The land I lost (and what saved me)

I  lost the land—not the vision, the actual dirt—not because I didn't believe in what we were building, but because I couldn't bring myself to ask for help. This is a raw story about watching my land project slip through my fingers while smiling and saying *we're fine*, and what saved me wasn't a grant or a savior but mutual aid: people sending what they had and saying *don't you dare lose this*. No saviors, just us—and how you can start practicing that right now inside sh8peshift society.

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Transcript

Welcome Shapeshifters, to another exciting episode of the Shapeshifter Life podcast. We're going to do something a little bit different today, and I'm just going to share with you a personal journey about the land.

When I moved to Mexico, believe, when I moved to Mexico five years ago, I feel very strongly that I did not choose this country, that this country chose me, that I have been deployed here by Earth Mother Onile to erect a sacred temple, a sanctuary, a

place of safety and healing and transformation for like-minded souls. That journey took me to a beautiful pueblo magico called Tepehotzlán.

Where there I discovered beautiful Pyram. Where there I had the opportunity to bask in one of the sacred valleys of this country. To walk the paths that many of the ancient indigenous gods walked, specifically Quetzalcoatl, the winged serpent who is revered throughout the country.

to traverse the paths and the sacred waters and to feel the ancient wisdom of this land. And in that town I had the opportunity to climb a beautiful mountain and visit ancient pyramids where sacred ceremonies took place.

And in that moment, breathing that fresh air, listening to the sound of the birds and feeling the spirit of the land, I felt very strongly that that is where I was supposed to be, that that was the place that I was supposed to erect. That that was the place that I was supposed to be and to erect a very end to.

that that was the place that I was supposed to be. And so I went on a search, I went on a frantic search, and I discovered that there's something very interesting happening here in Mexico and probably other parts of the world.

There are many properties being sold that have been stewarded as healing sanctuaries, healing spaces. Many of these properties have been purchased by foreigners over 20 years ago and many, when they purchased them, they were just raw land.

and these healing practitioners took it upon themselves and their own duty to erect and turn these mounds of dirt into beautiful spaces of healing. And now after 15, 20 years of doing this work of getting older, of your priorities changing, and maybe thinking that more people would come to the land or for whatever reason.

many of these owners are now selling. And so there is a significant amount of healing centers, former healing centers, boutique hotels that have been on the market, not only in Tepotzlan but across the country. And one of the other interesting facts about purchasing land or

here in Mexico is financing is not the same way that it works in America. Interest rates tend to be very high and tend to cause a barrier of entry for many people to even truly engage in the speculative real estate market, particularly when we're talking about larger properties. We're talking about

you know, six, seven, eight, all the way up to 10 bedrooms, 10 baths. These aren't just mansions or villas. These are places that may have a work. These are places that may have a yoga studio or a commercial kitchen or just some of the other amenities that you would find at a healing center. And they're all.

Many of these properties have been sitting since I moved here. And at the time I had found

property that I was just bent on. had visited numerous times, I had met the owners, I started working my Bay Area connections and building a team and reaching out to folks in the philanthropic community who funded impact investing or just new wealthy donors or folks that were engaged in some type of movement or social justice or repair or restoration.

or rematriation work and I began to pitch them honestly for capital to secure the financing that was required because you basically have to pay in cash.

front, there aren't these really long-term financing models. Financing tends to be 10 to 15 years at a higher interest rate at most. There are payment plans that you can create directly with the owner, but they tend to be, we want our money in the next four years. And you can imagine trying to pay off a half a million.

to a million dollar property in four years was not something that I was financially in the position to do. Thus, I was seeking additional investment partners. And along the journey, I realized a big hypocrisy in the so-called slow money impact investing social entrepreneurship space. I found that as many white founders are able to pretty much start a business anywhere in the world,

are able to go to countries of which they are not from and attract investors to their cause, whether it has a social benefit or otherwise. That those same doors, for whatever reason, seem to be closed to me. I also found that when there was international investment, they tended to focus on

let's say more stereotypical founders. we're looking, they tended to focus on women that were local to the area and I think that's beautiful. So think a textile project or a coffee plantation or a new superfood.

you know, women coming together to weave baskets that are from the local community. Most of the international investment really focused on these areas. Big money being given to white founders from anywhere in the world and smaller more in the micro

space being given to local women, which ultimately does support the local economy, but obviously the dollar amounts and the investment amounts are a lot smaller for that population. That yes, they're going to give those women a livable wage, a wage better than the country, they're better than their home country, but aren't really going to move them into a level of ownership or

like you'd see with a Tom's shoes or another, you know, acai or a moringa farm that you might see another white falconer owning. And I realized that even though I am a black woman, even though I hold the mitochondrial DNA of the first human that walked the planet,

even though I have found myself in a country like America due to forces like the MAFA, the transatlantic slave trade, even if you argue that black people were in America before slavery, which I actually agree with, there were African people of African descent throughout the Americas before this before colonization, that we would all agree that

because of colonization, because of slavery, because of imperialism, I and my body as a black body, the ancestry of black bodies, the ancestors that preceded me have been at the will of those systemic forces of systemic racism and discrimination and misogyny and misogyny.

So the reality is I am indigenous. I am indigenous to the continent of Africa We know that African people have trans circumnavigated We know that African people we know the people of African descent circumnavigated the entire planet before Europe even knew what a shoe was or a window


not to be racist or discriminatory. That's just the fact that Europe was living in the dark ages and people of African descent had traveled the world. We know that when you go to places like Australia or even China or India, they now will tell you that some of their first people, the first people who were there, were of African descent, as I said, even in the United States of America.

even in Mexico.

civilization in Mexico are the Olmec people. And if you look at those noses and those heads and that hair texture, it's very clear. Even I would invite you to go take a look at the Buddha again and take a look at the hairstyle of the Buddha and the corn, the kinkiness of the curl. And you would see that that is a person of African descent. And yet, when it comes to indigeneity, when it comes to being able to

a box in Africa, in America, or even now that I'm in Mexico, those boxes, I am excluded from those boxes. It is as if instead the label of the historic historical oppression that has been placed upon my black body has exempted me and has allowed and has

has kept me out of being able to benefit from programs, practices, funding, and resources that are specific to Indigenous people. And so I found myself asking some of these funders, folks from the Philanthropic community, will you tell me, where do I get to be Indigenous? If I go to the continent of Africa and they say, no, no, no, you're American,

Indigenous. If I trace my lineage 500 years to the states, which I have done, I am still, if I can trace my lineage in America, 500

years, which I have done, still they will tell me I'm not indigenous to America. If I walk across an invisible border that has been placed by the arm of imperialism into Mexico, which we all know used to be California and used to be part of America and it's this fake border, and we know that the oldest civilization in Mexico was African and Mexico had a slave trade, still I am told, no, no, no, you're not

indigenous here. So where do I get to be indigenous? Where does the original black woman get to be indigenous? Instead I am a nomadic African. Instead I would argue that I am a displaced African.

that because of these same structures and systems, I have been systematically displaced from multiple homelands. And even more disheartening is my presence around the world and my contra-

contributions and I mean me I mean my ancestors because we know that I am an ancestor returned you are an ancestor returned I come from the blood and bone of those who walk before me that our contributions have literally been erased and as if we only just showed up through the transatlantic slave trade which is false

And so those rooms, and so I was unable to seek funding and support in those rooms. And as a result, not one, not two, but three properties have slipped through my hands that were affordable, that I thought would be perfect for this vision of co-living and wellness and stewardship that is ShapeShift Society.

And so I thought it is important to share that story, to share the nuance of how these funding structures work and investment works. And if we were to take it all the way full circle, we know that black women are not.

invested in at the same level. We receive, I think, a fraction of 1 % of all venture capital. We are overly mentored. We receive an abundance of technical assistance. And yet, when it comes to someone just writing us the check, there is a huge gap there. There is an over-questioning of my credentials, my expertise, my capabilities, even though I have watched white colleagues be able to attract money.

you know, with their eyes closed for businesses that to this day have yet to be profitable. And yet, our financials are scrutinized with an additional level of disbelief that do we even know what we're talking about? Even though my financials are tight and they clearly check all the boxes, that this is a sustainable venture.

And so that's the reality. I find myself in this liminal space, in this in-between space of questioning where I do, where I am able to truly call myself home, where I'm able to belong and able to have sovereignty of my culture, of my identity, of my...

intellectual property and of my own personal gifts instead of having to justify my presence and having to contort myself into limitations that have been placed on me and placed upon my people by outside forces. And then the gaslight that then occurs where people tell you you're not working.

you are missing this or you're not think about it like that. Why do you even want to be in Mexico? Why don't you stay? Why don't you stay here? Right? Then people want to start questioning your ability to even get up and move around.

because again they're still holding you to the same limitations of imperialism, these artificial borders that were white men carving up the earth in their own image to decide what natural resources and people as resources they could exploit and how dare you as a black body walk

that line and place yourself in another nation that we didn't give you permission to be in and have the audacity to say that you want to be a steward of the earth, right? It's preposterous and yet this is still in 2026 the thinking and the realities of the situation. So I come to you today wanting to share my story but more importantly I come to you today talking about how I have

that story into my own power because that is what I'm always here talking to you about, Shapeshifter. I'm always talking to you about how you can alchemize the pain, alchemize the challenge, alchemize the struggle into your own power. And so I decided to take this idea and not keep it so close to myself.

You know, when we go through any traditional business incubator program startup world, which I have been through many, they tell you that you have an idea that's all about this amazing idea that the founder had. And the founder then has to go create a deck and create a plan and share why this is a feasible idea. And then they have to go and attract funding and track the resources. And there's a hierarchy and the funders at the top and everyone else is at the bottom. And we see this, you see this with, you

multi-billion dollar companies now. Look at Amazon, look at Apple, right? Look at X. You see these founder driven models where it's all about the shiny founder at the top and everyone else is pretty much at the bottom. And you never really get to hear the story of all the countless people and the teams that really worked to make sure that these ideas, that these visions came into a reality. And as I'm decolonizing my own mind, I want to

be honest and say that that is what I did. I went and did the exact same thing when it came to this project. And I realized that that one was not aligned with my values and two, it's just not the way things work anymore. That we are moving back, returning back to our original ancient wisdom and knowledge which allows us to remember, remember.

Reput ourselves back together again knowing that it is only through community. It is only through the collective It is only through collaboration that we are wealthy knowing that wealth is not just financial currency Wealth is a state of mind wealth is your health wealth is your community, right? That is why certain cultures instead of asking them. I believe it's a culture in South Africa instead of asking How are you doing today? They say how are your children? because

they know that the way that a society treats its children is the exact lip.

is a reflection of how the society is doing. You've also heard factor, you've also heard people saying, know, the way, you've also heard people saying the way that a community, a nation treats its elders and treats its young people is a reflection of how the community is doing. And so you are only doing as well as the community. Ubuntu, I am because we are. And so by coming together and not hoarding

the idea, hoarding the resource, thinking that I have to be on top. Instead, through decolonizing my mind and my process, I was able to start this vision over and to recognize that actually I need to bring more people into this. I need to stop holding it so close to my chest. I need to let go of limited scarcity mindset that someone's going to take this from you or you've heard this idea. Don't share your idea. Someone's going to take your idea. They don't pay you

for your idea and it's all bullshit. It's all based on that same capitalistic framework of hoarding and scarcity and of hierarchy. And we see clear as day, and as I'm recording this soon to be May of 2026, we can see where that has gotten us and got the planet. So from there I decided that I wanted to form ShapeShift Society.

ShapeShift Society is an eco sanctuary for healing.

Shapeshift Society is an eco sanctuary for healing, for restoration.

ShapeShift Society is an eco sanctuary for healing, restoration, and land stewardship here in Mexico.

rooted in rematriation, we welcome people of all identities who feel called.

feel called to reconnect with the earth to heal our own internalized ancestral wounds.

and reclaim our rightful space of living in right relationship with the land, which is truly our birthright.

Through collective healing, we fall back to the natural rhythms of the earth.

restoring what was stolen and reimagining liberation. And reimagining liberation, not as some distant future, but as a way of life. And so if you listen to one of my episodes, a couple of episodes back, I talked about this idea of star circles.

And so rather than reaching outward and thinking that it's all about something that I have to do by myself, I'm reaching, I'm opening up an open invitation for those who are like-minded and feel called. There are so many ways to engage with ShapeShift Society, from people who are ready to make the move and actually live part-time or full-time on the land.

ship.

We're also creating a space for other healing practitioners who have been paying white led retreat spaces, thousands of dollars to host our events there that ultimately doesn't really generate wealth back into our community and still models the same system of extraction we got you. Also for our community that want to come seasonally, partake in our wellness events, our integrated

medicine school participating in any of our wellness events or our Chinese acupuncture.

or our Chinese, or our integrated medicine clinic, who want to participate in one of our wellness retreats, or come be a patient in our integrated medicine clinic, or just come to restore through a sabbatical or an artist in residency program. And we even have virtual ways to join through our

apothecary, can purchase locally sourced artisan crafted healing herbs that were growing on the land or working with other healing practitioners that are local to grow. You can also participate in our master classes.

and workshops virtually. So there's something for everyone. At the core of that is our healing work that I believe firmly that this is a time where we are

rejecting Western modalities of healing. We are in a crisis of sickness, be it in the mind or be it in the physical body. And we know that everything in the physical body starts with the mind. And so giving people an opportunity to tap in to healing modalities mixed with cutting edge modern day science in a place that is affordable and accessible for them and outside of the traditional medical

system, which I would argue is killing us. And one of the things that Mexico provides is an opportunity to engage in many of those treatments at a fraction of the cost. Not to be colonizers, but to truly be stewards, to be in solidarity as an Indigenous woman with other Indigenous women, to hire locally, to create cross-cultural exchanges, and to making sure that in all ways,

we are making the land better and the place better than it was when we arrived. So that's the vision. That's the vision of ShapeShift Society. And if you feel called, I would invite you to check out our website. It's my website, ShapeShiftYourLife.com. You can also go on my main website and link to it. And I'll link it.

description box. But more importantly, I'm sharing this story with you because many of us are all being deployed. We're all being called to various corners of the earth. We're all being called to create sanctuary, to create space. Some of you are being called right in your own cities right now. Some of you are being called to move and to go to other nations and other parts of the country. It doesn't really matter where you're being called because it's not really about

the where. It is about the who. It is about the what. The who of who are the other like-minded people that you are coming together with.

And that is why we established this Star Circles community. You can learn more about that in our Signal group. I did a podcast episode where I asked you to bring together six to eight people in your community that you can begin building tribe, aligning with, sharing resources, creating structures of mutual aid together. That that is truly the blueprint of what is going to move us forward. That this work was never about trying to get

you know, benevolent white people to believe in our humanity. It was never about the nonprofit industrial complex funding our liberation. It was always about our own self-determination. It was always about our own collective responsibility. It was always about our own cooperative economics. And we lost that. We got away from that as a people through integration, through the prison industrial complex.

through policies like redlining and...

predatory lending practices, through state violence like the destroying of black neighborhoods over and over and over again like Tulsa. And we put our energy back into the power structure that literally created the problems in the first place. And so as we're facing the destruction of that system, as we're watching the collapse of Western imperialism, of white structures, of

arm. The invitation is to let them fucking fall down. Let them burn to the ground. And don't for one moment think that because it is being destroyed in front of your face that somehow that means that there's not more opportunity for you. Don't allow the layoffs that are targeting black women right now to make you believe that somehow we are not going to thrive. There will never be a planet Earth.

in which the true indigenous people, African women, women of African descent are not here. We are the givers of life. We are the givers. We are the birth givers. We are the breath givers. We are the givers of life. And this world will not exist without us. Even if they think they're going to go to Mars or go somewhere else, it's not going to happen.

It's a fallacy. And we learn this in The Matrix, written by a black woman, stolen by white men, her intellectual property. Shout out to sister, I believe her first name is Sandra, but look her up if you don't know. That everything is a mindset. That The Matrix is something that you plug into. And this internet that we know is still controlled by the same minerals of Earth Mother Onile

is used to power the machines that I'm using right now to record this episode are being programmed in a way to cast a spell.

over our own internal knowingness, rememberingness, and personal power into gaslighting us into their algorithm, into thinking that we are powerless, that we don't have agency, that we have to depend on these structures. That's why they're trying to sell you this AI narrative so fucking much because they know that unless you drink the Kool-Aid, it's truly not going to happen. When you pull back

the veil on these AI companies. What you will learn is none of them are actually making profits right now. When they keep telling us that they have to lay off all of these people because of AI, it's a lie. The truth is they are collapsing the system so that they can create more dependency, more surveillance, and more

and keep us as slaves. And even though you think you're free because you don't have shackles on your hands and on your feet, but your mind is shackled. You have shackled ideas about.

high is you're not open to your own gods. You don't know a language outside of an Abrahamic tradition. You believe in what they show you with your physical eyes and you're unable to open up your third eye. You're a slave in your tiny Zoom box fulfilling the labor of their system.

turning against and turning away and turning toward what it is that we're building. I often say if we spent the same amount of energy that we do protesting the government, if we spent that same amount of time to create one product, one service, one program that

helped benefit the collective consciousness and uplift people of African descent, we would recognize truly how powerful we are. If you look at the billions and billions of dollars that they spend every day programming you out of your power, you would recognize truly how powerful you really are. That right now we are in

a moment of opportunity. And we are the ones that are going to co-create and build the future that we want to see. And that the loss that we are seeing, the loss of jobs, the loss of a future that we thought was promised to us, the loss of systems, is an invitation into the new earth that we're building. And it has to die.

and holding on to your practices to maintain your nervous system in a place of balance when they want to keep you in first chakra, root chakra, fight or flight, fight or flight.

We, the energy can't even move up to the third eye to think about what it is you're seeing. It can't even move up to the crown chakra to receive the divine downloads. It's stuck in the lower realm in a place of constant reaction, defensiveness, scarcity, which is whiteness. It is whiteness, not as a race, but as a construct and as a mindset, a mindset of

There's not enough. We have to compete. This person is the other. I have to destroy them. I have to hoard. I have to own. I have to be the leader. So for those of us with eyes to see and ears to hear and a heart to feel and a consciousness to overstand that there's something greater, the world is ours.

And we're gonna get there by building the muscle of deep collaboration, collectivism, cooperatism. And that is what I know. And that is what I want to challenge you today to build in your own way.

Go back and listen to the episode about Star Circles and build a Star Circle in your community. If you're being called to be deployed, to do your heart-centered work, I would say do it, but I would challenge you to find the other like-minded people that you can do it with in community and to know that you don't have to hold it all alone.

And yes, the pace may feel slower at times, but remember, time is a construct as well. And we can quantum leap through this divine portal that we are receiving right now, where we can accelerate in time in ways that we could have imagined. So don't allow the seeming limitations of this world rob you.

of the inheritance that is promised to you in the metaphysical realm. If you feel the call, I invite you to check out our website for ShapeShift Society. And most importantly, keep building. Our time is now. Ashe.