Deep Riches with Brenda Turner

How to Make Life-Changing Choices

• Brenda Turner

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SPEAKER_00

Well, hello, you beautiful eternal being. In today's episode, I wanted to start us off on the San Juan Mountains. And you're just gonna imagine with me for a moment that we're on the mountaintop on a beautiful sofa. Don't ask me how I got up here. It's crushed velvet and it's blue and it's gorgeous and it's comfortable. And we're just sitting on the San Juan Mountains together, and I say, Hey, you got something on your back? And you say, What? What? And then all of a sudden you remember you have this magnificent sword on your back. It's this tool that you've had since you were a baby, but you forgot about it. And I say, Yeah, you got it on your back. What is the sword I'm talking about? Go ahead and grab that sword and I'll show you what it is. It's called the sword of choice. The sword of choice that I'm going to be talking about in today's episode is something most human beings have forgotten that they have. It's the most powerful tool that we have at our disposal besides love. This powerful tool called choice, you have can change the fabric of your reality in this moment right now. It can change who you are in this moment right now. It can change your life if you use it the right way. And so today's podcast is going to help you to use the power of choice in a way that will transform your business, your profits, and every area of your life if you so choose. If you're having any difficulties with getting things up off the ground when it comes to your online business, there might be some choices that you need to make. Some choices are probably in order. And I'm going to just give you a quick little framework on choices. So, what are choices? It's really important for us to cover what is a choice. Now, a lot of people hear choices and they think like spaghetti or mozzarella. Should I have the tacos or should I have the fajitas? When you make a choice to set a goal, you know, it's like every year in January, people make these New Year's resolutions. That's not what I'm talking about. So the kind of choice I'm talking about today, we can also call them decisions. These are actually energetic shifts that you're creating in your body, mind, and spirit that totally transform the person you are in this very instant now. In this now moment, if I make a definite choice in this moment now, it completely changes who I am in this moment now. It doesn't have to happen down the line. I'm not waiting for some outside evidence to show me about the decision I just made. I make the decision and then the outside world is going to reflect that back to me. I am not talking about manifestation law of attraction. I'm talking about something so much bigger. In this moment now, when you choose on the level that I'm talking about here, you have abandoned an old way of being, an old way of thinking, an old way of interfacing with this world. And you step into an entirely different way to interface with this world. You're a brand new person. If you make choices from a definite place, I mentioned this in a newsletter that I sent out a few weeks ago. I initially kind of learned this from Tony Robbins in one of his books. I think it was Awaken the Giant Within. And I circled it. And the way he talked about decisions was he said, a decision means to cut off all other options. And I read that book. I think I was 19 when I read it. And it really rang true for me. And I said, yeah, that makes sense. So from that point, I started making decisions from this place. But what happened was over the past few decades, since I started kind of exercising the power of decision and choice, I can actually see now, after interfacing with lots of different clients and customers over the past 16 years of doing online business, I've interfaced with probably hundreds of thousands of people at this point. I can see that when you make a decision from this really powerful place, when you make a choice from this really powerful place, you become a new person in that moment. So before you go doing anything else for your business, before you go doing anything else for your body, for your health, before you go doing anything else when it comes to whatever it is that you're trying to do out there, feeling your best, looking your best, finding a partner, whatever it is. In this moment now, if you could just make a definite choice, please don't leave this podcast without making a definite choice of some kind, whatever that choice might be. Now, here's the magic thing. Right now, in this moment, I know for a fact there's something in your life that you've been wanting to make a choice on. It's been rattling around in your brain. Okay, I'm walking you through the process. This is what I've done over and over again for the past two decades. And it never fails. So there's something snagging your attention. There's something snagging you that's wanting you to make a choice right now. It's the thing that keeps happening over and over and over and over and over and over again. A recurring thought, a recurring issue, or maybe a recurring craving, desire, something you're really wanting in your life. Whatever that may be, I'm gonna kind of leave it open-ended. But one of the things for me was when I started my online business. When I started my online business, I had been knowing that I wanted to start my online business for at least a couple years before I started it.

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Okay.

SPEAKER_00

And I was like, you know, learning about it. I was doing all this research and all that stuff. And then when I finally made the decision, it was so definite. And in that moment, I became a business owner. In that moment, when I made that choice, I became a business owner. I could feel it. You're already a business owner, but I'm saying we can use this in every area of our business. So if you haven't yet hit a consistent five-figure revenue month, that's somewhere that you can start using the power of choice. That's a great way to use it. That's a really good choice to make for your business, is profit targets. My business is, I've chosen to hit such and such a profit target every month consistently. If you sit down and get quiet and listen to your soul, it's telling you what is called for right now. And in order to bring that out into the world, you must make a choice to honor that and do it justice. Now, choice is scary, that's a commitment. A commitment is scary because that means you're gonna have to let go of something. So a lot of people don't make definite choices because they're afraid that they're gonna fail. And it doesn't make any sense that thought process, because if you actually make a choice and it's a hard and definite choice, and you don't have any other option, and you've made the definite choice, failure is not an option. You're gonna try and you might fail along the way, but there's a definite destination. You've chosen and you're gonna figure out the way. So one of the beautiful participants in the YouTube Breakthrough Challenge is coming to mind. She came up and she was kind of asking me about what do you think about a low-ticket offer? And I heard that those are doing really well right now, and I could just get a feeling that she didn't really want to do that, that it wasn't really the fullest expression of her work. And she spoke with such power and she commanded attention, you know, when she spoke, I could hear that she was um very well versed in inward. I could tell that she was a really good teacher and I could tell that she knew her stuff, whatever it was. I didn't even know what she was talking about, but I could just tell she knew her stuff. And I could tell that she could definitely have a strong presence in the online space. And I said, um, well, what ultimately are you wanting the whole thing to look like? And she just froze. She didn't even want to say it. She didn't dare to even say it. And I said, Is that your grandest vision for your for your business? I said, the low ticket option, this is how it works traditionally in my world, there's nothing wrong with low ticket or high ticket. I said the low ticket option typically is meant to, you know, be a bridge to your higher ticket offerings, but there's no right or wrong way. But is that low ticket offer like the highest expression of the whole thing? She was just trying to play it really safe. And so I said, basically, I'm just gonna say word for word, more or less what I told her. I said, how would it feel to think up the highest vision of the whole thing? And I could see her face kind of like she, like she'd been found out. And she's like, Yeah, you know, I I recently did some work about that, and I know that that's what I want to be doing. There's a grand vision for the whole thing, and it does feel really expansive, but I just don't know if I'm gonna make it. I just don't know if it's realistic. I just don't know if it's possible. And that's more or less exactly why I'm making this because I keep having this conversation over and over and over and over and over again. I've had this conversation at least a couple hundred times over the last 16 years when my friends or acquaintances and now my my clients or people coming through my live events are telling me the same thing over and over again. They're not making the definite choice because they're not sure if it's gonna work. And I'm telling you, you have to flip that logic. It will only ever work if you make a definite choice. Now, I'm gonna take you through this in real time and kind of give you some pointers. The first pointer is proceed with caution because when you start to really understand the power of choice as I'm teaching it to you here, there's no going back. Ignorance is truly bliss. And when you understand that you have this power, you're no longer gonna be able to lie to yourself. So that's a gift and a curse, to be honest. I can't ever lie to myself because I know when you experience this firsthand, the power that choice has in your life, not like average run-of-the-mill choice. I'm talking this all caps choice. When you understand and experience the power of this choice, there's no going back. Okay, so take something that you'd like to make a choice with me on in this moment, whatever that is. I don't care what choice you're bringing to the table, bring a choice that you know with a capital K, you know you're ready to make. Something that is a soul-led want. Something that you really, really, really with 10,000 L's want. The power of choice cannot be wielded all willy-nilly. We only use this for something that we know we want. Something that we know we truly want. This requires a great deal of radical honesty. So if you're not sure if you want something, this choice situation isn't a wise thing to do with things you're not really sure that you want. This is why I've only made a couple mega choices. I've made a couple mega choices in my life and in my business that I'll share with you in a minute here. But we save this powerful choice making process for those things that are mega important to us. Okay. So bring it to the table. Whatever it is, that's a mega want. Your soul-led want. No lying to yourself. Be brutally honest in this moment and don't bring anything you're not sure about. It's really important that you understand there's nothing wrong with having things you're not sure about. That's fine. But when there are things you're sure about that you're certain about, don't lie to yourself. Bring it to this situation and let's make a choice about it. Now, in this moment now, it is 100,000 percent not an option to let go of anything else except for making this thing happen. And you, by knowing that you really want this for yourself, and really it's a soul-led want, in this moment, what's being called for is your choosing to be a groundskeeper in your life. So the choice, the stance, the positioning of the whole thing, are you willing to take care of this of this choice? Are you willing to actually make this happen? And by make it happen, I mean, are you willing to do everything in your power to make this happen? Are you willing and ready in this moment to make this happen? I know you're waiting for disco balls to fall from the sky, but that's not how it works. This is actually a very powerful and boring and subtle and quiet process. There's no magic, there's no trophies, as Drake says. No trophies. Nobody's gonna come and give us the you know, the golden sticker. You can go ahead and buy yourself some golden stickers, play some games with yourself. I love doing that kind of stuff. But in this moment now, are you willing and ready to make that choice a fixture in your life that you will never give up on? This is a deep promise. I hope you can understand the difference here. This deep, this deep commitment, this deep promise, this deep marriage to this choice, if you will. It cannot be taken lightly. So in this moment now, you've already committed. If you just said yes to what I just asked you, you've already committed. You've decided. There's no turning back, there's no out, there's no other option. This is a definite choice. This is just like a marriage. It's too bad that we can't go to a courthouse and get a bunch of paperwork and all that stuff, but you know, whatever. It's even more important. This is a soul agreement you're making with yourself and the divine beloved to take care of this want that is wanting to happen so bad. It's on purpose that it's wanting to happen through you. So you have to make a choice in this moment now. And that's how we make choices. We don't make these little, you know, wishy-washy, vague goal setting situation. We actually make some definite choices. I'm gonna rapid fire through some choices that I made and that I continue to make in my life, in my online business. I made a choice to not have a television in my home. I don't subscribe to Hulu or HBO or Netflix or whatever. I don't, I don't partake. I'm not saying those are wrong or bad. I just don't partake. I do watch some YouTube. I love YouTube. That's my one and only media subscription, aside from Spotify. That really does help me to um drive profits. Another choice that I've made is my online business is a profitable online business that I enjoy. This is a choice that I've made consciously. This is a choice that has been part of my life for the past 16 years. And once again, this goes to the inner shift. When I made this choice, there was a definite inner shift. When I made the choice to get rid of my TV, and I said, I'm not gonna be a person who sits in front of TV and watches TV anymore. I'm gonna live my life to the absolute fullest. And I'm not saying you're not doing that if you're watching some TV, but I'm saying because I was clinically depressed and sitting in front of my TV, I've already told the story a million times, but because I was clinically depressed sitting in front of my TV and I didn't want that to be part of my life anymore. And I just knew deep down on a soul level I needed to get rid of television for the rest of my life. It was a cut and dry choice. The minute that I made that choice and I put the post on Craigslist, free TV, come and get it, must be picked up today. I felt a huge surge of Shakti, is the best way I could put it, energy. I felt a shift within myself. I changed in that moment. Same thing when I decided to do an online business and I said, okay, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do the whole thing. I'm gonna write my ebook, I'm gonna sell it, I'm gonna sell my sell my ass off. You know, I'm gonna make great money. I didn't know how exactly I was gonna do it, but I made the choice and I could feel the shift happen in me. Another choice that I make is I set profit targets. And so this choice is actually something that, you know, it evolves and it adapts as my business grows. But I'm setting profit targets. And my profit targets aren't these laissez faire like hopes and dreams. They're actually choices I'm making. So I make definite choices about my profit targets. Do I always hit them? Not always, but I'm pretty close many times. And those times when I'm not exactly close, like for instance, the very first year of my business, I hit a mass, I set a massive profit target for the first year of my business. I didn't really come close to hitting it, but that's fine. That's not what this is about. By the second year, I did. But the first year, I had already become that person. And so the first year, I could have probably enjoyed it a little bit more and had more fun with it, but I was moving like a person who was making six figures. I was moving like that kind of person. I was posting those videos, I was talking about my offerings. You know, I was doing all the right things. And that eventually got me to that place that I wanted to get to, but I couldn't have gotten there if I didn't first make the choice. That choice transforms your identity. That choice transforms who you are now. So you start acting differently now. When you make real choices like the one that we just made together, hopefully you made a choice earlier, or the ones that I'm talking about in this episode, it changes who you are now. So if you make a choice and you don't feel fundamentally different inside, that's a pointer that you haven't really wielded the power of choice the way that I'm talking about. Okay. Make a definite choice. When you make a solid choice, you will always feel an inner click or a shift. The next mega choice I made in my life was to put peace first. Peace is the number one priority. I had to learn this the hard way. So in my life, I was experiencing lots of clinical depression and anxiety, like I already talked about in many, many episodes. And eventually I had my spiritual awakening. And the spiritual awakening was a simple realization that I had to make the choice to choose peace instead of waiting for the outside world to eventually give me something that would make me feel peaceful, a single moment, a certain amount of money, a certain kind of home. I came to a realization after I got all of these things at a relatively young age that if I didn't choose peace, it was never going to arrive. And so that was more or less my awakening. I'll talk about my whole awakening if you'd like in a different podcast episode, but I realized I had to choose peace. I know it seems like a simple, obvious choice, but it actually wasn't for me until I realized, wow, it's possible for me to be peaceful. And the only way for that to happen is for me to choose it. And then that subsequent choosing led to all the other positive choices that I make for my mental health. That ever since that choice, I haven't experienced clinical depression or anxiety ever again. So that choice manifests in my life in the form of I don't allow anything besides what will what will ultimately lead to peace. So I don't allow drama. That was one of the reasons my 17-year relationship ended, was because it wasn't conducive to that peace. And that was a really hard choice. 17 years. But when you make definite choices, you start to see things very clearly. And that 17-year relationship, just very quickly, just to give a brief overview, that 17-year relationship, part of the reason it lasted 17 years is because we were both addicted to drama. Part of the glue that held our relationship together was the constant, just roller coaster ride of that relationship, the push and the pull and the push and the pull and the push and the pull. 17 years of push and pull. 17 years of more or less, it was very drama-filled. We loved each other so much. And I've already said he was a magnificent person, one of the best friends I've ever had and ever will have, but it was built on drama. And I know a lot of you understand what I mean. It was just a never-ending saga, like a never ending soap opera. It became really clear to me that it wasn't healthy for me to be doing this. It wasn't a peaceful life. Up to that point, I hadn't ever considered I could actually have a peaceful life. I could actually have a life that is calm and not chaotic. And when I actually made that choice and brought That into the relationship, it became very clear that relationship would never survive, which was really heartbreaking. It was unfortunate, you know. I was here ready to be peaceful and choose peace. And I and I can't blame him. You know, it's this isn't me airing my dirty laundry either, because like I've already said, we're we're still great friends, and he's somebody I'll love forever. But um just our constitutions were top, we were now meeting each other at two totally separate places where I was sitting here, like, you know, needing peace. And he was over there in the same pattern, more or less, you know, and it's like it is exciting, it is thrilling that whole um the energetic, you know, push and pull and push and pull, and you know, the drama and the soap opera of it all in it. And then when you take away all of that, then it's like, well, wait a minute, the energy is totally different, and it just didn't work out. And that's that was one of the pillars of my life that fell away when I chose peace. So another aspect of this whole choice thing is one of the reasons people don't choose things, one of the pe one of the reasons that people don't make definite choices because when you make a definite choice, something will fall away. There's a death that has to happen as something is being born. Something new is being born, something old is gonna die away. And that's very scary. And that was one of the scariest things I've ever experienced is the ending of that 17-year relationship with one of the people who I loved the most in this whole universe. Somebody that was my best friend, somebody that my, you know, my shadow. We were each other's shadow. He was the sun to my moon, you know? And then that had to come to an end because it just was not peaceful. And that was truly for the best. And when that relationship ended, I've I felt a great deal of heartache, but I also felt such a sense of relief because it was so the right thing, based off of that deep, deep knowing that that was a choice I had to make. It was really sad for both of us, but both of us knew it was the right thing. Because he loved me so much, he was like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. You're right. It he was like, because he was a friend of mine as well, this is turning into like a breakup saga, but because he was my dearest friend as well, and because he loved me so much, because we always loved each other, that love didn't die. Um, because he loved me so much, he really did care about my well-being, and he knew that um the only way for me to go forward was to just go forward with this um with this path, with the path of peace. And he could see that I was different, you know. He knew that I needed to be peaceful and um and he honored that. And so when I made that definite choice, all the things around me, all the choices around me started to look very differently and things started to fall away and things started to blossom, new things start coming into my life, old things start falling away from my life, and that's how it is with choices. And the final choice that I wanted to share with you is that I put the divine beloved in the center of my life. I make the I make God the creator the center of my life. Whatever God you'd like to, the language doesn't matter. We're pointing to the moon and it's not the moon, as they say. And so I put the divine beloved at the center of my life. I'm sharing this with you, not to posture about spirituality, but I'm sharing it with you because for a long time there, I put that on the back burner. And I put it on the back burner not because I didn't know it to be important. I had a feeling deep down that it was important for me to do that. I think most people do. But I didn't really understand that it's not something to like for me, I'm just saying for me, it's for me, it's not something to save as an afterthought. And I didn't actually come to that realization until I needed to make that choice. So that was another choice I made during my awakening. That um it's not even so much of a choice, it's more just I there was no looking back. I knew that this had to be the center of my life. I knew that if I didn't make it the center of my life, I always suffered. I knew that when I did make it the center of my life, everything ran smoothly. And so I just made the definite choice to make that the center of my life. And how that manifests for me is not so much about thinking or rituals or prayer or all of those things that can be very useful and that I also love, you know, I love all of that stuff, yoga practice. What putting the divine beloved at the center of my life really means for me is that direct experiential knowing. It's the direct experiential knowing that I'm interested in. As the Buddhists say, it's biting the orange. We can talk about the orange all day. And I found that to be true. I studied spirituality for like most of my adult life from 18 all the way up until my awakening. And then when I had my awakening, I realized oh, this isn't a mental process, this isn't about beliefs. Beliefs can only take me so far. I have to actually make the conscious choice to go into direct experiential knowing. Direct experiential knowing that's being here now. Being here now, also embodying love, giving love, giving and receiving love, and being in the peace, really. It's different. Everybody's going to have a different answer for this. And there ultimately is no answer. But when I put Divine Beloved at the center of my life, that choice, the fruits of it, what comes from that choice of actually experiencing divine beloved every day on a direct experiential level, beyond all belief structures, beyond all theology, beyond all religious beliefs, beyond, beyond, beyond anything the mind can put to it. It doesn't really matter. It doesn't do it justice. We all know that. Hopefully, beliefs can only take us so far, going beyond beliefs, beyond, beyond, beyond. Beyond that, beyond that, beyond that, out, out, out, out, out into the most eternal aspects of who and what I am, beyond all the things that my mind could possibly conceive. What's left over? Direct experiential knowing. What's left over when I let go of my mind and my thoughts and the busyness and the beliefs and all this stuff, direct experiential knowing. It's just an open state of saying, Divine Beloved, be here with me now and let me bring myself to this present moment so I can experience that in this moment now. And that's not something that we only do in meditation, that we only do in prayer, that we only do in those special sacred times, which are great as well. It's something that I kind of carry with me all day long. It's like my life is more or less my one giant long meditation. I do love meditation, but life is a meditation as well. So that's kind of what that choice looks like for me. So those are the choices I've made. And that's choices in general and my approach on choices. I hope you found today's episode very helpful. And if you have found it a little bit helpful, or maybe a lot helpful, if you could leave me a review on one of the podcast platforms, that really helps me to know you're enjoying the episodes. And that's always nice because that's kind of why I'm doing it. I hope you have a beautiful day today, and I'll see you in the next episode.