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The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck
The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck is a documentary-style audio descent into a place that shouldn't exist—but very much insists that it does.
Once a forgotten military outpost in the depths of Northern Ontario, Bootstuck has taken on a life of its own. Discovered only through a pile of mislabeled cassette tapes at a Sudbury garage sale, the story of Bootstuck slowly unravels through scattered interviews, cryptic clues, and increasingly bizarre residents. The deeper you listen, the more you realize — this isn't just a town. It's a puzzle. And somewhere in that puzzle?
A plane crash that changed everything.
Somewhere between folklore, found audio, and fever dream, Bootstuck blurs the line between documentary and delusion—offering listeners a place to get lost in, over and over again.
The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck
TAPE 46 - The Hot Chocolate Day Ruffle Kerfuffle
Another one from the Sudbury box that reads like half a weather report and half a late-night infomercial. It begins with someone solemnly tuned to the “hot chocolate channel,” explaining how to make your cocoa the exact temperature you desire — and, when it cools, how to rescue it with a scoop of something Bootstuck calls hotener. Caleb is dispatched to “boil up another pot” while the rest of the room debates whether a glass will do the job.
The day turns stranger fast. Background noise (a “ruffle kerfuffle”) and what sound like two old ladies trading barbs bleed into a description of the morning: the speaker claims the sky was on fire, the woods briefly glowing red, then the birds coming out and singing in a language no one else understands. Our narrator’s job is revealed—self-appointed weather tracker and jacket-adviser for a town where everyone owns one jacket, so his utility is, at best, ceremonial.
Food and ritual thread through the tape: gravy with optional hotener becomes breakfast, and the idea of sipping medicinalized beverages is treated as perfectly ordinary. The recording collapses into familiar Bootstuck chaos — insults, a demand to “kick my ass,” and someone yelling they have to make coffee and toast — leaving the listener less informed than when they started, but oddly hungry and a little warmer for it.
www.bootstuck.com
you should stir your chocolate if you do not drink it to your temperature liking it will not necessarily be hot you should have a hot one but if you want a mild chocolate if you want a cold chocolate you can have it I am having a hot chocolate as it's a hot chocolate day.
SPEAKER_02:Sorry, I'm listening to the hot chocolate channel here. Let's see if I can get bootstuck back. Hello?
SPEAKER_01:Hello? Did you hear the hot chocolate man?
SPEAKER_02:You heard that too.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I did. He was going on about making your chocolate hot or cold or whatever you want. We do things like that here too, you know.
SPEAKER_02:I'm sure you do.
SPEAKER_01:Hang on, I'm speaking. And you left it outside and it wasn't a sunny day. What would happen? That's right, it'd get a little bit cold. A little bit cold. So what we do, we take it inside and we just add some hottener to it.
SPEAKER_02:Hottener?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, you got hotener where you are, what do you do? If you had a tea, maybe you like tea, we make tea out of cedar, cedar tea, it gets cold. So take it inside, put some hotener in it, and then there you go. Yep. Caleb's going to boil up another pot of hotener right now. Caleb, make that hotener so it's ready because my chocolate's
SPEAKER_03:getting cold. Sit down. My answer is I get a pair of glasses I can see out of.
SPEAKER_02:Goodness, what's all that noise?
SPEAKER_01:That happens to be a ruffle kerfuffle. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Would you like to have a piece of candy? I don't want a piece of candy.
UNKNOWN:All right.
SPEAKER_01:Like a scurry in a hurry. All sorts of little fur balls going everywhere. Yeah, can you see it? Wouldn't want to get too close. Let's move over here. I
SPEAKER_03:don't have my hairnet on. What the hell do you want?
SPEAKER_01:Caleb, throw a rock and run.
SPEAKER_03:I said, quit looking at all those pictures. I haven't seen them before. Yeah, but Jesus, they make you sad. She's so dumb.
SPEAKER_02:That sounds like two old ladies.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, well, sometimes that's what it sounds like. So it's morning time today. The fire was on the sky. Morning time today, the sky was on fire.
SPEAKER_02:Morning time?
SPEAKER_01:This day. Early. Burning up. Yep. The morning time. No fire. Yeah. The woods was like...
SPEAKER_02:red. And you had a sky fire? Is that what you said?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it looked like a fire in the sky or aliens taking over. So it's morning time.
SPEAKER_02:What's a morning like in Bootstuck? What's a morning routine? How does everybody start their day?
SPEAKER_01:Well, I can't tell you because most of them start their day with their eyes closed and so do I, so I can't see them. But I can tell you about me. So I wake up and open my eyes. I wake up in the dark time, go outside and watch the morning happen. Yep. So the trees go on fire a little bit, goes away, and then the birds comes out and says, Like that. Kind of like that, but he talks in a different language. And then from there, what I do is I go and I put on a cup of gravy and I add some hotener to it if necessary. And then after that, I'll go outside and I will... So I'm a weather tracker. I like to track the weather. Yep. And I'll have a look up in the sky and determine what the day will be. And then from there, I'll tell everybody what jacket to wear. Everybody's only got one jacket, so I don't think my job is very useful.
SPEAKER_03:You're so damn dumb, it isn't funny. Kick my ass! Yeah, you're pain in the ass! You are squat! You are so squat! I don't have my hairnet on! Kick my ass! I feel like kicking and not kissing it.
UNKNOWN:Uh-oh.
SPEAKER_03:Hello, what the hell do you want now? Say where are you, you damn fool? Bullshit. I gotta make my coffee. I gotta make my toast. I hate you.
