Rowd & Loudy Comedy Podcast
Welcome to Rowd and Loudy, the podcast where two blue-collar best friends from Michigan take you on a wild ride through life’s highs and lows. Whether we’re swapping stories from the jobsite, sharing laughs over backyard beers, or diving deep into the struggles and triumphs of everyday life, we keep it real, raw, and relatable. Expect a mix of humor, heart, and hard truths as we navigate the chaos of work, family, and friendship—all with a Midwest twist. Tune in and join the crew for a weekly dose of unfiltered conversation, a little rowdiness, and a lot of laughs!
Every episode features funny stories, funny moments and a top 5. The top 5 is unique because we do not share our top 5's with each other until we are live on the air.
The catch neither Brad nor Eric knows what the other person is going to say, the shock value is incredible. This is a comedy podcast about all the fun stuff in life.
Every episode features funny stories and a top 5.
Join Eric and Brad on a Rowd and Loudy Journey today!
Rowd & Loudy Comedy Podcast
Episode 7 - Chaotic Childhood: Mischief, Music Industry Rants, and Tequila Teasers
What if you could relive the most chaotic and hilarious moments of your childhood? This episode promises a rollercoaster ride from the past, as we revisit the mischief that defined our early years. We kick it off with tales of schoolyard antics and the dread of those infamous calls to parents. Of course, we couldn't resist sharing our favorite out-of-office replies, including the infamous banana sculptures and tequila-fueled Netflix sessions that left us in stitches. We even revisit our hilariously off-base Super Bowl predictions, complete with a debate over Taylor Swift's surprise appearances.
Our journey continues as we poke fun at the music industry's quirks and the often-questioned authenticity of awards. Between the laughs, we reminisce about sleepovers and youthful pranks that once landed us in hot water. Whether it's the trials of sneaking alcohol into a resort or the innocent memories of a second-grade mishap, there's plenty of nostalgia to go around. And, of course, we can't forget the epic tale of gummy bears and semi-trucks during a wild road trip, proving that teenage adventures are as unpredictable as they are unforgettable.
Join us as we wrap up with cheeky humor and anecdotes that highlight family dynamics and parental influence. From the unforgettable chaos of vacation mishaps to the humor in family pranks, we celebrate the lessons learned from youthful indiscretions. And as always, we promise more laughs and memories in future episodes. So tune in, sit back, and let us transport you to a time when everything was simpler, but absolutely nothing was predictable.
ROWD and LOUDY is the ultimate comedy podcast where two best friends share hilarious, never-before-heard stories in every episode! Tune in for laughs, surprises, and spontaneous humor as each episode features fresh, funny tales that one of the hosts has never heard before. Plus, every episode includes a Top 5 list where we rank and discuss random topics, adding even more fun to the mix. Whether you’re into storytelling, comedy, or just want to hear two friends banter about life, ROWD and LOUDY has you covered.
Listen now for your weekly dose of laughter, entertainment, and raw, unfiltered humor.
Comedy, Funny Stories, Humor Podcast, Best Friend Podcast, Hilarious Podcast, Top 5 Podcast, Hilarious Podcast, Storytelling Podcast, Weekly Comedy Show, Laugh out Loud Podcast, Unfiltered Humor.
Welcome back to the Roud and Loudy podcast. This is episode seven, and I'm here with my good buddy, eric.
Speaker 2:What's up?
Speaker 1:I am Brad and we got a good show for you tonight. We are going to cover basically what we got in trouble for as kids.
Speaker 2:My list is long. I can't wait. We might need a part 2 on this one dude. Need a part two on this one dude.
Speaker 1:I can't wait. And then we're going to go over a top five reasons worst phone calls that you could get from your child's school. That's going to be an interesting one. I got some good ones for that. I do too. And then, before we get started, we're going to cover our top three from our previous episode. Eric oh, that's me, that is you.
Speaker 2:Go for it. So we came up with a beautiful list and, once again, if you want to listen to the previous episodes, we go through 10 ideas on the previous episodes. However you're listening, just listen to the one before this, right, and you'll fucking nail that.
Speaker 1:Go back one.
Speaker 2:So our list from last one, um, our top three, number three. My out of office reply would say I've been whacking off for all day. When I come out of here, I'm going to look like Popeye the sailor. Imagine how fucking confusing that would be. Like it doesn't have any like I quit, it doesn't have any. Like you know, it's just like telling them you're masturbating yeah, it doesn't have any.
Speaker 1:Like I quit, it doesn't have any like you know, it's just like telling them you're masturbating, right? Yeah, I'm going to have trouble with typing when I get done.
Speaker 2:Yeah, your next email will probably be from HR. I made an inappropriate banana statue at the company potluck.
Speaker 1:This is number two.
Speaker 2:Yep, I made an inappropriate banana sculpture at the company potluck. That's something I would totally do.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I can see that, just make it look like a dick, you know?
Speaker 2:Yeah, look it over. Can you imagine if we were in the same room? It's like bah Bah.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, Check this out.
Speaker 2:Dude, it looks like a dick. Yes, stop paying attention to the shitty meeting and look at this dick sculpture that I just did. So our number one goes to Brad. I'm binging Netflix and drinking tequila. I will respond once I run out of booze or shows, whichever goes first.
Speaker 1:It was just a picture of all the booze that you've consumed and ones that you got four or five half gallons left Currently out of the office Put the day that started.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, end date just paid to be determined.
Speaker 1:To be determined.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God.
Speaker 1:That would be some shit. If I got that, I'd call them up and say, hey, when can I be there?
Speaker 2:I want to come to this tequila party. I feel like have you seen stranger things? It's a. There's a lot of content. We have a lot of luck in the drink, right? Yeah?
Speaker 1:tequila always gets me wild. Yeah, I well.
Speaker 2:I don't drink, so but when I was drinking tequila was like my go-to dude, it brings out like the party in you where you're just like let's fucking go.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I could drink a lot, it's not what you drink when you're just like let's fucking go, yeah yeah, I could drink a lot of that too.
Speaker 2:It's not what you drink when you're sad. I don't think people in Kansas City are drinking a lot of that right now.
Speaker 1:No, no, speaking of that, yeah, speaking of that.
Speaker 2:We are not really going to go over our predictions that we talked about in episode five?
Speaker 1:Yeah, the Super Bowl predictions. How many?
Speaker 2:times we'd show Taylor Swift how many set changes there would be. We were fucking off on all of it.
Speaker 1:We completely blew the whole thing. It was as bad as the halftime performance.
Speaker 2:And the game Together. I don't know what one was worse. Dude, that's been hilarious for me, like online reading all the comments, because it's like you're white, you don't understand this, and it's like no, no, no, all, no, all right, I like Prince, I like fucking Jimi Hendrix. He's dead. That's a bad example, but, like you know, like I like everybody, it's cool. It has nothing to do with someone being white, it's just the dude sounds like he has fucking cereal in his mouth.
Speaker 1:Let's call it what it is Right.
Speaker 2:If it was Eminem, I'd say the same shit. It has nothing to do with that.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 2:But I just I get such a kick out of that because, like dude, most of the people that are sitting at home watching this game are like 40 to 70.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So you're going to wheel out this dude? That's like mumble rapping with these dude in red shirts, like making a flag, like you didn't understand the symbolism.
Speaker 1:Right, is that what it was?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like I've never gone to an ACDC concert to be like dude. Did you see the fucking contrast and symbolism on their stage, bro? Right, they had such a good message yeah that's why I'm here yeah no, I'm here because they sing fucking hell's bells and I want to hear it really fucking loud right that I did.
Speaker 1:I don't care who they voted for.
Speaker 2:Don't give a shit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I did see that he made some kind of a. He played a song or something that was supposedly at drake. Oh yeah, yeah, it was Drake. Yeah, I don't know what that's all about, but Drake came from Nickelodeon dude.
Speaker 2:He was in Degrassi. Now he's fucking beefing with people and they're like did you see? I played the song that caused you a bad person at the Super Bowl? It's like such a petty, stupid thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't get it. But yeah, all our predictions were bad, that's what we got to do.
Speaker 2:dude, we got to get into podcast battles and we'll fake rap, so that's right. Other podcasters out there. If you want to start a fake beef, all right and take this, you know we'll take either side. We'll be Drake or Kendrick Lamar and you get to be the other person. We'll mumble, rap, yeah, dude. Oh yeah, we'll rap with cereal in our mouths, dude, for sure.
Speaker 2:I'm starting to think that, like, these awards are just given away too, because that dude that sang with cereal in his mouth 26 grammys oh really 20 fucking six dude like that and everyone's like he won the pulitzer prize and that's like the best writer or something so like it just feels to me like we're just handing these awards out yeah like like beyonce got it for country album of the year that no one listened to.
Speaker 1:Yeah right, like it's just like but you don't put a wig on and a cowboy hat and pretend you're country and win country awards for country music when you don't even you're not. That's not country. I know. I don't know people that even love country music when you don't even. That's not country.
Speaker 2:I know, I don't know People that even love country music. They don't like it that much. You're putting this thing on a pedestal. That's not really you know. I mean, if you really gave me the time, I could name 50 songs for you right now about beer that have to do with country. It's a common thing, it's beer and it's like I that have to do with country. Oh yeah, it's just like it's a common thing.
Speaker 1:It's beer and it's like I gotta shine my truck and I gotta drink my whiskey and talk to my wife and every country song out there. It's like I swear to God the saying that they have. Like you play it backwards and you get all your shit back.
Speaker 2:I know, you know that's exactly that's what country music is all about, but I don't know, I just I guess the point I'm trying to make is like I hate when, when music's becoming political right. Yeah, like you, either entertain me or you don't. And I'm not making that like it's your job, go be a monkey, entertain me.
Speaker 2:Right, Like that's not what I'm saying, but what I'm saying, more or less, is like I don't need to look at a backup dancer to see what motion he's making, to see if it's a slam on somebody else. Just use your lyrics to do that, because I don't fucking know what you're doing right it's like when girls get mad at you and they say you should know why. That's how it feels with these performances why are you mad at me?
Speaker 2:you should know why it's like why was that a legendary performance like you should know? Why were you not paying attention? Are you not in tune with today?
Speaker 1:No, Apparently I'm not.
Speaker 2:It's such a weird like such a like our generation fucking thing to do. It's so stupid yeah. But, yeah, like I don't know. We can thank Maroon 5 for the fucking halftime show. Dude, Like, the last time we've had a band on stage was 2019. We brought that Adam fucking whatever his name is out there, those stupid fucking tattoos, and ever since that day, everyone's like we're good.
Speaker 1:Yep, yep.
Speaker 2:Yeah, hi, I'm calling from Guns N' Roses. We're a band. It's like click, do you have stupid tattoos? You're going to take your fucking shirt off. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh, you're hired.
Speaker 2:We like our chances with Usher. Thank you so much. Like next year, it's going to be someone we fucking don't know at all. Again, I didn't know this year. I know, and the worst part is he was on stage again in 2022. So he's been on twice in like five years and I think that maybe like 7% of the people get it. I didn't get it, but I like trying to figure that out more than I like trying to figure out how much Mahomes is crying right now after getting fucking smashed on live TV.
Speaker 1:I didn't even watch the game, to be honest.
Speaker 2:With your flopping ass, your flopping ass. Should we get into some fucking funny stories, friend? I think so.
Speaker 1:I think so. So you going first, I will All right, you go first, and then you can decide what story I tell.
Speaker 2:Ooh, story roulette. Yeah, One story one gun Okay. So this isn't so much a time I got in trouble in school. This is a time I got in trouble in life, so probably fifth or sixth grade. I stayed the night at one of my best friend's house at the time Matt from Barbauer.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, so you would have been around 10 o'clock, 10 years old.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was 10 o'clock or 11 o'clock years old at that time. Click past 10. So I stayed the night over there and you know, typical fucking dude sleepover like just playing video games, doing dumb shit, drinking Mountain Dew, eating Doritos, waking up the next day figuring out what to do.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 2:So we woke up the next day and all the adults were at work and we were there. So we wake up, I don't know, probably like yeah, 11, 12, and we look in the fridge freezer and we're like fuck this dude.
Speaker 1:Like there's, like stouffers in there and like all fucking stuff. For like a week it's like what are we gonna eat?
Speaker 2:dude, this sucks. Oh, like stouffers, like lasagna, and yeah, and I'm totally, and I'm totally letting matt take the lead on this, like oh yeah, you know, I'm the guest. So I'm not gonna be demanding, like you don't have pb and j like no, I'm going along with it. Right, I don't give a fuck if I walk out of there with three Ritz crackers, but brother's hungry, let's fucking fill this belly, you know. So he lived off West Main. Do you know where the Little Caesars is in Kalamazoo on West Main?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, first off, there's a shooting there and it is as rough as it sounds, but that's not where I'm going with this. But but that's not where I'm going with this. But be warned, that's not a very good one. Oh yeah, um so. So he looks at me and goes dude, let's fucking walk to little caesars we're like 10, 11, right, so like that's not a normal.
Speaker 2:I mean back then you could walk and do stuff and it wasn't a huge deal, like people weren't gonna be all up in like parents like nowadays, like hell no oh, yeah, sure so we're like, okay, let's get a little scissors, but we have no money.
Speaker 2:We have no ride and no money. So how the fuck are we gonna get there? And his house is like behind it, so like we have to walk through like shady shit to get there. Like I don't think they really care about landscaping on the back side of a shitty little caesars right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they don't care about landscaping on the front side. Yeah, so he.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so he's looking around and he finds pop cans first and I'm like where do we return the pop cans, matt, without a fucking car Like what's our? Okay?
Speaker 1:Yeah, what's the plan here?
Speaker 2:So we start looking around this house, dude, and it feels like we're detectives trying to find a five in the couch. Like I found a five. That's going to be a hot, ready pizza. We're good to go. So all of a sudden I hear matt like this 20 minutes later, like he like pokes his head in the garage and he's like dude, schwab, I'm like what he's like I solved it. So I go out there and he's got like one of those huge, uh, like coin holders.
Speaker 2:It's glass oh, yeah, you know like they used to make the pop bottle ones, the coke bottle like, but it's just your typical jug, but it's fucking huge. That's a big dog like probably a couple feet tall. Sure, I mean, if you were to fill that and then throw that bitch in Coinstar, like you're looking at, like six, seven hundred bucks.
Speaker 1:Okay, right, big Yep.
Speaker 2:So he starts dumping it on the ground and he's like I solved it. So this is still stealing. I know this. I'm telling him this. He doesn't listen, doesn't give a fuck Right, and it's his house. So once again, I'm letting him go with it.
Speaker 1:Right yeah.
Speaker 2:So he starts dumping it out and all of a sudden he fucking drops it and glass shatters fucking everywhere. So our chance of being anonymous in this whole fucking thing Gone, yeah, gone again.
Speaker 1:No car, 10 or 11 and all we're trying to get is pizza like this sounds so, like dude, ridiculous, right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, coins all over the fucking garage, they were everywhere oh yeah just everywhere like oh, so we're picking up the quarter just shattered okay, we're picking up quarters like crackheads outside of a casino, you know. It's just like oh 25, oh fuck, oh fuck, you know. So we get like five pizzas and three or four crazy breads for two people, and this is before pot too. Jesus dude, here's how we justified it yeah his mom loves diet coke.
Speaker 2:So he looks at me and he goes get as many diet cokes as you can. So like I got as many, two liters and 12 ounce, like 20 ounce whatever.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:We must have spent I don't know $50 in that pizza place Half of it was on Diet Coke thinking that that would get us out of trouble. And the whole time I'm looking at him I'm like, dude, we're fucked. Yeah, like we're absolutely fucked.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like if that thing maybe they wouldn't know, but still wrong. Like I don't know, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so but you could have done. You could have taken like six, seven dollars out of there and been good and the chances of them knowing that that was gone.
Speaker 2:But instead we went in there like crackheads that just got a free gift card. You know, for seventy five dollars we got to spend it all you know, like how do you eat four fucking pizzas with two dudes? Like not even like we probably had three pieces each yeah fucking idiots, dude. So I'm telling matt like his. So his parents are still at work, dude. This is all going on while they're at work, yeah, working the fucking day, slaving away, and we're fucking being dicks, yeah, and he doesn't get this oh, yeah, so I'm explaining to him like dude, my dad would fucking kill me.
Speaker 2:Love the guy, but this is grounds for kill. He's like we're fine, don't even worry about it. All right, we got Diet Coke in the fridge. We're fucking fine, I hear it.
Speaker 1:My mom's a crackhead and we got crack in the fridge, so she's not going to care.
Speaker 2:The Diet Coke will distract her for a bit, right? So I hear the garage pull up you know, yeah, yeah, 20 seconds later, matt get out here, so I start picking up my shit right like, I'm like, I'm going home for sure, this is not gonna fucking go well, so his dad drove me home, and matt didn't get to come with me either, so that was even weirder like that was oh it was so awkward, dude.
Speaker 2:Ah, so long story short. If you're 10 to 11 and you're hungry, just stick to the fucking cabinets. It is not worth all this bullshit. Don't go on an adventure and diet coke will never appease a parent that makes no fucking sense. Me, surge, we'll talk. You want to wrap me and fill my fridge up with surge, I'm good with it yeah, yeah, that's.
Speaker 1:Your son might hear this later and he's gonna know how to get away with shit, so but surge is the truth, man like but yeah, so I don't know I was very like shell-shocked around them for a long time oh, yeah, like his parents. They're sweet people they're really really nice people like, I love them truly, both of them so was he like grounded for a while. Yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah and I love maddie too.
Speaker 2:He's a great dude, but he's just confusing sometimes. Yeah, yeah he's just one of those dudes that, like you, just don't like, like we're not talking right now because he didn't come to a friend's giving that we literally scheduled around his schedule. Oh no shit. He canceled it and then said fuck you guys. On Bart Bauer Bash.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:And it's like if someone were to come up to me and ask me, like, what just happened to this relationship? My answer would be he didn't put us on his fucking calendar. We've given him 30 fucking passes on this kind of shit.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:He pissed off me and my wife, danny, and Danny's wife and all the same fucking time.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I had to put my fucking foot down because I'm so sick of. I'm sick of like having to bail for him or like have to explain it to everybody.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And it's like that's why we're not buddies, Like we're not buddies because he didn't come to something and then spit in my face about it. Oh no shit, Go fuck yourself. It's just like the coins, it's just like the coins. I'm just waiting for my Diet Coke, because that's how it feels, Because that's going to make it all better.
Speaker 1:You need Surge. Oh my God, dude, oh shit. So take your pick. I got two stories so you can hear about Second Grade Shitstorm or Lawnmower Rock Launch Dude those are awesome choices, so what would you rather hear?
Speaker 2:I'm thinking Lawnmower, rock Launch, because I have a funny feeling that Second Grade Shitstorm involves a second grader taking a shit, and I don't know that. I want to hear it. No, if you don't want to hear about that, then you really don't want to hear that story, does that?
Speaker 1:have to do with Dookie. It's about me.
Speaker 2:Did you shit your pants in second grade? Okay, so do you want to hear that fucking story? Apparently, I signed up for it. I think we're here now. We're that fucking story. Apparently I signed up for it. I think we're here now we're in this space.
Speaker 1:Okay, I started one way, I went the other right. Okay, so back in second grade. I was so back at that time my teacher at the time would make us go to the corner and then raise our hand if we wanted to go to the bathroom. Okay, Mm-hmm. So I got up. I go to the corner, raise my hand. I don't know if she doesn't see me, I don't know. She waited way too fucking long. Okay, how long was it up for? I don't know. Dude, a second grade I don't fucking remember.
Speaker 2:You're like seven.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm seven years old, so I'm holding it up and I'm waiting, I'm waiting, I'm waiting and I got to shit. Okay, I got to go. I don't remember if I actually made it to the bathroom or if I was on my way, or if I shit my pants in the corner. I don't know, but I shit my pants in the corner. I don't know, but I shit my pants, okay.
Speaker 2:So I get.
Speaker 1:Did everybody know? No, wait, I'm getting there. I'm getting there, so I get to the bathroom and I've obviously shit my pants, there's no question. And it's fucking, it's runny dude Like bad.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So I clean myself up the best I can. How? I'm seven years old Okay, let's put that out there Seven years old. I clean myself up the best I can, what I think is good. I finish whatever I got to do, right. I get back to the classroom. Finish whatever I got to do, right? I get back to the classroom, I walk in and I sit down and I don't know. A couple minutes go by and I noticed that there's a couple of kids like sitting beside me or behind me. They're like they're looking, they're kind of like pointing to the teacher. Dude, I had shit all over the chair behind me, because it was, it was all over the back of me. Dude, all over my shirt and shit I had no idea.
Speaker 1:Oh my god it was shit were they nice or awful? Huh, were they nice about it I don't remember them being like, you know, like dicks you know, like can be. I don't remember that happening.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but.
Speaker 1:I'm sure. So obviously my mom gets called right, oh fuck. And she's like why didn't you just go to the bathroom? I'm like, because we got to raise our fucking hand and go to the bathroom. We got to wait. Yeah, okay, I realize now that's never going to fucking happen again. If I got a shit and I bet you, I bet you without a doubt, that the teacher changed her policy after that happened. Okay, like, if you got to go, just go.
Speaker 2:Did the janitor come and put the wood chips down?
Speaker 1:Do you remember that? Do you remember that?
Speaker 2:He shoved them out of the playground and put them in there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I wonder what he did with those. Put them back, put them back in the but anyway. So this was second grade, right? Yeah, this was second grade, right. Yeah, my sister, when she went to college she went for assistant teacher and she got her teaching certificate and all that. She ended up subbing at that school with that teacher and she's like, obviously, it's her last name, my last name were the same. She's like are you related to a Bradley? And she said, yeah, that's my brother. And she said I had him in my classroom and he's shit, I'm sure that story came up.
Speaker 2:How long ago was it? Like 10 years oh?
Speaker 1:well, I was out of high school, I was, I was graduated and everything so glad you made it and I never shit on another chair did you ever get messed with for? That no wow that's awesome.
Speaker 2:I don't think kids today would be that nice. Like kids today are fucking brutal.
Speaker 1:Well do seven-year-olds even have like phones and shit?
Speaker 2:Because if they were, if they had phones, that would have been like all over, you know what I mean Social media oh yeah, yep. Dude. The day that seven-year-olds start posting videos to social media is the day I quit.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, we do not need that shit. We don't need that shit, we don't need more honey.
Speaker 2:boo-boos, that's for fucking sure dude yeah. But yeah, so what made it?
Speaker 1:even better that story was that my sister subbed at that school with that teacher. Was she a good teacher? I honestly don't remember second grade all that much.
Speaker 2:I don't think any of us do yeah. Yeah, I remember who the hot girl was though.
Speaker 1:I don't remember that.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to say her name on air, but I know exactly who the hot girl was that year.
Speaker 1:I don't remember though the hot girl.
Speaker 2:And I was, like I don't know, probably like four years away from dropping all those quarters and getting pizza. Oh shit, Little did I know I was going to become a legend again.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So I got a funny one for you All right. So on the topic of getting in trouble or like crazy situations, so my parents and I would take a trip to Gulf Shores, alabama, for spring break so we would drive I don't know, it's probably 14 hours to 16 hours from from Michigan.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Um, and like all the kids from school went to, so like them and their families, so like all the adults hung out and all the kids hung out. It was kind of a cool setup right. Yeah, Well, um, have you been to Gulf Shores?
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Okay, it's like the only good thing about Alabama Ever go to Gulf Shores. It's a little scary sometimes I'm just kidding Alabama, but you know what I'm saying. I haven't even been to Alabama, so You're not missing a ton, really?
Speaker 1:I mean no, it's nice.
Speaker 2:It's like the Alabama there's that Alabama and then the Florida line. That's a cool bar right on the line. Okay, it's really cool. Yes, let's make a country band, florida georgia line those dumb dubs they're probably sitting at that bar the day they made that.
Speaker 2:oh yeah, but um, so we would go down there and I mean, all sorts of shenanigans happened like and that's not the story, but like I'll get to it right like there was one time we got caught in a traffic jam. There's hail, so we actually had to pull over under a bridge and let the hail kind of smoke our car, even though just the wind.
Speaker 2:I thought it was going to break, but there was a 65-car pileup, including a boat just sitting in the middle of the road. So me and my buddies are sitting there licking gummy bears and fucking chucking them at the the box part of the semi.
Speaker 2:So they stick and it was so funny counting all the ones like because you'd drive for, like you'd drive for like an hour and you'd look over and you'd see fucking gummy bears all over, like a me Meyer turkey, on the side of a box truck. But anywho, so 07 or 06, no, it would have been my senior year. So I actually took a friend, so we stayed in the condo that was right on the water and I'm sure it was probably reasonably priced but probably a little ridiculous too. So we had our own room in the back, like like our own like door shut room, like it was a full-on condo. So my parents had their own room, living room, you know, back room.
Speaker 2:so yeah, I mean, every night we were there, you know, as soon as it got dark we were drinking, oh yeah you know being stupid and that's what's so funny about me, dude that that a lot of people don't know or wouldn't think, is that I got so much of that out when I was young, like 17, 18, 19, 20, that by the time I turned 21,. I didn't even give a fuck.
Speaker 1:Yeah, me too, I started going to bars more and hanging out with buddies.
Speaker 2:We had a couple bars we could walk to at Westerns. We'd get fucking plowed and just walk home. It was awesome.
Speaker 1:I was never a big bar guy at all.
Speaker 2:No, I just I don't really get it like I guess I don't get it like I'm a very social guy, yeah, but like for me, like I would like to be by a bonfire with people or I'd like to be like playing cornhole or playing euchre oh my god, playing cornhole. And I said it's so calm, dude, I'm gonna call my wife after this we're just gonna start calling it bags.
Speaker 1:Okay, playing cornhole and.
Speaker 2:I said it so calm, dude, I'm going to call my wife after this.
Speaker 1:We're just going to start calling it bags, okay, yeah cornhole's got to go.
Speaker 2:Yeah, cornhole's got to go. We're over this Anywho. So this isn't like the Playing cornhole out by the fire with the guys. The prime of my getting fucked up, eric okay, is on this trip. So on one of the last nights, like my dad was, my dad and mom aren't very strict.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:They're awesome. I mean to a fault Like they don't like you ragging on people. They don't like you like racial anything. You know, but like one of the last nights, like my dad was, dad was like hey, you guys got to be in by 12 30 tonight. We're, you know, blah, blah, blah and it's like what the fuck? It's like yeah, I'd be in by 12 30, what do you? What do you have to do? That's after 12.
Speaker 2:I just explained it to me like it's like okay nothing good ever happens after 12, 30, yeah, so me and chris are down at the beach at like 10 and um. The cool thing is is that it was a resort, but there was eight of them, so we're in something called the Phoenix Resort, which I'm guessing, I think is in Gulf Shores, where you go, or, I'm sorry, myrtle Beach, where you go. Okay, the.
Speaker 2:Phoenix, right? Isn't that a chain down there? I don't know of the Phoenix, something like that, but I mean really cool like racquetball courts inside, like indoor hot tub, outdoor pool, right on the beach yeah so like all the kids would go down and party and it was fucking wild dude like. I saw some cool titties like I mean, it was just fun wow, those are real.
Speaker 2:So that night me and chris go down, we got our our snucking in booze, you know, like in water bottles in our suitcase. Like parents, if you're out there listening right now and you want to make sure your kids aren't drinking on a trep, make sure there's no fucking water bottles in their suitcase, because what kid brings water?
Speaker 1:it's booze dude. You just fucked everybody oh, they can eat it all the kids out there were like fuck you man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just fucking I don't know. Store some joints in your butthole.
Speaker 2:Some joints in your prison wall, start practicing being a drug mule if college doesn't work out. So we're getting fucked up. There's probably 30, 40 of us down by the beach just drinking, fucking, hanging out, just having a blast, and so what we did is we went up back to the room and it's probably I don't know 12.35,. A little bit late, but not like too late. So we get back and like, dude, my dad snores and so does my mom's, like I know they're both fucking gone. Like they're done, son, like you know, like that, like, yeah, like I could have done whatever I wanted during that time, right? So I look at Chris, I'm like dude, let's, let's sneak out for a little bit.
Speaker 2:And he's like are you sure? I was like no, but let's do it. So we went back down to the beach, dude, and had a blast. Like it's like telling a funny joke in church, like when you're not supposed to laugh, it's so much funnier.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:So we go back down to the beach and, dude, we're fucked up Like if I had to guess. Like dude, we're blowing like .15s right now, 0.18 you know, like we're fucking, we're hammered okay drinking hard liquor out of a water bottle, warm, awful, awful fucking move, yep, but it equals a great time. So I mean, we're hanging out girls, we're doing our fucking thing. I look at my phone, dude, and it's 2 45 in the morning, dude, like we didn't like kind of sneak out like we like said fuck you dude right, the best part is like we I remember we like made our bed with like pillows, like to make it and they like turn the fan
Speaker 2:on, like you know, so we go walking like you thought ahead of that shit we go walking up to the room and it's like it's like three o'clock in the morning, dude, and we get up to the room, we unlock the door and it was so loud, like the door, just like you know, like one of those kind of doors that, like you, can't leave it open, it's gonna hinge closed, and I mean straight out of a movie dude, like my dad's on the couch and he's just fucking grilling us like how's your night? How are you guys doing? The fuck is wrong with you yeah you're a fucking idiot.
Speaker 2:Yep, like I asked you for one thing, brought you on fucking vacation, and here you guys are coming in like a bunch of dumb asses reeking of rum. The fuck is wrong with you. Lost it as he should. Okay as he should, if this was me, I can't even imagine what I'd do right now. I'd be fucking livid oh yeah, right, like if this was lucy or like any of my people, like dude, no fucking yeah right.
Speaker 1:So like me and chris, you know that's gonna happen, though, right?
Speaker 2:oh, fuck, yeah, dude, I'm wild as shit, and my kids are gonna be wild as shit and I don't know. But like, so me and chris are sleeping with one eye open, dude, we're just like you know. Like, oh god, dude, he's gonna come back here and stab us like we. We did it.
Speaker 2:Now, you know, looks like we have two empty bucket seats for the way home, honey, you know, um, and the best part, about this whole thing is it's like nine in the morning looks like we have two empty bucket seats for the way home, honey, you know, um, and the best part about this whole thing is it's like nine in the morning and they wake us up Like my dad comes in the room and turns the light. I was like guys, breakfast is ready and like, my mom is so mad. Like you think my dad gets mad about shit. Like dude, my mom takes it to a new fucking level.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Where she thinks of all the for all we do for him. That motherfucker Yep, oh yeah, and she has every right to be. I am not in any way, shape or form saying they did anything wrong.
Speaker 1:I know, I fucking blew it. Yeah, yeah, you fucked up.
Speaker 2:Dude, they had breakfast and me and Chris sat there froze because we both thought that it was poisoned. Because we both thought that it was poisoned. We're hungover, we're fucking scared. We just slept with one eye open and they're fucking livid. And it's like this is not a good way to end a vacation, because we're leaving the next day yeah.
Speaker 2:So my dad's like you're staying in for a little bit today so we can figure out what the fuck to do with you, and it's just like, oh my god, dude. So, long story short, we had an absolute blast for a little while it's like dude.
Speaker 2:So that trip too. And it's funny too because my dad's gonna listen and I just don't care anymore. But, um, so the first night we were there we're in a hot tub and it's like me and my buddy jared and jacko and I think our friend rachel, someone else. We're just sitting in this hot tub like, and it's like me and my buddy jared and jacko and I think our friend rachel, someone else, we're just sitting in this hot tub like, and it's kind of funny too, because it's 85 degrees outside, sunny, and it's like there's a pool and, yeah, you know ocean, and we're like let's stay indoors. And hot tub. Yeah, well, the guys before us totally lost their bag of weed in the fucking hot tub.
Speaker 2:Oh, no shit, this is before we knew what weed was so we fucking took it back to our room, dude, like smelling like chlorine, like it got into the bag, like it's fucking terrible. We put it in the microwave like we had nothing to roll it with dude, because we were with our parents so like we got out a piece of like notebook paper oh, jesus it like, rolled that bitch up, went on the fucking and, dude, we got baked as balls. Whatever the fuck that was, thank you. The worst part was is he came back looking for it, so we're sitting in the hot tub and it's literally wrapped in my towel and he goes.
Speaker 2:Did you guys find a baggie anywhere? I was like what kind of bag? What are you talking about? Almost to the point that I asked too many questions. If he would have been any sort of salesperson or somebody that was in the know, he would have known I was full of shit. Now, were you stoned at?
Speaker 1:that time not yet so you were holding it together.
Speaker 2:So me, Jared and Jacko rolled it in computer paper as soon as it got dark and I think we played like uh, I think we played racquetball for a while after we were really high, just because we thought it'd be funny and it was I'm sure it was yeah, because what laughter echoes in there, you know like and that's what we really want.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh my god, and it just echoed, but it's just one of those stories where, like, I'll never forget that feeling of like sitting down at breakfast when someone's that mad at you that they're ready to give up on the fact that they're your parent. It's like the best breakfast ever too, and we didn't eat any of it because we were so afraid, and by then it's poisoned. Fast forward 45 minutes. Chris is packing his shit. He's already found someone else to take him home.
Speaker 1:He's fucking getting out of there, dude.
Speaker 2:So the worst part about all this is Chris was always there when shit went bad, yep, and my parents probably look back and think it's Chris, it was me.
Speaker 1:I was the bad influence on him, but you've been the common denominator all this time, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah, they probably.
Speaker 1:There's been other friends that they probably knew.
Speaker 2:yeah, oh yeah, they probably know parents know, dude, my dad's the coolest too. Like he was, he was he was a great father. Like just still is a great father. But like he was, he was a wonderful dad growing up, great example. So like when you pissed him off, like you fucking blew it right. Dude, we're farting in church. We're fucking telling jokes during Christian songs Like we were raunchy fucking kids. Yeah, raunchy as shit. Yep, if we could push the bar just a little bit.
Speaker 1:We did it. Oh yeah, you were going to Yep.
Speaker 2:So that's why, like these moments are so significant is because like they're like almost think of like a relationship with a grandparent, right, Like and, like you know, when you were cool with that grandparent, like why was it always cool with that grandparent? Well, it was always cool with that grandparent because they're not, like, trained to tell you to fuck off when you get you know, do that shit, they just pass you off to mom.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they give you back to mom and dad, my parents almost had that mentality where we had been through so much as a family and I'll get into that someday, but like true trauma, crazy shit.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That like us laughing and having like fun time was was almost. Almost like they wanted it yeah, almost like they they kind of endorsed it. So when you fucked up to the point that like he's turning a fucking lamp on at 3 am and like what's up, yeah where are you guys at yep? Did you guys have fun?
Speaker 1:I hope it was fucking worth it see, I always had the relationship with my kids. I always told them I know you're gonna do stupid shit, it's gonna happen inevitably. You're going to drink or you're going to try something. I said if you ever get behind the wheel and you're fucked up, you're dead if you get home.
Speaker 2:I know, I don't even know how that's a good rule. My parents always said that to me too. Like I would rather be pissed at you for drinking than having to go to your funeral.
Speaker 1:If they would have called me. And you know what it never really happened. I don't know if they ever got fucked up and were behind the wheel but I hope not, but if it ever happened and they called me, I wouldn't have been pissed, I would have been like thank you for calling. Yeah, we'll deal with this tomorrow. You know, I I knew that they were gonna do stupid shit I think, because every kid does.
Speaker 2:I think it's gonna be like when my kids grow up, I think in the next seven, eight years, when Lucy's growing up. I think it's going to be more vapes and pot that you're finding than it is going to be booze because times have changed. Yeah, that's true. That's true being a drunk isn't like a glorious thing anymore.
Speaker 1:I don't think it was ever a glorious thing.
Speaker 2:It was fun, yeah, but no one wants a drunk weatherman. I learned that Right?
Speaker 1:yeah, you learned that a few times, All right. So do you want to hear about the lawnmower rock launch? I do so. It's a quick story. I got in trouble for it and I'm not really sure why, Because it's not really my fucking fault, but I'm mowing the lawn, going along. I'm you know how old.
Speaker 1:Probably 14, I think at the time. Okay, yep, and my sister happened to be home from college and she parked along the side of the road. Okay, and I'm mowing the lawn. I'm mowing the lawn, boom, I hit this fucking rock and it launches that fucking rock into her side window and shatters it, Fucking. I mean, there is no glass left.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God, my dad comes out and he's so fucking pissed, I'm sure he's pissed because I broke the window or because it happened and I was just there there and it happened to me. But now he's got to pay, or my sister's got to pay to replace the window. I mean, at that point in time she was going to Western too. Was she pissed at you? Oh, I'm sure she was. I mean, what the fuck did I do? I'm mowing the fucking lawn.
Speaker 2:There's a rock in the yard. Guy who mows the lawn, guy who owns the property, who should we be mad at? Right, yeah, but you got to think about this too, like a weird angle for you, right, that I just thought of through this awesome podcast. Maybe parents get mad in those situations because they have a situation now on their plate that they have to solve. Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm sure that that's part of it.
Speaker 2:But I just didn't think like that growing up either, where there's an effect and a cause.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, but I mean, like I said, my sister was going to college. I'm sure money was tight at the time. That's probably me. I'm sure money was tight at the time, so I'm sure it was that, that it was like oh shit, we got to pay for this window now, which is why he was pissed, but he came out like full on yelling and yeah.
Speaker 2:Money was tighter than a Vietnamese hooker who used to be a nun on her first day. Who used to be a nun on her first day, so piggybacking off that real quick. I actually had something similar happen, but it was with we had a Middle Eastern family that lived in our backyard and I was mowing the yard and I used to chip golf balls all the time into targets. I always liked golf. It doesn't show like I get that, like it doesn't. You know, there's definitely no fruits of my labor, like I'm still bad at chipping, but um, it doesn't display out on the golf course that you've spent that much time practicing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it's just that I don't give a fuck right, like I'm naturally, like I'm naturally athletic, like I'll bet, if I tried really hard at golf, I I bet I'd fucking kill it. Why don't you try then? I don't fucking care. I know I'm going to do it like four times a year, dude. It's like Really Five maybe times a year, like I just I don't, does that make sense? Like, like when? I got into a rhythm when I got into a rhythm where the pin all the fucking time.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, if you practice all the time. You get good at it. But then I realized it's like walking on a treadmill without playing a sport and it's like what am I getting good at this for? To talk shit to my friends that aren't good either. Like okay this just doesn't seem like goals. You know to wave a fucking trophy from an outing that I won Like I still don't give a fuck right, yeah, but you win trophies when you don't even play golf.
Speaker 2:so yeah, all conference. I just got to live up to the name. Dude Right, Is it top five?
Speaker 1:time. I think it's top five time. Is it me or you? I'll go first. Hit it, I'll go first.
Speaker 2:Okay, so these are the top five reasons that you got a phone call from the office from the office not involving dookie.
Speaker 1:I'm sure that was an awful phone call for my mom.
Speaker 2:Oh my god, yeah hi, this is connie calling um.
Speaker 1:Your son is shit every what's what's up in shit. This is.
Speaker 2:Connie calling Okay.
Speaker 1:Number five your son or daughter forced another student to wear a ball gag.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, Was it the parent's ball gag?
Speaker 1:It was the parent's ball gag. When you go and confront your kids, you're like I was just trying to get them to shut up but I didn't realize that they would enjoy it.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, I just picture your two kids next to the girl wearing the ball gag and they're all trying to explain what happened. It's like we didn't mean to Dad. Seriously, we didn't mean to. Oh my God, we didn't realize that she would seriously we didn't mean to.
Speaker 1:Oh, we didn't realize that she would enjoy it. Oh my God, okay, number four Okay, they caught your son or daughter in another locker room. Yeah, that'd be bad.
Speaker 2:That would be so bad, dude. That would be like frightening bad, because it's like do we have another dommer on our hands? What do we do?
Speaker 1:Well, but nowadays you have to wonder if they're like. Are they thinking they're a different sex?
Speaker 2:I hope not. I hope not.
Speaker 1:Okay, oh my God, yeah, there's many different reasons that that would be a bad phone call.
Speaker 2:Yeah, all you'd need is a visitor badge that said he, her, him, how they, them, those, the, everything asterisk, everything you know just like no.
Speaker 1:The visitor badge would say the visitor badge would say hole or pole.
Speaker 2:Where's your visitor badge? Okay, number three.
Speaker 1:Three All their. So you get a phone call from the teacher and she says the call would say the call would say the call would say the teacher says you know, we're worried about your kid. We think that they have a learning disability. All their homework that they brought in was all wrong. It was all completely backwards. We think that they have a learning disability. Could you come in? And all this time you're thinking like I did their fucking homework.
Speaker 2:Wait, that's my handwriting. You fucking cock. Double check it. No, double check it. Show them how you did your work. I don't know, dan. Okay, here's what we did. Right, oh, dan? Okay, here's what we did Right.
Speaker 1:Oh shit, Number two. So this actually happened at my school. Somebody had put a fart bomb in a school vent system.
Speaker 2:And that actually happened in my school. What is a fart bomb?
Speaker 1:if you don't mind. It's like the can of fart spray.
Speaker 2:So it's like deer piss.
Speaker 1:But no, no, no, no, it's an actual aerosol you can spray.
Speaker 2:Was this a thing? Yeah, where the fuck would you buy that?
Speaker 1:Probably Spencer's at the mall that's probably where they got it Like a big can of it. I don't know how big the can was, but yeah, they had to evacuate the school because it stunk everything. Oh my God, it was bad. It was bad.
Speaker 2:So would they have to spray it at it?
Speaker 1:I don't know if they would have had to spray it at it or if they took something to hold it down. I don't know, but it was bad, it was horrible.
Speaker 2:You know what would have been even cooler, though, if they would have figured out how to hotbox the whole school. They filled the whole school With weeds. Oh Jesus, can you imagine? Hotbox the whole school?
Speaker 1:That would have been a great day, Dude I'd call down to the cafeteria.
Speaker 2:All subtle and I'd be like, hey, what's up You're going to get a run on the cafeteria.
Speaker 1:All subtle and I'd be like, hey, what's up?
Speaker 2:um, just you're gonna get a run on the cafeteria whatever the normal size is for today, I would double it. I'm like what's going?
Speaker 1:on, just just devil it, trust me, yep, yep, oh shit, all the you guys can if you guys have anything that's about to expire, just throw it on a pizza.
Speaker 2:you call it whatever the fuck you want Everybody's going to want it.
Speaker 1:Yep, yep.
Speaker 2:Oh shit, fart bomb dude. They evacuated school.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, they evacuated the whole school because of this.
Speaker 2:So if the kid got in trouble, would it be a bomb threat?
Speaker 1:I don't know, I don't know what they classified that at.
Speaker 2:We'll call TSA and ask them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there you go, okay.
Speaker 2:And my number one Wait, I want to say, you just did three.
Speaker 1:I did two. Two was they put a fart bomb in the school, oh yep.
Speaker 2:Stay with me, stay with the program, motherfucker.
Speaker 1:Number one, un. My son took his cat to school this morning Got a call from the school. Said he took it to school because he heard me say to his mom that I was going to eat that pussy after he left and we have a number one for next episode.
Speaker 2:Folks dude, can you imagine that? Oh, it'd be so hard not to laugh oh yeah, dude, I'd lose it, oh my god or the shit, dude, like I'd have to like. This is connie calling. We got ourselves a rolling brown out going on here I was just wondering if you're by a kmart, jc, penny or kohl's, because we're gonna need some bradley. What size pants are you? We're gonna need some pants down here, stat you know, like one of those. All right, you ready for my top five, my friend?
Speaker 1:I'm ready. I'm ready.
Speaker 2:So top five of the reason off is called. I'm going to take a little bit of a different approach. I'm going to use Jan's voice, or Barb, you know, when she's calling. Ah geez, Hi, this is Connie calling about Tucker. It seems as though he's created a I don't even know what this means but a black market butt-chugging club. Please call us back. This has gotten out of fucking hand Butt-chugging. Kids do that these days. How weird is that, dude? Once kids invent a way to do butt dupes, dude that's when it'll take over dude, you want a bog hit man like zip.
Speaker 2:You know, fuck, yeah, I do. Number four number four yeah, hi, this is sharon calling. It seems as though we caught tucker selling homemade whacking off tapes in the cafeteria. I wasn't't able to watch it, but I just wanted to go through real quick and read off the chapters to you and see what you think about this. Chapter one is called Shower Jerk. Chapter two is called Pocket Pussy, paula. Chapter three is Jerking in Public. I don't know what he means by that. Number four is jerking on a plane. I don't know why someone would make footage of that. And number five is called jacking and stacking Jacking and stacking.
Speaker 2:This is absolutely unacceptable. Please give us a call at your earliest convenience. We won't make Tucker come in. It seems as though he's done enough coming for one day. Just all his moves In hindsight, dude, he should have had something with like a dartboard, like where he's aiming the shot. You know the bullseye bandit they called him dude Every fucking time number three, three hi, yeah, uh, this is sharon calling again. It seems as though your son sent out fake permission slips for anatomy class to Deja Vu.
Speaker 2:It does put bring singles on the side of sleep and sent these out to all the students for a field trip and it's actually been accepting money. He'll only accept singles and only ones covered in glitter will be accepted. Please give us a call back at your earliest convenience. Oh shit something. Please give us a call back at your earliest convenience. Number two hi, yeah, this is sharon calling again. Um, it's in relation to your son, tucker. So apparently tucker asked miss jacobs if she swallows while she was eating some cake in Home Ec. This is absolutely unacceptable. I mean, of course she swallows, but not in the way that a teenage boy wants her to. Please give me a call back. Oh shit, thank you.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:That'd be a good one.
Speaker 1:That sounds like me, that sounds like something you would ask.
Speaker 2:Do you swallow yeah? Hey girl something you would ask Do you swallow? Yeah, hey, girl.
Speaker 1:Hey girl.
Speaker 2:Number one Hi, yeah, this is Sharon calling for a last time. I'm just getting fucking sick of this, sharon calling for a last time. I'm just getting fucking sick of this. It seems as though Tucker, during sex ed, raised his hand and asked Mrs Jacobs, who also teaches that poor girl Home Ec and fucking sex. Ed asked if she could help the whole class with a proper pull-out technique.
Speaker 1:It seems as though.
Speaker 2:Tucker would like a little instruction. He said usually in porn they pull out and do Casper the ghost. I'm not sure what Casper the ghost means, but I think it's sticky and gross. And the whole class started laughing and it's just become a fucking thing. Come get your child. Tucker's pullout game is strong. Dude Tucker pulls out. Dude couches pull out, but Tucker never does. Trucks pull out, but Tucker never does.
Speaker 1:Oh shit, oh man, that was a good top five. I liked it. That was good. That was good.
Speaker 2:Oh, dude Well hey.
Speaker 1:So everybody out there, we need to know what your favorites are. Give us some comments dude jason commented.
Speaker 2:We got to check that he did on on spotify. Do you know what it says?
Speaker 1:no, I didn't see that. I did not see any comments find it yeah, look for it. So yeah, if you got any comments out there, you want to get a hold of us? It's rowdandloudy at gmailcom.
Speaker 2:that's r-o-w-d, a-n-d, l-o-u-d-y at gmailcom thank you guys so much for joining us. We had an absolute fucking blast. And thank you, guys so much for joining us. Um, we, we had an absolute fucking blast. And uh, spoiler alert for you while you're listening to this one, there's another one coming oh yeah, and it's not tuck it's not tucking.
Speaker 2:We're not gonna pull out it's actually funny too, because mel tucker for michigan state did you hear we got? He got in trouble for no firing a wrister off on the phone with a girl that wasn't oh, michigan state, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So the thing I don't know.
Speaker 2:The thing everyone would say is tuck coming. So it's funny that I told a bunch of jizz jokes about a guy named tucker. Right, because it fucking fits his sponsors need to be kleenex, dude, vaseline, vaseline and kleenex.
Speaker 2:And he needs to host press conferences with the hat on like he's a NASCAR fucking driver. It cleans up any sort of mess. Let me tell you about dude wipes. Okay, now, I don't know what's in there. It's a solvent or a cream, but it sure takes the jizz out of a keyboard. Let me show you how. And then he draws it up like plays for, like football, like with x's and o's dude, this is your keyboard. X that you came on. Oh, and this is your dude web. You're gonna go right up the gut gotta go right over the r.
Speaker 2:Gotta get the r you know um something that I think that. Uh, so a little double spoiler alert. We already recorded this. We had to redo it, which is fucking great, yeah yeah, you know what, though we're good though we're good, but one of the things that I really enjoyed that we talked about last time is that, like this, has become a really cool outlet for us oh yeah and that we really just that's all we're trying to do.
Speaker 1:We're trying to have fun.
Speaker 2:We don't care about the fame. We don't care about like getting big, we don't care like it's okay.
Speaker 2:But if we do great, you know our main thing is trying to help our listener laugh their fucking ass off when they have a moment right, like if you have that, like okay, if you're a girl, say you have that boyfriend, that sucks right. And like every time you go see fucking chad, you know chadwick, you know you leave there fucking pissed and you're like I just don't think it's gonna work, it's not okay. But what you need to do is just turn on our fucking podcast.
Speaker 2:All right, even our titty and dick jokes are gonna make you laugh right and if you're a dude and like say your wife's not putting out for like a month and she's just driving you, fucking nuts, come hang out with us for a little bit, right? Hell yeah, dude, we'll help heart the Red Sea like Moses, alright.
Speaker 1:Oh, my god, oh fuck.
Speaker 2:And I'm going to leave you guys with a joke. So what do you call a lesbian with fat fingers? Brad? Well hung Well, hung Well, hung. All right, thank you, we'll catch you all on the next episode. Oh my God, Thanks for hanging out with us.
Speaker 1:Okay, see you all later. Peace, peace, peace.
