Herlihy Family Law

EP #13: Reflecting on 2025 - Building a Clear and Burnout-Free 2026 with Coach Tarah Keech

• Alison Herlihy • Episode 13

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What if your most uncomfortable feelings were your most reliable guides? That question drives a candid conversation with attorney Alison Herlihy and executive coach and leadership expert Tara Keech about the quiet costs of success, the evolution of ambition, and how to build a 2026 that actually fits. They look at why grief and disconnection surged for high performers in 2025 and how those emotions aren’t failures to fix but signals pointing you back to meaning, values, and better choices.

If this conversation resonates, subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a quick review. Want to go deeper? Journal on what you want to carry into 2026—and what you’re ready to release. Then tell us: which feeling will guide your year?

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Tarah Keech:

So I think I call it the evolution of ambition. It's that, and you see this with people who are really successful, who probably their whole lives have been gifted or or excelled gold star students. But you don't give yourself permission that what you want can change as you go forward. And oftentimes we judge ourselves when we have all these like success points on paper. Like we've done all the things, we've climbed the ladder, we've achieved everything that we've ever set out to achieve. And it doesn't feel like it's quite enough.

Intro/Close:

Welcome to the Hurlihy Family Law Podcast, your trusted source for expert insights on navigating family law matters with clarity and care. Whether you're tackling tough decisions or seeking guidance for your family's future, we are here to help. Let's get started.

Alison Herlihy:

Welcome to the Hurlihy Family Law Podcast. I'm your host, Alison Hurlihy. Today I'm excited to talk with executive coach and leadership expert and my friend Tara Keach. Tara helps professionals and leaders recover from burnout, build clarity and confidence, and lead with purpose, personally and professionally. As we wrap up 2025, we thought it would be a great time to pause, reflect, and get intentional about what 2026 could look like. Tara, welcome. Thanks so much for being here.

Tarah Keech:

It's such a joy and honor, Allison. Thank you for having me.

Alison Herlihy:

Yeah. Tell us just a really quickly a little bit about what you do.

Tarah Keech:

I really love to help crazy smart people who are experts in their craft pay attention to their thoughts and their feelings in ways that help them create results that they want in their life so that they can feel, you know, fulfilled and purposeful. Yeah.

Alison Herlihy:

That's great. Well, you help a lot of leaders deal with burnout and overwhelm, I know, are two of your areas of interest. Um, from your vantage point, what are some common themes or patterns that you saw among professionals in 2025?

Tarah Keech:

There's so much. Uh, the two that come to mind the strongest are grief and a disconnect. I'm gonna call it disconnection, whether that's from their self or their purpose, or what is this all for in the face of some really hard times in our world and in our communities. Yeah, that's so interesting. Yeah. And you know, both of those, both of those, I love, and we'll talk more about this, I'm sure. Both of those really dark negative emotions are really assets for us. You know, we're wired to feel all the feelings. So when grief shows up, what it's helping us see is that there's something that we care about that's no longer present. And when there's disconnection, it's almost a representation of our capacity to feel connection. It's just showing us what we want more of, um, whether that's connection to the people in our lives, connection to ourselves, um, connection to a greater purpose or a brighter future. Um so they're both really beautiful signals that we're ready for something to be different. Um, yeah. So they they feel really negative, they feel really hard, but they're actually invitations for us to step into more of what we want.

Alison Herlihy:

Do you work mostly with people here locally, or is this something you've seen in people like all over the country?

Tarah Keech:

It's everywhere. Um, so I do, I think it's probably like a 30, 70 split. I'd have to look at the numbers with people locally. Of course, my the people that know me um invite me to do work with them and their teams, but I work with folks all over the country at a variety of different institutions, capacities, firms, practices.

Alison Herlihy:

Um, for someone who's juggling work, leadership, and personal life, like family, self-care, you know, all the things, what subtle signs might indicate burnout or depletion, especially when things, you know, look good on paper?

Tarah Keech:

And that's often the case, especially when you're mid-career, you sort of figured out how to do the things. Uh, so burnout can be almost really sneaky in the ways that it mounts up sort of a snowball effect. And then all of a sudden you're just burnout and fried and don't recognize yourself anymore when it's been building for years and years. So I I describe burnout as physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. And I think we can all like nod our heads and feel what physical exhaustion means, but it's the mental and emotional exhaustions that sort of creep in around the edges, and that can be everything from feeling like it's hard to articulate your responses, feeling like it's hard to be creative, feeling a lack of engagement with work that used to stimulate you. And then when we talk about where Bernard actually comes from, I think this could be really helpful, Allison. It's the concept that it comes from doing things for reasons that we don't love. And that's a really vague answer. But when it's in your real life, what that looks like is doing things because you feel like you should. So you've sort of outsourced some authority over why you're doing what you're doing. It can look like obligation. Yeah. Um, speaking of the holidays, right? Like if there are things on your calendar that feel like obligation, that's probably like again, these negative spectrum emotions are raising their hands to be like, maybe there's a chance for us to be closer in alignment with what you really want and need in those things. Yeah.

Alison Herlihy:

You know, it seems like I think a lot of us feel, I mean, I felt this way myself, like you just get so on the treadmill and used to doing all the things and like taking care of everything for everybody that you forget to think about why I am doing these things. Yeah, right.

Tarah Keech:

It's like we live so so much in the the mental space of just doing and having to do, and just the next thing and then the alarm rings. And it's like like in the 80s, there was the making the donuts guy from Dunkin' Donut, like you just wake up and then it's time to make the donuts, you just do it and you get really good at it. So we live separate from our physical and emotional state when we're just in that mental going and doing state. And it's that mental and emotional space that's that's usually the opportunity for us to connect back in.

Alison Herlihy:

Wow. So doing things for reasons you don't love. I'm gonna remember that.

Tarah Keech:

Yeah.

Alison Herlihy:

Among the people that you've coached, I know some with high pressure corporate jobs, people running their own businesses, people in the law like us. Um, what internal or mindset shifts tend to have the biggest impact on avoiding burnout and improving leadership?

Tarah Keech:

I'm gonna give the simplest distillation of an answer here. And it's giving ourselves grace that our ambition can evolve. So I think I call it the evolution of ambition. It's that, and you see this with people who are really successful, who probably their whole lives have been gifted or or excelled gold star students. But you don't give yourself permission that what you want can change as you go forward. And oftentimes we judge ourselves when we have all these like success points on paper. Like we've done all the things, we've climbed the ladder, we've achieved everything that we've ever set out to achieve. And it doesn't feel like it's quite enough.

Alison Herlihy:

Yeah.

Tarah Keech:

And so it's giving yourself, first of all, like just recognizing that that's a really human experience. It's a really almost universally shared experience. So it doesn't mean that anything's wrong. And then listening to what's showing up in those moments where it feels like the contrast between where you are and what you could even want, or even recognizing what you want is there. It's it's nothing is wrong with you. It's not even a problem. It's just, I like to use the word invitation because it is like a calling, an opportunity for you to check back in with who you are now and what you want next. It's or how can you be more content with what you've got? It speaks to everybody on a different in a slightly different way.

Alison Herlihy:

Yeah. It sounds kind of similar to that concept of like the sunk cost fallacy, you know, like I've invested so much in X for so long that I can't deviate from the path. But you know, I I think it's never too late, right? I mean, you can always change.

Tarah Keech:

We woke up today. Yeah. Like, um, and I do I I often cite back to one of the clients I had earliest in my practice who was a physician who had just retired, and of course, like had grown her own private practice, had gone through all sorts of different accreditations and like was an expert in her field, spoke at international stages, at international conferences, and she retired and she said, What a waste! She's like, My whole career was a waste because it's not really what I wanted to do. I just couldn't break away from it. And it was only in that moment where she gave herself grace to recognize who she really was and what she really wanted in that moment that she was able to tap back into what purpose looked like at this new stage in her life. So it's not too late. There's no such thing as a waste. Everything that you've gone through up until now has created this moment in your life, and you get to choose what to do with it. Um, and there's nobody to please other than ourselves. You know this, Allison, right? Yeah. And your clients see that too. There's no one to please. That's just what do you want to do with this life? Yeah.

Alison Herlihy:

Yeah. Well, many, many of our listeners also run, you know, small law firms or small businesses. What are a few simple but essential leadership or self-management practices that they could start implementing right now that would pay off over time?

Tarah Keech:

You know, I I really love the work of Simon Sinek when when this question's asked, it's starting with why, and maybe it's reconnecting with why in these moments, especially for for yourself as a leader, but also as an opportunity to engage with your team. You work with brilliant people who do their job really well. These people could do work almost anywhere, but they chose to do this work here. You chose this work in this moment. Why did you choose this? What about that reason matters? So guiding yourself through those reflections or giving your team the opportunity to do this individually or as a group can be a really powerful touchstone back to why you're doing what you're doing. And then you can look at how we can do it in a way that creates more of that value, helps us honor more of that why. I think that's a really it's a beautiful thing to do often, but especially at the end of the year, it gives you a really like um like a chapter turning page where you can look back over what you've done and where you want to go next.

Alison Herlihy:

Yeah. Well, when it comes to goal setting, how do you balance ambition with well-being?

Tarah Keech:

Yeah. The simplest answer to this is why are you doing what you're doing? Who are you doing it for? And if the answer is anything that feels other than absolutely true and authentically you, that's the opportunity to dial back in, simplify where your priorities are coming from and where they're going back to the difference that you really want to create. And some of those why answers can like fall forward into this sort of planning where you look at um where you want to go next and the intention that you want to have for that outcome.

Alison Herlihy:

For someone in a helping profession, like let's just say, for instance, a lawyer, you know, that deals with really heavy family law issues, like just totally hypothetically. Um, what's one mindset or boundary shift that can make 2026 more sustainable and fulfilling?

Tarah Keech:

I think the most important thing is to recognize that the negative emotions, this even the stress, even the burnout that you may not recognize as emotional experiences, are not problems. They're signals. Um lawyers, you guys are data driven. This is not a new concept for you, but I want you to consider that your emotions are part of your data set. So when you're feeling stressed and overwhelmed, it doesn't mean that you're doing anything wrong. It means that the stress and overwhelm are showing you opportunities for positive change. That can sometimes look like simplifying, sometimes it can look like pivoting, sometimes it can be as simple as declining invitations or delegating tasks, um, hiring new teams, upskilling team members. It can look like any number of things. If you're listening to the negative emotion and not making it a problem, it can be monumentally pivotal.

Alison Herlihy:

Well, I know many people associate coaching with like career growth or productivity. Um, but how much does personal identity, self-worth, and self-awareness factor into real professional success?

Tarah Keech:

That's probably the biggest distinction between the work that I get to do with my clients and the work that the coaching industry, um, the value that they provide. Certainly, I want to help you reach your goals if they're goals that are aligned with who you want to be in this next chapter, in order to find out who you want to be and what that could look like and help yourself be accountable in ways that feel life-giving versus like rigorous and discipline and more of like the same old that's no longer working for you. It is essential for you to be honest with yourself about who you are, what your values are, and where the gaps are in the outcomes that you've created versus what you really want your life, where you want the meaning to be, um, the difference you want to make, how you want to feel. Um, so it's it's the axle in transformation. Yeah.

Alison Herlihy:

Yeah. Well, for people that have maybe never done really any self-reflection or coaching, what's a good first step, especially as we're thinking about like end of year 2025 leading into like our goal setting for 2026?

Tarah Keech:

I love this question because it harkens back to the flywheel, if you will, that I use in the work that I do with my clients, where the very first step is for you to want. The very first step is to acknowledge that you want something to be different, you want change, you want to grow, you want peace, you want rest. And acknowledging that you desire that, um, that's the first step. So you have to be serious about it if you want to do this work. This is not passive transformation. This is intentional transformation. And in order to do it fully, to do it well, you have to want it.

Alison Herlihy:

How would you advise people to structure their life and work check-ins in 2026? Like, do you like journaling? Is it is it boundary setting? Is it learning how to do a little self-coaching? Like, what are some what are some strategies?

Tarah Keech:

You know, I love all of those tools. The biggest, the biggest transformation that I've had in my life over the last five or six years is recognizing that what feels good to me doesn't necessarily feel good to other people. So again, like permission giving, not that anyone needs my permission, but at this point in your life, you know what works well for you. If you're a journaler, you're a journaler. If you're a runner and things just come to you in those moments, that's great. If you do meditate or do yoga, like use the practices that work. You do not have to reinvent the wheel. In fact, like it should feel really simple. It doesn't always feel easy, but it should be simple for you to tap into what works for you and you know, continue to decide if this is what you want or if you want to experiment with something different. More than being rigorous, I want you to be curious and open.

Alison Herlihy:

Well, I mean, you know me, like I'm a big yoga practitioner and I love to journal and all that kind of stuff. But you know, something I implemented a couple years ago is I get up and walk a mile every morning when I wake up without any uh headphones or I don't bring my phone even. And um, that has been so powerful for me to it's just amazing how much you can um, you know, sort of just brainstorm not even on purpose when you don't constantly have input, you know, like most of us do all the time. You know, you listen to a podcast or music or reading the news or looking at social media or whatever, and we don't have many moments that we can just be in silence and you know observe what's around us.

Tarah Keech:

You know, it's this I don't know if this is appropriate or not, but we were I was in a shopping center recently and they were we were we went to the restroom with my kids and there were two people on the phone, like installs them both sides of me. It's like you don't even have a like they they don't even have a moment. Oh, in the bathroom. In the bathroom, like they don't even have that moment to just be like with their body with themselves. Right. So we do live really saturated lives. Yeah. Um, I love that for you.

Alison Herlihy:

Um so for listeners who lead a team or a small business, how can they introduce coaching or self-awareness-based practices without like overwhelming themselves or their staff?

Tarah Keech:

Well, they can always call me and I'm happy to facilitate that. The thing that is often cited and very rarely consistently implemented is the idea of psychological safety. And the way that I talk about that is letting it be okay that you work with and for humans, um, that humans are on your team and they come to the table with this whole library encyclopedia really of experiences that that they are pulling into every interaction that you have. They are very physical, emotional, and mental beings. Um, and letting it be okay, first of all, that they have those experiences and then inviting them to be contributors to the culture, contributors to the direction of the company in ways that feel good. I'm not saying give away all of your authority or your licensing. Um, but let them be humans with you. Invite them to contribute, let them know that you're listening. I think that can be really pivotal in changing the culture in a way that helps you create the future that honors the values that you have for your own practice or or your own business.

Alison Herlihy:

Yeah, living into your values like everywhere. That's so key. Yeah. Well, for those who've tried other kinds of support before, like coaching or self-coaching or therapy or whatever, but felt like it didn't quite click. Why might coaching look or feel different or potentially more effective?

Tarah Keech:

You know, I love to distinguish, and I'm a big proponent of therapy. I'm a big proponent of coaching. Coaching isn't therapy. Therapy is really designed to help you heal and to help you become like a higher level of functioning and bring you from the past to the present. Coaching is here to help you execute your intention toward the future and help you create accountability and clarity around that. So, coaching is a very different methodology, it's a very different approach, and it creates an outcome that is very different. Um, yeah.

Alison Herlihy:

Um, how can someone overcome resistance to self-reflection and commit to sustainable change without burning out again? You know, I mean, start looking inward at those thoughts, it can look scary in there, right?

Tarah Keech:

It can look scary. And people because you're high achievers are if you are listening to this, you're a high achiever. I I imagine self-selecting into that crowd. We often use like the coaching and self-reflection work against ourselves. We just add it to our to-do list, and then when we don't hit the to-do list, it feels like even more of a failure. And then we internalize and like um spiral downward. The resistance is real. Again, I want you to come back to what do you want? What do you want that could be different? What do you want more of? Um, and I want you to consider this. This may be a slight tweak in how you're considering your goals, or even if if the coaching is the right tool for you to pick up in this moment. You can want a different emotional experience next year. Um, for example, last week I was coaching with a group and I had a client who named that she wanted more freedom and more creativity for 2026 rather than. A specific like set of KPIs or or actual goals or metrics in some other format, what she really wanted to feel was an emotional and like a mental state of freedom and creativity. You can choose that for what you want. And then it becomes as simple as when you look at your to-do list, when you look at your plans, your quarterly plans or your strategic plan for the next year or chapter, how can I create more freedom and creativity with this decision? When you're accepting or declining meetings or delegating tasks, what option do I have in this moment that creates more of the sense of freedom and creativity? So pulling it forward into your real life, as you mentioned, like really living your values. Yeah. Yeah.

Alison Herlihy:

Why do you think it's so hard for people to like think about, acknowledge, live into what they want? Why do we have such a hard time with that?

Tarah Keech:

Because we don't think we'll get it. Right. And nobody wants to be a failure, especially high achievers like Brilliant Miles, um, are pretty chronically avoiding failure, especially at this stage in our careers. You've got a track record. So it's almost like it doesn't cost fallacy, but the stakes are higher that there may be a perceived risk of failure. And I just want to offer that that's a narrative. Um, that's a thought that is optional to believe. You do not have to choose to believe it or define it that way. Um, and if you're feeling if I'm pushing buttons right now, it's probably um an indication that you're ready to shift some of those definitions for yourself. So I want you to consider like, what is real success in your life look like?

Alison Herlihy:

Yeah. I mean, you know, I think the whole theme is just it's never too late to rewrite your own story, right? You can choose. Yeah. I mean, and that's something we talk with clients about all the time, like trying to approach, you know, divorce is so devastating for people, but you have the power to look at this as a fresh start, you know, instead of only an ending.

Tarah Keech:

That's right.

Alison Herlihy:

Um, yeah, and it's all about the stories we tell ourselves, right? Like you were saying.

Tarah Keech:

Yeah.

Alison Herlihy:

So, well, Tara, this has been such a powerful conversation. Thank you so much for helping us pause, reflect, and uh get intentional about what's ahead. I appreciate your insights, your honesty, and your practical wisdom. Uh, for our listeners, if this resonated with you, consider taking a few minutes this week to reflect on 2025, maybe journal a bit and ask yourself, what do you want to carry forward into 2026 or what's the story you want to tell in 2026? Tara, how can people connect with you if they want to learn more or work with you?

Tarah Keech:

I would love to invite you to reach out to me directly. I'll give you links, I'm sure, in the podcast notes. But my name is Tara Keach, T-A-R-A-H-K-E-E-C-H, and you can find me at the.com of my name. So Tara Keitsch.com. And I'm starting a new offer in the spring. We're calling it Power Hour. You don't have to engage in a full lengthy coaching relationship. We can just sit together for an hour. You can share where you're at, what you know about what you do and don't want next. And I'll share back with you what I see and give you some reflection prompts to take that even deeper. You can find more information at terakeach.com slash power hour.

Alison Herlihy:

That's great. Well, thank you again so much, Tara, for being here. And thanks everybody for listening. Until next time.

Intro/Close:

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