Staying Grounded as a Parent in the Busy Holiday Season

The holiday season can be full of magic—but it can also feel loud, rushed, and overwhelming. Between end-of-year commitments, family expectations, and children riding the emotional highs (and lows) of the season, it’s easy for parents to feel stretched thin.

In this episode, Staying Grounded as a Parent in the Busy Holiday Season, we explore practical, compassionate ways to stay calm, connected, and centred—even when everything around you feels “extra.” We talk about managing expectations, supporting big feelings, protecting your energy, and finding small moments of presence amid the chaos.

Whether you’re navigating tired children, disrupted routines, or your own holiday stress, this conversation offers gentle strategies to help you respond rather than react—so you can move through the season with more ease, clarity, and connection.

Because staying grounded isn’t about doing more—it’s about coming back to what matters most.

Welcome to the Kebudel Parent Podcast—your no-nonsense, fun-filled guide to parenting, straight from the experts who really get kids (and parents too!). 

Brought to you by experienced early childhood educators, we’re here to dish out practical advice, laugh at the messiness of parenting, and share our insider knowledge to help you thrive. From decoding tantrums to sparking your child’s love of learning, we cover it all with a healthy dose of humor and zero judgment.

Why listen? Because parenting doesn’t come with a manual, but it can come with expert-backed insights, a little sass, and a whole lot of support. Let’s navigate this wild ride together—one episode at a time. 

Transcript

December Sneaks Up

SPEAKER_00 1:06

Kiori everyone and welcome back to the Kabirdle Podcast. I'm Alex from the first five years and can you believe it? We are in the festive season. It is officially December. So today we're talking about something that sneaks up on me every year and possibly it sneaks up on you. Because it feels like the warm weather hits. We get the invitations to end of year parties, Christmas parties, Christmas music starts playing in the supermarket, and somehow it feels like we're supposed to just glide gracefully into the holiday season. Well, maybe you do, but I definitely do not. I kind of stumble into December thinking, what? How are we here already? How is this year almost finished? And if you have little people under five, that feeling is probably even more intense for you. Because there is a quiet pressure to make everything at this time of year feel kind of magical. But there is also this reality that by the end of the year most of us are tired to our bones. It is a lot. I don't know about you, but this year has been a lot for me. And so coming into the festive season, it can feel like another mammoth task that we need to complete. But there's this drive in us to want to make memories for our children. And also wanting everything to calm down to five minutes. I feel like the Christmas and festive season is a bit of a tug of

Childhood Memories And Pressure

SPEAKER_00 2:35

war in that regard. So I grew up in a family with many kids, Ace in fact, I'm the youngest. And so Christmas felt really big. There was big energy, big expectations, big preparations. And I'd watch my parents, mostly my mum, let's be honest, trying to make everything tick the boxes they believed Christmas needed to tick. And honestly, as a kid, I didn't really appreciate any of that behind the scenes work. I mostly remember the food and the waiting and the excitement. And if I'm honest, I remember the tension. My parents were trying so hard that they were so tired by the time the day actually arrived. It wasn't until I became a parent that I really understood the emotional cost of trying to make everything feel right. Especially when small children are involved. And I think that is such a common experience. We grow up with this version of Christmas or whatever holiday you celebrate. And as we get older, we realise, wow, that was a lot of pressure for our parents. And now we feel that same sort of pressure, but we're on the other side of it. Long before I had my twins, I kind of knew I wanted things to be different in my own family. I remember the rush of Christmas mornings, everyone getting dressed up and everything being formal and presents weren't allowed to be opened until the end of the day. And by then I was stressed out, overstimulated. And honestly, I don't think I was a very pleasant kid to be around. So early in our parenting life with my husband, we made a quiet decision, and and that was that we wanted a slow, calm Christmas. I wanted a holiday season where we could actually enjoy our kids instead of sprinting from one traditional one event to the next or having really high expectations of what Christmas or New Year's Eve or just that that break would look like. I wanted it to feel like a season to refuel and refresh, not a season of obligation. And to be fair, when my twins were babies, they honestly didn't notice Christmas at all. Well, it didn't really seem like they did. If anything, it was the wrapping paper that was the highlight. And that was really lovely because it really did strip everything back and made me appreciate the simple things. It wasn't until they were maybe, maybe three, and then they really began to notice and they seemed to be really intrigued by the festivities around them. And that was really fun to watch. And I guess for me as a parent, that added to the Christmas magic. It seemed like my twinnies, they liked the lights

Choosing A Slow, Calm Christmas

SPEAKER_00 5:06

and the treats and you know, on occasion later bedtimes. And I think they felt that difference in the air, and it was cool to watch that. It was around this stage that I had conversations with my husband about being really intentional in this season, about what we chose to hold on to and what traditions, obligations or pressure we really had to let go. Because there is a pressure to make the season magic for our families. The pressure comes in from everywhere, social media, family members who say, Oh, you're not doing a Christmas Eve box, really? Our own childhood nostalgia, the pressure to make everything perfect for our kids, and even though we know perfection is not the point, we are still navigating all these pressures. But when we strip it all back, it can be helpful to remember that children don't need like lots of magic constructed around them. They already see the world through a magic lens. They don't actually need curated experiences. They actually need connection that they can rely on. They need enough sleep so their nervous system can cope. They need familiar rhythms that make them feel safe when everything might feel different, and they need you to have your emotional cup filled up. And so sometimes we have to let go of the pressure that doesn't serve us. Some of that pressure might be spending too much money on Christmas gifts. I mean, I don't know about you, but I can't remember many presents from my childhood. I remember a mixed tape that my brother gave me and it was just full of Beatles music. And I remember when I was eleven that I got a new bike and a few days later fell off that bike and broke my jaw. But what I remember more is the feeling of being with certain people at certain times. I remember certain activities with these people. I remember the smells, the sounds, and the sense of belonging. And that is the stuff that really sticks, especially for our under fives who live so deeply in their senses and in their emotions, and they live in the moment. So that's something to remember as you're navigating this season. Your child doesn't need copious amounts of gifts. They really just need time with these special people. Now, for many families, the holiday season is a mix of traditions. For example, in our home, we had to blend two really different histories. I grew up in New Zealand and my husband is South African. I grew up in a house where Santa did not exist. And my husband, he had very nostalgic Santa memories, especially in regards to Santa stockings. So we had to navigate discussions around that. Because I did not want Santa to be used as a behaviour monitoring tool. I am not into the naughty or nice narrative. Children

Kids Need Connection, Not Perfection

SPEAKER_00 8:00

are not good or bad in my books, they're just developing. So we found a version of Santa that felt playful rather than conditional. But honestly, that whole topic around Santa is a entire podcast on itself. Maybe I'll do that next year. When we're talking about traditions, in exchange, my husband had to embrace trifle. Trifle is a non-negotiable in my family. So now we have stockings and we have trifle. And I love it. And over time, you know, Santa now is a tradition that I love with my kids. And 15 years on, my husband has developed a taste for trifle. And a lot of parents I work with, they tell me that they're doing the same kind of uh traditional weaving, I guess you could say. Perhaps two cultures, two belief systems, two houses, maybe two sets of expectations, and it can feel tricky. And if you're navigating that, truly you're not alone. So many of us are. Because there's no correct way of how to celebrate at this time of year. There is only the version that feels sustainable and respectful and meaningful to your family. We need to talk about the emotional load that December brings because it's real and it's heavy. And this time of year it there's a lot going on. Financial pressure, social pressure, nostalgia, grief, family dynamics. For some of us it's Christmas without somebody special. For others, it's about navigating old conflicts with family that get stirred up every December without fail. And then on top of that, our children are out of routine, overstimulated, and holding big feelings. So if you're feeling stretched thin, if you're feeling like every everyone needs something from you, that is not a sign that you are failing. It's a sign that you are human. December is a big month for adult nervous systems too. And here's the thing, most of us go into the holidays with these quiet expectations. Sometimes they're ours, sometimes they come from other parents, or maybe you're feeling a sense of comparison or from an internal script that you'd create you've carried for years. I just think it's so worth pausing and asking, are these expectations mine? Are they kind to me? Are they realistic? Do they support my family or do they just add pressure? It's just so important that we prioritize our own nervous systems in this season. So I want to shift into some gentle supports that can help you kind of navigate the season and feel a little bit more anchored throughout. So one thing to consider is to keep routines recognizable. Not perfect, just familiar enough that your child has

Blending Traditions And Values

SPEAKER_00 10:40

something to anchor to. Maybe it's your morning rhythm, maybe it's the time you get up in the morning, it's the time they go to sleep. It's the same window at night. These touch points help our little people's nervous system to feel safe and regulated. Another idea I think it's worth considering is trying to protect sleep whenever possible. Your sleep and your child's sleep. And look, I know it doesn't always work out because sometimes naps are missed or bedtimes are a little bit later. But even a couple of early nights throughout the week or a midday rest can just really support everybody's emotional tolerance when the season gets busy. And then I think it's worth considering how we can simplify traditions. You don't need a full calendar of activities or certain things that you need to do every single year. One or two repeated traditions create really strong memories for little people. Children love a bit of ritual, but we don't need a checklist with copious things on the list. Overstimulation is big in this time of year, that is for sure. It will happen, so plan for it. Is it possible to have a quiet space at gatherings? Where you can step out and get some fresh air perhaps? Is there a time where you can start to notice when your child's getting overstimulated or you're getting overstimulated? And you press pause. Thinking about how you can regulate your nervous system, deep breathing, drinking through a straw, having a dance off. There's so many things that we can do to mitigate overstimulation. And it's a great idea to have moments during the day that aren't busy, but they're calm and they're quiet. Another thing that I think is worth considering is how you can lower the bar, how you can say no. No to things that don't serve you, things that you actually don't want to do. You're allowed to say no, you're allowed to set boundaries. You don't have to go to every end of year barbecue. And you're allowed to change your mind as well. You can cancel plans. You are allowed to protect your energy. You are raising young children in a fast-paced world and simplifying your life is not failure. It's actually very wise parenting. And finally, check in with yourself. What do you need to feel grounded? What helps you slow down? What stories of the holidays are you carrying from your own childhood? And do they still serve you? The holiday season with underfives is messy, it's unpredictable, and it's fun.

The Emotional Load Of December

SPEAKER_00 13:20

Well it can be fun if we slow down, we pause, we get curious and we reflect on the kind of end of year season that we want for our family. Children live in the magic of the small things. They slow us down whether we want to or not. And maybe that's the real gift of this season. It's the invitation to see the season from the ground up again, to simplify things, to focus on what really matters, which is your love, your connection, and your time. My hope for you this season is simple, that you have moments of genuine connection, rest when you can find it, and permission to let go of anything that is weighing you down. You are enough and you are more than enough for your children. Thank you so much for listening today. It's been a pleasure to be in your ears in 2025, and you'll see me, well, you'll hear from me in 2026. Have a wonderfully restful and blessed holiday season. Take care.