Walking Through the Valley

✨ What if that “coincidence” was really God? ✨

This week’s episode dives deep into a real struggle with depression—not as a faith failure, but as the very place God met us with people, provision, and peace that made no sense on paper. 💛

We talk about crying in the church bathroom, battling lies, and learning that community beats isolation every time. From Elijah’s rest under the broom tree to the quiet idols of busyness and self-sufficiency, this convo reminds us: it’s not about striving—it’s about surrender.

Because it wasn’t coincidence—it was God. 🙌

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome, Purpose, And Testimony
• 0:42 Naming Depression Without Shame
• 2:55 Church Breakdown And Cry For Help
• 5:15 Community Over Isolation
• 7:05 God’s Provision In Small Details
• 9:45 Why Community Matters Biblically
• 12:26 Elijah’s Despair And God’s Care
• 15:18 God Present In Trouble, Not Absent
• 17:18 Busy As A Spiritual Trap

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Hello ladies, welcome to God is Real Love Podcast, Girl Podcast, where we help you understand your identity in Christ through the love of God by diving into his word where we explore faith, self-love, and the incredible journey of walking with him. I'm your host, Ellen Badot, and I'm excited to have you today because it's been a hot minute and I missed you guys. So I have some tea to spill. Not that kind of tea, because we don't do that around here. I'm talking about testimonies that elevate women and aspire them to get close to Christ. My testimony. So let's spill the tea. So last month I went through a depression relapse and I was in a shower today thinking, how can I tell the ladies in regards to depression? Because the word depression is kind of a taboo word that is not expressed a lot within the Christian community. Even outside the Christian community, people think just because I serve an amazing almighty God, I shouldn't go through depression or this person shouldn't go anxiety because they know Christ. No, it doesn't work like that. So as I was in a shower, the Holy Spirit told me something. I wrote it down. So the Holy Spirit said, if Christians did not go through depression, then I wouldn't have put instructions to show them how to overcome it. Yeah. I said, okay, Holy Spirit, you clock that. Okay. Because let me tell you this: the blood never exempted us from going through hard times. The blood of Jesus only exempted us from death that was caused by sin. Because the word said the wages of sin is death. We have this notion of depression and how it shouldn't be a thing that Christians go through. But there are people in the Bible that have gone through depression. And we'll talk about that later. But with regards to me, my story, when it comes to depression, for me, it creeps on you. And you don't see it until it happens. It's like I wasn't sleeping well, but I was still tired, but I couldn't sleep. I wasn't eating. It was like I didn't have to eat. I wasn't hungry. And one day I was in church and I smelt sweet bread. Keep in mind, sweet bread. And it was communion that day. So it's kind of cool that I smelt bread and it was communion. Anyways, I was like, I want to go get sweet bread after this. Sweet Haitian bread. If you know, you know. And as we were sitting down in church, my pastor was preaching. And one thing about Pastor, he is gonna be in your book, he's gonna be in your business. And I felt like his word was tapping to my heart. So I got overwhelmed and emotional. I went into the bathroom and I started crying my eyes out. And I was just bawling, and it was just a hot mess. And after I was done crying, I went back to church. He finished the word, church was done, and then I went straight to my cousin's house. And as I was in the parking lot, I was crying my eyes out. And I was just asking the Lord, why do I have to go through this again? This I sadness kept coming over me. And I just kept crying. And I asked the Lord, I just said this one thing, Lord, all I want is my twin sister. Not even five minutes, my twin sister calls me and crying to my sister, and she's like, Ellen, you know when you get like this, you need community. So go to the cousin, your cousin's house. And when I do get like this, when I do feel sad, I don't want to be around people. I want to be in my room, eating junk food, watching Netflix, specifically K dramas. If you're not into it, get into it. And I don't want to be bothered by nobody. But that's when the enemy has you when you're alone, when you don't have no one around. He gets you through your thoughts. He tried to put negative thoughts in my mind, saying that I would rather be dead than experience this. But this Elen is a new Ellen. This is an Elin that knows who she is in Christ and who Christ is in her. So of course I told Satan, get behind me. Like, I don't got time for you. I listen to Satan, I don't got time for you. Get behind me. I can't deal with you right now. And it was from a sense of I know who Christ is in my life. Even though I'm going through this, God is still good and sovereign. I He is my father. The old Elan would have accepted the words from the enemy. But the new Elon, the one who knows who she is in Christ, told that big neck, big back, ugly looking Satan to get behind me. Because I know I am a child of the most high God. I am his daughter. So I went to my cousin's house and I cried and I bawled, and she was there comforting me. And then I took a long nap and I woke up. I opened a cupboard, and guess what? I see. You got it. Sweet bread, sweet Haitian bread, bonus zaboka with it. I had avocados and sweet Haitian bread. God, I ate that with joy. Maybe I was eating it up. Tastes so good. If you don't know, Haitian bread, top tier, good stuff. Through it all, I seen the goodness of God. I seen that He was with me throughout the whole thing. You can't tell me that I asked for bread and bread was there. You can't tell me I asked for my sister and my sister was there. You can't tell me in my times of trouble, my cousin was there to comfort me. One thing I learned through this journey is that God values community. Community is there for you in the times of trouble because the enemy wants you to be alone because that's where he got you. But with community, you're stronger. If you don't have family, lean on your church, folks. When you go to church, it is a place where you assemble and you get strengthened by like-minded people who knows the word when you are down. And I want to talk to the people that say, I don't need to go to church. I'm spiritual, but I don't go to church because I believe it's a me and God thing. Well, if Jesus had a community, he had 12 disciples around him. What makes you so important that you can't have community? Because in your times of trouble, it's just gonna be you. You're not gonna have nobody to lift you up. There are times in my life when I was going through grief and I had people dying next to me, left and right. And it was my church community that lifted me up when I didn't have the strength to lift myself up. It was my church community that brought me food. Let go of that notion that you don't need anybody, that it's me, myself, and I. If God wanted it that way, he wouldn't have never made Eve for Adam. He wouldn't have said, it is not good for man to be alone. So get into a church, get into community. If you say that church has hurt you, that was humanity, not God. You are putting your hopes in humans who make mistakes and not God who's perfect. You are placing an expectation on humans that shouldn't have been there. You're putting humans as your God and not God Himself. So find a church community to help you and build you in your times of trouble. There are many examples in the Bible that show that this is not new, that even people of God go through depression. For example, Elijah. So 1 Kings 19, verse 3. Elijah was afraid and fled for his life. He went to Bathsheba, a town in Judah, and he left his servant there. Then he went on alone into the wilderness, traveling all day. He sat down under a solitary broom tree and prayed that he might die. I have had enough, Lord, he said, Take my life, for I am not better than my ancestors who have already died. Then he lay down, slept under the broom tree, but as he was sleeping, an angel touched him and told him, Get up, and he looked around, and there beside his head was some bread baked on hot stones and a jar of water. So he ate and drank and lied down again. Then the angel of the Lord came again and touched him and said, Get up and eat more, or the journey ahead will be too tough for you, or will be too much for you. So he got up and ate and drank, and the food gave him enough strength to travel for 40 days and 40 nights to Mount Sinai. See, the one thing about the Lord is he will be there in your times of trouble. Elijah went through depression, he wanted to die, he didn't want to live no more because life was lifing. But God didn't let him down, he didn't leave. See, in Psalms 46, verse 1, it says he is always ready to help in the times of trouble. When your back is against the wall, the Lord is there, he will never leave you nor forsake you. And in my times of trouble, he showed that. Yeah. Because I was so busy working and working, I wasn't even in the presence of the Lord. And I kept working because I had school and I have to pay for school, so I have to work and grind. And the Lord was, oh, let me just do a little. Okay, thank you a lot. And bye. And thinking about it now, I realized that is what got me in my situation in my first place. Because I wasn't dwelling in his presence, I was so busy. And my pastor says something that always keep in mind now. He says, busy is being under Satan's yoke. Satan will have you distracted and busy with God knows what. With the most sometimes the most dumbest thing. He'll keep you busy. Social media, keeping you thinking that you have to hustle. He will make you think that you have to do everything except being in the presence of the Lord. Because if you're not in the presence of the Lord, you can't receive the promises that he has for you. You can't receive the blessings. If you're not communicating with him, then how can you be in his presence? I remember one time when me and my father were not communicating, and this is my father on earth, and we were not communicating for a month. And one day he said, I love you to my cousin, but didn't say it to me. And I was like, For the past month, you have not said I love you once. What's going on? He says, I can't be fake with you. You have not spoken to me, not once in this house. You go to work and come back and go to work and come back. You don't even speak to me. I said, Well, you told me that you wanted me to work, right? And that's what I'm doing. He said, I told you I won't want you to work. I didn't tell you I didn't want you to communicate with me. I'm still your father. Other people talk to me more than you do. And in that moment, the Holy Spirit says, How can you receive the blessings of the Father when you don't even communicate with the Father? I was like, okay. And that day, my the relationship with my father changed. We communicate more, we talk more, and we're able to have a deeper relationship because I was able to communicate with him more and more. You see, the Lord wants to bless you, but you're not even resting in his presence or acknowledging him so that he can bless you. Not only that, so that he can have a relationship with you. And that was my problem. I was working on school, doing everything, but resting in his presence. And in a result, I end up in the hospital and not working for a whole week. I like to make sure I am well off financially. And that was my problem. I was trying to play the provider. And I'm not Jehovah Jira. He is. I was trying to play his role. And because I was trying to play his role, I got burnt out and tired. And I dealt with the consequences of being burnt out and tired. But even though I dealt with the consequences, he was still there. And he taught me step by step. And he allowed me to see his goodness, his grace, his mercy. Through it all, I was able to see the character of God. And this is why I want to talk about it. Because most people say that we go through depression, but they don't add that even though I'm going through it, he's with me. The word said, though I walk through the valley, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. For he is with me. His rod and his staff comfort me. And I was talking to my therapist, and she said, You see where it says walk, right? And not run. And it clicked because the whole time he was walking with me step by step. There was no rush. It was just being his presence. Understanding the portance of rest. Understanding not only the importance of rest, but respecting and honoring the temple, my body. Not only mentally, but physically. Get some sleep. It's important. And I was putting my job as a priority and not God. I'm gonna tell you this what you put over God is an idol. And God does not tolerate idols. He said that in his commandments. Thou shalt serve no other God but me. I was serving others and not him. I was putting things above him, and that became an idol. And he shut that down real quick. Because now I don't work as much anymore. And honestly, I see it as a blessing because I get sleep. I don't know how much I have to iterate sleep. And there's less bags underneath my eyes. And I look like a human being. But the fact that he allowed me to not only rest in his presence, not only he comfort me, not only he provided for me, but also he taught me throughout the whole thing. When you go through these hard times, your question should not be why God. It should be what am I learning in this season, God? And what he has taught me is that I still walking in shame in the things that I have done in my past when I already know that God has wiped all that away, all the shame when I became new in Christ. It was the self-forgiveness that was needed. And when I make these videos that I'm enough and I'm forgiven, it's not only for you guys, but it's for me too. Because at the day I'm still human. And these are the things that I'm struggling with. Because it is the journey that I'm taking you guys with me in. So he was taking things that were not rooted by him out of me. Every single time I get on my knees, I say, God abide in me as I abide in you. Take anything that is not of you out of me and put it in the fire. If you're not using the word of God as you pray, it's a disadvantage. Because the word is alive and active. And when you pray, you're activating the word of God. So I always pray that prayer. And I knew this was an answered prayer. Even though it wasn't pretty, it turned out to be beautiful. Because the prayers that I have been praying for has been answered. Because shame is not of God. Because one thing the enemy wants to do is use that shame against you so you won't get close to God. But I rebuke the plans of the enemy over my life. For I am made new in Christ. So I step in with all the authority that Jesus Christ has given me to move forward and go through this with full force with Christ. The whole time I was going through it, all I kept hearing was, it was never a coincidence, it was God. After I overcame it, I kept hearing it was never a coincidence, it was God. I was like, okay. And then the Holy Spirit spoke louder. It was never a coincidence, Elena. It was never coincidence that I got fed. It was never a coincidence that I got comforted, I got provided for. It was never a coincidence. It was always God. For he already knew I was gonna go through it. He already knew what was gonna happen. My God is that God, and he knows everything. And through this journey, he has showed me that I ain't gonna leave you for nothing. I'm gonna stay here. And most of the time, when we feel this way, it's not God leaving, it's us leaving him. Because when you're in the presence of God, things shake, things move. When you're in the presence of God, there will be peace. And when I was in his presence, even though I did not feel well, I did not feel good, there was still peace there because he is the peace that surpasses understanding. He will provide you with that peace. He will provide you with him. I still had a sense of praise in me. I praised him through the storm. And there were times where I didn't read the word, but I did lift up his name. I'm still I'm still worshiping. I'm still putting up his music. I'm still letting him know that he's still God no matter what. I'm still letting him know he's still sovereign no matter what. That there is nothing that can take that away from him because he's God. I still felt what I felt, but my feelings never overcame the truth. The truth was always there that my God will supply all my needs, that my feelings are just feelings, they're not the truth. And sometimes when we're going through, going through our darkest times, we lean too much on the feelings and not the truth. But this time I leaned on my truth, which is Jesus Christ. Before I leave, I want to say this. If you're not tapping into the word, if you're not tapping into God, I would advise you to do it. Sisters in Christ. If you're too busy for God, he will take the thing that you are prioritizing over him. He will take that from you to show you that he is God, that he is all that you need, that he is the great I am. He will take that from you because it is blocking from the promises and blessings as his child. My sisters in Christ, tap into him, rest in his presence. If you're feeling depressed, go to him and he will provide the peace that surpasses understanding. And if you do not believe in Christ or you're not a follower of Christ, try Jesus. This is your sign. Try Jesus, accept Jesus Christ into your life. For he said, those who believe in him will not perish but have eternal life. That eternal life is a gift waiting for you to receive so that you can have a pure relationship with Christ. It is there for you to receive. Take it because it is the best decision I ever did. That's it for me today. Ladies, drench in his presence. Take God with you, and he will take you far.