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The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck
The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck is a documentary-style audio descent into a place that shouldn't exist—but very much insists that it does.
Once a forgotten military outpost in the depths of Northern Ontario, Bootstuck has taken on a life of its own. Discovered only through a pile of mislabeled cassette tapes at a Sudbury garage sale, the story of Bootstuck slowly unravels through scattered interviews, cryptic clues, and increasingly bizarre residents. The deeper you listen, the more you realize — this isn't just a town. It's a puzzle. And somewhere in that puzzle?
A plane crash that changed everything.
Somewhere between folklore, found audio, and fever dream, Bootstuck blurs the line between documentary and delusion—offering listeners a place to get lost in, over and over again.
The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck
Tape 18 - Buckles, Boats and Bootstuck Currency
The Bootstuck tape machine coughs up another bewildering recording featuring a long, one-sided voicemail, a heated discussion about boot buckles, and a serious deep dive into gravy economics. The townsfolk debate the practical dangers of decorative footwear, the true purpose of a “gravy boat,” and whether Canadian Tire money can be legally used when the nearest Canadian Tire is 400 miles away. Meanwhile, we meet Luke Warm (from Yonder), who apparently measures up at six acorns taller than most. Bootstuck’s logic remains circular, its traditions questionable, and its gravy—plentiful.
www.bootstuck.com
You've been redirected to an automated voice operating system message taking device. What you should do is leave your name and telephone number, not just a regular number, because last time someone left me 782, and that was difficult. So please, your telephone number and your name, and that's the message you should leave, and then say something nice.
Speaker 01:Hey, how you doing? I would like to tell you another story about something different. You want to try and put a buckle on your boot. Now, sometimes it's not going to quite work out just the way you hoped to. Don't try to tighten it up. Ain't nothing going to tighten on the buckle on there. If anything, it's going to make your boot wrinkly. I've noticed people in boot stock are pretty well versed on the boot. And so why is it you're against this particular kind? Well, think about a buckle now. It's one of them things that kind of can just get in the way. What would a buckle do for you if you had a horse? Buckle your saddle. You can buckle your stirrups and you can buckle anything else you want to do it now that's all right i see so now think about a buckle on everything like a tennis racket that's not really going to do you much good now ain't it hey actually a buckle on the cap would probably work back buckle on the cap that'll work yep write it down Sorry about that. So other than that, the buckle on the boot is probably not going to be what you want to do. In any way, you're probably going to get your boot stuck on something because of the buckle there. Now what you got? Right. One less boot. That's for sure. I wanted to tell you something about another thing, though. Is that okay? Sure. Yeah. What do you want it to be? We were talking before about the cup of gravy. No, that's one of the things that doesn't get talked about enough. Where do you get a cup of gravy near you? We don't have that. And I just learned the other day that you have it. Yep. Oh, yeah, we got lots of gravy up there. We got dark gravy, a little darker gravy. If you leave it a week, it's going to be real thick gravy, too. But that's okay a little bit, because it goes down smooth. It's like a nice little coating on your throat. How many flavors of gravy do you have? Seven flavors of gravy. One of them is like a white wine sauce. It's not a big selection. One time, there was a carving competition in Bootstuck. Dave made a spaghetti sculpture. He needed something thick to stand up the spaghetti. So he used a gravy boat is kind of like a pirate ship and it floats in the water so you could put a gravy boat outside it floats in the water i don't think that's what gravy boat means i know that a boat can float and so can many other things to go back to the gravy for a second if we could so you have a story you saw multiple flavors of gravy like they were different grades of coffee and i know you guys don't do coffee up there do a lot of people come in and just drink a cup of hot Gravy? No, everybody likes it hot, you know. Some people like it lukewarm, like Luke. He doesn't like it hot at all. You can have it cold if you want, but you're going to have to wait a while. I assume one of the residents of Bootstock is named Luke Warm? Nope. Luke is from yonder. Yep. Luke Warm from yonder. Yep. He's a nice guy. Got a cold shoulder. Yeah, he's a bit taller than me. I'd say probably about six acorns taller. And he stands on the ladder. He's much taller than that. So that's okay, a little bit sometimes. Acorns are a unit of measurement? Yep. We use them for measuring things. Also trading with money. You use them for money? The money out here is hard to spend. It's got a man, and on his hat is a toque. And he's got a curly mustache. And a Canadian man. That money is hard to spend. You mean Canadian tire money? What? Got a whole... And you use that for currency in bootstrap. Yeah, that's great. So back to the Canadian tire money. So you can't spend it, but you use it as currency, even though you don't have a Canadian tire store. But we still like to count it. Oh, my God.
