The Napkin In Between
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The Napkin In Between
The Girls Are Fighting…
The beautiful arrival of spring weather and the healing power of a stranger's psychic reading set the stage for our deeper dive into a troubling conflict dividing Black communities online. As my palm reader wisely noted that my defensive walls might be keeping out more good than bad, I couldn't help but see the parallel to what's happening between Black Americans and South Africans over the controversial Zulu parade in New Orleans.
When South African Zulu people voiced concerns about cultural appropriation and blackface in this Mardi Gras tradition, the response should have been simple: listen and learn. Instead, dismissal spiraled into a full-blown diaspora war with both sides hurling increasingly harmful stereotypes. From mocking American slavery to perpetuating colonial myths about Africa, these exchanges reveal something deeply troubling – we're fighting each other using the very weapons created by white supremacy to keep us divided.
What's most heartbreaking is watching how these conflicts strengthen the systems designed to oppress all Black people globally. Every time we aim hurtful stereotypes at each other, we're doing the work of white supremacy for free. These diaspora wars – whether between Black Americans and South Africans, light-skinned versus dark-skinned, or any other division within our community – follow the same destructive pattern. They drain our collective energy while reinforcing harmful narratives that benefit no one except those who wish to see us remain divided and conquered.
True liberation requires us to recognize when we're being played against each other. Can we start by simply acknowledging when something is offensive without justification or deflection? Can we redirect our passion toward dismantling the real enemy – global white supremacy – rather than tearing each other down? I'm convinced we're infinitely stronger together than apart, but getting there means breaking down walls between us, not building them higher. What walls might you need to examine in your own life and community?
Is this thing on? Hello, hello, uh-oh, another yapper with a mic. Hello everyone, and welcome back to the Napkin and Midspring Podcast. I'm your host, dejanae Jones. Bitch, my allergies are so bad right now. Spring is definitely on its way. I cannot breathe. I want to scratch my eyes out. I am constantly sneezing like oh my God. So if I sound like stuffy today, or if I look like my left eye is absolutely swollen right now so I'm just giving y'all a heads up, girl I'm confused because the weapons formed against me are prospering, like my allergies are so fucking crazy. So, anyway, if I sound stuffy or you know whatever, it's just allergies, so don't mind that, even though the allergies are kicking my ass. Right now, though, I'm so excited because spring I wouldn't say it's fully here, but she's definitely on her fucking way and I'm so excited because I love when the sun is out, I love when the weather is nice. I'm wearing a dress right now For the auto listeners you can't see, but for the visual listeners, like, I have not worn a dress in months and I love wearing dresses because pants are so constricting. I hate wearing pants and I'm wearing a dress right now, like I'm so excited for spring and for the weather to be nicer because I'm trying to be outside. I am trying to be outside. So this has been the peak of my week. It's just the weather getting nicer because then I can be outside more.
Speaker 1:And the other day, me and my roommate we went outside because the weather was so nice. So we were just like let's just go dilly dally, see what we can get into and tell me why we're walking down the street. And there was this lady sitting on this little stool. She had like this really mini table and she had a sign on the table that said psychic readings. And we were like, oh my god, like she looks legit, because it was just like the way she was sitting. I was like, oh, she gets down, she don't play. So we were like, let's get psychic readings.
Speaker 1:So I had this woman read my poems to tell me about, like, my past and my future and to be completely honest, I would say like 82 of what she said was pretty spot on. She was talking about how my last relationship she said it wasn't very long but it was very intense and because of that relationship she was like, have you like built up like a little bit of a defense ball and because of that relationship, she was like have you like built up like a little bit of a defense wall? And I was like, hey, yes, queen, like I built this wall brick by brick. And she was like, yeah, that's not. And I said, oh, um, okay.
Speaker 1:So she was explaining to me like oh, like your wall, you're like keeping people out. And I I said, yeah, girl, like that's the point of a wall, like what else? But she was like you're keeping out people who like want to treat you well and and do good by you. And I was like I mean, yeah, you're right, but at the end of the day I think I'm still gonna take my chances with the wall and and keep it up. But thanks for the information. But she was telling me like I need to like be more open and let people in more. And you know, and I'm like, yeah, I definitely like.
Speaker 1:She was pretty spot on, like my last relationship, which I feel like one day I'll probably do a story time about, because that shit was crazy, like straight out of a movie type shit, crazy, um. So I'll probably like tell y'all about it one day, but let me heal a little bit more first, but anyway, it was super intense and super crazy and yeah, I've definitely built up a wall ever since that relationship ended. But she was telling me, like you know, you're, you're keeping good people out, and I was like, okay, but like I feel like I'm justifying the wall, and I totally understand that. Am I gonna stop doing it? No, Is it completely healthy? Probably not, but again, I'm not gonna stop doing it.
Speaker 1:So I feel like if someone truly wants to be in my life, you have to show it to me, and part of that is I'm gonna do things to self-sabotage. That's just what it is. I definitely self-sabotage, and if you really care about me, then you'll, you'll work around this. I need to go talk to that, lady bro. But I just feel like there's people that I've tested in the past and I'm like I'm gonna do this thing to see how you react to it, and this thing was carefully crafted by yours truly to I don't want to say get under your skin, but like to push you away. This thing was carefully crafted to push you away and if you allow it to push you away, then you just weren't real in the first place. That's what I tell myself. Again, I understand that that's not healthy. I shouldn't do that, but it is what it is. The ones who are supposed to be here will fight through all of my self-sabotage and break the wall down. If you can't break the wall down, you weren't meant to be in my life. Anyway. I need to go talk to that lady.
Speaker 1:So bad anyway, but that was definitely the peak of my week. I've never done a psychic reading before. It kind of low-key scares me, um, but I was like let's just see what this lady has to say, but she was accurate about that. She also said that I, in the future, I'm gonna own my own business, which I was like thank god, because I I've always felt that like I was supposed to be my own boss. Like maybe it's because I'm a Sagittarius, maybe it's just because I'm stubborn, but I hate Having to like answer to somebody. You know what I mean. Um, so I've always wanted to have my own thing and and be my own boss and do whatever I want to do. Like I feel like I was just talking to some friends about this last week.
Speaker 1:If I want to go on a vacation, I should be able to go on a vacation. I'm grown as fuck. I have the money, like let me go on a vacation. But the fact that I have to go to someone else and be like, hey, I want to take this time off, is that okay with you? That really grinds my gears. Like I hate having to ask other people to do shit. I just want to do my own thing. Like I'm grown as fuck. You know what I mean. So I've always wanted you know my own business, that if I want to travel, I can do that. If I want to take a couple days, like do whatever, you know what I mean. Like I just want to be able to live my life fully without having to depend on or ask other people if I could live my life. So that was really cool.
Speaker 1:She said I'm going to own my own business and she said New York is my forever home, which I loved hearing because I've always felt like that I feel like I've moved around quite a bit just to try to find like where I feel like I fit in the best. And New York is definitely where, of all the places that I've ever lived, I feel like, okay, this is like where I'm supposed to be. So that was really cool to hear that New York is like my forever home, so overall it was a pretty cool experience. Um, my roommate also got her palms read and I felt like her reading was way more accurate than mine, like the things that she was saying. I was like wait, like we were just talking about that, um, so it was pretty cool it was. It was a very interesting experience and just something that I've never done before, and I feel like I'm at the point where I want to like try new things or like push myself outside of my comfort zone, and so it was really cool to to be able to do that. So that was definitely the peak of my week the fact that the weather is getting nicer and getting a palm reading. As always. Please tell me the peak of your week, something that made you smile, kept you grounded, something that you found joy in in the chaos of the world. Interestingly enough, after my roommate and I got our palms read, we were talking about you know, psychics and getting readings done, and she was telling me how, like, she wants to go downtown in New York where, like, the bigger psychics are and get more readings. And I was like, girl, we should just go to New Orleans and get a reading and she's like, oh my God, yes, and it's so interesting because, segwaying into what we're going to talk about today, the girls are fighting.
Speaker 1:There is currently discourse going on on the internet between Black Americans and South Africans because of the Zulu parade in New Orleans during Mardi Gras, and people have been asking me my thoughts and my take on the whole situation and truly I have been clicking, not interested, on all of the videos that I have seen about this whole discourse. I avoid diaspora wars more than jlo avoids using her vocals and her songs, because I hate diaspora wars, I hate them. I hate them. I hate them because, at the end of the day, no one one is really winning. No one involved in the back and forth is truly winning. I'm seeing people like, oh my god, the South Africans are eating the black Americans up. Oh my god, the black Americans are eating the South Africans up. Truly, all I see whenever it is a black diaspora against another black diaspora is white supremacy tactics versus white supremacy tactics. So who's actually winning? White supremacy, bitch, and I fucking hate that shit. I hate it. All of this, the fighting amongst black people, a scheme set up by white supremacy to keep us fighting each other rather than fighting the white supremacy itself.
Speaker 1:I want to start off by saying again I have been avoiding all this like the plague, so I have very little understanding or information around the entire discourse, but from my understanding, the Zulu parade is a parade that happens in New Orleans during Mardi Gras, and Zulu people who are from South Africa came out and said like hey, we find this pretty offensive because of the use of blackface. We feel like our culture is being used as a costume. Like they were explaining why they feel like this is offensive to them. I feel like once they came out and said, hey, we find this offensive, the only response should have been okay, basically, you know what I mean. Like you find this offensive, we are sorry that this is offensive to you. Like maybe let's can you teach us more about your culture? Is there a way that we can do this parade in a way that it won't be offensive to you? Like I feel like that should have been the response. However, from my understanding, the overwhelming response was well, you know, like that's just something that they do in new orleans. Us, as other black americans who aren't from new orleans, like we don't really understand new orleans people and like what they do and and they they weren't meaning to be offensive like that's just something that they do in new orleans. I feel like that was a terrible response, truly.
Speaker 1:Number one the use of blackface in 2025 is fucking crazy. Like and as black people, regardless of where you're from, I think that that is a pretty general understanding that the use of blackface, because of its history and how it's been used, to mock black people, that's crazy. I don't understand why the blackface was used or was needed. Number two, two, again, as black people, no matter where you're from, you understand the gravity and the disrespectfulness of somebody taking your culture and essentially making fun of it, like using someone's culture as a costume or the appropriation of like braids, like we all understand how that feels for your culture to be appropriated.
Speaker 1:So, like, at the end of the day, when someone tells you hey, this thing is offensive to me, you don't get to try to rationalize with them as to why it's not offensive. The only response should be you're offended. Can you explain to me why, and is there a way that I can do this in a way that would not be offensive to you? Because do I think that the people of New Orleans meant to be offensive to Zulu people in South Africa? No, but at the end of the day, it doesn't matter. You were offensive. So how can we do this thing? How can we reshape this thing, if at all possible, to a way that it won't be offensive? But I think that the overall response was, you know, like we don't really understand it wasn't meant to be offensive Like why are you guys making such a big deal of it? And it's like that's their culture. Why wouldn't they make a big deal out of it? You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:So in response to that or I I don't know if it was truly in response to that, but somehow we got to a point where now south africans are saying really, really disrespectful and racist things in defense of their cauldron, in defense of south africa. One of the biggest ones that I've seen was from a woman who was dressed as a slave. She had cotton in her hand and she's crip walking to Kendrick Lamar's, not Like Us. I've also seen South African people asking for ways that they can donate to the American police force. I'm seeing South African people say the only evidence that their schools in America are the school shootings.
Speaker 1:It's gotten to the point where South Africans are now claiming Elon Musk. I made a video in December and I was jokingly like when are y'all gonna start telling Elon Musk to go back to Africa, referencing how white people are always, like you know, go back to Africa to black Americans because Elon Musk is from South Africa, which a lot of them don't even realize because he's white. They just think that he's American, but he is from South Africa and there were so many South Africans in the comments. Like we don't claim him, he's not from South Africa. Now, a couple months later, they're like your country is run by a South African, like we've gotten to the point where y'all are now claiming Elon Musk, like I fear we may have lost the plot. And on the other side, I'm seeing Black Americans talk about how all there is in Africa are dirt roads and they don't have clean water and how they have this outbreak of HIV, like the craziest fucking shit, and I am just like I don't know how we got here.
Speaker 1:But at the end of the day, white supremacy is winning and that's really. All I care about is the fact that we are fighting each other, which is a scheme set up by white supremacy. All of these diaspora wars, whether it's light-skinned versus dark skinned, whether it's black Americans versus South Africans, whether it's black Americans versus the black British, like all of them, are schemes set up by white supremacy, because while we're busy fighting amongst ourselves and fighting each other, white supremacy continues to thrive. These are all stereotypes. Every single jab that I have seen thrown, whether it be from a black American or from a South African, all of these jabs are rooted in white supremacy. Every single one, every single one, and it's just.
Speaker 1:It makes me so upset because, like, why can't we just have a conversation? Why can't we just be like, hey, you know, this thing is offensive. This is why it's offensive. Like I said before, the response should have been can you tell us why this is offensive? Is there a way that we can do this in a way that won't be offensive? Because, again, I do think that they were just trying to celebrate culture with the Zulu parade. I don't think that it was meant to be offensive, but at the end of the day, that doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if it was meant to be offensive. They found it offensive. So how can we do it in a way that's not offensive? You know what I mean. Like yeah, maybe we had never heard of the zulu parade.
Speaker 1:I, before this whole thing, did not know about the zulu parade, but that doesn't make it any less offensive and that doesn't serve as an excuse as to why we should be like downplaying the fact that they said that this is offensive and at the very same time because, as we know, two things can and in situations like this often are true at at once. On the other side, doing things to intentionally be offensive to Black Americans is also dead fucking wrong. And not only is it wrong, but, like the ways in which South Africans are responding to it are just not even really historically accurate. Again, I think one of the biggest responses that I've seen and why black americans got upset, there was a woman who was dressed as a slave with cotton in her hand, and she's crip walking to kendrick lamar's not like us, and it's like in louisiana. They mostly focused on sugarcane, not cotton, and also the crip walk is from california, not new, or so it's like you're throwing jabs or attempting to throw jabs, but it's at everyone except for the people of New Orleans, like if you were upset about the parade in New Orleans and you're. You want to be disrespectful to someone, not not justifying it? I'm not.
Speaker 1:I, again, I don't agree with diaspora wars and, again, the only people who win are white people and white supremacy. But if you're gonna make jokes like this, like, at least try to aim for the right people. You know what I mean. And it's like I also saw people talking about, like, how they're gonna donate to the police fund and they're like, oh, I need to get my I can't breathe t-shirt, which I can't breathe was in reference to the killing of eric gardner, who's from staten island. So it's just like we're, we're, we've lost the plot and the jabs aren't even fucking accurate. Everyone else is catching fucking strays and you're mad at the people of new orleans. And again, I'm not saying that I agree with any of it, but I'm saying like, if you're gonna do it, at least maybe try to be accurate and hit the right people. I don't fucking know.
Speaker 1:I don't think we should be doing it at all, because, again, all of this is rooted in white supremacy. It's white supremacy tactics versus white supremacy tactics, so the only people who are winning are white people and white supremacy. We will never be free. Oh my god. Like this is why I hate.
Speaker 1:I've been avoiding this shit like the plague, because no one is winning, at least like people are like oh my god, the black americans are winning, the south africans are winning. Truly, neither one is winning. We look fucking foolish, everyone involved looks fucking foolish. So my only take through this whole thing we have to stop this madness. It is crazy. I don't understand why it even got to this point. I don't and again, I have very limited knowledge about all of this because I've been avoiding this shit. So I don't know if it was the response from black Americans that started it. I don't know if it was South Africans, and I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck because, at the end of the day, white supremacy is winning and that's what I give a fuck about.
Speaker 1:I just wish black people and when I say black people, I'm referencing everyone, black Americans, south Africans, black, british like I wish all black people. I just wish we had more community, I wish we had more respect for one another and I wish that we could truly come together, because I feel like if we really came together like not everyone, because there's always going to be some who are going to cling to bakunari and harriet tubman left people all behind for a reason. We need to keep that same energy, but I wish, as a majority, we could all come together, because if we genuinely all came together, we are so much stronger together than we are separate. We really are, and every time we participate in a black diaspora war, every time we start fighting against one another, whether we're ready to admit it or accept it, we are helping to uphold white supremacy, and that's why I hate them so much, because, at the end of the day, none of us are winning. We are still all being oppressed and we're enabling that oppression in one form or another. Every single time we participate in a black diaspora war, every single time we participate in fighting one another, we are helping keep the shackles firmly in place.
Speaker 1:As we wrap up today's episode, I am begging y'all please stop the diaspora wars. There is no real winner other than white people and white supremacy. To any black South Africans who might be watching this, my knowledge of the Zulu parade is extremely limited, but I am open to listening and learning as to why it is offensive. I've done a little bit of research, but if anybody wants to DM me, email me. I'm always looking to be more educated. So please reach out. I'm open and I want to learn, and I also want to try to teach other Black Americans why it is offensive and, if at all, if we can do the parade still and it not be offensive, I'm open to those suggestions as well.
Speaker 1:At the same time, I hope that y'all will understand how the use of Black American history and the way that Black Americans are treated in America today as a way to clap back or make jabs at us is also very offensive and it's also very wrong and moral of the story. I just want us to not fight one another. I want us to come together as a community because, again, I do feel that we are much stronger together than we are separate. So that is my take on the whole situation. I hate it all. I hate all the fighting and I just would love for it to stop. So, again, I'm open to being educated and I hope that you guys will understand that the use of our history and our current lives is also very offensive.
Speaker 1:At the end of the day, white supremacy is winning and I hate to see it. I hate to see it. I just want my people to be free, bruh. Like I hate this shit so much.
Speaker 1:So thank you all for tuning into today's episode. I hope that it was helpful. I hope that it will make you stop and think about the actual repercussions of your actions, because again and I'm just gonna keep saying it none of us are winning. It's, it's, it's white supremacy that's winning, and I really hate that for us. So please just be mindful about what you're doing and saying and who the real winner and who the real enemy is at the end of the day, because the enemy is always white supremacy and we should always be trying to actively fight against white supremacy. So I hope that we will do that more in the future. I hope that everyone is having a good day, except for that orange drink, lady, and I will talk to you in the next episode. Peace and love. Talk to you later. The Napkin in Between, hosted by Dejanae Jones, produced by Dejanae Jones, post-production by Dejanae Jones, music by Sam Champagne and graphics by Yzma Vidal. Don't forget to like and subscribe. See you next episode.