She Speaks: Women's Wisdom For Every Woman

S1-Ep 7. Unstuck Yourself: Simple Steps to Shift Your Mindset and Thrive Through Life's Transitions with Daveda Schmidlin

• Charlotte Wilson

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This week on She Speaks, I sit down with my special guest and friend, Alignment & Subconscious Rewiring Coach and “Queen of pivoting”, Daveda Schmidlin. We talk about breaking free from feeling stuck and learning how to move through big life changes with confidence and flexibility. Daveda shares her inspiring journey—from becoming a teenage mom to embracing major life shifts like an unexpected job loss and death with courage and ease. You'll learn practical steps to quickly shift your mindset, trust yourself, and thrive no matter what life throws your way.

We’re diving into: 

✔ Why feeling "stuck" isn't a place—it's a mindset (and how to shift it). 

✔ How to tap into your body's wisdom to make confident decisions. 

✔ Practical ways to let go of control and trust yourself through life's changes.

If you've ever felt stuck, unsure of your next step, or struggled with trusting yourself during big life changes (I know I have), this conversation is for you, sweet friend.

Highlights:

  • [02:56] Daveda's journey: becoming a mom at barely 16
  • [06:00] Why "stuck" is just a mindset, not a place
  • [10:00] Daveda's recent life transitions: losing job stability and choosing to live full-time in an RV
  • [17:00] Navigating forward: why control is an illusion
  • [20:30] How to make decisions aligned with your true self and two key questions to always ask yourself
  • [29:00] Overcoming beliefs that keep women stuck
  • [35:00] Practical steps to get honest about what you want in life

Resources: 

  • Ready to get unstuck and step into a life that feels good to you? Start here! I've created two easy, powerful tools to help you shift your mindset, feel more aligned, and move through life's changes with ease.
  • Connect with Daveda: Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Rebel Ambitions Podcast Membership
  • Looking for virtual community spaces and in-person gatherings to reconnect with your authentic self and sacred sisterhood? Join me here…
    • The Invitation, a virtual studio offering yoga, breathwork, and meditation classes. *Book your first class and use my teacher code “CHAR” for a full discount.
    • The Woman’s Portal, offering monthly full moon sister circles and year-round retreats

Disclaimer:

The information shared on this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. While we share advice and personal experiences, it’s not intended to replace professional medical, legal, or financial guidance. Please consult qualified professionals for advice tailored to your specific needs. The views shared here are those of our guests and host, and do not represent all women’s experiences. We encourage you to explore what resonates with you personally.

Char Wilson:

Welcome to She Speaks, women's wisdom for every woman, a space for us to feel seen, celebrated, connected, and inspired. Here we come together to tell our stories, share our lessons, celebrate our unique strengths, and reconnect with the sacred feminine wisdom that exists in all of us and guides us towards a lit up life of peace, empowerment. Purpose and prosperity. I'm Char Wilson, your host and owner of Wilson Phoenix Wellness. I'm a mind body wellness content creator and coach helping high performing professional women transform from burned out to lit up through a holistic wellness approach. And each week you're invited to join me and my special guests in heartfelt conversations on holistic health and wellbeing, resilience and living authentically. Whether you're navigating life's big changes. Seeking deeper purpose or simply craving connection and inspiration. You'll walk away with bite sized brilliance as we uncover empowering insights and practical steps to help you create a life of balance, joy, ease, and fulfillment. And today I'm joined by my guest, Davida Schmidlin. So Davida and I, we met last year in a business community and I think became pretty quick friends. I just love your energy. Our Our lifestyles are very similar. We're kind of like living a non conventional life on the road and tiny homes and RVs. And, and I was just drawn to your energy very quickly today. Um, Davida is joining us and we're going to dive into all things, alignment, subconscious decoding, and rewiring. But first let's welcome Davida to the show. It's my honor and delight to have you here, sister.

Daveda Schmidlin:

Well, thanks for having me. I'm excited to be here today.

Char Wilson:

Yes. Yes.

Daveda Schmidlin:

Always love. I love, always love talking up those topics.

Char Wilson:

I know. And Davida and I could talk all day long. So, um, we'll have to do our best to, to behave, stay within the podcast guidelines, behave. But Davida is an alignment coach. She is a mom, a wife, a grandma. How many grandbabies? Four. And, um, spring chicken, you just turned the young age of what? 50. Yep. I just had my 50th birthday. You bring a wealth of wisdom and insight on how to decode and rewired our subconscious mind. There's so many times I know in my own life and I hear women all around me saying, I feel stuck. I feel stuck. And you talk a lot about that on your, on your platforms, but you are helping women to break out of that stuckness and natural, you know, naturally effortlessly grow and transform those. Those inner blocks, those mental blockers into power and momentum. So I'm excited to hear a little bit more about that from you and your expertise today, but also really key for you is, um, how you are using that as you're navigating big life transitions, which you have navigated quite a lot. Interesting fact for our sisters listening to Vita. Um, she had to grow up pretty early. She became a mom at barely 16 navigated through life and, you know, a lot on her own through very traumatic experiences, some really difficult environments. And I think you've come out pretty well on the other side. So share with us, share with us your story. And then the one key lesson that you would want. Other women to know from that experience.

Daveda Schmidlin:

Yeah, so when I say barely 16, I mean, like, by a hair. My, my birthday, or my, my birthday is January 28th, and my son, my oldest son, who is now 33, was born February 19th. So, I mean, like, just barely. Um, and I think, like, I think back when I had him, one of the things I had going for me, Was that I was just very stubborn And I really just had this Whatever i'll figure it out. I'll make it work kind of an attitude even about having a baby at 16 I mean obviously I went through a lot of Emotions and and questioned like should I do this? Can I do this? And when I got to that point where I was like, no, I i'm keeping this child Like i'm i'm, you know, that's the only option for me I Just figured, I'll figure it out. Like, it sounds very flippant to people, like, you don't just figure it out, but even as, uh, even as a mom when I was older, with each kid, you do just figure it out, because they're not all the same. Right? Like, it's always different. Like, I had three grown sons, and when they were small, they were all different. Um, but yeah, that was really hard. I had to grow up really, really fast. Um, you know, and be responsible for another person. And during those early years, I didn't always make the right choices. I didn't always choose the right friend group. Um, I got myself involved in, excuse me, periods of life where, you know, I made a lot of mistakes, but the one thing is that I've always learned from my mistakes and, you know, as I've learned and navigated forward. Um, I just got to a point where I wanted to not continue on the path that I was currently on. I've always been somebody where I, I kind of always knew there was something bigger inside of me. And even when I was living my life in a way that wasn't, like, aligned with who I truly am, like, I kind of knew it. Like, you know, like, I sort of knew it. I just had never seen anything different, so I didn't know how to do anything different. But I think each time we get to a place where we're ready to up level the opportunities that we need the people that we need They they they show up for us and they they take us to that next step, you know And they kind of like pull us like there's an energy there that just like pulls us in and I just remember waking up one morning And thinking, this is not what I wanted to be when I was a child, right? Like, I don't remember, you know, being a kid and wanting to be, you know, continually broke, hanging out with people that had no dreams, no vision. Um, you know, or anything, I wanted to do something different. I didn't really even know what it looked like, but I just took one step and then another step and then another step. And, you know, something that I, that I even tell my clients today and I live by is that stuck is not a place. It's a mindset. Like, it really is just a mindset. Like, you're never truly stuck. I mean, unless you're a fly stuck on one of those pieces of paper hanging in somebody's garage. Like, you're not stuck. You just need a perspective shift. There's always a different perspective. So I think like, you know, growing up really, really fast. Um, and then, you know, my childhood, I grew up with, my biological father was a drug addict, like there was just a lot of stuff in my, my childhood prior to having a kid so early, that was really traumatic that I had a lot of healing to do from. But all those things can be like springboards if we allow them to be. You know, it's not, it's not necessarily, um, it's, it's, I made it in spite of, right? Like, I made it in spite of, and I refuse to be a victim. I'm not a victim. I'm a survivor. I'm an overcomer. I'm an achiever. And all of those things, as unfortunate and difficult as they were, they gave me some kind of wisdom and knowledge and lesson. or compassion or empathy or something that I can take with me. And now, because of the work that I do with people and the work that I've done, I know that we don't have to stay there like those things no longer exist. We're no longer living in our past. We're living in our present. So that's kind of like, I guess, a bite sized piece of, you know, my story and how I got to where I am. And it's also given me a passion for helping women not stay back there and to move to a new space that they want to be in, that place inside. That they're like, I see something bigger, I just don't know how to get there. But if you see it, you can get there.

Char Wilson:

Yeah. And I, I want you to, to, to wrap that up. Package it up for the sisters that are listening. And tell them in this moment. Cause a lot of them are probably nodding their heads being like, Yup, similar experience. I had a rough childhood. I had to grow up really fast. I've gone through some really hard things. But I'm, I am a fighter. I am a survivor. There might be other sisters on the call who are feeling very, very stuck in their life in the moment. They feel what you said of this is not what I dreamed of. This is not the life I dreamed of when I was a kid and I feel stuck and I don't know how to get out. What from your. Vast experience from an early age, pre 16, having a kid to now 50 and looking back on all of those big moments. What's the one lesson that you want to share with women? If there's nothing else they take away from this podcast today, if they stop listening after this moment, what is it that you want them to know?

Daveda Schmidlin:

I think what's coming up is don't settle like if, if you can see it and you can dream it, there's a way. And it isn't about. Knowing exactly how it's all gonna work out, like, there's some beauty in ignorance. Just take one step. Like, you don't have to know exactly what it's gonna look like. And I think I've mastered like, not knowing what it's gonna look like. I mean, Tell us about that. Give us a little insight into That's my title, Char. The Master of Not Knowing.

Char Wilson:

That's your title. The matter of not knowing and like, yeah, tell it, give us a little hint of what you mean by that right now. Literally what's happening in your life. Tell the sisters that are listening. So they're not, yeah, that sounds nice, but you don't actually know. No. Yeah.

Daveda Schmidlin:

Oh yeah. No, I know. I know. Like the last two years of our lives have been one massive transition with very few like affirmative answers. So my husband came home in December of 2022 and told me that the plant that he worked at, which we were in Illinois, but we're originally from Ohio. Just like to give you a little bit of background around this story, too. Um, he came home and said, you know, they're closing the plant. We only have like a couple of months left, so we're gonna be completely and totally like out of work. They don't know where we're going. Um, everything's up in the air. And it was just like, oh crap. Like we, what are we going to do? We don't know where we're going to live. We don't know where we're going to do. The one thing that we did know is that we weren't going to be staying where we were. Shortly after that, my husband came home and he said, I have an idea and just hear me out before you shoot it down. Before I tell you this story, am I allowed to cuss? Like, okay. So you're on this

Char Wilson:

podcast.

Daveda Schmidlin:

Okay. Okay. So he was like, he comes home and he, now our plan, he had five years before he's going to retire. And our plan was to buy an RV. And travel for a little while and figure out where we wanted winter to be because we're you know in the midwest We want to be here in the summer of family not necessarily In the winter so he come he comes home and he's like, what would you think of selling everything? We own buying an rv now And then like we were hoping that we would get transferred back to his home plant, which is ohio But there was no guarantee that that would happen. He's like that way wherever they send us We have a home like we have a starting point. We can figure it out when we get there And at first I'm like, are you fucking nuts? What? No! And then I was like, okay, wait, you asked me to think about it. Right? Like, you don't stay married for, you know, 28 plus years by not at least thinking about what someone else is presenting. So, I took some time and, and, and stay liking each other. Um, I took some time to think about it and I thought. Why not? Like, what do we have to lose? So, we sold everything we own, included our, including like, like, our big beautiful house that I still miss sometimes. I don't miss being in Illinois though. And we like, you know, we sold everything, we bought an RV that we love, we actually have fifth wheel. And we headed back to Ohio hoping that, you know, my husband would get moved into a plant. We had a plan. Um, we were going to RV full time in the summer and then we were going to house sit in the winter and the first year that worked out swimmingly and then this year, um, some things changed for us again. One is my father in law passed away. Um, so there was a lot of grief. We're all very close with him, but also very fortunate that we were here. Um, three months after we got here, he was diagnosed with cancer. So we were able to be with him on that journey. So it was no mistake. That we ended up back home when we did, right? Like, it was all very divinely orchestrated. Um, so then when he passed away, we also inherited a house. We never thought we actually wanted to live in the house, but our other two sons were gonna kind of like stay But we do have like, we have a shed with all of our things on the property. So we also couldn't just like rent it out to a stranger, you know what I mean? Um, and then some things changed with our house sitting, um, this year, my, my mom and my stepdad decided they weren't going to be going to Florida because my sister had a baby. So a lot of things just changed. So again, it was like, okay, and we're, this house needs like a ton of work. Like, it's a massive undertaking. We were driving back and forth. And so we just decided like, it only makes sense for us to live here in the winter. And then, you know, stick with the plan. My husband is back to work at his home plant, but it's still very unstable. Like they could close that plant and tell us, Oh, well now you have to go to Texas for the last three years. Right. We still don't know. Um, but there's been just a lot of change, and so I've had to be really, really good at just going, Okay, if anybody's like a Friends fan, you know the scene with Ross where he's like, Pivot! Pivot! Right? Like, that's another name. Like, Master of the Pivot. The Pivot Queen. Yeah, and it's like, not being too stuck on, this is how it is, this is how it's gonna stay. Sometimes things are the way they are for a minute. And you have to be able to be okay with just like making a shift.

Char Wilson:

You

said

Char Wilson:

something earlier that I want to bring back up. You said, I've always learned from my mistakes. At an early age, you just had the mindset of, I don't know, but I'll figure it out.

Like

Char Wilson:

this sense of trusting, I'll figure it out. And the words that you used was you navigated forward. Which I love that. Tell me more about that. For sisters listening who are a little bit more like me, who are like, let's control the outcome. I need a plan. I need a strategy. There's a lot of high achieving sisters on this call listening, and they're like navigating forward, pivot, pivot, pivot. Please tell me how. So, in your wisdom, in your life lessons, what does that mean, navigating forward? What does that look like, practically? How can they, how can they do that when they're kind of in this in between stage of life?

Daveda Schmidlin:

Yeah. So, first of all, like I, I get the control thing because that is very much something that I've, I've, I've learned to work through. Um, I mean, because really at the end of the day, let's, if we're being truly real. Control, and I'm making air quotes for everybody listening to the podcast, is an illusion. We do not have Say it again. Say it again. Control is an illusion! We do not have control. I mean, we have options, we have choices, but we do not have control at any moment. Anything can change that is beyond our control. I, you know what I mean? Like, we had a plan. Like, we had a plan for retirement. Um, and thought that we had some kind of control in that, but when that changed and it became outside of our control, and I guess this is also an answer to your question, when things change, you look at what do, okay, what do I have, what am I working with today? It might not be what I was working with yesterday. And you make a decision from today. Um, it's kind of like, I know this is, you know, you hear this, It's said a lot, but it's like, if you're driving, you can't get where you're going by looking in the rearview mirror. You want to just continue to look forward. Um, I mean, Matt and I even sat down and said, okay, with everything that's changed, does this plan for retirement still, like, is the, are we still on the right track with everything that we're doing? And we said, yeah, like we are, right? Like we don't need to change anything else. But I think, like, moving forward, that really is the key, is looking at, but what am I working with today? Because the past doesn't exist anymore. Like, if we really think about it, if I tell you, you know, go find, you know, that, that birthday when you were five, it, it doesn't exist. That person doesn't even any longer exist. That's over. So we can't base tomorrow on something that no longer exists, but we have the present. So it's really about just being in the present and continually checking in with yourself and looking at what options do I have today and then just picking one option, right? Like it's just picking one option and taking one step forward and then that one step forward is going to lead you to the next option and the next option. I think a lot of times the reason that I see people get stuck and I've experienced Quote unquote stuckness myself in the past is because I'm looking for steps 10 And I haven't even picked step 1 yet. So just pick step 1 and then you know You don't know what's gonna come from step 1. Oh, there's my step 2. Oh, there's my step 3 Oh, there's step 4 right and then you just continue to like ease into and almost be magnetically pulled Hmm. Into what is next for you.

Char Wilson:

Yeah. So hopefully It did. And, and I have another question coming up. So thinking about like, you know, your area of expertise as an alignment coach and how you've used alignment to guide you more gracefully and with a little bit more humor and lightness. Yeah. Life transitions, which is a skill that, that is a skill. I think some people are more naturally gifted than others, but that is a learned and practice skill. So how do you kind of like tap into that alignment piece to even make your first choice? Because I know there's probably a lot of sisters listening that are thinking, I don't know how to even make that first choice. Yes, I feel stuck because there's 10 choices, but how do I tap into my alignment, whatever that means to make choice one? What would you say to the woman asking that question?

Daveda Schmidlin:

Yeah, well, first I would say that's a fantastic question. Well, thank you. And, um, the second thing I would say is there are no wrong choices.

Char Wilson:

Oh, that's a great answer. Say that again. Say that again.

Daveda Schmidlin:

Right? So sometimes we don't make any choice because we're so terrified that we're gonna make the wrong choice, but there are no wrong choices. There's only, there's only navigating forward. And so it's either gonna result in what I wanted or it's going to result in a lesson that's gonna get me closer to what I wanted. So you, you just make a choice. You know, and making no choice is making a choice, which isn't going to get you anywhere, right? But then I think it's also, it's also, and this is, this is maybe something that is more of like a learned, you know, kind of a learned thing that we have to practice, but you can start today learning it. Um, I just had a conversation with somebody yesterday about this, and I said, when you think about, so if you're looking at option A, option B, right? If I think about option A, and I think about what does it feel like to have done it, and it feels light in my body, then to me, I'm like, okay, it feels light in my body, which means it's pulling me. If I look at option B, and I'm like what does it feel like to have done it, to have it done? It's already done. I'm envisioning it done. What does that feel like? And it feels heavy. Then that's not the direction that I go. And I get that like there is like a practice to that, like being able to really like kind of sink into your body and, and, and tapping into like light and heavy. But you can start with really small things, you know, even little things like What is, like, what is, what is calling me this morning? Is it, like, a cup of coffee? Is it a cup of tea? When I think about having done it, like, what does that feel like? That's where I started. You know, I'm like, okay, well, when I get up in the morning, like, what should I drink? I mean, I know that sounds kind of minuscule, but there's, you'll, you'll learn to, to recognize what that feeling is of, like, light and heavy. But this conversation I was having yesterday, I had said, you know, around doing this, and I'm like, okay, tell me, Give me some feedback around what you're feeling. And it was like, well, I feel light this way and I feel heavy this way, but I don't want to not do something just because it feels heavy. And I'm like, but there's a difference between heavy and hard.

Char Wilson:

Yeah, it's more about that.

Daveda Schmidlin:

Yeah. So like, to me, um, we don't shy away from hard. Like there's a lot of things in life that are hard. But it doesn't necessarily mean that they're, um, not useful.

Char Wilson:

Yeah. Yeah. The hard is usually the bigger tinkers. Yeah, it is in the

Daveda Schmidlin:

hard. It is in the hard, right? But the heavy, that internal heaviness where you just have this Ma, ma, ma. The sinking. The sinking feeling. That's a sign from God, the universe, your higher self. That that's not in alignment. That that's not for you. Doesn't mean it's bad, whatever, it just means it's not for you. So that's what I mean by like, helping people like learn to tap into and just flow with that lightness and let that pull you and learning to, to trust in that.

Char Wilson:

Yeah. If there's been a theme across every single podcast episode that I've done so far, it is wise women like yourself. Saying that exact message of we must start using our bodies to make decisions, not our minds. We have been misinformed and incorrectly taught in a very like masculine way that we use our logical analytical minds to make decisions when in fact we should be tapping into and leveraging our body's wisdom to make decisions. Now, those women who are like. But I, I don't know how to do that yet. They're still figuring out because that's, that's like working with subtle energies. And you know, if, if you had told me that a few years ago, I would not have known how to do that because I was so disconnected from the sensations in my body. I was so logically analytically driven. I have a natural mind for operations and order. So I have to, I've had to really work on that. So I want to offer. For the women who are in that position of, I like this idea of using my body to make decisions, but I'm still working on how to even feel the sensations in my body. I would, I would say for, for those women who are nodding their heads of, yes, that's me. Um, do a little bit of a logical exercise very quickly as well. When you're coming up against decision a decision B. short term, long term, how, what's the impact there? Start with the logic, give yourself like five minutes and then shift over, take a few breaths, drop in and feel just like what you offered. What would it feel like living with this decision? What would it feel like living with this decision? And then use both.

Daveda Schmidlin:

Yeah. And when it comes to the logical too, sometimes Sometimes it, it even helps, like, to, to ask yourself when you think about it, does this take me where I want to go? Is it actually what I want, or does it just sound good? Like, where does that lead me? And then where does this lead me? I mean, so that's another really logical way of, like, You know, which path does that take me down? And is it what I want my life to look like? Um, Even just within like shari you and I have had this conversation before around, you know What do you want your business to to look like but also to feel like right? Like what do I want it to look like? What do I want it to feel like and making decisions? So it's not like you just completely like take your brain out and put it in a jar, right? We're still we're still using our minds. They're brilliant. You know, they're there for a reason Um, but like when you learn to to do both, because your mind, like your, your, your, your subconscious mind is, is, is controlling 95 percent of everything. Only 5 percent of everything that we know, do, thoughts, patterns, emotions, are part of the conscious mind. So if you think about it, like, and the not, the con, the subconscious is created a lot even before the age of seven to ten, like, prior to then. So if you think about it, like, we have a lot of grown seven year olds running around trying to make decisions, like, based on what, you know. And so I think that, yes, asking your, learning to ask yourself some really good questions around, does this take me where I want to go? And does it, will it feel, does it feel the way I want it to feel and then dropping into your body? And another thing I wanted to add to that, Char, is if you, if you're in a space where you don't know yet, like, you haven't really learned or leaned into that practice of tapping into your body, um, I also think doing some, some mindful meditation, is really useful, even if it's just like for five minutes, and I want to explain what I mean by that because sometimes people think, you know, mindful meditation or whatever, it's like, they're like, no, I just keep thinking about stuff. But, um, yeah, it's practical. Yeah, it really is. It's not about trying to turn your mind off. It's more about letting whatever comes up, come up without judgment. And just letting it process through, right? So, like, I always like to imagine, like, as the thought comes up, I acknowledge it, and then I let it drift off. And then as the next thought comes up, I acknowledge it, and I let it drift off. And so, it's kind of like just learning to be with yourself. And I think that's a really good starting point for people who are like, Yeah, I'm hearing what you guys are saying, but I don't know where to begin. That's also like a really good five minute spot that you can start doing today.

Char Wilson:

In your work with women and I know that you work with a lot of women and people as well that they're coming to you saying, I'm stuck. I'm stuck. And you said earlier, stuck is not a place. It's a mindset. And this is really where you shine. I love that. We just naturally segue into the subconscious mind. Um, what if you could change one belief that you've seen in women that holds them back, that keeps them from it. navigating forward and using those kind of hardships in life as the springboards for leveling up. If there was one belief that you see holding women back, what would it be? And what would you say to her?

Daveda Schmidlin:

Yeah. Um, so I think, I think this is a belief. Um, but this is what, what's coming up for me to share is that, um, it's, it's a tap, it's attaching meaning, right? Like. Things only mean what we appoint them to mean, and sometimes things don't have to mean anything. Um, I just, I think that a lot of the time, one of the things that gets people stuck is the meaning that we attach to outcomes, to our, to our behaviors, to our thoughts, to our patterns. But they don't have to mean anything, they only mean what you make them mean.

Char Wilson:

Yeah.

Daveda Schmidlin:

And so, like, in a nutshell, I think that in and of itself is really powerful, that It doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean anything about you that That situation changed. It doesn't mean anything, um, you know, that, that, that you made that mistake, right? Like, it doesn't mean anything. We attach meaning to things that hold us back because typically the meaning we attach somehow devalues who we are at the core of our being. And that's a lot of time what makes us feel stuckness. So I think, I think that the belief is that things Yeah. About

Char Wilson:

us. Yeah. That everything has some kind of deep meaning. And we are meaning making creatures. That is something that the, the mind, the subconscious mind is always doing to make sense of the world around us.

Daveda Schmidlin:

But if we, if we, like, I want to, I just like, so if we look at, if we look at, um, trying to think of it of an example. Um, if, if I make a choice, and it turns out to not be what I thought it would be, or what I wanted it to be, or whatever, and I attach a meaning to that, let's say the meaning I attach to it is, I don't make good choices, the meaning that I'm attaching to that is actually what's keeping me stuck,

not

Daveda Schmidlin:

the actual action. Because if we think about, let's say two people. Do the same thing, one person attaches a meaning to it, the other person doesn't, that second person is going to continue to move forward, and the first person is going to stay stuck, not because of what happened, but simply because of the meaning attached to it.

Yeah.

Daveda Schmidlin:

So, I would say, uh, removing that belief that things have to mean something. They don't.

Char Wilson:

Yeah. And I'm

Daveda Schmidlin:

going to make it mean something, make it mean something that's useful and you're moving forward. Right. Right. Exactly. Like

Char Wilson:

our mind is, is, is a little bit of a trickster. Yeah. And so why not use it to our advantage? You know, if our mind is going to tell us stories anyway, why not use the power of our imagination to help us navigate forward? The, the image that's coming up for me is in Inside Out 2. Have you seen that movie? Yeah. Yeah. I love it so much. Where, um, Joy and the, the gang of like the, you know, the fun, fundamental emotions and anger and envy and fear. They all run into the, there's like an imagination house of cards. Yeah. And anxiety is on the big screen and she's forcing all of the little, all of the little like jelly bean workers to come up with scary, scary scenarios

and

Char Wilson:

joy and joy is like, no, she's, she's like wielding this little girl's imagination against her to drive her instead of what if. This really cool thing happened. What if something wonderful had come from this moment? So I love that. It's, it's really about like, we get to assign the meaning to things. So if we have that power, you might as well sign, assign a meaning that, that propels you forward instead of assigning a meaning that keeps you stuck or sends you backwards in time. Did I hear that correctly? Is that what you're saying?

Daveda Schmidlin:

Yeah, I mean, yeah, just like, exactly, it, it, it's, it's the meaning that we attach that keeps us stuck a lot of the time. And so it's like, either it doesn't have to mean anything, or if you're going to make it mean something, always ask yourself, is that useful?

Char Wilson:

Yeah. I love that question. Is that useful? Is it useful? Yep. Yeah.

Daveda Schmidlin:

Yeah. You will hear me say that like so many times. Like, okay. Okay. But. Is it useful? And it doesn't even necessarily matter sometimes if it's true. Because if it's true, but it's not useful, then it still doesn't matter.

Char Wilson:

Yeah, and specifically useful to you and where you want to go, what you want to be feeling. Yes,

Daveda Schmidlin:

yes, exactly.

Char Wilson:

Is it useful in, in the flow of your alignment? I love that. That's such a helpful question. Is that useful for me? And what do I want to feel from this decision? Super helpful. So to, to wrap it up, um, what is one, what is one small actionable step? We've talked a lot of, a lot of things, subconscious mind and unstuck in yourself and using your hard life lessons to navigate forward. What's one small actionable step that our sisters listening to this call can take today to improve their life experience and unstuck themselves.

Daveda Schmidlin:

Yeah. Um, I mean, in addition, I, I feel like we, we've, we've given a couple, so I think in addition, a small actionable step is to, the first thing I would say is get clear with yourself on where you actually want to go, and that can be as simple as like journaling, you know, like journaling, letting it all out, hitting, um, hitting record on GarageBand on your phone and just letting All the stuff like come out of you and then go back and re listen to it uh, I think sometimes the other reason we get stuck is because We're trying to go in a direction that doesn't any longer align with us, but we've been in such a habit of just going this one way, and it's like, you know, the red light's on and the green light's over here flashing, but we don't even see it because we haven't gotten honest with ourselves yet about what we truly want. And so I would say an actionable step would be to start with today, go journal, go, go voice dump, right? Like, just go get it out of you. And whatever that looks like, just look at like, okay, what's one small thing that I can do to start taking a step in that direction. And it doesn't have to be big, like, I don't know if you've ever heard the quote, I'm sure you have, but it's like, that quote that says we, we underestimate what can be accomplished in a year and overestimate what can be accomplished in a day. You're not looking to make massive changes today in this one step. You're just looking to get started.

Yeah,

Daveda Schmidlin:

right, like it's just about it's planting you today. It's about digging the little hole and that's like going and Journaling or dumping and checking in with yourself to see what you actually want And then you know, the next step is planting that seed and then the next step is covering with the dirt, right? So it's like if that's the space you're in the starting point. I think is always getting really honest With where you're at and and does it still align? Where do you want to go?

Char Wilson:

Which takes so much courage. I know you and I both ran that ran the gauntlet of that last year in our businesses and making some pivots in our identities as coaches and I know for me I did a lot of like Identity release work and releasing a grip on titles. Who am I in this season? And I gave myself permission. I think that was the word that's coming up for me. I'm giving myself permission to be really honest with what I want in my life, in my relationships, in my business. And that first step. took a lot of courage. An back to that, give myself speak what it is that I w we're not ready to speak that feels too scary. So

Daveda Schmidlin:

Yeah.

Char Wilson:

And then you can start to whisper it, and then you can start to speak it to other people.

Daveda Schmidlin:

Yeah. And I think, I mean, I think we could do a whole other podcast just on that topic alone, right? Cause I'm like, Oh my gosh, I have 5, 000 thoughts coming to my head right now.

Yeah.

Daveda Schmidlin:

But the one thing that I will add to that is as you're going through that and you're getting really honest with yourself. A lot of the time, the reason it's hard is because in order to move forward, there are things we need to let go of that have gotten very comfortable. Even though they don't, it's like, you know, your, your, your feet grew a size and you're still trying to shove your foot into a, you know, into a size seven and you're now a seven and a half. You know, it doesn't feel good anymore, but those are the shoes you're used to wearing, so you just keep putting them on. Like, it's time to size up and what do you have to let go of in order to do that? And yes, it takes this, like, journal, talking to your phone, right? They seem like these really simple things. But like you just said, Char, it is one of the most courageous things that you can do is to be really honest with yourself and be willing, or at least be willing to be made willing and to get willing, right? Like, you don't have to be willing yet. You just have to be willing to say, okay, I'm, I'm not willing yet to let go of some things. But I'm willing to explore it.

Like, start

Daveda Schmidlin:

there if you need to.

Um,

Daveda Schmidlin:

it's courageous, and it, and it is a very powerful starting point, even though it might seem like, oh, write some things down, or say some things, or whatever, but it's very powerful to really truly do it and lean into it.

Char Wilson:

Yeah. And it's courageous because it's not what we've been taught as little girls, as young women, as, as grown women. We have not been taught to be honest with what it been taught how to, how t to be pleasant and pretty fit in and go with the fl To really get honest with what do I want and why do I want it? And on the other side of that, I think a lot of women, myself included, it took, uh, it took a while to get that honest with what do I want? Because on the other side of that question is, and what am I willing to give up to have that? It is a give and a take. Yeah. So, uh, one practice, I'll add this on that. If you're not, if you're not ready to journal, if you're not ready to, to go be with yourself in that way, Go clean out a closet like Yes. Yeah. Remove some things that no longer fit you as an act of release and see how that feels. See where that takes you.

Daveda Schmidlin:

Um, I, I, I know we're like, I know we're rounding here across the finish line Shark. Yeah. I just wanna add something that just came up that I didn't mention in the beginning when you asked me about like becoming the master of the pivot and everything that we had been through.

Yeah. So

Daveda Schmidlin:

another interesting thing that had happened is that. So I had done this manifestation program and I, I sat down one day and I wrote down exactly what I wanted to get out of it. And I remembered saying, um, I can't remember word for word, but I remembered saying, as I was writing, like, I just kind of felt like life had become routine and I was just like, I needed to shake it up somehow. Right. So I write this all down. I have my candle out of like. That was the very, that was in the morning. That's the exact same day that my husband came home and told me that he was losing his job. Like, the same freaking day. It's like, holy shit. Like, here we go.

Char Wilson:

Yup.

Daveda Schmidlin:

Yeah.

Char Wilson:

I had a very similar experience when I was let go in corporate world. So it's like, you know. When we ask for things to shift, when we're, when we ask for things to get unstuck, be prepared, be prepared for the shifts to happen. And that's where it's like, we, we got, you have to release control.

Daveda Schmidlin:

Cause control is an illusion anyway.

Char Wilson:

It's an illusion anyway. I love that. I'm going to end with that quote. Um, we have options and choices, but we do not have control of anything outside of ourselves. We have options and choices. And there is no wrong decision. Just make the choice, learn the lesson, pivot, and enjoy the ride forward. Yeah. Ah, I love this conversation. It's been so good. Will you tell us how can our sisters find you if they want to, um, you know, know more about you tap into some of your services, any upcoming events that they should be aware of? How can they find you and connect with you?

Daveda Schmidlin:

Yeah, so, um, you can find me on, uh, social media platforms, you know, I'm on Facebook, Instagram. TikTok, YouTube, you know, pretty, pretty much I have a presence, um, I hang out the most on Facebook, um, but, uh, the other thing is if you go to any of those platforms and, you know, you look through, I do have something that I'm, that I recently started a few months ago that I'm excited about, it's, uh, it's a, the Rebel Ambitions, um, podcast membership, and basically, and I, I named it Rebel Ambitions because the meaning behind that to me is like those of us who, um, are wanting to do things in a different way. Like not according to all the noise that we hear out here, you know around us, but according to That drive that's coming from inside of us. And so Rebel Ambitions is basically like a behind the scenes look at what's going on in my, in my thoughts, um, in my, in my business, um, in my life. Like I, I share like some personal things in there, stuff that you won't find out on social media. And it's kind of like having, I looked at it like having like a little mentor in your pocket, right? Like just little tiny bite sized pieces. of like encouragement or perspective shifts or a way to look at something. Um, so, so that's, you know, up for the taking. I am in the works on creating a few more things, you know, that people will be able to tap into, but right now that's kind of been my main, my main focus, so. That's helpful to anyone. You can meet me there or you can just come check out, you know, whatever I got going on in social.

Char Wilson:

What's your Facebook handle?

Daveda Schmidlin:

Um, it's just Davita Schmidlin. Okay, cool.

Char Wilson:

I will

Daveda Schmidlin:

include

Char Wilson:

those links and, um, a link to your podcast subscription in the show notes. So sisters listening, be sure to check that out. And with that, it is goodbye for now. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much to be there for joining me.

Daveda Schmidlin:

Oh, thanks for having me. This has been great.

Char Wilson:

Sisters, we are so glad you joined us today on She Speaks. I hope you leave feeling seen, inspired, connected, and ready to take one step closer to living as your true self. Remember the wisdom we seek is often found within. Keep shining, keep speaking, keep listening to your inner voice and your body's wisdom, and join us next time as we continue this wisdom journey to wholehearted living. If you enjoyed this episode, please give it a five star review and share it with the beloved sisters in your life. Be sure to check the show notes for ways to connect with Davida, as well as some resources that I'll be offering to support you on your journey to health and happiness. We love you, sweet friends, and I will see you next week. Bye.