The Napkin In Between
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The Napkin In Between
Love Island, Hate Machine: Black Women and Reality TV Villains
The villainization of Black women in media isn't new, but the recent treatment of Love Island USA contestants Chelley and Olandria offers a powerful case study in how this harmful pattern continues today.
When major outlets like Time Magazine and Buzzfeed deliberately misrepresent situations to fit the "angry Black woman" narrative, we must call it what it is: racism. Time Magazine twisted Chelley's perfectly healthy communication (recognizing she was too emotional for a productive conversation) into "toxic interruption" – while later in the same article praising this exact behavior as healthy! The hypocrisy is stunning but unsurprising.
What's particularly heartbreaking is seeing how many people – including other Black women – fell into this carefully crafted trap. When we villainize Black women for expressing their feelings once, while granting endless chances to others who display problematic behavior repeatedly, we're perpetuating the same double standards that have harmed Black women for generations.
Reality TV isn't just entertainment; it's a reflection of our society's values. Production teams construct narratives with protagonists and antagonists, and Black women are too often forced into villain roles because it's the "easiest" stereotype to sell. One moment of justified frustration becomes "who they really are," while weeks of patience and grace are forgotten.
On the flip side, what makes couples like Nicolandria and Chellace so compelling is seeing Black women being loved loudly and proudly. When Nick and Ace openly adore Olandria and Chelley, they're countering the harmful narratives that too often define Black women's existence.
For those with platforms – we must be more careful about the narratives we amplify. Before you speak, ask yourself: Is it true? Is it helpful? Could my words be twisted to harm others? Let's commit to recognizing these patterns and refusing to participate in them.
Is this thing on? Hello, hello. Uh oh, another yapper with a mic. Hello everyone, and welcome back to the Napkin in between podcast. I am your host, Daijné Jones. I hope everyone has been having a good week, except for that orange chick lady, of course. I have been having a great week, except for that orange chick lady, of course. I have been having a great week and I feel like I feel like I'm going insane, a little bit like. I feel like a little bit like an addict. Actually, let's do a quick aa meeting, okay, hello, my name is Daijné and I am addicted to Nicolandria. Guys, it am, guys, it's bad. It's bad.
Daijné:This is the first time that I ever feel like I've been too invested into people that I don't know. Like, I feel like I'm being parasocial, but at the same time, I know that I'm not being parasocial, because if I were being parasocial then I wouldn't be able to say, like this is parasocial. I feel like when people are parasocial, they don't realize it and they say like and do weird things, and it's like, that's weird. You shouldn't do that. Like I, I'm not really being parasocial, I'm just like keeping up with everything that they do. Okay, maybe I am being parasocial, see, I don't know. But like I'm not like doing anything like weird, you know what I mean like I'm just like reading all of their articles and thank god Nick is is chronically online, as all of us are because I feel like there's a couple reasons I'm so locked in and and seeing what they're doing. Number one I feel like we just watched an entire season of nick and alandria's interactions. I say in coolest, because they were fucking crumbs. Like initially they weren't together, they weren't coupled up, they were just friends trying to convince themselves, not anybody else. But then, once they got together, it was like production was cutting their scenes and we were only seeing a little bit of them even still. So, I feel like we've survived off of crumbs for the past month and a half. And now nick, who is very chronically online, he's just like feeding us, like we've. We've gone from surviving off of crumbs to getting like thanksgiving meals. You know, from surviving off of crumbs to getting like thanksgiving meals, you know what I mean. And so I'm like, yes, I need all of it, like I need to, I need to take it all in.
Daijné:But I also feel like I'm so tuned in to nicolandria because, like, I'm seeing a black woman finally be loved. Do you know what I mean? And it's like I I relate to alandria so much, like I I think she said in like one of her interviews for the past five years she's just been like in her masculine energy and just like not really letting anybody in, not letting down her walls, being like very like hard exterior, but now she's able to be like soft and more feminine and doesn't have to do anything in nick's presence and he's like opening water bottles, like she doesn't have to do anything. She said that she can turn her brain off and that's what I want for all women, but especially black women, because we don't get to do that a lot. We really don't get to do that a lot. And I thought that you know, I talked about them in my last episode and I was like I'm just gonna do one podcast episode on them and then like, move on, I'm still at the restaurant, I'm I'm like stuck here and Nick is like not, he's like holding us hostage at this point he, because he's feeding us so well and I'm seeing this woman just like be able to be taken care of and like I just I love to see it and like I can't look away and I'm like, fuck this, like I've just never been this invested in other people's lives, like ever. I've never considered myself a stan of anyone. I've never, you know, kept up with anyone as much as I'm keeping up with Nicolandria, and I'm just like I really need to touch grass, but like Nick's like no, don't touch grass. Like look, here's another update, here's here's what we're doing, here's Elandria you know what I'm saying. So it's like and I just love seeing a black woman be loved and also, of course, keeping up with Nick Alandria. They've been my couple since day one.
Daijné:I literally I went back because I, as I was watching Love Island, I was doing reviews of every episode and so I was like when did I? When did I clock Nick and Alandria? Like when did I say? Like, oh, I, I like them. You know what I mean. And I mean and it was episode one. It was episode one I said in my first ever recap like, oh, I want to see more of Nick and Alandria. And now I'm getting what I asked for. I manifested this, I prayed for times like this. You know what I mean. I also love seeing Shelly and Ace, because they just came back to the internet after taking a little break, which we'll get to in a second.
Daijné:That's what we're going to talk about today. But I just love seeing two black women like be loved on. I love. I love a man who's chalant Like fuck the non-chalant shit. If you like me, let me know and let me know loudly. And that's what Nick and Alandria. I'm sorry that's what nick and alandria, I'm sorry that's what nick and ace are doing. They're just loving their women very loudly and I love that. I love that.
Daijné:And especially after seeing alandria with taylor initially and the way that she put herself out there and it was like not reciprocated at least from what we saw, I know like production cut a lot of what he was doing and it makes her look like delusional and like she's chasing him, which I just know that she would absolutely never do. That production was very weird. This season again, we'll get into that in a little bit. But after seeing that and then now seeing nick, just like first of all we saw him all season yearning for her right and now we're seeing him like treat her exactly how she should be treated I just can't look away. It's definitely it's been the peak of my week of just seeing these two black women be loved on so fiercely and so loudly and it's just.
Daijné:It just makes me so happy, especially segwaying into what we're going to talk about today, seeing all the hate that they're receiving from people, from brands, because they spoke about their feelings and were valid and how they felt, and seeing, like, their backlash and the racism and the hate that they faced. I just hope that the love from their friends, from their family, from Nick, from Ace, from their fans, from everyone, is just truly overpowering that, because it has been insane to see, especially with shelly like there's literally brands, huge corporations, sending this woman hate and it's like, are y'all fucking cool? Like first we had buzzfeed, they posted a carousel of photos of like what I would feed the islanders and it was like, first we had buzzfeed, they posted a carousel of photos of like what I would feed the islanders and it was like, as we know with love island, usually when they wake up, the girls go to do their makeup and the guys are in the kitchen making them breakfast. So they were saying, like what they would feed all of the girls breakfast. I think it was shelly, alandria, hudda, iris and amaya, and you know, everyone was getting a normal breakfast, but for shelly they put that they would feed her a knuckle sandwich. Are y'all cool, like? What the fuck is going on? That is so insane to me when you like really think about it. Like, why are we perpetuating violence against a black woman? Hello, are we? Are we being for real right now? Be so fucking for real, like and it the way the media wants to villainize black women truly needs to be studied. They go to so many lengths to villainize black women and to make black women these negative stereotypes. Like, for example, time Magazine. Also, they posted a carousel talking about common toxic communication styles that we saw in season seven and one of the things that they highlighted was toxic interruptions and they said, as the first example they said they said oh, remember when, after the heart rate challenge, huda was trying to apologize to shelly and shelly told huda to save it first and foremost. That's not at all what the fuck happened. Shelly didn't tell huda to save it at all. What they? They got that from when alandria was being dumped from casa and zach was like, oh, can I talk to you? And alandria said save your words.
Daijné:So, first and foremost, mixing up the only two black women on the show, dark-skinned black women. Let's be serious. Like, first of all, they look nothing alike. Yeah, they're both dolls, but alandria is a barbie and shelly is a brat. Like, let's be serious, let's be serious, so that's, that's number one. Just mixing up the two, two black women on the show is fucking crazy. Second of all, that's not even what shelly said. So they were called out. For you know, like shelly never said save it to hudda, so they changed it and they said that shelly had said they still said that it was a toxic interruption and said that shelly cut Huda off mid-sentence as she was trying to apologize and said no, no, no, we'll talk tomorrow Again, that's not what the fuck happened.
Daijné:What happened is after the heart rate challenge, when Huda did whatever she did we didn't see it because of course, production cut it Huda pulled Shelly and said you know, can we have a chat? At first, shelly said sure, let's have a chat. They're starting to walk to the day beds to have a chat. Neither one of them is speaking. And then shelly turns and says actually, you know what I'm aggravated, I'm irritated, I don't want to say anything out of emotion. So let's just talk tomorrow. Hudda says, okay, love you. Shelly says love you too. They go their separate ways.
Daijné:Is that not healthy communication? Is it not healthy communication to to check your own emotions and be like listen, you know what I'm feeling, a type of way, and I don't want to say anything that I don't necessarily mean, so let's just come back at another time. Is that not healthy communication? Mind you, I didn't read the full article from time magazine because once I saw that I was just like not interested. But someone had commented and said that in their article.
Daijné:They then go on to to talk about healthy forms of communication, and one of them is recognizing when you're too upset to have a conversation and letting yourself cool off before having a conversation. So the very thing that shelly did that they're trying to villainize her for and say that this is a toxic communication pattern. They then turned around and used that example as a healthy communication pattern, but in their, in their carousel on instagram, they twist it in a way to try to make it look like shelly did everything right in that situation. She checked herself, checked her emotions and was like you know what? Yeah, I'm not ready for this conversation.
Daijné:But instead of highlighting that instead of using that as a way to say like, oh, this is healthy communication, which you said later on in the article, you twist it because that better fits the mean girl, bully, angry black woman narrative that's already been spiraling for weeks. Mind you, they just posted this time magazine posted this just this week when the whole thing between hudda and shelly weeks ago shows, rap shows over productions closed but y'all are still trying to make shelly this crazy, angry villain. Like the way the media will take a situation where a black woman did exactly what she was supposed to do and exhibited positive, healthy communication and they'll twist it to further push out these crazy negative stereotypes against black women is fucking crazy. Like that is insane to me. And it's like this is supposed to be just a fun little show, a fun little show that we watch of people trying to explore connections, maybe some drama here and there. But it's like they try to run this reality tv show as like a movie, like a fiction movie. You know what I mean and you know the there's parts of a fiction movie. There's a protagonist and antagonist, like all that stuff. So they're trying to instead of just letting people go, and I promise if they just let people it's reality tv, right, it's strangers who don't really know each other that well, there's, there's gonna be drama.
Daijné:But they try to force drama. And they try to force this like villain to fit the parts of a story. Because I feel like a lot of people when I've learned this a lot at this past watching love island they don't. They can't separate reality from fiction or like when something actually happens versus when it was like cut and manipulated and twisted to fit a certain storyline. Do you know what I mean? And so production, they're trying to to build this storyline and all these characters from these real people who are gonna come out and experience like backlash or whatever, from the things that they're carefully crafting. But because they feel like they need to fit every part of a storyline, they're like oh, we need a protagonist, we need an antagonist, and instead of just allowing things to flow naturally and to show us exactly what happened in the way that it happened, they twist it.
Daijné:And the easiest person to make the villain is a black woman, because black women are already the least protected. Black women's feelings are always invalidated. Black women, you know, are always held to a different standard that other people are held to, and so it's easy to make a black woman a villain. All you have to do is twist it a little bit and people brands whoever will run rampant with it. It's the easiest thing in the world and it makes me so upset that so many people fell for it. First of all, trump's America, right? So I'm not like I'm not surprised that so many people fell for it, I guess.
Daijné:But what's really been disappointing is to see how many black people fell for it, to see how many black people were villainizing Shelly, calling her an Alandria bully, calling them mean girls I've seen people say that Shelly is a her and Alandria bullies, calling them mean girls. I've seen people say that Shelly is a narcissist, like just the craziest fucking shit. And it just. It really is disappointing because, especially with the, the other black women that I have seen villainize Shelly and make her out to be this terrible person. Because, like they're talking about you too right, you know what I mean. Like sure, they're using Shelly as the example for this mean girl, bully, angry black woman stereotype that they're pushing, but they feel that same way about you.
Daijné:If you were in that situation and you responded how Shelly did which was completely valid of realizing, hey, I'm not in a good position to have this conversation and then, like, express your feelings. They would say the same thing about you. They would say that you're a bully. They would say that you're mean. They would. They would villainize you just as much as they're villainizing shelly, and it's it. It makes me so upset because I feel like people are still, to this day, purposely missing shelly's point. People are still like, oh well, why wasn't she mad at Ace? Why didn't she say anything to Ace? Because it was about the friendship. It was about Huda and Shelly's friendship and the standards that Huda had set when she was with Jeremiah. But she didn't turn around and have that same respect for Shelly.
Daijné:Now that it was Shelly and Ace who had that strong connection which I think we saw, maybe why, and it was made more sense of in Huda's Call Her Daddy interview um, I didn't watch the interview because I'm least interested. I'm as little interested in what Huda has to say as I am into what JLo's music. You know what I mean. So I didn't watch the interview but I've seen clips here and there and I guess Huda said that at one point she, you know she found Ace attractive and you know, she someone that he was, someone that she liked, and that makes the heart rate challenge even fucking worse, because I was already side-eyeing the whole. Oh, I'm bringing Chris back to explore you, but also I'm going to explore him too.
Daijné:I said in one of my recap videos, when the episodes were coming out, I was like, did she do that to kind of try and turn shelly's head because she was interested in ace? And then I was like, or am I being like crazy? I, I just. This is why I always trust my gut. I swear it's never failed me. I've never. I don't, I won't say never, but most of the time, no, actually maybe I should say never because, like I feel like I, my gut has never failed me, my intuition, that spirit of discernment, like I just I peep shit. And I was vindicated Because like, yeah, like, and that's the crazy thing too is like, why would Huda choose Ace for that Of all these men sitting here?
Daijné:You said that at one point you were interested in pepe. Brian was not single, he was with andreina at the time, but like I feel like he that was. I think that was when they were starting to pull away from each other and not really be as interested in one another. Or even chris chris was there too, so you could have done that to crit, like, why would you do that to ace? I just don't it. It just never made sense to me. But after watching that I'm like, okay, the pieces are, the pieces of the puzzle are finally fitting together. I'm, I'm seeing it. I'm seeing, I'm seeing it. I'm seeing your, your manipulative shit. I'm seeing it. It's making more sense.
Daijné:And then you have people who will say, oh, that, but that was just a challenge. It was a heart rate challenge, like she was supposed to do her big ones. But then we'll turn around and say that alandria is a mean girl and messy because during the stand on business challenge she shared about the kiss between chris and hudda and the speakeasy, and it's like, was that not just a challenge? Was it not the challenge to air your grievances and like, get everything out of there? You see what I'm saying.
Daijné:So it's like this is what I mean when I say that black women are held to a different standard and they're held to rules and regulations that other people are not held to, because for one, it's just a challenge and that was the point of the challenge. But for the other, she's a mean girl, bully and she shouldn't have done that. But for the other, she's a mean girl, bully and she shouldn't have done that. You see what I'm saying and that's why I feel like it's so disappointing, because I know that, especially as a dark skinned, black woman, I know that there have been times where your feelings were invalidated, where people jumped to conclusions, where people ran with shit, and now you're doing it to Shelly.
Daijné:And also I feel like we're forgetting that words mean things. Right, like people are like oh my God, shelly is this bully and Alandria is a bully. They're mean girls, they're bullies. Do we know what the word bully means? A bully is someone who does something reoccurringly over time antagonizing, intimidating somebody else. Right, shelly and Alandria had one grievance with Huda, one grievance at in one time, and they spoke their minds about it in a very calm way. They weren't trying to antagonize her, they literally were just expressing their feelings and they were immediately labeled bullies. Y'all don't know what words mean. Y'all don't know what words mean, because if we're gonna label anybody a bully on this season, I fear it's hudda.
Daijné:She multiple times called bombshells, bitches, called them all out of their names, said that they weren't girls, girls. She publicly went after iris, after jeremiah picked, picked iris in the door challenge, like the only bully was huda. But of course it was easy to make shelly and alandria the bullies because they knew that all they had to do was do one little thing, tweak one little situation and people were gonna run with it. And it's crazy and like. That's why I get so upset seeing so many black people villainize shelly and alandria mainly shelly because it's like y'all know, y'all, y'all know, I know that especially some of the people that I've seen who have called shelly and alandria mean girls, know, you know that you, your feelings, have been invalidated, you know that labels and stereotypes have been pushed onto you that aren't true and so for you to turn around and do that to them after one situation, I it's like I know that this is just supposed to be a cute little reality TV show, but it's, it's just a reflection of actual reality.
Daijné:It is a reflection of reality and it and it really bothers me when people are like, oh, it has nothing to do with race, like people were calling shelly and elandria mean girls because they were mean. It didn't have anything to do with race. This is love island, usa, usa, the united states of america, the country that was built off the black backs of black people, the country that every single thing racism is embedded into it, because it is woven into our society. You're gonna tell me in that country that this has nothing to do with race. Be so for real. Be so for real. I know in. I know you're smarter than that. I know that people who are saying that are smarter than that. Because here's the thing Unpopular opinion maybe.
Daijné:I don't know if this is controversial to say Maybe it is. This is how I feel. I'm open to you. Know, if somebody disagrees with me and wants to explain it to me in another way, please do. Somebody disagrees with me and wants to explain it to me in another way, please do.
Daijné:But I feel like racists are always looking for a reason to be racist, whether that's out loud, whether that's quietly. They're they're always looking for, they're just waiting for a reason. You know what I mean. And seeing so many black people come out and villainize Shelly and make her this mean girl bully, I'm not blaming black people for racism. I would never blame black people for racism, because black racism was started by white people and you know those are the main perpetuators of racism. However, I do think that there are times that black people can aid in the perpetuation of racism, whether that be against other minorities and communities, whether that be against ourselves.
Daijné:I feel like there are times when black people help to uplift racism and I feel like when so many black people were speaking out against Shelly, the light was already green for the negative stereotypes against Shelly. Right, like, racists will always figure out a way to be racist. They already have that green light. But I think, with so many black people coming out and also saying like, yeah, shelly's a bully, shelly's a mean girl, whatever, it made that light a little bit greener. You know what I mean. Like, racists are always looking for an excuse to be racist, and seeing so many black people villainize shelly, I feel like it. It helped a little bit. I'm I really do.
Daijné:I feel like it and I'm not saying that you have to fully agree with shelly or how she handled it. I feel like if we're giving one person grace, we got to give every person grace. You know what I mean, and I feel like that was the one time that shelly had an issue and it was immediately no grace. This is who she is. She's a mean girl. You know what I mean. Same thing with alandria. Like she was so patient when it came to taylor, even though he played in her fucking face bad as fuck. But the one time she crashed out and I'm not, she didn't even crash out, her feelings were fucking valid. He played in her face and she she clocked it right. But the one time she finally let taylor have it, cussed him out a little bit. People are like oh, finally we're seeing the real alandria. This is who she actually is and it's like we've seen her be poised and gracious and classy all season, but the one time we see her finally get angry, that's who she really is. That's who Alandria really is. Y'all are never beating the allegations. You see her be angry one time and that's who she really is. Be so fucking serious, and that's what I mean.
Daijné:People are always waiting for a way and an excuse and a reason to push these negative stereotypes onto black women and the amount of black people, especially black women, who came out and villainized Shelly and Elandria. It made that light a little bit greener, and I'm not saying that you had to fully agree with the way Shelly and Elandria handled the situation. Maybe you feel like they should have went about it a different way. You're entitled to that opinion but like, let's give them a little bit of grace. You know what I mean and I've had conversations with people and like, trying to say that like we're giving everyone else grace, why not give these two people grace too? And it's just like people were just not listening, not having it, didn't want, like immediately went to villainizing them. And that's just so fucking weird to me, because it's the same people who are saying give hud a grace. It's the same people who don't want to give shelly and elandria grace. And it's weird. It's weird. And we, I know why. It's just racism, it's racism.
Daijné:And then there's some people like, oh, it's not racism. Yes, the fuck it is. Because why are we giving one woman chance after chance after chance to give her redemption arc and to show that she's grown, but when it's shelly and alandria, y'all immediately want to write them off. You will not jail a level gaslight me. It is fucking racism, I don't give a fuck.
Daijné:And again, the media is always looking for a villain. They're always looking for someone who they can paint in a negative light, because that is, in some ways, what gets the views right the drama, the villain, villain, the whatever. And it's so easy to make black women the villain because we're already not given any grace. So, yeah, to see so many black people, especially black women, come out and immediately villainize shelly and alandria and immediately call them mean girls, bullies and whatever, you, you made that light a little bit greener, and you might not want to admit to it, but at the the end of the day, like you did, I just think maybe we should be a little bit more cautious of the things that we're saying, especially when we have platforms.
Daijné:And myself too, there's been things in the past that I've done where I was like I felt like it was good in the moment, I felt like I was doing something that was helpful, but then, looking back on it, I'm like it was good in the moment. I felt like I was doing something that was helpful, but then, looking back on it, I'm like maybe that was more hurtful than helpful. You know what I mean. Like there was this thing when I was in like elementary school. One of my teachers had this thing on the wall and it was like, before you speak. I can't remember all of the things, but the top two was like is it true and is it helpful?
Daijné:I feel like when you have a platform, you have to really really take those things into consideration Because, number one, people lack media literacy. And number two, when you're posting online, you might want your post to go to a certain demographic, but it's going to go wherever it takes it. You know what I mean. Like there are so many different types of people online people who have media literacy, people who don't, people who you know have different beliefs and thoughts and ideologies than you. So you could, you can say something and you can mean it one way, but you have to understand and remember that someone could take that thing that you're saying and the way that they interpret it could be completely different from the way that you meant it or the way that you wanted it to be interpreted. You know what I mean. So when you're posting, you know your think pieces or whatever about shows or people or whatever.
Daijné:I think we just all need to be a little bit more cautious and and think a little bit more about what's the overall thing that if I post this saying could it cause harm? Could it be taken in a way that I don't necessarily mean it to be taken, could it aid in, you know, the perpetuation of racism or misogynoir or you know whatever. And that's that's another reason why I try not to engage in the diaspora wars when it comes to, like, the different black diasporas, because, like, at the end of the day, I'm shooting myself in the foot by participating in this diaspora war, because infighting amongst black people was created by white people and white supremacy to uphold white supremacy, to keep us fighting each other rather than fighting the actual oppressor. So, at the end of the day, it's like, whenever I feel like personally, whenever people participate in diaspora wars, it's like you're cutting off your nose to spite your face. You're shooting yourself in the foot because you're literally just harming yourself more. You're not really helping in the grand scheme of things, like it might make you feel better at the moment, but in the long run, you're hurting yourself and you're hurting others who look like you, like they're gonna look at both of us, no matter what black diaspora you're in, they're gonna look at both of us and call us the hardy are. So it's like what are we? What are we fighting for? You know what I mean, and so I just want people to be just a little bit more cautious and I'm not, and unfortunately, everyone's entitled to their own opinion but I just think that we just need to be a little more cautious of our opinions and if it's genuinely helpful Because, again, sometimes when you share that opinion, like you're hurting yourself too and you might not realize it in the moment, but you're hurting yourself too, especially with things that push negative stereotypes against black women, like they think that about you as well, the same thing that you're saying about this other black woman. Like they, they also think that about you. So I just think that we just have to remember how big the internet is and everyone on the internet has different thought processes, ideologies, beliefs, and so they're gonna take it the way that they want to and they're gonna take it and fucking run with it, and we've seen that, especially with Shelly, like I.
Daijné:It literally makes me sick to my stomach that people not people, brands are villainizing this woman, are coming after this woman, are twisting her words to fit a narrative that literally like she did nothing wrong in that situation. Literally like she did nothing wrong in that situation. Time magazine. I hope she sues honestly like that's not what happened. They purposely twisted it to try to make it look like she did something wrong and then later on said like oh, this is a form of healthy communication and it was literally exactly what shelly did. It makes me sick and I hope that for shelly and elandria, like, the love outweighs all of the the negative that they're seeing. It makes me sick.
Daijné:I saw, of course, I was reading an interview that Nick and Alandria did, and Alandria was talking about how she saw that George Floyd photo of someone who had photoshopped her face onto George Floyd and then Huda's face onto Derek Chauvin, like when Derek Chauvin's knee was on George Floyd's neck. I hate that she saw that. I hate that she saw that and I just thank God for Nick because she said that he, if she gets too in her head about comments and stuff, he'll literally take her phone from her and like I love that. I love that he is stepping in and not allowing her to get in her head and taking all that hate, because it's like they so don't deserve it. This, this, the Shelly and Alandria hate, is actually so fucking forced. It's so forced and I just hope that the love that they're seeing from their friends, their family, nick Ace, their fans, whoever. I just hope that that is truly outweighing any and all of the hate that they they're experiencing or might see and again.
Daijné:In regards to the hate, I just hope that you know, as we run up to today's episode, I just want us to all like process thoughts a little bit more, like let's just think a little bit more about what we're putting out and how it could be twisted and perceived and and perpetuate hate against people and racism, because it's like, yeah, maybe you didn't fully understand, or like the way that shelly and elandria went about some of the things that they did in the villa, but you have to remember, number one highly edited show, so we're not really understanding the full grasp of their emotions. Number two they don't get to sleep a lot. They're filming all the time. They have no connections to the outside world, their families, their friends, the people who truly know them to process things that are going on. So of course, everyone's emotions are going to be heightened. So let's just give them a little bit of grace, let's allow them, the same way, we're trying to allow other people to make mistakes, which truly blows my mind, because some of the mistakes that huda made. It's like maybe that's not just a mistake, that might just be your character being as though these things are recurring.
Daijné:And number two, some of the mistakes that she made mistakes I say in quotes shouldn't be given grace for the fact that she tried to coerce chris into having sex with her, and no one is really taking that seriously, no one's really talking about it, no one is holding her accountable for that is really fucking weird to me. It's really crazy. And to see people still be like, oh, she deserves, you know this or that she deserves great. She sexually harassed him like that is sexual harassment. That man went into sleep and she's broken and prodding him, trying to convince him to have sex with her that is sexual harassment. What? What are we talking about? But y'all will see that and still want to give her grace and let her learn from her mistakes. But shelly and alandria made one mistake I say in quotes because I don't think that they did anything wrong. But if y'all, like everyone, has different interpretations, so if you want to say that they made a mistake, okay, but y'all won't give them any grace for that, y'all won't let them learn and grow the same way that you're trying to let this woman who sexually harassed a man, who was verbally abusive to multiple people, you want to give her grace.
Daijné:We live in a weird time, man. We live in weird fucking times and it's it's getting spooky out here. It's, it's real spooky. But I just think we all need to be a little bit more cautious of the media and how they like to portray black women and I feel like it was a carefully crafted trap and people that I would not ever in a million years expect to fall into it. I'm seeing fall into it and I'm just like it's really crazy. It's really weird and I'm just like this is spooky.
Daijné:I just don't know what's going on, but I just hope that, moving forward, let's just all think a little bit more about the things that we're putting out there and the way that the media and people will twist them to further push negative stereotypes onto black women. So that's just what I hope we will all do moving forward, especially people like it's making me second guess if some of y'all really deserve platforms like do y'all really deserve to have people listen to you? I don't know, because it's like when you have a platform like it, you have to be so careful, and I'm I'm learning this myself too, so I'm not like just saying this for other people, this is for me as well. When you have a platform, you don't know, like yeah, you might have your core audience who sees your things and who understands and can add nuance and different things like that. But the shit that you say has, especially on tiktok has the potential to go viral to so many people and they're going to take what you say either at face value and not add any nuance to it, or they're going to interpret it in a way that best fits their beliefs and ideologies and thoughts and feelings. So it's like we just have to be so cautious and so careful of, like, genuinely, what we're saying and what we're putting out there, because we have no idea who's going to take that thing and twist it. It could be people, it could be brands like you just don't know. So I just think that we all should just be a little bit more careful and cautious and let's just have the same rules apply to everyone. If we're going to give one person grace, we need to be given every person grace, and that's just. That's just how it should be, and the fact that it's not that way is absolutely rooted in racism, and racists are always looking for that green light. They already have that green light, but they're looking for ways that they can make that light a little greener. So I just think that we should all just be a little cautious and a little bit careful about the things that we're saying, because, number one, it fits into a stereotype that is pushed on to black women, which very much includes the black women who are doing these things that push these negative stereotypes. So let's just all be a little bit more careful. That's, that's the moral of the story. Thank you guys, so much for watching today's episode. I hope everyone is having a good day, except for that orange lady.
Daijné:I hope shelly and alandria are experiencing way more love than any of the hate. Um, nick, continue to take alandria's phone if you need to ace. He already said he let us know early. I'll crash out about shelly. So and honestly, like I'm scared of ace and nick because I know both of them, like we haven't really seen either one of them angry or raise their voice or anything, but I know that if they get to that point, sheesh, I'm scared. So y'all, y'all, y'all chill because Ace and Shelly I'm sorry Ace and Nick do not play about Shelly and Alandria Don't play, and I love that for them. I love seeing the love that Alandria and Shelly are getting and I just hope that it fully outweighs the hate. I love that for them. I love seeing black girls be loved and that's why I'm justifying my parasocialness to them right now, because I'm not being parasocial, I'm just loving seeing a black woman be loved. So that's my final thoughts and no further questions at this time.
Daijné:Thank you so much for watching today's episode. I hope us at this time. Thank you so much for watching today's episode. I hope everyone is having a good day except for that orange lady, and I will talk to you in the next episode. Peace and love. Talk to you later. The napkin in between, hosted by Daijné Jones, produced by Daijné Jones, post-production by Daijné Jones, music by Sam Champagne and graphics by Isma Vital. Don't forget to like and subscribe. See you next episode.