy with oil, are you?
Speaker 1:are you sure you got all the paint?
Speaker 2:off, he looks pretty red. Oh man, that's crazy dude, it's crazy.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, with that aluminum paint was god awful? That freaking lion suit made the dude sweat to death. Yeah, like there was a lot of like horrific things, and that's not the only movie. Like that was just like hollywood as a whole. You want to be on the big screen. You're gonna get hurt, boy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh man I saw something recently about the fucking uh, the wizard of oz. I forgot what it was, though oh, another thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I gotta say, man, like, when it comes down to that movie, there's so much shit that's wrapped around it and so many things that people look for. I mean between the gay things and between the pink floyd things and between the dude hanging himself in the background and all the other craziness that went on for that movie. Honestly, I think it's one of the best movies for the hype. You know what I mean. There's just so much stuff that people have made up over the years because, honestly, that's one of the oldest movies and everybody's seen it because it's a children's movie.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I'll be straight up honest with you, dude. That shit scared the shit out of me as a child.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I know some kids that were scared of the monkeys.
Speaker 1:No, I didn't mind the monkeys Flying monkeys. I didn't like the imagery.
Speaker 2:What are you? What like Dorothy I mean 95% of it is Dorothy in the beginning. Then you see the weird fucking bubble witch.
Speaker 1:No, as soon as it went into Dollar Tree store coloring that's when I was just like oh, with the green and yeah, I didn't like the imagery I don't want to go back to the black and white, please exactly please, no type of color.
Speaker 1:Can we go back to like a decent movie where, like, the imagery looked fine? I understand you were trying to sell colored televisions like hardcore back in the day, yeah, but I don't want to be I. I and I was born much further in the future than that, but I don't want to be involved in that. Like I understand what it was and now it's like I don't know. The big rainbow flag for the gay society yeah, but once again.
Speaker 1:I don't want to be wrapped in that. I don't want to watch that. That's not for me. There's a lot of things that are for me and they're really fucked up, most of them they're really fucked up. Oh yeah, dude, I really enjoy like weird off the, off the wall, not ordinary things. I do appreciate that.
Speaker 2:I love obscure humor which I mean, yeah, I like all kinds of you know it don't matter to me. I mean I don't get crazy about it, oh, I hate dad jokes.
Speaker 1:Man, you don't like the dad jokes? No, I can't. I can never let them come from my lips. Really yeah it's just not in me. I'm like, yeah, I just don't like it, like what?
Speaker 2:Let's hear one of them dad jokes.
Speaker 1:I hate puns Like oh, why can't you hear? Or pterodactyl, go to the bathroom I don't know why because the p is silent. Okay, oh yeah, that's a dad joke, that's a dad joke. Yeah, yeah, it's a spelling joke. You know, it's like one of those things that you're like I guess it's. I mean, if I really have to think about it, yeah, I guess I appreciate that in some kind of weird obscure way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, all right. So, yeah, man, I don't know. Oh yeah, right, right, there's. Like. You know, why don't skeletons fight each other?
Speaker 1:Because they don't have the guts yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right, right. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
Speaker 1:She gave me a hug, dude, stop Please. I fucking hate these things, these are brutal.
Speaker 2:Why don't eggs chill jokes Because they might crack up Shut?
Speaker 1:up Swear to God dude. I fucking despise this. I got five going.
Speaker 2:I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I'll let you know which one comes first.
Speaker 2:On this note, I'm gonna let you run your jokes the last one is what did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt, I don't get that one. Oh, I guess, because it's a zero with a twist in it to make it an eight. Yeah, that must be what it is. Yeah, dad jokes, uh, they are pretty terrible. I wouldn't mess with them. I'm not gonna mess with them. Let's see. Oh, hold on a second here. Let me see if I could run us some, run us some stuff. Okay, no, there's nothing good here. This is all ridiculous. I'd like to welcome you. Yeah, man, you left me hanging here by myself here.
Speaker 1:Sorry, you lit it up with those whole dad joke things. I decided to use that as a good time to go take a piss. I'm just holding it. Sorry, ladies and gentlemen, I had to step out for a second while he went on that rant. That's not my jam. Yeah, man, gotta go on the rant. I like the like I said obscure, weird out of the ordinary, honestly Terrible I know I am. I am very bad. Nothing makes me like I'll be watching a movie and the most obscure, like punch to the face happens and I burst out laughing in the most serious of the movies. And just because I mean honestly, if you were in that situation and you saw that happen and you were standing out in front of a bar, that'd be funny. Or if you're standing out in front of a coffee shop and one dude just like punches the other dude in the mouth, like oh that that's hilarious.
Speaker 1:At least I feel so yeah.
Speaker 2:But, you're like do you like the slapstick? They call it slapstick.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, no, no, it's not. I don't like slapstick for slapstick it has to be like a serious thing for me to be like, oh, that's fun, that's obscure, that's weird, yeah yeah. Not like an intentional like, oh, who were those guys back in the day, the Three St stooges? No, I, I despise that. Nah, they weren't my. I wasn't a fan of that either, but I like marks and the marks brothers in my jam.
Speaker 2:Yeah, don't know that no, you don't.
Speaker 1:No, um, you don't remember the gentleman with the big mustache and big eyebrows with the cigar. Oh yeah, that's groucho okay yeah, that was a big one and a lot of people like would use him in their comedy skits yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, even bugs bunny did that, of course he did.
Speaker 1:I mean, groucho's a fucking legend. Yeah, honestly, uh, horse feathers the whole nine. Like guys. I really know my shit when it comes down to this, so I don't want to say anything in the comments, like he's not really a marks fran, like shit. I know my shit, so dreams about him a nut I honestly like chico the most. Harpo was like your major slapstick kind of comedy guy yeah, so each jolly chaplain.
Speaker 1:Each brother had their own like aspect of like what they did for their comedy team and brought together this like full aspect of different comedies all wrapped into one movie, which which was brilliant and you'd never see that kind of shit again. And unfortunately they only had a budget that was so big to be able to produce the movies that they did. If they had the budgets of today, with their comedy of yesteryear dude, oh my God, those things would be priceless. Yeah, they'd be epic, epic, amen. I hear that be priceless.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, they'd be epic, epic, yeah, man I hate that, but it's the things I hold on to. It's the little things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, hold on to those little things look exactly we hold on to a little thing every night. We know that every half hour or so when you're gonna piss.
Speaker 1:You're holding on to a little thing wow bro, you and ang Always talking about my dick. Hey man, I wish it was as small as you guys said it was.
Speaker 2:Yeah, then I wouldn't have to buy an extra seat when I flew on planes?
Speaker 1:Yeah, right.
Speaker 2:I have to get the extra space guys. It's not fun, Exactly. I got to pay more. You know what it's like. I pay more. You know what it's like. Yeah, I can't cross my legs.
Speaker 1:I cannot cross my legs.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I am incapable of doing those things. Oh, man, you know what's crazy man? I can hear that thing the buzz, yeah, yeah, sucking it, yeah, getting your puff on your fruity puff, honestly, yeah.
Speaker 1:It is what it is. Yeah, I am a creature of my crutches and I know this. Okay, and I've comfortably got. Well, I've become comfortable with those skeletons in my closet. Yeah, yeah, I've accepted who I am. What can change me? What's the serenity prayer? God, give me the strength to accept me for who I am.
Speaker 2:I don't know. I've got to remember it. I didn't do AA though.
Speaker 1:That was good enough for me. It worked.
Speaker 2:The audience got it.
Speaker 1:They understood what I was talking about. Yeah, he did. He did that one guy it works. The audience got it. They understood what I was talking about. Yeah, yeah, he did. He did that one guy. We appreciate you, man. Yeah, this one goes out to you, this Michelob.
Speaker 2:Michelob Ocho.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man Strangers in the night.
Speaker 2:It's a superior light beer Only 95 calories.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know what? Do you see the oil show? No, landman, no, oh, landman, landman, nope. Oh, that is a show, is it? It's a really good one. You got to watch that one. I don't know what is it on. It is on Peacock. Oh, don't have that. Oh shit, too many subscriptions, can't have that one.
Speaker 2:Actually I might be able to get that one, though I think actually I do have that one, oh it's definitely worth it, I think. I got that over somebody else. It's one of those things you know.
Speaker 1:No, he pays full price for it. Oh yeah, that's right. Yeah, full price.
Speaker 2:Hey, man, listen, it's crazy, right? So, like netflix, all these things, you know people shared them, they know that it's happening, and then they, like you know they threatened and be like, ah, we're gonna stop it.
Speaker 1:and I have to say out of everybody.
Speaker 2:I think the only one that really did was netflix. They actually shut that shit down like no, they didn't. If you want to share it and it's not a family plan, yeah, when you're in the same household, it's a little different, no, no.
Speaker 1:They started charging for extra accounts. They're like oh, we see that another account's on your like watching this and you've reached your max viewing account. So if you want to expand your viewing account, you must pay this amount. Yeah, right, right. So it's not that they got rid of your subscription, they're just demanded you pay for what you're using.
Speaker 2:No, no, they don't cancel you. But yeah, exactly like you and your four brothers, you and your four buddies want to watch netflix, not a problem yeah, they want you to pay more.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're gonna roll that into your only monthly sum yeah, yeah, exactly, you know, and it's crazy too, like like Disney, maybe it is Disney, well, actually, maybe even Amazon. So Amazon advertises, like shows or whatever, and I think now Amazon does a thing with Paramount and then Paramount has a showtime under it, so like if you want to watch showtime, you need a subscription to showtime, but you also need a subscription to paramount yes, what the hell. And then if you it's like what you know, and I think amazon's thing was just like we're gonna advertise with them and whatever, but yeah, it was kind of crazy, man.
Speaker 1:Well, it actually comes down to the fact that you can either buy or use your subscription. So they're like yeah, we this thing, and if you don't have the subscription you can go ahead and buy it from us over here. But if you do have the subscription, we'll go ahead and pop you over your application that you do have it on and you can go ahead and watch it from there, since you're already paying your monthly fees for that.
Speaker 2:It's funny. So, like you know, when I used to have cable and I think I had like basic fucking cable, I didn't even have, I didn't have like HBO or any of that shit and I was paying in 2006, we're talking $130 a month. Oh yeah, and I got internet. So I'm like wondering like now, you know, I pay for Sling, that's 60 bucks. I pay for Netflix, that's another like $15.99. That's another $15.99. So that's like $16 or whatever, $17 with tax or whatever. Yeah, then you got HBO Max that's $15.99.
Speaker 1:Wait a minute. What's your phone subscription? My phone oh. Verizon? Yeah, call it Verizon. You get one of those guys for free. Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, verizon, yeah, call up Verizon, you get one of those guys for free.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, you've not been like I haven't been in the loop. Yeah, you got to haggle with your All right guys? I'm throwing this out to all you guys, every single one of you. Anyone listening to me right now? Call up your phone company and tell them to give you whatever freebie they have for the month, because you've been a loyal subscriber for a long time and you're giving out freebies to the new people that came along that are fucking yeah, we're mad as heck and we're not gonna take it anymore well, no, I did it.
Speaker 1:All the time I've done in my entire life, I've always renegotiated my contract with my phone company and I've called them up and I'm like, hey, I see you have a new commercial right now we're giving away this type of phone. Huh, so you're giving away a 15 $1,500 phone. How dare you to the new guy and I'm over here as a loyal customer and you ain't giving me shit. So, yeah, and honestly, every time I fucking try to play hardball with them, they're like oh well, sir, please off the ledge, you don't need to go to our competitor, please stay with us. We appreciate you. You can have it too.
Speaker 2:You know what's crazy, what's up Talking about cell phones, stuff like that? So I got two lines with Verizon and I was on some plan that they don't have no more, so they justued the plan. It was a pretty good plan. I liked it because I got the hotspot for free, unlimited everything. It was $60 a line. Back in the day I kept it and I held on to that shit.
Speaker 2:But out of nowhere my phone stops working. Right, try to make a call, nothing. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Happened on the same exact weird shit Happened on both lines. I call up Verizon I'm like, oh, what's going on, man, the fucking phone stopped working. Oh, I don't see anything wrong here. Oh, sir, you're being deauthorized. I'm like what? Yeah, you're being deprioritized. I'm like I'm not prioritized. What if you pay more on this plan? Then you have a better priority. So like we won't knock off your phone call. So I'm like, are you kidding me? They're like, no, in high congestion areas, the bills that the people who are paying more for the higher, ultra wide band or whatever, get priority over the ones who don't. And I'm like, oh, wow, that's crazy.
Speaker 1:So, anyway, I had to talk to her for a few minutes. Where are you located right now?
Speaker 2:I would like to go and talk to you about this face to face, like you're bringing out the urge that we need to have a yeah, it was crazy discussion. But after speaking to him for like a you know a few minutes or whatever, it came out that they squeezed me for two dollars, like a month, you know, and I'm like all right, and then I got everything. I upgraded the plan, I was able to get, get prioritized, all the problems with my phone went away.
Speaker 1:Wait, they squeezed you for $2? $2. $2 a month, yeah.
Speaker 2:After everything, taxes, fees, all that it was only $2 because the plan that I had $24 a year. Yeah, oh man.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So I was like you know, whatever, I don't care, I'd be so angry, I'd be so angry. You made me so hostile and angry over such a situation for $2. And you're a huge company. Why don't you just eat that shit? Why don't you eat the $24?
Speaker 2:You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:You're going to make a hostile.
Speaker 2:You might actually make me want to leave your patience, I guess the moral of the story is that you know, listen, at some point your plan may become, you know, defunct. It's old, it's this. You know, whatever you think, you used to be the grandfather it used to be. Just keep it forever and it would work great. Now they turn in screws on that shit and your phone works like shit we'll see here's okay.
Speaker 1:All right, here we go for 360. We're coming all the way back to the beginning. This is my problem with Teslas. Okay, fucking Tesla. Ow, if I buy a car and it's got a gadget or gizmo in it, it better fucking work.
Speaker 2:Why? Because I bought that car and that car came with that gizmo right Gotcha.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean it came along with it With it. Yeah, if I buy, let's say, a hair trimmer, and it comes with a bunch of gadgets to be able to do different parts of my beard and whatnot, I want them all to work.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:I don't want to have three of them sitting on the shelf and be like oh, you have to pay extra to get that.
Speaker 2:Right. So what's with the Tesla? What's your beef with?
Speaker 1:tesla, yeah, you buy the car, the car comes to your house yes, it does and you can turn on and off functions. You can turn on and off the heated seat. You can be like, oh, I'll pay more to have a heated seat, yes, and they'll go. Oh, okay, we just turned your heater seats on. You can enjoy those now yeah it's like no wait, so that means there was heated seats in my car right when I bought the fucker right yeah, there's all they were turned off right all these gadgets, yeah, you buy, are already in the fucking car.
Speaker 1:So you're not. When you purchase that car, you're not purchasing it for like the value it's max value. You're purchasing it for whatever the car is, to basically rent past that point.
Speaker 2:You know what's crazy about tesla, what's up?
Speaker 2:so I get your point and yes I had a friend who bought a tesla and it was like that. And he they there was this whole thing. You know, if you tweet at you know at the time it was twitter. If you tweet on elon musk, you know, hey, what's going on with the car? Everybody should get free audio, whatever. And then, like he would do it, he would do weird things. Oh, yeah, we'll turn the audio on. And then all of a sudden, everybody who bought the Model 3 had the premium sound or something like that. So yeah, those are software features, so they could turn them on and turn them off, and all the cars are all built the same. And I was like, yeah, it made it easier for them to sell cars with different ranges to just turn them on and turn them off based upon the software updates you want.
Speaker 2:So, I mean it's like a flat rate cost for the car. It doesn't mean it's not included, Right? So you got a fixed rate on the car, so it made sense for them. Manufacturer wise. It makes sense to me it's a car for a service you know but. But what's crazy is that it's actually not a car, so he got it defined as so. Tesla is not a dealership. Tesla does not fall under the automotive dealership rules at all. What, oh, wow.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:It's almost like you're buying a cell phone. I'm not even kidding. So you know how. There's this whole Right to Repair Act and all that stuff Doesn't matter nothing about Tesla, at least from what I remember. But yeah, tesla is not really an automotive, so that's why there's no other dealerships that sell Tesla, only Tesla sells Tesla. For instance, if you have a Kia dealership, they might sell a Hyundai. They might sell Kia, they might sell other cars.
Speaker 1:Right, because they're bringing them in.
Speaker 2:They're bringing in like you can, can't, but you can't buy. You can't open up a dealership and be like I'm going to be a Tesla dealership because it doesn't exist. Tesla's not a dealer, that's their thing.
Speaker 1:And somehow they fucking work the the laws in such a way that it's like you know, it's like a premium cell phone well, you can't hate the guy for reading the rules that were already there. Oh.
Speaker 2:I'm not mad about it. I'm just like that's amazing that he was able to do that and by all means they want to control it. But what's crazy is that these cars, after they're done with they, go to auction and then at the auction they sell like uh, auction, and then at the auction, you know, they sell them for whatever they want at the auction and then after that somebody else gets it. If they have a problem, they can't bring it to a mechanic if it's, if it's like suspension work maybe, but the vast majority of the work that needs to be done is software. So they have to take it back to tesla. And a lot of times there's times when tesla's like oh, this car's done. Now what do you mean? It's done? Yeah, it don't work. You know you can't have it. Like they take it away from you, like it's weird, like that. Or they charge, they want exuberance amounts of money in order to cover the car. It's no longer under warranty. You know. Like they want like the battery oh, battery's dead, that's it. Now you gotta buy a whole new, whole new battery. You know when it's like. You know you could really just change like a cell or two.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of weird stuff about it. There's guys out there that do like, um, they hack them, you know. And there's guys that like they'll program the car for you. But that's the whole point of like uh, the right to repair act and uh, stuff like that, is that you know, manufacturers, they shield information from third-party repair. So like, wow, they don't want you to know how to like interface with the car to fix it or any of that stuff. But the Rights to Repair Act, you know, for automotive it's supposed to open those doors and it does to an extent. But even like Ford and like, well, maybe not necessarily Ford, but like other dealers, like GM for instance, you can't. So if you have a GM, you have a global A right which means that all the components in your car electrically are protected. They call it protected.
Speaker 2:And if, let's say, for whatever reason you know, your door switch, oh fuck, my mirror, my window won't go down, I need a new switch. You go to the junkyard, you put it in there, don't work. And also, you could break the car. Don't start, really. Yeah, well, because they with their excuses, all a lot of auto theft and people stripping down cars and they will. You know the other, the secondary market to sell stolen parts.
Speaker 1:No right. Fuck you If you're stopping all the pick-apart guys from being able to go in.
Speaker 2:Nope, it's got to be VIN coded. It has to match the VIN number.
Speaker 1:That is some bullshit.
Speaker 2:So there's guys out there that they program their job. Recode it, just recode it. Take your VIN, put it on there.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, God bless those guys Vehicle hackers. Yeah, I mean, hey, you know what it's a new industry.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is.
Speaker 1:Dude, I was thinking like talking to my dad today about this, because we were going on about like Elon Musk and being able to score a military contract from America and my dad's like, well, why would they need Teslas? That doesn't make any sense. I'm like, well, dad, you got to think about it. Elon Musk is wrapped into way more than Teslas. He's got his robotics industry up and running. He's also got the SpaceX.
Speaker 1:Well, not SpaceX so much. I mean SpaceX is what it is, but I mean that's more for exploration than actually needing to be like a military grade weaponry. No, you didn't hear about the Space Force. Oh, no, Space Force is an American. Yeah, Trump did that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Trump did that and SpaceX is helping with that.
Speaker 1:And SpaceX's main thing is Starlink.
Speaker 2:Do you know what Starlink is? Yeah, that's what I yes, and that's for the space fan.
Speaker 1:Yes, starlink's where the money is, so to be able to go ahead and run satellites over an area and blanket them in an area. Oh yeah, space war. No, it's land war. It's the fact that all of your guys Command and control Right All their headphones, all of their walkie-talkies, everything are like. Working, working perfectly and they're going to be able to communicate. Well, yeah, on top of that, we have the robots coming out, and then Neurolex.
Speaker 2:Neuralink, neuralink, yeah, yeah, that particular company computers in my mind.
Speaker 1:No, control robots with your mind.
Speaker 2:If you do that, too right, he's building the robots I just want to be the best in call of duty. Just look at the screen like world champion?
Speaker 1:no, I want to be, I want to get. I want to get 700 kills under my belt in real life as an 80 year old man in his bed with neural link you know, my robot's just out there killing for days.
Speaker 2:There's a movie about that where, like there's like there's real life war going on, but there's like kids that are playing video games yes, they don't even know it's like, or care that it's like, you know, real war, but they, they're just playing their video game killing people people Just murder.
Speaker 1:But it's real. That's the angle I kind of want to go with Get in the neural link just sit in my bed, piss myself and just go slaughter.
Speaker 1:Speaking of that, do that. With that said, ladies and gentlemen, we appreciate you, as always. Thank you for coming, thanks for hanging out with us on the couches. God bless you. Please like subscribe and all that other garbage that you know we need to do. To try to like rise up, be part of the communities, as everybody else. You know we appreciate you, guys. Keep being conservative and doing your thing and, as always, fuck off.