The Hidden Costs of Staying Invisible

In this episode of the Unmuted CEO podcast, Tammy Maynard addresses the common fear of going live on social media. She explores the underlying reasons for this fear, emphasizing that it often stems from a fear of being seen and vulnerable. Tammy discusses the emotional and financial costs of staying invisible and provides a practical framework for overcoming the fear of going live, including starting in a safe environment, embracing imperfection, and celebrating small wins.

Takeaways:

• You're not alone in your fear of going live.
• The fear of going live is often about being seen.
• Staying invisible costs you both emotionally and financially.
• Going live with a small audience is still progress.
• Your first live will likely be awkward, and that's okay.
• Authenticity is more important than perfection.
• Create accountability by announcing your live ahead of time.
• Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small.
• Consistency is key to overcoming fear.
• Practice in a safe space before going public.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Promise Of Real Talk
• 0:42 The Freeze Before Going Live
• 1:47 Fear Of Being Seen Explained
• 3:02 The True Costs Of Staying Invisible
• 4:08 Sarah’s Story And Reframing Failure
• 5:16 Five-Step Framework To Go Live
• 8:19 What Consistency Creates
• 9:32 Action Steps And Community Invite
• 10:57 Closing Encouragement And Resources

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Welcome to the Unmuted CEO Podcast. I'm Tammy Maynard, and this is where Montpreneurs come to turn quiet potential into theme paid impact. If you've been building in silence, second guessing your voice, or wondering when you'll finally step into the spotlight, you're in the right place. Here there's no fluff, no perfection, just real conversations about visibility, confidence, and building a business that works with your life, not against it. So grab your coffee girl, your tea, or whatever keeps you sane today, and let's dive in. Okay, sis. When was the last time you thought about going live on social media? And then didn't. Maybe you opened the app. Maybe you even hovered over that go live button. Maybe you told yourself, okay, I'm really gonna do it this time. And then you didn't. And then you felt bad about it. You felt like a complete failure. You told yourself you're not cut out for this whole visibility thing. Well, today we're gonna talk about what's really happening when you freeze up like that. Because sis, I promise you, it's not what you think. Welcome back to the Unmuted CEO podcast. I'm Tammy Maynard. And today we're diving into something that I know affects so many of you. The fear of going live on social media. And before we go any further, I want you to know I have been exactly where you are. I have stared at that button, I have planned out what I was gonna say, I have even done my hair and makeup, opened the app, and then closed it. So if that's you, you ain't alone, you're not broken, you're not not cut out for this, you're just human. But here's what I learned after coaching so many women through this exact fear. The reason you're afraid to go live has very little to do with going live itself. What I mean is you think you're afraid of the technology, or afraid you'll say something wrong, or afraid nobody will show up. But underneath all of that, what you're really afraid of is being seen. And being seen means being vulnerable. And being vulnerable means there's a possibility you could be rejected, criticized, or even judged. And since if you grew up like I did, if you experienced bullying, if you were told you weren't good enough, if you learned that being visible meant being a target, then of course your nervous system is going to freak you out when you try to put yourself out there. Your fear isn't irrational. It's actually your brain trying to protect you. It's saying, hey, remember what happened last time you were too visible? Let's not do that again. But here's the problem. That survival mechanism that kept you safe as a child is now keeping you stuck as an entrepreneur. Let's talk about what it's costing you to stay invisible. And I don't just mean money. Although, yes, sis, staying invisible is absolutely costing you money. Because here's the truth. People buy from people they know, like, and trust. And if nobody knows you exist because you're not showing up, they can't buy from you. But beyond the money, let's talk about the emotional cost. The cost of watching other women, women who maybe aren't even as qualified as you, women who maybe don't have as good of an offer as you, showing up and succeeding, while you're sitting in the shadows wondering what else? The cost of going to bed every night, knowing you didn't do the thing you told yourself you were going to do. The cost of that quiet voice inside you that says you're playing small and you know it. I'll never forget one of my clients. We'll call her Sarah. Sarah came to me and said, Tammy, I've been working on my business for three years. Three long years. And I'm making maybe$500 a month. I know what I need to do. I know I need to show up. I know I need to go live, but I just can't. And we dug into it. And what we discovered was that Sarah had convinced herself that if she went live and nobody showed up, that would mean she was a failure. That would mean her business was a failure. That would mean she was a failure. So instead of risking that possibility, she just didn't do it. She stayed invisible. She stayed safe. And she stayed broke. Can you relate to that? Here's what I told Sarah. And here's what I'm telling you. Going live and having three people show up doesn't mean you're a failure, sis. It means you're building. It means you're doing the work. It means you're one step closer to the visibility that's going to transform your business. But staying invisible, that guarantees failure. Because you can't build a business that nobody knows exists. Okay, so let's get tactical. Because I could talk all day about mindset. But at the end of the day, you still have to actually do the thing. So here's my framework for going live when you're scared. Step one, start with live practice in a private group. This is what I have my clients do inside Unmuted and Singing, my membership community. We have a private Facebook group where you can practice going live with just us, with women who are on the same journey. Women who are not going to judge you. Women who are actually going to cheer you on. And here's the thing, it still counts as going live. You're still hitting that button. You're still showing up on video in real time. But you're doing it in a safe container first. You're building the muscle memory before you take it public. And I cannot tell you how many women have told me that first live in the private group was terrifying. But after I did it, I realized I didn't die. I actually did it. And that builds momentum, sis. Step two, give yourself permission to be imperfect. Sis, your first live is going to be awkward. It just is. Mine was, everyone else's was. You're going to say um too much, you're going to forget what you're saying in mid-sentence. You might accidentally end the live too early. And that's okay. Because the goal of your first live isn't to be perfect. The goal is to prove to yourself that you can do it. I want you to release this idea that you have to show up polished and professional with perfect lighting and a ring light and a script. You don't. You can literally go live from your car, your kitchen, from your closet. I've done all three. The people who are going to connect with you are not looking for perfection. They're looking for authenticity. They're looking for someone real. Step three, have a simple topic and a time limit. One of the biggest mistakes I see people make is trying to teach too much in their first live. They're like, I'm going to go live for an hour and cover my entire framework. No, sis. Start with five minutes. Pick one simple topic, like three things I do every morning to stay consistent in my business. Or the one mindset shift that changed everything for me. Have a beginning, a middle, and an end. Say what you're going to say, say it, and wrap it up. Done. You can always go longer in future lives, but for your first one, just focus on finishing. That's the win. Step four, announce it ahead of time. This creates accountability. Here's a little trick I use. I tell people I'm going live before I do it. I'll post a story that says going live in 30 minutes to talk about XYZ. And now I've created accountability. Because if I don't show up, people are gonna wonder where I went. And I'm way more likely to follow through when I've made a public commitment. Plus, it gives people a heads up so they can actually show up. Because remember, your goal isn't to have a huge audience on your first live. Your goal is to just do it. Step five, celebrate yourself immediately after. The second you end that live, I want you to celebrate, girl. I don't care if three people showed up. I don't care if you stumbled over all your words. You did the thing. Screenshot that moment. Post it, share it, tell people. I did my first live today and I'm so proud of myself. Because you should be. And then, and this is so important, do it again. The next day, the next week, whenever. Because the magic isn't in one live. The magic is in consistency. So let me tell you what happens when you start going live consistently. First, it gets easier. That first live is gonna feel like jumping out of a plane. The second one is still scary, but a little less. By the tenth one, you're gonna look back and think, why was I so afraid of this? Second, people start to see you as the expert. There's something about being brave enough to show up live that positions you differently in people's minds. It's like she's serious about her business. She's not just posting pretty graphics. She's actually showing up and teaching. Third, you start making money. Because going live is one of the fastest ways to build know, like, and trust. And when people know, like, and trust you, they buy from you. I had a client who did her first live in our private group, then took that same topic and went live on her business page the next week. She made three sales from that one live. Three sales from a 15 minute live where she was nervous the whole time. That's the power of visibility, sis. And fourth, and this is the one that surprised me the most. You start to like going live. I know that sounds crazy right now if you're terrified of it. But there's something about the real-time connection, about seeing people comment and interact with you, about knowing you're making an impact in the moment. It becomes addicting in the best way. Now, I go live multiple times a week and I genuinely enjoy it. But I had to push through the fear first. Alright, sis, here's your action step for this week. I want you to pick a day and a time when you're going to do your first live. Or if you've done lives before, but you've been hiding lately, your next live. Put it on your calendar, announce it on your stories, and commit to showing up. If you're really nervous, come do it inside the unmuted and seeing community first. That's literally what we're here for. To support you, to cheer you on, and help you build that visibility muscle. The link to join is in the show notes. And listen, I know this is scary. I know every part of you is coming up with a reason why you shouldn't do it. Or why you're not ready. But sis, you've been waiting long enough. Your audience is waiting for you. Your future clients are waiting for you. Your breakthrough is on the other side of that go live button. So let's do this. Let's get unmuted. Let's get seen. And hey, when you do it, screenshot it and tag me at Tammy Maynard underscore official on Instagram. I want to celebrate you because this is a big deal. And you should be proud of yourself for taking this step. Until next time, remember, your voice matters. Your message matters. And sis, you were made to be seen. Thank you so much for spending this time with me today. If this lit a fire in your soul, don't keep it to yourself. Share it with another woman who needs this word. And let's grow this movement together. Be sure to subscribe and leave a review so you never miss an episode. And don't forget to grab your free visibility checklist. Link in the show notes. Want more support and real conversations? Join our Unmuted and Seen Sisterhood on Facebook. And let's build a community where every woman feels seen, supported, and celebrated. Remember, girls, your comfort zone is not your friend zone. Break free, be bold, and keep showing up. This is Tammy Maynard. And you've been listening to the Unmuted CEO podcast, where we turn fear into fuel and dreams into reality. I believe in you, and I hope you do too. See you next time, sis.