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The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck
The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck is a documentary-style audio descent into a place that shouldn't exist—but very much insists that it does.
Once a forgotten military outpost in the depths of Northern Ontario, Bootstuck has taken on a life of its own. Discovered only through a pile of mislabeled cassette tapes at a Sudbury garage sale, the story of Bootstuck slowly unravels through scattered interviews, cryptic clues, and increasingly bizarre residents. The deeper you listen, the more you realize — this isn't just a town. It's a puzzle. And somewhere in that puzzle?
A plane crash that changed everything.
Somewhere between folklore, found audio, and fever dream, Bootstuck blurs the line between documentary and delusion—offering listeners a place to get lost in, over and over again.
The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck
TAPE 53 - A Pocket Full of Slaps
A confused caller accidentally goes live on the air and immediately loses his composure, setting the tone for another chaotic dispatch from Bootstuck. Between jam jars, smoke-filled air, and impromptu fire dances, the locals’ musical ambitions get derailed by missing spoons, homemade concerts, and a mysterious old man who may—or may not—have threatened someone’s life. When the tape recorder clicks on, we hear the chilling voice of a stranger offering a pocket rummage before the narrator bolts in panic and joy at once.
It’s unclear whether Bootstuck has been visited by danger, absurdity, or both—but one thing’s certain: someone’s got a pocket full of something, and it’s probably not candy.
www.bootstuck.com
Hello?
Speaker:Hi, am I on the air?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
unknown:Fuck.
Speaker 2:My lord. Hey, how you doing? What's your name? Hi, am I on the air? Yeah.
unknown:Fuck.
Speaker 2:Smack smack. Good morning. Who are you? Am I on? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, cool. Fuck you. Woo! We got problems. Hello? Are you there? Are you talking to me or am I just talking to thin air or thick air?
Speaker 3:Oh my god, you're gonna be kidding me.
Speaker 2:I ain't sure. It might be smoky. Hello?
Speaker 3:Hello? Are you there?
Speaker 2:Sorry about that. Jerry just got his finger right out, baby little hands right inside that jar there. Couldn't decide if it was rasp or strawberry, and scooped out the last two fingers of jam. Whoop. Yep. Also can't find the lid. Yep. We had a smoky time here in Bootstock, you know. Made a fire. Real hot, hot. Danced around it. Yep. Woo! Like this. I danced around the fire. Dance around the fire. I dance around the fire. Like they did it around three times. Yep, tripped once. Whoop, stopped.
Speaker 3:You're not a very good guitar player.
Speaker 2:No, no, no. But you should hear me on the jugs. You ever hear me on the jugs? One day I'll play a whoop-whoop for you. It's a pretty good time.
Speaker 3:Oh, whoop.
Speaker 2:And spoons, but I lost one, so I only got a spoon, and it doesn't make the same noise no more.
Speaker 3:What do you do for music up in Bootstuck these days?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. No, we take suggestions from other people. We used to just listen to the things that we knew in life and love, and then we took suggestions from other people from different places, and now we're listening to the other things and we're kind of moving our head a lot more. Yep.
Speaker 3:I see. Do you have concerts up there?
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, sometimes Caleb likes to put on a concert, kind of like how Dave puts on a movie show. Only he holds up an album cover and we say yes or no, uh, and then he'll play the album for us. Uh-oh.
Speaker 3:What's that?
Speaker 2:Well, there's a long line. Real long line. Maybe we'll go somewhere else instead, yeah? Maybe not. Maybe we're stuck. Stuck in a line. Yeah. Woo! Four people standing in a row. Oh, never mind. They're watching a bird. Yep. That's uh that's you don't want to know what's happening around here. No, no, I'm gonna tell you. Hang on to getting into getting into the swing of things. Okay, so what happened?
Speaker 3:What what happened?
Speaker 2:Well, I don't really want to talk about it, but there was an old man that came around and kind of got me all jumbled up and tied into not the source. Explain. Well, my arms are all twisted around, and then my torso is nearly backwards. Hold on, I'm just gonna So um I I got all discombobulated. Oh love to board. A man came to me and threatened me, threatened my life. Did he? Yeah, I think so. Anyway, I was pretty scared. Came up to me and I'll tell you what he said. He said it, he said it in a really rough voice. He said right to my face.
Speaker 3:Is this somebody that you who who who was it?
Speaker 2:Well, I'll play. I've recorded it for you. Let me play it for you. Hang on a second. I got the tape machine recorder box here somewhere. Click. How do you do the click button? Oh, like this.
Speaker 1:Hey! Come over here. Hey, I got a pocket full of slaps, I got a pocket full of treats. Who wants to come over here and have a rummage? Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.
Speaker 2:Well, that's terrible. Yeah. I didn't really know what quite to make of that. Whoo! Goodness. So I turned and ran. Wee! We say that when we're having fun. What if you're having fun by yourself? You say, ah!
Speaker 3:I think you're free to say whatever you'd like.
Speaker 2:I don't know why we're referring to other people while we're having fun.
Speaker 3:I don't know why you're shouting.
Speaker 2:I'm coming down! I'll take one of these too. Oh, I gotta tell you. Oh, I have uh I have a whole purse full of robots to set.
