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The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck
The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck is a documentary-style audio descent into a place that shouldn't exist—but very much insists that it does.
Once a forgotten military outpost in the depths of Northern Ontario, Bootstuck has taken on a life of its own. Discovered only through a pile of mislabeled cassette tapes at a Sudbury garage sale, the story of Bootstuck slowly unravels through scattered interviews, cryptic clues, and increasingly bizarre residents. The deeper you listen, the more you realize — this isn't just a town. It's a puzzle. And somewhere in that puzzle?
A plane crash that changed everything.
Somewhere between folklore, found audio, and fever dream, Bootstuck blurs the line between documentary and delusion—offering listeners a place to get lost in, over and over again.
The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck
TAPE 69 - The Yellow Toilet Rug: A Formerly White Problem
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
A discussion about proper plumbing quickly unravels into a full-blown Bootstuck renovation crisis, as the town debates the future of its deeply questionable bathroom setup — including a permanently yellow “formerly white” toilet rug and a carpeted seat that may or may not be worth saving for winter.
With no real oversight beyond the self-appointed Arts and Craft Council (comprised entirely of the people having the conversation), plans shift toward rebuilding everything out of wood — whether practical or not. As usual, practical concerns spiral into something else entirely, touching on failed cleaning efforts, suspect mushroom consumption, and the realization that local “security” is more decorative than effective.
By the end, attention drifts toward erosion problems and urgent repairs at the beaver dam, proving once again that in Bootstuck, even the simplest fix — like turning off the water — is easier said than done.
www.bootstuck.com
It's things like plumbing and wiring, which matter in the long run, and I'm just not going to skimp on it.
Hey, well, kids full hands all older put up?
Why the fucked out of here in five minutes?
I'm afraid you won't save any money by using something else here.
So much for the goddamn five minute fucking job.
Anyway.
I'll fix it.
Try your fucking water off!
When you build, be sure you build.
Once. And forever.
Three minutes, turn your fucking water off.
It was called a cosy.
A cosy?
No way.
Creator shitter.
And then add a little shit rug, where you can put all your fur, your fur specimens inside that little shaggy shit rug.
Well, I'm glad you brought it up because I think we need to renovate the bathroom.
It's getting a little worn out.
A little rug that goes around the base of the toilet there.
I found out that it used to be white.
Well, it's never been light.
It's always been yellow.
Yeah, and it's starting to smell a bit.
I think the carpeted seat, which probably go, although that's handy in wintertime.
Well, here's the thing.
If we go and change the, the, the, the, the toilet rock, and then the seat covered, what are we going to have to do for the Kleenex box, we're going to have to replace that one too.
Well, if we can, I think maybe we should just build something out of work.
Is that something to Caleb?
Oh yeah, you could build anything out of wood.
You know how to build a shit rug out of work?
You know how to build a tournament, old homer out of work?
No, he don't know how to do that.
Well, can we run that past the Arch and Craft Council?
Maybe they could show.
I put on my shoot?
Left shoe, left to left shoes.
Hold on.
Well, hang on.
Who's on the council?
Well, that's you and me.
Oh.
Looks like we're getting a new shit.
I'm a new brother.
You know, buddy, we gotta get a cleaner.
I ran it by him.
They told me, well, they didn't say anything.
They were sleeping.
That's not what...
Oh, hold on.
I'll go tell them that was a mistake.
Hang on, I'll be right back.
Well, you're always going outside in the middle of the conversation.
It's funny.
My swing says it's getting real cold.
It's not going back and forth like it is to.
Yeah, my swing said it's almost touching the ground.
Oh, dear, double trouble.
Big a hole.
Maybe we could build ditch into the middle of the walking path to the comedy.
You can get an internal pocket.
Put it inside the leg of your pants, and then you can stash your boulder right there.
Well, that's interesting.
I do. Got something like that.
Maybe I could strap them up, give them some security.
Oh, that's pretty good, but I find that security doesn't really do much.
It's just a bunch of really tiny people in very large vests saying, please, and then you just run right by them.
Have you been eating those plants again?
The cat just, no, never again.
That one hurts for mushrooms.
Oh, the mushroom ones, just growing out by the side of the shed, like coming from underneath.
We tried to take the caps off, ran around with a cap on his head.
Mikey, what should be eating dovers anymore if I could be honest, truthful.
That's all right.
We shouldn't be eating the carrots either, but we're doing it.
We had erosion happen.
You know what that is?
I do.
That's something else we got to bring to counsel's attention because we got to get out to the beaver dam.
We're going to have to make some repairs.
We need to repair it.
Because.
Relax.
Goddamn damn beavers.
Axe, man.
You like my size?
The ocean.
Relax.
It's like a child, it'll call. .
Mark, next question, I've always wanted to be over quarters.
I don't think I want to be water.
I think I want to be just dry.
Uh oh.
Turn the fucking water off.
