Parenting Mutants

Liz

All right , welcome to our one blessed mess . We're Ben and Liz and we're parents of six kids that we had in eight years . We are keepers of eight chickens . We're currently homeschooling . We also have a entrepreneurial home and in the midst of it we have how many teenagers .

Ben

We have four teenagers , about to be five teenagers . Five Let that sink in just a moment . Yeah , almost five teenagers .

Liz

Five teenagers . I mean we're basically running a youth group in our house . You should see our food bill . It is unbelievable how much food these kids can eat , or the laundry stacks .

Ben

They're very big .

Liz

How about the smell when you walk into these teenage boys' rooms ? I mean , it's real .

Ben

It's almost like a wet dog smell . I don't know how else to say it . It's kind of unappealing . I would say that maybe .

Liz

Look , I just come in with air freshener . I'm putting thieves everywhere essential oils , everything that I can think of . But here's the deal . We have got an awesome topic that we want to dive into today , and it's pretty fun because I didn't know that when I married this lovely man that is my husband , that I actually married a mutant Ben's a mutant . Why don't you tell them ?

Ben

It's true , I had some genetic testing done and , believe it or not , I have a mutation on the 14th chromosomal pairing . I think I'm saying that right , don't crucify me . Is it the short ?

Liz

arm . Wait , is it the short arm ? Wait , how do we do this ? Is it the short arm or the long arm ? How do you do that ? I ?

Ben

don't know . You mean the T-Rex arm . Is that what you're saying ? Yeah , that's what I was trying to say , and then how do you do the long arm , short arm ?

Liz

Yeah , I don't know . Anyway , so there's a mutation no-transcript kind of rising more , and he had just received his diagnosis and so they wanted to test this . They paid for it , which was pretty awesome , the children's hospital we were at .

Ben

And then it was like a really in-depth form of testing , like a micro array or something or other test . It was very specific , it was very costly . I think if we had to pay for it it was going to be like about 10 grand for each test , each yeah .

Liz

So , we would never do it , we didn't have the money for it . So we agreed to it because why not ? And anyway , something comes back and they say we would like to get your DNA done for you , parents , we found something in our son and we want to see if you know , if there's something that's there and anyway ended up being that they rushed us through . Normally takes six months and within I think , like a couple of weeks we were in the geneticist's office .

Liz

But before we went into the geneticist's office which , by the way , if you've never been in front of a geneticist , it is the weirdest experience . It's weird . Why is it weird ?

Ben

Well , it's weird because the whole time when you're there , they're looking at you . They're like looking at the proportion of your head , they're checking the size of your ears , your nose , and it feels like you're kind of like Naked . Yeah , like you just Naked .

Ben

They're just analyzing you , you know and trying to figure out oh okay , could it be this , could it be ? And I think we found out later . It's like there's so many things that are determined by our genetics you know the shape of our faces , all these things and so , like , if you've got someone that studies this all the time , then they're able to pick out , um , these these things and see if , like your , your DNA kind of matches your physical form and and and what's driving what . And so it felt like you were just being analyzed .

Liz

It was wild and and here's the crazy thing we didn't even bring our son .

Ben

Right .

Liz

The guy was like the doctor was like you didn't bring your son . No , Nobody told us to bring our son , so then we had to get another appointment God bless them . And people are on the wait list for over six months just to get an appointment . You're on the wait list for six months to get an appointment within six months .

Ben

But we should say so , okay , so .

Liz

Yeah , so tell the story .

Ben

So say so , okay , so yeah , so tell the story . So they get the test right , right .

Liz

And then the geneticist is like okay , we want you two to do it , and so we're waiting about a week or two , I don't remember exactly how long , very quick , apparently I you get a phone call first , right , yeah , I get a phone call , I'm at home with the kids and I get a phone call and the lady on the other line I have caller id . Back then we had caller ID and I knew it was from the hospital . I knew where it was from and she says is your husband there ? I said no , but I'm his wife , can you tell me ? And she said no , I need to speak with him directly . And I'm thinking , oh my gosh , okay . I said well , he's at work , here's his number , give him a call . So back then we had IM , instant Messenger on AOL , I think it was AOL , wasn't it ?

Ben

Or was it Gmail ? I don't know . I don't want to get into all that because , good God help us , okay .

Liz

Anyways , because Ben can go down that rabbit trail about all the technologies and I'm just like did it work ? Okay , we did it Okay . So , anywho , I quickly message him and say , hey , Right , so you get a call .

Ben

Yeah . So I get a call and I can't remember if it was the geneticist or if it was someone helping , but they asked me how I was feeling . It's like . I pick up the phone I'm like hi , is this Ben ? Yes , this is he . He's like well , sir , this is someone for the doctor's office and I just would like to know how you're feeling today and , by the way , are you sitting down ? And so a couple of things are going through my head . When they asked this question because it was news to them that I had some type of genetic abnormality . But think about it , I've never been without that genetic abnormality . So my normal , I would never know if I'm feeling okay or not based on not having this deficiency or mutation . Right , it was almost like they were asking me if I had a cold and if I was able to know the difference between having a cold and not having a cold . So it's just wild , right ?

Liz

Yes , it was wild .

Ben

I've never not known what it feels like to not be a mutant . So yeah , it was a weird way to start out .

Liz

So they tell him basically , you , basically there's this , whatever , whatever . We want you to come in and we want to talk to you . So we do , we go in and , honestly , there was only one other person at the time and what they told us is that as they're doing this genetic testing , they're going to find people all over the world with all kinds of abnormalities . Why is that word so hard for me ? Anybody else out there have an issue with saying words sometimes ?

Ben

Not to go down a rabbit hole , but it might be kind of your thing . That's okay , we all have things . I'm a mutant .

Liz

You can't say words correctly sometimes it's all good , let's not start .

Ben

But the cool thing was our son was the first one that they found that had this specific abnormality . Now we tried to figure out like , was that really the case ? And we did some other research , like a couple years later I personally found some other people with it . But I'm not again , I'm not a geneticist . I don't know what I'm looking for . So maybe there is something super unique about him and he's in a book somewhere At least that's what we were told , or that he's at least that's what we were told , or that he's at least in a few research papers .

Ben

Yeah , but somewhere um turns out that he and I have a mutation and we're we're mutants .

Liz

Yeah , they're mutants . So then you have to understand . Now Ben is all engaged about how he's a mutant and it's like a whole world open up for him . He's like do you think I can jump off buildings ?

Ben

Well , I mean , it didn't start out that way . I think it was more or less like what do I need to do to bring on whatever special powers I have from this mutation ? Oh my gosh , and I mean I've seen all the movies , right .

Liz

Walk through walls .

Ben

I didn't know if I needed to stand a little closer to the x-ray machine the next time I'm at the dentist office or , you know , if I need to go get more sunlight or something . Maybe it might , you know something's going to activate it . And then one day I'll have these special powers and then you know , you guys will be jealous .

Liz

Yeah , so you know , basically I married a mutant and Zeke did get this

Liz

unique . Our son did get this interesting mutation from him not from me , but it was all about just seeing if his diagnosis that he had received was actually from a genetic from a genetic something or other . Yeah , and it wasn't because obviously you know they're learning so many things right now and actually with this topic , you know we were going through a really hard season .

Ben

We were yeah , it's a funny story , but at the time , like it was very difficult because we were about three months , in from the diagnosis , I believe yeah .

Liz

Well , I can't remember where we got the genetic testing versus when we found out , and yeah , anyways .

Ben

so it was a little little time had lapsed , but we were still dealing with the fact that , you know , our son was diagnosed with autism , and what did it feel like ?

Liz

Well , you know , at first um , you know , I knew that he wasn't um developing like his older brother , and so I thought one he couldn't hear , because I would say his name but he wouldn't , he wouldn't respond , you know , like his brother was at that age , and what age was this I ? Started noticing it at probably about two and a half three , probably more three and probably more three , because we already had our third child , a daughter , and he was nonverbal for a while .

Liz

Yeah , he only had like 20 words up until he was about four and a half , you know . And and then he , you know he was a late potty trainer and I mean there's just so many things in it . But you know , I started noticing some things and and also too , it was like when he would look , um I , it looked like maybe he was having a hard time focusing with his eyes . So I thought , okay , maybe he's having a hard time hearing , um , cause another time focusing with his eyes . So I thought , okay , maybe he's having a hard time hearing , because another friend of mine , her daughter , actually ended up having a hearing problem . So she had her ears , her hearing check . Maybe he's having a hard time seeing and he can't communicate . So he's not really telling me . And anyway , long story short , I went to get him all these tests done and turns out he has incredible , impeccable vision and his hearing is so good that they tell me he can probably hear a dog whistle .

Ben

And he has perfect pitch which we didn't find out until later .

Liz

Yeah .

Ben

But he's able to tell you exactly what key or note something is or what key something is written in .

Liz

Doesn't matter where we are .

Ben

We're not super musical . We like music but we're not musicians . But apparently that's pretty rare as well , and he's fantastic at it .

Liz

Yeah . And so we can be in a grocery store or listening to a song in the car or something and say , hey , do you know what key this song is in ? And he's like , yeah , it's da , da , da .

Ben

I mean it's In fact . He's gotten so tired of telling us what key it is , he doesn't want to do it anymore . Yeah .

Liz

Imagine that he has an opinion , and so , anyway , when we got his first diagnosis , it was pretty tough . It felt almost like a death sentence , and I think one of the reasons why it felt like that is because my understanding and my concept of what autism looked like , like I went to the nth degree of like this is terrible , what is his life going to be like ? Because of where he was , um , I and and I didn't see it as an adventure yet , because it felt it felt like a death . It felt like all the things that I thought that that our son could be , do and have , uh , wasn't going to come to pass . And we've learned a lot through it .

Liz

I mean , he is coming up on an 18th birthday , he's almost an adult , and so , you know , this is this is a long time ago . This is 15 years ago that we were , you know , embarking on this journey and and we've learned quite a bit . And that's one of the reasons why I want to talk about this in our One Blessed Mess podcast is because some of you out there may have somebody in your life that is going through this , where they just got the diagnosis or maybe the raising . They've already had it and they're raising somebody that's on the spectrum and there's different levels of the spectrum , of course . Our son was diagnosed as he got older with mild autism , high functioning , and you know we were worried , like when he first , you know , started talking and everything that he would never voice his opinion , he would get run over . What ?

Ben

did they call that ? So he started off when he was talking . It was like he would almost parent oh echolalia , yeah , echolalia . So he would repeat what we were saying and we got him to help , we got him to therapies .

Liz

We did a lot of things . But you know , we , we , for me I keep I'm saying we , but for me it felt like a death sentence . But I didn't see the beauty of the journey that was ahead and I remember the psychologist that gave that diagnosis . She said to me you know , this is , this is a gift to you , to give this to him . And I thought what I'm like ? I think it's a curse , you know .

Liz

I couldn't , I couldn't compute what she was saying , but now I understand because it helps us understand our son . It really does help us understand .

Ben

And we did a specific training that really helped us kind of see how to appreciate our son in a different way . And it was out in Massachusetts and the program I believe is called Sunshine .

Liz

Sunrise , sunrise .

Ben

Sorry , sunshine , and we're going to put it in Similar things . Sunshine , sunrise , sunrise , sorry , sunshine and sunrise , and we're going to put it in the notes on this podcast too , because it so helped us . Yes .

Liz

But basically what happened is somebody that I went to high school with their son had received the same diagnosis , and this is like back when Facebook was becoming a thing . So we were living in a different city than we grew up in , and I connected with them and seeing the story and reached out to them and they said you really should consider going to this program , and so we had to raise the money because we didn't have the money and we had to make arrangements . I was then pregnant with my fifth kid our fifth kid and we went out there and it was about a week long program for parents who had children on different parts of the spectrum and and and really had testimonies of people walking out of autism .

Ben

And what was unique about this place is that they had pioneered a form of therapy that was , um , based around joining your child and joining with them in the activities that they felt comfortable with , and so those activities they would call isms . And so our son he liked to run , but you had kids there that we met . We didn't really meet the kids , we met the parents of these kids , but some of their isms were , you know , pretty fantastical . One of them was like throwing up in a toaster and then burning his throw up by pushing it down , and so all kinds of crazy stuff .

Liz

Yeah , that was one of the extreme ones , yeah , and and I mean screaming um , some of them love driving in a vehicle .

Ben

You know and they had to be driven in order to calm down for hours , hours , hours . The whole point of that therapy was that of disciplining them , or trying to see their behavior as negative or bad . You would join in with them , right ? And so it made them feel comfortable , because here's this other human who's doing the same thing I'm doing in order to feel comfortable , and so it's a unique program .

Liz

I mean , there's like a whole system in it . If this is something that you're interested in , do click on the link . And I mean we are definitely fruit of that . Yeah that yeah Of that program and actually the founders . Their son was diagnosed with autism way before he . What we see now and I mean this is back when they would put kids in institutions and so how this couple started and where they they went yeah , I mean , there's terrible things that used to happen , you know , in the 70s and the early 80s , but um , their son actually runs the program .

Liz

I think he's still running it now . I am um connected , still on social media and see the testimonies are coming out and we , you know , still had our son in regular therapies . He still was , you know , doing um speech .

Ben

He was doing .

Liz

OT . Yeah , there was . He was in a special preschool which did ABA . But what we gathered from the sunrise program , what ? And it's kind of like the redheaded stepchild out there for . I hate saying that , but it's kind of like what it is in the autism community .

Ben

People are like oh , you know , and I do want to pause for just one second and say that you know , there there was kind of some drinking of the Kool-Aid there , like just a little bit of just weird spiritual influence . But one of the things that Liz and I both came away with was like why does this place feel so blessed , like ?

Ben

yeah , we were there when we were noticing , um , just just like what , how , how , how we were perceiving god's thoughts and feelings about this place . We just felt such warmness , such like love and affection and just um , just like a enthusiasm to be there , and we kept thinking like man , what is that ? And then we realized , like here's a whole institution dedicated to the down and out , the ones who are kind of left on the side , and like that's God's heart , right , he's there for the broken heart , he's there for the ones that are the outcasts . And we just felt like man , these people are loving the unlovable and that's touching something in God's heart . And so we really felt like man , these people are loving the unlovable and that's touching something in God's heart . And so we really felt like there was just favor over this place . We didn't agree with all the you know , some of the spiritual stuff and or or maybe all of the therapy , but the fact that they love these kids and that they were really trying to seek their benefit was just amazing .

Liz

Yeah , and their therapies were basically mirroring . That's what you're talking about . So it's coming alongside the child , no matter how old they are , and they have like a the way they do . It is really cool . I mean , you do need to dig into it and just see , and there's testimonies Our friends the friend that I went to high school with their son is thriving , he's working , he's a delight , he ended up being in our kids' piano classes , all those kind of things , and he's doing great .

Morning Dance and Emergency Room Mishap

Liz

And our son is doing great .

Liz

I mean he's learning to drive . He's in normal classes , he gets up and does presentations . He is our most introverted kid .

Ben

Oh , by a long shot , Like yeah , not even close .

Liz

When people come over to our house they typically will meet like all of our kids except for one . He's kind of like that cat that you know people maybe have in their house and you're like did you say you had a cat ? I haven't seen your cat . And then all of a sudden , about an hour later , like you see the cat . That's how our son is Run by normally .

Liz

He runs by and they're like , oh , you do have six kids , yeah , but he's like our most obedient . He's very scheduled personality , which is great , because his mom is the opposite . I'm not super like scheduled discipline . I mean we have a lot .

Ben

He follows a process extremely well more so than any of our kids and when you teach him something , he really learns it .

Liz

Yep .

Ben

And he's super studious , he's super diligent and it's just a breath of fresh air because sometimes he'll even anticipate things . Like if you give him a chore right , he'll even anticipate when he needs to do it next . And that's like such a nice , I guess difference between some of the other ones , they don't always have that quality , yeah but he's faithful . Yes .

Liz

He's very faithful and even though we walk through , so to speak , a dark night of our souls and all the paperwork , the IEPs , all the meetings that I've been in , the doctor's appointments , his file is like this thick , right , it's like really high . The other kids are like super small , you know , and but it's okay . I didn't know that when we received that diagnosis . The beauty that would come 15 years later and here's a young man who's almost 18 , you know , and he's looking at his future . He's talking about when he's going to live on his own , he's talking about holding a job and he went from very few words to , I mean , he's still a man of few words , but he's very funny , he's very , very funny .

Ben

This kid .

Liz

Well , you know , humor is a sign of intelligence . He knows when to say it and when not to say it , and when to say it and when not to say it . And when he says it , it's so brilliant , it's so funny .

Ben

That does remind me of a story where he had a good punchline .

Liz

Oh no , how much time do we have .

Ben

I think we can fit it in . Do you think we can fit it in ? Yeah , I think we can fit it in A little longer episode but it's okay .

Liz

Are you talking about ? Was it a morning like this Was ?

Ben

So I had done something stupid recently , prior to this morning , and I had fallen off my bike and ripped a little tear in my bicep from the handlebars , which we won't go into . It was really dumb .

Liz

But in our front yard .

Ben

It wasn't even like riding in the trails . It was like me trying to get the bike onto the back of my vehicle so that I could take it to the trails . That's when I fell .

Ben

And your shoes didn't clip the way you thought I was like clipped in and I didn't think I was and I tried to come out of my clips and I couldn't . So I just rode the bike all the way down like this and let go at the last second and the handlebars whipped into me . I was trying to move my arm to brace myself . It was a bad combination .

Liz

It ended up with me , trip to Hilarious because this is funny , because this has to do with our son . Oh , yeah , yeah , answer the door , yeah .

Ben

Okay , so I do this thing and . I have this hole in my arm . I probably can't see it .

Liz

No .

Ben

The handlebar hits right there and it's such a blunt force that it pops my arm open , like it felt like getting hit with a hammer , which I don't encourage anybody to try that . But just the way that the wheel whipped and I was pushing my arm anyways , bad combination pop my arm open . I look down , I see blood splurting , and so I'm like , oh crap , I just hit an artery . So I grab it , I try to get out of my bike and unclip the pedals and scramble up , and so I'm holding my arm .

Ben

You know like running to the door , trying to knock on the door with my elbow , and Zeke sees me and he kind of starts laughing . He's like what are you doing , dad ?

Liz

And he's laughing at him .

Ben

He didn't know the door was locked because I went out the garage and so I keep knocking and he kind of like laughs and moves away . So I go , I ring the doorbell with my nose .

Liz

He's ringing the doorbell with his nose and meanwhile , you guys , it's like seven something in the morning , like 7.15 . And we're trying to get kids ready for school . That's the day of a dentist appointment for all of them , because our dentist takes all six at the same time , and so I'm like we got a plan . We got a plan . And so finally , our son unlocks the door .

Ben

Unlocks the door and I get inside and I'm like I need to go to the emergency room right now and I'm thinking how in the world do you need to go to the emergency room ?

Liz

and he's holding his arm . I thought he had broke his wrist . So I start screaming somebody get a cutting board , I need a lantern . And he's like what are you talking about ?

Ben

because I'm thinking I'm gonna have to strap his arm down so the reason is like mr macgyver so the reason is , she thinks that is because that actually happened um that's a whole nother story a whole , not son . And we had some quick thinking and we were able to strap his arm down after he had broken it with a cutting board and made it to the hospital that way . So , anyways , that's what Liz's first impression was that's what I'm thinking .

Liz

And so he's like no , I need to go now . I think I busted an artery . I'm thinking , oh my gosh , do I call an ambulance ?

Ben

He says no , Just take me , just take me , you take me , we get there . It turns out it wasn't already , it was a vein , so that was yeah , that was good , um , but the doctor did tell me he's like hey , you might not want to mention the fact that , like you were , you fell in their front yard and it wasn't even on a trail it was like that's kind of a lame story .

Ben

You need to , you need to make up a different story . So , anyways , I never thought of a new story , so unfortunately I got to stick with the lame one .

Liz

So a couple of days after this is Easter .

Liz

I get stitched up , okay so a couple of days after this is Easter and I had all the kids Easter baskets ready , and so we decided that okay , let's wake them up , we're ready . And I was like you know what ? What was I doing Easter like 20 years ago , and I have this memory of I used to live overseas and I did a dance to a song called Was it a Morning Like this by Sandy Patty . So Was it a Morning Like this ? All right , look it up , it's quite operatic .

Ben

It was very popular .

Liz

Yes , yes , very vibrato and so .

Ben

How many times were you playing it that morning ?

Liz

Quite a bit , so I cranked it up as loud as I could to wake up the kids .

Ben

We do that . We're kind of the weird parents we're like when we need to wake up the kids . Sometimes I will bang on the drum set as loud as I possibly can , or I will sing as loud as I possibly can which is , you know , nobody wants to hear that or we'll just crank up a song as loud as possibly .

Liz

But anyways , liz felt impelled I felt inspired , so I get the music going and Ben is in a bathrobe because it's early in the morning and it's a fresh cup , hot cup of coffee .

Ben

And he's sitting on Holding it with the other arm . I believe yeah , Because I- . Yeah , not his arm . I hurt my right arm . I was holding my left .

Liz

Yeah , details here , details are important . So , anyway , I'm like remembering the dance that I did to this song on Easter Sunday years and years ago . And I'm doing it and the kids are getting up and they're like , oh my gosh , mom , what is this song ? I'm like it's an amazing song . It was a morning like this , it was a morning like this . So I'm like remembering the movements and all these things . And , of course , ben makes some kind of snarky comment or remark to our daughter . I think it was like you told her she's making break . I don't know , but he said he said something , something , and she takes a pillow and throws it at her dad when she threw the pillow .

Ben

It hit his arm with the coffee . I didn't think she realized I had coffee yeah , hand yeah , so she just she just threw the pillow right at me because you know , that's kind of normally how it goes .

Liz

I say something , something snarky and get a reaction , but it hit me right in the coffee .

Ben

It hit him in the coffee . The coffee went all over my arm , all over my stitches , all over my chest . Kind of gave me a little . You know it wasn't to burn like a third degree or anything like that but , it was definitely a red chest for a while .

Liz

Yeah . And so I start panicking because I'm thinking it got in the wound . What are we going to do ? So I'm like turn it off , turn it off . I'm like , oh my gosh .

Ben

And the music's still blaring . Yeah , the music . I'm like turn it off and everybody's going crazy running around .

Liz

Yeah , it was a little crazy . I'm like hurry , hurry , hurry .

Ben

And then what happens ?

Liz

And then , out of nowhere , our son emerges right up and he goes . Was it a morning like this , oh my God .

Ben

It was great timing .

Liz

Great timing and I'm like well , maybe I don't know that's funny , but I need help , you know . And anyway we laugh about it to this day that was Easter , right yeah . It was just a couple years ago , yeah , but you know , that's our point is like we thought something and it's turned into something much more beautiful .

Ben

Better than we could imagine .

Liz

Better than we could have imagined , and we're so grateful for that . So you know when life feels like a death sentence . God is still on the throne Right , ben .

Ben

Yeah , yeah , he is . And there's a verse that I was thinking about and it's in 2 Corinthians , and Paul's talking about . I'll just paraphrase it real quick , but basically he's despairing even of life . I'll just go into it . We do not want you to be uninformed , brothers and sisters , about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia . We were under great pressure , far beyond our ability to endure , so that we despaired of life itself . Indeed , we had felt we had received the sentence of death , but this happened , that we might not rely on ourselves , but on God who raises the dead . And I mean that's a great corollary verse , right , Like when you think there's a death sentence . Sometimes it's just you got to take a step back and realize that God has a plan and he has a way to deliver you , and we just needed to change our perspective .

Ben

And I'm glad we did . You know we found life in it and even when it felt like a death sentence and we were mourning um , and it's okay to mourn , it's okay to you know , to feel that at times it's just you can't camp out there . And we and we didn't . And we're so thankful because the Lord really has blessed us and it just . You know , we needed a little perspective shift and we just needed a little deliverance , and God's able to do that . He's able to bless you even in your messy life .

Liz

That's true . I love that scripture , I love those thoughts and you know , our son is such a shining and bright light .

Ben

He really is .

Liz

He really is , and he's such a joy . I love mothering him . I love parenting him . He would call himself an Aspie . Yeah , they don't really give that diagnosis anymore of Asperger's .

Ben

Right .

Liz

But he would say he's an Aspie and there's an author that we want to talk about at some point on this podcast oh yes , favorite author , our favorite author , that we want to say thanks for being a part of Our One Blessed Mess today . Our acronym , what's our acronym ?

Liz

Ben 01BM 01BM , our One BM . We just want to also say don't forget to subscribe and share with a friend who you think may need this encouragement . You know , we're just broken people , we have a messy life , but we hope that it encourages others along the way . And we also want to encourage you to follow us on Instagram . Our handle is at our one numeric one blessed mess . Looks like the sign right here , but until next time , we just want to say embrace your beautiful mess , right ? Because if our mess can be blessed , Then so can yours , so can yours .

Liz

Have a great day , see ya .