The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck

TAPE 56 - Bowling for Stars and Purple Kush

Richard Vandentillaart / Nick Vardon Season 1 Episode 56

This tape opens with what sounds like a cheap local radio ad for World of Bowling — a chaotic pitch about “hard or soft balls” that fades into a conversation so derailed it feels like a hallucination in real time. The interviewer tries to talk about bowling, but in Bootstuck, “bowling” apparently involves rolling people down a hill and occasionally throwing Caleb at the problem.

From there, the discussion drifts through roosters in boxes, gardens full of “purple kush lilacs,” and the revelation that Bootstuck’s solution to its drug problem was to simply give everyone the drugs. The town is reportedly “under wraps,” which seems to mean “hallucinating together.” Soon, people are catching stars, walking on their hands, and opening metaphorical — and literal — “polka dot doors.”

By the time the tape winds down, reality itself begins to blur. A looping fragment of the conversation dissolves into a strange, hypnotic song — a patchwork of sampled voices, laughter, and background noise that feels like it’s being transmitted from inside a mushroom cloud. It’s impossible to tell where the music starts or the talking ends, but it evokes the unsettling, kaleidoscopic drift of Pink Floyd’s “Brain Damage.”

The result is one of Bootstuck’s most disorienting and strangely beautiful recordings — a descent into the township’s collective, psychedelic mind.


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Speaker:

World of Bowling at Cincinnati's only discount pro shop featuring top quality balls in the best bags anywhere. Hard or soft. World of Bowling at 7933700 convenient locations on the corner of Kenwood and Kenwood and at the Kenwood Bowl. Now through Wednesday, you'll find expert drilling hard or soft. Visit the World of Balls soon or just call 6995.

Speaker 2:

I'm sorry, you were saying something about bowling?

Speaker 1:

I was just talking about bowling. You ever do it? Woo! Stop bowling. Yep, yep. But don't wear bowler hats to bowling on a Thursday. No, ain't propriate. It's kind of like a rubber chicken on any other day but a Tuesday. Yeah. Think about that. Now back to bowling. You ever do it? Throw a ball down a hill, knocking people down? Woo! It's a good game.

Speaker 2:

Wait, you you roll the bowling pole down a hill and knock people down? That's not what bowling is.

Speaker 1:

What's bowling to you?

Speaker 2:

Bowling is a wooden laneway with a little gutter on each side, and there's pins at the end. Roll the ball down.

Speaker 1:

And sometimes the ball gets stuck in there, kind of like that. And then you gotta get a ladder or throw Caleb and he'll get it. You ever do that? Kind of the same, right? Throw the ball, knock the people down. Bowling, we do it uh with five people and ten people. You do the same thing?

Speaker 2:

I don't even know why I try.

Speaker 1:

Well, you gotta try, otherwise the people just stand there. Yeah. Anyway, sometimes we get them to move around and complicate things a bit for us.

Speaker 2:

What's all that noise?

Speaker 1:

Well, that's just the rooster going on about the silliness over here. We'll shut him up for you. Hang on, I'll put him back in his box.

Speaker 2:

It never ceases to amaze me what happens in the background here.

Speaker 1:

We should see what happens in the foreground. Wow. Look at that. Yeah, we got a garden growing now. It's got full of flowers. Pink ones, purple ones, blue ones, green ones, yellow ones, blue ones, pink ones, purple ones. Yep. Did I say purple? We got lots of purple. That's purple power, JoJo. We got lots of purple. Take the lilacs. I think it's cushion. Ooh, purple kush is nice. Woo! Yep, that's a good time. We all like to do that around a campfire. We have magical plants, you see? And what we can do is we can roll them up into little little things and have them as like a fire treat, caveman style. Or we also have another type that grow in the backwoods near shed six. It's moldy back there. Nobody goes there. But once in a while there's a couple mushrooms that pop up. Like that. Big shiny cow. Oh, like a hood. Protecting them from rain, I would suspect. Anywho, those are fun. I'm gonna have one this afternoon.

Speaker 2:

This answers so many questions now. Um so do you know. Oh, that's good.

Speaker 1:

I like when I can answer a bunch of questions we're just talking one time.

Speaker 2:

We've been speaking for several weeks now, and I don't really believe he's answered.

Speaker 1:

Not at the same time, though. We've had our conversations for about four minutes, not much longer. So I don't know what you're going on about week.

Speaker 2:

I don't think I've ever actually ever finished a question while interviewing you.

Speaker 1:

Well, that's okay. I don't mind you asking a few more.

Speaker 2:

I have to. The drug problem in Bootstuck?

Speaker 1:

No problem at all. We got bad under wraps. Yeah, we're all doing it now.

Speaker 2:

Uh I'm sorry, what?

Speaker 1:

Well, there ain't no problem. We had a problem because a couple people felt left out, you know? Yeah, whoop, whoop, because we didn't give them none? Nope, nope. We just gave them some of the magic mushroom caps, and they're all right. Well, they're running around right now. Oh, what is that? Catching stars. Yeah, catching stars, putting them in jars, whoop, have fun.

Speaker 2:

Those people sound like they're hallucinating.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, they're having a great time. They're hilarious. That's how you say it. Drop it off the bar. Yeah, think about wait, hold on. They're coming over. Oh, oh, oh! Oh my. Oh, he's walking on his hands with his shoes on his hands. That's me. How'd he get to do that? Oh, Jerry's got his legs. Who's yours? I guess that's Jerry.

Speaker 2:

I have to say, so if we're for Bootstock to solve its drug problem, you just gave some to everybody.

Speaker 1:

Well, we put it in a communal bowl, you see, and everybody can put their hand in and have a letter. That's nice. Otherwise, you can go in the back and just roll up them leaves to think they're birch.

Speaker 2:

Okay, so clearly marijuana grows near wherever you are. Do you harvest enough to last you through the winter?

Speaker 1:

Harvest?

Speaker 2:

Well, yes. Collect.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. Acquire. Grab. Whoa, hang on now. Yeah, we have all sorts of recreational activity device. So we get along pretty good. Not much gets done, but we have a lot of fun. Yeah. Yeah. They can you can you can you can share it with the fans. You can they can share with a friend. They can you can you can they can purple? We got our purple.

Speaker 2:

Well, this opens up new doors into how I It opens up all sorts of doors and creativity.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you should have seen the polka dot door that got open yesterday. Woo!

Speaker 2:

Every time I try and steer the conversation in a documentary style manner, you manage to foil me by creating the largest interview style rabbit holes that I've ever encountered. How do you do it? Is it the drugs?

Speaker 1:

How do you style documentary? I'll put that one up on the board for later. Documentary! Documentary! Never mind, cross it off the board. Did you get it up? Oh, Caleb got his finger stuck in the hole again. Cam stop running. Alright, gotta go, that's right.