Rowd & Loudy Comedy Podcast
Welcome to Rowd and Loudy, the podcast where two blue-collar best friends from Michigan take you on a wild ride through life’s highs and lows. Whether we’re swapping stories from the jobsite, sharing laughs over backyard beers, or diving deep into the struggles and triumphs of everyday life, we keep it real, raw, and relatable. Expect a mix of humor, heart, and hard truths as we navigate the chaos of work, family, and friendship—all with a Midwest twist. Tune in and join the crew for a weekly dose of unfiltered conversation, a little rowdiness, and a lot of laughs!
Every episode features funny stories, funny moments and a top 5. The top 5 is unique because we do not share our top 5's with each other until we are live on the air.
The catch neither Brad nor Eric knows what the other person is going to say, the shock value is incredible. This is a comedy podcast about all the fun stuff in life.
Every episode features funny stories and a top 5.
Join Eric and Brad on a Rowd and Loudy Journey today!
Rowd & Loudy Comedy Podcast
Episode 5 -Super Bowl Episode - Funny Sports Stories - TOP 5 Worst Sponsors for a Football Team
Ever wondered what makes a high school football coach switch your path from soccer cleats to shoulder pads? We unravel this surprising turn of events from our own high school days, sharing tales of missteps with tackling bags and the late-blooming inspiration from Ben Roethlisberger's career. Along the way, we reminisce about the heartfelt camaraderie among fellow Detroit Lions fans as we face yet another Super Bowl without our team on the field.
From the sidelines of a thrilling high school game against an unforgettable quarterback named Wolf to the mischievous antics that landed us in the principal's office, we bring you stories that capture the spirit of youthful rebellion. We recount humorous encounters with a strict librarian and a memorable golf course accolade that took us by surprise. These nostalgic journeys highlight the colorful characters and experiences that shaped our high school years.
Join us as we explore the wild and whimsical world of sports jersey sponsors, imagining the most outlandish partnerships you could dream of. Picture the Detroit Lions with a Spirit of Halloween sponsor or the Raiders teaming up with OnlyFans—hilarious, right? With laughter and light-hearted banter, we craft a top-five list of the most ridiculous jersey names, celebrating sports and humor as we wrap up another lively episode.
ROWD and LOUDY is the ultimate comedy podcast where two best friends share hilarious, never-before-heard stories in every episode! Tune in for laughs, surprises, and spontaneous humor as each episode features fresh, funny tales that one of the hosts has never heard before. Plus, every episode includes a Top 5 list where we rank and discuss random topics, adding even more fun to the mix. Whether you’re into storytelling, comedy, or just want to hear two friends banter about life, ROWD and LOUDY has you covered.
Listen now for your weekly dose of laughter, entertainment, and raw, unfiltered humor.
Comedy, Funny Stories, Humor Podcast, Best Friend Podcast, Hilarious Podcast, Top 5 Podcast, Hilarious Podcast, Storytelling Podcast, Weekly Comedy Show, Laugh out Loud Podcast, Unfiltered Humor.
Welcome back to the Roud and Lowny podcast. This is episode five and we got a little Super Bowl action coming at you tonight, got sports stories and fails, and then we're going to cover the top five worst names you could have on the back of your jersey, or a weird sponsor, little League sponsors or something like that. So it's going to be a fun show. It's going to be great. Coming at you live here at the routin loudy headquarters studio. All right, what you got there, eric?
Speaker 2:well, I think my job is to recap, but uh, but yeah, um special little super bowl episode today, really excited for that game is on february 9.
Speaker 1:Chiefs and eagles chiefs and eagles, which is so you're, you're.
Speaker 2:Uh, your prediction didn't come true, but I failed you failed that one yeah, I think a lot of those won't come true. But you know what? I'm totally fine with it and I think that there's a reason for it.
Speaker 1:I forgot, so we looked it up too. We didn't cover the hood for the 1984 grand prix. That's 55 pounds. That came down on my thumb a lot last time I checked.
Speaker 2:That's a lot, so I gotta go over a quick recap for you of funny band names that we covered in the last episode, which I really enjoyed that episode yeah, that was great, that was great, just epic. So, once again, if you want to listen to our podcasts Spotify, youtube, amazon, iHeartRadio however you're listening.
Speaker 1:And we have a lot more followers and subscribers. Now what?
Speaker 2:up.
Speaker 1:Jay, what up, what up, jay so last episode.
Speaker 2:We did that have a lot more followers and subscribers. Now, what up, jay? What up, what up?
Speaker 1:so I'm sorry, I can't. I can't say everybody because I don't know who all's out there. I know I don't see all their names, so sorry about that. If you're a subscriber, thank you. You're awesome, you rock.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I can't thank you enough so you know how they removed all the checks for, like facebook, which you're just talking to me about oh yeah, fact checkers you need to do that with subscribers.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, I'm sick of having only fans. All right, we only know chris. So we gave chris some shout outs. But I want to give a special shout out to to mr jay. I worked with jay for a long time. He's been listening the whole time and I I went over then and hung out with him for a little bit the other day. Oh yeah, dude, great friend of mine, yeah, you'll love this guy Seriously.
Speaker 3:I can't wait to meet him.
Speaker 2:I don't know anybody that doesn't like him Like. If you don't like him, there's a problem with you. Well, I don't like you, that's true. You know what we're working on it all right, we're working on. He's like man, I've been listening to you loyally since you started and who's Chris? And I was like I haven't even met the guy but I just kind of rolled with him. All right, he's a really good guy. So I want to make sure I gave a little special shout out to Jay today.
Speaker 1:Dude, that killed me when you said that after the episode, Like hey, just so you know we have more than one subscriber.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I knew the whole time but balls dude it's like that person that comes over with that new car and it's like a dodge neon three different color panels on it right you're like what the fuck is this? He's like dude, it's got automatic windows. Like look at this. Serious radio, are you kidding me?
Speaker 1:serious radio, I got that and you don't have the heart to tell him yeah that car sucks, you should have dude, that would have been great fucking like at the end of the episode, just like. Hey, just so you know, we have more than one subscriber, by the way.
Speaker 2:So quick recap from the last episode of some of the band names. So we were tasked with coming up with a couple of cover band names that would be awful, and we are shortening the top five to top three. Thanks, jay, awful, and uh, we are shortening the top five to top three. Thanks, jay and um. So recap number three was sticks in the mud, which is a sticks and queen cover band. If you can't understand the irony, google it. Google it. Two, the mariah jerry's. So it would be a group of guys that were singing Mariah Carey songs, which, mariah Carey, is awful. I'm sorry, if you're listening, you're kind of cute, but like I, just I can't do it yeah, and they're down in hell's waiting room.
Speaker 2:I think, Mariah Carey is part of the reason that malls don't exist. They trade it too much yes, people stop going.
Speaker 2:I just can't buy Tommy Hilfiger jeans with this ruckus on Right. Yeah, and the number one from the previous episode was the Pink Tulips, which is an all-girl Pink Floyd cover band, and I don't even know if that would have won if we weren't allowed to have banter after, but we ended up coming up with the front. Two people in the band would be Roger Twatters and David Fillmore on the spot, and they'd be playing Dark Side of the Poon in full. Dark Side of the Poon yeah, that'd be awesome.
Speaker 2:I'd go see that show. So Super Bowl episode buddy, you excited about it.
Speaker 1:I am. I don't really care about either team. That's in the Super Bowl if I'm being honest. I mean, obviously we're Detroit. Lions fans and we got screwed. We didn. If I'm being honest, I mean, obviously we're Detroit Lions fans and we got screwed and we didn't get we didn't get screwed.
Speaker 2:But yeah, there's no, there's no one to blame and I hate that. It's like it's like when you break your arm, you want to be able to look at somebody like, dude, fuck you, Why'd you do this? You did this. Yeah, you don't have anyone to blame?
Speaker 1:No, no, but you know what?
Speaker 3:They've come a long way.
Speaker 1:They're building and they are building and I think they'll do good things next year. I hope they will.
Speaker 2:I think they will.
Speaker 1:Dan Campbell's awesome. I'm not going to say that next year's the year, but you know.
Speaker 2:So Super Bowl is February 9, 630. Chiefs and Eagles obviously the halftime show is Kendrick Lamar. Who the fuck is that? He's really famous A lot of it. It's more of a 17. I'd almost push it to 14 to 25.
Speaker 1:Let me, let me ask you this question Are they, does anybody at that stadium going to know who that guy is? I mean there, are they really going to the fans of the nfl?
Speaker 2:because no, I don't know, I, I really, you know, I I'd like to see a little bit like. So I actually wrote down the past couple uh, halftime shows. So in in 2024 we had usher, yeah, yeah. 2023, rihanna. 2022 was snoop dogg, eminem and that was good here's a guy, your kendrick Lamar, was there too, was he? So he's been on stage two of the last five years.
Speaker 1:Oh, I don't know who he is. I really don't. I don't know any of his music. I don't know anything.
Speaker 2:He's an up-and-coming rapper. We had the Weeknd in 2021, shakira and J-Lo in 2020. Weekend in 2021, shakira and J-Lo in 2020. And I think that Maroon 5 ruined it for rock bands in 2019. It was awful when that dude took his shirt off too, and it's like what are you doing? Your set is 12 minutes long. You're going to tell me that it's that hot for you right now.
Speaker 1:No, don't want to hear it. He's doing it for the ladies.
Speaker 2:But your shitty music is the reason that we've had these awful performances, because jay-z came in and took over in 2019. As soon as maroon 5 got upstage, they're like no more, let's hire fucking jay-z. But that's why we don't have any diversity in our in our halftime shows I started thinking about it and it blows my mind and maybe this is just me but how's taylor swift not done one?
Speaker 1:she's too busy watching. Watching Kelsey up in the show box, man.
Speaker 2:She would literally just have to take the elevator down, go down there, like instead of getting a drink at halftime she'd just go play yeah.
Speaker 1:Metallica. I'm okay with her not playing though Honestly. I'm not a Taylor Swift fan.
Speaker 2:I'm not either, but I'm saying you can't deny that she's huge.
Speaker 1:That's what I'm getting at. She's absolutely huge. That's what.
Speaker 2:I'm getting at. I'm not saying that she's my dude, I don't even listen to her. I am a full-blown rock guy. You know that about me. Yeah, but you got to give her props for props to do, and her tour has grossed over a billion dollars.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely so the fact that.
Speaker 3:A.
Speaker 2:Super Bowl. It blows my mind Metallica Paul McCartney of the Beatles Ozzy.
Speaker 1:Ozzy, what was the other ones?
Speaker 2:Pink Floyd, led Zeppelin, elton John.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he did one. He was on. It wasn't too long ago. I don't think he's. I think he was like a side person. He was a side piece, I don't know.
Speaker 2:I just you know the whole rule that people can't hit the quarterback these days, the whole throwing a flag every time Mahomes farts and then you wheel out Kendrick Lamar to office. It's like man.
Speaker 1:Do you know why he's number 15? Why? Because that's how many yards you get in a penalty for touching him Shit.
Speaker 2:Dude.
Speaker 1:He has like invisible security everywhere he goes yeah, yeah, he's got a bubble. Dude Can't break the bubble.
Speaker 2:You gotta give him his props, though I'm just being real. Like they beat the shit out of the Bills Like that was their game the whole time. I think Andy Reid is a mastermind, their coach Like he is just insane. He's one for the Eagles. He's won for the Chiefs. Like he's just been nothing but quality everywhere he's been.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's a good coach. You know it does suck. I mean, Mahomes is a good quarterback.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:He just does. I mean he's got a good team around him.
Speaker 2:We should have known. Right, everyone's coming out now that he's been flopping.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Dude, why isn't the Super Bowl sponsored by Viagra, with all the fucking flopping that's going on? Man Right, oh my God, dude, those are at the end. Man Dude, it'd be such a solid Super Bowl, literally, it'd be hard. It'd be so hard It'd be solid.
Speaker 1:It's hard to watch. It'd be a solid Super Bowl Right.
Speaker 2:There'd be so many puns, dude It'd be be a solid Super Bowl. But honestly, I'm just hoping for a good game. We're not going to get a nip slip like we got out of Janet Jackson, but we're going to have a great time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I hope it's a good game. I really do. I mean, it's always.
Speaker 2:It's just. It's like they have to have the dynasty, right. Yeah, like they had the Patriots and then now it's the Chiefs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I don't know. I hope it's a great game. Hope you guys enjoy it. Hopefully this episode will be live before that.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, yeah, We'll get it out before then, absolutely.
Speaker 2:So funny sports stories friend.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so what do you got for me? I don't have any Super Bowl stories.
Speaker 3:I don't either. That's good I don't either.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, because I've never really been a Super Bowl like go to a Super Bowl party or anything like that. But I do have a sports-related, football-related story from my high school days. So I was never the guy that was in Rocket football. I didn't play any football growing up other than with my buddies you know out in the neighborhood and all that shit. But on my junior year of high school I decided that I'm going to play football, Right?
Speaker 1:Junior year of high school, my junior year of high school, Okay, yeah, and so I show up for practice and I go through the like the hell week, right, they have. Like this practice is two a days and stuff like that, I go get through all that. No worries. I mean, I was pretty fit in high school. I'm not now, obviously, but I was pretty fit. Where's the time, scott? Right? So get through all that and, like, the practice starts and they put me as nose guard. Okay, okay.
Speaker 3:And.
Speaker 1:I was not a big dude. I mean I probably weighed 170-ish.
Speaker 2:So defensive side of the ball, obviously yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, but I was muscular back then, I was fit, I was in good shape. So, anyway, we're at the first practice where, like, we're hitting the dummies right or the pads, that everybody holds up, not the sleds, oh, okay.
Speaker 2:We had pads, that guys would hold up Typical lineman drill. Yep, I know exactly what you're talking about.
Speaker 1:So I have no idea, right, this is my first practice in any kind of football anything. And so the coach tells me to go out and hold the pads. They're going to run a play. Hold the pad up, let the guy hit you. All right, no problem. So I'm there, I'm back and I have no idea what the fuck's going on and I'm just kind of daydreaming out there. I'm watching fucking butterflies or something.
Speaker 3:I don't know, it's hot.
Speaker 1:Dude, this guy went through the fucking line and that's just like the biggest guy that we had on the team. Fucking, nails me and just shoots me halfway across the fucking field.
Speaker 2:You were holding the pad, I was holding the pad. The pad didn't make it. Brad didn't make it.
Speaker 1:Dude, I fucking. He hit me. I flew. I swear to God, I had to have flown like 20 feet. Oh my God, I got up and I'm fucking like what the fuck just happened and the guy's fucking laughing. Obviously Everybody on the fucking team is laughing and I'm just like fucking. That was great.
Speaker 2:Fucking good hit dude. The best part is there's a certain way to stand with that bag.
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah, which I'm sure you learned later, right? Oh yeah, after that.
Speaker 2:If you hold that close to your chest, it's like putting a seat cushion out there Nothing's going to happen, right Like if he's going to hit you. You're fucked. Oh yeah yeah. If you lean forward with that, you kind of wedge gets there. I'm just like what the fuck's going on?
Speaker 1:Just whammo, just sends me flying. What if?
Speaker 2:you quit that day Like, just like, fuck this, right. I tried to do the bag thing, the equivalent of Eric playing the fucking triangle in bands.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I didn't like it. I should have held it out like like out of the side of me, you know. Oh, my gosh dude.
Speaker 2:So I got sidebar and I hate to do this because I'm going to have to go for a trifecta right now. Okay, Okay. So two things. So you said that you started playing football your junior year of high school, correct? Yes, want to know something crazy. Do you know who Ben Roethlisberger is Like from the Steelers? Yeah, quarterback.
Speaker 1:Yep, yeah, dude, I love the Steelers.
Speaker 2:Okay, he started playing football his junior year of high school. Really, which is crazy, that is crazy, okay, and it was on a bet, so he was really athletic, so he was like so the reason I know this is because I was in a networking group with a girl in Battle Creek that her husband was in the same graduating class as him. No shit, yeah, in Ohio. Wow, bad place, but yeah, ben Roethlisberger's cool.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So he got bet that he couldn't turn the football team around.
Speaker 1:Really.
Speaker 2:Took him really far into the playoffs, first year, second year, I think. One state yeah so he literally started playing football when he was 16 years old. One of the best quarterbacks of all time no shit, I did not know that it just shows that you can.
Speaker 2:You can do whatever the fuck you want. Like, oh yeah. Like, look at us and I don't mean to be weird, I get that we're not the fucking best. I don't know that. I like this podcast. I might turn it right and I understand right. We're not the fucking best. I don't know that I like this podcast. I might turn it right and I understand right. We're fucking working on it right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we got a lot of work to do.
Speaker 2:Buddy, we're good at this. If we didn't fucking try? Yeah, he would never know that he was good at football if he didn't fucking try yeah, and the fact that he made a bet and stuck with it. You know dude, so other sidebar all right, I played a lot of sports growing up as, like I, was a huge sports kid.
Speaker 2:Okay, basketball, football, soccer, you name it, loved it right so when I got to high school, I had to choose between soccer and football. It was really hard for me, actually, because I've been playing soccer since I was five I've been playing football since I was in like fifth grade, okay, so I'd been playing soccer longer.
Speaker 2:So that summer leading up to freshman year of high school, I trained with the soccer team, so I ran with them, I did all this shit and I didn't really like the guys. If I'm being real, I don't know. It's like hanging out with a bunch of like. If you hung out with a bunch of missionaries, it's cool, but maybe not for me, maybe this isn't for me. So I get to it's cool, but maybe not for me, maybe this isn't for me. So I get to my very first practice and I had to sidebar this because it was your first practice.
Speaker 2:You see how many things happen like that.
Speaker 3:It's weird.
Speaker 2:So I get to the soccer field, I'm watching football. Right, they do that drill where two guys are standing next to each other and they throw the ball out and whoever gets it, whatever you know, it's kind of like an endurance thing. Yeah, and they throw the ball out and whoever gets it, whatever you know, it's kind of like an endurance thing. Yeah, okay, he does. I'm standing next to a kid. I'm looking at this kid and it's like the cocky kid on the team. Yep, and I already know I'm like the fuck is this guy? So I, I start sprinting, he starts running. We're neck and neck. I give him a shoulder. He went fucking flying, got the ball, scored a goal. Thought I nailed it right. Yeah, coach, looks at me and goes absolutely not. The fuck is wrong with you. This isn't football, no joke. I looked him dead in the eye and I said you're right, fuck this, I quit, I'm playing football. That's how I joined the football team.
Speaker 2:Yep, that's it wow so I practiced one time no switched, which was fucking happy as shit about it so back to my story.
Speaker 1:So the the coach, so I, I last like three more weeks right in practice. I don't even know if it was three weeks, it might have been two, but what happened was is that I discovered this thing that is out there in the ether, it's called pussy Vagina. So I discovered that and that really kind of ended my football days, you know so you quit football.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so you are a high school dropout, just football.
Speaker 1:So back to the next. So this is like summertime, right, yeah. So that fall we start school and I had signed up for the strength training and everything in the gym for football, like that was like the football team. Yeah, that did it and I kept it because I started playing golf and I'm like, well, this will help my strength and everything. The first day of class the coach is the. The football coach is the gym teacher, right, of course. So I walk in and he sees me and we're doing our calisthenics and running around and all that shit. And he calls me over and he's like what are you doing here? I'm like I'm in your class because I'm playing golf and like you had to be in a sport to be in that class, I'm like I'm playing golf. So he's like I thought you joined underwater basket weaving. So that, yeah, basket weaving Said that, yeah, I'm like fuck you, dude, even dick. Yeah, have you heard of?
Speaker 2:pussy. That's why I'm not here, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, have you heard of it.
Speaker 2:Go get some, because you need to get laid dude, fuck you buddy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was just like blown away when he asked me that Like underwater basket weaving so yeah, he was pissed that I quit the team.
Speaker 2:That's all he's got, though. Yeah, I don't give a fuck the check that comes in the mail for that season is like four grand right. So someone quitting the team, it's all pride, it has nothing to do with results.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he was a total dick.
Speaker 2:Little did he know that you'd be the fucking mayor dude. So every time I come to Brad's street every time me and my wife joke and I say that he's the mayor of Yorktown. Yorktown. Mayor of Yorktown so every single time that I talk to him, I mention that my wife's never going to believe that I'm talking to the mayor of Yorktown.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So I got a really funny story for you. It's kind of funny because it goes right along with our high school glory days of being dropouts.
Speaker 1:Mine weren't glory days, I did graduate high school Actually.
Speaker 2:I did play football all four years too, and I was at a conference. I was actually pretty good.
Speaker 1:Nice what position did you?
Speaker 2:play. I was a left guard on offense and I was a defensive end on defense.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:So I played on the end either way, right, yeah, but I loved it. Man, I still miss it, just like I don't know. I probably would have enjoyed it if I had a stagging, you know, if it leads to me fucking someone up. I just can't do it now in the gym right when it's like what are you working out for?
Speaker 1:To look better, I don't care, I'll run 50 yards if I get to hit somebody yeah.
Speaker 2:If I can smack someone around and no one can say shit to me, I'm all for it.
Speaker 1:I'm game.
Speaker 2:And every time someone's talking about working out for a sport, I think of Kenny Powers, from Eastbound and Down. He's like I once had a coach tell me that I needed to lift more weights. Why that's fucking heavy? Let me ask you this If we were on an island and there were no weight drills, no weights, who would be on top then? The one with the fucking talent that's who. And every time that I see someone lifting weights, I think of that quote, like just why that's fucking heavy? Yeah, I have real skill. I don't need that shit. Yeah, oh my god. So, um, did you know that in 2007, I made all conference for the conference I was in in kalamazoo? Okay, for two sports really football and golf really you're shocked by that.
Speaker 2:I am I fucking suck it. I am a little shocked and don't, don't, you can't agree with me, right? It's like when your wife says like I look fucking terrible in these, like the worst thing you can say in that moment. It's like, yeah, you do, okay, I love that. I have little clubs and I don't do well, and I just go out there and smoke a doom and hang out right right but in 2007 I made a conference for football and golf wow, I am, I am shocked I am shocked with that even more shocked when you hear the fucking end of this.
Speaker 2:All right, okay, so because I made an old conference, they, they scheduled a time for us to like take our pictures for the, for the gazette and the newspaper and all that shit stupid, you know, I don't even think they probably do it anymore, so I think it was at, like parchment high school yeah and it's just in the gym, the um, the bleachers down, so you're gonna go up and sit, oh, okay yeah, okay, like you're sitting on the bleachers.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah Okay.
Speaker 2:So like I had to wear my football jersey, whatever, so I wore a home jersey. They take all the conference photos that day for all the sports, so it's track is there football's there golf's there, swimming's there Golf's there, swimming's there.
Speaker 3:Okay, basketball, do it all in one day.
Speaker 2:So all the winter sports are there, or all the I don't know what you'd call football.
Speaker 1:A spring sport maybe, but anyway, they probably just waited until everything kind of came together.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Football and golf and all that. So we all met at Parchment High School. The football picture was first. Obviously it's what everyone's watching. Just messing. I'm just messing, so they take the football picture first. I get done. I had a couple buddies that were there and I hung out, you know, with the different teams and hung out.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So I had two buddies that were on the golf team and they go yeah, we're fucking waiting around for our picture because blank, blank and blank didn't fucking show up to take their picture for being all conference Like they had shit going on that day. I was like those fuckers, light bulb. This could be great. If I take my fucking jersey off, he's not going to remember what I look like. So I go out to my car Okay, this is 18-year-old Eric dude that thought of this. I take my jersey off. I come back with just a track jacket on, yep, trying to. You know, fuck with the guy. If I'm a photographer, I'm not gonna remember everyone's faces oh yeah yeah, I look at my buddy on the golf team.
Speaker 2:I said, watch this, the golf team all goes. They announce that the golf team goes and I walk with them. I look at my buddy from school and I say, watch this. And he's fucking dying.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, dude, dying. I said I'm Sean Tucker from Battle Creek, Penfield. You're here to take my all-conference photo. Where do I go? He's like I was late. Oh my god, dude, the guy is so welcoming and kind to me, sits me down. They take the picture. Dude, my buddies are fucking dying. I'm sitting in a picture for a sport that I didn't play. I was not at the golf. I want to make that fucking clear. Okay, I was just football. I loved basketball, but some of the coaches that I had there were just.
Speaker 2:They just made it miserable and just I learned my passion was full and that's okay. So two weeks later I get home and my mom is sitting at the the counter and she's fucking laughing. But she's got that like mom. Look on her face. Like what the fuck she goes. Eric, you sure are an incredible golfer, that's what everyone says about Chuck. I said, oh no, did it come out? Sure as shit, they printed it.
Speaker 2:I have a copy of this newspaper it has the golf picture and it also has the football picture and ironically they're next to each other. So my cut out of it that I have shows me in both and it lists me as Sean Tucker from Medicaid. So every time I'm on the golf course or I can't believe I haven't said this, but yeah, I made all conference in 2007 for the kalamazoo valley association start calling you sean team without playing golf I have to start calling you sean dude.
Speaker 2:That's it on the golf course athletic director did not find that funny oh, I'm sure at the school, oh yeah, but I was already kind of known as that guy. Yeah, dude, I went to like a I don't even know if you'd call it like full-on private, like semi-private school yeah and dude, it was like expected, that's what's so great.
Speaker 2:Like every time, like I saw my principal after the fact, like at a gas station, she told me I set a record for coming to her office. I was like shit. I was like I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1:I can buy that. See, that's something I can get behind.
Speaker 2:No you provided constant entertainment. There was a librarian, that uh sweater vest like the thick brimmed glasses total douchebag. Trolled everybody in there and I just trolled him back and he did not like it. I said no facebook on my computers inside my computer lab and I could do it so good and sometimes I get to uh the principal's office, mrs dink and mrs dink dude, yeah, that, tell me, that shouldn't be a pot shop, dude, mrs dink oh yeah, because everyone loves your mom and everybody loves dank crack, so like boom boom right wow, just thought of that.
Speaker 2:I'll write about her. Um, so I, yeah, I ran into her and, uh, and she was telling me she's like, seriously, though some of your impressions that you could do were so spot on, that like there was times where you'd come in my office you'd be like hi, mr dave, how are you? I'm just letting you know I'm here to report because I I happen to be in trouble and she reminded me of a time that I actually found a sweater vest in our lost and found oh, no shit into the library like it just fucking did it so oh my god my God, he lost it Just like throwing shit as an adult.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, fucking just passed.
Speaker 2:I wish I felt bad, but if you met this guy, you would love this.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I'm sure there's a few teachers that I've had through the years that I would love to see that kind of thing happen to Like.
Speaker 2:I'll bet he keeps a schedule for when he has to clean like his legos at home.
Speaker 1:He's that weird guy uh, yeah, do you have another another sports one not really. No, I mean, I you know, like I said, I played golf in high school.
Speaker 2:I was never, uh, you know, a star yeah, I don't think'd call myself a star either, never got my picture taken Twice.
Speaker 2:And actually I got three for it because I was in the preview I don't know some stupid thing, but I didn't get to Jackson's photo. But I think I learned a lot from that situation. I got a lot to that golf team that year Leadership, I got leadership, charisma. Golf team that year leadership, charisma and my ability to adapt to any situation as long as I have a track jacket on. So I got one more. If that's okay, yeah, go for it, man. And I'd like to think I'm a sports legend for that. I don't think anyone else in Michigan can say I made all my probably not golf without golfing yeah, I.
Speaker 1:I would suspect that nobody is in that category yeah, no way.
Speaker 2:so have you ever had that moment where it feels like you're in a sitcom, where like something happens and like you could almost predict if it was on television, but there's no fucking way like it feels like it's happening? Yeah, so this is a football story again. So junior year, typical teenager living for Friday nights football. So it's actually kind of ironic too, because we were playing parchment. Okay, with the photo.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I looked at that field when I got done with it and I said I'll be, back. You know what I'm saying. Okay, so this is junior year and we were playing Parchment. They had a really good quarterback that year, so I was on varsity and varsity games matter way more.
Speaker 1:You make playoffs and all that shit.
Speaker 2:They had a really good quarterback. It's the third quarter. I'm playing defense and their quarterback was a stud, so we would watch film before the game. We're watching this guy and it's like shit. He's good, right. His last name is Wolf.
Speaker 1:He could actually throw. I'm going to say Kyle Wolf.
Speaker 2:I know his name but I don't think it's fair so I don't want to drop it right. Really cool, like just fantastic football player. Probably looked like Ben Roethlisberger when he first tried it right. So it's third quarter of this game and it's a pretty important game for us. Like we're kind of on the cusp of being good but we're not great, so like we need this win for playoffs. It's a big game.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, sure.
Speaker 2:I'm playing the right end, which would be his blind side. So when he goes back to throw, I get a completely clean release. Dude, Fucking smoking. I hit him so fucking hard, dude, Like I hit him harder than Axl Rose hit the bottle in the fucking 90s. And when you're out there, that's the thing, that's kind of weird. Just to set the tone Like it's all hype right, Like you're all in your head.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, Like.
Speaker 2:I'd have a playlist I'd listen to on the bus, Like it was rituals You're in your head.
Speaker 1:You got your championship music going on.
Speaker 2:Smacking your body against another body. It's fucking crazy.
Speaker 1:It's kind of like sex without the good time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so like I take the star player down, dude, and I fucking hit him so hard, yeah, like I saw him on the ground, just like wallowing in pain, man, I felt terrible. It's that moment where, like you want it to be cool.
Speaker 2:But it's not but you just hurt somebody, like hurt somebody right, never came back in the game and, dude, I felt weird after that Because, like you always say it, coach said you know, hit the fuck out of that guy and you know, break his fucking arm. I don't give a shit. And then it happens. Yeah, not a cool moment.
Speaker 2:You just get that sinking feeling All my hype had vanished and now I'm thinking about that, like my playlist is out of my head. I, this is out of my head. I'm just kind of like in a weird zone. Right, yeah, I went from like let's go kill people to like I'm going to puke quick. So this is where it gets fucking funny. Okay, there's nothing funny about that situation, but Right.
Speaker 2:So fast forward to 2013,. I'm working downtown Kalamazoo, right on the Kal mall. My co-worker, katie at the time, really sweet girl she goes oh, my husband's stopping by for lunch. I didn't think about it at all. She starts explaining that they met at parchment high school. Oh yeah, we're the exact same age. She starts explaining all the girls like oh yeah, he played quarterback, he's on the football team. Oh shit, he's um really sweet guy like, but she like led with that like it must be really fucking important.
Speaker 3:So now she's got my attention, yeah, on that, you may see.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah uh-oh, did he ever get injured? Yeah, some jackass broke his arm, I think junior year. But you know he really thinks that's the reason he's not playing college, like, but that's okay, he's okay dude, you're ruining dreams over there.
Speaker 2:He walks in yeah I'm like nervous, guilty, like I had just like done something horrible, like I just fucking like like upper deckered their house like it's like dude, they know my shit. They know my shit in the wrong place. This is like when you know I love streaks on the streaks on the bowl. Yeah, the shit in the wrong place. This is like when you know something's wrong.
Speaker 1:I love streaks on the bowl, yeah.
Speaker 2:The elephant in the room was fucking huge, but just for me, not for him, right. He had no idea who I was, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Right, yep Did you ever tell him.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I finally started asking the questions, like you're on a date and you know someone has syphilis. And like you're like you're fucked. Okay, you're in a bad situation right after you fucked. What about a doctor? The doctor button, you know. Yeah. So I'm asking all those questions, you know, and I'm just trying to feel it. I'm like I just fucking said it. I was like, dude, I broke your arm.
Speaker 2:Uh, junior year of high school and I felt fucking terrible no shit, and I was like I've always wanted to apologize, dude, he was the nicest fucking guy in the world really he would do no worries, man like dude, it's just a game. I understand the risk that comes with it. I'm glad. I'm glad there is risk because it makes it more interesting, like, yeah, and I kind of learned a couple things, like how's a great guy and you never know when life circles back right. Oh yeah, had I been like showboating on the sideline after hurting a human being.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that would have actually gone terrible, right.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I probably would have met Kyle before that, right. But like you never know when life will circle back, even if you're leaving a job, even if you're like leaving a bad situation, like just he, a good fucking person, do the right thing, like yeah, and that's why I like like how I was raised, because, like in that moment, right, it was an instinct that for me to feel bad for another but who knows how many other people would have that Right and I got over and started cracking jokes Like dude, his parents are in the stands. Can you imagine if a and then fucking showboated about it? Yeah.
Speaker 3:It's over that wouldn't go well. And there's plenty of kids out there that, do that.
Speaker 2:Karma's real and life has a way of circling back.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, it'll come back and bite you, it's just it's. I love it though It'll either come back and bite you in the ass or give you a big hug.
Speaker 2:Yep, yeah, but it is top five time time. I fucking know that for a goddamn fact and I think that I've been talking a lot.
Speaker 1:So I think we go with your top five.
Speaker 2:Good, so my top five. All right, once again, everybody this is the top five worst like names on a jersey.
Speaker 1:Names on a jersey or sponsors on a jersey or sponsors for a team yeah, and it could be little league, it could be any anywhere along the football generation yeah anywhere in that I just a quick small request from the audience.
Speaker 2:Do you think that it's possible that you could say in the jersey would say I wish I had more.
Speaker 1:I wish I had more of those. All right, so my uh, my first one, and these aren't in any particular order, I, just as I was thinking, about them, I wrote them down.
Speaker 3:Yep.
Speaker 1:So my first one is for the name of the jersey Time Out, Because it would just be really fucking confusing.
Speaker 3:Time Out.
Speaker 1:Like as if there was a team Like Brian time out.
Speaker 2:Brian time out oh my God, if they shout it, it would sound like someone's putting you in the corner every fucking time. Brian time out. No, no, I've been good. I've been good, it's got to be someone else.
Speaker 1:It would be confusing all the way through school, man, I like it, I. It would be confusing all the way through school, man, I like it, I, love it. Okay, number two Name on the jersey Fumbler Fumbler dude. It'd just be a wide receiver's nightmare.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, dude, it'd have to be like a Tommy Fumbler, like it just sounds right, dude, tommy Fumbler, he's known for fucking up, but he runs real fast.
Speaker 1:He leaves a ball behind him, but he runs real fast.
Speaker 2:If your team ends up recovering, you'll be fine, all right.
Speaker 1:Third one so this is a sponsor Bob's Bale Bondsman. So this is a sponsor, bob's Bail Bondsman, and the sponsor logo would say making sure all your teammates can attend.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, oh my God, dude, bob's Bail Bondsman, the first and official partner of the NFL. We would like to thank Bill and also all their fans that are listening to that. Bob's Bail Bonds, so your homies can attend too.
Speaker 1:Okay, number four Tinder Swipe right for a touchdown. Oh my God.
Speaker 2:How did you meet your husband? Well, it's kind of a funny story. So they ran the sand campaign and it was swipe right for a touchdown, so I was on there with my matches which I didn't want to really match with them and I thought I'm going to swipe right on ten of them because they just told me to.
Speaker 1:That's how we met. That's how.
Speaker 3:I met Sean and now we're five.
Speaker 1:That's how I met Brian Timeout.
Speaker 2:He's a really good guy, way better than Tommy Fumbler.
Speaker 1:All right, and the last one Sawyer Funeral Home. We'll help you bury the competition.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, dude, that's gold. Sawyer Funeral Home. We'll help you bury the competition. Oh my god, dude, that's gold. Wow, we will help you bury the competition. That's my top five. Oh my god, we'll help you. And like their ads, could have like tombstones with, like the other quarterbacks, name on it. Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I like it. That'd be a great sponsor.
Speaker 2:I think what I love the most about these top fives is that mine is so different from yours.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So mine are all sponsors of specific teams. Oh, okay, yeah.
Speaker 1:These are cool. I can't wait, dude, I just know. I can't wait to hear.
Speaker 2:I got a feeling.
Speaker 3:Wee-hee.
Speaker 2:You ready for this shit? Yeah, number five. Wait, you went one to five, right?
Speaker 1:No particular order.
Speaker 2:Dude, I'm going to format paint this situation and I'm going to start with one. Okay, Number one the Detroit Lions.
Speaker 3:Yep.
Speaker 2:The sponsor would be Spirit of Halloween, because they show up once a year and never when you fucking need them. Show up once a year and never when you fucking need them In spirit of Halloween also goes away as soon as the playoffs start. Pretty much, so that's what accounts to here. I can't do it I couldn't fucking believe that this year I know Sold out fucking stadium $900 ticket. Everyone's hype.
Speaker 3:Couldn't pull it off Credit to Jaden Daniels's hell of a guy, but like hell of a quarterback.
Speaker 2:So talented but, my god, Fucking A Dan Campbell, why didn't you bite his kneecap off? We're all you know. Fuck. Alright, number two I wanted to say four, but I said two. Number two the Las Vegas Raiders. And and only fans would be their sponsor, because nothing says commitment to bad decisions like the raiders and a subscription based premium porn service.
Speaker 2:Like being real with you. I think the raiders have it worse than the lions in the last 50 years, like we at least had stafford and calvin johnson and barry sanders and we've at least had moments, right, yeah, the raiders have just queefed all over like their fan base. They do, they dress up, they wear the makeup yeah, that's true, always wheel out the shittiest fucking product dude yeah like waiting for led zeppelin to play dude and like, uh, I don't know the sex tissues show up the sex tissues show up.
Speaker 2:Dude, yeah, keith, turbin opened up. What the fuck is this? We're all hype yeah number three, the New England Patriots. Their sponsor would be Viagra For when the dynasty is struggling to stay up.
Speaker 3:Oh my god.
Speaker 1:Oh shit, they're struggling. That's a team. After Tom Brady left Dude Boom Down In the dumps.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's from Michigan, though. I know that's what makes it awesome. You can't not like Brady.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Dude yeah, politics aside, the dude's a legend. Number two no shit, shit, there I go. Four.
Speaker 1:Number four can't fucking count today the.
Speaker 2:Jacksonville Jaguars. Okay, the sponsor is Dollar Tree Condoms, because being a fan of Jacksonville is like taking risks that you know are not gonna end well oh shit, not going to end well, oh shit, oh man, five Number five, you sure. Positive the Dallas Cowboys. The sponsor would be Pornhub. The fan base is used to finishing disappointed but still coming back. Oh my god oh dude.
Speaker 2:I saw that I was like I literally thought of that dude like, oh my god, this is fucking gold. Every year the Cowboys start out 6-2, then it goes 7-2, then it goes 8-3, then it goes 8-4, 8-5, 8-6 and everyone's like fuck that, chris Scott, and then the season's just over. That's awesome, yeah. So poor job, I think is really missing out on some great advertising stuff. Right now I can't speak, oh man.
Speaker 1:I didn't have any extras that I wrote down anyway.
Speaker 2:I had. The team would be Ohio State. The sponsor would be M-Den, because, fuck, ohio, m-den is the official sponsor of Michigan Football. There you go, the Washington Commanders. The sponsor would be Depends because the franchise that has you leaking in the wrong places constantly. What the fuck?
Speaker 1:I would have gone with. It depends on what year it is what we're going to call ourselves.
Speaker 2:Oh my god, that's good. I like that. I lost my train of thought while reading my own writing test, thinking about the Pornhub thing. So what if the Green Bay Packers were sponsored by Fleshlight? They're used to handling things solo in the cold of Wisconsin.
Speaker 3:Or the Lions and Blockbuster.
Speaker 2:It's perfect for a team that's stuck in the fucking past. Oh yeah, sponsored by like Enron or Blockbuster or any of the things that aren't around anymore. Yeah, Enron.
Speaker 1:That's a touchy subject.
Speaker 2:For the Chiefs sponsored by Blue Chew, for when your quarterback and fan base decide to flop, rock hard result. Rock hard result Dude what if the Eagles were sponsored by Kegel Beans and they weren't by the Kegels, the Philly Kegels, the New York Jets, sponsored by Crash Dummy Testing, because they have been wrecked on the field for the past 50 years.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh shit, those are some good ones Pornhub dude's.
Speaker 3:That has to be number one, that is it.
Speaker 1:That's I'm calling it right now, but if we go, back through this finishing disappointed that was awesome. Yeah, that's definitely that's that. That's my number one, that's my pick for the next episode for sure.
Speaker 2:So here's a question for you. All right In the next. Okay, a couple Super Bowl predictions. Really quick, how many times will Taylor Swift be shown on the television over or under 20 times shown? More Okay, brad's going up, I'll go. Okay, so I'm going below. We got to do the opposites. More Okay, brad's going up, I'll go Okay, so I'm going below. We got to do the opposites Okay. So now I get to pick.
Speaker 1:So I think the next one is how many times will Mahone flop More?
Speaker 2:I put the over under. What would you put the over under? I think the over under should be at two. Oh, because that would just be a definitive flop that draws a penalty, but that just, oh, okay. All right Two times where it's like obvious. Okay, yeah, I'm going to go under on that.
Speaker 1:I'm going over then. Okay, yeah, I'm thinking that he's going to do it five times, five times that. It's obvious that that's what he's doing.
Speaker 2:Here's a good one. If the Chiefs win, how many times will Travis Kelsey say the word bro in his speech?
Speaker 1:Over or under three. I'm going to say under. Okay, so you can win that one. You're going under, I'm going under.
Speaker 2:And the last one how bad do the ratings dip when Kendrick Lamar takes the stage?
Speaker 1:Oh, I think everybody turns it off.
Speaker 2:Do you think, or do you think they leave it up?
Speaker 1:It's definitely going down. Do you have a stat?
Speaker 2:for how many people are actually watching. I'll bet it would be staggering.
Speaker 1:How much it goes down or how much it goes up.
Speaker 2:I'll bet it's still on the TV.
Speaker 1:Okay, so let's say this let's say this oh yeah, everybody's headed to the concession stand.
Speaker 2:Oh, here's a better one. How many set changes does Kendrick Lamar have? How many different stages or different outfits? I'm going to put the over or under at five. I'm going to say under Okay, all right, yeah, that's it. Okay, okay. So Brad thinks that Taylor Swift should be shown under 20 times Mahomes.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, I said over.
Speaker 2:Oh, I said under Okay, these are mine. Okay, you think that Taylor Swift should be shown over 20 times Yep when the game starts. So first quarter oh from any yeah. Yeah, at any point Fourth quarter end will flop more than two times. Is what you think too.
Speaker 3:Yep.
Speaker 2:Kelsey will say the word bro in his speech less than three times, three times. And you think Kendrick Lamar will have less than five set changes.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:We have to go over those and it might not be our next episode. It might actually have to be episode seven.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we can go seven yeah okay, because it's going to be a minute before we watch the game.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but that's it, folks. That's all I've got for you, we've got some predictions.
Speaker 1:Hey, what are your predictions? Throw us some comments on what your predictions are going to be for those.
Speaker 2:Yeah, anywhere, we always have a direct line to our studio. Yeah, anywhere, we always have a direct line to our studio, the Rowden Laudy. Studio. We can call it whatever the fuck we want. This is great, yeah, hell yeah. But we always have a direct line of communication. It is RowdenLaudy at gmailcom. That is R-O-W-D-A-N-D-L-O-U-D-Y at gmailcom.
Speaker 1:All right, everybody. Thanks for listening. We'll catch you on the next episode. Absolutely Thanks, Jay and Chris and Brad's wife Peace, peace, we'll see you next time.
