The Beautiful Mess: Embracing Your Perfectly Imperfect Life

 Join GatherHood founder Hannah as she gets real about the messy, beautiful journey of living an authentic Christian life. In this soul-stirring episode, Hannah shares her own vulnerable story of how getting sick forced her to confront the myth of perfect balance and embrace a more grace-filled approach to daily life. 

Through personal stories (including some entertaining bathroom Bible-reading confessions!), scripture insights, and practical wisdom, Hannah tackles the overwhelming pressure many women face to "do it all perfectly." She dives deep into Matthew 11:28-30, offering a fresh perspective on what Jesus really means by "rest" and unpacks how His invitation to come as we are applies to our modern-day struggles with mom guilt, social media comparison, and rigid religious expectations. 

Whether you're folding laundry while listening, dealing with toddler tantrums, or wondering if you remembered to turn off the stove, this episode reminds you that your perfectly imperfect life is exactly where God wants to meet you. Hannah shares practical tips for reframing your mindset and celebrates the beauty of "imperfect progress." 

Don't miss this encouraging conversation about trading perfectionism for grace and finding God in the beautiful chaos of everyday moments. Plus, stay tuned for an exciting announcement about Hannah's upcoming authentic "day in the life" content featuring the real (and entertaining!) Chiaramonte Chaos. 

Check out the latest SisterHood study: Grace in the Gray! Launching May 1st! This 6-week devotional will guide you through navigating friendship in a world of extremes! 

Perfect for: Busy women seeking encouragement and permission to embrace their beautiful mess
Key Scripture (s): Matthew 11:28-30, Philippians 4:6-7, 2 Corinthians 12:9 

#GatherHoodPodcast #EmbraceYourMess #ChristianWomen #MomLife #GraceOverPerfection 

Transcript

Welcome. Welcome to the Gatherhood podcast. I'm your host, Hannah, and the founder of Gatherhood. And I'm so excited to be back this week. We have missed a couple weeks on the pod mainly because of sickness.

My whole family has been rocked with sickness the past few weeks, and my goodness, it has really forced me to embrace my perfectly imperfect life. And I am one that strives to just do all of the things and do them all well. And these past few weeks with kids that aren't sleeping, me not being in my normal schedule, my husband also not feeling great. Like, it's just it's been rocky, and it's not our normal. And so this episode is gonna kinda be a reflection of that.

I do want to blame all of the day in the life videos that I've been watching on Instagram. Like, I don't know. These social media influencers, they have us so hooked on how we all should be living, and it's not true. Like, we are all so different. We all have different routines.

We all have different purposes and drives, and we're all so different. Thank goodness, right, for that uniqueness. But I think when we look at that type of content, it can often make us feel like we are doing the wrong thing or that we need to be doing something better. And I also I I blame some churches too. I blame ministry for some of this because I think church can make us feel like we are in such a box that it can make Christianity look so regimented and almost like robotic.

Like, we have to have a routine in the morning of daily quiet time. We need to, you know, say our prayers before bed. We need to have a journaling time. Like, all of that is it can seem so scripted. And I think with today's episode, I really wanna take a step back and look at this balance and this imperfect life that I have, again, been forced to embrace the past few weeks and just look at how we really should be meeting God in the everyday ordinary moments.

And it's in those ways that it can be effortless and fluid. And that's what God wants from us from being believers. And we all have the light, right? Like we all have the Holy Spirit. Those of us who believe in Him, we've got it.

And so it really doesn't take much to shine. And so that is where I'm coming from in this episode. I am gonna break down the myth of this perfect balance and share my personal struggles. We'll also look at some different scriptures and we're just gonna get super candid. This episode doesn't really have a script.

I know in the past couple episodes I have been pretty like formal in my podcasting, but we are going to take a different approach today. So I am in my new podcasting studio. I did some painting in my home and it turned out really awesome. I had my kids help me. There's like handprints that they did on the wall.

I've got some cute little decor over here to my right. And it's just like a fun space to really, I don't know, sit down and chitchat. Before I was in this space, I was in my closet. And that was fine, but, like, this is way more of my way more my vibe. Okay.

So let's talk about this perfect balance and the myth of it. My personal struggle with, like, the do it all mentality. I'm the type of person that I strive to get a set schedule for every single day for every single task. And my word, that is just not possible. One, because I have kids.

Right? And like kids are the most unpredictable things in the entire world. But two, just like life happens and we have to be willing to to be flexible. And we do have a saying in my house to be like a bendy straw, to just be flexible, be able to pivot and move around in whatever ways you need because it can get it can get crazy over here with with all of these all of these kids. But even without kids.

Right? Like, it's so hard sometimes to feel the pressure to do it all. And I think as modern women, we feel it even more. And when I'm feeling completely overwhelmed by all of the different plates that I'm trying to spin in the air at the same time. I have the kids, the house, this gatherhood ministry, trying to be a really supportive wife and a really, really good friend.

I have to force myself to think of these words that Jesus says in Matthew. He says, come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Now I do not want you to think rest is like physical lay down, close your eyes, or catch up on your latest Netflix binge. Like, I think what Jesus is talking about here is mental rest. Peace about your decisions.

Rest from the guilt and the pressure. He is not saying come to me when you've got it all figured out or come to me once you've checked everything off your to do list. He's literally inviting us to come in through our messiness, in our exhaust exhaustion. And if you haven't like washed your hair in four days, like those are the moments that God is waiting for us. And He is, He has open arms.

And He also says His yoke is easy and His burden is light. Now, let's be real. Late night work sessions, keeping up on our house tasks, we have our family schedules, we have paying late car registrations, we have diaper changes, handling tantrums, and trying to remember if we left the stove on. Like, all of that doesn't exactly feel light right now, and that's just any moment of the day. I have all of those different things happening in my mind.

But I think what Jesus is telling us that we weren't meant to carry all of these expectations and pressures alone. We were not meant to achieve this perfect balance that social media and society tries to tell us. And I don't know. I'm just thinking out loud here because true balance, it's not about doing everything perfectly. Maybe it's really about, like, laying our burdens down at Jesus's feet and then letting him show us what really matters in each season.

And I think it's important to note that there are so many different seasons throughout our lives, like seasons of having kids, seasons of being married, seasons of being happily married, seasons of where your marriage is hard, seasons of being single, like all of those. And then there's seasons within those seasons. Right? Like and and that's what Jesus is telling us. Like, he's gonna show us what our priorities are with all of those facets of our seasons.

There is a quote from Lisa Turkest. She is a phenomenal author, speaker. She says that there is beautiful, there's a beautiful thing called imperfect progress. It is slow steps of progress wrapped in grace. Grace, grace, grace, gatherhood, that is our word of the year.

And a relatable example here is sometimes my quiet time with God happens while I'm folding laundry, and that's okay. Sometimes it is when I'm at my school pickup for my kids. Honestly, sometimes I read the Bible while I'm on the toilet because I have the time and it's just me in there. Most of actually not really that often, but you know what I mean. I get a little bit of solitude.

And why not open the Bible and read a couple of verses while I have the time? I'm gonna get vulnerable here, the mom guilt. Like, isn't it insane? And you think when you become a mom, you're like superwoman and it's not gonna get to you. That's how I was at least.

I was like, I'm not gonna feel mom guilt. I'm gonna have so much peace about every decision I make, and that is not the case at all. I often compare how I mom to how my mom mom, and that's not fair to her or to me. Like, my mom did a fantastic job raising me as a as a young girl and then as a, you know, a teenager and then going off to college. And she was just our relationship was so solid.

She was my best friend and she was my everything. She did pass away, almost a year ago, for those of you who don't know that. But I think that could also be part of the mom guilt. Let like outside of society and social media and comparing ourselves to other moms in our lives, like having the pressure of how your mom was a mom and wanting to do the same thing or wanting to do it differently. Like, there's so many different ways that this mom guilt can manifest in us.

In addition to this mom guilt that I have from my mom doing such a great job is now that my mom has passed, like, I'm the mom now. Like, there's I'm the mom. I'm it. I'm I'm the one that these boys are gonna call for help, or I'm the one that is there for that needs to know what to do with coughs and, you know, like sickness. And I don't have another mom to call that's older or wiser or has been through this.

And I mean, I do have other moms, but it's not the same. You know, there's nothing like your mom to be able to call on. It's hard now being the mom of the family, and the amount of pressure can be unbearable at times. Continuing on this theme of grace here, I have a quote from Priscilla Shriver. She says, give grace as often as you can.

God keeps on giving it to us, and we don't deserve it either. So we really I I personally really need to give myself grace. Again, it's our gather hood word of the year, and my gosh, I have learned so much about grace looking at the six week devotional that I recently put out, on grace and finding it in the gray areas of our world. Like, there's so much extremes. There's so many extremes in our world right now, and how do we find the gray areas of of that grace?

And the devotional, I learned so much about grace. It honestly started as a, like, a passion project for me because I knew I needed to extend more grace to some people in my life and then maybe set up more healthy boundaries with other people. And a lot of that was because of my mom passing. Like, someone passing that's so close to you can bring up all kinds of stuff. And one of those things was, who do I want in my life and who do I not want in my life?

And how do I balance that? And what does God say about it? What does scripture say about it? And then what am I gonna do with that information? So this devotional was honestly one of the best things I've ever done, in my life.

Like, I just learned so much, and I learned so much. I wanted to make it available to everyone because I did a lot of a lot of solid work, a lot of solid study, and, I think it turned out pretty cool. So if you're interested, it's gonna be available on May 1, which is tomorrow. So be sure to check out the website, and then it's also gonna be available on Amazon here in a couple of weeks too. So definitely check that out.

Okay. So let's talk about how I have embraced this beautiful mess and some practical tips for, like, how I have reframed my mindset. I think the biggest thing I am doing is to celebrate what I did do instead of beating myself up beating myself up over what I did not do in that day. And this can be anything. This can be the big things or the little things.

For me today, I made my bed, and it looked so cozy. I cannot wait to jump in that here in a little while. Like, it's it there's nothing about being productive in the morning and making your bed. Another thing. I did some laundry.

Woo hoo. Go me. I tackled pick up and drop off with all four boys. I made dinner. Like, all of those little things, and I know some of you who might not be, like, CEOs of the home.

This might not all resonate with you in terms of, like, the house tasks, but I do want you as a career mama to also look at your day. And maybe there's a project that you've been putting off and you don't wanna do it. And you're finally like, okay. I'm gonna start tackling this this task list for for this project. That's something small that you did today.

Or maybe you just answered one email and maybe emails are really tricky for you to answer. Like, those little things really, really matter. Maybe just showing up on time was a big deal. And and I I I want us all to pump ourselves up and maybe feel a little bit of pride. Like, there's obviously, a limit for pride.

But I just I want us all to kind of reframe how we're looking at our days. And I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. I know mom is listening. You get it. You get the mom guilt.

You get embracing the beautiful mess. You get looking at your day and being like, I didn't do this one thing and that's what I'm harping on and that's what's keeping me up at night. You totally get it. And I wanna remind you that God gives us His grace. His grace is sufficient.

Even if you did nothing today, you're good. God is still there and He's still gonna be there in the morning. I also really, really want to encourage you that you are doing better than you think you are. And I mean that from like the deepest deepest depths of my heart. God sees us where we're at.

My favorite name of God that I studied in the month month of March was Elroy. And Elroy means God sees you. Again, online, we can be different people. I'm definitely a type of person who has had different pockets of friends, and I it was almost like I had they were, like, different ingredients, and I didn't want those ingredients to mix into the same recipe. And that's my bad.

Right? Like, that's not me living authentically, but God sees me even as I'm one that is more of a friend collector and not necessarily a friend measure. And I think thinking of Elroy is it should be comforting to you. It shouldn't be like he's watching you because he it's more of a comfort. It's more of a peace.

Like, you don't have to put on an act. You don't have to hide certain facets of your life from him. This striving for balance and the impracticality of it. It's impossible. Even if you're manifesting and meditating and dreamscaping and vision boarding and getting up at 05:00 in the morning.

Like, you can try all of the things. You're not gonna get there. But with God, there's grace, and it's okay if you don't get it all done. I am going to try and be more authentic on Instagram. So if you want to see my own beautiful mess, definitely be sure to follow me over there.

It's at HannahCarmonti. I'm gonna be posting more day in the life content. It's gonna be messy. It's gonna be authentic, but I think we all need that. I also think it's gonna be fun and also really funny because you guys are going to see some of the Caramonti chaos.

And I mean, I think it's the best. So I think you guys will find it pretty entertaining as well. Alright. I'm gonna go ahead and wrap up our time today with a quick prayer. Dear God, thank you so much for your grace.

We've got it, and it's sufficient. And I know I feel it right now in this moment. I feel your grace. I feel I just I feel your presence. And I thank you for this gatherhood community.

I thank you that we can be vulnerable and open, and it's just it's a great place to be right now. All of that is because of your hand. You are doing some serious work in this room, in this space, and I give it all to you. We all give it all to you, and we just surrender our lives, And we thank you for your love, your compassion, your grace, and for being Elroy for seeing us. In Jesus' name.

Amen. Alright, everybody. Thank you so much for joining today. I do hope you enjoyed the unscripted style. If you did, let me know.

Head over to Instagram. Do hashtag gatherhood podcast or just follow me, and, there'll be a lot more content heading your way. Again, it's a beautiful mess, and we're all just figuring out how to truly embrace it. Alright, Gatherhood. We'll see you next week in the Gatherhood.