What Does the Bible Say About Setting Boundaries?

The staff dream about fresh coffee and hot donuts, recap a VERY busy weekend at Liberty, and what the Bible says about the importance of setting healthy boundaries.

Transcript

SPEAKER_05 0:05

Welcome to laugh at Liberty And that's a people. From Liberty Baptist Church. You can never get that much enthusiasm out of me unless uh unless you just found like the rarest Ethiopian coffee and were like, here's just deluding.

SPEAKER_00 0:29

Okay, did they do superlatives at your high school?

SPEAKER_05 0:31

Uh I think so, but I don't know what you were like. I did good just to graduate. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 0:38

I was just thinking, is it like enthusiastic?

SPEAKER_02 0:41

So so just sidebar. Yeah. Why? So I'm going to Africa in June. Yes. Are you going to bring back coffee? Zambian coffee. Are you allowed? Like I'm going to South Africa. I still have some quacha you gave me last year. How come Austin got a present? So I'm I'm I'm gonna get so I'm I'm going to South Africa. Yeah, if you have some South African coffee that you would like. I will research. Love it. And then I will be in Livingston as the city.

SPEAKER_00 1:14

Livingston. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:15

And so there's really good coffee there. I've had it.

SPEAKER_00 1:18

Just like is it a lot stronger than ours? Like, is it like a pick-me-up?

SPEAKER_02 1:24

Just a lot fresher.

SPEAKER_03 1:25

It's uh it's like they they they grind it there, like it's all the it's not like best coffee I ever had was when I did study abroad in Costa Rica and we visited like a little um coffee plantation and it was a local. They picked it there and they roasted it there, and then they gave us coffee, and I was like, Yes, baby.

SPEAKER_05 1:44

I've driven through the mountains of Nicaragua where they grow Nicaraguan coffee, and it's really neat to see. And it is it's it's a different experience when you have it right there, and it's just from the farm to not very far.

SPEAKER_02 1:56

When it's right now, you get it right now, it's different. It's that's like so. Let me tell you what it's like. So it's like going to uh crispy cream and just the hot sign on, and man, it's just a comparison you draw. It's like it's coming off the line, and they pick it up with a little stick and they put it in your thing. They just throw it in your mouth. Yeah, and then it's just like yes, never been tempered to have third degree burning. You can never, you can never taste it. Like, I would never make it at the Little Debbie factory cooking little Debbie's factory.

SPEAKER_05 2:30

My dad's an engineer at McKee. Oh, that's cool.

SPEAKER_02 2:32

Yeah. Oh good analogy.

SPEAKER_05 2:35

I'm I'm there, I'm with you. Man, I didn't expect us to talk about my one of my favorite things for like two minutes.

SPEAKER_00 2:42

Hey, keep it. That's gold.

SPEAKER_05 2:43

That's what happens when you print. I'm not deleting this. This is the this is the Wednesday afternoon special edition, whatever our brains are doing on Wednesday.

SPEAKER_02 2:52

This is what you get with no boundaries. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Which we are gonna talk about later in this episode.

SPEAKER_05 2:57

Yeah, when you great example, way to drive home the point. When you have no boundaries or no uh no guidelines will say anything can happen. So that's why it's important. Yeah. Fortunately, we talked about something that was Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:11

Well, you you may end up at Krispy Kreme with the hot sign on. Who knows? Today's episode is brought to you by me. Krispy Kreme and the hot sign.

SPEAKER_00 3:18

See, I thought you were gonna go with like back home, Austin, you're good. Let's just go with it.

SPEAKER_03 3:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:22

Because back home, we get really excited because you can go fishing, and then if you'll take it to some of the restaurants, you can literally go straight from the boat. If you clean it, then they'll cook it and it's right there. And that's why I won't eat fish here. Yeah, I was thinking You're welcome.

SPEAKER_03 3:36

Flashback to the when the grocery store had the lobster tank. Oh, good. Walmart. Yeah. And they had the rubber bands.

SPEAKER_00 3:44

Well, what's happening at Liberty?

SPEAKER_05 3:45

Well, let's get to some stuff that I actually had written down to talk about. Yeah. We had a lot of stuff happen this past weekend. Scott, you said we had 94 people at the prayer meeting uh Sunday night. And it was amazing.

SPEAKER_02 3:57

So I I think I think it's, you know, you know, several years ago we um Brian went on sabbatical and came back and and God just told him to lead our church to pray. And man, we've been faithful to do that. And along the way, there have been several things that God has said, hey, I want you to do this. And so now we're we're seeing the fruit of those things that we've done. And so we're at this place where we're we're asking God, okay, God, what do you want to do next? And so that was kind of the main theme of what we were doing. God, here we are. You've you've told us to pray, you've taught us to pray. Now, what do we do with what you've given us and where do we go next? That's an exciting place to be in.

SPEAKER_05 4:37

Yeah, it's a great place to be going. It is a it's a mystery from this point, but man, what an exciting mystery to be able to pray into. I mean, to to like you said, to know that the church has been faithful to do to do the thing that God has told us to do. So he's obviously he does have a next step.

SPEAKER_00 4:51

We just have to And it was cool too because we got to listen and and share what has transpired from those uh times together as a community and how that coming together in prayer has really been life-changing for even everybody at this table. And so I think that was really cool to be able to hear some of those stories about look what the Lord has done.

SPEAKER_02 5:18

Yeah, it's it's a beautiful thing when you get to hear what God is doing in the body of the church, not just just like individual people when God is doing things. It's it's amazing to hear God is working in this person's life, God is working this person's life.

SPEAKER_03 5:30

I'm not a I'm not like a super emotional person or anything, but I I feel like every other prayer meeting, like I'm getting all choked up just thinking about how good God is and how when when you started talking about um my brother, uh, shout out Matt, one year chip, woo-woo, uh celebrate recovery. But um, when when you started talking about the conversation we had where uh and you said I had lost hope, and boy, it boy it hit me right in the chest because I didn't I was I got all choked up, but then started thinking about how even even when I had lost hope that God was faithful and done exceedingly abundantly more than I could ask or think, Ephesians 3.20, man, and just seeing seeing God do that stuff. Prayer meetings are not just to fill Sunday nights up, like that's yeah, that's that's not just another thing on the calendar.

SPEAKER_05 6:12

I mean, it's really it's a special time to to come together and really seek the Lord for direction and really give him praise and thanks for you know, we we ask him to do this this month, and then sometimes it's the very next month, sometimes it's a year later, but we we always have the opportunity to come together and see what the Lord has done and praise him for it. And then, like I said, you know, pray into what what does God want to do next? What do we need him to do next? Another cool thing that we had Sunday night with uh was we had some students lead worship and they they've been practicing really hard. Uh they let it spring place at the spring the spring fling, can't say that, uh quick. The spring fling event at Spring Place, and they uh they did a great job um blessing the community with some worship songs and uh right before you preach the gospel. And they kind of took some of that practice and and put it to work at the prayer meeting and and uh it was nice to hear them. Yeah, so much maturity and development in our in our uh youth praise team. And man, I'm just so proud of them. So I was really grateful that they stepped up and and said yes, even if it was a little bit reluctantly when I started kind of trying to plant the idea a couple couple months ago, like, hey, what would y'all think about that?

SPEAKER_04 7:26

For sure.

SPEAKER_03 7:27

I've been spoiled with with great great students, talented students. And uh it's cool to see what God's been doing just in the um sometimes it feels like I've been here my whole life, sometimes it's feels like uh it's still just been a short while, but just to start seeing some of the buds and the fruit and and things developing and flourishing that that started uh even before I got here. Um, you know, and um it's beautiful, it's cool.

SPEAKER_00 7:51

Yeah, but you just brought up something interesting when you're talking about, you know, they were afraid and a little reluctant. And that's one reason even for BBS this year that we're talking about phobia island, um, like it's a silly name, but but it's a real thing. And what we're hearing consistently is how many kids, teens, adults, families are really controlled with fear right now. And it's going, and this even goes back to the parameting, how much more can God move when we move our fear to yes? And so, um, so that's really that connection piece for Phobia Island this year is what does it look like when we flip our fear to faith and say yes because it requires us being a little uncomfortable, inconvenienced, but at the same time, God works and he is faithful. And so I just love that everything is kind of threading together.

SPEAKER_05 8:44

But um so speaking of BBS, that's coming up and and you still have some needs to be doing.

SPEAKER_00 8:49

I do. Well, okay, here's the win. We have over 90 volunteers in three weeks. And so y'all, we are inviting, we need two more helpers, not lead teachers. I've already got leads in our two to three year old environment. And um, this class is going to be, I mean, they've got a full packed week. This is not just coming in and watching them while everybody else is participating. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. You got a full week. And so it's Monday through Wednesday because Thursday night is our family night. And I actually have uh our friends from Mount Rachel coming back to help us out. They were here helping us out when we did uh the Blackabee conference. So they're coming back so that our families can praise and worship together on family night. But um, we just need two, are you those two? Two more friends to love and lead our two and three-year-old environment along with Jordan Dowthit. Shout out. Um, and it's it's gonna be an awesome week. I'm really looking forward to it.

SPEAKER_03 9:54

I'm believing that you're gonna get those two this week.

SPEAKER_00 9:56

I think so too.

SPEAKER_03 9:58

It's Sunday, Sunday through Wednesday, right?

SPEAKER_00 10:00

Sunday through Wednesday, and then Thursday night is family night where all of us are gonna try to get off the island together, Gilligan Island style.

SPEAKER_05 10:08

Nice. So it'll be fun. So for the adults, we also have the Bible boot camp going on that week. Yeah, and uh so I really encourage you to be part of that. Um if you can. We're gonna try to also record those messages and and make those uh those teachings available. But be there in the moment when it's actually happening, because there's nothing like that. Absolutely. Um we had the golf tournament this week. So we have the the makeup date. We didn't have it the original date, but yeah, you finally did get to get out there and golf despite the wind and uh and yeah, it was a little chilly.

SPEAKER_02 10:38

Yeah. Um but the sun came out, man. We had a great tournament. We had 18 teams show up. Nice. Man, we raised we raised $19,178.81 after we after we paid for everything. That's incredible, Scott. Um the Lord really is blessed and shown out. And uh, man, I'm so grateful for everybody at this church that donates, that believes in the program, that uh believes in what we do and uh the lives that are being changed. It works. Only only when we get to eternity will we know the impact that we've made. Amen. Yeah, that's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 11:15

One thing that I heard that I did not know, and I've shared this with Scott about the golf tournament, is that you actually play the par three with them.

unknown 11:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:22

Is that what it's called? Yeah. Okay, see, I'm really trying to learn my my lingo.

SPEAKER_05 11:26

You're doing better than me. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 11:27

I had to learn that from Danny. But I think that is so cool that you play a hole with every single group that comes through so you can talk with them, get to know them, even maybe pray with them. But I didn't know that that because like from my perspective, I'm just running when I'm doing events, and so the fact that you are intentionally that I just thought that was so cool.

SPEAKER_03 11:48

Yeah, not trying, not the part three where you're trying to get the hole in one to win the the truck or the whatever it was. That was awesome. No, no, nobody got the hole in one. We were gonna do the hole in one problem. I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_00 12:00

Did anybody even come close?

SPEAKER_02 12:02

So Shannon Amos. On the look, on the hole that I was playing with everybody on, he hits the flag stick. No, so so that's great. Great shot. Great shot.

SPEAKER_00 12:16

He was in a tournament yesterday, too. So he's man, that's awesome. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_05 12:22

I know who not to play against if I ever get to play golf. He's good. Well, that's that's good to know. Uh, let's see. So what else? This past Sunday we had kindergarten graduation, which was super cute. I was really really proud of every everyone for talking on the mic and at least being my my favorite one. I can't remember um which little boy it was, but he he said he wanted to be a teacher. And this you just gotta love the brutality. Oh, Carson, yeah, of course. Like Melissa asked him, What do you want to be when you grow up? And he said, A teacher. And then she said, Do you know what subject? Long pause. And if you know, in my 31-year-old brain, I'm just gonna say something because like, yeah, but you gotta love kids, man. They're just so honest. He's like, No. When she asked him what subject he wanted to teach, it's like, man, I wish I could be that honest. Nope. Just uh let your yes be yes and your no be no.

SPEAKER_03 13:12

Well in kindergarten, they I mean they they got the same teacher probably teaching most of their stuff anyway. So it's probably like yeah, it was awesome.

SPEAKER_02 13:17

All of them, maybe all of them. I that's that's probably I I always love that service because you never know what the kids are gonna say. Exactly. That is that is the beauty of, and I'm just like, yes, that's exciting.

SPEAKER_00 13:31

And Caroline got baptized, so we had a sister in kindergarten, and then we had Caroline baptized, so that was really cool for the Harrison family. Yeah. Two other girls.

SPEAKER_02 13:38

She she was so excited. So I was I was taking it, we were walking back together, and she goes, Is it communion? And I said, Yeah. She said, This is the first time I get to take it with my family. That's amazing. Yeah, that's so cool.

SPEAKER_05 13:51

Just to at that age, to understand the power and the significance and get to do that. Um, Rusty also did a good job today. It was it was nice to hear him uh speak. And um, obviously, Brian was out of town because Kylie was getting married. Yay, congratulations, Kylie and Micah. Uh congratulations uh to Kylie and Micah. And man, that's a lot of stuff that just happened. A lot of stuff recap. Way to go, Liberty. Yeah, we are we are in May, May December as well. Feeling that.

SPEAKER_00 14:18

And it's only like what, May 6th?

SPEAKER_05 14:20

I think so.

SPEAKER_00 14:21

Hardcore. Okay. We got a lot. We get to have graduation Sunday coming up. We are having baby dedication this week, Mother's Day this week. I feel like there's so much more going on.

SPEAKER_05 14:32

But for me, personally, we do have our anniversary and then later this month, and then Val's birthday is this month.

SPEAKER_00 14:39

So also has birthdays.

SPEAKER_05 14:41

Yeah, let's get to that. Let's talk about perfect segue. That was either happy early birthday, Val. We talked about all of it. Uh, yeah. So we will mention her again probably later. Uh well, I don't know if we'll have a podcast episode the week that Val has her birthday subject. Next week.

SPEAKER_00 14:56

We'll just announce every single summer birthday next week.

SPEAKER_05 14:59

But for now, this week's birthdays are Peyton Smith on May 6th. Today, happy birthday. Wells, uh, May 7th. Tracy Levain, May 8th, Pat Denson and Kyle Brock also May 8th. Uh David Crow, May 10th. April Pilcher, May 11th. Destiny Standridge, May 11th, and our anniversary this week is Mitch and Donna Merritt, and that's May 8th.

SPEAKER_04 15:21

Yay!

SPEAKER_05 15:21

So, yeah, we we will have a lot of birthdays to forecast since the podcast only goes a couple more episodes.

SPEAKER_04 15:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 15:28

Um, so yeah. Lots of lots of things to celebrate. What about uh before we kick it over to our topic today? I think you got some softball news for us, maybe.

SPEAKER_03 15:37

Oh yeah, oh I yes I do. Um we played played doubleheader uh this past Monday. Uh won the first one, came back and it was good. Um, and then lost the second one. Um, and then our tournament is next week. So uh if anybody didn't get a chance to watch any softball games, we uh we appreciate the fans. Usually it's um usually it's Leanne and Zoe and then some other wives. And uh we had um Lauren Chandler this time, so it was cool. Felt nice, felt popular. But that was good stuff.

SPEAKER_05 16:07

So uh so you're kind of earning a reputation though in some home runs though. Have you got a nickname?

SPEAKER_03 16:11

I wasn't even going no, but I have been wearing uh like fly the fly, yeah, like a lucky jersey or something like that that you've been. No. Okay. I'll t honestly, I'll tell you what it is. Uh shout out to the church fam. So two things. Uh Asa Smith, uh he crushed one uh one week when I wasn't there, and I was like, How'd you do it, man? What's the secret sauce? And he said, I was standing too far forward in the box. He said, I went to the back of the box, killed it. I said, All right, check. And then Danny, appreciate you. Shout out, Danny. Um, he said, Hey, whenever they pitch it, you're you're dropping your hands. He he said, You're standing there good, but when they pitch, you drop your hands like you want to crush it. He said, Don't drop your hands. I said, All right, so I stepped back in the box, didn't drop my hands, and the last three games, I think I've hit three home runs.

SPEAKER_00 16:54

And so was Zoe just like so excited.

SPEAKER_03 16:56

Uh she was probably reading a book.

SPEAKER_00 16:57

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03 16:59

You know.

SPEAKER_00 17:00

Hey, speaking of uh not Zoe reading books, one thing we didn't say is the youth are also crushing it doing the flamingo fundraiser.

SPEAKER_04 17:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:08

I've been seeing a lot of pictures pop up on Facebook, but what's been really cool is the people in the congregation getting super excited about it too.

SPEAKER_05 17:17

It makes people feel seen and and loved and valued.

SPEAKER_03 17:19

And they've been very gracious and kind. So just uh appreciate you to all the uh all the folks who who let us um put flamingos in your yard and be in a good sport about that, but also sharing the word and um and you know, we've got a thing on there where they scan the code, it'll they can move the flock to someone else's house, which is cool, and give a donation if they want to, cool. Um but we also uh have a spot in there that asks how we can pray for them. And people have just been it's it's been much more of a blessing and a and a tool for just fellowship and ministry than I than I realized.

SPEAKER_00 17:50

So how much longer is that fundraiser going?

SPEAKER_03 17:52

Going going through May. So through May, okay, so it's not too late. No, June the third is our deadline to sign up for camp. And so trying to get uh kids and students to um raise as much money as possible because I don't want them to pay or whatever they don't have to pay for camp. So I love that.

SPEAKER_00 18:07

That's so cool.

SPEAKER_05 18:08

All right, so hey, we got a really good question um to talk about today. It's uh someone asked us what does the Bible say about setting boundaries? And I would say the Bible says a lot about setting boundaries, and there are all kinds of boundaries um for different purposes. There are you know physical boundaries, there are spiritual boundaries, relational boundaries, all kinds of things that you can find throughout scripture. Um but you know, one thing that I think we have to look at before we even really dive headfirst into this is what is the purpose of having a boundary of any kind? And and I and I would say that boundaries are really a tool for us to be able to succeed healthily in relationships with with God and with with each other. I know we've all got a lot of different uh great perspectives in it, and it we're not gonna cover it all in this episode. This is really like a it could be a three or four parter breaking down the different types. You had to set a boundary of how far. I did have to set a boundary for how far we can and can't go with with this topic. So I get I get overwhelmed thinking about it. Um but I'm gonna try to stay within my boundaries here.

SPEAKER_02 19:15

Yeah. It's uh it's one of those things where man, Christ had boundaries, right? And and man, he he would take time to withdraw from crowds and and and not to say that those the people that he withdrew from weren't important, but man, the time that he spent with the father was much more important. Man, Jesus had all power to raise the dead, heal the sick, cleanse the leopard. Uh I mean, he had all of that stuff, and yet he still chose to guard that boundary of the time that he had with the father. And man, if you woke up with that kind of power, would you feel the need to pray? Would you feel the need to have any kind of boundaries? And man, if Jesus felt the need to have boundaries to pull away to be with the Father, man, what you and I should even have, we should even more pull away and have boundaries to protect ourselves from from just things that the enemy wants to set up and trap us with.

SPEAKER_03 20:15

I think that Jesus shows the value of boundaries in that and that it's not just about setting a boundary, but um, I think you hit it right there when you said he it's not like the people he was ministering to weren't important. I mean, he's the most important mission that's ever happened is when he stepped out of glory and and came down to seek and save the lost, but he he put so much value on his time with the Father and on prayer and on you know maintaining that relationship with the Father that he set boundaries even when the schedule was crazy and busy and people had needs and that was good stuff.

SPEAKER_00 20:49

This might be a later question, but I do have one. I'd just love perspective on it. So if Christ modeled it for us, why do we feel so guilty of setting boundaries?

SPEAKER_05 21:00

Yeah, I I think that is so much um that so much speaks into our human nature. I mean, obviously Christ had a a hundred percent divine nature and he also was a hundred percent human at the same time. But like we have the hundred percent human perspective and uh and I I think just culture teaches us so much and a lot of times we allow culture to influence the way that we go about our spiritual boundaries and our spiritual practices and disciplines instead of it letting you know it being the other way around. And and uh and I I think the church and church culture is is certainly not immune to being guilty of being informed by that in the wrong way. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_00 21:47

Yeah, for sure. I think even with church I was thinking about this earlier, we are quick to say yes but then I have to step back and go, Okay, but I'm saying yes to another Thing, even if I don't have the time or I'm I don't even have the emotional bandwidth, what am I saying no to? And most of the time I'm saying yes to this, but no to getting poured into or personal time with Christ. And that's what I crave. And that's what you're just saying that Jesus did. It's like he said his yes, he served, he was obedient. But then he also had to say his no and withdraw. And it wasn't to be ugly or mean or people feel guilty about it. It was to say, hey, the best way I can do the next um ministry opportunity is if I'm loving you out of being on not on empty. I think a lot of us turn to obligation instead of obedience. And so that's really the fine line of boundaries.

SPEAKER_02 22:49

Well, and and boundaries protect what God has entrusted to us, right? Like the ministry, my family, my children, like all of the things that got my money, my time, all of those things that God has given me, boundaries. Like if I don't have the correct boundaries and I don't spend the time with the Father, I'll give myself to things that's not in God's will. And man, I will I will be so worn out and so beat down because I'm doing things that that are not God's will for my life, all because I've not set the boundaries to protect those things in my life to where God is where I spend time with the Father and say, God, is this your will? Do you want me to be involved in this? Do you want me doing this? Is this healthy for me? Is this all of those things? Yeah, I mean, you could go a million ways with it, but but man, that that's the most important thing is knowing what God's will is for you. And and and allowing, man, those boundaries to protect you, to keep you from because even when Jesus was tempted, he he Satan told Jesus, he said, all authority. Like I'll give you all of this, right? I'll I'll give you everything. Right? So so Jesus, I mean, Satan had the authority to give you certain give certain things. Yeah. And so like Satan can put something in front of you and say, here, here, here this is, but it's it's gonna rob you of time with your children, it's gonna rob you uh from church, it's gonna like all of those things that it looks good in appearance, but without the right boundary and spending time with God, man, it just flat out robs. And I I think that we fill our lives so full of good things that they rob us of the great things that God has for us.

SPEAKER_03 24:41

I think the the two the two themes I hear from y'all that I think are great nuggets of wisdom is that boundaries involve value and love and and you you create those boundaries or establish those boundaries or reinforce those boundaries because you value things like time with the Lord or time with your family or um or knowing God's will for your life. Colossians 1, when he was talking about that, that been praying for you to to know God's will and things, um, and love and boundaries don't always seem loving, especially if you're setting a boundary with someone that you that you care about. But when you were talking about Jesus setting those boundaries, Jesus is the most loving person that's ever walked the face of the earth. He embodied love, God is love, right? But he set boundaries, and so even if they don't seem loving, you you said something about um the best way that I can love you uh or or do the next God thing or ministry opportunity that God wants me to do is by setting this boundary. And so that's what I keep hearing is is value and love in those boundaries.

SPEAKER_02 25:46

Well we have to be honest about our limits, right? Like I can I I can pull up by my bootstraps and say, I've got this. I can keep I can keep going. I can and the Lord's nowhere in that, right? And and the thing is, is that you you wonder why people won't serve, you wonder why people won't be involved, you wonder why people you can't get people to do things, is because man, they've they've not guarded that time, they've not set those boundaries in place, and they've added they've added all these things to their life, and then they've added Jesus to it. And Jesus isn't something that you add to your life, he is your life, and everything else around it it overflows out of that, right? So my time with the Lord flows into how I spend time with my children, how I speak to my wife, how I s how I minister to people, it becomes the overflow, yeah, right?

SPEAKER_05 26:43

Yeah, you can't just sanctify the chaos and say you know all this stuff that stresses me out and stresses the people out around me that I love in Jesus' name, and and just expect it to be fine, you know. And so I I think looking at scripture and especially looking at why Jesus set the boundaries that he did is I mean, a few things protecting his time with God in prayer. I mean, that was his number one priority, is his his relationship with the Father. And we need to, like you were saying early, earlier, just model that and and let that be the place that our decisions and our boundaries that we set flow from. Um you know, he stayed focused on his purpose and on his mission. And I think we don't ask ourselves enough in life, what what is my purpose and what is my mission and and what am I trying to accomplish in all these things that I'm doing that a lot of times just stress me out to the max to the point that I don't even know why, or maybe I don't have any boundaries anymore.

SPEAKER_03 27:42

Um I think I think you can go back to what what you were saying, uh, and what you're saying is that our our top boundary in the in the order of our boundaries needs to be guarding our our time with the Lord. If that's what Jesus did, if that's the example he set, and above all else, oh right, that makes me think that scripture you just said what was it? Uh Proverbs. I didn't mean to put you on the spot like that. I know you're you're in like Proverbs 4 or something like that. Proverbs 423. It says, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it. And man, is that not what what Jesus did, you know? And to bring prayer back into it, we were talking about how important our prayer meetings and stuff are. Um, I think it's Philippians where he says he's talking about um with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God, and he will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus, right? And so if if guarding our heart is the most important thing, then that shows you the value and importance on prayer, because that's how God says in his word he's gonna guard our hearts and minds is by coming to him with thanksgiving and making our request known to him.

SPEAKER_00 28:48

So I think in a culture where we are taught just to keep moving, I feel like we're in a busy culture. It's not a season. This is now a busy culture. Everything is much more fast-paced. And if you are not keeping up, then you are somehow failing or losing. And I think you know what you said earlier about boundaries, boundaries are for our good.

SPEAKER_04 29:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:12

They are for our good. And if we don't set boundaries for ourselves and remind ourselves that it's for our good, we're basically sacrificing that peace on like the altar of chaos. And for me, I'm going, is setting a boundary is saying no worth sacrificing your peace for chaos because you're saying yes to chaos then instead of yes to peace. And so I just I keep wanting to repeat boundaries are being taught that they're not great in this culture. But boundaries from Christ's perspective are not only necessary, they're for our good. Our father is saying they're for your good.

SPEAKER_05 29:53

Well, there's never been a less emphasis on boundaries, especially like when you sit at home and all you see is everything that everybody has going on on social media.

SPEAKER_00 30:02

You know, spoiler alert, that's their best day. They're not posting their worst day.

SPEAKER_02 30:07

Well, people share all kinds of things now that you never wanted to know.

SPEAKER_00 30:10

Yeah, for real.

SPEAKER_02 30:11

And here's the thing about boundaries too is like if if I don't set certain boundaries, I'm teaching people how to treat me.

SPEAKER_01 30:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:18

I'm teaching people like even boundaries in my own life when it comes to the church. I'll like picking up a piece of paper, not throwing stuff down, like just the boundaries that that I have, like I'm I'm modeling those things as a leader for other people, the way that I talk to people, the way that I treat people. And not only that, is when you don't have the boundaries and you allow people to to talk to you certain ways. I'm teaching this other person how to treat me, right? Especially if it's happened in front of somebody. So to have boundaries in in your relationship, even with your children. Yeah. I mean, that's that's it's important because you're teaching them how to treat somebody else, right? So if you allow them to treat you a certain way, then when when they you're you're you're like if you're the parent and you allow like Levi means nothing to me. I'll treat him however I want to, right? Um, and and it's just it's one of those things where boundaries sets us up to be a safe place, not not only for us, but for the people around us. Um and and so man, boundaries in our relationships are healthy because we're we are modeling what the the fruit of that, right? The fruit of our boundaries, we're modeling that to other people.

SPEAKER_03 31:38

And and even like I said, even when they're good and and when they're loving, nobody really nobody probably likes a boundary set against them, right? You you you tell your child, don't go, you know, play in the middle of the road. They may not like that, but you know that's for their own good. That makes complete sense to you. And it's because you love them, you don't want them to get hit by a car and things like that. But the kid's not gonna love that. If if you set a boundary with someone about how they can speak to you or not, um, and there you have to set boundaries for yourself on how how far you set your boundaries, that makes sense. But like um, Leanne is a very um kind and gentle and passive person sometimes. And earlier in our relationship, there were instances where people talked to her way too sideways, uh and I was not okay with that. And I mean, there's been there have been times where I I've I've literally heard someone yelling at my wife on the phone, and it you know, don't care if it's family, friends, whatever, and had to and say, Yeah, no, we're not gonna do that, you know. And you you have to set those boundaries uh because you love them and because you're protecting things that are important, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:45

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 32:46

And and a lot of times we we we're motivated out of guilt, right? Instead of out of the truth of God's word. And so we say yes to a lot of things just because I feel guilty and and I don't and where I should have put the biblical boundary and and and not not not was not motivated out of the way that I felt.

SPEAKER_03 33:09

I think and I think that's the heart of that question. If I if I heard it right, is what and they asked the right question, yeah. Not not just what kind of boundaries should I say, but what does the Bible say about setting boundaries? And uh it sounded like the heart was because they do want to say yes because they love and want to help. And sometimes you you pour out and you pour out and you pour out, and if you don't set those boundaries, you're so spent uh not just on bad things, even on good things, yeah, but maybe not God things. Um and so yeah, what what does the Bible say?

SPEAKER_00 33:40

When I first got here, um when I was asking for volunteers, one thing that I would say either at the end of an email or a conversation or a text message was, and no is perfectly fine to say. And people would just look at me like what? And I said, You don't understand your no out of obligation is saying that I can't get somebody's yes out of obedience. And I would rather you say no and say it immediately than leave me on red, you know who I'm talking to. No, but or just not respond or because I'm going, I'm waiting for your response when I could be doing that, like so sometimes, and actually most of the time, if your answer is no, say no. Yeah, let that be a boundary for you. It is okay to say no. And I feel like we just don't give ourselves permission anymore.

SPEAKER_03 34:32

I think you said something really good there, and I don't want people to miss that, is that if you say if you say yes because you feel bad and you just feel like you have to, uh, even when when he's talking about you know tithing and giving, it says God loves a cheerful giver. He doesn't want you to to do things out of compulsion uh because you feel forced into it. Um I do believe that we should serve um and I do uh out of love and and things like that. But if if you're saying yes because you feel compelled to, because you don't want to feel guilty or shameful or whatever, you're keeping somebody else who God may want to be doing that from being able to say yes because you took their spot. Yeah, yeah. I think they will ultimately burn you out instead of for the other thing.

SPEAKER_00 35:11

Oh for sure. For sure.

SPEAKER_02 35:13

Yeah. And a lot of times our pride keeps us like we'll say yes just because I don't I don't want to be, I don't want to be looked at like but but man, if if I say yes to everything, right? Jesus said, My yoke is easy and my burden is light. Man, if if I am doing this because I'm I'm doing it out of the overflow of what God is doing inside me, man, it's it's I'm not it's not I'm serving. No, it's I get to serve, right? It's it's a different mindset the way that I see what I'm doing. And and that's the thing, is man, what when I know that, like at Celebrate Recovery, man, I think I think the the everybody that serves the meal because man, one, they're providing a meal for somebody that may be the mess best meal that they've had all week. Their kids may have not even like ate anything good that we uh and so and then for a parent or somebody to come and get saved or a child to get saved, and they were part of that inviting environment to where they go, I can I can let my guard down, let Jesus do what he wants to do. Man, I'm so grateful for the people that take the time to serve just a meal.

SPEAKER_00 36:29

Yeah, right. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 36:30

Um so so you made me think of um, which I enjoy doing that. I love doing that, and I love hanging out down there when when folks are eating um and and serving. The thing is, is on a Thursday night, you Scott, like personally can do everything. Like everything that goes on to celebrate recovery, you could do. You you can serve food, um, you can preach a message, you can do the announcements. Um I think I heard you strumming the guitar the other day. I ain't trying to ouch you on that or nothing, but like like I think that you could you could you lead people to the Lord on Thursdays. I I see you do everything. You could lead teenagers just as good, better than me. But the thing is you can't do it all at the same time, and so you you have to set boundaries because if people weren't serving the meal, if people weren't volunteering to do the eight principles or or all that stuff, then then you might miss out on where God's gifted you in very specifically leading so much to the Lord.

SPEAKER_02 37:26

So in in that, I I did part of part of my personal development was is I I part of that was is I had to start learning how to delegate some things because I for a while I was doing a lot of things. And so for I can do a lot of those things, but it's not healthy, like I choked the life out of the ministry, and so uh I just taking a step back and going, okay, they they're not gonna do it the way that I'm gonna do it, but I'm gonna let them do it in Jesus' name and let Jesus work out the rest.

SPEAKER_03 38:02

Your your boundaries have allowed others to flourish. It's it's almost like pruning when you're gardening, like you have to take it. It doesn't feel good. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:09

But also, your way is not always the only way. No, it's not and so a lot of times we get in our head where it's like, that's not how I would have done it. But did it get done well with excellence with Christ as the focus?

SPEAKER_05 38:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:20

Check.

SPEAKER_05 38:21

And so one thing I think is it's important to talk about too, with and I'm maybe reading into a little bit of why the person maybe asked the question. Sometimes I let my imagination run a little bit so we don't leave any stone unturned. But um I think when I when I personally think about boundaries, I think about the things that I set in my life that people might not understand. And I think that's a lot of times what can keep people up at night. People can worry about, well, this is healthy for me, but this person is upset and and they are important to me, or um I they don't understand why I need this in my life, why why this is uh only as far as I can go. Um and I'm sure even just in that sort of vague description, something came to each of our minds, maybe a different scenario. Um I think it's worth discussing and maybe just even saying out loud that it's okay if other people, especially if those boundaries are holy ones that you have set, that you um have set, especially that flow from the time that you spend with the Lord and the relationship you have with him, um, that you feel are necessary in your life. It's okay if not everybody understands because understanding why is not always the most important thing.

SPEAKER_03 39:38

So I don't know if this is this is where my brain went, but um trying to stay above reproach, uh, especially when you're in ministry and or a leader or whatever, is um sometimes you have to set boundaries that people go, it's like really, it's okay. Yeah. Um to two that come to my mind is one, um, I try my best and to just not touch money. Uh people people want to hand me money for mission trips or or or camp or donations, and people want to want to hand me money, and uh it's always the same. I'm like, you can put it in a tithe envelope and label it and put it in that black box. It's in the hallway, you can give online, but I don't touch money. Not because I have you know any kind of greed or want to do anything weird with money, but that's a boundary that I've set because you see people fall because of that. Yeah, same same thing with um, you know, if people might not understand it or it seems weird, um, I'm not gonna get on the elevator and ride even just one floor by myself with um girls or ladies. Um, you'll see me take the stairs. It's not because you know, you sneak that cardio. Yeah, it's not it's not because I love stairs and it's not because you did something wrong. It's just um trying to say above reproach. You see you see people in ministry fall with things like money or lust or whatever.

SPEAKER_05 40:53

Yeah, um, and I'm just those even if something wasn't actually done wrong. I mean, it it could be the appearance of and then somebody above reproach, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 41:02

Yeah. And so those are two that come to mind is um that people might think you're a little bit weird, but that you gotta keep those guardrails and those boundaries up because integrity is important. Um that's that's so true. That's that's very good.

SPEAKER_05 41:16

Um anything else that comes to mind?

SPEAKER_00 41:18

I said ministry-wise, I think one thing especially in kids' ministries, forgive me if it's also in use, but um we are dealing with a lot of different families, a lot of different parenting styles, a lot of different backgrounds. Um and so a lot of times we don't want to step on anybody's toes. And one thing that I try to keep consistent is with our kids, if they're capable, they're responsible, they'll be held accountable so that way they can hear the father's voice. Because I don't want them to not be able to be obedient to the father. They have to be able to listen and um, they have to be able to be okay with the word no. They have to be okay with um having people pour into them that aren't just the people in their lives. And so, like even tonight, I love you, but my fourth and fifth graders are going to be cleaning their life group room. And the reason they're doing that is because this is the Lord's house and we want to honor his house. And it might, you know, some people might be, well, it wasn't my kid or whatever, but if we are accountable to each other, yeah, you might not have made the mess, but you could have absolutely stepped in and said, Hey, I love you enough to say, let's knock it off. We want to listen to our teacher. So um, but for me, I'm going, how do we help parents help raise capable kids? And so for us right now, it's setting boundaries that say, it is okay for them if they are in a loving and safe environment to be a little bit like, okay, is this cool? And can I do like I want them to be curious and I want them, but ministry-wise, that's really what our focus is right now is building up their courage and their responsibility and their accountability.

SPEAKER_05 43:18

I think we've covered a ton, um, just as much as we probably could, even in one episode. And maybe this is like a part two at some point down the road of just uh specifically maybe how do we apply this to some of the things that you were saying. But I think it'd be good just to go around. I don't know if you had another scripture or a thought. Well, I have to do that. But just to go around and give some practical advice.

SPEAKER_02 43:38

Yeah, so some practical things, like some practical phrases if you if you struggle with boundaries. I care about you, but I can't do that.

unknown 43:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 43:47

Uh I'm not available tonight. That conversation isn't healthy for me. Um, I'll pray for you, but I can't carry that for you, right? Yeah. And then some red flags for um boundaries. If you feel chronically guilty all the time, th those are red flags. You fear saying no, you're emotionally drained. Someone repeatedly manipulates, uses anger, or ignores your values. You're enabling sin or dysfunction. And then man, Jesus these are some questions for boundaries. And so before saying yes, ask yourself this is it loving? Is it wise? Is this mind to carry? Does this honor God? And will this create peace or resentment? And man, it's it's important to remember just practical things that I mean you can just ask yourself some questions before you you answer or you you do anything. I have two things that kind of govern uh the m anything that I do or say. Is what I'm about to do or what I'm about to say, is it going to point somebody to Jesus or is it going to honor God? I those are the first filters in my brain. And so those things help me uh to draw boundaries um they they help me to live um above reproach. They um and and it's good to have those those questions and it's good to know how you feel right because those things can be red flags.

SPEAKER_03 45:24

Absolutely that's great. Just gonna say my my big takeaway um is the scripture has the answers. Even in the question what does the Bible say about setting boundaries? Um you know how does the young man keep his way pure by heeding the the word of the Lord. You said you know to be able to hear the Father's voice you know and and we even talked about we we've been talking a little bit about Sermon on the mountain Sunday mornings with the high school guys and um and how at the beginning Jesus is laying out here's what it looks like to be a citizen of the kingdom at the end, you know, he says some some important stuff you know not everybody who says to me in that day Lord Lord will enter the kingdom of heaven but those who do the will of the Father um and he says to those who who are turned away you know depart from me you who practice lawlessness I never knew you and so Jesus says you know you have to do what God wants and you have to have a relationship with Jesus like that's that's what a what a safe person a a Christian a disciple uh has those two things and to be able to do those well I think boundaries are important um and to to know what right what the right boundaries are and what to set you gotta always go back to the word.

SPEAKER_05 46:38

Well you think about I mean God wants us to be holy and set apart and to do that we have to have some type of boundary that that divides uh being holy and set apart and and not. Right. And ultimately boundaries can help us uh steward well what God has given us um and really invest the best of what we have in what's going to be the most fruitful for for the kingdom and it's gonna help us worship him and it's gonna keep us from sin.

SPEAKER_00 47:04

Yeah I think one thing that I've been learning because this is a process um I don't think like even now I'm still learning how to he talked about personal development I'm learning how to set boundaries even at work um I love to work I find my worth unfortunately through my work um and I've had to really do some some digging like some self-reflection on that and um and because I am not in service or because I'm not in a life group it can be very I can get very good at working for God and not being in a relationship with him. And so um one thing that I've been practicing and I've had to have people pour into me and teach me how to do this. I'm not great at it but this is one thing that I personally have been really working on um over the last year is when I come to a decision kind of like what you said, push pause. It's okay if you don't respond in 30 seconds to a text message. It I think because our world is going so fast, we think that we have to respond quickly. And so my strategy for lack of a better word for boundaries is hit pause. Is this going to lead me into peace or into chaos? If I say yes to them, what do I have to say no to? Because ultimately it is a choice. If I say yes to this dinner I am saying no to dinner with my family. If I say yes to coaching this I'm saying no to this. And that can be good or bad but I really encourage you to look at your schedule even if you make a calendar at home and go, where's God in this picture? And when did I say yes to him this week because he's waiting. I think of the prodigal son he's just sitting there waiting for you to say yes to him he is not distant he's not far away and to know that his patience is so great for me trying to figure all this stuff out to know that the God of the universe is waiting for me to show up isn't that what you want to build that on? You talked about that at the beginning make him first because I guarantee you they don't care if you show up to that dinner. They'll just call somebody else they don't care if you take that ticket they don't you know if you say no to coaching that they'll get somebody else um you talked about being harsh you're replaceable you're not replaceable to God. And so we take so much advantage of that that we are not replaceable to him that we allow him to come second third fourth and I think that's the greatest boundary we can draw is is that man my worth is in none of this stuff.

SPEAKER_02 49:51

No my my worth is found in Jesus Christ and what his word says and and I can live out of that and and thing is if I have the Bible says that I have everything that I need God has given me everything that pertains to this life and godliness. So I already have what I need right I don't have to I can draw a boundary and go I don't I don't have to have that I don't have I don't need that I don't I don't have to do that.

SPEAKER_03 50:15

I don't your your boundaries might be having you say no lovingly to someone else so you can say yes to God.

SPEAKER_00 50:21

Oh yeah yeah which is going to be counterculture yeah but it's gonna be fully in Christ and I think that's cool.

SPEAKER_05 50:28

Yeah a lot of good spiritual insight a lot of good practical tips just for setting boundaries and man I just say to go one thing to go back to is if you're having trouble finding a way to set those seek the Lord and see what he would have you do. And uh it it may not make sense to anybody else but it will pay off and and I do believe that in anytime we uh we follow what the Lord is leading us to do especially in in setting boundaries um you know it's always gonna it's always gonna be fruitful and it's gonna bring us peace and and uh it's gonna help us worship God.

unknown 51:01

Amen.

SPEAKER_05 51:02

So it's a good conversation. Thank you for joining us on this episode of Liberty