The Power of Going First: When Sisters Lead With Their Hearts

In this powerful episode, Hannah opens up about the transformative power of vulnerability in sisterhood. Following her recent appearance on the Career Driven Mama podcast, she shares personal insights about loss, friendship, and the courage it takes to show up authentically. Through the profound example of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, we explore what true vulnerability looks like and how it differs from oversharing. Whether you're leading a small group or seeking deeper connections, this episode offers practical ways to create safe spaces for real conversations. Plus, Hannah shares her favorite follow-up practices (including why she's a "phone call girly"!) and discusses how vulnerability in leadership can lead to breakthrough moments for others. Join us for an honest conversation about showing up as our true selves, even when we can't control the outcome.

Let's continue the convo on Instagram! Use #GatherHoodPodcast and tell what's one thing that helps you open up with your friends?

Check out our SisterHood Program Resources here

Transcript

Welcome. Welcome to the Gatherhood podcast. I'm your host, Hannah, and the founder of Gatherhood. And today we're diving into something that can feel scary, but is absolutely essential for authentic sisterhood. We're talking vulnerability.

The reason I wanted to talk about vulnerability is I was recently a guest on a podcast called the Career Driven Mama podcast, and me and my friend Allison and her former boss, Hillary, sat down and talked about community, specifically for working moms. It is so difficult for working moms to find fellowship and to find community because they're busy working. And the time that they don't have at work, they don't necessarily want to spend with friends. They want to spend it with their family. So it's hard for working mamas, their busy schedules.

It's just, it's tough. And so we talked about that and I really opened up a lot about my, my mom passing about a year ago, about kind of some friendships that I have lost over the years and the responsibility that I have taken in the loss of those friendships and how I'm hoping to, you know, really work out on myself in in the future. And it was just such a fun conversation with these two gals. They are such powerhouses. And it just kinda got me thinking, like, what I want for our sisterhood is vulnerability.

And me sitting down with Hillary and Allison, I was vulnerable and it was scary because I didn't know how I was gonna be perceived. And I also, I was talking to Hillary and Allison, but I knew I was talking to a greater audience, obviously on a podcast and there's fear in that as well. And so I just thought it would be really great to just talk about how to talk about our struggles and how to talk about our messiness and our mistakes to other women. There is a quote by Brene Brown and it is vulnerability is not winning or losing. It's having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.

And that's kind of exactly what I was talking about. Like, I showed up to this podcast interview. I was vulnerable. I opened up about different seasons of my life, and I didn't really know how it was gonna be perceived. And I kinda it's out of my control.

And so that's really what I want for our sisterhood is to be able to be vulnerable, even when we have no control over how our vulnerability is going to be perceived. Okay. So let's start with understanding vulnerability, because I think it's important to talk about the distinction between being vulnerable and like oversharing, because there's definitely a difference. Right? I feel like at this point in my life, I know a couple of overshares and they're going off in my head right now.

So there's there's a big difference. Right? The overshares we know, like, we we we don't want to be those people, but it happens. Vulnerability comes from a place of need. It comes from a place of, like, softness, I think.

At least that's what I think of when I think of my own vulnerability. It comes from a place of wanting to be seen and wanting to be heard, but also not directly asking for it. Like, it's a little bit of meekness. And I think meekness often can be seen as weakness under it is so not. It is brittle strength.

And that's kind of how I feel vulnerability is. It is having that strength and having that control over yourself and your feelings and your thoughts and your emotions, but also being willing to just open up. There's a scripture, James chapter five, verse 16, therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. I can sometimes get scared by thinking I need to tell my sisterhood my sins. And I don't think we need to.

Right? Like, I don't think that is what is needed of believers. I think what is needed is to have that conversation with God and to confess our sins and to do better next time. But I don't think it's necessary in terms of our walk with God to tell our sisterhood, but I do think it's helpful for the sisterhood to grow. And I think by, by one person sharing their vulnerability, their stories, their messiness, it just kind of opens up the conversation for more women to feel comfortable to do the same thing.

There is another quote by Brene Brown. True belonging doesn't require you to change who you are. It requires you to be who you are, and that's exactly what we're talking about. A big part of vulnerability is knowing who you are and being confident in that. I do wanna look at how Jesus modeled vulnerability.

We're gonna look at the story of the in the Garden Of Gethsemane. We have one of the most powerful examples of vulnerability in the Garden Of Gethsemane. So I want you to picture this. Jesus, knowing what was about to happen, deliberately chose to bring his closest friends with him in his darkest moments. He didn't try to handle it alone.

He looked at Peter, James, and John and said something incredibly raw and honest. My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me. In this moment, we see Jesus fully God, yet fully human, showing us what true vulnerability looks like. He fell with his face to the ground, praying with such intensity that his sweat was like drops of blood.

He wasn't hiding his anguish or pretending to have it all together. He was real. He was raw and honest about his struggles. Three times he prayed, asking if there was another way while still surrendering to God's will. So what he's doing here is he's pleading with God.

He, he doesn't want to die on the cross. And he's having this, this battle with his father, trying to almost negotiate with him and, and just trying to see if there's, if there's a loophole. And this is such a beautiful example of our sisterhood because it shows us that even Jesus, our perfect example, he chose to be vulnerable with his close friends. He showed us that we can be both vulnerable and strong, and that asking for support is not weakness. And that bringing our raw emotions before both God and trusted friends is deeply spiritual.

I do wanna touch on that trusted friends piece there. We oftentimes, I think, put up such a guard with people we meet. And I I'm the I'm the same way because I think we've all been burned by friendships. And I think it's such a shame when those friendships are rooted in the church or when they're rooted in faith. And it happens.

Right? Like, we're all broken. I've said this a million times. We're all broken. No one is perfect.

And with trusted friends, it just takes time to get to know people. And so you might think a friend is trustworthy and you find out they're not, and that's okay. Move on to the next friend or set up some healthy boundaries. You have to still wear your heart on your sleeve. Like just because you've had friendships fall to the wayside is not a reason for you to not show up and be vulnerable with the next set of friends that you are going to meet.

I also want you to think that if Jesus in his perfection chose vulnerability, how much more should we embrace it in our sisterhood? This wasn't just a one time thing. Jesus consistently modeled vulnerability throughout his ministry, showing us that authentic leadership and true community requires us to drop our masks and be real with each other. So again, vulnerability, like it's, it's scary, it's hard, but when we do it, it can be refreshing. It can be deep.

It can be like a soul searching experience with, with another, with another sister. So let's talk about some practical steps for fostering vulnerability. Galatians six:two says, bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ. As leaders in our sisterhood, I think there's really some, some really practical ways for you as leaders to be vulnerable. And the first is be vulnerable.

Be the first one to be vulnerable in your group. I know that's hard, but be an example and be open and honest with your prayer requests. I know, this can be again, very scary to say, you know, what you need prayer for, but by being that person as the leader to step out and to open up, you know, maybe a leaf of, of your life and have to share something big and something that you don't have figured out that is setting an example and it's setting a foundation for the rest of your sisterhood to also be that authentic and that vulnerable. And then this is such a good one that I do all the time because I am not, you know, in full time ministry and I'm not a pastor and I didn't go to seminary school. Admit when you do not have the answers.

The Bible is complicated. Walking the the Christian walk is complicated, and no one has all the answers. Not no one on this entire earth has all the answers about this faith, and that's okay. And I think there's so much grace that comes with saying, I don't know. And then there are some common vulnerability barriers.

So the biggest one I think is fear of judgment. Right? Like we're all, we're all aware that this happens and people are judgy. Everyone is judgy. And especially as women, I think we are a little bit more critical of other women.

And then sometimes, gather hood, like Christians can also be judgy. And so this is a common fear and I get it and I have felt it and I don't want it to be the reason you don't open up. Christine Kane says the presence of fear is a sure sign that you're trusting in your own strength. So by being scared of what other people are thinking, that's of the devil right there. Like that's going to sit that that shows that you are doing, or you are saying what you're saying or doing what you're doing for other people.

And that's not what this is about. That is not being vulnerable. And then there's also a lot of hurt from the church. There's a lot of trauma that has happened in churches. There's a lot of friendships that have fallen apart that are attached to churches.

There's just, and again, I've said it already once in this episode, we're all imperfect. We're all broken. And so there are broken people also leading churches. There are broken people who are attending churches. And so no wonder there's hurt because we're all messed up.

We're all trying to figure it out. But again, do not let, let that be a fear of yours to not be vulnerable is church hurt. I have had to come such a long ways in this type of thinking because there's been a lot of hurt in in my life. And I've kind of shared a little bit of that on, on the pod and you kind of just have to shake it off, right? Like life's tough.

You just gotta put your helmet on and go on to the next obstacle. And it's not easy. I think what's easier is to get pent up on that hurt and to have that be your motivator. And what's harder is to become a wolf and to look at that past hurt as something that's going to make you stronger. Another barrier is perfectionism.

I think by being vulnerable and opening up about what we need help with or what about something that's not going right, we're saying that we're not perfect. And that sometimes can be really scary to people. And I, again, I don't want that to be a barrier of vulnerability. So let's talk about some practical takeaways. First thing I want to encourage all of you to do is to really start small.

It's not necessary to walk into your next sisterhood gathering and just go all out on vulnerability. That could be great. It could really, really serve you, but it could also be maybe a little bit of an oversharing in that, in that way. Like if you haven't done that before and you show up and you're ready to go and you're revved up and you're ready to share all the things that can be taken as being an overshare. And so I want you to just start small and maybe look at the high of your week and the low of your week and share those moments.

As a sisterhood, we also have really helpful prompts. My favorite one that I use all the time is in one word, describe where you were at today. I absolutely love this for a couple of reasons. One, it makes people think because you don't just wanna say good or you don't just wanna say fine. You wanna come up with a good word, And that means you have to think about it and be intentional and really kind of put your life on a microscope for the past twenty four hours or so and figure out how do I really, really feel?

And that can be such a great way to pinpoint what you're feeling, what you're experiencing, and then also how your sisterhood can help you as you share what that word is. And then there's some really great opportunities to do some follow-up. We can do text check ins. We can do prayer partnerships. Like there's so many ways we can follow-up on our sisterhood being vulnerable.

My favorite is just those text check ins. Like it doesn't have to be in the big group text. It can just be individual, you know, check ins on, Hey, I know you were, you were feeling disappointed or you were feeling embarrassed or you were feeling just really sad at our last gathering. And I want to be there for you. How can I be there for you?

So use those prompts to then follow-up with some texts. And then also give a girl a phone call. I am such a phone call girly. I know I'm rare. I am.

There's not a lot of us, but man, a good phone call doesn't have to be long. A five minute check-in, a three minute check-in, but just, I love to hear people's voices and I'm not good at texting people back. So if you call me and if you call me at the right time or my phone is in my hand, I will answer and we will have, we'll have a conversation, but texting, I don't know anyone in your thirties. Like, I want to be friends with so many people, but I won't text you back. And what does that really say about me and my wants to be your friend?

Right? Like, and I think there's so many people that are like that. So anyways, yes. Follow-up with, with those different practices. My favorite scripture here is as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

Again, it's that I share, you share, let's go together. Let's be on this journey together, and you're not alone. I'm not alone, and there's so much goodness and strength in that. In our sisterhood groups, I have really, really, really tried to make it so clear that our sisterhood gatherings are a safe space. Like what, what one girl says will not be repeated to anyone else.

Cause it just it's for that space. And so as leaders of our sisterhoods, I really think that needs to be the baseline for everybody. And that is something I put in the leader playbook, but I did just want to reference it on the podcast too, because it's so important that women feel safe to open up and share. And then in our monthly pockets, there are natural vulnerability moments baked into our discussion guides and baked into our activities. And so I really want you as leaders to use those opportunities to not necessarily just ask the question that I posed in, in the book, but to ask a follow-up question and to really listen to what your girls are saying so that you know what that follow-up question needs to be.

And so you also know how to be there for your sisterhood. All right, Gatherhood, let's go ahead and wrap up this episode with a question. I do want to know what's one thing that helps you open up to a friend. Is it texting conversations? Is it a phone call?

Is it getting coffee? You know, what, what is it that makes you feel safe to share your messiness in life? If you are looking for ways to dive deeper in your friendships, We do have some fantastic resources. We have our sisterhood leader leader playbook. We have our sisterhood member companion that link together to provide a full year of fellowship.

And that is just like, it's the best thing in the world to be able to meet with your girls at least once a month, get vulnerable, and also dive into the word of God together. Like, it's so fruitful. So take a look at the link below in the in the, description and you can get yourself, some of our sisterhood resources. The month of May is still gonna be kind of a tribute to my mother. Next week's episode, we're gonna be looking at the power of prayer and specifically how to deal with when our prayers aren't answered the way that we want them to be.

And my specific example to this is my my mom passing. Man, did I pray for a miracle, And that miracle did not happen the way I wanted it to. This episode was all about vulnerability in terms of how I share my mom's story and share, you know, my mess ups in the past and how I have found vulnerability with my sisterhood group, how I want you to find vulnerability with your sisterhood group. And then next week, we'll kind of dive deeper into how to kind of be vulnerable with God and ask him for what we need and also how to be okay with his answer, whether it's the answer we want or not. Okay, Gatherhood.

This was fun. Thank you so much for tuning in. I do want you to remember your vulnerability might be someone else's breakthrough. I'm gonna say that again. Your vulnerability might be someone else's breakthrough.

Alright. We'll see you next week in the Gatherhood.