The Napkin In Between

Straight Up NOT Having A Good Time...

Daijné Jones Season 1 Episode 25

Sometimes the weight of the world becomes too heavy, and we struggle to find even one thing that brings us joy. That's exactly where I found myself this week, sitting in front of my microphone for over an hour, unable to identify a single moment that made me truly happy.

This raw, unfiltered conversation explores what happens when our mental health takes a hit from the constant barrage of disturbing news and political developments. From impending international conflicts to the erosion of reproductive rights, 2025 has become a brutal landscape to navigate emotionally, and I'm not afraid to admit I'm struggling.

The case of Adriana Smith reveals the truly dystopian reality we're facing. This Black woman in Georgia was declared brain dead in February, yet her body was kept on life support against her family's wishes because she was nine weeks pregnant. The hospital essentially turned her into an incubator, citing abortion bans as justification, despite lawmakers clarifying this wouldn't constitute abortion. When medical institutions are willing to use a deceased woman's body this way, what does that tell us about the value placed on women's autonomy and humanity?

For those feeling overwhelmed by constant historical events - from 9/11 to recessions, political upheaval, pandemic, and now potentially war - you're not alone. We're an entire generation coping through humor while trying to process trauma in real-time. But sometimes we need to acknowledge our struggles instead of pretending everything's fine. Bad bitches have bad days too, as Megan so perfectly put it.

If you're feeling the heaviness of these times, I encourage you to be selfish with your energy and wellbeing. Especially for Black women who have historically been expected to sacrifice for everyone else - it's time to put ourselves first. The love and care we give to others must be directed inward because at the end of the day, the only person who will ensure you're okay is you.

Daijné:

Is this thing on? Hello hello. Uh oh, another yapper with a mic. Hello everyone. Welcome back to the napkin in between podcast. I am your host, Daijné Jones. I hope everyone has been having a good week, except for that orange drink, lady, of course.

Daijné:

I'm not gonna hold y'all. I've been like in such a funk all week and I like I don't know why, but at the same time I feel like I do know why, like there's just too much fucking going on right now in the world and I feel like I don't know, I just feel extremely weird and I feel low energy. And I don't want to say that I feel depressed because, like mental health and mental health diagnoses are very serious and I don't like when people throw diagnoses and words around. So I'm not going to say that I'm depressed, but I just feel very low, for whatever reason I have no idea, like nothing. I don't want to say nothing happened, like. When I say nothing happened, I mean like nothing happened to me personally, I guess. But like, just like the weight of everything that's going on in the world right now, I just feel very, very like low and it's like to the point where, as y'all know, I do like the peak of the week where I talk about something that I found joy in in the week because of the chaos of the world, and I've been sitting here with my podcast equipment all set up and like just sitting here for like the last hour and a half trying to figure out like what the peak of my week is, and like I'm gonna be completely honest with you guys. I've always been honest and that's just before anything. I want to be honest in everything that I do, in my content creation and just what I put out there. I am really struggling this week. I don't know what the peak of my week is this week. I don't know. I can't pinpoint a single thing that I've just been like oh, that really like like put a smile on my face this week and that like makes me a little bit sad, um, because like oh, I just feel like there's so much going on, like bitch, we're about to go to fucking war. Like we, I don't look good in camo, I can't, I can't go to war. Bitch, I don't look good in camo and I'm scared. Iran said everyone will feel it like girl, everyone, like like me you, you mean me like, please, please, iran, can we just talk, because I can't, I can't do this, I can't, um. So that's been freaking me out and then, like, I don't know, it's just too much going on and I don't ever want to like, be dishonest and be like, oh my god, yeah, I'm so happy this week and this is what made me happy. Like, I don't know, nothing has made me happy this week. There's just too much going on and I just I'm really scared. I don't like, I'm just really really scared.

Daijné:

Trump is like everything that he has said on his campaign trail before he got into office, surprising to no one, has been a fucking lie. He's talking about some no world, no new wars. While he was in office, he was going to be able to stop the russia ukraine conflict within 24 hours of being elected in november, and it's not I don't even want to say conflict like literally, like russia just invaded ukraine and has been wreaking havoc there like he, but he said he was of being elected in November, and it's not. I don't even want to say conflict like literally like Russia just invaded Ukraine and has been wreaking havoc there like he, but he said he was going to be able to stop that. They said they were going to focus on only deporting undocumented criminals. Literally everyone and their mother, including people who were born here, have legal status here are being picked up, detained and deported. Um, what else has he like? He's just. He's just a fucking liar and his lies I like they're affecting so much, so many people, so many people's lives, and it's like you're really about to get us into a fucking war civil and like world war.

Daijné:

Like he lied about um israel. He said that america wasn't involved in the surprise attack from israel on iran. Um israel said, yeah, no, that's a fucking lie. Like you knew it was happening and you, low-key, helped us.

Daijné:

Like I hate this man and I hate, like I just want the absolute worst for him. He's just such a fucking like narcissist and he just needs attention and I'm so happy that his little fucking birthday parade that was supposed to be a military, that that was not a military parade, that was a parade for fucking trump. Actually that's been the peak of my week the fact that it was so shitty and the biggest thing that happened on that day was the no kings protest. Like those were record-breaking process around america, which I'm so happy about, and I'm like seeing pictures being compared from the military parade and then the no kings process, vastly different to the point where they were having to try to pay people to show up to the military parade. There was like craigslist, like job listing posted and they were looking for people to come and wear red hats we know exactly which hat they're fucking talking about. Um and like, essentially, be like the crowd for the military parade and I was seeing so many people online, be like, oh, like I was able to secure two spots, like I'm gonna be asleep in the uk, or like like people were securing tickets and then weren't, didn't have any plan to show up, which also happened.

Daijné:

When was that? I think it was 2016, when Trump was on the campaign trail, there was a rally I think it was in Tulsa, oklahoma, and so many people on TikTok like had signed up to go and be in attendance for the rally and then, like nobody showed up. That was why that actually was what kick-started his want for banning tiktok, and now, all of a sudden, he's trying to save it. Like he just can never stand on one single thing, because whenever he plans something or whenever he tries to do something, it's like based off of how he feels about that thing. Do you know what I mean? Like he was one who started the whole talk about tiktok and it being a threat to national security and now, all of a sudden, he's like oh, I, you know, was able to reach a lot of young people through TikTok and we gained the vote through TikTok. So like now he wants to save it. I hate him anyway. I don't remember where I was going with that.

Daijné:

Um, my thoughts are all over the place. I am so sorry. This episode, ugh, I like, because there's just too much going on. But oh, the war. So yeah, honestly, like I, I don't look good in camo. I, I can't.

Daijné:

Actually, let's start. Who should be drafted for this war? Up first, j-lo and her fans. Y'all are wreaking havoc and y'all love to disturb peace and I just feel like y'all need to be front lines on the battlefield. That's, that's first. Who we're gonna draft? Number two any man who was like, oh, in the fight of a hundred men versus a gorilla, the men would win. You need to be on the battlefield at the front lines for this war. The entire cast of jersey shore, namely jenny. I need, she needs to be on the battlefield. Actually, jersey shore baddies, bad girls club, like anyone who was ever on one of those shows or applied to be on one of those shows, I need y'all on the battlefield. Uh, trump supporters, every trump supporter, if you voted for trump, you need to be on the battlefield because this war is also you're doing so. I need you to be on the front lines as well. I feel like that's a good start. I feel like that's a decent amount of people. So, anyone if you were in any of the things that I mentioned, strap up your boots. We've got a mission for you. Oh, I can't. I really can't like bitch, not let's about to go to war.

Daijné:

And it's like we're the most unserious generation of people to send to war. And I feel like it's because, like especially people my age, like I'm a zillennial, I'm like I don't know what I am. I've been told I'm a millennial. I've been told I'm gen z. I've been told I'm a zillennial. I was born in 1995. So, but whatever it was for the people who were born in or around 1995, we have gone through so many historical events, like when we were five, six, it was 911. And then we had the recession, and then we had Trump's first term, covid, trump's second term.

Daijné:

Mind you, I'm probably missing stuff in between. Like we've been through so much and I feel like we're all just traumatized and we all cope with humor. So, like seeing people online talk about this war and like I'm seeing people like like make memes out of it, memes are like the worst and best thing in the world because like, yes, I love memes, they make me laugh and they're silly, but at the same time, it's like we're desensitizing ourselves like bitch, this is war and we're laughing about it. And it's like we have to laugh about it because if we don't laugh, we'll fucking cry. You know what I mean.

Daijné:

Like, but I'm seeing so many people like make memes about it and people are saying like, get ready with me for my first world war. Like we take nothing serious. We're a very unserious group of people. Us on the battlefield, we can't we. I don't know why I'm saying we, because I'm speaking french, I guess because I'm not going.

Daijné:

I would, honestly, if they said to me like, either go to war, go to jail, I think I would pick jail. They would have to catch me, though. Like I'm not just gonna go to Joe voluntarily, I'm definitely going on the run and y'all gonna have to find me. But um, yeah, can y'all just talk it out? Can y'all just talk it out? Or Beyonce, didn't Beyonce say that her and Jay-Z could calm a war down? Someone get in touch with Manager Blue, get Beyonce on the phone.

Daijné:

Like we need that. We need that right now because it's just getting really, really crazy and I just I'm sick. I'm sick and it's really like I've just been so low this week because there's just too much going on. I can't like. I really can't like. Every time I look on my phone, it's something new, he's doing something, he's saying something. Like I just and we're only like six months in bitch like I can't do this for another three and a half years. I really can't. I need somebody to get him out of office legally. I'm not. I'm not like saying anything crazy fbi, please don't come for me. I'm saying like I need congress to impeach him and get him out, but then we have to deal with fucking vans.

Daijné:

Actually, the whole administration just needs to be wiped out, because I'm also seeing a lot more people being like not people, but like news outlets being like the election may have not been clean, which I've said from the very beginning. I I will never believe that he won that election fair and square, especially all seven swing states. There's absolutely no way. I will never believe that he won all the swing states and also the popular vote, when he's never won the popular vote. In his first two elections, like with hillary clinton and with joe biden, he never won the popular vote. You're telling me that after all of that. Now, all of a sudden he's popular and people like him. I'm not buying it. Call it a jello concert ticket, because I'm not buying it.

Daijné:

But my question is what happens if it's shown that the election was rigged? Like we don't have, at least to my knowledge, a system in place on what to do if an election is actually stolen? I feel like it's because this is probably unprecedented and no one ever really thought that like this could happen. But like I think it happened. But like, what do we do about it? Like, does anybody do anything? Do we just say like, does anybody do anything? Do we just say like, oh yeah, he cheated and then he gets to stay in office? Like I need someone to step in and do something If he actually, if there's actual evidence that he did not win that election, someone should be stepping in and doing something Like what are we waiting for? I don't know Anyway, yeah, I don't know. I like what are we waiting for? I don't know anyway. Um, yeah, I don't know.

Daijné:

I feel like I need to do a mental health check-in and just see how everyone is doing. Um, because, like, this week has just been really, really weird for me and I just don't ever want to get on here and be like, yeah, I've had the great week and this is what made me smile, when I literally am like nothing has made me smile. I'm not ever gonna bullshit, I'm never gonna. This week's been rough for me, I don't know, and I feel like this past week maybe showed me that I'm not doing as much as I thought that I was doing to make sure that my mental health was okay, because I really felt like I was doing a good job with managing everything, with, like, making my content. Like I've said, like making content is a creative outlet for me and it's where I go to escape, but it is kind of I don't want to say contradictory, but it's kind of like a double-edged sword, because a lot of my content is political and me talking about social issues, you know. So it's like am I really ever giving myself a break? I felt like I was, but I feel like this week maybe I'm not doing as good as I thought I was doing, which I guess is like a good thing to realize that I need to be doing better.

Daijné:

I feel like I just need to figure out a better way to manage everything, because I do enjoy making my content and I do enjoy, you know, keeping you guys updated and making my videos and talking about what's going on in the world. I think it's very important, but, at the same time, like I need to make sure that my mental health is okay too. So I just need to figure out a way to balance everything and and make sure that I am actually okay, because I feel like this week really showed me like maybe I'm not doing as good of a job as I thought I was, um, so, yeah, we just have to figure that out. It's I think dealing with things like this is a lot of trial and error for everyone, myself included, and we just have to figure out since it doesn't seem like he's getting out of office anytime soon. We have to figure out how to balance everything and I feel like I just need to figure that out. So that's what I'm going to try and focus on, I guess, and figure out, because it's definitely important to make sure your mental health is okay. It's definitely important to make sure your mental health is is okay.

Daijné:

And I feel like right now, like I'm just really low and I literally like the fact that I can't find a single thing this week that made me feel happy is concerning for me, because like that's a slippery slope. I feel like and I just want to make sure that I'm okay and obviously I want you guys to be okay and we're all in this together not to get all high school musical on you. But, um, yeah, I just I wanted to be real. I was literally sitting here for like an hour and a half trying to figure out like what it is that I felt joy in this week, and the honest answer is like not much, like not not really anything. So I feel like j-lo probably paid an etsy witch. She probably did. That's what it was. Yeah, I blame j-lo. She definitely she paid an etsy witch or she like made a voodoo doll and she's like just has it. I don't know whatever she's doing to it. It's it's making my energy really low.

Daijné:

So I just got to figure out how to bounce back, and I know that I will. I've done it before and I could do it again. It's just like a matter of like doing it. You know what I mean. So, but I just wanted to do like a mental check-in and I hope everyone is doing okay and just remember to truly balance things. And I feel like sometimes we think we're doing a good job and then we realize, oh shit, like I'm not doing as good of a job as I thought I was doing, and I feel like I had that realization this past week, like, yeah, I just need to do more. I don't know, I don't know exactly what that thing is, but we're going to figure it out and we're going to do it.

Daijné:

So, anyway, I just wanted to make sure that you guys were all okay and remember to prioritize your mental health, and that is more important than anything. If you need to tune out for a little bit, do that. If there's something that you know really works for you, do that. And then there's also some times where things work and then, out of nowhere, all of a sudden, they don't work, and maybe that's what is happening with me too, like I don't know, I just have to figure it out.

Daijné:

But I didn't want to fake be happy or fake be like, yeah, this is what made me smile this week, when I know, deep down, like nothing really made me super happy this week. I just wanted to remind everyone that bad bitches have bad days too, megan. Megan said it best, so, um, but we're gonna bounce back, everything's gonna be okay and I hope all of you are doing well as well and just really prioritizing your mental health. So please tell me the peak of your week. If you had one, something that made you smile, kept you grounded, kept you sane in the chaos of the world, I would really, really really appreciate seeing those right now because, like, uh, I feel like I'm going through it and it just hasn't been a good week. So if something really made you smile this week, if something really brought you joy, please do share it with me Because, yeah, your girl is straight up not having a good time. Zero out of 10 would recommend.

Daijné:

So, anyway, speaking of the chaos of the world and things just like just having too much going on, I wanted to give you guys an update on Adriana Smith, who, if you are unfamiliar with is a black woman in Georgia who was declared brain dead in February. So she had gone to the hospital because she was having these really bad headaches and they gave her some medicine and sent her home. The next morning her boyfriend woke up to her struggling for air. He called an ambulance. He was rushed to the hospital and they found blood clots on her brain and she was declared brain dead.

Daijné:

This was in February again, and since February or up until at this point where I'm filming this, a couple days ago she was kept I don't know the alive isn't the right word, I don't know what the word is right now, but alive isn't the right word but they kept her on a ventilator because she was pregnant and essentially used her as an incubator to save the child. Because when she was declared brain dead in in february she was nine weeks pregnant and they cited the abortion law in in georgia being as though it's like basically a total ban and it's known as the heartbeat law. If a fetus has a heartbeat, an abortion is illegal and so they were keeping her on this ventilator to get her to a point in her pregnancy where they could safely take the baby out I don't want to say delivered, I don't feel like that's the right word. She did not deliver a baby. She did not give birth Because she was not alive to do any of those things. She was brain dead. Brain dead is clinically dead. If you are brain dead, nothing anyone does is going to bring you back. And a couple days ago they took the baby out of her. And a couple days ago they took the baby out of her. And now the baby is, I believe last I saw is in intensive care and is alive, and they've finally taken her off the ventilator and is making her family pay for the financial of all of this. She's been on a ventilator since February it's June All while this was not her family's wishes.

Daijné:

They did not want to keep her on a ventilator, but the doctor said that they didn't have a choice. It wasn't up to the family, it was up to them and they chose to do that. And I'm not gonna lie, like I was really kind of hoping for the baby not to survive and it sounds really bad when you say it out loud and when you first hear it, but like, hear me out, because I feel like this was a test. They were. They were trying to see if this would be a thing that they could do, if they could keep someone on a ventilator for so long and deliver a baby and it be successful makes me really worried for women and our reproductive rights and our reproductive autonomy and and our control and decisions over our own bodies.

Daijné:

We are in incredibly disgusting, dystopian times. This is literally an episode of the handmaid's tale. There's literally an episode of the handmaid's tale where they keep a woman on a ventilator to use her body as an incubator to have a baby. Like and this is happening in real life like this is. This isn't just a tv show anymore to show the the harms of it. This is now happening in real life and it just makes me so fucking disgusted because they want to claim like, oh, pro-life, like we just care about life.

Daijné:

This woman was alive and she went to the hospital because she was having headaches and y'all didn't give a fuck about her life. Y'all didn't test enough, y'all didn't do enough. You gave her medicine, sent her home, only for the next day her to be waking up gasping for air, and it found that she has blood clots on her brain and then kept her on a ventilator, making her an incubator and then her son who was already born. Her mother, her boyfriend, her family members have to see her like this. Do we care about their mental health, their lives? No, the whole focus was this fetus who she was nine weeks pregnant when she was declared brain dead. Clump of cells cannot survive on its own. That had more of a right to life and they cared more about that than this poor woman, her son, her mother, her boyfriend and her family.

Daijné:

Propaganda that I will never fucking fall for. Is this pro life? You guys do not give a fuck about people's real lives. You don't give a fuck because now this baby's here and if it continues to survive and it acts and it lives. Now that responsibility is on the family to raise this baby, on top of the medical expenses that have been piling up since she's been on a ventilator for so long, on top of the medical expenses that have been piling up since she's been on a ventilator for so long, on top of, now, funeral expenses because finally she's able to rest.

Daijné:

Like this is. It's just, it's incredibly unserious and it's so disgusting and disturbing that no one in that hospital was like yeah, like we shouldn't be doing this, and then they did it all under the guise of, oh, this total abortion, like ban in georgia, like we have no other choice. Lawmakers stepped in and said this this would not be considered an abortion. She was, she was dead. If, if I get into a car accident and I'm pregnant and I die and the fetus also dies, that's not an abortion.

Daijné:

And now they're like, they're trying to stretch these laws to like essentially, I feel like they tried to stretch the abortion law because they wanted to test. I think that they did this because they wanted to see if it would work. And now that it has worked, what does that mean for for women in our bodies and our futures we are? The reproductive rights are already like, they're already bad. They're about to go from bad to j-lo, like it's going to get so bad. And it's like I like to think like okay, we, we've reached hell. Like okay, this sucks, but like we finally reached the bottom, so we'll just have to wait it out for the next three and a half years. And then they open up a fucking vip section and they're like just kidding, here's this lower level that we're now going to escort you to. Like I'm over it, I, I'm so sick. It's just so disgusting and I just I'm so worried for especially for women in red states who did not vote for trump like I just can't really grapple with the fact that this is an actual thing. That actually happened.

Daijné:

And oh, I was, I'm not gonna lie I was hoping so much that it wouldn't work. I was hoping that, because it was, it was up in the air that the baby wasn't even going to survive because the baby had fluid on its brain and this woman's body is literally rotting because she's dead and so her body is rotting, so she's. She can't even fully like support a pregnancy, and so I was. I was hopeful that it would be an unsuccessful thing, and the fact that it was successful like what does this mean for for the future? It really really, really scares me and I just want everyone to be careful and safe and keep men away from you, if you can. Like oh my god, I cannot imagine being pregnant right now. Pregnancy is already like a life-threatening thing and the fact that now we have these laws, that even if you are no longer alive, they're still gonna make you an incubator I can't. I hope her family sues the fuck out of that hospital. I want that hospital to have to shut down because they're they just lose everything, because this is such a fucking disgusting. It's just so fucking disgusting.

Daijné:

It's like they really used the abortion ban as like a fallback whole time like it. It would not have been considered an abortion. She was brain dead, she was gone. That's not an abortion. If if you are dead like that can't be considered an abortion. And the fact that they use that as like a safety net, to use her as like a guinea pig or like a test, which is not anything that they haven't done before. Right Like in history, we know that black women have been tested on in science and in medicine and they're continuing to do it now, in 2025, and using the abortion ban as like a scapegoat or like a safety net. The abortion ban as like a scapegoat or like a safety net.

Daijné:

We live in really really fucking disgusting times and it's so disgusting to see it's 2025, the fact that we're even still having these conversations, the fact that the right has been able to make things like basic human rights, the want for people to be able to live and not be homeless and have food and different things like that, the fact that they have made those things radical and they've made those things political is the most disgusting and scary thing ever. Like me wanting a right to my own body and to make choices on my own body and you're like, no, we're not going to let you do that. We're going to leave it up to the states to tell you what you can do. Excuse the fuck out of me. I beg your finest fucking pardon. Like, and the thing that pisses me off so much is that if roles were reversed, if men were the ones who had babies, they would be handing out abortions at the fucking cvs for free, like they would never police men the way that they police women. And it is this the most disgusting thing. Oh, it makes me so angry every time I think about it, because it's just like if roles were reversed, abortions would be like halloween candy, just passing those bitches out. You know what I mean. It's just really gross and it's really disgusting and I and I'm just scared.

Daijné:

There was a time where I was so happy about, potentially one day, being a mom. I've've always loved kids. I've always gravitated towards children and love working with them, and so the thought of having little humans who are half me and half the man that I love. Like that was such an amazing thought and something that I always wanted. And now it's just like I, I think I'm okay, I think I think we're good. Like I, I think I'm okay, I think I think we're good, I think we're, we're gonna, at least for the next three and a half years. Yeah, we're gonna.

Daijné:

We're gonna not do that because I just can't. I can't, first of all, I'm I'm worried about myself and my own rights to my own body. But also like first, because like I'm worried about myself and me being able to control what I do and don't do with my body, but also like bringing a child into the world right now, in this political climate and this economy, like zero out of 10 would not recommend and I'm not not trying to say, you know, people who are having kids right now are wrong or bad. This is just my personal opinion. I feel like right now, for me to bring a child into the world would be incredibly selfish and incredibly just not a smart idea. That's just me. Again, I'm not, don't, don't jump me y'all. I'm not saying that's for everybody. For me, personally, it just is not a good idea. So I don't know, I just need.

Daijné:

Something has to change. Like it's like how much is going to happen before something actually changes? We're about to go to fucking war, a civil and a world war. Like women are losing what little rights we have to our bodies literally by the fucking day. Like I just I can't. It's just very disheartening and very dystopian and I'm really tired of living through things that I know that they're gonna talk about in the future. Like I'm tired of living through historical events like can we just like rest for a second? I think we all just need to go to our own corners and just sit and think for a second. Like we all just need to stop interacting with one another. We need to just step back, cool off and maybe come back at a later time when that time is, I don't know, but right now, everyone just needs to go to their own respective corners and leave everyone else alone, because it's just too much going on and it's so overwhelming and I just I can't. It's just too fucking much is going on. As we wrap up today's episode.

Daijné:

Women, especially black women, please protect yourselves. Please just like be selfish. My, my biggest want for black women right now is to be selfish. Make everything all about you because, at the end of the day, there's no safe space for black women. There is really no safe space in life or in fucking death, like there's just really no safe space. And it's so frustrating and it's so disheartening and so dystopian and I just just, please, protect yourself. Do whatever you have to do. Be selfish. The the love and the care and the respect and just everything that you try to give everyone else. Give that to yourself. Focus on yourself, be selfish. Just make sure you're okay, because, at the end of the day, the only person who's going to make sure that you are okay is you. So just make sure that you're good, above everything else, whatever that means. Just make sure that you're good, and I say that for all women, especially in the political climate right now. But I just really want to make sure that. I pinpoint especially to black women, because we have always been expected to sacrifice ourselves for everyone else. We have to. We need to be selfish, we need to take time for ourselves and do what is best for us. So please, black women, protect yourself, protect your mental health, do whatever you got to do, but just make sure you are putting you first.

Daijné:

Thank you guys for tuning in to today's episode. I hope everyone is having a good day except for that orange chick lady, and I will talk to you in the next episode. Peace and love. Talk to you later. The napkin in between, hosted by Daijné Jones, produced by Daijné Jones, post-production by Daijné Jones, music by Sam Champagne and graphics by Isma Vidal. Don't forget to like and subscribe. See you next episode.