Rowd & Loudy Comedy Podcast
Welcome to Rowd and Loudy, the podcast where two blue-collar best friends from Michigan take you on a wild ride through life’s highs and lows. Whether we’re swapping stories from the jobsite, sharing laughs over backyard beers, or diving deep into the struggles and triumphs of everyday life, we keep it real, raw, and relatable. Expect a mix of humor, heart, and hard truths as we navigate the chaos of work, family, and friendship—all with a Midwest twist. Tune in and join the crew for a weekly dose of unfiltered conversation, a little rowdiness, and a lot of laughs!
Every episode features funny stories, funny moments and a top 5. The top 5 is unique because we do not share our top 5's with each other until we are live on the air.
The catch neither Brad nor Eric knows what the other person is going to say, the shock value is incredible. This is a comedy podcast about all the fun stuff in life.
Every episode features funny stories and a top 5.
Join Eric and Brad on a Rowd and Loudy Journey today!
Rowd & Loudy Comedy Podcast
Episode 16 - Unleashed at Bart Bauer Bash
Recorded in the midst of an annual guys' weekend getaway, this raw, unfiltered episode captures the authentic essence of male friendship in all its inappropriate glory. Broadcasting live from the Bart Bauer Bash - a tradition that brings together a group of longtime friends for four days of escapism - hosts Eric and Brad welcome guest Ryan to share in their drunken, high-spirited podcast session.
The Bart Bauer Bash represents more than just a vacation; it's a sacred ritual where responsibilities are shed and genuine connections are reinforced through shared experiences, from competitive golf outings to late-night poker games. Throughout this episode, the unscripted conversations reveal both hilarious mishaps and surprisingly vulnerable confessions that wouldn't normally make it to air.
A middle school teacher's mortifying bathroom emergency, the petty politics of group breakfast times, and the chaotic rush to secure tee times all become fodder for authentic discussion and genuine laughter. The guys don't hold back as they debate the merits of being early risers versus night owls, share stories of childhood embarrassments, and even rank increasingly inappropriate food items in a list that would make parents reach for the volume control.
What makes this episode special is how it captures friendship in its natural habitat - sometimes crude, occasionally profound, but always genuine. For listeners who've ever wondered what happens when the filter comes off and friends let loose away from public scrutiny, this episode offers a voyeuristic glimpse into male bonding that feels both shocking and strangely familiar. Join us for this special Bart Bauer Bash broadcast and hear what happens when friends get together with nothing but time, booze, and stories to share.
ROWD and LOUDY is the ultimate comedy podcast where two best friends share hilarious, never-before-heard stories in every episode! Tune in for laughs, surprises, and spontaneous humor as each episode features fresh, funny tales that one of the hosts has never heard before. Plus, every episode includes a Top 5 list where we rank and discuss random topics, adding even more fun to the mix. Whether you’re into storytelling, comedy, or just want to hear two friends banter about life, ROWD and LOUDY has you covered.
Listen now for your weekly dose of laughter, entertainment, and raw, unfiltered humor.
Comedy, Funny Stories, Humor Podcast, Best Friend Podcast, Hilarious Podcast, Top 5 Podcast, Hilarious Podcast, Storytelling Podcast, Weekly Comedy Show, Laugh out Loud Podcast, Unfiltered Humor.
Welcome to the Routin' Loudy Podcast. This is episode 16. Whoa, and we're going to do a short half-hour episode that we are live from the Bart Bauer Bash.
Speaker 3:Hey-o.
Speaker 1:And I'll let Eric kind of explain what that is for everybody.
Speaker 3:Well hey, everybody it's me, eric, and what the Bart Bauer Bash is is. It's a dude's trip where we get really drunk and really high and we play games, and there's usually 12 or 13 of us and a couple people can't make it every year. It's just kind of what happens.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 3:But we had a couple bachelor parties in the same year. Actually, our guest Ryan was at one of the said bachelor parties. That created this monster and yeah, we just get to a house. We stay Thursday, friday, Saturday, sunday. Monster and um, yeah, we just get to get to a house.
Speaker 1:we stay thursday, friday, saturday sunday well, saturday, and we leave sunday get breakfast. I like breakfast, breakfast is good and we just yeah it gets super big.
Speaker 3:There's a bunch of dudes in a jacuzzi right now.
Speaker 2:It sounds really weird when you say that I'm looking for it. Yeah, you know you get in there.
Speaker 3:So there's just not any estrogen here, and I think that's a rule. Yeah, so we got.
Speaker 1:Ryan as our guest tonight and he's going to kind of just go over the thing that he's done.
Speaker 3:He's going to help guide the ship. Yeah yeah, he's got the rudder you know, he's got the rudder. Yeah. So what happened this morning, man? Everyone freaked out about golf Like it was just like ah, Ah, we got to. We were in a rush to get nowhere and even I didn't know Like, and it was like it's Friday, People are working. That's why the course isn't busy, right, you know yeah, so yeah, we all came up Thursday, or Ryan came up today, yep.
Speaker 1:Well, thursday we had some hot dogs.
Speaker 2:Some glizzies, we did, we sucked glizzies. Oh man, I missed on the glizzies Dude, you did.
Speaker 3:And it's okay. You know what I ate. One for you. I had four. I know I did.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to lie when I went up to go use the restroom, I ate probably a few cold glizzies.
Speaker 3:Dude, cold glizzies, dude, Still good. Cold glizzes could be your rap name. I feel like it's better than hot Dude.
Speaker 2:hot and readies are not $5 in the bar, no, back in the day, hot and ready.
Speaker 3:They used to be so good 10 for 10, hot and ready burgers. I know, hot and ready burgers, you can't beat that. What's that? Oh, hot and now.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, hot and now.
Speaker 3:Hot. And now, oh yeah, hot now so I live.
Speaker 1:I grew up in sturgis, right. Yep, that's the last one alive still the last one.
Speaker 3:Yeah, hot now still in sturgis. What's the last thing that's still alive like of something else you know well?
Speaker 1:I don't know, like a blockbuster.
Speaker 3:There's still one up in alaska, really one yeah, we just did a whole episode on porn hub. Do you know Alaskans like to watch themselves Fuck dolls.
Speaker 1:As sex dolls.
Speaker 2:Hold on. I still got a quick short story Because I'm a middle school Teacher.
Speaker 3:Oh god.
Speaker 1:That's gonna be great.
Speaker 2:Today was our last day of school. It was our half day of school Half day. Well, the last two days of school are a half day, which I mean you might as well just send them home right, yeah at this point.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because they're they're already checked out, they're herding cats, they're playing kickball the whole week it's like there's like herding cats around here.
Speaker 2:Get them out of here yeah seriously, but this kid two weeks ago he comes up to the dean of students. He's like I got to talk to you about this. He's like this kid showed me this video at lunch from PH and this guy's like 62. He's like PH Pornhub dude and I'm sitting in there and I'm like trying to mouth it to him like Pornhub trying to mouth it to him like and he's still like that, always a girl just getting it.
Speaker 2:What is that? Oh no, and he's just like what do you mean? Like, can you explain this to me? He went in like in depth about, like what the video was and I'm like the sixth grade kid well, just going into it, I don't know.
Speaker 3:He started telling her some compliments I don't know something down there got hurt she kept putting in her mouth I don't really know what's going on?
Speaker 2:it was rough and nasty. I'm sitting in there like I'm gonna go back to my planning period, like I don't know why I stopped in here, about right yeah, she's getting hit by a trapper keeper while he's doing it.
Speaker 1:I don't know why trapper, keeper man I've been it.
Speaker 3:I don't know why Trapper keeper man Don't have it better around in a while.
Speaker 2:Do kids still use trapper keepers? No, they've only got Chromebooks now.
Speaker 1:Those are stored in the sections of the store. It's in the cloud now.
Speaker 3:Those are stored in the section of the store by the Creed CDs. Dick me high Dude, oh my god. But yeah, we. Uh, what did we do last night? We just got really high.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we got high. We, uh, we played poker.
Speaker 3:Yeah, played poker, I won that dude, I didn't win a single game of bags last night today four in a row, four and oh we're four.
Speaker 1:No, we're like the buffalo bills, but we did it because they went to the super bowl four times and lost. We did what they should have done.
Speaker 3:We did this for buffalo you know what I mean we did it for the bills man but, yeah, we got. How many people we got this year?
Speaker 1:10 uh 10, 10 right now yep, no, no 11 with your brother Yep.
Speaker 3:That's so cool yeah. So, kids are watching Pornhub. Are their kids wearing?
Speaker 2:tails. Okay, can I just clarify that they're not watching Pornhub on their Chromebooks.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you can clarify.
Speaker 2:I just want to let you know, so, everyone knows in school they are not watching Pornhub on their Chromebook.
Speaker 3:It's on his phone. That's a good clarification. It's on his personal device. Does he have a chubby? Huh, never mind, don't answer that, but did he?
Speaker 2:I don't even know what you just said, something about a chubby, it's fine. Just don't worry about it. A chubby is yeah he does too.
Speaker 1:They don't call him.
Speaker 3:He figured it out. Why is she getting peed on no?
Speaker 2:That's not what was described, but I'm sure.
Speaker 3:What the video is called Oatmeal cream pie, and I don't know what the oatmeal is.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's a good beer Really.
Speaker 3:Is that a thing? Is there something called oatmeal cream pie? Yeah, there's some brewery. Really, is that a thing? Is there something called oatmeal cream pie?
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's some brewery, that's called that. There's some brewery on the west coast of Michigan that makes a beer called oatmeal cream pie. It does literally taste like an oatmeal cream pie.
Speaker 1:No shit, but in the context, of what you just said highly nuts.
Speaker 3:If you like to dump more loads, that's the brewery. If you like to dump more loads. That's the brewery, If you like to dump more loads than a Samsung dryer.
Speaker 1:That's the place, oh my.
Speaker 3:God.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God dude.
Speaker 3:Dude and Danny B, the godfather, himself the godfather, and he's going to let everybody know that he's on the next one.
Speaker 2:Yep, he's coming up, he's not. Yeah, I'll be there tomorrow, but he's going to let everybody know that he's on the next one. Yep, he's coming up, he's not. Yeah, I'll be there tomorrow, but he's down for foreplay tonight, that's it. Oh yeah, foreplay, he's just kissing necks and writing checks.
Speaker 3:dude Kissing necks and writing checks. But so what all did we do last night? Last night we played bags.
Speaker 1:We played poker. You got really fucked up and we were going to do the show last night and you were just too out of it.
Speaker 3:Oh, dude, we got to talk about the drive real quick though.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, okay so we're on the drive up here.
Speaker 2:dude, yeah, you didn't hear this story. There's a two-piece story, right? So I'm fucked up. Dude, that's a two piece story, right so?
Speaker 3:I'm fucked up, dude. We smoked at Danny's and I Picked a real strong one for that. I didn't tell anybody, but we did. And um, we got so fucked up. We went to a pizza buffet and after we left the pizza buffet.
Speaker 1:Dude, like no, we went to Pompeys. It was Pompeys and Reed City Okay.
Speaker 3:What if Reed City was illiterate?
Speaker 2:Well, I feel like they might be.
Speaker 3:Their library was gone.
Speaker 1:Anyway.
Speaker 3:Their library was gone.
Speaker 1:So continue.
Speaker 3:So after we left there, I'm with Jason and the highway splits to two lanes and I thought it was one lane coming this way, one lane going, you know, the opposite way, Because he popped out into the left lane and I took my glasses off, kind of like I am right now because I'm fucked up.
Speaker 2:Your glasses are still on.
Speaker 1:Well they're not these ones, oh, okay, but these help.
Speaker 3:These help.
Speaker 2:These are so cool. You know, 1230 at night, Dude I'm.
Speaker 3:Helen Keller blind with these off you know, and dude.
Speaker 3:I look over and I see a Jeep. It looks like it's coming at us. It's not. And I look at Jason. I'm like we're not going to fucking make this, we're not going to fucking do it. Hey bro, bro, get over, get over, get over, get over. All right, I get that you have twin turbos in your explorer, but we got to get the fuck over, all right. And then I realized that we're both going the same way. Jason was telling this story. He's like swap, it's like what?
Speaker 1:the fuck is going. What the hell's? Wrong with you.
Speaker 3:He's like oh, they're going the same direction and then and then, uh, when we, when we got here, how do you?
Speaker 2:not tell the difference between like headlight and rear.
Speaker 3:It was during the day, I mean, it was like line, though, and I can tell the difference between headlights.
Speaker 2:Dude, did you go to?
Speaker 3:the? Did you go to the marches and stuff and tell people that I'm colorblind? Literally me too don't judge me.
Speaker 2:No, I mean I'm not because I know your lives matter.
Speaker 3:You know what I mean. Like you went there and you said that I heard you Not like in a room.
Speaker 2:What?
Speaker 3:just happened.
Speaker 1:I don't know.
Speaker 3:Anyway. So the other funny part of the story is we get back to the house and I'm fucking, I'm gone and Brad looks at me and I'm like dude, I hit my wall and he's like what do you mean? What happened? I was like I don't know, I just took some adderall and smoked a bunch of weed and like drank and then smoked a lot more weed and I just kind of hit a wall.
Speaker 2:I said this to him and he started dying.
Speaker 3:I'm like that's not bad, that's you I hit my wall dude, I got all dizzy and shit and he's like what happened?
Speaker 1:I was like I don't know I was like what the fuck's wrong with you? I?
Speaker 3:think that's from waking up eating. Adderall smoking a bunch of weed, drinking energy drinks and then smoking more weed.
Speaker 1:You know, Like I just I almost fucking died. Dude Needed a shower to put out that fire. You know, Success, Success.
Speaker 3:Remaining.
Speaker 1:Dude, I laughed my ass off.
Speaker 2:Oh my God.
Speaker 1:Oh shit.
Speaker 3:What's also funny about this right now is that every single buddy that was, every single person that was up this morning and screaming about golf.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's not here right now.
Speaker 3:It has not been here for two hours. It's Cushman, it's Matt. Why were they screaming about golf? They were trying to freak out about it and I was all Dutch. I was like I got a deal, I can get us on for 30 bucks. So I just said fuck it and bucked it. You know.
Speaker 1:Yep, yeah.
Speaker 3:So we all got on for $30.
Speaker 1:The rest of the guys paid like $65.
Speaker 3:For $18 in the cart. Eat a dick. That's what I said to that group.
Speaker 2:I'm lucky to complete nine. For that much.
Speaker 3:This is why you wake up, Eric. You know what I'm saying. I'm taking time, but wake me up.
Speaker 2:You're my boy.
Speaker 3:You're my boy.
Speaker 2:Blue. I got my clubs in the back of my car. We're going tomorrow. I got the clubs in the back of my car.
Speaker 3:And I don't golf. I got clubs in the back of my car and I don't golf. Wouldn't that be creepy. And you're securing the deals.
Speaker 1:Dude.
Speaker 3:I had some really nice shots Today on the golf course. That's what I found crazy, dude. I woke up and like all the food was gone. It was like 8 in the morning. All the food that I brought was already made. I woke up at like 10. It was all fucking. All the food you brought was gone it was fucked, though it was like.
Speaker 1:It would be like going to a party when you were 22.
Speaker 3:And all that's left is like 600 pound fucking checks and it's like you can have whatever one you want. I'm good you know or like darlene, she's like drinking pop out of a fucking bowl on the floor you know, it's like you can have darlene looks like today, I'm gonna fast.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm gonna but, but what I'm, but what I'm getting at, is all those people that are like I'm an early riser. It's like you didn't make it past 8. I don't mean to be this person, but like you're a bitch, you know, like you wanted to go early and woo, we did it but at the same time yeah, just like, just stop. You know Brad's still up. What's your excuse? Yeah, and he ate biscuits when they were fresh.
Speaker 1:I did. Yeah, they were good too. They were made by my wife. Thanks for bringing those man. Hey, fuck you, dude, I didn't even get them. I didn't get them, dude. I brought pussy to the party and didn't even get a sniff dude.
Speaker 2:You didn't get any, didn't even get a sniff, cause you're sleeping Until 930.
Speaker 3:I, because you're sleeping in until 9.30. I know what is it. The biscuits were like. At that point the biscuits were like hockey pucks, but all those people that were bitching about that are all asleep, and they've been asleep since like 8. So, what do you want to be? The kid that wakes up at 5 or the kid that goes to bed at 8? Either way, you're a bitch. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:That's true.
Speaker 3:Either way you suck.
Speaker 1:Either way you suck.
Speaker 3:But I like them, but just stop it.
Speaker 2:It depends on if you're a night owl and you're going out to party, or if you're getting up early and you're going to be the one that starts the day off drinking at 8 am.
Speaker 3:Early bird doesn't get the worm, because I already bought the worm and I got a fast pass at 9 am. Go fuck yourself.
Speaker 2:That's what I said.
Speaker 1:You didn't get the worm, though. Your worm's in the bottle of tequila. Oh, that's where your worm is at we're like.
Speaker 2:What tequila is that that has, like the worm I've?
Speaker 1:I don't know I don't know either is that only in mexico?
Speaker 3:it's got to be a mexican thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's illegal here, so I don't know if you can get with a worm in this state Dude and everybody's mad about the whole immigrant thing.
Speaker 3:But dude, I'm pretty pumped about it. I haven't done my yard in weeks, oh my god, just kidding. But like, you know what I'm saying. It's been a while.
Speaker 2:It's been a while. I'm a teacher so I have to do my own yard work.
Speaker 3:Hell yeah, are there furries there? Are there furries there? Huh, are there furries?
Speaker 1:there no so is what's the wildest thing? Yeah, what's the weirdest thing that you've run into?
Speaker 3:like, did a girl like queef on a kid or something that'd be cool, the weirdest thing. No, I mean did someone shit their pants like Brad fuck you, wait dude, wait like brad. I wanna hear this dude. He posted up like a gargoyle and just shit all over so when I was in my I was in second grade like a gargoyle.
Speaker 1:Oh, it wasn't even recent, I thought it was gonna be like yeah, I don't know, this was second grade last week or something.
Speaker 3:You should just listen to the podcast, okay, yeah second grade.
Speaker 1:I'm to tune back oh yeah, I don't know what episode this is, but yeah, second grade, we had to raise our hand and go to the bathroom, right? So, I'm in the corner raising my hand and I fucking shit my pants. It was fucking all over.
Speaker 2:I didn't know that.
Speaker 1:But I go to the bathroom, I come back and it's like kids are staring at me and shit, and I've got shit all over the back of my shirt. It and it's like kids are staring at me and shit, and I've got shit.
Speaker 3:all over the back of my shirt. It's all over the chair, it's yeah, and he didn't get made fun of.
Speaker 3:Isn't that crazy? Yeah, I told him on the show that I'd be a great friend. I would have gone up right behind him when they're all like you're gross and I would have shit right on the floor Like you, look at that, look at that. Going up right on the carpet as a teacher. I would have been like yep, yep, I applaud you. I would have gotten one of those flags from those pizza boxes, dude, throwing it right in the turn. I would have given you my turn, dude tom cruise tap gun.
Speaker 1:Sign like yep, you go yeah you go to the bathroom, yeah, just that hard, salute like I bet she changed her policy after that because we had to wait, yeah, like fucking in the corner, like, hey, I got to go, yeah, and it wasn't just, oh, go ahead.
Speaker 3:But I bet she changed her policy after that. I think full transparency. I'm pretty sure I shit my pants one time in 10th grade but I never told anybody. Like it was one of those times, like after football, where like we went to like we went to Fazoli's and then like I think I remember like being at school and being like, oh man, you know yeah. I just don't know if it's true.
Speaker 2:So I've got a story as a teacher that I've never even I don't know. I think I told my wife.
Speaker 3:Is it permanent? No, it's not. Ph.
Speaker 2:No, it's not PH. It's not ph. Hey, girl, you want the? You want to watch that ph? I'll bring the. It was just one of those mornings where I woke up late and like I pounded two cups of coffee before I went in and I got to school and I'm like is that what you call your wife huh?
Speaker 3:two cups of coffee this morning.
Speaker 1:I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2:I woke up early and I chopped the coffee, pound her twice and I went in.
Speaker 1:She wanted cream.
Speaker 2:I gave it to her Extra cream Froppy no.
Speaker 3:That's weird, I'm sorry, she wanted cream and two pumps of double cold foam I didn't know how to give it to her.
Speaker 2:I didn't. That was the hardest part, it was karma. Yeah, no, no. But I went in and like we've got this, a vending machine in the teacher's lounge, and I got huh, it's a pop or food, uh, it's just like drinks.
Speaker 2:Um, and when I got there, like before, like I put on two cups of coffee before I got there and I got to school and I'm like, oh gosh, I'm so fucking tired and so like I went in there and I got like this like black rifle coffee and just yeah, just shot it down and it's like first period goes by and my stomach's gurgling. I'm like, oh jeez, I'm just like moving around like second period.
Speaker 2:it comes by like oh, he's a little gassy, I just like try to squeak one Like a fart in church. I turned to you, I lean into one side, I'm just like, oh shit, literally, oh shit, you do.
Speaker 1:I call the principal.
Speaker 3:I'm just like dude.
Speaker 2:Hey, I'm feeling sick. I got to go home. I just pulled my coke down.
Speaker 1:That's when you get to speak to my car.
Speaker 2:I literally shit my pants in the second period.
Speaker 1:I was gone before 9 am.
Speaker 3:I was gone. Dude, you don't even know what to do. I just told him, like dude, no, there's like my kids' daycare.
Speaker 2:They've got some food going around Like I think it got me.
Speaker 1:I've let you all down. I'm sorry, all right, no, like even my kids walking up like I miss you.
Speaker 2:You, yeah, all right. No, like even my kids walk in. I'm like I miss you. You're like sweating, are you feeling? Okay, I'm like just leave me alone, go away.
Speaker 3:Go away, like, leave me alone, oh my God, I feel like I'm going to have to beep that, yeah, but hey.
Speaker 1:Oh, so yeah, I'll beep it out.
Speaker 3:Okay, I'll beep it out, and then you shit your pants.
Speaker 1:That sounds like my fifth album hey mister you smell. What did you shape the turd into? Huh, you're shaping America's kids.
Speaker 3:What do you do after that?
Speaker 2:No, I threw that computer chair away.
Speaker 3:I would Dude.
Speaker 2:Dude, dude.
Speaker 1:It was in the dumpster.
Speaker 2:It was in the dumpster, the next day I brought a new one from home. Oh my God, I didn't even tell my wife, and she's like hey, where'd her computer go?
Speaker 3:I'm like all right, Dude, I don't know, you know how I told you about that thing at school. Well yeah, I came home and I thought about it real hard and I sat in that chair and then I realized, realized, fuck that chair.
Speaker 2:No, but the thing is, I never told her about it.
Speaker 3:Oh, no shit, oh, she'll know.
Speaker 2:If I tell her about this podcast, she'll know.
Speaker 1:What does that mean? What are you? Are you vaping, yeah?
Speaker 3:It's for the kids, all right, just wanted to make sure.
Speaker 2:That's my motto.
Speaker 3:Dude, yeah, shitting your pants is just normal and you know what, if someone would have caught you in that moment? I'm fucked up right now to the point that I think I would have helped you like I would have helped Brad. I would have just gotten down like a gargoyle dude and I would have said I would have shit right there.
Speaker 3:And I would have looked at that little kid and I would have said look at me Next time you do, duke you think of this, and then I just would have walked away and said nothing else.
Speaker 2:But the thing is I teach sixth graders. They don't understand. They're tough, oh yeah.
Speaker 3:What do you do after that? Like, you can't take a nap, you can't eat Taco Bell, because then you're afraid more is coming. You can't, you know, like.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, Well, the only thing I did was I went home.
Speaker 3:Did you like rub one out and then just kind of take a nap Like?
Speaker 2:I don't know what to do?
Speaker 1:You know, like do I Rub one out, take a nap what?
Speaker 3:are you talking about. But you left for the day, right you shit? And then left for the day. Oh, yeah, right, during that free time.
Speaker 2:Oh, I drank beers on the patio at home. I'm like, oh fuck.
Speaker 3:Oh, that makes sense. I probably would have rubbed one out and thought about thoughts while I stared at the ceiling dude.
Speaker 2:I shit today in front of In my mind I'mitting on it, dude, I only get like eight of them.
Speaker 1:Man that's such a good story, dude, I got a funny story for you.
Speaker 3:My mom worked in pediatrics Similar but not the same with, like second graders.
Speaker 2:So they were doing shots one day, Wait who.
Speaker 3:My mom worked in pediatrics, so so it's a full waiting room and this kid, this kid oh, those shots like in, yeah, yeah, like back in the day when everyone used to show up shots in the doctor's office, like like, like back in like the day, you know, when people used to show up for shit like that.
Speaker 3:Like they used to show up for, like, k martin, the blue light Specials those same people, anyway, full waiting room. This little kid goes into the room and he sees that the doctor's giving him shots so the parents aren't telling all the kids. He looks at the doctor and says oh hell, no, goes sprinting out the door into the waiting room. Goes, run for your lives. They're giving shots in here. Can you imagine All these kids went running? Oh, no shit.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, I never had a problem with shots when I was a kid.
Speaker 3:Just, shits Just shits.
Speaker 2:Hey me too, man. Even now, shots fired, Okay, shots fired While we're on the topic Shits fired, shits fired even now shots fired. Okay, shots fired. While we're on the topic shit's fired, shit's fired, shit's fired. While we're on the topic, um, Dollar General was fun.
Speaker 3:I really thought those bee sweaters would be cooler. Yeah. Oh yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:But they're not oh they're not.
Speaker 1:I mean, they are there's just not enough of them.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, I'm not trying to kill bees everybody, so we went and played golf today. Yeah, I was over it.
Speaker 1:What did you guys end up shooting Loads.
Speaker 2:Loads of shots.
Speaker 3:Loads of freedom dude oh dude.
Speaker 1:Loads of shots, loads of freedom. Dude oh dude. So you were.
Speaker 3:you were in a cushman fell in the fucking pond. Oh dude, he slid right in we're so fell in the pond matt.
Speaker 1:Matt is there explains a lot like when I showed up at 6 30, it all makes sense just buzzed oh yeah, so matt is walking towards the pond right I'm so fucked I'm going to bed at 7.
Speaker 2:And was that the guy that, like when I walked in and I said hey, I'm Ryan, and he just said hey.
Speaker 1:I'm drunk. Yeah, that's Matt.
Speaker 2:I have milk? No, he just said I am drunk. No, like I walked in, I'm like, hey, I'm Ryan. He's like, hey, I'm drunk.
Speaker 3:Like, really like, hey, I'm drunk, like really drunk oh yeah, nice to meet you.
Speaker 2:They were hammered at like, oh yeah, dave tried to like convince me, like hey, he was the original ronald mcdonald, like for the first 20 minutes I'm like he's got big feet. It makes sense, man.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, matt and I'm like, yeah, he's ronald mcdonald, I bought it. Yeah, you didn't know that no way yeah, you're fucking I dude
Speaker 2:I saw a picture you're the real one, yeah stop, because for like five seconds, the real one I just like it like lapsed and like okay, maybe he is yeah, but danny convinced me like no, he's not just fucking dude, that dude would be the king of costume parties.
Speaker 3:Like a great costume. No, it's me. You're wearing my costume like I'd be all I'll be all fucking pimp about it. Dude, you know like you're wearing my shit bad santa. Oh dude yeah, dude, there's so many drug santas I think my daughter figured out santa and I'm not sorry.
Speaker 3:I think my daughter figured out at santa because of all this equality stuff, dude, when santa turned black and that was fine, dude, like she's. Like, I figured it out. There's not two it's like what the fuck? Yeah, dude yeah, we went to target and bought this wrapping paper and I didn't realize it was yy black, yy black dude like a checkerboard oh, santa's white santa, white santa black santa. Black santa like denzel, who would be white santa. Bill murray who doesn't like bill murray?
Speaker 3:like you're, you're fucked up if you don't like bill murray yeah and denzel maybe yeah, or samuel yeah so I'll do it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the black santa does not like white santa, but how come there's no Hindu Santa?
Speaker 3:I don't know, or the E's Remember we were talking about the Japanese, the Chinese and Vietnamese do the. E's. How come there's no E's Santa? He can't see very good, but he still gives out treats. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm going to get shut down by a Karen.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you are. So what's the top five for tonight? I'm so sorry I'm going to get shut down by a can. Yeah, you are.
Speaker 3:So what's the top five for tonight.
Speaker 1:The top five worst Worst things that have come out of your mouth. No worst things you could do at Bart Bauer Bash. Worst things that you could do at Bart Bauer.
Speaker 2:I'll go. That's hard because it's my first one, so I don't know. I'm going to go with number one. Do I set the pace now?
Speaker 3:Worst thing you could do at Bar Bauer Bash. I'm going to go with number one making breakfast at 8 am.
Speaker 2:That's a big no-no. We don't have lunch here. I feel like for any bachelor party guy's weekend, you don't do it early.
Speaker 3:Especially when I made the food I had to wake up to it, dude.
Speaker 2:Especially if it's the first morning because the first night you get there, you're just getting shmammered.
Speaker 3:Dude, I had to wake up to it. Dude, it looked like a come-in community college girl. You know, it's like you can have Karen. She's dripping right now with all of our good, but if you want her, you can heat her back up.
Speaker 2:I'd rather have like frozen waffles in the morning. Just put it in the toaster. Dude waffles are good Eggos.
Speaker 1:I'll fuck up an Eggo. I'll fuck up an Eggo. Oh dude, Can you imagine?
Speaker 3:if Jason Biggs Dude the top five things. Jason Biggs could have as an alternative to the pie? What if that is the top five things Okay so we got number one, the egg Dude the eggos. Because if you flip those together, dude, and you do it just right with the butter. You could make that into lips. You could bang that. You're going to tell me that Jason Biggs shows up and he sees a pie with crusties and he sees an eggo with butter. He's fucking that eggo.
Speaker 1:Number two.
Speaker 3:Number two what's the second thing he'd fuck over Over a pie?
Speaker 2:A cheesy bean burrito. Oh my god.
Speaker 1:Dude double shelled.
Speaker 3:And cut a hole. What do they?
Speaker 2:call it Taco bell. It was a Taco burrito Crunch wrap. Damn Crunch wrap. Taco Bell the. It was a like, not a taco Burrito, a Crunchwrap, dan.
Speaker 1:Crunchwrap. It was like a.
Speaker 2:Crunchwrap, but it was like bean in between instead of cheese.
Speaker 3:I forget what it was.
Speaker 1:Are you vegan or something? The Double Stuffs, do you not like that? The Double Stuff, burrito, the Double Decker.
Speaker 3:Double, Decker, yeah, double Decker, dude I'll bet Jason Biggs puts his dick in that double-decker dude, All right, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa, whoa, I'm feeling this. I'm feeling this, a hollowed-out Twinkie. A hollowed-out Twinkie when he's done, when he's done a tallied-out Dude, dude, dude, and then he fills it back up. You know what I'm? No one knows.
Speaker 2:Eugene Levy comes down.
Speaker 3:He's got it on his lip, dude, and he's like Jim, why don't you go ahead and have a seat? I'm going to say, my mom and myself found a Twinkie and we thought to ourselves we're going to eat it. It was filled with semen.
Speaker 1:That's like Van Wilder. That's why I don't eat Long John. I'm going to say a jelly-filled donut, Dude we talked about this the other day.
Speaker 3:Dude, think about how many things have John in it.
Speaker 1:John Doe.
Speaker 3:Long John. John, I'm going to say jelly-filled donut Long John.
Speaker 2:Silver is Fucking Denver dude.
Speaker 3:John fucking Elway. Is John in it, dude?
Speaker 2:John.
Speaker 3:Lennon John.
Speaker 2:Lennon.
Speaker 3:Pre-getting shot in the face Okay, and then pre-getting shot in the face, okay. Number three John.
Speaker 1:Hannaf Jelly-filled donut.
Speaker 3:Oh, my God.
Speaker 2:That just makes you dude, or Boston cream pie. Oh yeah, there you go.
Speaker 1:Boston cream pie. Boston cream pie.
Speaker 3:Dude, that's the name of the first girl I fucked. Dude, we all called her Boston cream pie Boston cream pie.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because everyone had a turn. She's from Boston. Yeah, dude, were you in Boston too. Was it like 50? We?
Speaker 3:called her Little League, so everyone had a turn. Oh yeah, that was good, we called her.
Speaker 2:T-Bone I'm a baseball guy. What's the fourth thing We'll let?
Speaker 3:you come up with one, so we got burrito.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, and we got jelly, and we got jelly-filled donuts.
Speaker 3:So the fifth one, we got to come up with a consensus. All right, brad, top of your mind go.
Speaker 1:I'm going to say pizza, pizza, yeah. Oh no stromboli, there you go. No Dude, that's too hard though.
Speaker 3:I'm going to go Hot Pocket for my rocket, oh my gosh Hot.
Speaker 2:Pocket for my rocket. I was going to say Hot Pocket, rocket, hot Pocket, do the ham and cheese.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, Dude, yeah.
Speaker 2:Because it's like a grilled cheese. I'm on the fly, I'm going to say a cannoli.
Speaker 1:Oh, dude, oh, that's good too, it's Italian.
Speaker 2:It's foreign, just fill it up with cream.
Speaker 3:I think I like the hot pocket. It's real nice. It's amazing hot pocket from my rocket I'm gonna come in your cannoli hey, hey, hey stromboli you know what I'm saying, dude?
Speaker 2:the hot pocket just flows out the tongue. Hot pocket so tight. Hot pocket from my rocket dude hot pocket, so tight afternoon delay.
Speaker 3:I fucked a hot pocket and I liked it. Dude Hot Pocket's so tight afternoon to late I fucked a Hot Pocket and I liked it All right. Well, hey Are we done.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that wraps it up for tonight.
Speaker 3:This is what I say to my wife every time. Are we done?
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh my God.
Speaker 2:If you're listening, I love you, honey, jesus, jesus.
Speaker 3:probably would have been 20 seconds long after I said that Dude Jesus is cool. He does stuff with things.
Speaker 1:Well, hey, stick around for the next episode. We're going to do another live broadcast from the show or from the Bart Bauer Bash.
Speaker 3:If you get in touch with us, just listen to other shows. I don't feel like spelling shit. Yeah well, We'll do it this expulsion.
Speaker 1:Yeah well, we'll do it. We'll do it on the next one.
Speaker 3:This is roundlovey at gmailcom. Yeah, hell yeah.
Speaker 1:Look at your fucking browser.
Speaker 2:That's how you spell it Live from Bar Power. Thanks for coming out.
Speaker 1:Ryan, yep, love you guys. Yeah, it was a blast, Okay, peace out.
