The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck

TAPE 67 The Bootstuck Art Scene

Richard Vandentillaart / Nick Vardon Season 1 Episode 67

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0:00 | 4:20

A routine call to Bootstuck quickly turns into a tour of the town’s rapidly expanding art scene. With Caleb busy hanging pictures “upside down but sideways,” it’s revealed that Bootstuck has recently welcomed an artist — and the results are… unconventional. Caleb’s latest project involves painting the outside view on the inside walls of the house and the inside of the house on the outside, creating what may be either a groundbreaking artistic statement or a logistical nightmare.

Elsewhere in town, artistic expression flourishes in many forms: Dave’s spaghetti sculptures, handcrafted beaded bracelets, and a series of increasingly confusing pictures of pictures. Plans are also underway for a full Bootstuck art show featuring “artisanals and art facts,” though organizers remain wary of one very enthusiastic attendee known only as Waving Tony.

As usual, the cultural boom raises more questions than answers — but in Bootstuck, that’s generally considered a sign that things are going well.

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SPEAKER_01

Hello? That's interesting. Things anyway. I don't know. I just I'm just a guy phoning a weird place in a weird part of Ontario. None of this makes any sense. None of it seems to be for anything. I'm just told to do it. So here I am. Yeah, I already said hello. Well, I have some questions here for you, if you don't mind. Wait, hold on. I wanted to say something.

SPEAKER_00

Caleb! I need you go round back, get that thing from round back, bring it around front to the side, hang it up upside down, but sideways, upside down, sideways. So I wanted to say something, but wasn't to you. Hello? What's Caleb doing back there? He's moving things around from the side to the back, hanging them upside down but sideways. Yeah, he's got three of them to do.

SPEAKER_01

Three, three, what? Uh photographs? Some artwork? Yep. Really?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, we're getting real well, it's real nice stuff.

SPEAKER_01

We got an artist that came to town. Oh, really? And and I'm curious, what's what's art what's the art scene in Bootstuck?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, we'll make a song about that one. Art C what's what's that mean?

SPEAKER_00

Everybody painting, everybody's crayon. Oh no. I'm not too sharp. Hold on. I got Dolcrayon. You ever have that problem?

SPEAKER_01

Del crayon?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Uh no. Art. Well, we do paintings and we do carving. Dave's the best at carve-offs, and Caleb's the best at paint-offs. I'm really good at making little beaded bracelets.

SPEAKER_01

Beaded bracelets? Okay. And Caleb is a is a painter? He's a painter. He's real good.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Well, what does he do? Landscapes or uh portraits or Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

He does everything. Mostly what he does is he paints things that are outside, inside, and then we think he's outside all the time. Paints it on the walls, paint it on the windows, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So when you're in the house and you look at the wall, he's painted what you would see if there was no wall there.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and then the outside of the house is what's painted from behind the house, inside of the house, and that's why he's renting from the back to the side. So he understands. Then he paints it all.

SPEAKER_01

Where's the house? So you paint the exterior on the interior, and you paint the interior on the exterior.

SPEAKER_00

He's doing a real good job, but he also has logs to saw. Wintertime and all.

SPEAKER_01

I don't know if that's demented or genius. Yeah, so we're allowed to throw stones. Oh my gosh. What's Caleb hanging up on the wall right now?

SPEAKER_00

Oh, he's hanging up three pictures. One's a picture of the first picture, and the second one's a picture of the first two pictures. And can you guess what the third one is?

SPEAKER_01

A picture of the picture of the pictures of the picture. Nope, close. It's a tractor. Well, uh, that's very what about yourself? What what's your artistic contribution to bootstuck stuff?

SPEAKER_00

Well, I told you I'll make bracelets. I make really good beaded bracelets. Yeah, I'll make one for you next time you come up. Oh, doctor. What do you think? If you're a 25 or a 28, yeah, I'll figure it out.

SPEAKER_01

Uh sorry, a 25 or 28? What's that?

SPEAKER_00

How many beads do you need?

SPEAKER_01

Oh, to go around my I don't know. I wouldn't worry too much about it. I've got hundreds. I don't worry much about bootstock. So you're a beadist, and I know Dave does the spaghetti sculptures. Yeah, very well. Yep.

SPEAKER_00

Give me a spaghetti sculpture looking like a bowl of riggettone.

SPEAKER_01

A bowl of Tony?

SPEAKER_00

Rigatoni. Not waving Tony. Remember him? Oh, I do. Rigatoni.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. Different, yeah. Oh, hang on. Is that is that waving Tony in the background?

SPEAKER_00

Hold on, let me look.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Everything.

SPEAKER_00

I didn't even know. I can hear him. You can't hear that. Yeah, that's a fast wave. Clip-flap, clip-flap. How does that even pop? Look at him go. Woo! Mahat. Oh, hold on. No. Nope. Sorry.

SPEAKER_01

Um, all right, so back to the art scene.

SPEAKER_02

Art scene. Art scene! What's that mean? Art scene.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00

Getting real excited about it. We're having an art show. You should just come up and see the art show. We're gonna have like a whole hallway full of artisanals and art facts. Art is also gonna be there. Yeah, he'll just stand there, wave. Yeah, not Tony though. No, won't let him in.

SPEAKER_01

No.

SPEAKER_00

No.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, there he goes. Can you like close a window or something so we don't have to sure we can.

SPEAKER_00

We'll close the door too because we'll wind in there.