I've always wanted to say yes to something , hanging out with friends , trying something new , showing up somewhere , but anxiety talked you out of it . You end up making excuses , you stay home once again and you wonder why this fear always wins . This episode is for the person who wants to go , but their brain seems to always get annoyed , because today we're talking about how to stop letting social anxiety shrink your life . Hi , and welcome back to Blackout the Noise . This is the go-to podcast for teen to young adults who are ready to quiet anxiety , self-doubt and overthinking . I'm your host , jessica Davis , a licensed therapist and mindset coach and the creator of the Courage Method . This is part two of our social anxiety series . Today's episode is all about pushing past that invisible wall when anxiety tells you it's safer to stay home , stay quiet , stay comfortable . We are going to work on reframing that story . What if courage looked like saying yes even when you were scared ? But before we dive in , I want to give you a quick reminder .
Jessica DavisThis podcast is here to support and guide you , but it is not a replacement for talking to someone in real life . If you're struggling with your mental health , please , please reach out to a therapist and if you're in crisis , contact emergency services or a local helpline . You don't have to go through this alone . Also , if you're feeling overwhelmed anxiety and you're not sure what to do next , emergency services or a local helpline . You don't have to go through this alone . Also , if you're feeling overwhelmed anxiety and you're not sure what to do next , grab that free anxiety survival toolkit . I know you've probably heard this multiple times and you're really over it by now , but if you just listen , grab the free anxiety survival toolkit . I probably still will keep saying it , but not the point . Just get it . It is packed with practical tools to help you calm your mind , challenge negative thoughts and take control in those tough moments . Don't keep struggling silently . Get the tools you need . The link is in the show notes . All right , let's cut through the noise and get started .
In counseling sessions and even in conversations with friends , I talk a lot about comfort zones . Comfort zones feel safe and familiar , but they can also become a box that keeps us stuck right . I've seen it so many times Teens who want to join a club but never show up . Or young adults who want to meet new people but cancel last minute . And I get it . I've even had to challenge myself here too . I love being at home and , honestly , engaging in conversation with new people can sometimes be tough . Doing this podcast , honestly , is a little bit out of my comfort zone as well . It's putting myself out there in a different of my comfort zone as well . It's putting myself out there in a different , vulnerable way .
Jessica DavisBut when planning this episode , a movie came to mind , and if you know me , or as you're getting to know me , you will find out that I love TV and movies . But it is a hard sell , honestly , to get me to watch a comedy . But still , this old movie called yes , ma'am comes to mind . Jim Carrey's character says yes to everything because of a random conversation with a stranger . Now , I'm definitely not encouraging you to say yes to everything , but I am saying this say yes to what might help you grow . Say yes to what scares you a little bit but excites you too .
Jessica DavisLife isn't meant to be lived inside the same four emotional walls . And , yes , stepping out might feel uncomfortable . You might . You might fail , you might feel awkward , but you might also discover something new about yourself , and that is never a waste . There's this quote , and I'm not sure who wrote it , but I love it . It says a comfort zone is a beautiful space , but nothing ever grows there , and that is so true . When we don't grow , the comfort zone we used to find as a beautiful space almost becomes a prison of our own making . I want to help you by going over five evidence-based steps to get you out of your comfort zone
. One clarify your why . A psychologist named Dr Lisa DeMoor said that teens are more likely to stretch themselves when they understand the personal value behind the discomfort . So what that means is asking ourselves why does this matter to me ? Is it about connection , growth or proving something to myself ? The clearer your why , the easier it is for you to face this fear and show up .
Jessica DavisTwo start with a micro challenge . Research has shown that exposure therapy , which is a gradual exposure to feared situations , helps reduce anxiety over time . Pick a small , manageable challenge that might mean . For you it could be going to the grocery store . For someone else it could be going to a party . For another person it could be going in to ask for a job application . Whatever it is , pick what is a manageable step for you . Maybe for someone else it would be going to that restaurant , even though they know they're already hiring just to get familiar with the space and then coming back again later to ask for a job application . Whatever the step is , just make it micro enough that you feel like it is a challenge , but enough for you to actually still accomplish it .
Jessica DavisThree visualize success , not just survival . According to neuroscientist Dr Andrew Huberman , visualizing yourself succeeding activates the same parts of your brain as actually doing it . So don't just imagine getting through it , imagine enjoying it as well Laughing , feeling proud , feeling strong . That shifts your brain's association from fear to empowerment . I think this is so , so key and we actually don't use this enough within life that when we're struggling with something and we have such a major fear about it , if we actually try to visualize fear about it , if we actually try to visualize it going well and the feelings that are associated with that , it really does lessen that anxiety about it . So , for instance , if you got invited to go out with friends and you're worried that it's just going to go really , really wrong , allowing yourself to visualize you talking to multiple people and having really great conversations and leaving on such a high that you're like , oh my gosh , I can't wait to do that again . Or I am so glad that I did that Visualize yourself , show yourself winning , or use the if-then strategy .
Jessica DavisBehavioral scientists call this implementation intention and it works like this If I start to panic , then I'll count to 10 and take a deep breath , or if I feel like leaving , then I'll talk to one more person first . So you're planning for challenges , gives you more control because you've already set yourself up for what you'll do when that challenge occurs . And five reflect and reward . As you already know , I love a good reward system . I am a fan of having not only myself , but having clients pat themselves on the back when they've done something . I said it before and I'll say it again we don't give ourselves enough positive feedback for what we do . We think that we should just be doing it instead of rewarding ourselves in some kind of way . And in this situation it doesn't have to be a big reward or this , you know , in-depth reflection . It could just be asking yourself what did I do that I am proud of , and just acknowledging that for yourself . The reward also doesn't have to be big either . It could just be sharing how wonderful that moment was , or even if it didn't go well , just sharing that hey , this was really tough , but I still did it and allowing other people to kind of enjoy your progress as well .
Jessica DavisIf you are loving the tips in this episode , then I think you will love the Anxiety Survival Toolkit too . That's a free resource . It's filled with coping strategies and emergency reset tool , courage calls and much more . Grab it now . Don't wait until anxiety takes over . The link is in the show notes .
Now to the courageous moment . Pick one thing this week that's outside of your comfort zone . It doesn't have to be big , just needs to be bright . Say yes , go and then write down how you felt afterwards . Not what anxiety predicted right , that doesn't matter but what actually happened . And if you do decide to write about the anxiety beforehand , I hope you write how you proved it wrong , right . So even if you're really anxious and you still did it , that's a win . That's something to write down and say like gosh , I was so stressed and overwhelmed by this and I didn't even think I could get through it , but I did .
Jessica DavisWriting that is huge . Avoidance really makes us feel safe in the moment , but it honestly builds regret . Courage feels hard in the moment , but it builds confidence . You deserve a life that's bigger than your fear . I really enjoyed doing this episode . It's probably one of my more favorite episodes to record , but I'm excited for part three , which is coming out next week , of our social anxiety
series . Thank you so so much for listening . Until next time , keep moving forward , trust yourself and never forget you have what it takes to block out the noise .