Rowd & Loudy Comedy Podcast
Welcome to Rowd and Loudy, the podcast where two blue-collar best friends from Michigan take you on a wild ride through life’s highs and lows. Whether we’re swapping stories from the jobsite, sharing laughs over backyard beers, or diving deep into the struggles and triumphs of everyday life, we keep it real, raw, and relatable. Expect a mix of humor, heart, and hard truths as we navigate the chaos of work, family, and friendship—all with a Midwest twist. Tune in and join the crew for a weekly dose of unfiltered conversation, a little rowdiness, and a lot of laughs!
Every episode features funny stories, funny moments and a top 5. The top 5 is unique because we do not share our top 5's with each other until we are live on the air.
The catch neither Brad nor Eric knows what the other person is going to say, the shock value is incredible. This is a comedy podcast about all the fun stuff in life.
Every episode features funny stories and a top 5.
Join Eric and Brad on a Rowd and Loudy Journey today!
Rowd & Loudy Comedy Podcast
Episode 18 - Warped Tour, Fireworks & TOP 5 Welcome to Walmart Intros
Remember that perfect summer day when you and your friends did something totally reckless but incredibly fun? That's exactly the nostalgic energy we tap into on our latest podcast episode.
We kick things off with Eric's adventures at Warped Tour, the legendary music festival that packed 80-100 bands into parking lots across America for the bargain price of $40. Picture this: Multiple stages featuring names like Fallout Boy, My Chemical Romance, The Offspring, and Avenged Sevenfold while dirt bikers and BMX riders performed tricks between sets. Eric shares his misadventures, including getting pegged in the head with a full bottle of Cherry Coke during My Chemical Romance and watching his friend Danny pass out from heat exhaustion—only to discover the sweet perks of the medical tent (free chips, ice packs, and a reclining chair with fans).
Then Greg takes us to his childhood summers in Missouri, where he and his cousins would wage miniature wars with GI Joe action figures. Unlike the tame fireworks available in Michigan (just "Fizzies and Sparklers"), Missouri offered serious pyrotechnics perfect for blowing apart action figures in spectacular fashion. These backyard battles highlight that special brand of destructive creativity that defined childhood before the digital age took over.
The hardest laughs come when we dive into our "Top Five Best/Worst Walmart Greeter Introductions." From inappropriately personal revelations to brutally specific customer observations, we imagine the most outrageous things a greeter could say before "Welcome to Walmart." These range from hilariously uncomfortable ("I once ate three vaginas at the same time. Welcome to Walmart") to painfully specific ("Slim-Fast aisle 70. We put it in the back so your ass has to walk there. Welcome to Walmart").
Want more unfiltered conversations that feel like hanging out with your funniest friends? Search for "Rowden Loudy Podcast Comedy Podcast" on Spotify or YouTube and dive into our back catalog. No pretense, no filter—just authentic laughs and nostalgic stories that'll have you remembering your own ridiculous summer adventures.
ROWD and LOUDY is the ultimate comedy podcast where two best friends share hilarious, never-before-heard stories in every episode! Tune in for laughs, surprises, and spontaneous humor as each episode features fresh, funny tales that one of the hosts has never heard before. Plus, every episode includes a Top 5 list where we rank and discuss random topics, adding even more fun to the mix. Whether you’re into storytelling, comedy, or just want to hear two friends banter about life, ROWD and LOUDY has you covered.
Listen now for your weekly dose of laughter, entertainment, and raw, unfiltered humor.
Comedy, Funny Stories, Humor Podcast, Best Friend Podcast, Hilarious Podcast, Top 5 Podcast, Hilarious Podcast, Storytelling Podcast, Weekly Comedy Show, Laugh out Loud Podcast, Unfiltered Humor.
welcome to the route and louty podcast. This is episode 18. Holy shit, is it? We're back? Yeah, we're back. So we've got a pretty good show for you tonight. We had some weird things happen before this one, but you know, hey, we're all right, we're all right, we're back at it. So we had to change up a few things. So we've got funny up a few things. So we've got funny stories from our childhood and then we're going to do a top five best Welcome to Walmart. Best greeter introductions at Walmart or worst.
Speaker 2:I want to shit my pants.
Speaker 1:We're going for the best, whether it's bad or good, whatever.
Speaker 2:I want to shit my pants. Welcome to Walmart In that kind of fashion, right.
Speaker 1:So I'm going to let Eric go first on his childhood story.
Speaker 2:So, believe it or not, back in the day it was always like super fucking hot, but something I always look forward to every summer was going to Warped Tour. So Warped Tour, did you ever go?
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:So Warped Tour is like an 80 to 100 band concert in a parking lot and it's cheap.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay.
Speaker 2:Okay, there's like seven stages. So there's this giant balloon blow up Yep, and it has all the different bands on it at the different times.
Speaker 1:Oh, no shit.
Speaker 2:So you know what stage to go to when.
Speaker 1:Oh sweet, Isn't that kind of cool yeah.
Speaker 2:And if you time it right you can get up close. And then the bands sign autographs Like we'd always get autographs. We met a lot of our favorite bands there.
Speaker 1:Sweet, that's cool.
Speaker 2:Like if they're not signing autographs for free, then they're like at their tent where their merch is so you can buy 85. And like good bands too, like 0 when I went. We're talking like fallout boy, my chemical romance, the offspring, uh, reliant k senses fail. The academy is mxpx starting line motion city soundtrack sayosin, avenge sevenfold, dropkick murphy's a tree. So like all sorts of music too. They have dirt bikers going the whole time. Bmx guys like on jumps in the middle. Uh, but dude it was always like the hottest time of year.
Speaker 2:Yeah but it was always so cool to me because it was like and that's something that you don't get anymore right like they brought warp to her back. But the difference is it's like you're talking like a 150 200 ticket oh yeah back then, dude, like you used to get tickets to that for 40 bucks and there's no seats. You walk around so like as long as you get in the gates, you're good yeah it was always the hottest day of the year, like it was always like middle of july yeah and what like.
Speaker 2:When it says that there was that comerica like a lot of people envision, like the inside of the you know baseball field, like with stages everywhere, like no, no, that's all closed off, it's just a parking lot, dude oh shit parking lot is full of fucking stages and and everything you can think of dude. Like forever, like you can't see all the stages from one spot so when they come like they, they must. I mean it's nuts. Think about all the security.
Speaker 2:Think about all like yeah but that's what was so cool is it was the closest you could get to these bands. I had a couple disasters happen, though, you know, like one year my Chemical Romance was playing in 05 and they were like the headliner, so it was like 7 o'clock so we'd been there since noon.
Speaker 2:We're fucking beat. As soon as they played one of their hit songs dude, like I think it was, I'm Not Okay. And as soon as the drums hit like that, all I hear in the back of my head is this like thunk, it was a full bottle of cherry coke thrown from all the way in the back and like the cap hit me in the back of the head. Oh, no shit, fucking hurt so bad. But you don't be a bitch. I mean, like you know, like I, I enjoyed the show. You know they didn't let me sleep after, but we had a good fucking time.
Speaker 2:But like it was always it was always like a mix of like really cool kids and then those kids, like you know, they like never get out of the house and it's like all right, it's 80, it's 80 of them. Go have your time yeah get the fuck back home. Church is at nine yeah, you know like oh fuck, dude, but we had so much fun so we'd always go. There'd be, like I don't know, 10 of us yeah be like my brother danny tyler jago yeah we'd all go, we'd all pile into a couple cars.
Speaker 2:That's what's cool, though they let you like go back to the car so you bring some pb and j's you just fuck that shit up. You wait till some shitty bands are playing for the next like two hours. It's like yeah have your fun, you know yeah it's pb and j time bitch dude, I went so I went like, like when I say I went to it, like I went to it, like I'll bet it, I'll bet it started early 2000s in Detroit at the Silverdome.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, Remember that.
Speaker 2:Yep, it was in that parking lot.
Speaker 1:Okay, and then?
Speaker 2:it moved to Comerica and we thought we really moved up in the world yeah. But it's just a parking lot there's nothing different Right. Like 07 was Newfound Glory. Alkaline Trio, all Time Low Rocket Summer, the Starting Line. Kill Switch, engage, red Jumpsuit Apparatus for Lion K Thursday and Alkaline Trio. I don't know man, I went every year.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there was just so many.
Speaker 2:There were like 80 bands. One day Starts at like 1 o'clock, goes until like 9.30, and then it's done.
Speaker 1:That's cool.
Speaker 2:One year I figured out that you could get backstage just by looking the part. And I looked the part Black shirt, stupid chains hanging off. So as soon as a group walked behind the fence, I just went with them.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:I got back there, I met a couple bands that way. They were cool. The guys at Newfound Glory were awesome. They were cool How'd you get back here? I was like, don't worry about it, I'm back here now.
Speaker 1:you know, I don't know did you ever get kicked out? No that's cool.
Speaker 2:I just went back in. I'm like out of the place, dude. The guy from my Chemicals like I snuck back, dude, I'll never forget this moment. Like I snuck back and the head singer of my chemical who ended up getting his autograph later, it doesn't matter but, um, he was walking the stage and he had like the ipod, you know, it was like oh, five, like before iphone was the thing.
Speaker 2:He's like bobbing his head like this and I have like a cd booklet and a sharpie ready to go, and he's like ignoring me. Dude, it's like and I have like a cd booklet and a sharpie ready to go and he's like ignoring me. Dude, it's like um, I'm walking with you, I'm walking with you, can you fucking sign this? And he just kept ignoring me. Dude, it's like, whatever the fuck this guy's on, I want it like. What in the world could just make you completely ignore?
Speaker 1:a person.
Speaker 2:Oh shit, they did great and I loved it until I got hit in the back of the fucking head with a bottle. You completely ignore a person. Oh shit, they did great and I loved it, until I got hit in the back of the fucking head with a bottle.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But dude, it was just rowdy If I had to put a number to it, probably 100,000, 10,000 kids.
Speaker 1:Oh, no shit, yeah Wow.
Speaker 2:All in a parking lot. The kids would go crazy to the weirdest shit. It'd be like Reliant K.
Speaker 1:It's like what the fuck are we?
Speaker 2:doing. Yeah, mom drove us here in the minivan. It's not time to throw down. All right, it is not right oh shit. Remember. We don't have those pb and j's. We ate those one year, one year, okay. So there's a band, and it's funny because they just got brought up again, because their singer was like if you voted for trump, don't come to our concert. It's like if you get more than 500 people to your concert, you're fucking winning. Right now, dude, no one likes your shit oh really anywho.
Speaker 2:so it's a band called the red jumpsuit apparatus and this guy on stage was I don't know. They were playing like 6, 37 sun's about to go down. I was there with tyler and danny and danny starts doing this wobble. You know, he's kind of just looking around just like eyes are starting to roll, you know, and I'm like how you doing he? I'm all right and he's always been that guy Doesn't want the spotlight. All of a sudden I look over, I'm doing this eyes roll in the back of his head, dude and he smacks the chicken in front of him and just on the ground.
Speaker 1:Oh no shit, he passed out of heat exhaustion.
Speaker 2:Oh wow, so he goes back there. So we we were, we were right on the on the bar, so we stayed up there for a little bit because it was sick and then, um, we went back there. He's in his tent, dude, and he's got like, okay, picture it like 85, 86 degrees at like seven o'clock still, like and you've been out there all day and paid for it yeah and you go back to this cabana dude and it's like fully shaded, like all the walls are down.
Speaker 2:Danny's laying in like a fucking recliner chair. He's got two fans on him, dude with ice packs on him Drinking a bottle like eating chips. So we figured out that in that moment like if you're ever not into a concert, dude, just go down, you get a free bottle of water, and sometimes, if you're lucky, we'll just go down, you get a free bottle of water and sometimes, if you're lucky, they will throw in chips.
Speaker 1:And fans.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to tell you when, I'm not going to tell you why, but I've done it and it was awesome. I went back there. You can't prove heat exhaustion either way, right? You just look a little flush, okay I am. You know you can't prove he'd exhausted either way. Right, you just look a little flush, okay I am. Yeah, drink some water and get back out there, dude, it's great try it at like one of those unofficial places.
Speaker 2:Dude like go see a concert at a fair right, where they don't normally do it. They do it like once a year good place to go. They had chips fair, where they don't normally do it. They do it like once a year, good place to go.
Speaker 1:They had chips. Oh my god, dude, I got to pick my kind of chips. Oh my god. I went cooler ranch oh my god, I can't believe you did that shit Just once, oh wow.
Speaker 2:Totally worth it. I haven't done it since. I've been buying seeds. I'm old, I get it. You know that kind of thing I still want to go.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I'm old, I get it, yeah, like I couldn't go, go yeah.
Speaker 2:But I'm old, I get it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like I couldn't go to this anymore, like if we were out in a parking lot for like 12 hours. Dude eat a dick. No way you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, dude, it's July 24th, it's at Comerica. It starts at 11 am, it gets over at 11 pm and it gets over at 11 pm. You don't. Do they have a cabana? Do they have a place where I can get? Like, how are their medical attempts? Do they have chips? I just I don't. You just stay there all day of day. Oh shit, dude, your favorite band's on man, they're killing it. I was like it's cool, I'm watching them on the monitor. What's it doing? Greg?
Speaker 1:Oh shit.
Speaker 2:Oh man, you guys have all tried hot tubs. Have you ever tried a cold tub? I have Great time. Yeah, I haven't done that in years, but it was awesome.
Speaker 1:Oh man.
Speaker 2:Last mishap at a concert I remember was Well shit. I just went to a concert in Arizona that started at like three and it went to like ten and me and Jack nailed it. That's when that guy picked us up and I thought we were gonna die yeah we didn't die you didn't die, it's good oh man, he did his job right, better than that Taco Bell lady. She forgot to buy her a blast.
Speaker 1:Who does that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, a heathen.
Speaker 1:Oh shit, so my story. So when I was a kid growing up, my cousins would always come up from Missouri and spend the summer, basically with me. How old were you? Oh, it was from the time I was born, dude. I mean, they came up all the time. It was my mom's brother.
Speaker 2:How many in the family.
Speaker 1:They have five. Well, my uncle, he was actually in the Army. I have five. Well, my uncle, he was actually in the Army and once he got out he got real sick and he died from Shit.
Speaker 2:I don't remember exactly what it was.
Speaker 1:It might have been Agent Orange, it might have been in that kind of thing. But I was young, I was probably eight or nine, maybe, so anyway, but after that, it could have been before that, I'm sure, I just don't remember. But they came up, my aunt and my cousin, my three cousins, and two of them would end up staying with me for the summer.
Speaker 2:The whole summer.
Speaker 1:Yeah, pretty much. I mean it may not have been. Maybe it was a couple three weeks, what?
Speaker 2:kind of jobs did they have? Damn Huh, the parents.
Speaker 1:No, they would go back home, it was just the kids, just my kids, yeah. So they'd go back home and then we would end up going down there, I think, to drop them off. So they would come up, bring their kids and they'd visit at our place and then we'd go down and visit them at the end of the summer. That was our yearly trip that we took. So but when we were down there, you remember GI Joe's.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So my one cousin, he had a whole Like the ones you blow up with M80s yeah dude, that was my story, man.
Speaker 1:That's what I'm going to talk about Really. Yeah, so my cousin had a huge collection of GI Joe's and I don't remember which one it was, but yeah, we would take them out. So in Missouri at that time you could get some really good fireworks and they were legal down there. You come to Michigan and we just for a long time we just had Fizzies and Sparklers and shit, that's all we had.
Speaker 2:Yeah, dude, those stupid like pretty pig.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you let it in, it just goes vee. Yeah, but they've changed that. So, yeah, you can blow up the neighborhood now I don't know how far it goes, but I don't even do it anymore.
Speaker 2:My kids are, you can buy mortars like the big old oh really, oh yeah to go into one of those stores now and it's like they always play like the toby keith, like I'm an american man, I got my F-150. And they got like coming now specials like 275. Oh yeah, blow up the party. 25 live rounds, 40, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 1:So anyway, so we'd go down there and we could get, we'd go. We always go to the fireworks shows. It was usually around July when we were down there.
Speaker 2:And so we got Was it Shelton Fireworks?
Speaker 1:Shelton, shelton, shelton, I don't know. Okay, I'm sorry, I don't know.
Speaker 2:I don't know, dude, I was young, I don't remember that I was young when I bought them and I know it was Shelton Fireworks.
Speaker 1:Anyway. So, but bottom and I know it's shelton fireworks anyway, so. But yeah, we came back to there. So they had a house and behind the house they had a barn and then they had like a, an area behind it that was just dirt, you know, like they were planning on building, which I know that they have down there, but anyway it was all cordoned off. And then we'd set up the GI Joes and we had pellet guns. Then we'd like pretend that we were the Army and we're shooting the GI Joes, you know, and then we'd take.
Speaker 2:You didn't complete your training. Your wife called. Here's her message.
Speaker 1:And then we'd take little firecrackers and toss them, you know, because the movies around those days, you know, everything was oh dude, back then there was a lot of stuff going on and so, yeah, it was that we were just two, you know three kids that were just having a good time, and yeah, you got a good crouching, gi Joe, dude.
Speaker 2:You could fit one of those firecracker packs right in them, dude, if you did it like a little snake. Oh yeah, then when you throw it it's already smushed. You know it's already in there.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, His crouch is gone.
Speaker 2:We know that, you know. Oh man, did you blow up a bunch of shit?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, we had. I mean, we had some good fireworks down there we were able to get. Yeah, we were throwing I don't know what they were M80s or stuff like that, throwing them like grenades, and every once in a while we'd kind of put one right next to it and try to blow it apart. You know things like that.
Speaker 2:They were made while in China.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I don't know Back then. I don't know if they were made in China.
Speaker 2:Probably Taiwan Might have been.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah or Indiana. We'll never know.
Speaker 1:I mean, we've got our own plastics. You know plastic facilities and stuff like that. It's.
Speaker 2:GI Mo. Now it's all the same shit, but a little different.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. I don't know. I wonder if they were made in the States back then. That'd be interesting, oh man.
Speaker 2:I remember my parents took us to Shelton Fireworks because it was in Indiana, right on the border, right on the line, and we lived in a cul-de-sac. So we're like, oh, we're probably fine. So we got these bottle rackets and we'd always light like four or five off at a time. Well, the trick with the bottle, like, especially the bottle in front of you, that ice mound right there. I feel like I had to. If you were to do a bottle racket out of that bad idea right now there's no way.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean. It's going to tip.
Speaker 2:Well, my bro-, my bra still didn't think that through and, uh, I didn't even think about it. It was just like a 20 ounce bottle of pop. It was empty. As soon as he lit up, the bottle just went like this and I went running. Dude, I was on our fucking front porch just staring at it and it hit me right in the neck and didn't pop and I was like, wow, could have died.
Speaker 2:It's like there's not enough firepower in that to kill anything like maybe a fucking gnat, you know, or like a spider or something that goes right there.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But not a human. It sucked, though.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's awesome.
Speaker 2:Oh man, we used to or my brother used to grab tennis balls and get like a Zacto knife and like cut up little holes in it and douse it in gasoline overnight and then light it on fire and play hockey. We have so many nets with just little holes in it, he got in trouble on the 4th of. July for that. My parents looked outside and him and his friends are playing tennis ball, hockey with a puck that's on fire and it's going under cars and shit oh.
Speaker 2:Jesus oh no, nothing blew up, so we're okay. Oh my God, oh man, we used to go to this firework show where we was at Port Central High School and it was before they got AstroTurf, so it was fine. Now they have AstroTurf, they can't do it. Anyway, it's no big deal. There's this tree that always used to catch on fire. It's like they never caught on. You'd look into the stadium, all the trees are down, but these three. Every year they'd catch fire, three, and every year they catch fire. And it's like, well, hold on, folks, we gotta, we gotta distinguish the the tree here. All right, all right, let's continue with the fireworks. Dale, show them what you got. Two firework shows are down. We're about to go see those oh yeah, where are you going?
Speaker 2:go to my brother's house and he lives on a lake and some dude that's like loaded, like buys a bunch of fireworks and like lets him off. I want to be there yeah, we um.
Speaker 1:so when my kids were younger, there was a guy that was in allegan that he had that same kind of setup and he'd had everything set up out on a to get a pontoon boat or a flat or something. Had it out in the middle of the lake Awesome. Yeah, it was good.
Speaker 2:And he'd go for a while, wouldn't he?
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's not a one-pump chump, he's putting on a show. Oh yeah, yeah, this guy put on a show.
Speaker 2:More than a feeling, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it was awesome. So I don't know if the lake people or the people that lived around the lake, I don't know if they all got together and pitched in and had this guy do it or if he was just, you know, kind of doing it on his own, but it was cool, it was a good show.
Speaker 2:I think they should form something right now, just because of you saying that Lake Association, people of the Lake Association what? That's what you know.
Speaker 1:every lake house should have a lake association people of I'm sure that they have an association already if you live on a lake oh, that's cool.
Speaker 2:I didn't think about it, so it's fine. That's so cool, dude maybe not every I'm really excited to go watch them. Go pew pew, you know yeah that's, that's cool, that's cool. And then, other than that I don't know, I used to go to the dude that invented the porn pop-ups house, like the first porn pop-up that used to happen, like when we used to have. Windows and gateway computers and dial up Like you couldn't watch the prices right, make a phone call and then like fingering or grip it and rip it. You know.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:At the same time I went to his house, dude, he had a whole house full of cars, like a whole barn, just dedicated to like dope cars. It's like fuck this guy. Then I swam in his pool, that was fun and then he did his firework show. That was nuts. There was so many. He was just hitting a tablet Like a fucking dick.
Speaker 2:It was back when that didn't happen. You know he did this wall of fire thing. Wow, I had a great time. Crispy cream donuts before you left Great time, whole box. I got a whole box, oh shit.
Speaker 1:I said it was for my family.
Speaker 2:But I was by myself with a friend. I was my family. I ate for them.
Speaker 1:Oh man, oh, I can't wait.
Speaker 2:Dude. Summertime parties are good, though.
Speaker 1:I can't wait to hear your top five. Oh they, oh, I can't wait, Dude. Summertime parties are good, though.
Speaker 2:I can't wait to hear your top five. Oh, they're all right. Yeah, yeah, I put some thought into it.
Speaker 1:Oh man, you got any other. That was kind of my story. I don't see my cousins as much anymore as I want to or I'd like to.
Speaker 2:I'm seeing mine on Wednesday.
Speaker 1:Nice.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're going to a swimming party at my parents' house.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:A swimming party. You got to get your trunks. You got to get your SBF 50 on your nose. That's when you know you're at a swim party. Someone's got to have a Gilligan's Island hat.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Some weird music playing Jimmy Buffett every now and then. He's not with us anymore. Have you ever had one of those cheeseburgers?
Speaker 1:No, not good. Oh really, who else did we lose not too long ago?
Speaker 2:The Keebler elf. The bell tire guy Does he retire? I?
Speaker 1:don't know, the Michelin man, tony, anyway, tony the Tiger.
Speaker 2:Schmackums, schmackums down his, he threw the towel in dude. I don't even know Schmackums. You don't even remember from Apple Schmacks Schmackums. He looks like a frog with a hat on. No oh.
Speaker 1:I don't remember that.
Speaker 2:He's a good dude.
Speaker 1:I'm sure. I'm sure he is. So do you want to go first, or do you want me to go first?
Speaker 2:That's up to you.
Speaker 1:I'll go first.
Speaker 2:I understand, I understand so these are the top five things that you could hear from your walmart greeter as you walk in the door. So it's uh kind of a little bit like this like I put my pants earlier today, I haven't showered since. Welcome to Walmart.
Speaker 1:Right, okay, so.
Speaker 2:Top five things a Walmart greeter could say. They could just be like what the fuck? This is not normal.
Speaker 1:Right, okay, my number one here. Well, not my number one, but the first one. I'm going to talk about Butt Stuff, aisle 69. Welcome to Walmart, oh my.
Speaker 2:God, Nothing else Gene my family's. Here Are they on sale. Not again Gene.
Speaker 1:Number two, that's tough Aisle 69.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Number two. The pens are in aisle two. Welcome to Walmart.
Speaker 2:You're old like me. Aisle two they're on sale. They have a slim fit. Go with the slim fit.
Speaker 1:But in aisle 2.
Speaker 2:Next to the dreams.
Speaker 1:Okay, Number three Small condoms aisle 13. Welcome to Walmart.
Speaker 2:It's got to be a couple too with kids, sir. Small condoms, aisle 13 oh shit number four I'd be so fucking, I'd be like I'm so confused this guy's spying on us. It was cold water. I just always defend it, oh shit.
Speaker 1:Oh man Number four, Hair growth IL-8.
Speaker 2:Welcome to Walmart she'll appreciate it too it's a couple. Bill hair growth IL-8 IL-8. Welcome to Walmart, dude. He'd get punched in the fucking mouth. Oh yeah, wait till the next one, dude. Wait till the next one, dude, wait till the next one Okay.
Speaker 1:Okay, couple, or just a guy, this could be for anybody. Okay, this is my number one. Okay, all right. Slimfast aisle 70. We put it in the back, so your ass has to walk there. Welcome to Walmart.
Speaker 2:You can count your steps on a Fitbit, aisle 13. I'd be so mind fucked. Scales or aisle 14? Oh my god, wouldn't that be horrible. Scales, aisle 14.
Speaker 1:You ready for mine?
Speaker 2:Now remember, these are on the spot, but still couldn't. Number one Worst things you could hear a Walmart creator say right before welcome to Walmart. Well, hello there folks. I once ate three vaginas at the same time. Welcome to Walmart. I'd want to know the logistics. Show me how, oh my God. Number two Well, you all look stoned folks. We're having a sale on zebra cakes, sunny Delight and cookie dough. Welcome to Walmart, dude, that solves everything. You know. Zebra Cakes, sunny Delight and Cookie Dough.
Speaker 1:I think you'd have to throw Doritos on there.
Speaker 2:Oh mm-mm, it just depends on what mood you're in, you know, you know what?
Speaker 1:that could be. Yeah, they would fuck me up. Cookie dough, dude, cookie dough.
Speaker 2:Or this one would fuck me up. Well, hello folks. I once failed out of community college study in general studies. Now I'm living the dream. Welcome to Walmart. Look at me now, guys. Oh man.
Speaker 1:That doesn't make any sense what I just wrote down. All right, what else you got?
Speaker 2:All right. Number four I smoked 12 joints before my shift and I can't tell up from down or down from up, Welcome to Walmart, I'll have what he's having, what I'll. And what if he just said folks, the schnozberries taste like schnozberries here. Welcome to Walmart, Dude. I would love it every second of it. I'd give him a five and everything.
Speaker 1:That'd be awesome.
Speaker 2:We've had a moment.
Speaker 1:Snazzberries taste like strawberries.
Speaker 2:Snazzberries taste like strawberries. Welcome to Walmart.
Speaker 1:Yeah, don't touch the produce. You could say that.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:Welcome to Walmart. Snazzberries taste like strawberries. Don't eat the produce. Gosh, welcome to Walmart. Snazzberries taste like strawberries, don't eat the produce. Yeah, welcome to Walmart.
Speaker 2:Yeah, or what about a confusing one, like I often insert myself into tight situations. Welcome to Walmart. What does that mean?
Speaker 1:What does that mean?
Speaker 2:The only time two becomes, the only time three comes before. Two is in the dictionary. Welcome to Walmart. You were going to say it the other way around. I know I was. Did you know Jupiter's not actually a planet? Welcome to Walmart oh man, oh, I hate my job, I hate my life and I drive a Dodge Neon.
Speaker 1:Welcome to Walmart, oh shit oh man, those are good, those are good syphilis cream, aisle 9 oh my god, those are good, those are good.
Speaker 2:Syphilis cream, aisle nine oh my God. Welcome to.
Speaker 1:Walmart. I thought I had a couple more, but that must have been on my other. Yeah, that was my other top five. What are we going to do tonight?
Speaker 2:Closest thing we have in porn is in the dvd. Six in the city, aisle 13 in the back. Welcome to walmart. My dreams are now a joke.
Speaker 1:Welcome to walmart oh man, that would be so probably brutally honest I, I'm handicapable, not handicapped.
Speaker 2:Welcome to Walmart, that would be so confusing. I didn't say that I'm handicapable. I just want you to know. I know you can do it, man. Okay, Welcome to Walmart. You know, just whenever you want the conversation over, you say welcome to Walmart.
Speaker 1:What if?
Speaker 2:we did that to like people here. I'll. Can you take a look at this? Yeah, yeah, no problem. Okay, when can you have a time? Welcome to Walmart, welcome to Walmart. That's when they need to stop talking. Just whenever anyone comes up, welcome to Walmart, turn it on them and ask them a question. That'd be great. Ask for something specific, like weird specific.
Speaker 1:That would be great.
Speaker 2:What aisle's the pool section in?
Speaker 1:13.
Speaker 2:He wouldn't know.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't know. Let me go grab Bonnie. Bonnie might know.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And Bonnie knows Cliff, and Cliff, of course, is one of them.
Speaker 1:You know why they're there. Do you know why they have greeters?
Speaker 2:Why.
Speaker 1:Because the percentage of theft when you have a greeter goes way down. What if we turn that?
Speaker 2:into a beater, like he is a felon, like he was there for beating someone's face in. Like that's what he's there for. He's dressed the same as them Shitty t-shirt, the fucking thing on but you know he's got a priors dude.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Look at that theft chart again. Now you gotta go through a fucking Jason fucking Statham, looking motherfucker dude. Yeah, look at that theft chart again. Now you gotta go through a fucking Jason fucking Statham, looking motherfucker dude. You know, I once killed a man from one punch. Welcome to Walmart, that'd be great. Did you know the human body has 92 pressure points, including both your eye sockets 94?
Speaker 1:Welcome to Walmart. Oh shit, Just creepier and creepier.
Speaker 2:Yeah, dude, you want to get butt naked and grapple. Welcome to Walmart. You got something to say, bro. You got fucking something to say, bro. You got fucking something to say, bro. Welcome to Walmart. Bitch what you looking at, bitch? Welcome to Walmart Muscle milk Aisle 14. You obviously fucking need it, you chump. Welcome to Walmart Dumbbells Aisle 17. Right next to him, start with the fives pussy oh man, oh my god, you're too much dude I think that theft would go down if he had a neck tat.
Speaker 2:You know, if you had to go back by neck tat nate dude every time, you know, and he just had some, even if he had a tone of like welcome to Walmart. You know, even like a welcome to Walmart, you know, like just a weird gaze.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no one would do anything. I don't need it that bad. I'm just going to piss and get out of here. That's what a criminal would say.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 2:Look at your theft chart now, bitch.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're not missing any.
Speaker 2:Uncrustables. You're not missing shirts, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's why they do that.
Speaker 2:A weird suit too, like a black, something Like an earpiece. So it looks like he's connected.
Speaker 1:Like an agent. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Nick Tatnate just made Lieutenant. He's dripping swag. Good, Look at this motherfucker dude.
Speaker 1:Oh man.
Speaker 2:I have a Bentley Continental. Welcome to Walmart.
Speaker 1:You know, and it and it's like, oh, he's British trained not doing that, right? Yeah, oh man. Yeah, you're too much dude.
Speaker 2:I don't think so maybe a little if you want to listen to past episodes. They're good, they're great, they're going and they're not available for a long. I'm just kidding. They're going to be available for free.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And they're on Spotify. Most of them are on YouTube, but you've got to search. Rowden Laudy Podcast.
Speaker 1:Comedy podcast.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Rowden Laudy Podcast, comedy podcast. Yeah, rowden Laudy Comedy Podcast.
Speaker 2:Just like it's R-O-W-D-L-O-U-D-Y Podcast Comedy podcast. Well, thank you to everybody from here to I don't know, we have some overseas people listening, that's dope.
Speaker 1:Yeah it's, I don't even.
Speaker 2:I don't want to get kidnapped though or anything.
Speaker 1:It's been a minute since I've even looked at the views to see how many we have.
Speaker 2:But you know what?
Speaker 1:I just I don't. That's not what this show is about. You know the views or whatever. It's two dudes hanging out having a good time, not giving a shit.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And just talking like dudes talk.
Speaker 2:So yeah, it just it comes. Yeah, it's synergistic. No, I get it. No, it's, you're right. I thought Danny was a good guest.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely, that was great. The guest today like, yeah, he hung out for a while.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, he did I wish he would have gone on.
Speaker 1:He would have been fine. Oh, yeah, Well yeah.
Speaker 2:He had a prior engagement. Dude and softball games have popcorn at all of them. And glizzies, dude. I'm just saying like $2 glizzy, $2 hot dog. It's like dude three and three, please, motherfucker, 12 spot. You know what I mean. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh yeah, that'd be great.
Speaker 2:Oh, and a Coke, and I'm at 14. But I'm fine with that. I got a $14 bill right here and it's for you. That's for you. I'm a volunteer. Make it $15, bitch. You know what I mean? I didn't mean to call you that, debbie. Okay, I didn't mean to call you that. I'm excited. I'm excited about the local Z prices. All right, you can't get it, man, softball. There's just sunshine in the air, you know yeah right now they're playing.
Speaker 2:Right now, who is softball people? Oh yeah, they're playing softball games. Yep, yep, yeah man plays that too. You know that kind of shit and you're just sitting there with your popcorn. You're like, yeah, yeah. I want to echo what she said yeah, yeah, you know pixie sticks, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:I want to echo what she said, cause yeah, yeah, oh, man, you know pixie sticks yeah, they're a yard long and they're only 75 cents you got 14 of them right, you want to go with powder, blue or grape yeah, oh man.
Speaker 2:I think we did good yeah we want to thank our sponsors uh, sponsormecom Sponsors, high sponsors, not so high sponsors and, of course, tegos, sponsor Tegos.
Speaker 1:Tegos. Yeah, dude, all right. Well, hey, everybody, thanks for listening. We will catch you on the next episode 19. Peace out Okay, peace out Okay.
