Deep Riches with Brenda Turner
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Deep Riches with Brenda Turner
How to be a RICH WOMAN in a man's world (Practical tips)
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Well, hello, you glitter covered alien. In today's episode, we're going to talk about how to grow your business with the power of feminism. I want to start with a quick definition of feminism so that we don't get it twisted. And I want to also just preface this episode by saying, I really don't want to be talking about this, but I feel I have to talk about this. Okay? Feminism is simply the equal treatment of women. Period. It's the ability of women to do whatever they like to do in this world so long as it doesn't harm another human being. It's the equal treatment of women as equal human beings, regardless of our gender. That's it. The fact that feminism has to exist is unfortunate, but it does. Because without feminism, women wouldn't be able to have bank accounts without our husband or our father's permission. Without feminism, women wouldn't be able to buy property without our husband or her father's permission. Without feminism, women wouldn't have been able to get jobs in certain fields. Without feminism, we wouldn't be able to wear pants in public. Without feminism, there's a long list of things that we wouldn't be able to do. I could go on and on. This isn't a women's history class. This is just an important understanding of why feminism exists. Without feminism, this world abuses and mistreats women. To be clear, I'm not a victim. There's no woman who's a victim in this world. We're all very empowered beings, but but it is an unfortunate truth that the world that we live in right now is still built on something called patriarchy. And patriarchy is a system that subjugates and minimizes and abuses all the people that are in that society, men and women, but especially women. And right now there's a resurgence of misogyny. There's a resurgence at the highest levels at the government, administrative, executive, every every area of our country has been infused with a brand new resurgence. I don't know how brand new it is, but it's certainly a mega resurgence of absolute toxic misogyny. I just recently heard this speech from a leader at the Heritage Foundation, which which is arm in arm with the Donald Trump administration. Take a quick listen to this.
SPEAKER_01Every effort must be recreate must be made not to recruit women into engineering, but rather to recruit and demand more of men who become engineers. Ditto for med school and the law and every trade. If every Nobel Prize winner is a man, that's not a failure. It's kind of a cause for celebration. Why can't our celebration of male excellence in sports be translated into all facets of life? More successful men will mean more happy citizenry and a stronger nation. Such medicated, quarrelsome, and meddlesome women gain their meaning through the seeming participation in the global project. They are agents of the new world, but not new life. Such women are now the backbone of every left-wing cosmopolitan party in the Western world, from the Greens in Germany to the Democratic Party in America. And if our ideal woman is a childless media scold or a barren bureaucratic apparachuk, there is no question whether we can have a future. We can't. There is a question of whether we deserve one.
SPEAKER_00Okay, he sounds lovely, doesn't he? Now, normally I wouldn't include a clip of such an angry little lizard beast on my podcast, an angry little man. But it's important for us to have our eyes wide open about what our government thinks about us, about the political figures that are enforcing laws and writing laws and influencing what, you know, what's going on in our country, what they're saying. So this isn't some manosphere loser guy. This is actually somebody with some political power. And it's important for us to know that. So part of the reason that there's a resurgence in feminism and there seems to be a quote unquote gender war is because the men in this country who are in charge are trying to chip away at many generations of progress in women's rights. They're trying to chip away at our right to vote, chip away at our right to work, chip away at our right to live our lives. So make no mistake about it, yes, there's a resurgence of feminism. So why I'm doing this particular podcast and why I'm a staunch feminist, and why I have been for the majority of my life is because I get a thrill of teaching people, human beings, how to get power. And power in whatever way that means for you. So in today's episode, I'm gonna be giving some balance to this conversation and giving you some practical tools that are of the feminist nature that are gonna help your business to thrive. The tools that I'm going to give you are gonna help you to make millions if you'd like to. And they're all rooted in feminism. And the first tool I'm gonna offer is that I'm a universal being. I'm not a woman. I'm not a woman first. I am a woman in body, but first and foremost, I am a universal being. So that's how I operate my business. I'm operating from that which brings me inspiration. I'm operating from that which brings me joy. I'm operating from that which inspires me. And that's first and foremost. So whether you're a man or a woman, woman listening to this, when you let go of your gender controlling what you do and don't do in this world, you'll find that you're gonna make a lot more money. Okay, so universal being first, gender is second. The next thing that I do is when I am operating as a woman in this world, when I am living from that human experience of being a woman, I'm operating from the aspect of being a wild woman. I'm a wild woman. I'm a woman who runs with wolves, as Clarissa Pinkola Estes says. I am a wild woman not to be tamed. Don't fuck with me. Don't tell me what to do. I don't want to be in the garden. Sometimes I might want to be in the garden, and that's nice. Sometimes I want I might want to hang out at the cat cafe or whatever. But I'm a wild woman. So I don't have any interest in the soft life. Okay. That's that's my number one practical tool and tip today for growing your profits is please abandon the soft life propaganda. Abandon that trad life bullshit. If you want to be traditional and have the picket fence and all that stuff, I love that for you, and that's beautiful. That's your choice, of course. But I really, really hate, and I mean hate anything that puts women or men in a box because some of us want to express our femininity in a certain way, and some of us might want to express it in another way, you know. We've all of us human beings have some masculine and feminine traits, and all of us have a different and unique expression of those things. It is absolute, utter nonsense to be ascribing at this point in time what deem what's deemed feminine. I especially think this has crept into the safe spaces that should be just for spiritual enrichment and spiritual liberation, those new age circles have become a cesspool of feminist, uh of misogynist propaganda that is anti-feminist. Misogynist propaganda parading around as divine feminine coaching, masquerading and parading around as soft life feminism. Stop it. The soft life feminist bullshit, the soft life coaching, the soft life nonsense, what it's telling us is it's telling us that we're fragile little glass, you know, little glass dolls. And that the highest expression of our being is something that looks like flowery dresses and lots and lots of pink and bow of feathers and getting taken care of and pampered all damn day. For some of us, maybe that's the highest possible expression of your entire being. But for every woman that I personally know, there's so much depth and richness, just like any other human being, for God's sakes. I don't know a single woman in my life whose aspiration is just to sit at home and do nothing. And those who do have that as an aspiration, I think there's sometimes people do think that that's their aspiration. I'm not gonna gaslight you and say that's not your aspiration. But I think really deep down, your true actual self has a lot of dreams and goals, but you're just too damn scared that you're gonna fail, that you won't be able to do it. So I think soft life nonsense, that soft life bullshit, is a way to hold women back, is a way to kind of truncate our being. It's a way to kind of declaw us, you know? I think there are millions of women who are highly impressionable, especially those young women, right now, watching all this soft life divine feminine bullshit propaganda, they're getting declawed. They're getting clipped, their wings are getting clipped. So if you happen to be listening to this, there's like a 90% chance you're not on that soft life train. But if you want to grow a business and you want it to be successful and you want to generate a really actually magnificent life, let's stop idealizing and glorifying the soft life. We can't idealize and glorify and you know look up to a soft life situation and expect anything except for a truncated getting your getting your claws clipped, getting your wings clipped, living in a little cage. You want a soft life? Enjoy that cage, my friend. Enjoy the cage. There's nothing soft about business. You know, you can enjoy it. I would say one of the last adjectives I would use to describe my business is soft. My business is exciting, it's thrilling, it's creative, expansive. You know, it causes me to sweat in a good way. It causes me to really, my brain sweats. I have calluses on my hands. Not from my work, not from my online work, but because I don't like that soft life bullshit. I'm not you, you know, and if you like the soft life, I love that for you. But there are lots of women who think that there's something wrong with them if they have no interest in that aesthetic. I don't want to wear the Pilates pants. I don't give a shit about matcha and Pilates. This is just me speaking frankly, and I'm sorry for the F-bombs if you don't like it. But once again, this is my expression of my being. I like doing pull-ups. I like making great money. I like showing up with a really exciting work project. I like having something really great on my plate on a regular basis to really dig into. And I most certainly don't want to be taken care of by a provider man. Okay? That's just my MO on it. So I think that if you're hanging out in those corners of the internet, I'm not telling you you're wrong, but I'm most certainly telling you that don't expect a successful business if you're just blindly in pursuit and running away from the storm. If you're blindly in pursuit of the softness and you're running away from any bit of grit and you don't want to get your hands dirty, you don't want to get in there and get in the mud and really make something great and garden and plant those seeds. You know, if you want a beautiful garden, you're gonna have to get in there and get your hands dirty. You're gonna have to get some dirt under your nails, you're gonna have to get some calluses, you're gonna have to fall on your fucking face. You know? You're gonna have to fall on your face. I know that I don't sound very soft, and that's that's on purpose, that's intentional. I'm not, I'm not particularly a soft woman. And this world tells you, oh no, you're not a soft woman. No, I'm not. And I'm not gonna apologize for that. I'm a wild woman who runs with with the wolves. If you haven't read that book, by the way, that was a book that changed my life. Please go ahead and read that book. In fact, let me read you just a quick little bit from it. I did I did pull a quote from this book, and I just wanted to kind of give you an idea of the wild woman. A healthy woman is much like a wolf, robust, chalk-ful, strong life force, life-giving, territorially aware, inventive, loyal, roving. Yet separation from the wildish nature causes a woman's personality to become meager, thin, ghosty, spectral. We are not meant to be puny with frail hair and an inability to leap up, inability to chase, to birth, to create a life. When women's lives are in stasis or filled with enuy, it is always time for the wildish woman to emerge. It is time for the creating function of the psyche to flood the delta. How does wild woman affect woman? With her as ally, as leader, model, teacher, we see not through two eyes, but through the eyes of intuition, which is many-eyed. When we assert intuition, we are therefore like the starry night. We gaze at the world through a thousand eyes. The wild nature carries the bundles for healing. She carries everything a woman needs to be and know. She carries the medicine for all things. She carries stories and dreams and words and songs and signs and symbols. She is both the vehicle and destination. Now, my friend, I hope you pick up that book, by the way. That's an oldie but a goodie, a classic that I think every woman should read. Now, my friend, if you're listening to this as an online business owner and you happen to be a woman or a man, this has helped for men too. That abandoning of the soft life, please don't, you know, castrate yourself for lack of a better word. Um, please don't clip your wings. Please stop chasing that soft life. Please go directly into the storm. Please know that you're gonna fall flat on your face and that's great. You're gonna fail at this and that's great. There's gonna be some hard work and that's great. I can't tell you the magnificent feeling of being an independent, successful, financially free woman in this world. Okay. It's just the most magnificent feeling, but it takes a lot of mind work to get there. Which leads me to the next point. The next point that I wanted to share is just to center yourself. Center yourself. Center yourself. Men have mastered this. I don't know if you've noticed. Men are really good at this. It's just a given. Now, once again, I'm not I'm not a man hater. My best friend is a man. My partner of 17 years was a magnificent man, brilliant man. Um, you know, I've got mentors that that were amazing that are amazing men. Some of my favorite teachers are men. But every single one of them, every single one of the men in my life that I that I adore that are so great, part of the reason that they're so fantastic and what makes them so great is the fact that they're able to center themselves. It's a very strong energy. Okay. Women are taught to center everybody else except themselves. One of the things I can point you to is the fact that most women spend an inordinate amount of time worried about how they're perceived by men. Many of the women in my life spend so much money, so much effort, so much time trying to find a man, trying to date a man, trying to look good for men, worried about how they look, worried about how they're perceived, worried about if he's thinking about them, worried about is he texting me, is he calling me, is he this? Is he that? After having many male friends in my life, I was a personal trainer for years there. Most of my friends were men at the gym because most personal trainers that I worked with were men. None of them were thinking about these things. None of them. Every single one of the men that I've worked with, that I've loved, that have been, you know, the center of my life, they all have centered themselves. You know, even the family men. Of course, they work to support their family, of course they love their family. But nine times out of 10, they're centering themselves. This is a subtle energetic shift, but I think it would help us in today's day and age to get a little more balance for women to start centering themselves. And I've been doing this for a really long time. Now, it took me a lot of work to get here. Um, like the partner I had for 17 years, he was always the center of everything. Once again, I love him dearly, always will. He's one of the best friends I will ever have. Amazing person, but he centered himself. He centered himself from the get-go. He centered himself from the start. And every man that I've ever dated has centered themselves. And this isn't a make-wrong. This isn't a bad thing. This is just how it is. So he centered himself. And he, by the way, like I mentioned before, he had a really easy time and making great money. That's always been a gift of his. And I think part of it is because of what I just said. He's really focused and he's always centered on himself. Not in a selfish way, but just in a when it comes to his life work, he's centered. It's right there. It's in the middle of his life, and that's the center focus point of his life. And everything else supports that. So here's how it works for me. I never ever center anybody ever at the center of my life except for myself. There's no other healthy way to do this, as far as I'm concerned. I'm putting myself at the center of my life. Another way to put that is I'm putting the true aspects of myself at the center of my life, meaning I'm putting God at the center of my life. Okay. I'm putting love at the center of my life because my true self is God. My true self is love. My true self is the eternal aspects of who and what I am. And my work comes from that place. But I'm never ever, ever again, as long as I shall live, putting anybody at the center of my life because I've learned that when I do that, it's not, it's not healthy. It's a recipe for disaster. It's a recipe for overgiving. And it's also a recipe for a struggle bus when it comes to your business. So I put myself at the center of my life. I put my business front and center. When I'm dating people, the the shift of this is when I've been dating people and um, and this is the case, most men don't like this. Okay. And so be it. So be it. I made the mistake, like I said, for a long time there centering men, and it set me back in a big way. Body, mind, and spirit. I didn't realize how how much it set me back until I stopped doing that. And then when I stopped doing that, I saw, man, I flourish in every area of my life, including my business. It also, in my opinion, makes me a much healthier, more balanced partner because I'm not overgiving. And I want you to pay attention to the fact that even me talking about these things, it kind of makes your skin crawl a little bit. It's almost like putting two left shoes on because it's so foreign for women to think about putting yourself first, putting your business first, putting yourself at the center of your life instead of romantic partnership. I know that sounds so unfeminine because our culture is steeped in misogyny. Our culture is steeped in patriarchy. Our culture has trained women that if you're not putting men at the center of your life, you're doing something wrong. Men don't ever have to have these conversations because it's just a given that, of course, men are living for themselves. You know, you will never hear a conversation amongst a group of men where they're saying we need to really put women in the center of our lives. Can you imagine? I'm just going to show you a quick clip to give you a for instance of how we miss these things. This is this is a default state for most men. They put themselves at the center of their lives. And so the clip I'm about to show you is Alex Hermosy being asked by Tony Robbins, what does he love about his wife? Listen to this.
SPEAKER_02What made you attracted to your wife when you first met her?
SPEAKER_03The honest truth was that I um I once I met her, I didn't want to not be with her.
SPEAKER_02Yes, why? What qualities about her did you not want to be without?
SPEAKER_03I think she let me be me. Yeah, she loved you for being me. Yeah, she just never tried to change me. And I think that was what was so unique. That's quite miraculous.
SPEAKER_02I have I'm fortunate of the same thing. I found that Sage loved me not because I was Tony Robin, she just loved me. I never experienced that before, right?
SPEAKER_03So, and what else about her besides the fact that she loved you unconditionally? She also loved the same stuff that I loved. Yes. Um, and so when we talked, we just wouldn't stop. Um, and I feel like it has been one very long conversation. We've spent two weekends apart since the day we met.
SPEAKER_00So that's one of the go-to business teachers on the internet and probably in the world right now. A man whose business whose business partner is also his wife, who he claims to love dearly, and I can't doubt him at all. But I want you to notice his answers there centered around him. He never ever once said anything about her. He said what he liked about her in relation to how she treats him. He said, She accepted me, she didn't need me to change. And when Tony Robbins pressed him a little bit more and looked for like an actual overt compliment of Layla, he said, um, she likes what I like. If that doesn't clearly illustrate to you the way that men think, and how probably, just as an aside, how Alex Hermosy got to where he is, he centered himself. Make no mistake about it. And Layla is an armpiece for him, and she's a part of his journey. She's a role in his story. You know what I mean? And I'm not saying that's a healthy way to be in your relationships. I'm not going to tell you how to show up in your relationships, but I just want you to get a quick dose of reality of how a lot of men operate when it comes to business and where they place the women in their lives when it comes to business. So that you're not out there, the reason I'm talking about this is so that you're not out there sacrificing your entire life, putting a man at the center of your life who would never do the same for you. Okay? When you decide to commit yourself to a partner, I it's very, it'd be very wise for you to commit to a partner who sees you as an equal, a human being, and who, you know, when asked, what do you love about this person? I highly suggest you ask your partners, what do you love about me? And see if they actually give you a real deal compliment. Do you know? And make sure that you're in a partnership that's an actual partnership and that you're not some paper doll in a hero's journey story, that you're not some Barbie doll in a role. You know what I'm saying? Because that's the role a lot of women are playing. And we're sacrificing our financial freedom, our financial success. We're sacrificing our dreams, our goals, our visions. We're not even dreaming or, you know, we're not even fully expressing our dreams. We're not even allowing ourselves to think about what our dreams are. Because we've been trained since little childhood, since since the time of a little girl, that some hero's gonna come along, and that's the penultimate expression of our life. Is some Jerry Maguire is gonna come along and complete you, or whatever. Or that some Prince Charming is gonna come along and complete you, or that you know, Richard Gere is gonna come and jump up the freaking um fire escape and swoop you off your feet and get you in the limo, or whatever bullshit story you've been fed since the time of a little girl. Meanwhile, men are fed these little boys and men are fed this completely other heroes' journey that centers the men in their own lives. Men are given superheroes like like Superman. Superman's the center of the whole thing. He's got a love interest who makes him feel strong and powerful. Um, you know, men are given these awesome heroes' journeys archetypes. Men are told to be strong, like fully express yourself, like get out there and take charge. And we're women, we're told that our ultimate expression of our being is to make babies, to cook a bunch of food, to serve that man, to be a little Barbie in his hero's journey. So this shift that I'm offering you is to just really stop at. Um, okay. Another thing that I want to mention, another way that you're gonna grow your profits is to step all the way out of all the hidden misogyny that is currently happening in the new age community. I'm in Austin, and there's all kinds of events out here. And I had a friend invite me out to a place. I was like, okay, it was called a co-ed circle, a gathering circle where we're gonna share. And sometimes in Austin, you never know what you're gonna get, but sometimes you end up in a banging kind of community, and it's a really nice experience. So I went and there was about 60 people in this circle, about half men, half women. And there were three facilitators. There were two men and one woman. We all had no idea what was gonna happen. We're all sitting on cushions in a circle, okay, in a yoga studio that I really like. So the male facilitator, one of the male facilitators, comes up and he's got slick back hair, he's got a puka shell necklace, he's got a leather jacket. It's kind of like Mad Max Fair-year-old character. He looked like he was wearing a costume. So anyway, he told all the guys to stand around us, the women. The women were to sit in the middle of the circle, the men were to stand around us. And these men were to emote and be embodying the masculine. And these men proceeded to growl and grunt and rah, rah, rah. And the women are in the middle of the circle. I know this is sounding so bad shit crazy because it is. Okay. They even turned off the lights. So the lights are off. We're getting these waves of testosterone. It's getting sweaty and hot and it's gross. And I didn't enjoy it. And I'm like, what the hell have I gotten myself into? And the young girl sitting next to me, she's about five years younger than me. Her eyes are like saucers. She's like, holy cow. She didn't say anything, but I'm trying not to laugh hysterically at this ridiculous predicament I've gotten myself into. And eventually this goes on for 15 minutes. We're all just sitting there as the men just rah, rah, rah, and we're quote unquote receiving their masculine energy. Exasperated sigh. And then it's it's the woman's turn. So the woman facilitator, she starts talking and she's basically she's like, okay, now it's the women's turn to emote the divine feminine. And I'm already like, oh Jesus. And she instructs us. I'm thinking, we're gonna get up and stand in a circle around the men now. And we're gonna invoke evoke collie goddess or something. Do you know? But no, she's like, now we're gonna embody them the feminine, and she gets on her hands and knees. Okay? I know. I'm like, what the fuck? She's on her hands and knees. She said, we're gonna get into the divine feminine posture, and she gets on her hands and knees. And she's like, you're then going to emote and vocalize, and you're gonna and I'm thinking, like hell I am. Like hell I am. And they again turn the lights off. The men are sitting around us in a circle, and they're asking the women to get on hands and knees and to, you know, basically quote unquote embody the divine feminine, whatever the fuck that means at this point. And I came to this realization that things have gotten so absolutely batshit ridiculous when it comes to the way women are treated in every aspect of our culture that I had to make this episode because it has now crept into the new age circles. It's crept into the conjecture of news cycles. It's can it's crept into the Wall Street Journal, it's crept into the New York Times. We're having ridiculous debates on the podcast bros where they're asking, is feminism right or wrong? And anyway, flashback to me sitting in the lotus position, just rolling my eyes at the fact that I'm sitting here in this ridiculous, outrageous display of misogyny wrapped up as divine feminine kind of bullshit. Okay. I'm in no way going to allow somebody, anybody, any longer to get out there and say the embodiment of the divine feminine is anything other than what a woman wants to be. And so some of us women don't want to have anything to do with being on hands and knees, gyrating, and purring like a fucking cat to embody our feminine. And if you happen to be a woman who is into that, I congratulate you, I applaud you, and I say, congratulations, you're a human being, and that's your fullest expression of you. I personally don't identify with that. I would have been more suited. My my expression of the divine feminine is a little more suited for I would have been more comfortable standing around the circle and yelling at the men. Do you know what I mean? Not yelling at the men, but whatever, standing up, you know, like being like Holly Goddess, I don't know, doing a couple fire breaths. The whole thing was so ridiculous. So, anyway, I'm gonna end this podcast by giving you a just a rapid fire quick bit of real, like practical, tangible money-making, profit-building strategy. As a woman in this world, I want you to really understand this. The only reason that men have made a lot more money than women, statistically speaking, men, men are the most, by far and away, the most millionaires. They make a lot more money than women just on a grand scale. Things are shifting, though, and a lot more women are getting a lot more power and a lot more money. And I really want to encourage you to go all in on your business. And what this means is kind of what I've been pointing to this whole episode. I want you to be a wild fucking woman in this world. And I know when we hear that kind of language, it kind of sounds a little bit trashy sometimes. So be it. This is the energetic stance that I take in my business. Okay? I'm not fluffy, I'm not a soft girl, I'm not a soft girly, I don't care about the soft life. I also don't care about the hustle culture. I care about really embodying your truest aspects, whatever that might look for you, look like for you. And when you dig deep down into the truest aspects of who and what you are, what you're gonna find is that you're really confident. When you're actually letting go of what society thinks you need to be, how you need to look, what your hair needs to look like, what your clothes need to look like, and all that nonsense. And you just go into fully expressing what's in my heart and soul to express today. How can I really offer this to the world that's in a practical application that people would actually want to buy? Let's put together your offers in a way that people would really understand them and want to buy them. Let's get your chest up nice and high, get your shoulders rolled back, get your chin up, walk into those rooms, those proverbial rooms, whatever those rooms may be. At this point, the room I'm talking about is the online business space. You need to get out there and get your website up. You need to get your offers up, you need to get your YouTube channel going. And I know when you hear all these things, it's like, oh, it sounds a little bit like overwhelm stuff. I think part of the reason some of this stuff overwhelms us is because we've been given this secret signal as women that we're not capable of these things. You're gonna shock the shit out of yourself when you start doing these things. You're gonna really surprise yourself at what you're capable of when you completely abandon all of the nonsense that society has told you you can and can't do, and you just start doing the damn thing. So make a choice. That's my best advice to you is you've got to make a choice. How much would you like to earn this year? Would you like to reach for the stars? If you want to close this year out of a seven-figure year, you can absolutely do that. You can be delusional with it, which is how most men get their wealth. They they get really delusional with where they want to go. They really aim their targets and then they go for it. I've been in the room with lots of successful businessmen. Some of them are my mentors, and there's no secret here. They just believed they could do it and they went out and did it. And ultimately, that's my message here is to really get crystal clear about what it is your fullest expression would look and feel like at any given moment. That's gonna ebb and flow throughout your life. There's gonna be periods where you are maybe living a soft life, and then there's inevitably gonna be periods where you're gonna want to get your hands dirty. You're gonna want to get in there and work. And that's true for both men and women. Okay, so the ultimate expression of feminism, I believe, is really following your heart and not have not letting your gender have any bearing on what you can or can't do in this world. That means go out there and get it. Get really clear about you what you want and go out there and really make it happen. Go out there and get it. Okay, my friend. So thank you so much for spending this time with me today. I hope you had a blast with me. I really enjoyed making this episode. Every time that you leave a review on my podcast, a wild woman gets her claws. So you might want to go ahead and leave a five star rating if you loved the episode. I really appreciate that. And I always appreciate your time today. I'm rooting for you. I know you can do it. Let's get that money, let's follow your dreams, let's make it happen. I'm always here for you, and I'll see you in the next episode.