EP10: Executive Presence, Confidence & Being Seen with Sarah Brummitt

In this episode of Elevate, host Sue Reeve is joined by Sarah Brummitt - executive coach, leadership development specialist, and one of only two people in the world to hold the highest level of image consulting qualification in both the UK and the USA. 

Sarah makes a deceptively simple case: being excellent at your job isn't the same as being seen as excellent, and closing that gap is what executive presence is really about.

It's a must-listen for any high-achieving woman who has ever been talked over, overlooked, or left out of the conversation. Sarah shares how presence can be learned rather than simply inherited (she was once an excruciatingly shy child with a stutter), the difference between commanding attention and demanding it, and practical, repeatable ways to be heard in the room and on screen.

What You'll Learn in This Episode:

• Why being excellent at your job isn't the same as being seen as excellent
• What executive presence really is and why it can be learned, not just inherited
• How the most impactful people command attention without ever demanding it
• Why your personal brand is simply the best version of the real you - whether or not anyone's watching
• How to be heard in remote meetings, including the art of interrupting with elegance
• The one thing to prepare before your next big meeting. Sarah's 15-second talking-points challenge

Connect with Sarah Brummitt:

• Website: www.sarahbrummitt.com
• Books: Remote Presence (2020)
• LinkedIn: Connect with Sarah on LinkedIn

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Above and beyond is our normal.

Ready to transform your life? Book a complimentary consultation with Sue Reeve, Founder of Consider it Done, and discover how we can help you thrive:
Complimentary Consultation with Sue 🗓️

Website: www.consider-it-done.co.uk
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/consider-it-done

Transcript

[00:19] Host:
Welcome to Elevate, the podcast where high-achieving professionals like you discover the power of reclaiming time, gaining back control and living more fully. I'm Sue Reeve, founder of Consider It Done, and in each episode of this podcast mini-series, we'll explore how, with the right support, you can unlock opportunities which allow you to focus, stress less and ultimately live the life you've been striving for without making sacrifices for your success. My guest today is Sarah Brummitt, executive coach, leadership development specialist and one of only two professionals in the world who hold the highest level of qualification in image consulting from both the UK and the USA. Sarah, welcome to Elevate.

[01:10] Sarah Brummitt:
It's a pleasure. I'm pleased to be invited. Thank you for having me.

[01:14] Host:
I'd love to ask you to start off with this simple premise that being excellent at your job isn't the same as being seen as being excellent. And I'm sure, you know, that there's there's a pattern that our listeners will recognize here being talked over, maybe overlooked in a discussion, not invited to take part, or, you know, maybe not taken at quite full value. Does this gap still show?

[01:41] Sarah Brummitt:
The short answer is yes. And the reason for that is because if I reflect on my experience, both professionally and personally, it's one of those things that I wish someone had told me as I was getting started. And what I mean by that is that getting that technical competence and that experience and expertise, which gets you so far, quite understandably, we think, well, that's what I lean into because that's what got me here. But what I didn't realize was that's great, but that's not going to get you where you need to go. And that constant leaning into my strengths and those strengths not working is something that I think is an experience a lot of very successful women and men go through. And so unless and until we reach the point where we realize we need a different skill set, we end up bumping up against a brick wall and it doesn't get better. And consequently, what then happens is either I'm miserable because I can't get past someone who doesn't like me. So I'm going to leave or I'm going to stay where I am and get more angry and resentful. Or I'm going to work harder and harder and then get really frustrated and burnt out and I still won't get the promotions that I want.

[02:56] Host:
So I'm really interested in this idea of presence. Walking into the room or joining a call, you can immediately tell who amongst the people that you are with a real presence, an executive presence. Is that something that you learn or is that something that, you know, people just sort of have.

[03:18] Sarah Brummitt:
Well, some people will definitely naturally have it. If I think about my own journey through life, this is something that I have distinctly and intentionally learned. So when I was a little girl, I was excruciatingly shy. I couldn't look adults in the eye. Not a chance. And I had a stutter. And my favorite thing to do is play with dollies in the corner on my own. And I was very happy doing that for years and years. And then what I realized was this probably isn't going to work for me. I didn't want to be seen. I didn't want to be heard. I wanted to be left alone. And I like reading books and all that sort of stuff. And then what I realized was, well, I'm not going to have many friends if I don't try and figure out a way to be a bit more interactive. And also, I'm a twin. And I have a sister who is the complete opposite of me. She was naturally gregarious, funny, engaging, naturally bright, good at all of the sports and everything, and attracted friends at the drop of her hat, whereas I was much more introverted. And so that life experience taught me that if I don't do something about this, this isn't going to serve me in my career because I was also really ambitious, but very quiet and silent and didn't look at people. So I really kind of worked out, I've got to put the heavy work in here. Otherwise, I'm going to be miserable as I get older, quite honestly. I think you have to reach a point where you're fed up with being miserable or unhappy about something and you want to do something about it. And it's not until you reach that point that you think, okay, now I really am ready to actively seek out help, to feel more comfortable, to feel more confidence. Confidence is the word. If we don't feel confident, I have a right to be in this room, I have a right to be in this conversation, I have value to add, and it's important that I add it. If I don't feel that, then it will definitely translate. The world in which you are operating, the meeting in which you are allegedly contributing will get that sense that you don't feel like you deserve to be here. And what will happen is other people, even with the best intents, will just kind of ignore you or railroad you or forget to introduce you or forget to bring you into the conversation. And before we know it, the meeting's done. And what did I do? Not much apart from a few emails.

[06:04] Host:
So going back to the idea of identifying the people in the room who have that presence, what is it about them that brings us that sense of presence?

[06:17] Sarah Brummitt:
What we're seeing and what we're hearing and experiencing are a number of things I would suggest. Number one, these aren't necessarily the first people to speak or the people that speak the most, but when they speak, people will listen. And so I call that people who command attention, but don't demand attention. Other things that I observe and that I experience are people who are curious, curiosity, people who ask questions. I'm not here with all the answers. I believe that questions are the answers to better thinking and better conversations. So they're not there with an agenda and a point to prove that they're with curiosity. They carry curiosity. They are exquisite listeners. And that's a skill set that particularly in 21st century workplaces, we are, and outside of work, you know, it's under attack. We're not listening most of the time. We're multitasking. There are people who are comfortable to admit, I don't know. It's that quiet, calm confidence of knowing who I am, what I bring, and also what I'm here to learn. You know, if you think you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room.

[07:33] Host:
Share with me your thoughts around that, that sort of personal brand element of presence.

[07:39] Sarah Brummitt:
When I talk about personal brand, number one, I always say it's the best version of the real you at work every day. So I'm really keen to dispel this notion of, well, personal brand is what you're doing when someone's looking. No, it's not. You're doing it whether or not someone's looking.

[08:00] Host:
The book, which I have sitting beside me here that you wrote in 2020 called Remote Presence. Did your predictions hold true? And where do senior people still seem to go wrong on screen?

[08:18] Sarah Brummitt:
So even down to things like in a corporate context, you know, people don't even turn their cameras on. It's a cameras off meeting. And my view is, if it's a cascade meeting, in other words, I've got stuff to tell you, do you know what, just do a short podcast. And then just send out a video and I may or may not watch it. But otherwise, shouldn't we be joining meetings in this environment remotely to have conversations? All of us need to do that. Does this meeting really need to be an hour? Do I really need 97 slides and a PowerPoint deck that I'll never get through that no one's looking at and can't read and understand anyway? There's a lot of really bad habits around that. Number two, prior to the meeting, be very clear in your own mind, what do I need to get out of this meeting? The third most important thing in the remote environment, learn to interrupt people. This is key. The reason why we don't interrupt is number one, because we don't know how. And then number two, because we know all of the data says that relationships suffer in this environment, we worry about damaging the relationship and we don't want to offend people. So we think, gosh, I've got to wait until this person stops talking. But that other person who's droning on doesn't realize that they've lost the room. And so what we have a responsibility to do is to help serve the conversation by elegantly interrupting them so that we can get back on topic, but at the same time, not make them feel shame or they've got it wrong. So the first easiest way to break someone's verbal flow is to use their name. What we are doing by using their name is getting them to stop. Rude. So I need to own that accountability: I've interrupted you. So what the audience and the person being interrupted realizes is, you know, and then you want to know why. And it's those things that when you line them up with practice mean you can get into any conversation and you can do so with elegance, but it's a practice and it's a skill, like every other one that we learn.

[10:42] Host:
For the senior professional woman who knows she's operating at the highest level, and she's done that graft to be at the table amongst the decision makers. And somehow the room hasn't caught up with her, you know, she, she's not feeling it. Could you give her one thing to do before her next big meeting?

[11:07] Sarah Brummitt:
I would encourage her to prepare some talking points that are about what has been achieved. There are some talking points that speak to what the value of your work and the work of your team represents inside your business. And we have to practice them so so it's not just writing them down. I literally mean: phones out, 15 seconds, give me your first one. Because if we don't back to that accountability word, embrace it and own it and feel comfortable with the language about it, we end up not doing it. I would encourage every single woman who's listening to this to start to identify some different ones and I challenge them you've got more than one. You've got a lot more in terms of talking points that will speak to the value, the success and the strengths that you're bringing to this business. We need to start articulating them in short, talking points.

[12:13] Host:
Sarah Brummitt, you bring so much value. Thank you so very much. I'm going to put your LinkedIn profile in our show notes and a link over to one or more of your very brilliant books so that people can find more for themselves. And thank you so much for the wisdom and the insights that you've shared with us right here today.

[12:34] Sarah Brummitt:
Absolute pleasure. Thank you for inviting me on.

[12:39] Host:
Thank you for joining me on this episode of Elevate. I hope it's inspired you to take the next step towards less stress and more fulfillment in your life. If you're ready to experience the transformative power of having an intelligent and friendly UK based team of virtual PAs from Consider It Done supporting your home life. Make one simple step and book a complimentary consultation with me today. We will explore the ways we could supercharge your life. Look out for the link below and let's make it happen.