Here Comes the Drama with Christa Innis

Uninvited Guests, Screaming Cousins & a Boozy Wedding Party with Janelle Riddell

• Christa Innis • Season 1 • Episode 19

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What happens when a cousin wears white, ignores boundaries, and starts throwing punches? This episode dives into the chaos of a vineyard wedding gone completely off the rails.

Christa Innis sits down with guest Janelle Riddell—creator of relatable in-law content and skits—to unpack a jaw-dropping real wedding story involving fistfights, a crying bride, and a cousin who just wouldn’t quit.

Together, they reflect on boundary-setting, judgment from the internet, and how to survive family drama on the most important day of your life. This one’s part comedy, part cautionary tale—and totally unmissable.

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Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • The Viral Cousin Named Chloe – A guest shows up wearing white and impersonates the bridal party, leading to chaos no one could’ve predicted.
  • The Drama of Setting Boundaries – Christa and Janelle discuss how brides get labeled as bridezillas for simply having standards.
  • Skits That Start Conversations – Janelle shares why she uses storytelling and skits to reflect the complex dynamics of family relationships.
  • Fact-Checking Wedding Stories? – A hilarious discussion on social media critics and why no one’s got time to play journalist on DMs.
  • Fistfight at the Reception – A real wedding brawl breaks out, complete with alcohol, family yelling, and a screaming bride.
  • Intention vs. Impact in Wedding Etiquette – When wearing white or skipping a gift becomes a symptom of something deeper.
  • Grace vs. Guilt in Family Expectations – Why navigating in-laws and milestone events requires more than just saying “no.”

About Janelle

Janelle Riddell is a writer and storyteller who shares real-life wedding chaos and family drama. She spends time collecting stories about in-law tension, etiquette fails, and tough relationship moments. In this episode, she talks about her own experiences and why setting boundaries matters—even when it’s hard. Janelle brings honesty, humor, and insight that every bride (and anyone close to one) will relate to.

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Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

A Team Dklutr Production

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi guys. Welcome back to another episode of Here Comes The Drama. We have another great episode for you today. I never really know how to start these anymore because an intro just feels so formal and I feel like we're just friends hanging out. So sorry if I'm kind of stuttering over my words. I'm not really sure how to start these.

So welcome, thanks for hanging out with me. I'm excited to announce that here comes a drama, a Ferris and Sloan story. My new book comes out in exactly two weeks from today. If you are not on my email list yet, please join it because you get part one free. Also, pre-orders are available now. I cannot wait for you guys to read it.

Onto today's episode. I have Janelle here, man, we read one of the craziest stories. I know I always say that, but it really is one of the craziest stories I've ever read. Very shocking. she makes amazing content online. I always see her. Gets, she really is passionate about breaking the cycle of strain.

 mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships, which I really feel like ties well into the content here since a lot of them involve brides mother-in-laws, new relationships, and forming healthy relationships and boundaries. so we read some crazy stories, share some confessions and hot takes, and I just can't wait for you guys to listen.

All right, guys. Without further ado, here's my episode with Janelle. Enjoy.

Hi, Janelle. Thank you so much for coming on. Hi. Thank you for having me. I'm so glad we got to do this. Yes. for anyone that doesn't know you or doesn't see your content, can you just tell 'em a little bit about yourself and what you do on social media, and then we'll kind of get into it? 

Janelle Riddell: Sure. so my name's Janelle.

My account is. At H and El Marie, I'm sure you'll tag it in the show notes or wherever you do that, but, yeah, so I'm a mom of two, a wife, a full-time working mom, and I also make content primarily for people who have a challenging relationship with their mother-in-law, with their in-laws in general. I've been doing it for about two years now.

It's evolved over time. It started as just like primarily just. Like a lot of like relatable mother-in-law type content. whereas now I have a lot of mothers in-law who follow me, who are like learning to see if or future mother-in-law that are following me. And I, so anyway, I have a lot of fun with it.

I do skits, I do vlog style content, and I've just built a really great community of. Women who are kind of going through the same thing. And the key is though, that we're hoping not to repeat that cycle. We're hoping to break the monster in-law, stereotype, for our kids. 

Christa Innis: Yeah, I love that. I feel like that ties in a lot to some of the content I put out because while I do have mother-in-law.

Stories I share. it's all over the place. Sister-in-laws, brother-in-law, whatever, what have you. All around weddings. Right? But I think it's really important what you say about learning from it and these kind of skits and content is to like. Not always pointing the finger.

Sometimes it's like a reflection too, because I have moms too that comment and say, thank you so much for sharing this, because now I see that I'm like overstepping my son's boundaries or my child's boundaries. And so I think important to be like, not just be the victim in some of these, 

Because I also have other people that are like, you're only targeting mother-in-laws. Yeah. What do you have against 'em? Yeah. And I'm like, I love my mother-in-law. I actually get along with her really well. I just get some crazy stories sent to me that I'm like, this is insane. Let's talk about it. do you get that same kind of thing where people kind of come for you from different angles 

Janelle Riddell: like.

Surprisingly, not very often. from different angles. Yes. I get surprisingly few, hate messages in my dms. I get a ton of crazy comments to the point where like, Facebook, I don't even read my Facebook comments as a dumpster fire over there. But, I get a ton of, I mean, we're social media creators, right?

So a lot of my stories. my skits, I was finding the skits. It's the crazy stories that perform. but it also sometimes isn't. Sometimes it is the more nuanced examples and when you're able to portray something that I. Like if you were to tell the story of, oh, I don't get along with my mother-in-law for whatever reason, it's like, seems kind of minor.

But when you see how those interactions play out in a skit, that's where I feel like has really helped build my community in the true sense of the word is because those are the stories that people see that they're like, yes, this, this but it's still, it's a balance as a social media creator.

So people, sometimes people accuse me of. Oh, you built a whole page to complain about your mother-in-law and like truthfully, I don't even talk about my own mother-in-law and my own stories. It's mostly follower submissions, but it's also more so like themes. That's why I've started integrating more lifestyle and vlog style content, almost just like a metaphor to show like.

Daughters-in-law that don't get along with their mother-in-law, like they're literally just moms and women living their life. they're not sitting at home scheming and plotting to they didn't intend on ruining their mother-in-law's life despite what she's told you at the store, at the church group.

Like they're literally just existing and the reasons why the relationship has fallen apart. is often a function of both parties, but not in the way that you would expect. that's a key note that people love. I don't know if they've like, commented that on your videos too necessarily, but always, if it's ever relationship focused and the story or the skit or whatever really portrays one person as the protagonist and one person is the antagonist you always get.

Relationships are a two-way street And my catchphrase response to that is, yes, but who broke the road? two people can't travel down a two-way street if it's broken. And that's where I am trying to bring  awareness and visibility.

But also, yeah, it's cathartic for people who have gone through it to watch my content and be like, yes. That's exactly how I feel. But yeah, the road doesn't always come from stories that are portrayed in, say, your skits or of my skits. The broken road also comes from. More minor things that just build up over time too, so.

Christa Innis: Oh, absolutely. Yeah. And I think that feeling of like wanting to be seen that you're like not crazy. someone can like, relate to you. and that's the thing too, is when I get those, I shouldn't even say like hate comments. They're not really hate comments, but like there's some people that will comment and be like, this is just terrible that you would portray a person this way when you don't understand the full story.

And I'm like. someone sent me this story, so I'm only able to portray what this person sent me in their own words, and I'm gonna do my best to like get it out there if I can. So yes, if a bride sent me a story, then I'm gonna do it from the bride's perspective. Sometimes, sometimes I'll do it from another perspective, but if a mother-in-law wants to send me her story, I'll absolutely share it, you because most of the stories that are sent to me are from brides.

I'm gonna, you have their version and. Someone was like, do you ever fact check these? I'm like, what am I supposed to do? Call each person up and like interview them. I'm like, no, I don't fact check. 

Janelle Riddell: No, I'm not CNN. what was the comment Once someone gave me and I replied with like, I'm not a journalist.

I don't have any sort of like legal obligation 

Christa Innis: Yeah. To 

Janelle Riddell: No, and that doesn't mean that I wanna like,catastrophize or like perpetuate negative stereotypes that aren't true. Like I don't wanna be part of the problem. Right. But also like, sorry, people aren't in my dms.

the stories that I'm portraying and I know it's the same for you. The stories that I'm portraying are truly the tip of the iceberg. when it comes to data, like you could plot the trends. If we were to plot the number of stories I've been sent where someone feels. Based on their details, they're justified and feeling the way that they do about their wedding or the birth of their baby is another big one.

the data, right? It's not mm-hmm. 

Christa Innis: yeah. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah, no, for sure. I think that's a really great point. And I think too, it's like people need to see these conversations and I think, like we said earlier, it helps people on both sides kind of see like, okay, here's where a boundary needs to be set, or here's where I need to like.

Limit contact or here's where, okay, there was miscommunication, let's work this out. Or whatever that looks like. I think it's good to have these examples and of course, yeah, it's part entertainment. I mean, so many people follow for entertainment. Like I know the reason I started doing like content like this is because I loved seeing content like this.

I love the conversations seeing how things play out, and I think it helps us kind of see ourselves in conversations and be like, oh, how would I react? Or, oh, that's really crazy. I've never seen something like that before. That's how we roll. 

Janelle Riddell: Totally. Like the skit I shared yesterday was a follower submission.

 for those who don't follow my content, the gist of the skit is a follower of mine sent to me. They traveled to her in-law's house for Easter recently. They brought their. newborn baby. Not fresh, fresh, but like really newborn baby and 2-year-old to their in-laws house.

They had specifically said when the baby was born, we don't want anything shared on Facebook. They get to their in-laws house and there's newspaper clippings of the in-laws had put in a birth announcement in the local paper. No. And, to make matters worse, hadn't remarked the daughter-in-law's existence.

Just proud parent and their son's name. No. Stop the story. It was literally like 10:00 PM two days ago I guess. 'cause I got it and I was like, it now. Need to it. I'm cackling in bed to my husband reading this. So bad, but the layers to it, which I led with. 'cause she's like, we've went to my in-laws for Easter because she was a whole big, that beginning piece is the part where people start to comment because I talked about and portrayed some of the details she had shared about her husband saying to his mom, like, okay, like.

When she asked how the drive was, like, I mean we traveled five hours with a four month old, whatever. The old, the baby was a newborn and a 2-year-old. it was rough. But you said We had to  come for Easter and the mother-in-law feels like, well, of course, grandparents.

if they kids should come to us.  And so already you get  on the video of, when you're talking about like the back, oh, you need to share the backstory. You need to whatever. Like, people don't understand that I think what is helpful to see played out is ideas. Like someone saying, well, no, that's their fault for going, you just should say no to going.

And it's people who aren't in these situations don't realize what. No. Looks like, and that's gonna be my follow up skit portraying What this looks like is the mother-in-law saying,  you guys should come to us for Easter and the son, in a lot of cases, it's two ways.

It's either the son's saying, we gotta go to my mom's for Easter, otherwise she's gonna be mad at me. And That's more of a marriage issue than a mother-in-law issue, quite honestly. Right. Or it's the husband saying, I don't wanna go five hours with the kids. Like that's crazy. And the daughter-in-law is saying, no, then your mom's gonna be mad.

Your mom's gonna say, it's my fault. We have to go. Whatever. And then maybe the mother-in-law throws in some comments like, well, you guys moved away because of her job, or You guys moved away. It's not my fault that you moved away, so you should come to me. And there's other so many guilt and layers and all these things.

 it's not as simple as like say no, it should be for sure. Right? It should be. But then when it is as simple as say no. then there's an impasse. That's that two-way street I referenced. Mm-hmm. Right? Like quite literally in this case, who's, it's gotta be a two-way street.

 or maybe it isn't depending on the phase of life that people are in, and maybe that's okay. but anyway, that beginning of that story is the more like. What actually goes into setting a boundary saying, no, we're not gonna travel five hours with the baby. 

Christa Innis: yeah. I find it interesting.

So many times when I share skits, people comment like, oh, I would've said no right away. it's like, it's so much easier. And I even, you know, myself, like, you can look from the outside and I'm so great at telling other people how to set boundaries and say no and like. But in your own life, it's so much more difficult, so much more nuanced because it's you have a different relationship with each person and you have other people involved and know, a history, and you're always like, am I gonna be the bad person?

You know, and there's all these different things as opposed to just like saying no. And I think we should ideally all get there. Like if someone's treating us poorly, but we can't always see it. Sometimes it's a disguise, sometimes it's like talked to nicely first and Totally. 

Janelle Riddell: I actually feel like it's the people who are saying, oh, just say no. I often think that maybe they're coming from a place. Of like, they've had really fortunate relationships with family in their life because I could see, had I not lived what I've lived now with my in-laws, I would feel that way because if there's something I don't wanna do that my mom asked me, I just say, no, mom, I don't wanna do that.

And she doesn't think that my husband forced me to say no. She doesn't think that it's unfair that, oh well you said yes to so and so the other day, so why are you saying no to me today? No. I literally say, no, I don't wanna do that.  And then if. whatever the situation is, it doesn't happen very often.

Again, this is like what I try to dive into with my content, which is just the, like what goes into relationships, which is my mom knows me, we've built a relationship, so she generally doesn't ask me things. That she knows I'm gonna say no to. Like she knows me and my husband is people, so it doesn't get to a point where we really need to say no.

She reads the room or it's not even, she reads the room. She's built relationships with us. And that is fundamentally, I think often the root cause in a lot of these situations is they haven't taken the time, energy, effort again, two-way street. I don't know who's gotta build the road.

We can split hairs on that, but, to cultivate and build a relationship with their daughter-in-law or their adult child. Quite honestly, sometimes comparatively to how the daughter-in-law's, parents have built a relationship with her, so they're asking for things that like. Why are you asking for something that you know is gonna put them in a position that they're not comfortable with and different people are comfortable with different things.

That's another huge source of comments. Like, good for you, that's what you're comfortable with. Not everyone's comfortable with that. And that doesn't mean they're entitled or wrong, or. Yeah, sometimes it does, but not always, you know? Yes. people are people. We gotta meet people where they're at, but people don't wanna meet you where you're at if you've been habitually a jerk to them.

Exactly. 

Christa Innis: No, that's such a good point about like, if you haven't had to really deal with those difficult things harder saying no just comes off as easy. Yeah, because like I've never had, like, they're not thinking that way. But yeah. If they haven't had a deal with that, it's like, well, it's black and white.

They do that then totally. No. But yeah, if you tend with the teeter-totter of relationships and you're like, uh, I don't know. Is this one of those where I say no, or how do I back down from this? Yeah, totally. 

Janelle Riddell: Yeah. Completely. Yeah. 

Christa Innis: Okay. Let's get into, 'cause I feel like we could talk about this stuff forever and we could, we could, we could.

I love it. I feel like, 'cause we have probably have like an overlap of followers of like how people like the content and stuff. But let's get into, 'cause some crazy stories and wedding hot takes. When we talk about weddings, does anything come to mind for like a kind of crazy story or something that you either seen at weddings or had at your own wedding?

when it comes to interesting. Opinions, I guess. 

Janelle Riddell: Yeah, I mean, reflecting on it, relative to some of the stuff that you've shared? No, like relative to the story of yours that sticks out for me. Is that girlfriend of the groomsman who like brought her kid and like, no, I don't.

That one always. I'm like, that is insane. anyway, yeah, no, I don't have anything that crazy what did happen at my wedding. And although it does involve my mother-in-law, I'm not, to this day, I'm not necessarily blaming her. And I only found out about it after fact because my sister-in-law told me what happened after the fact.

 we had, okay, so some of it I guess I am blaming, but, We invited my husband's cousin per the request of certain people who generally doesn't come to stuff. He doesn't come to family gatherings very often. I think I've seen him like in the 10 years my husband and I have been together maybe two times.

We invited him. He, RSVPs Yes. Doesn't show up to the wedding. again, it's my wedding day. I had no idea that he didn't show up, but in the meantime, my mother-in-law had invited her best friend from childhood or something, which again, like. my parents invited friends too, 

Christa Innis: like, okay.  

Janelle Riddell: and didn't RSVP with a guest, RSVPed for herself.

Brought a guest, brought her sister, I think it was, So the guest brought a sister. The guest brought an UNRSVPed Guest. and the cousin, RSVPed yes No. show So you do the math, there are seats for everybody. But they weren't planned seats. So I guess 

Christa Innis: what happened is 

my mother-in-law's friend's, sister didn't have a seat at the friend's table or whatever, but there was an extra seat, like I guess some adults put their heads together and found a chair 

Janelle Riddell: for the friend's sister. So that's great and that's good. But apparently my mother-in-law was deeply offended and obviously it was a, personal, I had done that intentionally, was personal, and then spent my entire wedding reception.

Complaining about me, complaining about where their seat was in their wedding and how she didn't have a seat, and how rude that was, and how none of my parents' friends didn't have seats. 

And um, because they probably all are CPD the right way I guess. I don't know. so you could say, oh, maybe you missed it, maybe whatever.

Like understand, I've a project manager, been a project manager for 10 years at this point, like a spreadsheet. And me, we are friends. So maybe I missed it, but. I'm saying it would be unlikely to me way. it didn't ruin my day. I had no idea. But after the fact, it still sucks to hear that was like 

Christa Innis: the thing that, the 

Janelle Riddell: conversation that was going on.

Yeah. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. Because I feel like something like that, you can't win. They're gonna look for one thing to hold onto and be like, oh, she did this on purpose. But it's like, how are you supposed to know that? Someone's friend is gonna bring a friend. Which one? You shouldn't be doing that at a wedding anyways.

Like, don't just bring random people. 

Janelle Riddell: I just assume maybe she RSVP'd. Incorrectly or something. And so then I, maybe people would say, oh, why didn't you follow up? And it's like, sorry, I'm planning at that specific point. Like I didn't follow up with anyone else about their rsvp, someone RSVP'd.

I had lots of people who I gave a plus one to and cable alone. I didn't confirm with them, Hey, you RSVP just for one. Are you sure? It's, it's just you. Like, no. And so we would've given her a guest like she's, Was coming by her herself. Like I think there was a few friends of ours that were single at the time and were coming with lots of other friends that we knew.

Mm-hmm. we didn't give maybe everyone in our friend group in RSVP if it was very clearly. but I don't even think there was that many people we had to do, which I know is a controversial, to do that at all. But her, like my mother-in-law's friend, we would've absolutely given her an RSVP. so maybe she just filled out the RSVP card incorrectly.

I don't know. It was a website. We had a wedding website, so maybe she just filled out the website wrong. But anyway, yeah. 

Christa Innis: thing is too, like if for some reason, if I went to a wedding and there wasn't a spot for my husband, so someone that clearly would've been invited or something, right?

I didn't bring this one extra and there wasn't a seat for him, I wouldn't automatically be like the bride did this on purpose. You know? Like, that would never be my first, I'd be like, especially as a planner myself, like I'm a type A kind of person, I'd be like, oh, there was a misstep mistake or maybe mis.

Yeah, there's so many people involved. There's so many moving parts. maybe we're at the wrong table, so there's just that different mindset of blaming people and I'm like, things happen. It's fine. Like. Whatever. 

Janelle Riddell: Totally. I do think, though, I do think this story is a perfect example of that kind of deeper level relationship building that I talk about because yes, my mom, mom and daughter, people are gonna have a hard time equating mother-in-law and future daughter-in-law with mom and daughter.

But trust me, for my followers, there's tons of people who are very close with their mother-in-law and were close with their mother-in-law throughout the planning process of their wedding. Or their husband is very close with his mom and they liaise and talk and discuss on a regular basis. Neither of those two things are true in my case.

And so where I'm going with this is if either my husband or I had a like friendly chitchatting about regular stuff on a regular basis, mutual exchange of information, not like the mom who calls her son to talk Adam for two hours every. Once a month and thinks that that, oh, I'm so close with my son.

No, like have a real relationship. It probably would've got caught. It would've because there would've been a casual conversation, oh, my friend so-and-so is bringing so and so, and I would've been like, what? She didn't RSVP with someone. Oh, let's take a look at it. Oh, let's, we would've caught it. Right.

Whereas like my mom, I knew who all of her friends were bringing or like whatever was going on there. I think one of her friends husbands couldn't come because something had come up, so then I just went in and changed whatever. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like. And those kinds of things get caught when you're having regular conversation with people.

A hundred percent. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. No, I totally agree with that. again, I think it's just people wanna find a blame if they're looking for one, there's gonna be well and 

Janelle Riddell: complain about. Totally. And I think it's personality type too. Like there's certain people that are like, their first instinct in a situation like that is to like.

be embarrassed. think that it's about them or in a way, I could see how a person could feel like that. in this setting where you feel like, okay, well this is my friend and my nephew, so I am Hosting them but you're not. But like I could see how you could feel that way.

So then you feel embarrassed 'cause the friend that you've brought, her sister doesn't have a, like, I can see how you would feel embarrassed about that. And a lot of people would be keen to just deflect that embarrassment in the form of blame. Which I think is a natural human response, but unfortunately, whether it's a natural human response or not, the impact of that natural human response is people feeling like, I don't know if that was reasonable to like completely blame the bride or, you know.

Yeah. 

Christa Innis: I think we were saying this before recording, is if the bride, because stereotypically the bride plans majority of the wedding or she's, yeah. It's her vision. Right. Even if my husband and I were pretty like. Equal with what we like planned and I mean, I'm more the planner type, a kind of person, but like he was involved in every kind of thing.

Mm-hmm. But I think in general, people are like, oh, it's the bride. And so if something goes wrong, it's the bride's fault. If something happens, it's the bride's fault. If she has a boundary, she's a bridezilla. And so I think it's just always put on the bride for things like you don't ever hear, like, I mean, maybe every once in a while you hear groomzilla, but very rarely.

it's more of like a funny thing. But, I think it's just when women have boundaries or women say, no, there tend to be the problem. yeah. Yeah. it's a common theme. I've noticed, 

Janelle Riddell: I think another thing I've observed and a trend and a theme, if I'm looking at my content and then the comments that come of it is.

Women are accused in relationship context, these ones where emotions are high, it's a round a milestone event. Women are accused of not giving enough grace but then when there's situations where someone gave grace or benefit the doubt, or maybe it's not benefited the doubt, maybe someone just assumed that another person was gonna employ common sense. 

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. And 

Janelle Riddell: they don't. And there's a reaction to it or a boundary because of it, or a negative experience because of it, that then I'm in my skit. It's like, well, why didn't you just stop that thing from happening? It's like, Sorry that I assumed you that when we say don't post on Facebook, that doesn't mean find another way to announce the birth of our baby without our permission.

 and so anyway. Mm-hmm. That's like, I find also a, I have is, yeah, women are accused they're having boundaries in their bridezilla, they didn't do enough when they. Just try to let things go as the cards fall where they may and someone doesn't have any common sense and they talk about it after the fact and it's like, well, why didn't you, put a boundary in place to prevent yourself from having, yeah.

X Why is that negative experience happened? It's like, sorry, too much or not enough. There's like, sorry, I didn't know that, you didn't realize talking negatively about the bride throughout her entire wedding was not. Inappropriate thing to do and was maybe gonna make her feel negatively when she found out about it.

Like I didn't know that. You didn't know that, right? Sorry. 

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh, yes. Okay. Let's do a couple hot takes and then we'll get into the main story that we'll react to. Okay. So I'm gonna read a hot take so people send hot takes to me and social media and then we will react to it. So they said, should guests be banned from taking photos during the ceremony?

Janelle Riddell: I mean, we had a, what did we call it? 

Christa Innis: the weird wedding phrasing more than I do. Yeah. It was, is a thing that people said, 

a, basically like, put your phones 

Janelle Riddell: Yeah. 

Christa Innis: Keep your, and like, 

Janelle Riddell: apparently the way my friend Dave, who officiated our wedding, read it, it was a little bit like.

Don do 

Christa Innis: it. 

Janelle Riddell: Yeah. And to the point where people are like, yeah, if you don't say that Common sense. This is a common thing. If you don't say it then you end up with the person in the aisle with iPad. Or 

Christa Innis: iPad. It's always the 

Janelle Riddell: iPad, right? Or in front of the photographers or blocking things.

Or you have people with phones in the background of your photos. So. I don't necessarily think you need to do no phones at a wedding ceremony. I think it's really tough to a mixed group of people with mixed ages with mixed understanding of technology etiquette. It's easier to say no  than to say, in that moment, for those 15, 20 minutes of your life, an hour, if you're really religious, whatever, I think you mitigate the risk with no phones. 

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Yeah. I think like do what you want as a couple and if you don't see a sign, then sure, take whatever, but just be aware of your surroundings. And if they have a sign and they make an announcement, you better put that phone away on airplane mode or whatever.

Because I've been to so many weddings where they announce it and there's a sign and I'm that person where I notice. And so like I've seen people hold up their iPads, their phones, and I'm like. I've been a bridesmaid and I notice people and I'm like, they made an announcement. Please put your phone away.

They're gonna have nicer photos later. 

Janelle Riddell: my, officiant didn't have to, he is like an outgoing, like, professional and like. Tactful and respectful guy, but like, he's not scared or nothing. Like he was ready to like fully embarrass people. He was gonna like stop the wedding and say, yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. You checking an important text over there. Yeah. 

Janelle Riddell: Work calling. Oh, I don't care if people pull out their phone and wanna Instagram, scroll my whole wedding don't care. It's, well, if they're in the front two rows, I would care. But the front two rows are like my immediate family. No, it's the people with their phones, like in front of the photographers.

Like Yeah. To me that's the risk you're trying to avoid is getting in the photographer shots. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. It's that person with the iPhone that thinks like their picture is gonna be better than any photographer. I've seen them like get in front of them. I'm like. It's not gonna be that good. your thumb is in front of the, the lens.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Okay, let's get into the story 'cause I know, I don't wanna take too much of your time. Okay. So this week's story, I've not read it yet, so I'm gonna read it and then feel free to stop me at any point to react and we'll react together. 

Janelle Riddell: It says. I was working as a wedding and event coordinator at a vineyard at the time. 

when we hosted weddings, the tasting room stayed open from 10:00 AM to 7:00 PM and then the wedding party had the vineyard to themselves for the rest of the night.

Rentals were 10 hours long, and this particular wedding had a 1:00 PM to 11:00 PM rental. The bridesmaids and groomsmen started showing up around 11:30 AM in the tasting room. They bought a couple of bottles of wine. Then a few more. We started to realize they were getting noticeably intoxicated. So I decided to cut them off help them make it through the entire wedding.

Christa Innis: It sounds like a little before the wedding if if she wanted to cut them off. 

Yeah. Okay. There was one girl in particular, let's call her Chloe, 

Janelle Riddell: Who showed up a bit later than everyone else. She was wearing the same color as the bridesmaid dresses 

Christa Innis: and a white shawl.

Chloe was already clearly drunk when she arrived. Stumbling as she walked in, the bridesmaid started freaking out. 

Janelle Riddell: Apparently Chloe was not a part of the bridal party and had specifically been told not to wear those colors. Oh my gosh. And a White shawl. So she's got like the bridal shawl on, what? Is she like an ex or something?

Oh my gosh. Okay. The bridesmaids start yelling at her right there in the middle of the tasting room. I quickly stepped in and told them to knock it off. They stopped and then Chloe went up to the counter and tried to buy a bottle of wine. So I'm wondering if she's like there as a guest, like what is happening?

 when my staff member told her no, she started screaming. 

Christa Innis: I told her she needed to step outside and take a breather, or she would be asked to leave and wouldn't be allowed to attend the wedding. I feel this is all happening before the wedding's even. Sorry. They're like popping bottles. Like this is insane.

the bridal party went off to its start decorating. They're gonna have all these bottles of wine now. They're gonna decorat. Right. I'm just picturing like a mess. Okay. And Chloe disappeared. I had a bad feeling, so I started walking around to try to find her. I spotted her in the garden with her boyfriend chugging a bottle of wine.

He had bought her. I made her hand it over and told her she could get it back after the wedding, but that she was not allowed to drink anything else on the property. She screamed at me. If it had been up to me, I would've kicked her out right then and there. But the vineyard owners were very particular and had already told me not to remove anyone unless absolutely necessary.

Chloe ended up sitting on the deck crying. Oh my gosh. I walked away and went to find the bridal party. I found them sitting at the picnic bench with bottles of beer and shooters, which we do not serve. They were all stumbling and obviously drunk, and it was only 3:00 PM Oh my gosh. It's insane. The ceremony was supposed to start in an hour.

I took away all their outside alcohol and warned them they were risking our liquor license. I hid the contraband behind the venues bar and tried to find someone sober. I could talk to the bride and groom had put themselves as the emergency contacts, but the venue owners told me not to reach out to them and to find someone else.

Eventually I found the maid of honors dad who was helping decorate. He apologized and he didn't know what to do and explained that he was from out of town and didn't know anyone except his daughter who was also drunk. Everyone is just hammered at this wedding. Oh my God. Oh my gosh. I cannot, I would be so stressed, but I guess everyone's just too drunk to care.

I don't know. Yeah, I guess so. I briefed the bartender who were on duty for the reception and asked them not to serve anyone who was clearly intoxicated. Then I heard yelling outside. I rushed out and saw Chloe and another guest in a full blown screaming match. The other guest was yelling at her for wearing a white shawl to someone else's wedding.

Here we go. I watched the guests rip the shawl off of Chloe, Chloe lost it. I ran over and told them both that if this continued, they would have to leave. I can't believe you're getting so many chances. Ugh, they eventually calmed down and went to find their seats. We are now 15 minutes from the ceremony.

The bridesmaids were waiting inside, still obviously drunk. Finally, the bride arrived and we were ready to begin. As the maid of honor started walking down the aisle. She tripped and started crying. The other bridesmaids helped her up and stood beside her. The rest of the ceremony went smoothly while aside from the drunken swaying.

Yeah, 

Janelle Riddell: I bet. Bet they were just like teetering over. 

Christa Innis: They're all, yeah, they're all swaying, like holding onto each other. Oh my God. Okay, so that was the ceremony part. This is says the reception meltdown. Fast forward to the reception. I stepped out briefly to turn on the exterior lights since it was getting dark.

When I came back, I saw the bride running out of the barn sobbing and yelling that no one cared about her and everyone was making the day about themselves. Right then my bartender ran up to me yelling that there was a fist fight happening, and to call the police. I immediately got on the phone.

This is like a movie scene. I'm like, what? It's crazy. right when I feel like I'm like, no. These weddings are not shocking to me. I've,heard it all. I'm like a fist fight at the wedding. Here we go. Okay. While I was on the call, Chloe came up to me screaming in my face, calling me horrible names. So she just works at the venue and she's getting all these people screaming at her in one day and this is insane.

And mocking my, she must be like, 

Janelle Riddell: yeah, the coordinator, like the 

Christa Innis: Yeah. The manager of the wedding or something. 

Janelle Riddell: Onsite planner or something. Yeah. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. I would be like, this is my last day. 

Janelle Riddell: Yeah. This is above my pay grade. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. she came up to me screaming in my face, calling me horrible names and mocking my appearance.

Oh my gosh. Her mother came quickly and grabbed her and they left before the police arrived. So this Chloe girl was there as a guest, I'm guessing. And why would she? Okay. And her mom was there, so she had to be. Family or something? Close friends. Close friends, yeah. Yeah. My bartender, who happened to be friends with the bride, asked if I could go inside so she could talk to her privately while I was there.

Trying to fill out an incident report. A guest came over said he could explain what happened. Apparently, while everyone was getting up to go to the buffet, the bride's ants, started yelling at each other. No one knows why. One of the aunts was Chloe's mom. Okay, so Chloe's a cousin. Chloe's a cousin.

Here we go. Chloe ran over to defend her and a bridesmaid tried to stop her gently touching her shoulder and saying, please don't do this. It's not about you. Today, Chloe did not like that. She turned around and smacked the bridesmaid to the ground. Then she got on top of her and started hitting her in the face.

So this Chloe girl's just a problem all around. And it, it sounds like they all kind of knew it if she showed up and they were all like telling her to get out. Like, don't wear that color. 

Janelle Riddell: That's crazy. 

Christa Innis: I feel like there might be some backstory. I mean, maybe it'll still come out, but I feel like she was maybe mad that she's not a bridesmaid, then found out what the color was and I don't know.

Mm. That sounds plausible. that's my vibe I'm getting, 

The maid of honor's dad pulled Chloe off and told her to leave. That's when the bride ran outside and Chloe turned her rage on me. After I got the full story. The other bartender told me he could handle things if I wanted to go check on the bride.

I brought her tissues and reassured her that Chloe and her mom were gone and that she deserves to enjoy the rest of the night. She pulled herself together and thankfully the rest of the wedding went beautifully. My gosh, I'd be traumatized after that. later I called the venue's owner. to update them and they yelled at me for not removing Chloe earlier, even though I asked them multiple times throughout the day.

If I could imagine then being like, it's your class classic. Yeah. Oh my God, that is insane. Oh, and of course this was the day the security cameras weren't working. The bridesmaid who had been attacked asked if we could provide footage for a possible lawsuit. I felt terrible for not being able to help.

Janelle Riddell: Honestly, it was the most chaotic, insane wedding I've ever experienced, I've seen a lot. Hope you enjoyed the story. Let me know if you have questions that isn't, that's crazy, First, I feel like the first part of that story is a perfect example of what you just said, of if a bride has a boundary, she's a bridezilla. I had a three drink maximum for the guys getting ready. I didn't get married till four in the afternoon. actually, I didn't know a three drink maximum for the groomsmen.

I had a three drink maximum for my husband, but like. anyone heard that, they'd be like, oh, you're so controlling. He's so whipped. You're such a bridezilla. It's like, no, because you don't know. Emotions run high on a wedding. Like, yeah, as long as you have in your head. I've promised her I'm only gonna have, of course, there's gonna be situations where people break that promise, but like if you don't discuss it and just assume people know not to get hammered, all of a sudden they're feeling it, they're having fun, whatever.

Maybe drinks are free, whatever's happening, and then all of a sudden you have swaying. Fist fighting bridesmaids. Yeah. Like and groomsmen. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. And that's the thing too, it's like groomsmen show up like at noon and they literally just hang out and poke tuxes on bridesmaids. Were like up early.

We're like getting like food together. We're like decorating. I feel like it's just such different vibes. Like it's like that viral thing where it's like the groomsmen just hanging out and the bridesmaids are like going crazy, you know? And I feel like. if they're with their like best friends, you know, it's so easy just to like socially drink with them and not react.

Yeah. But yeah, bottle of wine is insane. I was just telling someone, I'm like, we had champagne and stuff like the morning of my wedding and I feel like I. I remember thinking like, oh, I'll have a couple, maybe two glasses of wine. I don't even think I finished one because I was just so busy. Just like busy.

Yeah. Just don't think about it. but yeah, that's stuff you have to think about. Like if you are walking down an aisle, if you are a part of a wedding, if you're making a speech, speech, watch yourself. I've seen plenty where the bus man was too drunk to give his speech. Oh yeah, me 

Janelle Riddell: too.

And it's like, me too. 

Christa Innis: Embarrassing. 

Janelle Riddell: Like someone has to read it. Yeah. No, I haven't seen that, but I've seen it where like their grandma filter comes off, so it's a mixed crowd and it's like FBO Central and it's like, oh no. So embarrassing. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. My other reaction to this is, this isn't Chloe's first time doing this kind of stuff.

That Chloe was a known liability, and that's, again, references. What I talk about in a lot of my content is like, you got a risk manage as a bride, as a groom,  a person. If someone is a risk,  a known liability. You gotta have a hard conversation with them beforehand and mitigate that risk.

And if that means they're pissed off and upset with you, then sounds like there was a lot of risks that got unmitigated here. Yeah, but it was a multifaceted risk. That's trifle. 

Christa Innis: That's why I'm feeling like there's some kind of backstory. 'cause if they're cousins, there's gotta be some kind of like we don't have the age difference.

Like if she's like a lot younger. No. Or if they were close at one time. Because the fact that she showed up in the color and the bridesmaids immediately were like, we don't like her. Something had to have happened at a previous event. 

Janelle Riddell: Yeah, because honestly, even the wearing white to a wedding, I wouldn't do it.

But I also feel like. If someone does do it. Like who cares? Like I would never go up and pull 

Christa Innis: someone's Shaw off. Oh no. I know one cause I do like confessions too that people send me.one confession was my grandmother told me she wanted to wear white to my wedding or something, or showed up to my wedding in white and I was like.

Janelle Riddell: I would never say anything. If my grandma wanted to wear white to my wedding, I would've been like, I'm so happy you're here. But I'm also not the person that would care if someone showed up white. totally, I think someone wearing white maliciously to a wedding 

Christa Innis: mm-hmm.

Janelle Riddell: In either hopes to piss off the bride, hopes to draw attention to themselves because they like whatever it is,  the white is the tip of that iceberg. And that's the case with Chloe. Right. 

Christa Innis: A hundred 

Janelle Riddell: percent. Like and you can look at that specific scenario, in so many other relationship dynamics.

Mm-hmm. Right. Like it's not the front thing, it's the way back. Yes. was someone wearing white like. you should never wear white to a wedding for sure. But I'm saying like an elderly person who's like, doesn't know, or a girl who like, doesn't have enough people in her life or like whatever, and wears like a white floral dress to a wedding or something and literally it's just there as like a friend's date.

she's just wearing a white floral sundress, lots of color on it, but a white base to a wedding. Which I personally wouldn't do, but not everyone has a big sister. Not everyone knows. Right. You know what I mean? I think there's a lot of like, visible wedding, no-nos, like wearing white to a wedding, which is again, woman and a female experience.

Mm-hmm. But there's a lot of like less visible wedding no-nos that just like go unnoticed or undetected that in my opinion are just as rude or but again, that like depends on where you're from or People are gonna call me tacky or whatever, where I come from, it's very common that people don't bring gifts to a wedding.

They bring just money. Yeah. we call it presentation here, yeah. So when you're inviting someone to a wedding, you're inviting them as a guest. So no, you're not expecting that they're gonna give anything as a wedding guest. But it's also like, again, it's 2025, you know, that weddings are expensive and all these sorts of things like.

I personally, would never go to someone's wedding and give them no gift. Right. And not have a conversation with them and say, I'm really appreciative for the invitation. I cannot afford to give you a gift right now. and they're gonna say, oh my gosh, don't worry about it, whatever. That luckily hasn't been a scenario I'm in.

I'm just saying that's, I kind of put wearing white to wedding along those same sort of like. 

Christa Innis: Do you see 

Janelle Riddell: what I'm saying? Like along that same, yeah. And different people have different thresholds. A lot of people are gonna say, who cares if she wears white to a And I would tend to, maybe good thumb, depending on what her intentions are, just the same as a lot of people are saying that so entitled, no one has to give you a gift on your wedding day.

And I'm saying like, agree with you. I'm saying I personally would feel embarrassed to go to someone's wedding and get them no gift. Yes. Regardless of what type of gift giving you do in your work. Culture or Yeah. Location, 

Christa Innis: you know? Oh, totally. And I think you made a good point about if things are done maliciously or if that's like the final straw that broke the camel's back.

Because like so many people will see these stories and they're like, oh, it's not that bad. Or like, an wants to like pay for a part of the wedding or something, but then she makes a change last minute and they're like, well, she was paying for it. And it's like, 

But you didn't look at what she said before that, or that there was already this like animosity between them and then she did it. So there's obviously, it wasn't just oops, I accidentally picked pink when you wanted blue. Or there's these little things where when they do it maliciously or on purpose to wear white, to make you feel intimidated or make you feel bad, that's different than someone accidentally doing it.

Janelle Riddell: Or same as the same colors as the bridesmaids, right? Like that to me is also like if, you know, the bridesmaids are wearing eggplant purple or whatever. And then you wear eggplant purple. as a person who maybe thought they should have been a bridesmaid and weren't like the groom's sister who isn't close with the bride at all, wasn't asked to be it or whatever.

And she intentionally wears the same color as the bridesmaids.  That's maliciously wearing the same colors as the pride space. Yeah. And a lot of people are just right, whereas like. Someone who's the girlfriend of a friend from work has no way to like even find out. A lot of women will still ask like, Hey, could you ask your friend like what the colors are?

So I don't wear the same colors. Some people don't ask that, and that's fine. I don't think they need to. And so they accidentally show up in like the same, I don't know, like times are tight right now. Like I've definitely worn. A dress I've worn is a bridesmaid to someone's wedding.

Yeah. As a guest. at another wedding. Like, 

Christa Innis: but that should be the goal, right? Of like being able to wear your bridesmaid dresses, which I always say I want to be able to, and then I'm like never been able to rewear them, but I have accidentally worn the same color as bridesmaids, but it wasn't.

Maliciously. I didn't know they were gonna wear that color and it was a style dress completely. But yeah, that's definitely happened. I think it's all about intent and you don't always know someone's intent, but I think a lot of times you have a good idea if it's done that way. 

Janelle Riddell: Yeah, I mean a lot of it is just like in this particular story too, when everything that went wrong, 

 I think it's so interesting because this story is coming, like, it sounds like the bride was distressed and upset. Like, no one cares about me. Like she was crying. if there wasn't that note included, like, yeah, that wedding sounds like an absolute cluster, you know? Mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: What I was saying was some people like don't care. It sounds like the bride cared in this case, but as an onlooker, what they think is like, this is so crazy to a lot of people, like in their friend group, like, that's just a Friday. You know, like it's a bunch of drunk 

bridesmaid sc groomsmen.

It's fine. We'll figure it out. 

Janelle Riddell: Well, I mean, and no judgment, like whatever floats your boat, I guess. But, Yeah. Except that she was pulled into the drama that was upset at the bride. Yeah, totally. Totally. I that, again, it's like access to alcohol. Like I've been to a lot of weddings where it's not necessarily a dry wedding, it's they're serving alcohol, but because there's so fearful that there's gonna be like, maybe not necessarily a scene like this, but like.

A scene they really limit the availability of alcohol or they, whatever the case is. And so often those end up being the weddings that either one person has, what alcohol they brought in from the outside or whatever, and takes it way too far and you end up with that drunk person anyway, or it's just like a dud of a wedding.

no one's dancing, no So it's a balancing act for sure. Yeah. gotta, that's where you, again, you gotta know the people you're inviting and know like What their vibes are. Like if you have a group of people that like open bar, 'cause again, where I come from in Canada, in the province, I live in open bars typical for weddings.

Mm-hmm. Most weddings are open bar and so that I find actually creates. Like there isn't a weird scarcity mindset about the booze. Yeah. So it, just a better vibe because no one's drinking in excess. 'cause they're not worried about the bar's gonna be shut down or the bar's this like, it's just Yeah, normal.

Christa Innis: That's a good point. Um, maybe that's just the weddings I've gone to, but, yeah, I would say most I've been to, to our open bar, but there's definitely been some like that. Switch over to cash bar that I've been to, or they start as cash bar and then it's like open bar, or there's some that are just kind of like uncertain where you're like.

Is it gonna clo like it closes during dinner or something? I've seen that, but um, 

Janelle Riddell: yeah, it's 

Christa Innis: pretty common I think at venues, but yeah, I know alcohol's like a tricky thing because it's like some people have that relative or that person that they know they want there, but they can't control themselves around alcohol.

And it's like, do you wanna babysit all night? And as the bride and groom, you don't want that. Responsibility. So you would hope, at least for the most part, that they would like keep the drama away. But it sounds, it sucks that this bride was brought into the drunken drama with cousins and aunts and God knows what else.

Janelle Riddell: Yeah, I've had a lot of followers message me, different scenarios where exactly that they've been faced with that scenario. There's someone, usually it's like on the in-law side, right? That's why it's being sent to me. Whoever it is that they can't trust them around alcohol, and so they make the decision to not invite them, and then after having a conversation with them or whatever the case is, and, that person influences a whole bunch of people to not come to the wedding or whatever it is, you know what I mean?

And so. it can be so tricky. I am really lucky that I'm speaking from a place of, I didn't have anyone coming to my wedding that I was worried was gonna drink to excess and like be really embarrassing or like get in fights or like, no, none of that. So that was really, good.

But I know there's so many people who are in that situation, and that's the same thing. That's the same thing that people would say everything we were talking about. Like, oh, well just tell them not to do that thing. Or just say, you know, you're not gonna drive five hours. it isn't that simple. Like people would want their uncle there, people would want their mom there or whatever, but they know that she's has a bad relationship with alcohol and especially on an emotionally fueled day or.

So tricky for people. 

Christa Innis: well that was a crazy story. I would say crazy. Probably the most violent one I've ever read. Oh. I think I've maybe read one other with a fist fight. But this this was pretty intense.

okay. Well to end the episode, I always like to read a couple of weekly confessions that people send me. Okay.First one says, I wasn't made of honor by title, but I did everything they would do instead. Okay. That doesn't really seem like a crazy confession.

No. I mean, that sucks when that happens. 'cause you know, especially if you're like a people pleaser you like, I did all this, but like, yeah. Not the maid of honor. Yeah. I've definitely been a part of a lot of weddings where I'm not the maid of honor, but I did the Maid of Honor work because I was just like, I'm that person.

Like what do you need help with? How can I help? yeah, 

Janelle Riddell: there. 

Christa Innis: this one says, my mother-in-law threw a temper tantrum because my sister is throwing my baby shower. Yikes. I mean, 

Janelle Riddell: yikes. I guess, it's totally like situation dependent. I live in a world where like, my family is big, people's families are big.

Like have two baby showers, then like. It doesn't need to just be one baby shower, but I know that's not common for everybody. Sometimes it's like, there only is one baby shower, so 

Christa Innis: Yeah. I don't get throwing a tantrum about it. Just like, no, together, bring a cake. I don't know. Figure it out.

Janelle Riddell: Bring a cake. 

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Sometimes it's like hard because I'm I don't know how people deal with, I would just be like. You can throw one at your house and invite your friends to it. Yeah. let's see. This one says I nearly ran out on my wedding day. Turns out I should have. Ooh, ooh, that's it.

That's it. That's all it says. That's all it says. 'cause they're just short Instagram confessions. So I'm wondering if either they're still married and they're like, Ooh, rocky, or they got a divorce. I've had a few like that, 

Janelle Riddell: maybe he's gay. Maybe. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. if she or he, I don't wanna say who.

Well, or, 

Janelle Riddell: the opposite right or 

Christa Innis: right, but they, maybe she's gay. 

Janelle Riddell: Yeah. I don't know. the more likely is he's just a jerk or he's he cheated on her or like, if we're playing the laws of averages here, she probably should because he's a jerk. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. I feel like if they have that feeling like before, while they're planning the wedding, like, I should probably cancel my wedding then it, I feel like most of the time then it comes true.

Not comes true, but like, yeah. They're like, yeah, all those signs were pointing to, no, don't do it. Oh my gosh. 

Janelle Riddell: All right. Well, thank you so much for coming on. I really appreciate you coming on and sharing your perspective and your hot takes and confessions.

Christa Innis: for anyone listening, where can they follow you, find your content, and, anything else exciting that you're working on? 

Janelle Riddell: Absolutely. thank you so much for having me. This was such a good discussion. 

so they can find me on TikTok, Instagram or YouTube shorts, but I don't post a ton on YouTube shorts right now. My username is at Hey, Janelle Marie. Awesome. Well, thank you so much for coming on.

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