Here Comes the Drama with Christa Innis

Dress Codes, Divided Families & Day-Of Disasters With Lisa P.

• Christa Innis • Season 1 • Episode 22

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What happens when a dream wedding breaks more than just budgets?
In this episode, Lisa Pontius shares how her whirlwind romance turned into a wedding that fractured friendships—literally.

From unexpected parent fallout to the silent war of traditions and finances, Christa and Lisa unpack the hidden landmines of wedding planning that no one warns you about.

Plus, they dive into viral hot takes—from guest dress codes to social media restrictions—and ask: are you really ready to get married, or just pressured to?

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month! 

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • When the In-Laws Stop Speaking – Lisa shares how her and her husband’s parents became friends, then stopped speaking after the wedding drama unfolded.
  • Wedding Planning Pressure Cooker – Money, expectations, and tradition clashed hard during Lisa’s wedding, revealing everyone’s “ugliest selves.”
  • The Myth of the Perfect Day – Lisa reflects on being the bride: “I wish I had been a guest at my own wedding.”
  • Setting Social Media Limits – Can couples really control what guests post? Lisa shares her surprisingly balanced take.
  • Marriage > Wedding – With 12 years of marriage behind her, Lisa offers clarity on what really matters post-vows.
  • Planning Regrets and Lessons Learned – Why day-of coordinators are non-negotiable, and what every bride should do first.

About Lisa

Lisa Pontius is a New Yorker-turned-Charleston housewife who brings bold opinions, vintage glam, and real talk to every conversation. A former culinary school grad and kitchen pirate, Lisa traded 12-hour shifts for southern living—and never looked back. She first began sharing her story online during the pandemic and quickly found her voice talking about motherhood, self-worth, toxic relationships, and societal norms—always with a splash of style. Now known for her blend of 1950s glamour and modern edge, Lisa dishes up a mix of fashion, fire, and unfiltered honesty that's anything but boring.

Follow Lisa P.

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A Team Dklutr Production

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi guys. Welcome back to another episode of, here Comes The Drama. I just wanna jump right in because I know you guys love the crazy stories, but I wanna introduce today's guest that I am so grateful that she came on. She is a must follow on TikTok if you love some smart, interesting takes. She's a mom, a content creator, and the queen of talking about the hard stuff from boundaries to parenting relationships and.

Everything in between. You might know her as it's me, Lisa P, and today she's joining us to talk about all things wedding culture, bridezillas, some of the wildest listener wedding stories we have come across. We are diving into drama, reacting in real time, and of course sharing a little banter along the way.

So please enjoy this very special episode with Lisa. Hi, Lisa. Thank you so much for joining me. 

Lisa P: Hi. Thank you for having me. 

Christa Innis: Yes, I am so excited to dive into this. like we were just saying before, recording, there's so much drama when it comes around weddings and events and all that stuff. But before I talk too much, can you just tell everyone a little bit about you and, I don't know, like maybe what interested you in coming on?

I feel like I've seen your content. A lot and I feel like you share a lot of important takes so I'm just interested to hear a little bit more about you and, what kinda I interested you. 

Lisa P: Yeah. well, I'm Lisa. My handle is, it's me, Lisa p across all socials. I share a lot about motherhood and relationships on my page, so, the conversation of weddings absolutely comes up.

The conversation of marriage comes up. So, I was intrigued to kind of come on here and talk about some of the drama that surrounds it. but yeah, my content really focuses on. relationship motherhood centered, but with like a real life spin. I like to kind of get to the why of the way things are, in a cute outfit.

So a little bit 

Christa Innis: of everything. Yeah. I love your style. I am always like you so put together. And I like thought about that when I was coming on. I was like, okay, I need to make sure I'm like. dressed well because I know Lisa will be, she has such good style. 

Lisa P: Listen, I love an outfit, but I'm just as likely to show up in, like my gym clothes if I haven't had a chance to get changed.

So I totally get it. I this is one of my self-care pick me up things that kind of got me out of my motherhood blues, and I consistently keep up with it because I know it's. such a mental health thing for me. 

Christa Innis: Yes. I am right there with you I did the same thing. Like especially with working from home, I feel like you don't see a lot of people all the time or like, I'm just here with my child.

And so sometimes it was just like, I need that feeling of getting ready. And so like, even when I was home during COVID, I was like, I need to like make sure I do something to make for myself. It's like an 

Lisa P: art. I think I got more into it actually during COVID because I was already a stay at home mom.

But I had that busy schedule outside of the home, so I'd go from like gym to running errands to being with the kids. So I like wouldn't have that And then once everyone was home, yeah, like fully sweat panted, I was like, oh no, no, no. I gotta get up and put some pants on because Yeah. Otherwise this is gonna be it for the next decade for sure.

Yeah. 

Christa Innis: Oh, a hundred percent. I know. I was like, I can't be someone, I can't just like sit. In sweats all day Of course, there are days I am in sweats all day. I will never deny that. I love a good sweatsuit, but If I'm doing something from home, I'm like, I still need to like do something or else I will just melt into my bed.

Lisa P: For sure. It shifts your energy I think and it definitely makes me feel more, cause I'm around little people all day, you know? It makes me feel like a little bit more adult. 

Christa Innis: Yes, absolutely. I love that. Okay, so jumping into crazy stories, people love hearing the crazy wedding stories.

I'm sure we've all have witnessed. I know I have some things you have. A situation, I dunno if situation's the right word, something that happened in your family when it's relating to weddings and marriage. So I dunno if you wanna talk a little bit more about that. 

Lisa P: Sure. so I feel like I have to preface this with me and my husband moved very quickly, right after we met.

We knew that was it like we were ready. 

Christa Innis: I think we like attempted to put a deposit on a wedding venue down before we were even like. Publicly engaged. So it was very untraditional in that sense. And I think that sort of started off the entire wedding journey with our respective families and kind of threw everyone for a loop from the get-go 

Lisa P: we were just ready to get married as soon as we met. And, 

Christa Innis: yeah, so we actually met because. My parents 

Lisa P: who were like new transplants to Charleston, which is where I'm still living. they had met his parents and they had become fast friends, so they. were Friends first before I had even met my husband, before I had even like, heard of my husband.

and somehow, through the process of us getting married, their relationship completely disintegrated. And you hear it all the time with weddings that friendships will break up. 

Christa Innis: But like, this was so out of left field because these were like 

Lisa P: the adults in the room, these were the parents.

Yeah, especially too, because I don't know I feel like that's like a dream for a lot of people. they meet and then it's like, oh my gosh, maybe our kids will get married. You know? Like it just, 

we thought we had it hacked. We thought we were about to hit the grandparent lottery of like, oh, we'll have kids and they'll just all watch these kids and just hang out.

Like, this will be great. It did not work out like that. 

Christa Innis: Was it the wedding planning? And of course like if, there's anything Too intrusive or you don't wanna share, like, just stop me. do you think the wedding planning or like the moving fast or anything with that, that had to do with it or just happened soon?

I think 

Lisa P: so. was 100% the wedding mostly. I mean, again, I'm not privy to like what went on behind closed doors in their friendship. There might have been like some underlying stuff, like, who knows, right? that's their drama. But the wedding. Added so much pressure onto it and onto me and my husband at the time too.

Wedding planning is extremely stressful. There's money involved, there's traditions involved. There's a lot of things that like are much more serious than a social relationship, and sometimes you kind of, what I think happened is like their incompatibilities as. Friends kind got blown up like blown wider because of the wedding planning and the pressure of that.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I was just talking to someone how like weddings, especially when you bring in two families together, almost brings in this like Unnecessary comparison though, right? Because it's like if someone's like, let's say family A is like really into planning and like maybe they have a little more finances or something.

The other one not so much. They might feel a little like. Uh, not insecure about it, but they might be like, Ooh, like I'm uncomfortable with this, or I feel like they're doing so much and I can't do enough, or, I'm being pushed out. when that might not be actually happening. They might just kind of have those feelings of like.

 what's going on here? 

Lisa P: I think everybody wants it to be like, really, even really down the line. And like in movies you see it, you there's like the bride side and the groom side, and it's equal. And I think that's just not as realistic as like it actually goes down.

 I know in our situation, both of my parents are only children, so there isn't like a huge extended family on that end. But traditionally the bride pays for the wedding. So like. There was a lot of well, this seems like a lot of your people and we don't have a lot of people and we had a very small wedding anyway because that's just what we wanted.

 but it definitely. Everyone had a lot of feelings about it, about how many people were coming, how many cousins we could invite, who all was gonna be there, who all was paying for what, and it just, ugh.

Christa Innis: there's so many Yeah. Opinions that come into a wedding that so hard. My number one tip for brides like that, like watch and listen. I'm just like, get on the same page with your partner first. Block out all the noise because it's so hard. It's like you get people coming in that you maybe never had an opinion on anything before.

And they come in, they're like, you need this. And you're like, wait, do I need, yeah. Where did this come from? 

Lisa P: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think weddings are in some way, like. Not indicative at all of marriage. So I think it's such a weird standalone experience. And again, I'm now looking at it like 12. We just celebrated our 12 year anniversary, so like 12 years later, all the feelings have subsided.

We can laugh at it now, right? we can all laugh at the drama and the craziness and how stressed we were because it wasn't the end of the world at the end of the day, we got married and we've been married and marriage is longer right than the wedding part, but. I think, the family's coming together.

This is the first time where people have to like work together, work within each other's boundaries. Maybe set some boundaries, maybe do things that their mother-in-law doesn't like. these are the things that you're like, oh, I'm not gonna be able to make everyone happy and myself happy all at the same day the same way.

Christa Innis: Yeah, yeah, that's true. It's like all the personalities coming together and. Certain ones really shining a certain a way me might not have seen before. I've definitely seen it in a lot of weddings. I've seen it in a lot of just events in general. Just like family events. You see like, oh, that's how they are in this light.

Right? Or this is, that's how feel about that. Interesting. Yeah. Especially like you don't know what other pressures they're getting. Like I know just certain brides, like I've known before, they get married and then I know them during their wedding and I know them after their wedding and I'm like, oh, some of them were different people during all of those stages.

not saying good or bad, I'm just saying like they just had different pressures put on them or different, situations. And it's just interesting how that comes up. 

Lisa P: I mean, I know I felt victim to like the want everything to be perfect, like hyper fixating. I think brides in general do that. I think that's where the bride Silda comes from.

Yep. because there's so much pressure to want this day to be this picture perfect. Oh my God. Once in a million time moment. And there's so much pressure on it that I like. Oh my God. I joke with people all the time that I wish I had been a guest at my wedding. 'cause my wedding was awesome.

Being the bride at my wedding was not awesome. 

Christa Innis: Yeah, I heard that so many times and I was one of the later ones, like outta my friend group. I was like one of the last ones to get married. my husband and I had been in so many weddings, so I've seen so many I heard so many bride say that they were like.

I didn't get to enjoy it or like there was too much of this going on or I kept getting pulled in different directions and so I was like, okay, I wanna try so hard not that to happen. Of course it did in to some extent, but yeah, you hear about that so many times. You put all this pressure on this day and half the time the bride and groom don't get to enjoy it the way they want to.

Lisa P: Yeah. I think there's just so much anxiety and so much riding on it and like. feel like that contributed a ton to our parents, kind of having a friend break up, during it for sure.  everyone is kind of like, and this sounds terrible because it's like a day of love, but like everyone's kind of their ugliest selves,  around wedding planning.

'cause there's big money and there's big expectations and there's big family. It's a recipe for disaster. it's just a recipe for like, something to happen. Like there's gonna be some drama. It could be like with your girlfriends, it could be with like a bridesmaid or a groomsman or it doesn't have to be your immediate family, but like, something's coming up.

Christa Innis:  yeah. Oh, that's for sure. they say everyone's like, true colors come out during intense moments and events like that. so moving past that, so they kind of just drifted apart and like. Now at family events, they just kinda like drift by. They like still aren't 

Lisa P: friends. they are co grandparents.

 and there are like family events where everybody comes and everyone's like, fine and peaceful. But liketo the point where I almost forget that they used to hang out like independently before us. You know what I mean? mm-hmm. They act like Stranger Law grandparents. but yeah, they used to like.

Have beers by the pool and hang out and that just blows my mind. 

Christa Innis: Wow, It's interesting how relationships can just change so quickly like that when you go through an experience, I guess. 

Lisa P: Well, and I'm sure they, all in their own way probably like, ugh, we're gonna have to see them forever.

Like a divorced couple. Yes. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like they're literally going through all those stages. 'cause they're gonna. they, yeah, you can't just ghost 

Lisa P: each 

Christa Innis: other and like never 

Lisa P: see each other again because it would be easier, like you could totally do that one. set of these parents doesn't even live here anymore, so like  would be easy to never even think about each other except for the fact that you share grandchildren now.

So be careful who your friends are. Yeah. 

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh, yes. Wow. Yeah, I would say that would be a, I don't even know if I would call the crazy story. It's, sad that that happens and it's like sad that there's pressure on weddings and stuff, but, guess I. Maybe it wasn't meant to be at the end, 

Lisa P:  it was meant to be because you guys met through it.

I like to think that they were friends only for long enough to like bring me and my husband together. That's my like silver lining about it, that they were never really meant to be friends. that was kind of part of like the plan. 

Christa Innis: Yes. I love that. I love that. And you guys knew right from the bat that it was meant to.

Lisa P: Yeah, we knew. We knew really early and like, I know everybody says that. Some people get that light bulb moment. Personally, like full disclosure, I didn't have the light bulb moment. My husband had the light bulb moment. but yeah, he turned to his dad after the first weekend we had met and we met at my dad's.

60th birthday  and we met because I flew down to Charleston for my dad's birthday. And my husband's parents were guests at this birthday party, Shindi  And they roped him into coming to kind of like, hang out with me 'cause I would be the only under 60-year-old person. and that's how we met.

We were like kind of, it wasn't a setup, but. It worked. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. It like wasn't a set up, but they were like, They've got a son. I don't know. You're home. Yeah. Like, take your son maybe. Yeah. was all meant to be in just a,different kind of way. all right. I love that.

 Thanks for sharing that. okay, let's get into some wedding hot takes. So these are different hot takes that people. Send to me on my stories and we're just gonna kind of react to them, say what you think about them. Okay. all right. Should couples get to control what guests post on social media about their wedding?

Lisa P: I guess it depends before or after the wedding, but like, I don't think so. 

I know I've never really heard of that before. Lately I've been getting a few more like that, thatI was never like. feel like I got maybe too early to like even have that as a conversation because like, the hashtag thing hadn't happened.

So I don't think you can control everyone around you. No, unfortunately, no. Yeah. I feel 

Christa Innis: like when it comes to like, okay, the bride's getting ready and she hasn't come out yet. Yeah. Like don't post. 

Lisa P: Yeah. Don't 

Christa Innis: post a picture 

Lisa P: of the bride in her dress before she does her like walk down the aisle. be respectful.

Don't post any pictures where the bride looks bad. I feel like that's just not being a, friend. Right? if you catch her like picking a booger, maybe don't post that one. Um, but yeah, as far as what they can share, I don't see a problem with it. 

Christa Innis: I feel it's like the age we live in, it's like you just know, being a bride or groom at the wedding.

people are gonna take pictures, hopefully not during the ceremony if you have no photos, 

Lisa P: Yeah, you're not just gonna be able to share your professional photos. People will have like candidates and stuff. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. And last times those turn out really good. I mean, I didn't have photos during the ceremony, but like I had some random like f friends that took photos, like during our  first dance that were like so good that like just, they just happened to catch.

And I was like, you don't. Yeah. 

Lisa P:  We had a videographer, which I think was like pretty new when we got married. We got married in 2013, so like, okay. It was a while ago. so we had a and had a photographer and I wanted a lot of those candid, so we did get a good amount of those, which I'm so thankful for because I think those are so fun.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I know. I ended up liking 'cause Yeah, we did the same, we had two photographers and a videographer and I loved the candid photos so much more than the stage ones. Like the stage ones. I was like, oh no. 

Lisa P: That was one of the things I had to fight my family on 'cause I wanted like a very. guess now you would call it like editorial style.

Mm-hmm. Photography. cause I just thought it was so romantic and pretty and again, this was right like in the middle of Pinterest so I was like, let me do something a little different. and they were like, no, you have to have the like portraits. We have to do every family member in every iteration stand there, smile, portrait.

And I was like, okay. That one. I was fine. 

Christa Innis: You're like, all right, that's your thing. Okay. Yeah, I know 

Lisa P: I have those though now, but 

Christa Innis: yeah, I feel like they're the ones that look nice, but like I felt like when I was looking through them, I was like, that just doesn't look like me. But yeah, you gotta have those, but sometimes you gotta do the old school thing for sure.

Yeah, it's good. It's a balance. all. Is it setting boundaries or just controlling to ban certain songs, colors, or styles from your wedding? Because I've been hearing this more and more about people like setting a certain, like, no, 

Lisa P: actually, I think that's setting boundaries. In fact, I don't think it's controlling.

I think it's curating. Mm, 

Christa Innis: mm-hmm. 

Lisa P: You're curating your event. And I'm a girl who loves a theme. Okay. So like, if someone gave me a color palette and a vibe, I would be fucking psyched. because I'd be like, what we're doing glam Met Gala, black Tie. Got it. I feel like. I think that is curating not just the after products, like the photos and stuff, but you're curating the whole experience.

Which makes it a more immersive experience in general, and that kind of elevates everyone's experience. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. I was just talking to someone about it and people get so offended by. Being told there's a theme or like certain things to follow, but as like a planner as like, I don't know, type A in, some aspects, I love being told it too.

Like if they're like, wear a shade of pink. I'm like, let me find my best pink. let me look for it. Yeah, 

Lisa P: no, I know at least that, you know, the expectation I, my biggest pet peeve is where it's like so randomly vague that you're like, what does this mean? Yeah, like barn cocktail, I'm like. Our boots too much, right?

Like where are we at? Like which level?  me more references. Gimme a board. That would be great. Gimme a reference. Yeah. I have a friend of mine who does this constantly and she's a, like a photo stylist and it's very on brand for her. This is what she does, like her living. But whenever she has an event, she will send out a mood board.

Oh my gosh, I love that. Or like outfits. Anyway, she had a big birthday that just happened and she had it at a magic show and she sent out a mood board and everybody showed up and showed out. And like we were the only group that was dressed up.

Okay. Like circus for performers. But we were all doing it together. Okay. Yeah. And it had colors, it had mood and vibe, and she was like, this is the vibe. And everyone was like. Bet and like someone came as like the rabbit coming out of the hat. It was wild, but it was so much fun. Oh gosh. If you're not to that, I can understand why that would be intimidating, but you could still just pick colors.

Yes. You know, you could still adhere to it. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. I think it's nice because when there's those times, certain events, not necessarily a wedding, but we're like. It looks like everyone's attending a different event. Like someone's in a formal dress, someone's in like leggings and a t-shirt, I feel like I always try to dress a little nicer than I think ' cause I'm like, I don't ever look under.

Take it from me. Yes. That was like, I feel like someone told me that years ago and I was like, yeah, I always wanna be a little, over, because you never really know what 

Lisa P: to expect. Yeah. Well, listen, if someone's gonna talk about you, you would rather them talk about like, wow, she was really overdressed, but that was a great outfit.

Yes. Than like, oh, yikes. You know what I mean? Like you'd always rather be like shining. Yes. Yeah. Like let's not wear like jeans to a wedding. But I also feel like the dress code thing has gotten very convoluted in between our parents' generation and our generation and now like the younger generation getting married.

I feel like people really don't understand, and I see this on TikTok all the time, and I feel like since you're in the wedding sphere, you probably see it lot, but like people don't understand the difference between cocktail and black tie or black tie and white tie and these sort of like. I feel like giving the vibe and the color and like a theme is like the new way of doing that.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Yeah, I agree. Because I've definitely have spent time googling, like, okay, it says cocktail formal. And I'm like, what does that mean? Is that like a step up from cocktail? And I'm like, what does that mean? so yeah, I,  agree. I feel like that's their way of like helping them out. Like some people take it as like.

the Bridezilla term so entitled, so it's bridezilla to do this, but I'm like, I feel like from a bride's perspective, they're like, no, I'm, trying to help. Like, I'm just like giving you some guidelines so you like, it's easier. You're like, 

Lisa P: yeah, it's a formal event, but it's also like in a meadow with grass and flowers and like, yeah, you might not wanna come in a sequined ball gown.

Like, it's just not gonna fit the vibe. So like, yeah, here's the thing. 

Christa Innis: Yes. We want you to feel comfortable and at home here. That's why I always think about it.  awesome. Should a maid of honor or best man ever bring someone the bride or groom used to date? Oh, I'm gonna say no. 

Lisa P: No, that's not even like a hot take.

That's like a obvious one. Yeah, 

Christa Innis:  I would hope not. I've been seeing these like crazy stories lately.  someone commented on a video saying that. She was at a wedding where the maid of honor gave a speech for her sister. He was her twin sister. Turns out she had dated the groom before and in her speech talked about how she was a better sister and that he should have picked her.

I was like, how is this real? Like I, I don't 

Lisa P: you marry your sister's ex-boyfriend. That's what my thought. Like that. Wait, yeah. Like five steps back. 

Christa Innis: How? How? Yeah. cause she's like, when he met the twin, he'd left the other one. So I'm like, how intense was like, were they like teenagers and dated or were they like living together?

Yeah. Was 

Lisa P: this like 10 years apart? You know what I mean? Like dated the sister in middle school. Right. Maybe if that's the situation where it was like you were eight years old in third grade handing notes back together and you were like, this is my boyfriend. your sister started doing him in college, then I could get it.

That's like the only scenario I could see that being Right. That's like just really tricky waters. Like I just like not for me, not for me. It's not for me. Absolutely not. I have two sisters and never has there been a stream crossed ever in any way, nor would there ever. That is just, Nope. 

Christa Innis: No thank you. No, I'm the same with friends too.

Like I know people that I'm like, oh, I dated my friend's ex, whatever. I'm just like, once a friend is like with that person, I'm like, no, I'm good. Thank you. 

Lisa P: Agree. The closest I ever did was I dated for like a long time. A guy that my friend had like a hookup once with, and there was a conversation ahead of time.

Like, there's gotta be a cur, like a courtesy call, right? Being like, Hey, is this weird for you? Is this okay? Are we okay? Yes.  Yeah. cause that's real code. I mean, you've gotta, oh, sure. You, you can't date someone's like. No, that's no. Yeah, don't 

Christa Innis: bring 'em to a wedding. Please. Definitely. Also don't 

Lisa P: bring them to the wedding.

Christa Innis: Yeah, no surprises. Especially. Okay, let's get into this week's wedding story submission. So these are a bunch of submissions that are sent to me. I don't read them ahead of time, and we'll just react in real time. So feel free to stop me or I'll pause and here we go. Let's brace ourselves. Okay. This wedding was just one crazy thing after another.

We all flew across the country from Oregon to Georgia.  though some of us flew into Nashville and drove to save some money so the bride could get married at her parents' house. The thing is they lived in a pretty normal subdivision and Georgia that they had moved to after she went off to college.

So she had no emotional attachment to it, and very few attendees lived nearby. She had been there for a month preparing for the wedding, but when we arrived the week before, she hadn't done anything with the fake flowers to make them into bouquets. Hadn't picked a single song for the dj, not even first dance, so we jumped in to help.

While I was helping her compose the song list, her dad yelled at me for being on his computer, even though his daughter was sitting right there with me. The morning of the wedding, the bride was 

Lisa P: in the front yard, setting up chairs for the ceremony and starting to yell, I'm claustrophobic if you're not helping set up chairs, get out of the yard and none of you are helping.

We tried to help, but she really didn't know what she needed help with and kept redoing everything herself, like moving chairs half an inch to the right.  

Christa Innis: When she was finally getting ready to get dressed, her mom was nowhere to be found. After waiting over an hour, we sent the bride's brother to check the neighbor's houses, 

and

they found her mom getting her hair and makeup done there.

When she finally came back to the bridal suite, which was actually just the master bedroom, the bride wanted a picture of her mom helping her into her dress. For some reason, instead of stepping into it, they lifted it up over her head and fell straight onto the mother of bride's Freshly applied bright red lipstick.

Oh my God, 

Lisa P: that's my nightmare. That's terrible. She said yes. It stained the dress. Oh no. If she's already like that panicky, razzled 

and pissed off. Oh my God. 

everyone panicked. I ran to the computer. This was 2009, no smartphones yet, so I googled to  

Christa Innis: how to get lipstick out of the wedding dress.

I don't even remember what the solution was, but we found the instructions and luckily the stain wasn't too noticeable in photos, so we moved on with the day. The bride had insisted to get these fancy high heels that matched the floral belt on her dress. Most of the bridesmaids didn't order them in time, but we all had to have heels in colors that coordinated with the floral belt.

I was her roommate, so I made sure to order them early. They were expensive and uncomfortable. You were talking about like the having everyone look the same.  and of course we had to walk through a yard in them since the aisle was in the grass, 

Lisa P: so that was something that was not thought through. Like, this is already just like bad planning like  this can all be attributed to a lot of bad planning.

Christa Innis: Yeah. This is just like not thinking of the logistics behind everything. It's like, yeah, you want these great shoes, but we're gonna be walking in muddy grass or you know, through the grass. Yeah. Yeah. Ooh. I'm already like bat in heels, so walking in grass is terrible. okay. We basically,  aerated the lawn ourselves.

I nearly lost a shoe and another bridesmaid almost fell. they scheduled the ceremony for 5:00 PM in direct sunlight. In the middle of July, the bride was sweating so much. One of her brothers, a groomsman, passed a handkerchief to the best man who passed it to the groom and handed it to the bride so she could wipe her face.

Oh, that's another thing. in Weddings, outdoor in the middle of the summer.  

it's so hard to plan for. I've been to a wedding in the middle of July and same thing, we were like covered in sweat. The sun was literally like in our eyes. I don't know how the bride and groom felt. 

Lisa P: Oh my gosh. Well 

then your hair.

Yeah, I'm like the hair, the makeup, the whole thing. it's just 

Christa Innis: all that time and money is just, 

Lisa P: yeah, I know. We got married at the end of April and in Charleston it's like hit or miss. We like, luckily had a good day, but we almost got rained out so could go the other way. 

Christa Innis: Right. it's like so hard.

'cause you never know, every month has their kind of battles. same with us. We got married the end of March. And it could be like  

Lisa P: almost rainy season. We had every kind of weather that day. It was like snow, sun, rain or like whatever. Bring it our way. It's fine. I think I would take 

most things over.

Sweating though. Yeah. Rain. I feel like you could just be like, oh well, like 

Christa Innis: there's been a lot of pretty weddings I've seen online with rain and they like have like their umbrellas and it's all like decked 

Lisa P: out still. Do you know that scene from Pirates of the Caribbean? It's like the second one where she's like.

The wedding got interrupted, but she's like being rained on. Yes. And I always thought that was so beautiful that you could do this white gothic wedding almost. If you had like the right vibe, it could definitely work out. 

Christa Innis: Yes,  and I always look at those brides too, and I'm like. This is a bride that's there to get married.

She's like more of like, yes. Like let's look, make it look a aesthetic and everything. I love when they just show them like running down the aisle or like at the end, like getting rained on. I'm like, that's, it's romantic. Yeah, it really is. 

Lisa P: It's, it's an underrated.  we went to one where it was pouring rain and it was pouring rain the whole way up until like she had to walk down the aisle.

Like we were sitting there. Everyone had like. our programs covering our heads, like it was raining and then it stopped. Oh my god, I'm gonna get chills.and this wasn't even my wedding.  she walks down the aisle, the sun comes out, and a rainbow, a double rainbow comes out at the end of their ceremony.

And I just remember thinking like. That's amazing. Like Bravo, like I had the best photos. Yeah, the photos were unreal. Like it was so Well done weather. Like it was well done. I love that, 

 that's the thing too. It does not always happen that way, but I was very happy for her. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. I feel like right after our rain, it's like everything just looks a little brighter, like Yeah.

That's amazing. I love that, but the 

Lisa P: sweating like a pig. Not so much. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Lisa P:  that I'm kind of out on. There's no aesthetic way to like handle that. There's no glistening, 

Christa Innis: no, I'm definitely not one to glisten when I'm sweating either. after the ceremony we took a few pictures and they sent us. Up to the reception venue, a community center in their neighborhood, about half a mile away.

The caterers arrived at the same time the bridal party did. It was Mexican food catered by a restaurant, but they microwaved it on site. There weren't enough outlets in the prep area, so they plugged the microwaves in throughout the room. Naturally, this overwhelmed the circuit. And tripped a breaker. No, someone had to find the breaker box to reset it.

Lisa P: Oh my gosh. This, oh my God. So my background is in catering and the second it was microwaved on scene, I was like, oh, this is gonna be bad. just from like, it's gonna be gross kind of way, but also. The breaker box. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. Because even that alone, like microwaving all the food. These like golf, I'm assuming 

Lisa P: it's like a golf club type thing.

Like they have kitchens, commercial kitchens. Usually I'm kind of think or usually skates will come and like see where they're serving from ahead of time. So like that's an interesting, or they would bring their own Affordable kitchen type deal. So 

Christa Innis: yeah, that seems like another interesting thing with like logistics.

Like if you're gonna get married at a place to not, for them to not tell you, like the people that like own the venue to be like, Hey, so we don't actually have a kitchen, so you have to do, bring it hot 

Lisa P: or I don't know. Yeah, bring it hot, have some chaing dishes ready to go, like. Do they have like six microwaves, like through the reception area?

That's what I'm picturing. 

Christa Innis: We're just gonna put on the head table for a minute. We gotta warm up. Yeah, just all of 

Lisa P: these microwaves just showing up. I'm just like, 

Christa Innis: yeah. Oh, this poor bride. Does it get worse? okay. Even after all the guests had arrived and had been just standing around talking for 30 minutes, there was still no sign of the bride groom or photographer.

There was no music, no announcements, and people were hungry. That's one of my worst things at a wedding. I feel like food needs to be like on time. Priority. Sure. 

Lisa P: Yeah. People are hungry. Can be drunk. So like feed them early. Yeah. 

Christa Innis: You need to fill their bellies. Yeah. Like weddings where you're waiting like an extra long time for food.

Like I feel like that you remember food, you remember things around food. At weddings, I. We, the wedding party and bride's parents finally decide to let people go through the buffet. No one told us not to. About 70 minutes after we arrived and around 15 minutes after everyone had eaten the bride and groom finally show up.

So they're all eating before the bride and groom come. 'cause no one knows where they are. 

Lisa P: I get it. Sometimes do like cocktail hour or you do like, but you gotta feed people or give 'em drinks or something. Long time. 

Christa Innis: You have to think about it as you're hosting a party and so like your guests need to be taken care of.

Like yeah, you run away sometimes and do photos and stuff, but it sounds, yeah. 

Lisa P: Photos after the ceremony are super standard, but that's usually when there's like cocktail hour with some bites and some food. 

Christa Innis: It sounds like there was no wedding planner or coordinator or some, oh, no, there was no plan.

Get this in the. Oh my gosh. So at that point, the DJ announces them. The bride was livid, that people had eaten Without them, not much we could do. At that point, we had gotten them plates and had them sit down so the rest of the schedule could continue. During the cake cutting the groom ended up dripping chocolate down the front of the bride's dress.

This poor, let's just go to bed at this point. Done? Yep. Oh my God. Why are we having  dripping chocolate? Like, we gotta think about these 

Lisa P: things 

Christa Innis: when we pick our desserts. 

Lisa P: Dripping chocolate. I'm not sure I understand, unless it's like a fondue thing, but, 

Christa Innis: yeah. Yeah. Maybe it's like a. Was that chocolate fountain or something?

I don't know. Oh gosh. The bridesmaids helped her to the bathroom to clean it up, and of course it just smeared. Luckily she was able to laugh this one off. Okay, that's good. Good. Okay. 

Lisa P: That's 

Christa Innis: a win. Yeah. The next day we saw the couple at brunch before they left for their honeymoon. The only thing the bride could say about the wedding was that she still couldn't believe that we let people eat before they arrived.

 She said it on repeat even after we explained the situation and we even had to remind her of the good parts. We actually stayed friends after that until I broke up with a boyfriend who I only dated for about 10 months, and she had only known for about five. He must have said something wild about me because she texted me saying she was worried about me.

I explained why I broke up with him. He was manipulative, verbally, abusive, narcissistic, and basically never heard from her again after that. Whoa. Interesting. Whoa. 

Lisa P:  that was a wild ending to like, this girl stuck it out for this wedding. Like that she was doing her best to make this day happen.

I know. And after all that, to just get a friend broken up with Yeah. I mean, the ex-boyfriend must have said something really heinous. 

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. 

Lisa P: feel like you should corroborate that. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. I would feel like. if any of my friends, if their boyfriend or partner came to me and said something, I'd be like, yeah, I'm gonna trust my friend over you.

Yeah. I'm gonna 

Lisa P: double check on that. I'm 

Christa Innis: gonna, we're 

Lisa P: gonna have a 

Christa Innis: talk. Yeah. so she just ends with, last I saw she and her husband are still married with kids and seem happy, at least from what I can tell on Facebook. So, um, 

Lisa P: well, thank goodness I feel like the older generation always says the worse the wedding, the better the marriage.

Or at least that's, I think what they say like. To make people feel better about things like that. Yeah, that honestly, I feel like these things didn't happen to this couple. I feel like this couple thought they could plan a wedding and could not, like, could not plan a wedding and realized way too late.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I find because of the weddings I've been a part of, I find there's a lot of times where people just. as nicely as I can put it. They live in fairytale Land, so they like see a movie and they're like, oh, that looks beautiful. But they don't realize there's all these people behind the scenes that make it possible.

So they have all these wishes or like desires for things to happen, they think it'll just happen on that day. They don't realize like, okay, well if you want catering, then you need to have. Someone to set it up or you need a kitchen, or if you want your bridesmaids to wear these dresses, you need like an aisle for them to walk down or you need, you know, like they don't think of all the things it takes.

Pay attention to detail, which 

Lisa P: is why there are wedding planners. 

Christa Innis: Yes. 

Lisa P: Sometimes people can't do that and you need someone help you. And again, like we only had a day of wedding planners, so I did a lot of the planning myself, but I feel like I had. I had a lot of friend vendors, so like that helped out.

But also just I don't know, have you never thrown a party? Like there's certain things, you know, alcohol, food, logistics, schedule I do that when I throw my kids' birthday party. You know what I mean? It's the same skill. Yeah, you still gotta feed people, you've gotta make sure people can get there.

 probably wanna set up ahead of time. These are like pretty standard. Yeah. For hosting anything, not just a wedding. And a wedding is like 10 times more intense. 

Christa Innis: Oh yeah. I know. My husband always laughs at me. 'cause like even for our daughter's party, like birthday parties, which are like two, three hours max.

I like write out a whole timeline. I'm like, okay, food arrives at this time. People arrive at this time. I have to visualize. Oh I'm, it's funny, I'm like type A when it comes to like planning stuff like that, but like I see type A like mom videos and I'm like, I don't think I'm a type A mom. I think I'm a type A like planner.

I don't even know if that makes sense. But 

Lisa P: I have some of that too. I feel like when it comes down to making sure things like kind of run smoothly, I can be very hands-on. I don't make a timeline, so like I feel like that's, that might be my next step over the top might be my next step. Yeah, like I love hosting, I love cooking and like cooking very much is about timing and execution.

So like that sort of skill, my biggest pet peeve is when I'm like finished cooking and I've timed everything and I've told people like when food's gonna be ready? And then they're like, absent mindedly, like mingling or something. I'm like, no, no, no. The food is hot and ready. Like right now. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. This is the now time.

Right now. This is even time 

Lisa P: we must sell now. 

Christa Innis: Yeah, no, for sure. I feel like those definitely all those things, I feel like we said like, have you hosted or whatever, I think there are a lot of brides that this is their first time, like really like hosting something. You should not be 

Lisa P: doing 

Christa Innis: it on your own.

Yeah, 

Lisa P: if it's your never hosting anything, you've never done like a holiday party or you've never hosted your friend's birthday party. Mm-hmm. Don't try with the wedding, the wedding's not the time to like take a stab. 

Christa Innis: I know, I think that's when it gets so stressful. I was the same with you where I, as you were, I I pretty much planned it, but like our wedding venue had a day of coordinator people don't realize how helpful that is because that person's gonna like do the behind the scenes, running around, making sure things are where they need to be.

And I've done that for a few weddings now and that I love doing it because I'm like. You tell me what to do. You tell me what needs to be done, I'll make sure it's done. Don't get dirty. I will do that 

Lisa P: if you want to. And like back to what we were saying before with, I wish I had been a guest at my wedding.

If I had also been like running around coordinating the staff and the vendors the drop offs and the pickups, you're not having any fun like You're not having any good of a time at all because you're so stressed about the comings and goings and there's so much that goes into. Getting everybody where they need to be at the right time.

and getting everything to execute. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Lisa P: I am like a huge proponent of, even if you don't do a planner for like the whole wedding prep. The whole wedding planning, definitely a day of yeah. But that you're like engagement gift right? From your parents or your in-laws or something. A day of coordinator.

Christa Innis: Yeah, just someone to like ease a little bit of the stress because you don't wanna just like randomly like. Task people with it that day. 'cause they're not gonna be thinking about it. And it's just, yeah, there's random things that just pop up. For sure. 

Lisa P: They really are. 

Christa Innis: All right, well, that was a crazy story.

All right,always like to end these with weekly confessions, so people send me confessions kinda related to event or weddings, on social media. So let's see here. This first one says, I absolutely hate the girl that my sister-in-law loves.

It makes me hate seeing my sister-in-law, too. Oh, 

Lisa P: well hopefully that doesn't last long. 

Christa Innis: I don't know. Yeah, that's tough. 'cause you can only do something much when it's, a sister-in-law. I'm guessing it's like your. Partner's sister? I would guess so. You probably can't. 

Lisa P: That's what I assumed.

Christa Innis: I assumed it was like your partner's, sister's girlfriend that we were going with. That's what I would get. 

Lisa P: Yeah. Yeah. And like you usually button your mouth until you have to not button your mouth on that one. 

Christa Innis: Yeah, yeah. Wait till they say something to you and they ask for your opinion, or something happens and you can be like, well, here's what I think.

Until then, you gotta let it work itself out. Otherwise you'll be the villain. Oh, absolutely. Yep. this says I had to uninvite half of my friends to make room for my mother-in-law's tennis buddies. No. What? Whose wedding is it? 

Lisa P: Oh my God. I call it they're gonna stop talking to the mother-in-law like five years down the road.

Yeah. Like altogether. No way. That's insane. 

Christa Innis: That sounds like, and I'm obviously reading between the lines, but that sounds like a mother-in-law that was maybe paying for part of it or something, and she used that as a way to like control the wedding because I see the make room like you had to, who said 

Lisa P: you had to.

Yeah, that's definitely, that's a manipulation like that. Mm. I don't love that. I don't either. I feel like is probably gonna go bye-bye for a little while. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. we need to say no. Set some boundaries with that mother-in-law. okay. This last one says, I joked I wanted pockets on my wedding dress for getaway money.

Deep down, I think I knew it was true. Oh. The number of times people have confessed to me like, I had a feeling, before the wedding. I told my dad I didn't wanna get married before the wedding, and I still did. I've gotten so many of those. 

Lisa P: I had a 

Christa Innis: friend do that to me. Really? 

Lisa P: Yes. I knew before they got married that she did not really want to start all over is like how she kind of put it.

I don't know. I took that to my grave. We don't really speak anymore, and that is not my business. And they're still married, so sometimes 

Christa Innis: it works out. Oh, see, I was gonna say the opposite happened to me. and I've talked about this before, but I was in a wedding years ago and every wedding event there was some kind of thing, and it was with him, every kind of thing.

And she like cried in the car after the bachelorette party. She cried in the car. Oh, yeah. After the rehearsal. All these different things. And I was just like. Hey, should we rethink this? Oh, I, we already paid the vendors. I'm like, yeah, but divorce is way more expensive. 

Lisa P: Oh God no. Yeah, no.

If there's a doubt in your mind on the person, I feel like I. You've gotta cut and run. getting divorced is so much more traumatic. It's so much more expensive. God forbid you like, have a bunch of kids. no. If it's not right this is why, uh, so on my page I talk a lot about, and I'm very happily married, that like marriage should not be this like.

Default standard that people are trying to hit. Because when you get 12 years in a marriage and you're, you know, most people my age got married somewhere around the same time I did. You see a lot of divorces by now. Okay. We're starting to have that first round of divorce A is coming through and it's like, God, what a wait.

Not a lot of waste because like a lot of them have children and that's like the wonderful thing that came out of it. But you don't have to get married You could end up really miserable like in so many ways. And that's like, it's just not something that, if you can in any way, imagine your life without that person, not without a spouse, but without that specific person.

Don't do it. Right, a hundred percent. Especially if you're a woman. 

Christa Innis: Oh yeah, totally. And I always have this too, like I've been with my husband, I think we're going on 11 years this year. But we've been married three. And so like for us it I totally agree with you what you just said about like, you don't have to get married, you don't have to follow a certain timeline.

So many people were constantly like, when are you getting married? When are you getting married? And I was like, we do things on our own timeline and I just feel like. So many people have their own expectations on everyone else, and especially as women, I feel like we have the expectations of like, okay, I need to do this, then I need to get married.

I need to have a baby. you feel like you have to follow this timeline. 

Lisa P: Yeah. And it feels like a rushed timeline at the moment. and I feel pre to that too. I was like, oh, I wanna have two by 30 and like I did, but. now looking back at it, I'm like, you idiot. you should have just been like, find the right person and then figure it out.

Like 

Christa Innis: Yeah, I know. I remember like, if it were just like my then boyfriend, but husband and I, doing our own thing.we'd be like totally fine and then someone would like bring up like, oh, are you guys gonna get married? And I would be like, do I wait? Are we doing something wrong?

And like, it almost puts us like, not guilt, but this feeling of you of like. Wait, are we doing something wrong? Is our relationship, because we're just dating right now, is that wrong? And you start getting this like, no, because half 

Lisa P: of the men in divorces anyway, so like, you know what I mean? Yeah.

Marriage isn't the great indicator of like lifelong companionship anymore. Mm-hmm. Um, well, and like 

Christa Innis: too our, like our parents' generation, I feel like they were so committed to like marriage that like they stayed. unhappily married for so long without actually like admitting like, I actually hate this.

Oh, they wrong 

Lisa P: gold stars for it too. They're like, we've been married 35 years. I hate Jeff, but he lives in the other bedroom,  but we've been married this long. And I'm like, but why? What kind of award are you winning here? Like, I know some people have the whole like, divorce is a sin thing, but like you're already in hell.

So. Yeah. Yeah. I don't see the point in that like a relationship should only be there to enhance your already wonderful life. And if it doesn't do that, then it's not worth it. And kind of feel the same way about kids too. I feel like the relationships that I see with people who don't have kids by choice, obviously there's like.

People who have extenuating circumstances where they can't have children, but people who choose not to have kids, I feel like they have this like gift of time to like really find their perfect partner. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Lisa P: they usually choose better. 

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Like. 

Lisa P: They get to choose somebody that they truly just wanna spend all their time with, as opposed to people who do the musical chairs type of marriage, where they're like, well, it's been three years since college.

Like, I guess you're the guy. 

Christa Innis: Yes. 

Lisa P: Yeah. Yeah. I guess you're the person I'm with right now. So musical chairs, let's do it. Like, let's get married. Timelines are ticking, I feel like it kind of saddles us down. Um, oh yeah. In a. 

Christa Innis: Yeah, that's definitely another thing with, as women we're like told that the biological clock is ticking, you need to have kids hurry up.

My husband and I since like year, one of dating, when are you guys gonna have kids? And I was like, I'm not even thinking about kids. Or what are you talking about? and I like look back and I'm like, if I had kids when we had started dating, I was like, I would've been a completely different.

Ma Um, I would've been in completely different financial point in my life and I and not saying that's right or wrong, I'm just saying everyone's timeline is different. ' cause I know people had kids at in their early twenties and they are thriving and they were meant to be moms at that point.

But I just feel like it's so important to like listen to your own timeline. ' cause I have friends now that are like, 

Lisa P: this new generation is doing a lot better than like we were as millennials. Yeah. I feel like the younger girls are like, really? Coming to the table with the head on the shoulders a little bit more without like the fairytale movie, prince Princess aspect that we were kind of sold.

Christa Innis: Yes. I love that. Yeah. I've noticed like the shift in the movies, especially with my daughter being she's two and I feel like. The movies have shifted. Obviously there's still the fairytale, but I'm like, let's watch Moana because she's like brave and you know, or Meredith, she doesn't need a man. You know, I try to like show her some different things because of course we still love the classics, but it's good to kind of open the horizons up a little bit.

Lisa P: Yeah, definitely. I mean, she still like, very much knows she wants to get married and have kids like I knew from a young age. So I don't like balk at that. some people just like really have that desire. but she still is like, well maybe I'll be president and a dance teacher.

And I'm like, you go, you do both. I love that. Yes, you both. 

Christa Innis: Stop you, girl. I love that. Yeah. Yes. Well, thank you so much for coming on. This was such a good discussion and I feel like it was good to kind of like just talk about obviously the pressures on women and Bridezillas and there's just a lot of cool things we talked about, so thank you for coming.

Yeah, I loved it. 

Lisa P: This is such a fun topic. I'm sure you get so entertained hearing all these stories, so that was so fun. 

Christa Innis: Yeah, they never cease to, surprise or amaze me. it's always something new. I bet. Yeah. Well, for anyone listening, where can everyone follow you, find more of your content and anything exciting that you wanna share?

Lisa P: Yeah. Um, you can find me on mostly TikTok and Instagram. My handle is, it's me, Lisa PI like to say I talk about hard topics in cute outfits. and that covers relationships and marriage and parenting and boundaries and setting boundaries once you have kids, which I feel like once you get past the bride phase, coming next.

Um, and you can find me there. and. I would like to say I have something big in the works coming, but I don't because I homeschool my kids and this is what we're doing. That is big 

Christa Innis: in itself like mom and is a full-time job. 

Lisa P: Yeah. I wear a lot of hats, that's for sure. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh.

Awesome. Well, thank you so much. Thank you 

Lisa P: very much. Have a good one.

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