Rejecting Grief and Lament: Evangelical Shame and Psalm 88 – An Affirming Christianity Perspective

In this episode, we explore the challenging topic of grief and lament within evangelical communities, focusing on Psalm 88 as a powerful expression of authentic sorrow often suppressed in favor of performative happiness. Drawing a contrast with the commonly used Psalm 23 at funerals, this discussion delves into how evangelical teachings can shame genuine feelings, impacting spirituality and individual grief processes. As a Presbyterian USA minister committed to affirming and inclusive Christianity, I examine how these dynamics reflect broader issues within modern Christian faith and the cultural wars surrounding empathy. Join me to uncover why embracing true lament is essential for spiritual growth and healing within the church and beyond.

This is a companion to my episode about Psalm 23. Wanting to keep it peaceful, I saved my ranting for this episode. Why aren't you allowed to feel? Erika Kirk, the wife of slain conservative activist Charlie Kirk, is a case study in case study in evangelical Christian performance covering up genuine feelings. Ask anyone who has deconstructed from high control religion and they will say the first thing they say is that it was all a lie. They don't mean spirituality or even Christianity itself. They mean the substituted feelings and performative happiness. It is an exaggeration of the American ethos of individualism. Even the choice of the most beautiful Psalm 23 for funerals belies the substitution. Real grief comes in the form of Psalm 88. I explain where this comes from. Then I explain how the war on empathy is also a war on grief and lament, and how this is driving so much of the division in the Culture Wars. Two John Piper quotes that show this.

Previous episodes:
S2 E5 "Misreading Scripture to push Fascist Ideology - Inclusive Affirming Christianity Romans 13 & Jeremiah 17"

S2 E12 "Psalm 23's Beauty: An Affirming Christian Interpretation Beyond Grief"