Divorce Diaries: Lessons From the Trenches
Welcome to Divorce Diaries, where host Cary Jacobson, attorney and mediator brings you real stories, hard truths, and practical advice on navigating divorce and family law. Whether you're going through it, considering it, or just curious, this is your place for clarity, confidence, and resilience.
Divorce Diaries: Lessons From the Trenches
EP # 16: Navigating College Financial Aid After Divorce with Guest Vicki Vollweiler
The financial intricacies of college planning become exponentially more complex when divorce enters the picture. In this episode, host Cary Jacobson sits down with Vicki Vollweiler, founder of College Financial Prep and a divorced parent herself, as she reveals game-changing strategies that can potentially save families hundreds of thousands of dollars in college costs.
Ready to transform your approach to college planning during or after divorce? Visit collegefinancialprep.com to learn how proper planning can dramatically reduce your family's college expenses while creating a cooperative framework between separated parents that puts your child's educational future first.
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you have FAFSA and then you have what's called the CSS profile. So most schools not all schools, but most schools that require the CSS profile will look for the information from both parents and if both parents are remarried, they could be looking for the information from all four parents. So they will look for who's the custodial parent and who's the non-custodial parent, and we want to make sure that dives with how the FAFSA application is being completed.
Speaker 2:Welcome to Divorce Diaries, where attorney Carrie Jacobson brings you real stories, hard truths and practical advice on navigating divorce and family law. And practical advice on navigating divorce and family law, whether you're going through it, considering it or just curious this is your place for clarity, confidence and resilience.
Speaker 3:Welcome back to Divorce Diaries Lessons from the Trenches. I'm your host, keri Jacobson, and this podcast is all about sharing real-world divorce experiences and lessons learned to help you navigate your own journey with more confidence and less stress. I'm thrilled today to have our guest, vicki Bohlweiler, with us today. She is the founder and CEO of College Financial Prep, where she provides a full range of college funding and admission services for families. As both a college planning expert and a divorce financial coach, she helps parents navigate financial aid, scholarships, student loans and college planning. Her goal is to ensure that parents and students are fully informed about their options so that they can make the best decisions for their future. Vicki is also a divorced parent herself, and so she understands firsthand the challenges that come along with balancing divorce finances and college planning. She's the proud mom of two children, one currently pursuing a PhD and another who is prepping for college soon. And, of course, her fur baby, maggie, who enjoys, brings joy to everyone she meets. So thanks so much for being here, vicki.
Speaker 1:Oh, you're very welcome. I'm glad to be here today, awesome.
Speaker 3:Well, tell us a little bit about how you. What inspired you to establish College Financial Prep?
Speaker 1:Oh gosh, it goes back. You know I'm a divorced mom. I went through it. I've been through the college planning process personally, professionally. I remember with my own, when we were prepping, lots of stuff was happening. I mean I'd already been divorced a number of years but they were like downward modifications, they were just changes, things happening. So you know it's an emotional time, it's a financial time and I remember navigating through it all, thinking like people don't necessarily know which way to go. I remember talking to parents and before I formed college financial prep, yes, I was helping people. You know, divorce financial side and clients were also saying to me they're like well, how am I going to save money on the cost of college? And just everything came together and College Financial Prep was born.
Speaker 3:Okay, so were you working with divorced or divorcing people before the college planning process?
Speaker 1:Yes, so I'm certified as a divorce coach. I only focused on the personal financial side, not necessarily the emotional side, but the reason that I chose the college piece. You know, yes, people will tell you, oh, save money, you don't need to drink a coffee. Every you know, get a coffee every day. College, with college, I mean, I've literally helped. Not, it doesn't happen for everyone, but some clients have literally saved hundreds of thousands of dollars on college. So it is fabulous to see the impact that the work that I do with the families can have on them and their finances. And talking about reducing financial stress, but but yeah, so it's fabulous when that happens.
Speaker 3:That's amazing. We may have to dive deeper into some of those examples. How does financial aid process differ for a divorced or separated parents compared to couples that, may you know, be married?
Speaker 1:So it depends on which schools the student is applying to, and that's a big part of the work that I do with the parents and the student is guiding them towards which schools will be a better fit financially for them and which one will you know which will be able to provide more funding. So the FAFSA form is typically meant for one household. So, assuming the parents are in separate households, it's meant for one household. Typically it is the parent who provides more financial support for the child. That completes the FAFSA. Now it used to be the custodial parent, Now it's worded as the parent who provides more financial support, and that could be either parent and it really has nothing to do with the amount of child support that's paid. It's really which parent is just spending more on that child.
Speaker 3:How do couples or parents, separated or even together, determine?
Speaker 1:who that is. Well, yeah, so it's not going to be for a married couple. But I'll sit down with the parents and I usually have like a questionnaire. I'm very careful I do not share anything with the other parent, especially, you know, if they're already divorced. They don't need to be privy to each other's current finances. But yeah, I'll go through it with the parents to, you know, figure out what their preferences are and figure out the numbers and let's see, let's see what makes the most sense. Ok, so there's no like easy answer, but I guess it's, you know, line item and seeing who's spending what, and they may not want to share it with each other. But you know, I'm certainly that neutral third party that you know. I work with them to plan strategy and make sure it makes sense moving forward.
Speaker 3:Right, and obviously they're inclined to share that information with you if you're going to end up saving the family, definitely Tens of thousands of dollars, yeah. So does it matter anymore who the custodial parent is, or does?
Speaker 1:that not make a difference when they're determining this. So, like I said earlier about the schools, it could make a difference because there's more than one financial aid application. So you have FAFSA and then you have what's called the CSS profile. So you have FAFSA and then you have what's called the CSS profile. So most schools not all schools, but most schools that require the CSS profile will look for the information from both parents and and who's the non-custodial parent. And we want to make sure that jives with how the FAFSA application is being completed and just want to make sure you know whoever's filling that. Just need to make sure it all follows through.
Speaker 3:Okay, so it's not as if one parent can fill out one form and the other parent can fill out the other form. They all need to be filled out and meshed with one another so that there's no confusion and issue once it gets to the respective schools.
Speaker 1:Right it should. The CSS profile will assume that the custodial parent is the parent who spends more for each child.
Speaker 3:Okay, that makes sense. Are there strategies divorced parents can use to maximize need-based financial aid for their children?
Speaker 1:Again, I guess it depends on the individual parents, their incomes. So literally, I was just working with a couple who was separating and you know we were talking about this, and they're a few years away from their child actually going to college. It's important for parents to both agree to participate in the financial aid forms that are needed. That's first off. I've seen times where one parent doesn't participate, even though both parents are requested to, and the school refuses to give anything because both parents aren't participating. You know, is there something to do up front? Have very different income levels. It may be possible to do some planning in advance and figure out which parent should be the parent that provides more support for the student, you know, and ways to tweak. You know I'm not an attorney so I'm not going to say what they should do legally, but you know it's important to think about and talk about that with their attorney.
Speaker 3:Okay, how early do you recommend parents come to you for the college planning process? Is this a my kid's going to school next fall? So here we are. You know the spring beforehand. Let's do it now, or should they be looking you know earlier freshman, sophomore year, that sort of thing?
Speaker 1:Well, I've had some clients come to me when they're separating and the kids were in elementary school. You know, whenever college is on their mind, that's when they should, should, reach out. Um, typically I deal with most clients when the students are in 11th grade, early 12th grade, and that's when we're working with the students and the families. You know, putting together the college list, that, um, I have a college advisor who works with me and they're helping with developing the college list for the student's perspective, the academic and the social side of it. They're helping with the Common App, they're helping with the essays. We also have test prep tutors, but then with me we're looking at everything from the financial side. So it's also the college list and making sure that there are schools that are good financial fit.
Speaker 1:It's the financial aid form, preparing the financial aid forms. It's searching for scholarships, it's filing appeals, because if people are getting divorced, a lot can have changed, may have changed since their tax return was last filed, may have changed since their tax return was last filed. And then it's helping them with student loans and with divorced parents not everybody necessarily has a college in their agreement and it's helping both parents. You know, navigate the process together, side by side and, you know, just managing all the moving pieces so that everybody's on the same page. Everybody is well informed. I'm never going to tell anybody where their student should go to school just because it's the cheapest, but I want everybody to be informed so that way they can make the best decisions for themselves and their students.
Speaker 3:Absolutely, because every scenario is so different and what they value is so different exactly.
Speaker 1:Everyone has different goals for their kids and where they should go to school. Um, you know some people that you know you would think can can afford to pay full. You know the full price. No, they, they have a specific budget in mind. Other people, they want the best name, but they may need to take out student loans for that. You know. I just want everybody to be informed of. You know somebody that needs to is going to need student loans. I want them to know full well what, what the impact that that's going to have before they make their their final decision.
Speaker 3:Absolutely, because making sure that they know exactly what they're getting into for the long run Exactly. You mentioned before that you know, when we're working with divorced parents, that they have to kind of work with one another. How crucial is communication between divorced parents when planning for their child's college expenses, and do you have any tips for them to facilitate those discussions?
Speaker 1:So ideally they will have discussed college when they're putting together their divorce agreement, which may have been many years ago and sometimes that's not the case and it's brand new. Sometimes I'll work with clients they could have been divorced for 10 years and I'll help them put together a memorandum of understanding, just strictly as it relates to the college portion, and then they can either, you know, have it notarized on their own or, if they want to be more formal, they can take it to their attorney, you know, to have it more formalized and submitted to the court. So I'll help with, you know, all the moving pieces there. You know, sometimes people I live in New York.
Speaker 1:In New York we have what's called the SUNY standard State University of New York standard which means that both parents are responsible for the cost of an in-state school. Some other states have that as well. Some other states don't have college at all. I'll help the families project the college costs before they send in applications so that way you know everybody can see what type of numbers we're dealing with and try to get on the same page. You know, again, I want them to be informed every step of the way. So that way you know we're all moving ahead together.
Speaker 3:Right, I think one thing to point out. You mentioned the SUNY standard. So I'm located in Maryland and basically in Maryland we do not have a requirement that parents pay for college of any sort and that child support terminates upon a child either turning 18 or graduating high school. And I know in many states that is different and you know, sometimes child support will go through until a child, you know, finishes college. So I think that's just something for our listeners to be aware of. That it varies from state to state and so in Maryland it's very common for people not to have a college provision in their agreement because otherwise they're basically contractually binding themselves to paying for something that they otherwise would not have to. That being said, you know many.
Speaker 1:My hope is that if college is in the student's future, you know that both parents are, you know, want to do what's in the best interest of the child and supporting the student and talking about it. And let's talk about it. And, you know, not every college has to be, you know, close to $100,000 a year. There are other ways, but it is important to know that freshman year, you know, some people think well, you know, let the student pay for it. And really, students can only take out $5,500 in federal student loans. They can take out a private loan but it's going to require a parent to co-sign. So, you know, parents should be aware of this before they go in.
Speaker 1:And I also always encourage parents to speak with their children while they're in high school about college, Not to share your income or your assets you know your retirement accounts or anything like that but maybe say this is what we have saved for college, this is what we can afford, this is what our budget is, so let's plan for that. I think it's very important to have those conversations with the kids sooner rather than later. I've seen too much heartache towards the end of 12th grade where the students are upset that they can't go to whatever school their heart was set on, and then the parents are upset that they can't do it for the children and it's much easier to have the conversation earlier.
Speaker 3:Would 100 percent agree with that, and I do think that people who are over a certain age are not maybe necessarily aware that kids can no longer take out as much in student loans. You know that my kids are not quite of college age but I this is something I have heard a little bit more about and you know, back when I was going to college all of the student loans were in my name. You know, very rarely was it in a parent's name and I know that that has been a large shift and I think is going to surprise a lot of parents as their kids begin to that application process.
Speaker 1:The cost of college is, you know, keeps going up, and the federal student loans haven't. So it's just, it's not possible. I mean, with the private loans they can, you know, but then the the parents name is on it. So then what happens? You know, if the student doesn't pay it back, it can impact the parent's credit. Just something to think about.
Speaker 3:You mentioned earlier about appealing a decision If a family's financial situation happens to change. You know post-course, you know I work with a lot of parents whose kids have gone off to college and now they're in that divorce process. So you know we've got kids in college already. Parents are now getting divorced. What steps can parents take to potentially appeal a financial decision if their financial situation has changed?
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, it's definitely possible. Some people don't realize that I've had clients where they've saved an additional $10,000 per semester just because of divorce. So just so everybody understands, um, so, right now, for next school year, for the 25-26 academic school year, we're using 2023 tax returns. So how much can change in a household since 2023? So a lot it's. You know. Heaven forbid somebody gets hit by a bus. Whatever it is that causes a financial shift downward can be appealed with the colleges and, based on you know, they'll reassess it. And yeah, it is possible to save money, you know. You know, either somebody like me can help. There are going to be additional forms to complete, you know. So that's it, you know. You could just even simply call the financial aid office. But yeah, it is possible to do it and it's important to do it, especially if you've had that change.
Speaker 3:Okay, In your experience, what would you say is a common mistake you have seen people make during the divorce process as it relates to college planning, and what would you have recommended that they do to prevent that?
Speaker 1:I've seen people, even though they're divorced, still combine their income with a former spouse and listed on fafsa. So that's a big one that they don't realize that. You know, no, it's only one parent now and that can really help them financially, right? Um, when the fafsa form gets submitted, um, you have two chances of saving money. First is through the government. The government's going to review the application to see if you qualify for any federal financial aid. But then the FAFSA form gets submitted to the colleges and they review it to see if they're going to offer any need-based aid. So, certainly, by adding a second parent to it is not going to help, right? Yeah, the more money you have, the less aid you're likely to get on a need-based um scenario, right? So, even if in in you know we were talking about, before you know, 2023 parents filed married, filing jointly, and they submit the application, um, yeah, that's it's important to appeal and say no, no, no, it's just, you know, one income now, right.
Speaker 3:Okay. Do you have any advice for those single parents who are navigating the college financial planning process on their own, whether the other parents just not in the picture or whether they just refuse to participate?
Speaker 1:It's. My recommendation is you start with the college list. It's very important to apply to the right schools that are going to give the most money. You know, if you apply to all schools that are, you know I'm making this up $90,000 a year and they're not known to give any money, how is it going to be doable? So yeah, the college list is very important. You know, thinking about it early on in planning.
Speaker 3:So we're going to go back to that teaser that you led us with earlier. Can you share a success story where a family significantly benefited from your guidance in the college planning process?
Speaker 1:Oh, sure, okay, one right now that I'm. You know family that I'm working with. This is a family that the family's divorced, one parent is remarried Because of the financials and the way it all played out. Just for a freshman year they already saved over $50,000 on the cost of college at a private school. But over four years that's over $200,000. And you know I don't want to say it happens all the time, but yeah, it happens often enough that, yeah, they're saving hundreds of thousands of dollars. You know there are.
Speaker 1:You have to apply to the right schools. Yeah, the child has to get into the right schools. You have to. You know the child and the family have to decide. You know that one's it and the family have to decide. You know that one's it. You know, I understand college isn't just all about finances. You know it's also an emotional decision. It's also. But you know, depending on the family and your shared goals and values, and perhaps you know the career direction that the student is headed. You know what makes the most sense. So, yeah, I want to take everything into account. But yeah, definitely is possible. But again, it starts with the college list.
Speaker 3:That's amazing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, and that's that's not a one shot. I mean, it happens often enough. Yeah, and it's great when it happens. I love seeing it Absolutely.
Speaker 3:If you could leave our listeners with one key takeaway about divorce and college financial planning, what would it be?
Speaker 1:I know it's being divorced so much easier for everyone is a stressful emotional time as it is, and you add divorce situations on top of it, um, it just makes it harder. So you know, my hope is that, as difficult as it is, for everyone to be as amicable as possible. You know, moving forward yeah, a hundred percent.
Speaker 3:And I would add there that you know, even though it may not end up being part of a legal document, I would recommend, if people are having struggles in communicating, try mediation, to have that third party to help guide the process and the discussion, whether it's with someone like yourself in the planning process or you know someone like me who is a mediator, just to have the you know the open discussion without the you know the negative back and forth, so that you can get on the same page, so that your student has a better experience.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what I found is that it usually helps to have, when I'm working with clients whether they're in my office, whether we're on Zoom together, whatever it is, because I work with clients nationally that everybody, that everybody, that both parents are able to ask questions and we're able to hold a discussion with both parents together. You know, that way there's no well, that's just what he says, or that's just what she says. You know that they're actually getting the information directly from me and then they can ask follow-up questions and it helps to get everybody on the same page, you know. So, whether it's whether it's a one session appointment, whether it's, you know, a full, you know engagement for senior year, it definitely helps.
Speaker 1:There's I'm thinking about one, one family that I'm working with right now, you know, and the parents are divorced and I know that they were considering a very high level school. Definitely there were. You know, one parent was pushing for this school and this was early on in the process. They were, they wanted to apply early decision, which means you're committing to the school right and the other parent was very hesitant because didn't know what costs were. And you know, we spoke about a lot of topics and ultimately we worked with the school to get an early read, so that way they were able to make the best decision together, moving forward and get on the same page. So you know, it's very nice to see when everybody can come together.
Speaker 3:Absolutely, and the experience for everyone will be better when they can do that.
Speaker 1:Yes, certainly the child too.
Speaker 3:When that's, that's honestly who, who we're most focused on, so that's that's who needs to have the better experience.
Speaker 1:Exactly.
Speaker 3:Well, vicki. Thank you so much for being here. This has been such an eye-opening conversation and thank you for sharing your expertise and providing so many actual insights for our listeners. For those of you who want to connect with Vicki or learn more about how to save money on college costs, visit her website at collegefinancialprepcom, and we'll also include a link in the show notes For our listeners. If you found today's episode helpful, please subscribe, leave us a review and share this episode with someone who may benefit. Remember, divorce doesn't have to be a disaster. Learning from the lessons of others can help you make smarter decisions and avoid the unnecessary drama. Thanks for tuning in today on Divorce Diaries Lessons from the Trenches Until next time.
Speaker 2:Thanks for joining us today on this episode of Divorce Diaries. Remember every journey is unique, but you don't have to navigate it alone. Visit JacobsonFamilyLawcom or call 443-726-4912 for support and guidance.