Recent Bride Spills the Details

Welcome back to another episode of Nuptial Nonsense! 🎉 This week, Valerie is joined by Courtney Alexander, a former Oak & Willow bride, to spill the tea on her wedding planning experience, the highs, the lows, and everything in between. If you’re planning a wedding (or just love hearing about them), this episode is packed with real talk, helpful advice, and a few wild moments!

💍 In This Episode:

✅ What It’s Really Like to Plan a Wedding While Moving Twice – Courtney shares her journey of planning a wedding in Chattanooga while living in Knoxville and Georgia (before eventually moving to Chattanooga—by surprise!).

✅ Hiring a Wedding Planner: Why It’s a Must – Courtney breaks down why she chose Oak & Willow and how having a planner allowed her to actually enjoy her wedding day instead of stressing over the details.

✅ Single Life & Marriage: Navigating Expectations – As a trauma-informed life coach for single women, Courtney talks about embracing singleness, setting real standards, and avoiding getting married just for the sake of marriage.

✅ The Vendor Vetting Process: What to Ask & When to Run – The #1 question every bride should ask a past client before booking a vendor: Would you hire them again? Plus, the nightmare experience that left Courtney second-guessing whether one of her vendors would even show up on wedding day.

✅ Favorite Wedding Moments – From walking down the aisle with her dad to an unexpected concert moment with cell phone lights during her first dance, Courtney shares the moments that made her wedding unforgettable.

✅ Vendor Communication is Everything – Valerie and Courtney discuss why consistent communication is key and how ghosting a couple (or their planner) is the quickest way to break trust.

🎙️ Helpful Links & Chattanooga Resources:

🔗 Find the Perfect Wedding Venue → Visit Chattanooga

🔗 Tennessee Marriage License Requirements → TN.gov

🔗 Southside Loft (Rehearsal Dinner Venue Shoutout!) → Southside Chattanooga

🔗 Wedding Planner vs. Venue Coordinator: Know the Difference → Wedding Wire

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🌿 Learn More About Our Planning Services: oakandwilloweventco.com

🎥 Produced by: Build Something Media

Follow Oak + Willow Event Co. for Wedding Inspiration!

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Transcript

 (Music)



 Welcome back to the nuptial nonsense podcast brought to you by Oak & Willow Event Co. I'm your host Valerie and this is my co-host, co-host, not Raleigh. This is Courtney. Hi. Raleigh's a homesick today. Courtney is a former Oak & Willow bride.



 Former bride is so debrides.

 Is it?

 Now you're a married woman though.

 I know but it's like the bride the bride era is over.



 Yeah it was fun.

 It was fun for me. I hope it was fun for you. I had a great time. Okay good. So she's gonna talk to us today a little bit about her life, her bridal journey.



 Dues and don't. The number one do is hire Oak & Willow Bent Co. to be your wedding planner.

 Correct.



 I'm not paid to say that.

 No, no she's definitely not paid to be here. We don't have that budget for sure. No. And where's the guy from there? So tell us about you. Well hey.

 Hey.

 Um I'm Courtney Alexander now. Yes girl. Courtney Leo to my former life but Courtney Alexander now. Yeah. As of like a couple months ago.

 Yeah I love that.

 Um and I'm from East Tennessee and I just got married obviously to my husband who I met long distance.



 And yeah uh so yeah we started wedding planning in different cities so that was fun. And not in the city that we lived in. So you were in Knoxville. I was in Knoxville and he was in Georgia. Right. And uh. Now you live in Chattanooga. Now we live in Chattanooga which ironically is where we planned our wedding and we didn't know we were gonna live in Chattanooga. So that's right. That's like a whole a whole story in itself of like us booking Chattanooga for our wedding and being like great because it'll be like halfway it'll be good we have a lot of community here and then we end up living 10 minutes from our wedding venue after that. So that was fun. Uh didn't know that was gonna happen. So I yeah I've moved twice. Anyways about me uh I uh I run my own trauma informed life coaching company where I help single women specifically uh live full and authentic lives. Yes. So that they're not just sitting there twiddling their thumbs waiting for marriage but like how do they actually get to live this fully abundant life and have good boundaries and take ownership. Like I just feel like there's a lot of expectations on single women specifically single women in the south of like what life should look like or shouldn't look like. You're dealing with expectations from your upbringing or you're dealing with expectations from your faith. You're dealing with expectations from you know culture your parents like all these different things and so what does it look like for you to be a fully flourishing single woman.



 And because it is possible. It is possible and uh just because you are flourishing in singleness does not mean you have to give up a desire for marriage and family if you still want that. Because I see like I see people talking about like you know best life single life and like living it and I'm like a strong independent woman but like what about people who like actually want to live that freedom and also still have this desire that I want to get married one day and so we kind of sit in the middle and the messy and yeah all of that. So I do. That's why.

 It really is. Like that's it's messy and it really is. Yeah for sure. Yeah so

 I started that a couple years ago as a single woman and uh went on that journey and I'm no longer a single woman so that's been an interesting transition of uh working with single women and no longer being one um and so it's given me very much a different perspective.

 Um but you can like testify to both sides of that now. Absolutely. You know what I mean? Absolutely. Because you did like based on your social media with a very full flourishing life.

 Yeah.

 Before Nick.

 Yeah.

 And now you're like he's so great and you're obviously so happy and like



 wait y'all see their wedding pictures on our Instagram.



 Oh I'm like a boo hooing looking at them. Just because you can like



 I mean even though I was there to witness it obviously but even in the photos and the video you can just see how much y'all love each other. I love that for you.

 Thanks. You're welcome. It's really great to hear that because like and I've heard that from you and some other vendors that we worked with with people being like look we do this all the time. We do this every weekend and I don't know maybe they're just blown smoke but like people are even like there's just something that's like really genuine and authentic about the way you guys look at each other the way you guys love each other your community around each other. I know we'll get into more about our wedding and stuff but.

 Because there are literally brides that like my team and I have been like did we ask her if she actually wants to do this? Like grow blinks twice if you need help. Like genuinely. Yeah. We have witnessed it. So yeah y'all are not that's not.

 Yeah well and that's that's part of some of the work that I do too is like in your singleness how can we how can we find unique standards and values that are applicable to you. Not just rules for rule sake but that are really in line with what you need. And if we can if we can really work through some mindsets that marriage is like this ultimate prize and like it's like this like status level to achieve in culture and like all these things if we can actually shift our mindset about what marriage is and what it isn't then what we find is women are not getting married just for getting married's sake or women are not getting married just to get out of singleness. It's not marriage is not a solution to the problem of singleness because singleness is not a problem. Yeah. We continue to think that singleness is a problem and marriage is a prize singleness will always be.



 So how can we actually sit and hold both and it's living a full single life is exciting and wonderful and it didn't mean that it wasn't hard like it yeah I grieved a lot and it was it was hard for sure but uh then walking into marriage you're like wow this is like a whole life and I actually there's like elements that I like miss my single life and not like not like how people say I'm like oh just enjoy your single life well it lasts like not in that way but it's like okay how do I actually bring and blend together elements of that life that we created and um yeah because I just don't know a lot of people in my circle well now I do because now I work in the base in the market but I just didn't know a lot of people in my circle who waited until their 30s to get married so yeah around 42 story still waiting yeah good yeah good because don't settle because then you end up with those brides who are like are you just checking a box and getting married just to get married yeah

 or I have a friend that has literally I will not say her name but she has literally been married and divorced



 multiple we'll say multiple yeah yeah I'm like girl it's okay to just be you yeah it's okay to just like hang out with your friends and like you don't have to have somebody all the time yeah but you're a wedding planner and this

 is your podcast that we're talking about maybe you shouldn't get married



 marriage is awesome if you do decide to get married

 I'll help you no I don't believe in love and marriage and all that like I think that that's real and but it's not for everybody no I mean that's for sure and like you said isn't for everybody and like you said it's not just like this



 like life goal of like I have to achieve this or like I have failed yeah as a woman especially like that's not yeah that's bullshit

 yeah yeah so

 I love watching women just chase after their dreams and yeah businesses and do things and raising great kids and just live incredible lives and not to say like oh I can't live that and so I get married yeah no so I love I love being a part of the launch process

 yeah girl thank you for coming to our Ted talk I

 do that all the time like when I'm on like training sessions with my girls like I'm sitting there it happened last night I was on a train session with them and I'm like okay that's not anything I prepared but that's apparently Ted docked number one

 I mean that's okay yeah anyway okay back to you so other than that where can we find you on social media

 um instagram tick tock okay youtube uh at Courtney Leo there's an extra y in the center Leo's my maiden name um keeping it for branding sake sorry Nick like



 it says Alexander on my title but it just yeah but there's an extra y in the in the corner so it's Courtney why Leo okay I'm extra so I couldn't just I was gonna say that your middle initial no no no my middle initial I was

 like what would be wow like what would go with Courtney the source of the law see you long never mind you bet yeah so let's talk about your wedding okay and the wedding planning process so



 okay you found me yeah this is fun sort of like a it was really like two ways like so do you remember yeah so like there was an Facebook group right there was like a posting or something I posted in Facebook group yeah okay but then I had coordinated a wedding that you were at

 that I had been to yes well so so here's the thing and this is like life hacks for wedding vendors that are watching um I stalked Instagrams for my vendors like crazy yeah and so I'd posted in Facebook hey I need a you know a wedding coordinator which that's the whole thing of why I decided we should talk about that yeah but um I needed a wedding coordinator your name popped up several different times along with many other options but several different times and I went to your Instagram looked looked at photos you had posted looked at tagged photos from brides and recognized a wedding that I had yeah that you had coordinated and so messaged that bride and was like yeah uh here's here's the question for all brides would you hire them again that's all you gotta ask hey yeah so I did this like because you can talk to the vendor about what do you offer what you don't offer like all that kind of stuff but the question you need to ask other brides yes would you hire them again yes because for

 out Katie and kid for saying yes thank you for that oh Katie said

 yes that bride said yes he said yes absolutely loved her like all the things she'd hired you for a different package but as far as like working with you and participating with you she was like yeah absolutely and so I was like okay cool and then that was enough for me to reach out to you I was on the pickleball fields when I reached out to you I remember I love that I was watching Nick's place pickleball that's cute he emailed me

 and it was so fun for me at your at the reception to see Katie's mom and brother you like that over there I love that

 so much like I haven't asked I like I didn't ask her I didn't ask you about that if you had seen her like at

 all yeah yeah so we were we like the guests were coming and they're like finding the guestbook or whatever and Hannah was like um no I'm sorry Misty Misty was like Valerie don't we know that and I'm like there's like this lot of people you know and I'm like probably like and she's like no him the redhead because it was her brother very very memorable and he's tall like he stands out you know like he's a handsome guy and I was like oh my god and then I saw her mom and I like freaked out so I know Katie was like my mom sent me pictures of y'all like I'm so glad you saw oh yeah we were taking selfies and she was sitting on to her shout out to Martha I love you Martha I love that whole family is just

 absolutely precious yeah we've known them a long time

 yeah how do you okay so how do you know them

 um so Luke the redhead and my youngest brother Joey are the same age and him and my brother and Luke and another uh another boy we're like all in the same grade okay and we met them at uh community pool we all went to the community pool and those boys were on the same swim team relay that's cute and they like won like crazy anyways all of our moms are really good friends and then like there's I'm like way older than everybody else but like between the different families like there's a lot of like shared grades and all this kind of stuff so um I can

 see your mom and her mom being like really good friends

 yeah they're really opposite

 yes but they're both so like fun and just like such like fun mom energy you know what I mean like I can tell you see them like yeah being a friend they're great yeah um okay so you we ended up booking



 and then so you had a separate can I say why

 why I went with you yeah because I talked to a couple people yeah I went with you because one reference for sure having Katie's reference of just like you know would you hire again great awesome but there's a couple reasons one um so like I've coordinated a lot of weddings and so this decision was scary for me I've said in my whole life like I'm really organized I can I can run a wedding yeah like who am I gonna hire one day it's what I've been stressed about for 10 years like that whole life before I even was close to getting there like who is gonna do it better than me essentially and I refuse I'm old enough to have been to enough weddings I've been a part of the wedding I refuse to be the wedding planner on my wedding day yeah and I I absolutely made it important to be a bride yes so there is a couple things one um you were chill but also not chill yeah like you're chill and like make the main thing the main thing focus on the main thing and then also like



 like everything's gonna be fine but also when it's not fine it's not fine I'm gonna figure it out yeah and so yeah that blend was really comforting to me also and I hope this like is a compliment and not offended at all but you're like not a 20 something that just got into the industry like you've been to a lot of weddings and like no offense to people who started because like I've wanted to start a wedding career this is like four different times in my career thank goodness I've never done it it's not my thing somewhere for sure you have to start somewhere but like you you have done it for a while you know what's important what's not important you know what to focus on not to focus on because you've just done it for a while and um you also here's another important thing is like you understand it from the venue side because you do have the history of the venue coordinator yeah and one mistake that I see over and over and over again with brides is that they book venues and I don't know if this is how your venue was so hopefully I don't mistake but or misspeak but they book like venue packages that like oh it comes with a wedding coordinator and it's actually not a wedding coordinator it's a venue coordinator that like they can call and know where to drop off and so I just see bride after bride that are like we just like didn't like yeah we just didn't have the help we needed so another reason I booked you is because I knew I was gonna have two venues I had already booked my venues when I booked you so I knew I was gonna have two venues and so I knew I needed somebody who was very connected who had a lot of team and then the other thing was I straight up told you I was like I do not want to decorate yeah my wedding I was like that's my favorite let me do it I was like look here's the thing I uh I just don't like I have a vibe I can give you pictures but I do not want to decorate my wedding I picked my venue specifically because they needed very little decoration I do not want to make the decision I do want to make the plan and so literally when I walked on wedding day when I walked out into my reception it was the first time that I saw what the decorations were gonna

 be so funny to me when people would ask you like leading up to and even like at rehearsal people were like oh and you're like I asked her I have no idea I have no idea and I was like I got it y'all don't worry I got it idea I'm not and you said like I just don't want anything extravagant like because both venues you chose are so beautiful like just in and of themselves for sure and so it didn't need either of them yeah it didn't need a whole thing like it wasn't this just like blank yeah you know what I mean white wall to wall that's nothing well

 I think the other thing too that definitely came into play is that you know the area and at the time like I didn't live here yeah and I eventually did live here but it's been two seconds so you know the area I loved the fact that you could be like you know hey we need the spender you're like I know exactly who to call or I would be like hey you know we got this question about this and you're like I'm gonna see them this weekend at a wedding like you know like it's just like you're so connected yeah to because you've done enough in this area to be able to go

 got it

 and that's one thing I will say about and I don't know I mean I've only ever worked in weddings I mean I've done them other than Chattanooga but I'm obviously based out of Chattanooga area but vendors in this community are like so



 I was actually chatting with one last night or take some of the last night she owns a wedding planning business we're actually talking about the podcast and she was like I'm so excited for you like I will do anything I can to help you and I was like likewise like I want everybody to succeed like genuinely that's how yeah collectively I think the vendors feel about this now there are some that obviously mesh better than others of course but like and I have my favorites for 100% but if my favorite is booked I have five other options I love it just because you know I have done it for a while now and I go to networking things and just the vendor community in this area is I feel like it's really special I don't I don't know if that's just subject to here because it's like not that big of a city you know what I mean like for if it's if that's how it is everywhere I don't know but yeah I'm thankful for it here for

 sure well it came into play because there were multiple vendors that I never even talked to because like like vendors of like we needed a little bit of greenery for this and like our linens then you're like hey I'm gonna go do this like this is the price like this also because like I didn't have any hand in the decor like I had I had given all I had surrendered all that up I'm like I don't want to do it like I sent you like four pictures yeah this is what I think looks good yeah is that fine and you're like yeah I got it from here and then you would send me like hey I think you know I think we need this it's this amount of money like yeah I was still making all the budget decisions and signing contracts and deposits but like yeah we were just able to go hey that's these people like and for me the research and the vetting process stresses me out yeah and I love that yeah I don't like it

 I think that's why we worked so well together because like you are super organized and there were some problems that was a little bit intimidating to me because I was like holy shit I don't know how to do this excel sheet like Courtney I don't just I don't know I am literally that's

 the thing is like you came with like all the things that I'm like like I've I never grew up and had a wedding Pinterest board couldn't tell you what I wanted it to look like yeah until I honestly as far as my like venues go that was all Nick like it wasn't even me like I was like I don't even know what I want my

 wedding to look like like I don't know you did a good job

 Nick was like all there he's like I know what I wouldn't what the one I look like and I want there to be case oh like it just

 he was

 killing it like sorry there's going to be taste alright I'm like Nick I swear to you there

 to be case though like I'm wearing a he needed there to be case though and like a couple other things but like I just I but I had the spreadsheets yeah it was like I had the math like I was like able I'm like and then I did this formula and then this thing here and you're like court yes

 that's what I mean tonight like yes we're gonna move for okay

 cool I got my brain things that's how I organized things yeah I was like oh god

 but I think that's why I work well together it's like we have a lot of similarities but I think we have a lot of different strings in different areas and so it just made like the situation at least for me very ideal yeah yeah the stuff you didn't want to do I was like that's my favorite yeah and the stuff that I was like hell are you talking about you're like I got okay yeah we're good

 well yeah and I think that's something we had talked about that at the beginning where I when I was booking you I also knew that I was moving once I didn't know I was gonna move twice in my wedding planning process I mean literally moved from Knoxville to Georgia and then Georgia to Chattanooga all in four months yeah like a crazy person I knew I was only gonna move once I didn't know I was moving twice that was a surprise but I knew that and like here's the thing like the wedding is not the only thing that has to happen in order to start your marriage like there's so many things like like you're also talking about like bridal showers and bachelorette parties but then you're also talking about like thank-you notes and like this thing and like gifts for your parents and bridesmaids gifts like there's so many things as a bride that are not the event yeah but there's so many and on top of finding places to like we had to find places to live and what we're like move also like move find places to live like set up utilities like there are so many things that were on my brain that even if I was like oh yeah like I could play in a bit I've done that before yeah to be able to go and I think I said this to you in our consultation call like I need somebody whose brain is on the wedding moving it forward yeah and so I need you to boss me around tell me what you need from me tell me what you need me to do but like you need to you need to be the captain of the ship for the wedding cuz I gotta run a business move twice like prep for marriage like do all these other things that like delegating it doesn't mean I'm gonna be like hands off I'm not gonna touch it but yeah I need to be captain of it and I think that I don't feel like I didn't have a hand in the wedding plan process I just felt like it I had to trust you and I think that's the big thing that I see and you had talked about a couple times you're like sometimes I feel like I need to give Brad's money back because they just do my whole job and I'm like there has to be a level of trust and there has to be a level of you deciding what are the big things that are really really important to you yeah and what else are you going to release I don't need to know what time the linens are gonna show up yeah but you know what I do need to do I do need to sit down and pick what song I'm gonna walk down the aisle to you right like you can't do that for me I mean you could if I told you to but like you can't do that right so there's a lot of things that you don't realize are just event things right just event things that just have to get done like that are just part of the plan like the schedule the time like all these things but there's so many other things outside of the event planning that has to get done as you are the bride and groom and as you are entering the marriage that like to be able to go and the event's gonna happen one way or another because Valerie's the captain of the ship and she told me everything I need to get done and there were some times where we would be on calls and I'd be like that's all we need to do this week are you sure and you're like yeah it's fine yeah I'm like okay and then also to have somebody who does it all the time does it every weekend I specifically remember conversation maybe like four or five weeks out and from the wedding and I was like freaking out because all of these like details were not set yet and I'm like the vendors need doesn't mess and you're like they say that this is the reality I've worked with these people before yeah this is norm for the industry and I'm like oh that makes sense in any sort of industry the people who are in it all the time would like know the norms and know how things work and know how these vendors vendors work in this area and so to be able to go okay like I had trust in the fact that even though this doesn't make sense to me this is how I do I would do it you've done it enough times to know what the norm is and so I had to trust you with that and I just don't see that from a lot of other brides that I talked to you

 yeah and that's one thing I think I appreciated the most about like our working relationship was that you I can't tell you how many times you said to me I trust you just do it I trust you just do whatever like you got it yeah and like I think that is so important that's why I do consultation calls before I book people is because first of all there's other questions I need to ask you then just your name the event date them you know what I mean sure but then also like I have I have done consultation calls before and said like I just don't think like we're gonna be a good fit for each other but like let me recommend some other like planners or coordinators that I was like would be a better fit for you and like there's and vice versa like I've had people tell me like you're probably great at what you do I just think for what I'm needing and that's fine like I don't get offended by that I'm like okay cool yeah like that doesn't bother me yeah also that's like what meant for you is gonna come to you like that you know so yeah that's how my mindset but I do appreciate you just like trusting in me and trusting in the process even though a few times towards the end you were like no are you sure and I'm not girl

 there were a couple times where I like push back and there's a few moments where I was like no I really got to do this whatever but I didn't I think it threw people off too I remember when we were doing our walkthrough for rehearsal dinner and which oh yeah that was another reason why I hired you cuz like in our family situation our you know usually there's a family that participates in the hosting and planning of the rehearsal dinner and for our family dynamic that wasn't gonna happen and so planning and the rehearsal dinner was gonna fall on us and so you had that as the service and I was like great awesome cool do it and so when we're doing you're like I found this place it's done good like I think it's gonna fit what you need I'm like cool great awesome yeah we booked it site unseen like I was like sure and then we go for the walkthrough and the coordinator the venue person is like begged to ask me all of these questions she's asking she's like directing all these questions like what color napkins do you want color you're like you know chargers do you want and I'm just like

 Courtney's gonna change looking at me I'm like okay this is all this is what

 we're gonna do finally after like 10 minutes of that you were just like I'm just gonna shoot it to you straight I'm gonna make these decisions but

 I think that I'm so glad we booked there for that because I had heard that they were like really accommodating and like they were amazing amazing like I recommend them all the time I do too it's Southside loft for you people in the Chattanooga area if you need I'm like always in the Facebook groups now yeah because I think they can accommodate what 50 people I think it was and they have like napkins chargers decor like it was insane and they she said all of that stuff up exactly how we asked her to do it yeah like yeah it was phenomenal I cannot recommend them enough okay so what was your favorite part of wedding day I don't know I have a favorite part of your wedding day

 okay well I'll say I do have a regret we became such good friends it was so sad that you weren't at my wedding that's my one regret too because we were we had two venues you have it a big team so like part of your team stayed at the ceremony but the way that we had booked it the reception had to be set up during the ceremony some of the ceremony and so by the time we got to wedding day we were such good friends that I was like

 I wanted you to be at my wedding so bad about it but like that's my one regret about your event it's like right there yes like I wish yeah I wish I would have done that so good differently but then I watch the video and I'm like we being on my couch

 I don't know I have a lot of favorite parts of the day I think I wanted the day especially leading up I wanted it to feel like it was a special day with our people and with each other that just happened to be photography like photographed yeah like it was and so we built a lot of margin into our day for many reasons but we built a lot of margin it just didn't feel rushed it didn't feel overwhelming it was really organized it was really simple like our ceremony venue was really simple it wasn't complicated it was complicated to park and get there but you know I finished just downtown so yeah but like it was really pretty and it was a perfect day but I think also my favorite part of this ceremony was that we just were really intentional about really important moments yeah and which you know I said earlier like I never really had a Pinterest board for my wedding growing up you know it's not something I did and I think the big thing is well one like as I got older I was like I'm kind of losing hope here but like I was one part but then the second part was I always knew that I wanted our wedding to be significant and personal to us and until I figured out who I was marrying I didn't I felt like I couldn't play in the wedding yeah and so I feel like when I look back on our wedding it was so us yes there was a couple things that were really special I surprised my dad with the song that we were walking down to the aisle I've never seen my dad blubber so much he's not a like big crier so that was really really sweet and just it just felt really significant really sacred and holy in that we also like right before the ceremony because we had so much time like we brought our whole wedding party and all of our families to the back room and we did just a prayer together and it was just a really like again really like sacred moment that like this was bigger than us like yeah I feel like that was a theme that Nick and I wanted was like yes this is our day but our journey which is a whole story for another day but like or you can listen to my podcast and hear it but like our journey we wouldn't be where we're at without our people and so to be able to sit and to sit in a room with all of our most important people and just like just really just mark this moment was so so important so I love that and we had some other like significant moments like significant songs and and those kind of things so I just feel like this ceremony sometimes when I hear people talking about their weddings like the ceremony is like the check the box like that's the legal thing to do like that's like like you do it you do the vows like whatever let's get to the party right yeah and I just feel like this we didn't do that we made the ceremony really really special yeah and I know I've mentioned like five of my favorite parts but one thing that really stands out to me is when our officiant pronounced us husband and wife yeah the eruption of cheers and celebration like it would make me cry now like it was just a moment of yeah victory it was a moment of excited because like our like our journeys in singleness have been wild and you know there was times where neither one of us knew or thought if it was gonna happen and so just like you can hear it even in our highlight film just like the screams and the cheers just well that was Jen that

 was like 90% Jen I love y'all's wedding party they are awesome like every one of them was so nice and so kind and like just you could tell they were like honored to be there she is hilarious first of all but when y'all kiss and then when you were like pronounced I was like girl is getting it like

 celebrating there was like multiple times like as we've talked to people afterwards you know people are like like oh yeah there's a moment I was about to start like running around in circles like I was not so like I don't have a phrase break here like it was just really really special and so I love that we did like different things weird thing I think one of the weird things I did was when I was walking down the aisle which was 82 feet it was so long it was so skinny like so narrow yeah but one of the things we did is that we requested that everyone stayed seated yeah I love that as a 5-1 person like it like if I'm an extra fringe guest yeah I can see the bride walking down the aisle the whole time cuz I'm kind of sitting in the back yeah but like when it's family members or when I'm a bridesmaids I'm sitting in the front and I can never see people walking down the aisle and so yeah one I wanted to be able to see everybody yeah that's five one I wouldn't be able to see everybody but to why would everyone to see me yeah so I had everyone sit down yeah and I was like this is gonna be so weird but no it was

 I've actually had several like that's certain to be a thing now yeah and I understand the whole like traditional side of like people standing and that's great but like I can't tell you how many times the brides that choose to have people stay seated have said to me like why been to a wedding and I couldn't even see them yeah some like six four guys saying in front of you or you're in the middle of like the seating area if you're a guest you know when you're like trying to

 yeah that's like my whole entire story or you get to see them for the like the sliver of time that they walk past your row or like between the people of like that yeah I love that and then photography and videography is just a mess because you can't see well yeah our our team was six one so we it would have been fine for us but like they would have been able to see it just fine but like but yes anyways what's your favorite part of my wedding

 I think my favorite part of the wedding was when you guys got introduced at the reception only because I wasn't at the ceremony but like and then when you guys were dancing and like everybody got their cell phones out and we're like play think them around

 oh good it was so cute that was our groomsman cuz

 yeah because the venue the reception venue had the b-shirt lighting and just some can't it was very like moody and like oh moody it was just like a fairyland of like light so it just added to that and like that was probably my favorite I

 like and then it was not planned by the way the cell phone lights was not planned I figured we're in our first dance and like halfway through our first dance when the groomsman takes out his cell phone and starts you know doing the concert wave of the cell phone and the whole everybody gold yeah and you can tell the difference in the content and just like it changed the lighting and it changed the whole mood of it to have all of those yeah lights it was really

 special it's like it was magical my one take away from your wedding not for myself but just in general and we're gonna end on this note is vendors please communicate with your couples in a timely fashion yeah because that not just from a planner perspective but just when people book vendors like you're putting your trust in them like deliver what they say they're going to deliver in the time frame they say they're going to do it they're gonna hold their end of the contract they're gonna whatever the case may be yeah obviously it's different vendor to vendor sure then when you go dark and you don't respond to the couple you don't respond to the planner you don't respond to phone calls social media whatever like that breaks that trust

 Oh trust completely broken yeah yeah I had a vendor in particular that they I was bamboozled they were great in the booking process yeah so good in the booking process and then in the months and weeks and days leading up to the wedding the behavior was so different yeah and did not come to through delivering so much so that I like mid wedding planning process like renegotiated yeah contract and being like you're not holding up your end of the deal even before we got to wedding day yeah and so I need to renegotiate this because I need to take on some of this myself because I don't trust you whatsoever I had from a bride perspective like I had nightmares like I had like five or six like bad nightmares bad bad nightmares the only time I was anxious my wedding day was in the 20 minutes leading up to the time that they were supposed to show up yeah and I'm like I mean I was hyperventilating I was getting my makeup done and crimson who I know you'll you'll have much but like crimson is like getting my makeup done and she's like are you okay like I'm sweating like I'm so nervous which I'm sure is a wedding vendor you see nervous brides but I was so chill all day yeah those 20 minutes because I was like I have literally had nightmares about yeah I'm not showing up and because trust was broken you're absolutely right like yeah when there's not and it's it's one thing to be able to like life happens yes it's a and I'm pretty reasonable like I feel like I'm a very reasonable person especially being a business owner myself like I understand like life just be life in but like to feel like I'm in the dark and I don't know if these people are gonna show up and I don't know if they're gonna say what they said they were gonna do and all these things or fight with me there was multiple times where I had to stand up for myself and fight for like no this is what we've talked about like this is what we've agreed upon it's like I'm not really a bridesmaid I mean you can tell me you really know like I don't feel like I was a bridal but I had to put my foot down yeah and because this your right contract trust was broken yes

 everybody has their phone and like as a single mom of two who works full-time runs a business full-time my teenager is extremely busy and can't drive so I'm running her everywhere if my older daughter can't and we're juggling schedules it takes 30 seconds to respond to that yeah or less and it is okay to say hey I saw your message I'm in the middle of something I'll get back with you in a couple days sure

 that's all it takes yeah that's it yeah but when I get ghosted for months on time yeah insane like I should not as a bride I should not be having to message you every single day and be like your deadlines coming up yeah

 or even just like as the planner like hey the bride is freaking out like we have not heard from you like what is that that and I understand people get busy there's obviously busy seasons and weddings and like that and I'm totally understandable about like that's not okay it's okay in my opinion for I have a 48-hour limit number one I'm user-responsive like immediately because you need better boundaries my 80 day I can't if I don't do it though I won't I won't do it like I'll forget about it yeah but like a 48-hour window like I tell my team if they reach out to you in 48 hours you should respond I don't care if it's okay I'll get back to you something yeah but to go four to eight weeks insane

 yeah insane yeah did not talk for months yeah like it is not and it's not even just like because I do think there's there is a hurry-up and wait in oh for the wedding flow like you hurry up you book all your vendors really really early and then you're just kind of sitting in this lull yeah until you start getting like closer and so there I do get there's a hurry-up and wait but it was like I don't know like at one point I think I said like did they die like

 you literally were like I wonder if they're okay like I hope

 they're okay like all their social media like have I'm like trying to stop them like I'm like I'm actually concerned because I had no reason to believe that this was like a scam or anything I got yeah so that's why I say like going back to I said at the beginning like being able to vet and I feel like I'm again I hate research but I'm a good researcher and I feel like I really did vet this vendor like really really well I feel like I did I feel like I trusted my gut like I had multiple meetings with them before booking them and the one thing I wish I did differently other than booking them but like the one thing I wish I did differently was I mean that did them have so many meetings got so many like things from them like reviews from them like other content from them like all those kind of things I felt like was sold on the vision I felt overwhelmingly excited about it yeah the one thing I didn't do was go on their social media and ask that bride would you hire them again and I could bet you yeah I I'm always seen reviews we've been seen reviews of people being like I wouldn't hire them again yeah so and that's I wouldn't hire them that's the only vendor I wouldn't hire again so yeah like I that's why I say to like to brides because I don't want to like freak people out because it is scary like you are trusting people with elements of your day yeah and you're trusting people with planning like all kind of stuff and so that's the golden question like go every bride wants to talk about their wedding it's fine if somebody randomly messaged me on Instagram right now said hey I saw you were tagged in this photo this vendor tagged you here yeah like can I ask you questions about your wedding I would tell them everything they wanted about my wedding yeah I could have done that like

 I've been like even even they're not my client yeah like they'll tell you everything about my wedding it's almost basic group so like have you worked with so-and-so I'm like hey planer here I've worked with them and people messaged me what was your experience yeah I'll tell you for sure absolutely so that's else we have to wrap it

 up that's that's my thing that I would say is just like ask don't be afraid to ask those questions slide into the DMS of other brides of yeah vendors that you're thinking about you can ever the Instagram world it's all connected slide into those dams and be like hey would you hire them again what was your experience like

 and be honest y'all be honest yeah thanks so much for coming I'm glad you're here I

 know it's like bride bride and planner turn friends yeah we've only actually spent this is like our fifth day together yeah we didn't live in the

 same yeah for sure I thought we talked all the time though I would talk about that um okay join us next episode thanks to build something media we're out



 yeah yeah