A Soft Place To Land

A teenager reports abuse and ends up in a DSS office, exhausted, scared, and forced to overhear strangers retell her trauma while they hunt for placement. That moment is hard to shake and it is also the spark behind Lily Pad, a nonprofit building calm, home-like rooms inside Department of Social Services offices so kids in foster care have a safe place to wait, sleep, eat, and breathe.

We’re joined by Jennifer Tice, a former labor and delivery nurse, longtime foster parent, and the executive director of Lily Pad. Jennifer shares the personal road that led here: fostering more than 40 children, loving kids through uncertain outcomes, and walking through the emotional swing of a case that moved from adoption toward reunification. From there, we talk about what kids actually experience in child welfare offices and why a sterile environment can add to trauma, not relieve it.

Then we get practical. Jennifer breaks down what goes into a Lily Pad room, from couches and trundles to lighting, privacy, and monitoring systems that let staff take sensitive phone calls out of earshot. We also dig into growth across South Carolina, the first projects in Michigan, a surprising expansion into victim care spaces inside law enforcement, and what it costs to build a full room (often $15,000 to $20,000). If you care about foster care, reunification, trauma-informed design, and real-world nonprofit solutions, this conversation shows how changing a room can change a day, and sometimes a life.

Subscribe, share this with someone who cares about kids, and leave a review so more people can find the show.

Transcript

Welcome And Guest Introduction

SPEAKER_00 0:01

This is Monica Kelsey from Beyond the Box. We're I'm in the studio today, but our guest is in South Carolina. She is the founder of an organization that you guys might not have heard of, but we're going to bring it to you today. And it's called Lillipad. And uh you guys don't want to miss this episode. This is going to be great. So welcome to Beyond the Box.

Jennifer’s Foster And Nursing Path

SPEAKER_00 0:30

All right. Well, welcome. Uh, it's good to have you. Um, for those who don't know who you are, uh, give us a little rundown about um who you are and and what Lillipad is.

SPEAKER_02 0:43

Uh I'm Jennifer Tice. Um I am a mom through foster care, adoption, um, birth, giving birth. Um, I'm now the executive director of a nonprofit that my husband and I co-founded called the LiliPad. I served as a registered nurse as a labor and delivery nurse for 15 years. My husband and I in that time became foster parents. We have been foster parents going on 14 years and had more than 40 children come through our home. Um, I'm a mother to a daughter that just turned 16 and started driving, which is a whole new identity. Um, and two sons who are biological to each other and adopted by our family through foster care. Um, and then many other children out there that have called me mom. Uh, Lillipad grew out of that experience. We started fostering teenagers in 2021. We had been um mainly fostering infants because I was a labor and delivery nurse, and there were many infants in our area that needed to go on safety plans that included withdrawal medicines, and with my background as a registered nurse in labor and delivery, that was something my husband and I could handle, and um, that became a lot of the children that we ended up serving.

Baby Lily And A Plan That Shifts

SPEAKER_02 2:10

Um, we had a child placed in our home right before COVID, and that was that was about a decade into being foster parents, and it was a baby girl abandoned at the hospital, born addicted. She was five pounds, and she needed to go through withdrawals. And I remember the phone call coming in, and I said, Why can't you find placement for a baby girl that is going to be adopted? Because the infants left at the hospital are adopted. And uh they said, Well, we think maybe, I mean, we really had no idea, but we thought maybe because she was so small and she needed to go through with the withdrawal medicines, people didn't know what her future, what her needs would be if she would have special needs. So at that time, um, a decade into being foster parents, we knew we were a bridge to either an adoptive family or um reunification with her biological family. And she came to stay with us, and then COVID, you know, shut down all our schools, we were all home, and we were about six months into fostering her, her plan being adoption. And I looked at my husband and said, Could you place her in somebody else's arms? And he couldn't get the words out. And I said, Oh boy, I think we're gonna have four children. Um, but the Lord had a different plan. Her story changed. Um, about 18 months into fostering her, her plan actually went from adoption to reunification, which is very unusual. Wow, um, yeah. So um in that time, that was a roller coaster of emotions for our children and our family. Uh, we love all the children that come through our home, but there is this just mental head space that you understand that you're living day to day and loving them day to day, not knowing what the future holds, if they'll be there forever. When you start to think about adoption, you kind of let down that guard and do think about forever. And we were there with her. Um, this little girl's name was Lily, and she began the process of reunification of biological family um at about 22 months, and she started doing visits with her biological family, and she was gone on the weekends, and I didn't want to look at an empty room. And because we were going through this just time of upheaval, which obviously it's hard on us, but it's so hard on her, these little ones that go through the foster care system, we knew kids were spending a significant amount of time in our DSS Department of Social Service offices. And

Opening The Door To Teen Placements

SPEAKER_02 4:47

we had never fostered teenagers, but we knew it was the older kids who were lingering for long amounts of time waiting for a home. So we called the DSS office and said, you know, this little girl's room is empty on the weekends. If there's a child that's gonna come in and stay and wait for a long time, even overnight, please, if it's safe for them to come to our home, you know, the age of our children, our situation, please let them come here.

SPEAKER_00 5:10

And the very first child This is when you had four children already?

SPEAKER_02 5:14

This is when I already had four children. I had our free, and Lily was doing her visits back and forth, but because her room was empty on the weekends because she was seeing biological family, um, we said, you know, a teenager could come stay with us over the weekends to give them time to to give the department time to find them long-term placement, and they're not waiting in a hotel or in the office. Well, the very first weekend they placed a girl named Ashlyn with us. Ashlyn was 15, had been in the system since the age of three. She had survived neglect in her biological family, and then had reported abuse in her adoptive family, and that's what was bringing her into our home. She had been adopted at the age of 10, but was surviving abuse in that home. Ashlyn's story just was something we had never faced head-on before, but we've learned does happen. And it's not that we believed that we were her saviors by any means, but the system had failed her, adults in her life had failed her. She had been adopted with her sister, and so her sister was coming into care. So we now had six kids in our home.

SPEAKER_00 6:27

Let me ask this because I think I think some of the views are gonna be asked. So if she was adopted with her sister, was she now being placed back into foster care then because something happened?

SPEAKER_02 6:38

She was, she was. So she was she and she would tell you as I go into this story, you'll learn more about her. She would tell you, she was surviving sexual abuse in her adoptive family. And you could hear that. Um I know it's horrible, it's horrible. And so she reported the abuse at school, and um she was in our home. And and so when when we learned this, we just thought our whole family and our church rallied around us and said, if you would like the girls to stay with you, not just for the weekend, but until they can find permanent placement, we will help you. I laid my head on my pillow. Uh New Year's Eve of January 2021 and thought, Lord, what have we done? We have our three forever children, Lily, making transition visits back and forth soon to reunify, and that's gonna be um traumatic and sad for everybody. And then these two girls who are teenagers who will need to be adopted. Well, Ashlyn was able to share with us her experience in the offices throughout her time in foster care.

SPEAKER_00 7:48

The offices, meaning when the social worker picked her up and took her back to the office to try to find a placement home for her. Okay, just want to make sure that everyone's understanding what we're saying.

SPEAKER_02 7:57

Yes, yeah, please. There's so much that goes into this, so please clarify wherever needed. So she also, when she was visiting family, they'd be in the office. Um, she was one of four, so the two girls were adopted together, but they had two brothers who had been adopted into different families. Um they said goodbye.

SPEAKER_00 8:16

So they were uh sorry, do the they were doing visits in in the offices as well?

SPEAKER_02 8:21

Yes, yes, yes. And that's that's pretty standard across the United States. There's um South Carolina has tried to uh facilitate visits outside at parks, more normal environments. The children's museum around here in Greenville is really helpful at facilitating visits and things, but yes, there are visitation rooms in each of our DSS offices.

SPEAKER_01 8:43

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 8:44

So uh the girls, um, my sister, who's four years older than me, never been married, never had children, always worked in our public school system with um teenagers in the high schools. She approached us and um she'd always supported us in our foster care journey, but never been a foster parent. And she said, Do you think they'd let me adopt the girls? And I said, I think they would jump up and down to have you adopt the girls. And they moved to her home six months later, and then the following year she adopted them. And so these two first teenagers that were placed in our home 10 years into us being foster parents became our nieces. So I have to share that story because we were going through this time of transition and turmoil with our foster daughter's case, and we were looking for a way to continue helping, but maybe close our home to foster care. Many, it's less than 1% of foster parents stay foster parents for over a decade. Um, and so we were actively looking for something to do.

Ashlyn’s Cubicle Night Sparks Lillipad

SPEAKER_02 9:52

Lily had to do her transitional visits, Ashlyn was coming to our home, she was able to share what she experienced in the office, and that's when a light bulb went off. And that's where Lillipad was born, named after our foster daughter, who did ultimately reunify with her biological family. It's named in her honor. But we put rooms right into the Department of Social Service offices where these children are being brought to while they wait to go to a foster home, or they visit with family, or they meet with their attorneys, or they meet with their case managers. Um, they were waiting in conference rooms and cubicles, falling asleep on office floors, and we wanted to change that for them. And so that's what Lillipad is and what it what it grew from, is from Ashley's experience.

SPEAKER_00 10:40

Well, you guys took a um a problem that you've seen, uh put it into action, and now you have 44 cities in America, mostly South Carolina and Michigan, or I guess all of them are South Carolina and Michigan. You went in to these facilities, built out a room for them to be comfortable, to be just homey. I I've I've seen some of the fit the pictures online of these rooms, and honestly, my house is not decorated this nice. Like you guys have done such an amazing job with just decorating to make it feel like home. Um thank you.

SPEAKER_02 11:22

Yeah, and one of my best friends is an interior designer and she's a foster mom. And she lived here in South Carolina at the time. So when I said, let's raise some front some funds, like just crowdsource, and see if they'll let us put a room in our local office. I

Designing Rooms That Feel Like Home

SPEAKER_02 11:40

immediately went to her and said, Hey, come with me. This is right up your alley. We can put this room in. And uh she didn't know what she was signing up for either. Of course, I didn't know what I was starting either.

SPEAKER_00 11:52

You never understand. And it's almost like Isaiah, when Isaiah asks, asks, you know, Christ, what would you like me to do? You know, hey, I'm here for you. Here, here am I, Lord, choose me. What you know, you never understand what that entails because Yeah, you asked that question to be ready. Yeah, yeah. And so, yeah, so I totally understand that. So she designed, so does she design every room then?

SPEAKER_02 12:18

She does. She does. And if you look at our website, you'll see some of the rooms have the same design as far as like colors or pictures. Um, but she gets the she meets with the directors of each office and gets all the measurements down to where the outlets are, um, how high the windows are, can we hang curtains, can we paint this color? Because yeah, um, something we have to keep in mind is each of these buildings are owned by the county they're in. We don't own these buildings. This is our Department of Social Services, which is run by our state, and they are welcoming us in to take over an office, a conference room. They will find a space. They've all been very gracious and they'll find a space. They want this for the children they serve. So she'll get all that information, she'll put a design together, and it's important in each room that we have a comfortable couch.

SPEAKER_00 13:16

Well, and I noticed I noticed that the colors that you guys choose are uh in in a lot of them was like lighter colors, like welcoming colors, like love colors, you know, it's like not bold, like um you're just your colors that are just really dark. It's like very inviting to see. And I love how you guys have, I mean, these are clearly designer rugs that you got, you know, the couches, the chairs, the blanket, it's like the perfect places for all of this. So your designer has done a very good job of making this. I think so too. Yeah, making this look so homey. So, okay, so how do you um and these are just questions that I'm cut, I'm just thinking, so I'm I'm assuming our our listeners are gonna think the same thing, but how do you choose which facility? Do you just contact them or do you have the locations contact you? How does that work?

Growing Across South Carolina And Michigan

SPEAKER_02 14:10

So in South Carolina, every county has a Department of Social Service office within it. And we just started near our home in the county that we were already serving in as foster parents. Once we put rooms in there, then we had other counties calling and saying, Would you do this for us? And within our first year, we actually had 20 other states call and ask, Would you consider doing this in our state? Were we prepared to do that? Absolutely not. Um so we have just moved our way from Greenville County, which is at the top of South Carolina, down. Um we completed the upstate and the Midlands. We're almost completely through the PD region and down into the low country. So by the end of next year, we will have a lily pad in every DSS office of South Carolina. So every child in foster care, whatever office they move through, because they will move through several. They don't always stay in their county, they will know there's a lily pad there for them.

SPEAKER_00 15:09

And you guys are moving into Michigan now. How many locations are actually in Michigan? How many rooms?

SPEAKER_02 15:14

Right now in Michigan, just one, and it's actually our first through a private agency. So it's an it's another nonprofit that serves youth and families that are in the um foster care child welfare system, and they were opening a center and they had what they called a connect room. And our designer, who I was telling you about, her name's Kara Grubb. She and I actually grew up near Detroit in Michigan, and she and her family had moved back there from South Carolina a couple years ago. So she does all her work remotely. Umted two children, and um one of them she completed the adoption after they had moved to Michigan, and so the county that she was licensed in, that's where this private agency is. And they learned of our work and they asked us to design their connect room for them. And we've now been asked by two other counties there to do this for them as well. It's just a whole nother programming, a whole nother um, you know, we'd have to fundraise specifically for Michigan. Our fundraising has been for South Carolina. Um, and we want to be respectful of those who have given towards South Carolina. And so we made the announcement that we're moving into Michigan and now we're fundraising there. So we've just put our footprint in Michigan in May of this year, and we'll see what the Lord does with it.

SPEAKER_00 16:40

Well, and I'll tell you, you know, when um, well, just going back to that, you know, when when you're handed uh an opportunity to change lives, you know, you always think of, oh, you know, this would this would be great, but you never truly understand the mission until you kind of dig yourself into it. You know, with Safe Haven baby boxes, I had no idea where Christ was going to lead me to. I mean, not once did I ever want to be the baby box lady of America, traveling this country talking about my life of being abandoned as an infant. And so, you know, it's like they take your pain and they take your story, or he does, and and he puts those two things together and and allows good to come from it. And you know, safe haven baby boxes. When I first started, I started in Indiana. I I installed a baby box at my firehouse. I'm a retired firefighter medic, and I I put it in my fire station, and and then another one in Indiana, and then every state in the in America has asked us for a baby box, and we're only still in 26 states. We're not in every uh state with the boxes yet. The safe haven laws in all 26 or all 50 states, but the boxes are just in 26. But it's like when people see the good that you're doing, literally just the the the waves just kind of open up for you to to walk. And the the one thing with with nonprofits is we can't do what we do without people giving to us. And you know, safe time and baby boxes is the same way. We we can't, you know, we can we can't survive without the the people who support us. And so Lillipad being a faith-based organization, a nonprofit organization, um, you guys can't go into Michigan without the funds of people, you know, people believing in what you're doing. And I think when people see the story of a kid, you know, because you have a picture of a room on your website of chairs and tables that clearly come from the inside of a Department of Child Services office.

Privacy, Phone Calls, And Monitoring Systems

SPEAKER_00 18:39

Yes, and I I'm assuming this is where these kids are sitting if there is not a lily pad in their in their area.

SPEAKER_02 18:47

And so Ashlyn's experience was she was placed with us that night, but when she was brought in that morning after reporting her abuse, she was in a conference room. I'm sorry, a cubicle with a case manager who is essentially a stranger to her, who is working very hard to find her placement. And um, but it's a stranger to her. And she fell asleep in a cubicle chair and woke up to hearing conversations of being separated from her sister or maybe going to a group home, or this foster home couldn't take me. And that just adds more trauma to what's already a traumatic situation. And so that was really the light bulb moment when she shared that. I was like, we can do better than this for these kids.

SPEAKER_00 19:27

Well, and that that actually is what stood out when I was reading about LilyPad, is when she said that she was sitting there listening to her life story being told over and over and over again by somebody on the phone calling multiple different people to try to to win them in telling them yes, you know, like yes, we'll take her. And that really struck me because I can't imagine hearing my story over and over and over and over again, or or anybody that's that's been through that type of trauma, um just basically like nonchalantly, and and I'm not blaming this caseworker, she was probably doing the best she could with what she had, right? But but telling it in front of a child, you know, um, is probably not the the brightest thing to do. And so if this child was placed in a room, a a lily pad, while she was working on finding a home for her, she would not have been, you know, in that situation where she would have been hearing what was being said about her.

SPEAKER_02 20:28

And yeah, I think we place monitoring systems now for that purpose. We have Ashlyn, it was very important to her that we had monitoring systems so that they could be with the kids and have ears and eyes on the children, but if they got a phone call, they could step out, still have ears and eyes on them, and take that phone call away from them. And so every lily pad has a monitoring system where they can do that. Yeah. And Ashlyn, I actually told her at the very beginning when we started, when this became more than crowdsourcing and putting in a room, when we applied to be an official nonprofit. Um, we are a faith-based nonprofit, but we're a public 501c3 because we don't discriminate against who we're serving, right? We're serving every child, every family. And um I told her, I said by this time I was her aunt. And I said, Um, sweetheart, I don't, I don't have to use your story. This does not, this can happen without your story. Um, and she said, No, Auntie, I want to tell. I want you to share my story, and I want to learn how to share my own story so that other girls can know that they can tell someone safe, and someone will listen and someone will do something about it. And there's many parts of this story that make me emotional, but you know, our girls, our nieces, they were failed by so many adults. And then how do you welcome them into your family at 12 years old and 15 years old and gain their trust?

SPEAKER_01 21:54

Right.

SPEAKER_02 21:55

And doing this organization alongside not just Ashlyn but Her sister Lauren has been a way to gain their trust for them to see that our whole family, not just me, but their uncle, my husband, their cousins, my parents, who are now their grandma, papa, their mom, my sister, we've all we will go put these rooms in together. We will all take the long weekends and go install these rooms and paint. And the girls love to get involved. And when there's children in the offices, you know, we'll we'll go to the store and pick up a Lego kit or something like that and bring it back to them. And um it has really like your story. When you I didn't live what Ashlyn went through, right? But Ashlyn, she just finished her freshman year of college and she says she's gonna finish her degree and come back and take my job. And I said, I hope you do, because this organization should be run by a child that has experienced foster care and knows exactly what these children are going through. But not

Expanding Into Victim Care Spaces

SPEAKER_02 23:01

only that, we've expanded into victim care. So in May, we expanded into the private agency in Michigan, but we also put our first lily pad in a sheriff's department. We had the sergeant over the special victims unit in Spartanburg, South Carolina, call us and say, I am bringing women and children in who are victims of domestic violence or sexual violence, and I am interviewing them about their experience in interrogation rooms. They smell like urine. They are cold and sterile. They're just a small closet room with a table and two chairs. And these are the victims. That's not how we want to treat our victims. And she said, I've been watching your website, your social media. Would you do this in a law enforcement office? Well, my husband's been a police officer his entire career. And we had been praying about, Lord, when we finish these rooms in South Carolina, where's the next place we are to go? Are we supposed to answer those other states? Or are there more children and families we can serve right here in South Carolina? And that special victims unit sergeant called me of her own accord, and I said, I don't know if you're a believer, but you're an answer to my prayer. And um, we put one in the um Swartonburg Sheriff's Office in May, and they've already had to use it many, many times, which is one of those things that's devastating, but I'm glad it's there to be there to be used for that purpose to serve these women and children. Um so now we've expanded into victim care. And for Ashlyn, she was a survivor of sexual abuse, and I had that same conversation. Okay, we're moving into what's gonna be telling more of your story. Is that part of your story that you want to share? Yes, I want to share it all. And that girl got up and spoke in front of all those officers and the media at the ribbon cutting. Can't wait to see what the Lord does with her life. She's gonna do amazing things.

SPEAKER_00 24:56

So it goes back to here am I, Lord, use me. What do you want me to do? You know, and you're just following that lead. You know, it it it's crazy too, because he he he gives us some of the the jobs that we're like, really, like, really, do you want me to do this? Like, really? And then when it all comes together, you're like, wow, you know, I'm a I've been a part of this, and and uh this is just amazing how he's used me. Well, it sounds like he's using Ashlyn as well, you know. One of the things that it's kind of like a going joke around here, you know, we have pictures of, I'll show you this one. We have pictures of our babies all over our uh babies on Instagram. And um, we have them throughout our entire building. So as you walk into our building, there's pictures of these kids with us all over the walls. And I said, one of these days, one of these kids, because this is a nonprofit, I can't take it with me when I go, and I said, one of these days, one of these kids are gonna get old enough to say, Monica, I want your job, and I'm gonna be like, here's the key. Like I'm having that just like a full circle moment for you if Ashlyn truly did, you know, after she went to college and graduated and then thought, you know what, I want to continue this ministry in multiple states. I mean, that would just be a full circle moment for you.

SPEAKER_02 26:16

Oh, yes, and my sons, my daughter, like all of them, they just say like it could just be a family thing. Okay, you know, we'll see what the Lord does with it. And that would that would be amazing. Let the Lord take them, even though I'd love to see them all together. Let the Lord take them to different states and do this, you know, as a family, but each serving in different states, whatever he has. I don't want to put, I don't want to I don't want to put that out there, but you know, we're just walking forward in faith. Um, and really I tell people, this isn't, you know, you probably experienced this too. People say thank you for what you're doing, and I'm like, it's not me. It's the people who have donated, it's the people who have come together to volunteer, it's the community um offices and community workers who have welcomed us into their buildings and are willing to use these spaces and the resources we're putting into them because we're very intentional in what we put in the rooms. Um I had the idea and it took a massive amount of people to run with it and make it happen. Um and we're just responding to the next, the next best yes and it's just so it's it's around here we say that I'm the dreamer.

SPEAKER_00 27:32

I that's what I do. I I look at something and I'm like, you know, we need to change that. We need to do this, this, and this. I don't know how you're gonna get and get me there, but I'm telling you, we need to be there. And so the people around you, um, not even talking about the donors, because the donors are probably the most important part, but if the people on the inside wasn't working so hard, and it again, it's not me, it's not you, it's the people who we have put in our our our corner per se to help us get to the next level. And you know, so for me, I'm the dreamer. I will tell, I will tell anybody, hey, we need to do that, we need to do this. I don't know what you're gonna do to get me there, but that's where I need to be. The funny story, I'll tell you. So the very first baby that was ever placed in one of our baby boxes uh came in November of 2017. And um, I had to convince people that putting a baby in a box is a good thing when the alternative is a dumpster. And it was hard for people to wrap their heads around that because they really didn't know how bad abandonment was in this country. And so I contacted an electrical engineer and I said, Hey, I want you to help me build this baby box. You know, I I I I want to put them in fire stations, I want to help moms, I want to help babies. And and he's like, All right, you know, whatever, you know. But he he he believed in me. And so the first baby that came uh in November of 2017, the very next morning I called him, because this happened at night, and the very next morning I called him, I said, Rick, you're not gonna believe this. But we had our first baby in in the Michigan City baby box. And he goes, Monica, your crazy idea actually worked. And so from then on, it's like I'm like, you know what, I'll have all these crazy ideas, but if it's gonna save a life of a child, you know, jump on me because this is gonna be a fun ride. I always my my my what I like to say is buckle up because it's gonna get and I'm not, you know, I I get asked a lot, you know, what's your five-year goal? What's your 10-year goal? I don't have a five-year goal. This is craziness. Like, people are like, don't you want to be in all 50 states? And it's like, personally, no, that seems like a lot of work. Um but if that's what Christ is going to let me do or push me to do, then I'm gonna do it. And so I tell people, I'm not driving the bus. I'm I'm riding in the bus, I'm in the front seat of the bus, but Christ has always been driving this bus. And so there have been doors that have been opened that should have never been open for me, never should have been opened, and there's only one reason why that they they were. And uh the road has been extremely bumpy. I wish Christ would have taken a little bit more of a you know calmer road, but we haven't. And there's been some abrupt turns, there's been some, you know, abrupt stops and some reversing going on. But at the end of the day, I know that I'm in the safest vehicle because he's in charge. You know, I'm not driving.

SPEAKER_02 30:17

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 30:18

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 30:18

I said that about my husband in law enforcement. People would say, Aren't you worried? I said, No, because he's in the center of God's will, he's where he's supposed to be.

SPEAKER_00 30:26

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 30:27

Yeah, I'm glad to hear you say you don't have a five-year plan because people try to fit us in a box, right? As um directors, executive directors, and the visionaries, and as an entrepreneur, you're supposed to have a three-year plan and a five-year plan and a seven-year plan. And I'll say, I could take time to come up with those plans, but I also know that the Lord's gonna place all these things in my path along that way, and I'm going to respond to them if it is going to help another child or a family, and we can do that with the resources we have. Um, it's almost like I I just can't waste my thoughts with that, you know.

SPEAKER_00 31:03

Like for me, it just seems like a lot of work. Like I'm not gonna end up there anyway. Because I I I can tell you what I want to do in five years, and that's beyond a beat. You know, it's like, but I know that's not where I'm gonna be because I'm just you know working my tail off. And he knows he but you know when I when I look at my life, I think he knew exactly what he was doing because he knew that I would never give up. And a job that we kind of have is a job of getting people to understand that there are tra there is tragedy in this country, and this is this is something that we can do to make it better. And I will never give up on that. I will never, if you back me in a corner, I will fight my way out. You know, I will never concede to the fact that if I can ch save a child's life, I'm gonna do it. And and so I think you you kind of look at that the same way. You know, how can I make this better for other kids? So other kids aren't like Ashlyn, you know, sitting in a cubicle falling asleep, um, which is ridiculous. Not again, it's DSS or DHS some stuff. DSS, but it's it's that's all they have until you come along.

SPEAKER_02 32:12

Right, right. We're coming alongside them, giving them the resources that they would want to have for these children, anyways. They would want to do that themselves themselves, but I mean they can't even pay their staff, right? What they should be paid, what these people are carrying. Um and so we're we are happy to come alongside them so that these children can be served. And and you know, some people might look at it and say, Well, you're just decorating a room, but we all understand that our environment affects our attitude and our mental health, it can contribute to our trauma in good or bad. And we've had experiences told to us by case managers, attorneys, that because of the warmth of the room and the the interactions they're able to have with the children, they open up more. They're able to learn more, they're more comfortable to tell what was done to them, and then they can take that and address it and protect these children. And so, you know, there used to be kids because they were sitting in the offices for days on end that would run away. They're having less runaways. So, yeah, it's a room, but it's still saving children.

SPEAKER_00 33:24

Right.

What A Full Room Costs

SPEAKER_00 33:25

So the big question so if somebody wanted to support you and they they said, you know what, I want to, you know what, I want to cover an entire room somewhere. Would you guys go to another state and do it if if if the if the cards laid out you know for you guys to do it? But also what is the cost? So just and I know you can't give exact costs, but like what's the average cost when you guys go in? So if somebody wanted to donate um for one full room, you know, what what are they looking at doing?

SPEAKER_02 33:55

When we're looking at a full-scale conference room that has what everyone would want for these children, which is a table to eat their meals at so they're not eating off their laps, a bed, we would love a trundle so that there's two sleeping spaces, a comfortable sofa, a play area, a TV, a desk to do their homework. We will change out the flooring, a lot of the flooring in these buildings is nasty. Um we'll change it out to something that's easier to take care of. Um, paint, we'll put up board and batten. So anywhere from $15,000 to $20,000. Now, have we done them less than that? Yes, because some of these further out counties have smaller space to give. Um, we will work with what we have, and every single lily pad gets a couch or day bed situation. And if it's a couch where we and we can't put a bed in, then it will have a fold-out bed in it. We go so far as to put zipper mattress covers on them that are bed bug and waterproof resistant. Uh, we put lamps in every room and they have they're L bracketed down to the tables. The the side tables are connected to the walls, but it doesn't look, I mean, you can look at our website, it doesn't look um like institutional, it looks like a home. We were just in Calhoun County this past weekend. We watched a little boy wait for us to complete the room all day. He was in the office all day, and um he came in and he said, they're not building a lily pad, they're building a house. And it was so sweet just to see that that's what we're doing. We want them. The goal is to get these children placed in homes, and whether they're in the office for an hour or 12 hours or overnight, or they come in at 2 p.m. or 2 a.m. and they need a place to sleep, we want them to have those resources. So, yes, I mean we did it in Michigan, right? The pieces all fell into place, they wanted it, the funding fell into place, and so we went and did it. Um, so absolutely, uh, we would definitely go to another state if if all the cards fell into place and all the stars aligned. Um, things have gotten more expensive in the past year. Um, there's travel costs, and we do use contracted painters, but we have had, you know, churches come in and paint, or we've painted ourselves. Um, but we have a lot of relationships that we've been able to build with community here. And so we had a local um home builder who provided one of his contractors. He just sent out a note to his contractors and said, There's this organization, if any of you would love to help paint for them. And one wrote back and said, I'll paint the next three lily pads at no cost. So we really work within our community to find those relationships, and people do want to help when they know the need is there. Um, so yeah, we're we're at about 20,000 per lily pad to make them so that they last and so that they um when we we take care of them, we maintain them. Yeah, so we have a maintenance program.

SPEAKER_00 37:07

Oh, so you do? Okay, so that's that's good to know, you know. So if somebody spills a pop on on a rug, uh that you've seen something you can't get it out. Um, do you ever find that there's red tape at certain locations where they're like, yep, nope, we can't do that.

SPEAKER_02 37:23

At the most, it was in this building we only can paint these three colors, and you've seen what our designer can do, so she'll work with that. But as we went further and further and further along, and then we had our website built out where they could look at it. We just recently um, so Greenville County, like I said, is where we live. We did a room for them, and we now have had um Greenville County Sheriff's Office ask us to do a space for them, and they had to check with county maintenance, you know, to see what we could do and couldn't do. And she emailed me and she said, Oh, they got right back to me and said, They've worked with you all before, you'll only add value to their building. You can do whatever you want. So now that they have been able to see what we can do, we're not just going in and slapping up some paint and you know, like you said, bright colors and throwing some furniture in a room. We we genuinely are intentional with our design to help create a calming environment. Uh, we had one office who wanted a second room because they have so many kids come through. They tried to do a room themselves and they called us and they said, We don't know what magic you did in the lily pad, but we need you to come do it in this room that we tried to do because we have kids get into fights or messed stuff up down here, and they don't do that in the lily pad. So we don't keep a ton of impact numbers, right? We're not asking the department to do even more work and keep track of how many kids are coming through. Uh, obviously, we know because we send in our maintenance teams, so we know how often the rooms need to be turned over, that type of thing. So we have those numbers. Um, but these rooms are being used. The case managers report to us that the kids are having much better behavior. Like I said, they're opening it up. One of my favorite uh impacts that I've heard is that the attorneys have started using them when they have to counsel the children about difficult topics, and um those are impacts that I I just didn't think of when we first started this. I really just wanted the children to have a space for themselves away from everything and something to entertain them and not sleeping on the floor. I wanted them to have a real bed, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:31

And so, okay, so your maintenance crew, so um, I'm and I'm just asking because I'm just curious. So please do they call you and say, hey, it's getting kind of bad, you know, we need we need to have things upgraded. And then who pays for that? Does the nonprofit just step in and just replace stuff, or do you have to raise more funds for that? How does that work?

Maintenance Teams, QR Codes, And Upkeep

SPEAKER_02 39:51

We keep a maintenance budget for each location that we put in. So um we each year, as we get more and more locations, the next year that maintenance fund pool of funds will grow a little bit so that we have that there for any emergencies. I just on my way here took a phone call from a woman in Florence, South Carolina, who said, We've had five kids in the office in the last week, the linens need to be washed. Um, will you send our maintenance person over? And what we do is we connect each uh county office with a maintenance team in that area, usually a local church or their foster parent association, and then those people take ownership over that space. And then we've got a great system put in place by our operations director, Kendra Bottner, where we've got QR codes in each room, where anybody using the room, even a child, can take their phone and scan the QR code and send us a note like the light bulb's out or the rug needs washed. And um, but we keep relationships with the directors and the case managers so they can text me personally too. Um that would probably get a little crazy if we went statewide, but that's just the or I mean if we went nationwide, that's just the person I am. Um but each time our maintenance partner goes through, then they send a report back and it has everything they did. They take a picture of the room as it currently looks, because we can't be everywhere all the time. And we just want to make sure every room is prepared for every child. But our rugs are ruggable rugs, so they can go in the laundry machine. Um we've partnered with uh a carpet cleaning company who will go pretty far out circumference-wise and do furniture carpets for us if we need. Um, and then our local people will go in and it's important to me, even down to all the toys having their pieces. Or, you know, when we used to keep the DVDs in their cases, now we just put them all in a little binder thing. But if you've finally gotten a child in there who's gone through a very traumatic experience of being separated from their family, they've calmed down, they've decided they want to watch a movie, they pick a movie out and they open that case, and that movie's not in there, that could be the start of another meltdown um traumatic event. And so it's very important to me that we train our maintenance partners. Like it might seem a little bit overkill, but it is important that everything's in its place and that there's order in these rooms because that calms the nervous system and just like I said, our environment affects our emotions.

SPEAKER_00 42:32

So well, and uh for you guys to keep these rooms up, I see I didn't realize that. That's something that I just learned as you're as you're talking, but I I guess I didn't realize how important that really is because if you go in and you just put a room in, in probably six months, it would be trashed if somebody doesn't keep, you know, tabs on this room, and then all of what you've done is just for nothing. And so for you guys to have a fund that is set up that you're ready, you know, somebody spills something and you need to, you know, send somebody over, you have funds sitting there ready to go because of donors that believe in what you're doing have either donated every month to make sure that you know every county is taken care of, or they just make you know their year-end donation or whatever you know they feel is that their family can do. Um, but you guys are there ready to to go out wherever you one of these rooms are to make sure that this room is set back up, clean, uh, and ready to go so that these kids don't feel like you know it's just something that's thrown together. Um this is highly thought out, really um something that that took a lot of love and and patience to put together, and they can see that. They these I don't think I don't think people give foster kids enough credit. They're very smart. Um they're smart and um a lot of things will trigger them. You know, my husband and I were foster parents, we uh our are licensed, we let our license go in 2021. Um we uh uh this job just became too big for us for myself traveling in the country and so having you know kids at home you know was just not in our cards anymore. But I'll tell you that's some of the best years of my life we had this little girl with us for 18 months. Uh we thought we were gonna adopt her. She was um we we call her K K. And um and she was just amazing and it was you know she came from a family that wasn't taking great care of her. And for her to come to us it was it was probably one of the most rewarding things one of the most heartbreaking things when we fin finally had to let her go. But we let her go to a family that had been reconstructed that had been put back together by the system that everybody says is failing our kids you know and and there are there are parts of the system that need to be fixed. But when a parent needs resources if the parent is willing to do the resources the county will get the resources for these parents and so our little KK went back to her family and now she has two brothers and a sister and it's just it's a great story you know that I I really over 18 months didn't see her ever going back. But the county worked so hard to put you know her family back together and this mother wanted so badly for her family to be put back together and she did the work to do it.

SPEAKER_02 45:26

And so there's plenty of things we could pick apart within DSS right yeah but oftentimes this broken system that we want to talk about was broken way before these children ever came into foster care. But

Reunification And The Bigger System

SPEAKER_02 45:42

because Department of Social Services and child welfare is kind of the dumping ground for all the excuses of the system is broken. But the system broke for these families way before the children ever landed with us. There's so much upstream work that could be done. But we've seen some really beautiful reunification situations too and we need families to step up and be willing to love unconditionally so that these families can have the time they need to reset and learn what they need to so that other families can be made whole. I love our sons and and they're they allow me to say this like I I firmly believe the Lord intended for our sons to be a part of our family but there is still heartbreak in their little hearts for the family that they don't know. And you know it's because sin entered the world that families are broken apart and we just need more people willing to be foster parents and more people willing to mentor those families that are working to get their families back together. And I love that our lily pad spaces have turned into a spot where when they're not being used for a child waiting in the office they will use them for family visitation. And a mother can come in and visit her child in a family like setting not a sterile room there's a rocking chair where she can rock her baby um they can turn the overhead lights down and have the lamps on and um you know some kids don't even realize like you said your house isn't decorated like this neither is mine. But some kids don't even realize that this could be a thing they can have nice things and they we only take new items for these rooms and I I firmly believe that's important because these kids are often made to feel secondhand and so we only put brand new items in these rooms and we set them up and some people would say well why don't you put completely wipable surfaces and things like that yes we could make them look like a hospital waiting room but that's not the point. It's supposed to look like a home because that is where these children will be moving to um and they deserve to be loved and treated with dignity and respect and loved unconditionally and given grace upon grace. And so that's what we aim to do.

SPEAKER_00 48:03

I

Donating, Newsletter, And Social Channels

SPEAKER_00 48:04

love that and you're absolutely right so how can people donate to you if somebody wants to write you a check for an entire room or somebody wants to just make a monthly donation um what where do they go and how do they do it?

SPEAKER_02 48:18

So I think you have our website information it is uh Lillipad Inc L-I-L-Y-P-A-D-I-N-C dot org and we have a spot on there we're actively working right now towards building our monthly donor base so that we can sustain the work we already have in place. If we do have people who like to donate towards an entire room and sponsor it and we put their name up on the room and that can all be done through our website. There's also a contact form there where people can let us know that they want to do this in their state and we respond to every one of those people that reach out and you can join our newsletter which is a great way to keep up with what we have going on. So go to our website sign up for all those things.

SPEAKER_00 49:06

Can they get to can they log on to uh to get to the newsletter to get the newsletter every month to see what you guys are up to is that on the website as well all on the website all on the front page very easily laid out how to donate and to sign up for our newsletter.

SPEAKER_02 49:21

And those are the two best ways.

SPEAKER_00 49:23

And then do you guys have a Facebook page we do have Facebook we do have Instagram you can find us on TikTok TikTok there's not a lot going on there's not a lot on TikTok like that's that's that well that's crazy for for us because we have like 1.3 million followers on TikTok and that is where a lot of the moms that utilize our services find us. So a different obviously a a totally different situation than what you are but that's how we reach them the moms that that find us but um so so we need to be there's not so great for you guys you need to teach me Instagram I don't know what it is about Instagram but I can't get I can't figure out Instagram so we do face mostly Facebook and TikTok some Instagram but you are Facebook what is it just lilypad um it's lilypad a soft place to land you know how Facebook is a little bit different with their names but um our Instagram and our Facebook are connected and our Instagram is at lily dot dot inc.

SPEAKER_02 50:28

So but it's all if you go to our website then it's all can be accessed through there.

SPEAKER_00 50:34

That is yeah I'll try to learn TikTok maybe you can teach me I don't know what we do right we just do videos and I mean sometimes we got to do stupid stuff so people laugh at us you know uh we had one of our employees he's a little overweight he wrote a bull so we we have boxes in Texas so we have to go recertify boxes in Texas well he found a bull riding you know a mechanical bull and so we put his video of him up flying off his bull and so it's just stupid stuff I'm sure in between we do the education and awareness. So um so you've got to kind of keep things interesting I guess uh with some comic relief yeah but other than that that's just what we do uh so there's no I think so because we're talking about such heavy topics right so you have to keep some lighthearted things in there.

SPEAKER_02 51:26

You you really do you really do well Jennifer it has been a pleasure um talking to you getting to know you and getting to know a little bit about Lillipad and uh and how our supporters can reach out and help you to uh you know get to more locations get them all in uh all of the counties and then maybe venture out uh of South Carolina I mean there is great things happening in Indiana as well you know so yes actually yes I was on another podcast and they're from Indiana too and they um they said they're foster parents for eight years they're like we'd love to have you here if we could set up a group so there's things happening we're in an excellent place as a nonprofit and I and you'll understand this the need and the people that want us is there right we just we cannot respond to the need fast enough um and we just need more resources and more hands. So people can sign up for all of that on our website at lilypadinc.org.

SPEAKER_00 52:27

That's

Final Thanks And Closing

SPEAKER_00 52:28

it yep all right well this is beyond the box with Monica Kelsey uh learning a little bit more about what's happening in South Carolina with Lilypad uh if you guys would like to support our ministry go to shbv.org and make a donation today we will see you in two weeks God bless you and have a great night Jennifer thank you so much