02 - Mystery Meets Mastery - Awakening Inner Wisdom with Remi Olajoyegbe

In this deeply moving and expansive episode of Inner Alchemy, Wendy Gardner is joined by transformational coach, leadership consultant, and founder of the Isumataq Collective, Remi Olajoyegbe.

Together, they explore the intersection of ancient wisdom and modern leadership, diving into how true self-love, intuitive awareness, and spiritual practice can fuel sustainable empowerment — especially for women navigating high-pressure environments.

Remi shares her personal journey through profound grief, motherhood, and corporate success, revealing how loss became the catalyst for deep transformation and the creation of a modern-day mystery school. Expect powerful insights on systemic change, breathwork as a leadership tool, the importance of ancestral connection, and how to lead from love — not fear.

✨ Highlights include:

• The truth about sustaining empowerment in real life
• Ancient teachings made accessible for modern women
• Grief as a sacred teacher
• Creating space for inner stillness in a noisy world
• Why every leader needs a practice – and how to begin

Whether you're a CEO, coach, creative or carer, this conversation will leave you grounded, inspired and reminded that the path to changing the world starts within.

🌿 Learn more about Remi’s work: https://www.isumataqcollective.com

💜 Thank you for tuning in to Inner Alchemy: Transforming Self-Care into Global Sustainability.

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Transcript

Hi, I'm Wendy Gardner, your host, and welcome to Inner Alchemy, where we explore the power of inner alchemy, transforming self-love into sustainable empowerment. Today, I'm joined by a remarkable guest and friend who bridges two seemingly different worlds, the practical realm of executive leadership and the ancient wisdom of the mystery of traditions. My guest, Remi Olajoyegbe, is a transformational coach, strategic mentor, leadership consultant, and systemic practitioner dedicated to the female empowerment and human potential and a deep transformation.

She has also recently founded the Modern Mystery School, where she guides leaders to unlock deep wisdom, embody authentic power, and lead from a place of profound self-awareness. Through her work, Remi helps high achievers move beyond external success to experience true inner transformation and what I call inner alchemy, turning their inner care and self-love into lasting empowered action. In this conversation, we'll dive into how ancient mystery teachings can help us cultivate sustainable empowerment in today's fast-paced world, the alchemy process of transforming self-doubt and fear into clarity, confidence, and purpose, and practical tools of balancing intuition with action, and how to lead with love while sustaining personal power.

You know, whether you're a leader navigating high-pressure decisions or someone seeking deeper alignment with your why, this episode will invite you to embrace both the mystical and the practical and step into the life where self-love fuels every empowered choice. So let's dive in, because real transformations start from within. Hi, Remi, it's an absolute pleasure to have you here today.

Where do you see the greatest need for inner transformation to create outer empowerment? I think for leaders, cultivating trust, both in themselves, but also in the unknown, is an area that leads from inner to outer. You know, if you think about, you know, as you get to know thyself, as you get to know one yourself, it's from that place of inner work and inner inquiry that you can begin to lean in and trust more of your intuitive knowing, innate knowing, innate wisdom, particularly as a woman, I feel. And I think there's a great need for that cultivation of trust to continue, because often, I think particularly for high achievers, you know, you operate from a stance of control, control, perfectionism, fear of failure, you know, fear of being at the top and feeling isolated, rather than that deeper intuitive knowing.

And that inner transformation, I think, requires them to shift from the sort of more reactive decision-making to the more responsive, conscious leadership, you know, in a way that can integrate the intellect. I mean, I remember when you were my exec coach, because before you came, many other things to me, including a dear friend, when I was in the corporate world, I remember two things very profoundly, is that you were saying, you asked me, did I ever slow down and come from inside myself as opposed to come from my head? And I was like, no. And it was really quite a profound moment that you were like, well, let's work on that, because it's important.

And then the other thing that I always remember, which I found, again, has been transformational for me, and it's so simple, but yet not simplistic, right? Is I remember you did an exercise, and you got me to do, on the floor, post-its, and it was like giving love. And I was like, oh, yes, you know, I was very much in my giving love. And then you said, okay, now I want you to receive love.

And oh my goodness, challenging that was for me. And I have to tell you, I found that very emotional, and it really resonated, and it's now considered, like, that's five, six years ago, and it's now, like, developed into this movement that I have created. I'd like to say a huge thank you to you for that.

But anything, just those, like, I mean, many other things you have done, Remi, but those two very, like, simple things were very simple, actually, for me. In a way, you know, you're talking about, you know, it's sort of awakening those parts of us that we've did, haven't we, that we don't tend to, because, you know, they don't quite fit into the model of success as we know it, or achievement as we know it, you know, and again, I think as women, we've also become, we've come to a degree, a little bit out of alignment in terms of how we have to show up in what is often a patriarchal, male-dominated system of work. And so as we start to bring those things back online and remember those things again, they are profound.

You know, it's like retrieving, you know, actually in Indigenous cultures, they talk about things like a soul retriever, it's like retrieving a severed limb when you suddenly go, gosh, you know, you have that awakening moment of, gosh, no, I don't actually. I've functioned from above the shoulders because that's how I'm supposed to function in this system. But it's not the whole, is it? Well, it definitely wasn't.

I mean, it really wasn't. And it was very profound, so thank you. It was like, but in the concept of like inner alchemy, I mean, because that word alchemy has kind of been used quite a lot at the minute, but in the concept of inner alchemy, it's about transforming like self-love into sustainable empowerment.

And how does that idea align with your teachings, particularly in your new venture around the Modern Mystery School? Tell us more about what you think. Gosh, that's a great question. Maybe I should define for your listeners what a modern mystery.

Oh, I'd love that, please. So I launched my new platform, which is an esoteric female-focused coaching and mentoring platform and community. And further, this is esoteric? Esoteric means, well, it means a few things.

It means hidden from view, understood by a few. But I use that term because it's also talked to, you know, the hidden, as I regard them, the hidden mysteries, you know, the hidden feminine mysteries, the innate female intelligence, and the fact that it's not understood by many. You know, in the mystery schools of old, there was a lot that was not shared or understood by many.

So that's why I say esoteric. You know, dare I use the S word, Wendy, and say spiritual? Us? These are the realms that we're in. So yes, it is.

It leans more to the integration of spiritual mentoring and coaching as it intersects with business and leadership for women. And so the mystery school, the mystery schools of old were spaces of deep wisdom, deep learning, deep initiation. You would have had them on these lands of the UK all the way to, you know, Africa and India.

And these ancient cultures all had seekers who were on this path, right, of self-discovery, self-mastery, all guided by spiritual and mystical traditions. And they honoured the intuition and the embodiment and the feminine intelligence and what you just described as ancient wisdom, the feminine mysteries. They honoured all these things and they supported women to honour these things within themselves and to stand shoulder to shoulder as true equals.

And so what the Asumatat Collective does as a mystery school is it seeks to bridge this, some people might refer to as ancient wisdom or esoteric wisdom. I think of it as like ancient tech and modern tech, you know, they had their technologies of old, you know, in all these different cultures, you know, the pyramids may be classed by one set of people as a monument, but as another it's a time clock, you know. And so ancient technologies meeting our modern technologies.

So this new movement and this new community is a mystery school. And within that, at the heart of the Asumatat Collective is this idea that, you know, we're all leaders, right? So whether you're a mother breastfeeding or a woman running, you know, running the show as a CEO, that this true leadership and embodiment begins with this deep inner work, right? And the mystery traditions would have taught us that transformation isn't, it's not about accumulating power externally, right? It's about transmuting what sits within us so that we can alchemise fear, doubt, limiting beliefs into presence, into self-love as which you speak to so beautifully so that we can unlock more sustainable and embodied ways of leading and being. And so, you know, it's bringing these different threads together.

So the alchemy is a critical part because you're working to transmute, not to make wrong the fear or the doubt or all the things that all us humans feel and have as part of our human experience, but actually in our path to self-mastery, we're transmuting, we're changing, we're shifting. And it's within this context of a mystery school, a held space where we can do that work and stand in our leadership from a much strengthened position. So, I mean, I love the word alchemy.

One of my courses, one of my coaching shorts is actually called Alchemising Polarities, you know, where we look at alchemising, you know, opposites so that we can come into an equanimous middle place of balance. And I genuinely believe that by doing that inner work, that our outer world reflects our inner world. And so therefore we must do this.

It's a calling for all of us humans. If we want to have this sustainable world and sustainable planet, it's time to really get ourselves sustainable, you know, human sustainable, and from inside. And so I'm so excited about your new venture because, I mean, you've been one of my absolute teachers for a long time now, and I'm really grateful that you're bringing this wider to the world.

I love how you've woven self-love into this movement for sustainability, self-sustainability. And by the same token, what I've done within the Asumatac collective, for those listening, it's I-S-U-M-A-T-A-Q collective, is at the heart of it, it is this success seed. And it came to me on waking one morning really, really clearly, because I thought, with all these big leaders, you know, they are successful humans, female, wonderful women.

We've all been on a path of success. And I know part of my story I speak to is not feeling like, feeling dissatisfied at some stages in my career, being felt successful, but still feeling dissatisfied. And so when I kind of got this, what I would call as a sort of a download or an idea or a bit of inspiration, I sat up and I wrote success, and it created two statements that spelt success, success.

And actually it speaks to the sustainable part of what you speak. And so the first statement is, she, you and I, Wendy and Remi, she understands that conscious collaboration is essential for self-actualized sisterhood, connection together. Wow.

That's real sisterhood, right? You know, there's arguments to say that we're not there yet. And the second statement was, sisters understand, S-U-S-S, that conscious collaboration is essential for a self-actualized, sorry, for a sustainable systemhood. And I just love the fact that you're looking at this self-love piece and sustainability.

And actually it maps perfectly with what I'm speaking to, because we need to do the work as I, you know, we need to do the work as I to be able to come in together as a group of women and say, yeah, of course we're going to collaborate and lift each other as we rise. And then that will change the systems that we're in because, you know, we're shoulder to shoulder and we're doing this to create a sustainable systemhood. So I just wanted to share that overlay.

Beautifully put. And that's exactly what the motivation is. And that's why we're all coming together to collaborate, which is just wonderful, right? Yeah.

I want you to share with us and the listeners, a moment in your own journey when doing your inner alchemy transformed something within you that led to you making a profound shift in your leadership or your life, Remi. God, there's been a few moments I can think of. One of the most profound shifts in my journey was having to surrender to the unknown.

And in those moments, all I could do was cope. And that was enough. And then from coping, I could hope.

And that was a bit more. And the reason I say that is that, so she would have been 13 now. You know, I lost my first daughter.

She was stillborn, pretty much full-time, Eloise. And it was an extraordinarily heartbreaking thing to go through to give birth to a dead child, you know. And it taught me so much about myself, about motherhood, about showing up in authenticity around how you feel.

It really stripped me bare, actually. And, you know, I'd had, on the surface of it, a seemingly successful career in life and all of that. And suddenly, this was just like a major rug pull.

You know, you just can't prepare for anything like that. And so that was a very profound shift in actually having to understand that coping with life was enough. And that in that, you had to just surrender to what was going on through that process.

That it wasn't that I could, you know, make that deal happen or pick up the phone or, you know, do what I was used to doing to kind of be successful and make things happen. And it taught me many, many things. But actually, you know, I say this a lot.

You know, grief was my constant companion for many years. In that, I really realized that there was a great access point to the sacred, to what had just happened, the cycle of life and death, and actually how softened, how eviscerated I was by this experience. And yet, I was able to somehow, you know, I say by the grace of all of those beings out there that were looking down at me at that time and around me, I was able to work through that pain and to understand why she became so important.

She was so important because it was actually Eloise that was the inspiration for me retraining as a coach, focusing on female empowerment as my path. I didn't realize I would be able to have children. It took me another five or six years to have my daughter and another, and my second child who had to be terminated.

So it was a real journey. You know, just before my third child and only live child Ruby was born, my mother died. That was my beloved mother.

So, you know, when I say grief was around, it was around, it was a companion, it was there, but it taught me so much and it was an absolute shift in terms of how I showed up as a person, as a leader, as a friend, as a wife, as a member of my community, because suddenly there's something, it's simplified, you know, and you've got to start making choices about where, how you want to show up and where you put your energy and who you want to be around. And I wanted to focus my attention and my heart on not being in the financial system and making money for money's sake or making money for other, more money for money's sake, right? And that energy, and I'm not making it wrong, I'm just saying that's when you're in that slipstream, that's what's going on. I wanted to start connecting at a much more deeper, much deeper level and of course that then shaped how I communicated with and about everything, you know, shaped how I communicated with, how I communicated with everyone and everything, it just infused everything, you know, my understanding, my level of patience, my understanding of what people went through when they were grieving and yet they were back at their desks in this full-on culture that we have.

Two weeks, you know, it shifted a lot. So, sorry, that's a bit of a long answer. No, I think it's amazing that you should share this because there's so many of us who have, so many of us have experienced grief.

So many of us have pushed it down and ended up quite unwell because of it because we've just not acknowledged and we've not grieved and we've not used it to our, you know, best, you know, out of a best, a horrible traumatic situation like you've done and I hope whoever's listening to this, if they have ever gone through grief, it's important that we do now, no matter how many years ago it is, that we do acknowledge it, but yet we will do whatever we can to avoid it because there is no place for us to understand the sacred nature of, that's what I mean, it laid me open to the sacred, suddenly I was like, oh my goodness, life cycles, death cycles, you know, when my mum passed away before my daughter, it was just, oh my God, but it laid me open to this truth which was, wow, this needs to be honoured, this needs time, it needs space and I, you know, I think you're absolutely right, it makes us unwell, you know, because there is dis-ease in the system because we have not made space, so that's our responsibility, but we then are in a culture that makes no space and because we're constantly having to show up and be on our best and be at our best and our full, that and the other, it can feel almost impossible, you know, when there's something that's so deeply, deeply emotionally challenging. And I think, I think the thing is, is that by not accepting the reality of what's happening, like you did, like my first daughter died at birth and what happened was, I almost, she almost died a hundred times and never acknowledged the pain and never acknowledged her, so therefore it kept coming up, so I would really, really, and our culture's not great at that either, you know, of actually helping us to acknowledge these important passings. I think it's, and we're not trying to be like, but this is reality.

The reality is that we'll all, somebody will die, right? Somebody will all die, yeah. Absolutely. So let's stop, you know, reliving things that are so painful, but let's face them, let's face them together and that's such a beautiful thing to have brought up Remi and I really, really honour that because it's something that I definitely wasn't very good at and it did pay dividends for a long time, let me tell you.

But going back to you, I wondered if you could give me kind of like, walk us through a practice for the listeners that helps people stay connected to their inner wisdom whilst leading in high pressure environments. I mean, you've dealt with many, many C-suite executives. So can you give us an example of that, of a practice that would, you know, even just something that you would always recommend? Yeah.

I mean, you know, gosh, that's a continuum of things, you know, so I guess it depends on where your level of openness is. But if I were to say, you know, to start, not even to start or the very beginning, to start at the simplest for all of us humans is two things. One is to become aware of our breath, right? And it's all about ritual and rhythm.

A lot of ancient teachings would emphasise the importance of cycles, right? So just as I'd said earlier, you know, we move through nature, nature moves through this death and this rebirth cycle and so do we, right? So it's almost like if we could think of our breath as this stillness and reset where we're sort of intentionally reflecting, we could then transmute some of that, what I could only describe, and I know it in myself, when life is full and busy, chaotic energy into focused energy. And there are many different ways, many different practices of breath work, meditation, and I know a lot of, it's funny, when I start working with people in one-to-one and they go, oh, I've tried meditation, I don't like meditation, I can't stop my mind thinking, you don't need to stop your mind thinking. It's again, it's another one of those noticing practices.

It's about using the body as the map, right? And through the body map, we can start to understand, oh my goodness, gosh, I could feel the charge of that emotion when that person said something to me. Wow, I'm really going to notice that. And then instead of jumping to response, we use the breath, we take a conscious breath, right? And then we're coming back into connection with the body before we respond.

And so I think breath is, using breath for stillness to transmute busyness, chaotic energy is a great one. So it might be that you, I love, you know, there's a simple, oh my God, I can't remember the name of it now, oh sorry, coherence breath. Oh yeah, the one to your heart.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. So you could hit, the coherence breath is five and a half beats in and out and it's in coherence, it's I think 0.1 hertz, which is the frequency of the earth, but it's also in coherence with your heart. So if you are suddenly in this moment of stress or you've been in a challenging meeting or the kids are kicking off at home or you are just not right in yourself, right? This free, simple tool of being able to come into coherence with your breath and your heart can suddenly allow everything to settle and it's from that place where we can then notice and say, oh okay, this is probably what I might need rather than being in these constant states of highly adrenalized, reactive energy because it's the world that we live in and of course, there's always somebody that wants something and suddenly, you know, as you said, you know, when we first started working together, you were always giving, you were always there and next and next and next and suddenly you're in receive mode, you don't know what to do with yourself and you know, so this breath and I'm saying you as in, gosh, we've all been in those multiple stages, so this breath, this daily breath as a reset to bring your breath into consciousness is really important, you know, it's like a somatic anchoring almost so we're bringing the awareness back to the body and it moves beyond the mind stories, right, into the deeper knowing because of course, when we're in the fight or flight or there's something triggering us, the mind is creating all the narratives it needs to justify why we're freaking out having a go at somebody not responding in the way that we might want to if we were calmer, et cetera, so this somatic anchoring with these beautiful sort of simple breaths is just one technique.

I totally agree, I didn't even know how to breathe properly until we had first met and but the amount of times I've used it when I've forgotten to ground myself which I'm very good at doing nowadays because back then I wasn't and you know, you leave the house, you're trying to get the children in the car to go to school, you bloody left the cup of coffee on top of the roof of the car, you know, and then it freaking falls on the drive, it smashes, you know, and da la la la and then you get them to school and la la la then you're all in the car park, well I tell you what, that, that breath, that coherence breath that you were talking about I think has saved my life many times by just, when I've dropped them off it's just doing that for even just three minutes. No, it's true and it pulls the sort of the vortex whirl of energy that starts to spiral and dial up within us and therefore around us and this is the thing, the energetics of this is, you know, we're constantly pulling towards us what is sort of happening within us and so suddenly you can feel, I mean my goodness, you know, it used to be my, well back in the day it's not to say I don't ever feel it, I'm human but the level of overwhelm that I used to feel as a younger person in my full sort of manic always doing, you know, it's just not, it's just not good for the nervous system, you know, we can't function in those states, you know, indefinitely and as you say, it's like the cup of coffee is just a factor of the fact that it's all going on and all those moments are almost sort of pulling in more of the chaos so this anchoring down somatic awareness back into the body, you know, you're just shutting the eyes for a few minutes and doing it now, wow, you know, and Sal, another way that's really good, you know, even if you're doing that for two minutes and you allow your body to release the sound, again, it's like another somatic anchor to give yourself permission just to stop in that moment, works, I mean, I don't start any session with any leader without some form of breath work practice, never have, just because then suddenly you arrive and they're on the screen after five minutes of a conscious breath or something and it's like a different being sitting in front of you, you know, but I tell you what though, and it's available to everybody, free, wow, right, it's something that you can use in your toolkit to really regulate yourself, I mean, it's incredible how we've never been taught these things properly until, like, you become senior leaders that we can get access to amazing coaches and amazing, you know, people such as yourself, Remi, who are very advanced in their, in their, their learnings, which is just incredible and what's the second thing, because you were going to say a couple of things, so the breath was the first thing in terms of for that kind of, when they're in high pressure and, so, so, I mean, I mean, there were so, there were so many things, but another really simple, people often talk about grounding, in fact, you said, you know, I'm good at grounding myself, sometimes, just lying on the floor actually allows the body to go into that state of dropping into a more grounded energy, so if you want to combine that, you know, and it's not impossible to lie on the floor of one's office, to lie on the floor, I mean, I, I frequently just get down on the floor just for a couple of minutes, because it's, again, it's that anchoring down through the body, you know, with, when we're, otherwise, we only lie to sleep, but actually it's great to train your body to lie to ground, to just be settled. What I thought was extraordinary, I was in another, a place I used to work the other week, and it's, you know, a very high pressure tech company, we have meditation rooms, I went into the room with, with two of, my ex-colleagues, to do meditation, by the way, but, but this man came to get me, and he was like, excuse me, you can't use that room for meetings, and that just shows you the habit that even those beautiful rooms that are private rooms, that you can go in and do what you've just described, the breathing and the lying down, people are using those meeting spaces, and I was like, no, I'm about to use it for what it's truly meant for.

We don't give ourselves the permission to do those things, do we? It is extraordinary, but, you know, just, if you, if you could, if you could reframe it to the employer, and look, I know who you're talking about, and actually, that's quite advanced, you know, well, I mean, more and more now, corporates are having things like prayer rooms and meditation rooms, but, you know, whether people actually take the time out to use them is a different thing, because it's not an employer's permission, I think. What has to come with these spaces is an education around the healthcare benefits, which, of course, you and I are doing now in our new forms of work. So, you know, and yet also grateful that these spaces exist, but, yeah, it's interesting, isn't it, that people can use more people going in there for the wrong reason, not the wrong reason, for the, for the meeting room reason than the actual taking a moment out reason.

Yeah. So, it was really interesting, I thought, yeah, it's a real opportunity for us there, I would say. And then, once someone has unlocked the new level of self-love, self-awareness and self-permission, I think a lot of the time these things are, right, giving you self-permission, how can they sustain that empowerment in their daily life? I know you talked about breathing, I know you talked about, but how do they keep, like, sustaining this? What would you kind of, what would your kind of guidance be around that for our listeners? Well, I mean, when you said how can they sustain it, and I just, the empowerment and the self-love piece, I think, again, I go back to the twofold, one is the practice and the other, I guess, is the understanding.

If I think about the understanding, which is how can they, but why would they, right, first, I suppose, for me, which is, if you understand now this term self-love or you understand even the term you know, giving some love to oneself, right, we realise that we operate from a position of scarcity and fear sometimes, often, actually, you know, often we are in this scarcity mindset, this fear mindset, we're not in this sort of self-love. So, why would you do these things? Well, in that space of self-love, you can cultivate presence, you can cultivate presence, which then allows for clarity, clarity, allows for some spaciousness, within the spaciousness there is creativity, within that spaciousness there's also resilience, right. So, suddenly you've got this whole suite of aspects of yourself or your capacity because you've understood, oh, this isn't just some stuff that people are talking about and oh, it sounds great, but where's the time for self-love? I'm in the middle of a deal.

I mean, I used to work for Goldman Sachs and various, you know, you're in the cut and thrust of a deal, right. But actually, had I perhaps understood the fullness of the presence and the clarity and the creativity and the resilience, my health and well-being would have been better cared for, right. Which means that, you know, empowerment, it's not about proving your worth, is it? It's about embodying it.

So, I guess, that's what I would say about that. So, you've got that. Well, the how, then, is your choice to, how do you embed any practice, right.

You've got to learn to drive a car, you've got to take lessons. With any of these things, you have to cultivate a practice, cultivate practice. And, so, this part is the education and the awareness and that education and awareness, when it can be shown to you in an embodied sense, if I was doing an exercise when you said, oh, I just stood on a few bits of paper and something, something happened.

You've got an embodied, visceral response in your body which said, I know what this means, right. So, then, what do you choose to do? Well, what you've done, and you know, I've watched you do it over the years, and constantly working, constantly finding new methods, is you've cultivated practice. Because we need that practice, we need that discipline to then introduce these things into our lives so they become sustainable, so we feel more sustainable.

So, I would say the how is about the practice, you know, and there are many things, whether you want to meditate or chant or use prayer or mantras or, you know, I mean, the list is absolutely endless in terms of the amount of sort of alternative touch points that we can start to introduce for well-being. And, you know, and then the body has a very clear response which is as much as you might go, oh God, what is this? You know, who doesn't feel wonderful and amazing lying after, you know, some yoga stretching and having some beautiful tones and sounds and music? I mean, it's, you know, it's just, yeah. So, I would say the how is the cultivation of the practice, it's the understanding that you've got to step up to the discipline of it, which is something for me that has helped me, guided me, kept me, kept me on the, you know, when I felt when I've had such challenging times, when I've, I often say I used to lean into a lot of these practices because of the challenges that I was facing.

you know, whether it was within work, within personal life, you know, I'd lean into those, those practices for help. But actually now, you know, they were, they were, they were a necessity was for now, now they are my, my, my go-to. I lead those practices to remember what it feels to be calm and in that calm I feel joy and peace and serenity and I'm able to create.

So, but that is cultivating practice, you know. And practice is so important because this is, it's not roses and bath bombs. We have to get into this, right? It's into it.

It's a way of life, really. I was just saying to you at the beginning before we started recording that, you know, there's been a whole load of planetary movements. We've had an eclipse.

We've had like a huge full moons, blah, blah, blah. And I was feeling really, I felt those energies last week and I do a lot of practice but I hadn't been doing my EFT tapping practice and there you go. I was like, what am I doing? And of course, doing that really regulated my system because that works for me but it's interesting how even the best of us who are practicing still forget stuff and so therefore it's human, right? We're human.

Yes, that's, I mean, perfect. Of course we do. I think it's, what is it? God, I don't remember the book.

Stephen Covey, is it? Have highly effective people like, you know, do something for 21 days, you know, but that practice might even just be what am I feeling in this moment? What am I noticing? Is that coming from truth? Is that coming from fear? That is a practice. Exactly. You do that every morning.

Just ask yourself the question. Actually, what you then realize through that practice is, wow, I don't actually check in with myself. So I don't know what I feel.

Yes. And that can feel like a very scary place that we've probably all touched into, right? When we suddenly go, wow, I don't even know what I feel. I think you're spot on there and I just want listeners to know that it's the small things that actually don't have to do these huge grand gestures.

Just this little thing you just said, just even checking in with yourself. So, so cool. And so, I would like you to share with us one of the ancient teachings because obviously you've got lots of amazing knowledge around indigenous communities and et cetera, et cetera, and plus your own heritage that can help listeners and not just transform themselves but empower others around them.

I mean, some people might feel called to this. I don't know. But what you see, so I come from two lineages.

My mother was a Brahmin Hindu and my father comes from West Africa so the Yoruba people and they both have quite a lot of ancient practice and we have to, of course, cultivate our own, I think, being informed by these, by lots of ancient cultures but actually you would have practices like this in the British Isles actually, very sacred lands here as well. One of the things I think that empower you and others is making offerings because if you make an offering to, so for example, I work a lot with water where I live. There's a lot of water.

The river is just on the edge of our land here and because of my father's lineage, I've always, not always, that's not true actually, I've become more and more curious in the last few years and studied some of the ancient cosmology and by the same token in my mother's lineage, offerings are often made to the deities and the goddesses and different pujas, different holy days but what's really wonderful about making an offering is there is a solo and a community aspect to it. So, you know, if, say for instance, put it into the sort of, you know, sort of European context, All Hallows Eve or Samhain, that period, is the time that all of the souls pass over, right, again or it's that hallowed time of the ancients and so what that really speaks to is a time to honour the ancestors, right, which again is work that I do a lot of in my systemic work and also in the Isumutak Collective, it's actually going to be one of the first coaching shorts I do because we don't, we forget where we come from, we forget where we come from and if we're forgetting where we come from then we forget the teachings of the past which might lead us to make the same mistakes in the future which would be a real shame and I look at humanity and I have to wonder about that but they're bringing community together around a particular date to make an offering to just remember the dead, to remember the people that came before us and what they endured to enable us to have a thriving life is a really beautiful process, it can be for yourself and it can be for the community and there are many different ways to do that, I like to offer flowers to the rivers because I have a very deep connection with water and I do that in my own way, I like to honour the ancestors in that way which is I might take flowers or fruits and just be at the water's edge, we are water, water is life, we wouldn't survive I think more than a week without water, nothing lives without water, it's the most sacred element and so it's about coming into remembering through a practice or a process and so I think making offerings, even if it was just sitting by a water body and singing a song but it's about your conscious connection with that particular aspect, element, entity that enables you to also truly appreciate the interconnectedness of all things, the interconnectedness of our well-being, you know we're not, we look at that and go I like to go out in nature but we are nature, you know what I mean and so suddenly through that process of honouring we are able to remember that reconnection, oh yes this is, we are interconnected and so suddenly you can lean into, think about those that came before you, the fact that they walked those lands, your Scottish ancestors and what they would have had to have endured, for you to have, all be it, we've all got our stories and we've all got our stuff but we're still thriving life right now in this moment. So that would be one practice I think.

I think that's really beautiful so thank you for sharing that and I know that we're coming up to time so what I'd like to say last I've got five minutes or so. Oh great, okay. So Remi, in terms of I suppose a really profound experience that you have had whilst managing people is something that I'd like to explore, yeah? So what is it you would so for leaders out there who have got, you know, that have worked on themselves and are feeling a little bit uncomfortable actually to share it because I think this is all still a little bit, people are still in this very, very masculine environment right? And they're feeling uncomfortable but they're leading people so they're not entirely in integrity but what would you say to people who are feeling uncomfortable about this actually? Sorry, I'm kind of like forming this question as we're speaking but I'm just like what would you say because I've just come across this lately that people in the corporate world who have been doing my courses for example have loved it wanted to do more but yet really struggle to offer to see, oh somebody else should come on it but people who have not been who are not corporate world are more than happy to offer it so what would you yeah, what would you say? What would you kind of what would your recommendation be to them? I mean there's a lot of courage for us to be able to show up in our fullness isn't there? Because as much as there's a lot of corporate speak around you know bring your best self bring your full self really? Do you really? Are we really being given permission to do that? I know that I felt it just even I outed myself with the Assume Attack collective recently as you know and I said so wow suddenly I can feel the metaphorical albeit which wound you know of being burnt at the stake for actually speaking about things that might not be quite aligned says who with the corporate context so you know I think it's it's a hard one because for me what I would say is it's not we're no longer at a point where we should feel we have to compartmentalise ourselves it's compartmentalisation that has led us to feel disconnected from ourselves from our community from each other from the land and the earth that we live on from the fact that it grows you know everything we have is from the earth and yet we're so disconnected from this paradise and abundance I think if you're struggling but you feel this yearning or there's something happening or you want to be able to lean into things that take you in a slightly different direction firstly don't be frightened I think it's the most natural thing in the world that we are we are craving connection and these practices really enhance and help us remember the need for that deep connection to our own hearts and to our own you know to our communities and our families that's healthy and conscious I think therefore it's helpful to think about whether you're leading from fear or from love you know actually when these things come up and you suddenly have a contraction go oh well I'm slightly curious about what that is well no thanks is that from fear or is that from love you know if fear is present and of course for all of us it is present in different ways you know and I really I say this from such a place of humility because I've got my own version of this as somebody that's led a very professional career and still does but now opening myself up becoming far less compartmentalised it's an invitation that fear to return to some form of alignment and so if it were an invitation to return to some form of alignment what would that invitation what would that alignment be and look like because we all know it we all know aspects of the shadow when they present we all know when we're in judgement of someone else and it doesn't feel particularly fair our human nature sadly is one of the little sort of malfunctions is we're often quite good at making others wrong because we're frightened because we're fearful and so I feel like if we could question that gosh where is that coming from within us you know if it is that if fear is present then what is it inviting me to look at within myself then I think that would probably be quite a helpful it's like being curious isn't it that word curious is underrated actually it's like maybe we should be a bit curious for ourselves but you know just the reason I brought it up was because I've been experiencing it and obviously it was International Women's Week last week and it's like Women's History Month and obviously the context of it is and the theme is accelerating women and girls and I think well actually when we've just discussed this have we actually accelerated that power well no we haven't because you know the suffragettes they were meeting in secret you know for so long but yet we're still feeling quite secretive about even loving ourselves yeah and we have to look at that it's crazy it's crazy what happens is then if we're secretive about it it means that we don't emulate it we don't embody it therefore the next generation feel that they have to swing out of alignment and a bit more into the masculine in order to show up in those spaces and you know actually I said the same thing you know when we launched the Isumutat Collective on International Women's Day I said you know I'm not going to recite the statistics because for those of us that know them we feel the weight of them right literally and for those of us that don't know the statistics well you feel it in your bodies you feel it in the spaces that you show up in in the places that you feel resistance from you know it's live for all of us and so therefore if that were true however you experience this yes there's been progress but relatively you know just look at senior women running you know I think it's 30% of you know global leadership and that's up 20% in 20 years or something so not great stats so if we know this to be true my invitation is if you're in fear but you are curious about finding out more about yourself so that you can lead a more aligned walk a more aligned path with more balance with more peace feeling more authentic and credible within yourself then seek out alternatives because what we've been doing for the most part ain't working you know I mean hence we're all you know me squirreling in the esoteric stuff in the back door because I'm thinking oh god but actually I know this works I know that supporting leaders with traditional coaching methodologies questioning goal setting all of that but also supporting them with these gentler softer ancient techniques ways I mean they're within them they're within all of us right I mean they're not telling anyone anything they don't know already so I just I feel like you're absolutely right to raise it Wendy we've got to we've got to be brave and ask the question particularly for the leaders that are at the top you know and they get to that point and we've all seen it we've all felt is this it well if it's no it's not there's way more beyond we've got to we've got to dig we've got to mine it because it's not as it's not on the surface layer you know because we've spent a lot of time pushing it under suppressing suppressing and actually I mean it's you know it's been life changing it's made my connections my friends my friendships my you know the fact that you were a senior leader but open and curious it's completely taken our relationship in a different direction which is beautiful you know we can do business but we can also do all the other stuff I mean what's not to love absolutely and on that note what is not to love I totally agree with you and I am so grateful that you came on today's episode and I'm so grateful for our friendship and your guidance and everything that you have done held me loved me carried me friendship to me thank you so much thank you Wendy if I may ask one little favour which is can I just mention the assume attack collective at the end here because we start our coaching shorts which is a series that I put together which is based on issues that I've seen and witnessed in my one to one work with women in my group work with women and so I've designed this whole series this 12 month series you start it starts on April 30th you sign up and you do one coaching short a month which is effectively a new topic each month you do the whole 12 and it's really about a journey for the women to deepen into the descent of the feminine before we emerge which is what I think so many of us are doing what I see in you what you see in me and that very permissive space for us to lift the lid a little bit more and have a look so I just wanted to mention that because we're live the platform is live we launched on International Women's Day assumeattackcollective.com and I'll give you all the details and I'm just so grateful for all the work that you are doing on our behalf to make this topic a legitimate topic of study interest you know how has it fallen so far down the path it's so nurturing thank you again and we will definitely have all of the details for your wonderful new creation I love the modern mystery school way of describing it modern day mystery school for women shaping our future love it very perfect thank you thank you for tuning in to another episode of Inner Alchemy transforming self-care into global sustainability now remember subscribe and follow us to stay updated and if there's a topic that you'd like us to explore please let me know to learn more about collaborating with me or initiatives at Ohana Foundation visit our website ohanafoundation.com or connect with me on LinkedIn you know your engagement fuels our mission to empower self-love and global sustainability until next time take care and nurture your inner alchemy