The Napkin In Between

I Fell For A Scam!!!!!

• Daijné Jones • Season 1 • Episode 34

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Something strange happens when we spend too much time scrolling through feeds, watching reality shows, and following strangers online. We forget the line between entertainment and reality. The imaginary relationships we build with public figures start feeling real, and suddenly we're fighting like our lives depend on defending people who don't know we exist.

This episode dives deep into the disturbing trend of parasocial relationships through the lens of recent Love Island drama. What should be light entertainment has morphed into something darker, with fans resorting to racist attacks to defend their favorite contestants – often while claiming to fight against racism themselves. The cognitive dissonance is staggering, and it reveals just how disconnected we've become from healthy human interaction.

I share my own experience finding peace by disconnecting from screens while spending time in The Hamptons with my nanny kids. The simple joy of jumping on trampolines, swimming for hours, and feeling grass beneath my feet provided the mental refreshment we all desperately need. Social media has been life-changing for me as a content creator, but it's also becoming "a cancer to society" when it drives us to develop unhealthy attachments to strangers.

When fans actively hope for couples to break up just to validate their opinions, or when they can't fathom that someone like Nic might genuinely like someone like Olandria without assuming it's a "scam," we've crossed into dangerous territory. The solution is remarkably simple, though increasingly difficult: disconnect, put down the phone, and touch grass. Support the people you enjoy watching without tearing others down. Remember that these are real people with real feelings – not characters who exist solely for our entertainment.

Ready to break free from the parasocial trap? Start by examining your own relationship with social media and reality TV. Are you developing unhealthy attachments to strangers? Is your enjoyment turning into obsession? Maybe it's time to step outside and reconnect with the real world around you.

Daijné:

Is this thing on? Hello, hello. Uh-oh, another yapper with a mic. Hello everyone, and welcome back to the Napkin In Between podcast. I am your host, Daijné Jones. I hope everyone's been having a good week, except for that orange drink lady, of course.

Daijné:

I am feeling incredibly refreshed. Um, as you Ooh, what am I saying? I'm already stuttering. I don't know what's been going on with me recently, but I have been stuttering so much and I feel like I always stutter Not always, but like that's something that's happened to me all the time Because my brain works faster than my mouth can, like I'll form a thought faster than it just happened. Again I'll form a thought faster than it can like come out of my mouth. Like I just feel like my brain has been like it's always overactive, but it's been even more so overactive recently, probably because I'm just like on social media more than I should be. I really have been trying to decrease my screen time and step outside, hence segwaying into what was the peak of my week. I'm feeling very refreshed right now because I so the family that I nanny for.

Daijné:

If y'all don't know or I'm sure most of you know that I, apart from content creation, I am a full-time nanny and for the last couple of weeks they've been in the Hamptons to finish out the summer, before the kids go back to school, hamptons to finish out the summer before the kids go back to school. And so for the past like week and a half I've been traveling back and forth from New York or like the city and the Hamptons. And I love being in the Hamptons because I love New York City. But the one thing that I miss so much is just like green. Like yes, I could go to Central Park and there's obviously green there, but it's not the same because it's still. It's still the city, right, so it's still very loud and there's so much commotion, so much going on in the Hamptons, like it's green and it's quiet and I feel like I can really sit with my thoughts and just like be in nature and touch fucking grass, which I would love all of us to do. We'll get to it a little bit in the later portion of this episode, but I just feel like I can calm my mind, which I genuinely need.

Daijné:

I feel like my thoughts are always running 10 miles a minute and so it's always nice to go out there with them and like I put my phone down. I'm, and it's nice because, like the, the house that we stay at, like the family that I named for, they're not worried about nothing. Okay, like they, they're good. And so the house that we stay at it's like this huge house. There's an in-ground pool, there's all this like field. The house sits on like an 18 hole golf course. Like when I say they're good, they're good.

Daijné:

Um, and so it's so nice to be out there because, you know, I'm with my nanny kids and they want to get in the pool and they want to jump on the trampoline, they want to be running around in the grass, and it's just so much fun. I feel like something that I've I've learned recently like really heals me, is healing my inner child, and so that's why I feel like it's so nice being a nanny, because, like I have an excuse to do quote-unquote kid things like play in the grass, jump on the trampoline, swim for hours in a pool, and so, as always, it really just like helps me regulate, when I can literally just focus on being in the green, being with the kids, and like not have to worry about anything else. So that has definitely been the peak of my week. It's just been like being able to put my phone down because, again, I've just been consuming so much media recently like it's my screen time whoo child, it's bad, it's so bad and I've I've been trying to step away from my phone more.

Daijné:

Um, I'm reading again, which I used to be such an avid reader Like I used to read book after book after book and I just for some reason haven't recently, just because I've just been so locked into my phone and social media. So I'm just really trying to step away from social media, which again is so important it will get to in a second and just touching some grass, like it's just, it was so nice to be out there and just being the quiet and hearing the sounds of nature, like the crickets and the birds or whatever, and being in the grass, being in the pool just away from the city and putting my phone down. It's just, that was like so refreshing for me mentally, like I feel like I'm in a much better place. So that's definitely been the peak of my week, um, just, you know, again, being being in nature and touching grass. So please tell me the peak of your week, something that made you smile, kept you grounded, kept you sane in the chaos of the world, segwaying into what we're going to talk about today.

Daijné:

I feel like I'm moving quick today because I genuinely like I heavily considered not posting a video this week because I'm like I need everyone to shut the fuck up, get off of social media and genuinely go touch fucking grass, because the way social media has been specifically around Love Island and the contestants and the couples right now, like everyone is losing their goddamn fucking minds, like it is. I just am like blown away by how this stupid little dating show that is supposed to be like fun and you know, just silly and quirky and whatever has gotten to the place that it's gotten to. And it's to the point where fans, in every fan base I feel like are just like we've the plot is insanely lost, and not even just the fans, but like the contestants and like everyone is just losing their minds. And I'm like I checked and mercury doesn't have her micro braids and in fact she just took them out. So I'm like what the fuck going on? Like everybody's going crazy.

Daijné:

But I feel like it's just because social media it's a double-edged sword, like I, as a content creator, I've always said like I I love social media because it has genuinely, like changed my life and afforded me opportunities that I wouldn't have, and I'm so thankful for all of you for being here and, you know, helping me reach my goals and my dreams. At the same time, social media is a fucking cancer to society, like I feel like because we're spending so much time on social media, people get parasocial, real easy and real quickly, and I feel like it's because we're spending so much time on social media that we forget to develop these real relationships with people in real life. And so we're developing relationships with people online relationships. I say in quote because, like, we forget, like we don't know these people. Okay, we don't know these people, but I feel like, because people are so locked into social media again, our moms are right, it is that damn phone they develop relationships with these people, relationships, again I say in quotes to the point where they become so invested in the lives of people that they do not know and it's it's just really fucking scary.

Daijné:

So again, with this whole love island and the, the islanders and everything, I just feel like everyone and every fan base is genuinely losing the plot with this recent interview that ace did and him commenting or lacking to comment on the authenticity of nick and elandria's relationship. I feel like I have more of an unpopular opinion when it comes to all of this, because I can see where Ace is coming from. If you look at it at the surface level, I can see how Ace can feel like Nick is wishy-washy or whatever. In his answers he says one thing in private, private, says another thing in public, and ace is the type of person who he really values people standing on business and being the same person in public as they are in private. So I feel like ace is looking at this very surface level and thinking like, oh well, he said one thing to me in private, but he says another thing in public. That's not standing on business. That's not real, that's not authentic, and I feel like he's taking that point of thinking and putting it on the authenticity of nick and alandria's relationship.

Daijné:

Now, I do not agree with that. I don't think. Number one I don't think that nick and alandria are scamming. There's so many people who are like, oh my god, they're scamming. I don't think that they're scamming. That's number one. Number two I don't think it's fair for ace to apply that logic of he's not saying the same thing in private as he is in public. Therefore, their relationship isn't authentic to their relationship. Because I think the thing that ace is missing is that, no matter what nick says, it is going, if people don't agree with it, that is going to fall on Alandria. People are going to use that as a way to attack Alandria.

Daijné:

So when Ace uses this example in his interview of like, oh, nick said to me in private you know, some people shouldn't have made it to the final four, but in public he's saying everyone deserved to be in the final four because that's how America voted, whatever. He's not thinking that if nicks were to say in in uh public that someone didn't deserve to be in the final four and I'm gonna assume this is just my assumption that the people that were named that didn't deserve to be in final four was huda and chris fair I feel like that's like they broke up in the finaluna 4 was Huda and Chris Fair. I feel like they broke up in the final episode. Of course their relationship, their connection was not strong enough to be in the Fauna 4. But Nick cannot say that in public because people will take that and be like, oh my God, alandria's a mean girl. She's probably been talking shit about Huda to Nick and making Nick talk shit about Huda now it would have fallen back on Alandria. She's probably been talking shit about huda to nick and making nick talk shit about huda now like it would have fallen back on alandria.

Daijné:

So the reason I feel that nick says one thing in private and another thing in public is because, at the end of the day, his main priority is to protect alandria and ace didn't see that. Ace didn't understand. He saw was like you are not standing on business, you're not saying the same thing here as you are there, and it hurt his feelings. And his feelings are valid. If that's how he feels. That's how he feels. However, he didn't consider Alandria's feelings, in my opinion, or how all of this would fall back on Alandria, and not only Alandria but Shelly as well.

Daijné:

I've looked at shelly's comments and people are now dragging her, telling her that she needs to control ace and you know she, she needs to get her her man and check that out, and it's like he's a grown-ass man. He is a grown-ass man if, if, if that's how he feels again, do I think that he should have shared it in public? Absolutely not if that's how you feel. That should have been a private conversation, because look what is happening to not only alandria now but also shelly, and I think that's the reason nick is not as vocal on his opinions in public, because he knows at the end of the day, people are going to use that as a way to hate on alandria, and I don't think Ace thought about that. So I say all that to say I understand where Ace is coming from and I understand how his feelings could be hurt, but I feel like Ace did not look at the bigger picture and and think about how this would all reflect or fall back on Shelly and Alandria.

Daijné:

Now, because of this interview, as said, people are now coming at you know, shelly, alandria, ace is getting some backlash as well, but the parasocialness of it all is insane. Like I'm seeing people I saw a woman post a video and say that Nick needs to get on, live and use white tears and defend himself against ace. What, what, like, what, what are y'all okay? Like what the fuck are we actually talking about? What the fuck are we talking about? And this is where I say like everyone needs to get offline and go touch some fucking grass, because what do you mean you're saying that nick should use a racist tactic that has had black people killed to defend himself against Ace? The plot is so fucking lost. The plot is so fucking lost and I, like I understand you know people are are upset with Ace, and I'm not saying that what Ace did was right, okay, but at the end of the day, you can critique him without resorting to racism because, mind you, these are supposed to nicolandria fans who are saying things like this, and I understand, like it's not just nicolandria fans, but I am directing this at nicolandria fans, because y'all have been going so hard, as you should, because of the racism that alandria has faced, because of Huda fans.

Daijné:

Right, to turn around after defending Alandria against racism and then call for racism against Ace because he says something that you don't like is actually, in fucking sane, absolutely insane. What the fuck are we talking about? Like, I don't think that y'all are thinking. I think y'all are in too deep. It's getting really weird, it's getting really parasocial and we need to wrap this shit up by noon 30 yesterday. I'm so fucking serious. Everyone has lost their fucking minds, truly, truly, have lost their fucking minds, truly, truly, have lost their fucking minds. Like it. It gets to a point. And then I made a video about this on tiktok and people were in the comments like, oh, she was just joking, it's just a joke. Y'all, y'all gotta relax. It's just a joke, so please share with the class. What's funny about racism? I'll wait, like what yo? If that's not a fucking joke, that's weird and it's parasocial and it is racist. Let's be so fucking for real again.

Daijné:

Do I agree with what a said? No, I don't. I don't think. First of all, I don't think that he should have commented on the relationship at all, because what he said in the interview was that the last conversation that he had with nick which, by his own admission, was in the villa, which was two months ago, so you shouldn't have an opinion anyway, because clearly, your, your information is outdated, so I don't think that he should have said anything at all. Anyway, however, he said what he said. Those are his feelings. Okay, I also think if he had those feelings, he should have said that to alandria in private or had a conversation with nick, whatever, because he claims to care about alandria, right? So if you're, if you're, worried about her, you're, you know, you have your reservations or you feel some type of way and you feel like you need to protect her or let her know of this thing. You have her number. No, like I, I'm sure you guys have each other's number. So that could have been a conversation to have in private, and it should have been had in private because now people again are using this as a way to attack alandria and shelly. So if that's how he felt, I understand he should have had it in private.

Daijné:

We can say all of this. We can critique him and say all of this without resorting to racism. And if you feel like you can't, that is something that you need to unpack, because what the actual fuck? Y'all are getting really weird. It's it's getting weird and we need to wrap up. This is the last time that I will ever, unless it has something to do with calling out racism. I don't want to talk about love island anymore.

Daijné:

This season has been so fucking draining because of the fans, because of the cast, because of producers and production. Like everyone has lost their minds and I'm I'm just yo. The plot lost their minds and I'm I'm just yo. The plot is lost, dangerously lost, because the things that y'all are talking about now it's getting crazy and we absolutely need to wrap it up and touch some fucking grass. Like I, yo, I'm so. I'm just blown away by what this has has led to and what people are saying.

Daijné:

Because, again, mind you, this was just supposed to be a silly, cute, fun, stupid little dating show where people who are overly freaked out go and they all kiss each other and they try to find love and they couple up and then they go through casa more, which is a little bit dramatic, and there's drama here and there, and that's it that. That was where it was supposed to start and stop, but the fact that so many people are now resorting to racism because of a stupid little TV show touch some fucking grass, touch some fucking grass this is insane. This is like I'm so flabbergasted, my flabbers are actually gasted, because what do you mean? Like yo, everyone just needs to calm the fuck down, put the phone down, put your hands up and back away slowly, because there's just no reason that it should have ever gotten to all of this.

Daijné:

I think, for everyone involved, for the cast, whatever, like, everyone should just focus on who they enjoy and who they like. Like, if somebody says something that you don't like, okay, you don't like it, great. If you feel like you can critique it without resorting to racism, do that. And if you feel like you can't just go show some love to the people that you like, like? I just feel like everyone involved is so focused on everyone but like themselves or the people that they actually like, like there's so many people who are so set on trying to convince people who enjoy nickelangia that they're a scam, that they're pr, that they're this or that.

Daijné:

And what if I told you I don't give a fuck if they are? Then what? What if I told you that if they're scamming me, I don't mind? What if I told you that if they're scamming me, I consent to it? I'm clicking on every link, I'm accepting all cookies. The African prince is asking for my card information and I'm giving it to him. What if I told you that I don't care? Then what? Like? I feel like people are so hellbent on trying to convince people who like Nicolandria that it's a scam. I don't care, I don't care, I don't care. If it's a scam, I genuinely don't care. And if this is what a scam looks like, give me 14 more of them. Sign me up for all the scams.

Daijné:

Let me this type of scam find me, because at the end of the day, the real tea is that the reason y'all think nick and alandria are a scam is because you can't fathom a man who looks like nick actually liking a woman who looks like alandria. That is racism that you need to unpack, because if you look at nick's actions and what he has done for alandria and what she has said about how he treats her as well, there's actually no way that you could ever think that it's a scam, and not even only that. Look at how they were on the show. On the show nick, after casa, fought for alandria to stay, has yearned for for this woman since episode one. There's no way that you can tell me that you genuinely think that it is a scam. That is just racism bill. That is racism that you need to unpack and you need to work on. But for the sake of the argument, let's just say that you are right. Let's just say they're scamming, it's fake, it's pr.

Daijné:

I don't care, leave me to be scammed in peace, let me be. Don't save me. I don't want to be saved Because here's the thing I did a review on every episode this season. In fact, I wish that I could go back and never press play on episode one, but I did. Okay, I reviewed every episode this season. In my very first review, episode one review I said in in that video I want to see more of nick and alandria. I am quite literally an episode one shipper. I'm getting exactly what I had always wanted, which was to see more of nick and alandria. So even if they are a scam, I don't care. Okay, I heard you, we, we've all heard you. So can you please leave us alone and let us be scammed in peace?

Daijné:

It's just so weird to me that people are so hell-bent on throwing hate and trying to say that this is a scam couple and then also when I say to people like I, I don't care if it's a scam, I don't care, their response in my comments has been I can't wait to be vindicated, like I can't wait until y'all see he's gonna do her dirty. Like I can't wait until y'all see he's gonna do her dirty and I can't wait so y'all can see. Do you hear yourself like there's something so sinister about the way people are rooting for alandria to be hurt? They're rooting, they. They're like I can't wait to see it, I can't wait for him to hurt her. Like so you're, you're praying on her downfall, you're praying for her feelings or whatever to be hurt.

Daijné:

And again I tell y'all y'all are in too deep, y'all are weird, y'all are parasocial and you need to touch fucking grass because there's no way you think that that is a normal response. Like you're weird, that's weird for you to spend so much time hating when you could just go and enjoy whatever couple or whatever people that you you like, but you spend so much time trying to convince yourself that they're a scam and trying to convince other people that they're a scam. Like I, just I, this is a type of activity that I've never understood or will ever understand. Like this is a terrible use of your free will. There has to be better things that you can do. No, like what the fuck?

Daijné:

I just feel like everyone is getting incredibly weird. Just feel like everyone is getting incredibly weird, that everyone involved in this whole situation whether you're a fan, whether you're, as alandria said, a secret fan or a second fan base like everyone's getting weird and we all need to shut up, put our phones down and touch some grass because I, just I, I'm just in complete shock that this silly little TV show has gotten this far and like everyone is just losing their fucking minds. So as we wrap up today's episode, please also wrap up all this Love Island discourse, all this Love Island talk. Put your phone down and go touch some fucking grass, cause it's been weird for a while, but it's getting weirder by the day, like everyone just needs to, needs to let it go. Show's over. We had the reunion.

Daijné:

People who I knew would sit on business stood on business. Wrap it up, let it go. Support the people that you like. If somebody says something about the couple that you like and you can critique them in a normal way, do that. But if you feel like you have to resort to racism or sending hate or death threats or whatever, like I fear you're in far too deep for people that you do not know and it's, it's just weird. Wrap this shit the fuck up immediately, because it it's gone from bad to j-lo and I'm I'm so sick of it.

Daijné:

At first I loved being able to, you know, add to these conversations and I love that you guys were asking me my opinion and everything like that. But unless it has to do with racism and calling out racism or something. I'm. I'm off this shit because it's starting to feel irresponsible to even continue these conversations because of how weird everyone is getting. So let's wrap it up. Okay. We heard you.

Daijné:

Nicolangelo is being scammed. We love it. We love it here. Okay, don't save us. We don't want to be saved. I'm enjoying being scammed. Move on, everyone. Move the fuck on, put the phone down, go touch some grass and let's, let's all let it go. Let's, let's just. It's over. Okay, support the people you like, ignore the people you don't. Period the end. Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode. I hope everyone's having a good week, except for that orange drink. Lady. Go touch some grass and I will talk to you in the next episode. Peace and love. Talk to you later. T he Napkin in Between, hosted by Daijné Jones. Produced by Daijné Jones, post-production by Daijné Jones, music by Sam Champagne and graphics by Isma Vidal. Don't forget to like and subscribe. See you next episode.