Punishment or Protection? How Perfectionists Misread God's Delays (Part 1/2) | 021

Scriptures referenced:  

• Judges 14:14 - Out of the eater came something to eat, and out of the strong came something sweet.
• Prodigal Son - Luke 15:11-32
• Matthew 11:28-30

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 Have you ever prayed for clarity—only to hear what feels like a parable?

In this episode of The Redeemed Perfectionist, host Leneé Pezzano shares a vulnerable moment when God didn’t answer her anxiety with instructions, timelines, or correction—but with reassurance.

For Christian perfectionists, seasons of waiting and silence rarely feel neutral. They feel threatening. They trigger comparison, self-doubt, and the fear that we’re “behind” or have somehow missed God.

In this episode, Leneé explores the biblical difference between riddles and parables—and why God often speaks in ways that invite relationship rather than performance. She also unpacks how perfectionism partners with pressure, why exhaustion can feel like faithfulness, and how to recognize the difference between the voice of a taskmaster and the voice of a loving Father.

This is Part 1 of a 2-part series on reframing God’s delays and learning to trust Him without striving.

✨ In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The biblical difference between a riddle and a parable—and why it matters
• Why God often reassures before He explains
• How perfectionism mistakes pressure for faithfulness
• How to discern the source of a voice by how it motivates
• Why God’s silence and slowness are not signs of disappointment
• Why delay is not evaluation—and waiting is not disqualification

🕊 Key takeaway:

God does not withhold blessings to test your worthiness.
 He prepares you because He intends to bless you.

Sometimes His greatest act of care is staying close—before telling you what’s next.

🔜 Coming next week:

In Part 2, Lenee unpacks the two parables God gave her—“paste” and “let me carry the groceries”—and what they reveal about moving forward with God without striving.

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Transcript

Punishment or Protection? How Perfectionists Misread God's Delays (Part 1/2) | 021

Have you ever prayed for clarity only to hear what feels like a parable? I chuckle a little when I say that because honestly, did God not speak in parables like all the time to his disciples? But this particular morning didn't feel poetic. It actually felt very confusing. And maybe you know that feeling too.

Side note, I also was a little curious, like what's the difference between a riddle. And a parable. 'cause in my mind they're so similar.

So, I did a little digging.

I promise I will get back to the main point, but I just found this to be really a great perspective. So, this is a riddle versus a parable, and it's through a biblical lens. Okay? So, a riddle is a puzzle meant to be solved. It's gonna hide the answer behind word play or ambiguity or clever misdirection.

[00:01:00] The purpose of it is to test intelligence or insight, provoke curiosity, reward the one who figures it out. How it works is it'll hide the meaning on purpose. And then once you get it, the riddle is basically finished. There is a biblical example of this in Judges 14. Sampson says, “out of the eater came something to eat.”

The point of it was not transformation. It was a challenge. So, the key question a riddle asks is, “can you figure this out?”  A parable is a story that reveals truth relationally, not intellectually. It's going to use everyday images to uncover spiritual reality. The purpose of it is to reveal the heart of God, invite reflection and repentance, and transform the listener, not just inform the listener.

[00:02:00] The meaning is basically revealed over time and understanding depends on posture, not IQ. And the story keeps working on you long after you hear it. Of course, Jesus used parables a lot. For example, the prodigal son.  You don't solve it…you find yourself in it. So, the key question a parable asks is, “where are you in this story?”

So, the differences matter a lot. Where a riddle tests cleverness, a parable tests the heart.  Where a riddle hides meaning, a parable reveals meaning. A riddle has one right answer. A parable has layered truth. A riddle ends when it's solved. Parable begins when it's received. A riddle appeals to the mind. A parable invites the soul. So, when Jesus taught in parables and not riddles, he wasn't trying to confuse people.

[00:03:00] He was protecting intimacy. Parables are going to expose. Those hungry, those who are ready, they are gonna lean in.  Truth slips past pride basically. And a parable's gonna invite relationship, not performance. As He said, whoever has ears let them hear. Not whoever is smart enough solve this.

In other words, a riddle says, try harder. A parable says, come closer. Isn't that awesome? So back to why I would call how He spoke to me as parables because they truly were an invitation into a different way of relating to God.

Here's how my day started.

My mind was on overdrive racing down productivity lane. I was painfully aware that I wasn't at peace, but I couldn't yet identify which lie I was abiding in. 

[00:04:00] And then as I began inventorying my thoughts, I realized something sobering. Defeat had quietly settled in. Without even realizing it, I had slipped into an abiding place that started singing a very familiar song.

You should be further by now. Others are being rewarded. Why not you? Maybe you've missed something. Maybe you know that song too. There's urgency in it, but not the healthy kind. This urgency, it's mixed with accusation. You're not doing enough fear, you're behind and heaviness. The joy is gone, and suddenly every task feels like an obligation instead of obedience.

And honestly, I almost quit, not because God told me to, but because comparison was louder than calling, 

[00:05:00] and then the thought came clear as day, I seriously cannot keep living this way. I know this place and it's not healthy. So, I did the only healthy thing I knew to do in the moment I prayed. It wasn't a polished prayer.

It wasn't a strategic one. It was a desperate one. I said, Lord, I need to hear you on this. Have I missed it? Am I on the wrong track? And then I heard it, not correction, not redirection, just no change. Only believe, and I will be honest. I pushed back a little. Okay, Lord. I know that you have told me that like a million times, but what if this time, I really did miss it?!

I need you to speak in a way that I know without a doubt that it's you. And that's when he gave me two phrases,

[00:06:00] Not instructions, parables. Now before I tell you what those were,

I would like to welcome you back to the Redeemed Perfectionist Podcast. I'm your host, Lenee’ Pezzano, and I'm happy to report that I'm still being perfected, I'm gonna give you a peek under the hood because I want you to know that you're not alone in this struggle. I've been walking with Jesus for 31 years, and for much of that time I was trying to produce outcomes that only he could because I believed success and acceptance were measured by achievement, but those standards, they weren't from him and neither was the way I was trying to meet them.

What I want you to notice is this, God did not respond to my fear with pressure. He responded with presence. He didn't say try harder. He didn't say, here's the plan. He didn't say, you're behind. 

[00:07:00] He actually reassured me because this is His pattern. God will often reassure before he explains. And as I sat with that, something else came to mind.

Can you think of anyone in scripture who responds the opposite way? Somebody who leads with pressure instead of reassurance? How about Pharaoh? Pharaoh never reassured the Israelites. When they cried out, he didn't draw near, he demanded more bricks with less straw draw.

That is the voice of a task master, and I want to be really clear here. I am not talking about people per se. And I'm not saying every hard thing is the enemy. I'm talking about voices because scripture tells us we're in a very real battle over influence and 

[00:08:00] voices reveal their source by how they motivate.

Let me say that again. Voices reveal their source by how they motivate. So, the task master says, “Do more or else, or you're behind or prove it if you're really called, this would be working by now.” And this is where perfectionism quietly partners with the wrong voice because perfectionism believes pressure means I'm serious about this and I care.  Exhaustion proves I'm faithful. If I let up, everything's going to fall apart. So, when a task master voice shows up, perfectionism doesn't resist it…it collaborates with it.  But that voice does not belong to the Father. 

[00:09:00] God's voice says, don't be afraid. I am with you. Only believe. Stay close. Let me carry what you can't.

One produces fear, the other produces trust. Remember, Matthew 11:28-30 says, My yoke is easy. So, if the voice you're responding to is heavy, frantic, or demanding…pause. Because God's voice is quieter.  It will always lead you toward trust, not terror.  That's part of what I want you to learn and recognize in this series: that the heart of God is always redemptive.  Even in moments like I described, where we are off track, if you will.

When we misunderstand His heart, we misinterpret His silence, His slowness, and even His kindness. 

[00:10:00] And that brings me to the parables He gave me and how they completely reframed the season I'm in.

Are you ready for them? He said, “it's like paste” and “let me carry the groceries.” Yeah. Okay. Now I did know it was Him, but of course I was like, what? And then I had to lean in and, you know, let Him take me further into what they meant.

And that is what we're going to unpack in the next episode. But before we do, I wanna help your heart settle into something first.

If you are doing what God asked you to do, and it doesn't look rewarded yet, if you are tempted to assume delay means disobedience or that you've done something wrong. Or if you feel anxious, troubled, or heavy, while you're trying to be faithful, I want you to hear this clearly.

God's not distant from you, and he is not disappointed in you, and he's not 

[00:11:00] waiting for you to prove something.  He's with you. Perfectionists often interpret God's timing through the lens of performance. If the blessing hasn't come, I must be failing. If I were more mature, He'd release it. If I could just figure out what I'm missing.

That my friend has been my life, but sometimes His greatest act of care is actually staying close before He tells you what's next. 

God does not withhold blessings to test your worthiness. He prepares you because he intends to bless you. 

Delay is not evaluation and waiting is not disqualification.

Ugh, we are just getting started. Friend, if you don't wanna miss where this is going, be sure to subscribe, maybe even share this with a friend. And there's a community of sweet 

[00:12:00] folks like you who share the struggles we discuss here. It's called the Redeemed Perfectionist Facebook community, and you can find the link in the show notes

In the next episode, we'll unpack the parables, and then we will talk about what they mean for how we move forward without striving.

Until then, stay close... 'cause God already is!