it's not just the anxiety anymore . It's the fact that you're tired of constantly trying , tired of wondering how you come across , tired of rehearsing everything before you say it and replaying it after , tired of feeling like you can't just exist without second guessing every little thing . And maybe no one knows how bad it's gotten , because on the outside you seem fine , but on the inside you feel like you're unraveling . This episode is for the person who feels like they've become a burden to themselves , who's sick of their own overthinking but doesn't know how to turn it off . If that's you , stay with me , hi , and welcome back to Block Out the Noise . The place where teens and young adults come to quiet , anxiety , self-doubt and overthinking .
I'm Jessica Davis , a licensed therapist , mindset coach and creator of the Courage Method . We're in part three of the social anxiety series . Part one was about the fear of saying the wrong thing . Part two was about saying yes when fear says no . But this one , this episode , is for when you don't want to say anything at all because you're too tired , too worn out by the pressure to be liked to fit in , to not mess up . Today , we're talking about what happens when you're not just anxious , you're tired of being you Before we dive in in this podcast is here to support and guide you , but it is not a replacement for talking to someone in real life .
Jessica DavisIf you're struggling with your mental health , please reach out to a therapist , and if you're in crisis , contact emergency services or a local helpline . You don't have to go through it alone . Also , if you've been feeling overwhelmed by anxiety and you're not sure what to do next , grab the free Anxiety Survival Toolkit . It's packed with practical tools to help you calm your mind , challenge negative thoughts and take control in those tough , tough moments . Whether it's a school presentation , a social situation or just one of those days when everything feels like too much , this is the resource you need to get through . So don't wait , go grab it . The link is in the show notes . All right , let's cut through the noise and get started .
Here's what most people don't understand about social anxiety . It's not just nerves , it's not just shyness . It's mental exhaustion . It's about constantly managing how you might be perceived . Your brain is constantly scanning for danger not physical danger , social danger . You start rehearsing what you say before you even show up . You replay every conversation when you get home . You overanalyze your tone , posture , text messages , silences . You question your facial expressions . You even wonder if that joke landed or if everyone thinks you're awkward .
Jessica DavisThat level of hyper-awareness doesn't just make you anxious , it makes you tired of yourself . And when anxiety is loud , self-compassion is usually the first thing to go . No wonder you're tired . You're spending every interaction trying to be liked , accepted or at least not rejected . And even when nothing goes wrong , you still feel mentally and emotionally drained . It's not you , it's the pressure you're carrying , and you have turned that exhaustion inward . Like you are the problem
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Jessica DavisAnd that's when anxiety gets even trickier , because it whispers things like you should just stay home . You make things worse . It's easier for everyone if you're not there , so you pull back , you stop showing up , you stop reaching out , you cancel plans , not because you don't care , but because you care so much it feels unbearable . But here's the lie Isolation doesn't heal anxiety , it feeds it . Avoiding people doesn't make you safer , it makes you feel invisible . And while you're trying to disappear , the people who care about you are growing more confused , more worried and sometimes even more distant . Anxiety makes you believe that hiding is protecting everyone , but it only deepens the disconnect .
Jessica DavisBefore we keep going , if this is already hitting close to home . I want you to have something you can actually use . I created the Anxiety Survival Toolkit to help you when your mind just won't quiet down . It's free , it's practical and it's something you can pull in those moments when anxiety is trying to win . You'll get 75 quick use tools , emergency reset , self-talk prompts to challenge negative thoughts and strategies you can use right in the moment . Don't wait until everything feels heavy . After this , download it in the show notes . Okay , so let's be honest , the voice in your head probably isn't kind , it's critical , it's mean , it's relentless . So let's go over how to rebuild the relationship you have with yourself , because that's where healing starts .
One , talk to yourself like someone you love . If your best friend said I embarrassed myself today , would you respond with you're so awkward or you know you really did totally fumble . No , you'd reassure them . Try doing that to yourself . Self-kindness activates the same soothing system in your brain that responds to connection and empathy . The more you can talk to yourself in a kind , caring way , the easier , and sometimes we feel like we can't do it for ourselves , but we can always do it for friends and family . So put yourself in their shoes Instead of saying , oh my gosh , I totally messed up . Ask yourself well , what would my friend blah , blah , blah say ? And I say blah , blah , blah , because you get the idea , put that in and help yourself . And for the person feeling like blah , blah say , and I say blah , blah , blah , because you get the idea , put that in and help yourself . And for the person feeling like well , what happens if you feel so alone that you don't have any friends ? It doesn't even have to be someone you know it could be someone you admire , right ? You could just tell yourself what would this person who I look up to say in this moment and I'm sure they would try to motivate you the same way a friend would . They would tell you that you can do it , that you can push forward , that it's okay .
Two name your inner critic and talk back . Now , this one , I feel like , is hard for people to really get , because sometimes it just feels a little weird to actually name it , and me personally , I would struggle with this as well . But it does hold true right . It changes your anxiety or that self-critic to not be you . It gives it and allows it to be someone else or something else , and I think that's the power in it . So give your inner critic a name , something that reminds you that it's not you . Maybe it's something as silly as Karen . I mean , karen is very popular these days , but it also hits home , right If we're saying the Karen in me is talking right now and I need to shut Karen down , right . I think it would be not only funny but also help to make you realize like , yeah , I need to change this narrative . It adds distance and it helps you stop fussing with
the thought . Try it out .
Jessica DavisThree keep a self-compassion journal Each night . Jot down one to two moments where you showed up , even if it's small . It could be I went to school today . It could be I text a friend . It could be I tried something new . It could even be I got up and showered . It doesn't matter what it is . All you're trying to do is build a bank of proof that you are strong , even when your mind tells you otherwise . And the beauty of this type of journaling is that at first it's , you know , probably small things where you feel like , oh my goodness , this isn't even worth documenting . But as you go along , you're going to see the change in you that you're starting to recognize . Wow , I did a couple of things right I helped a friend through a really tough moment , or I tried out for something that really scared me , or I completed a paper before it was even due . You're going to find that the things that you're writing down changes because you're now more in tune with yourself and you're looking to find ways to document the things that you're doing and you'll want to do more so that you have really cool things that you can look back on and see
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Jessica DavisFour use the courage framework , specifically the R . Respond with self-compassion when anxiety strikes . Don't just react , respond pause . Say something kind , even if it's simple . This is hard , but I'm trying , or I'm overwhelmed but not broken , or I'm allowed to feel this way . This doesn't make me weak . Self-compassion interrupts the spiral . It's not about being fake . It's about refusing to pile on more pain when you're already caring enough
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Jessica DavisAgain , in previous episodes I have mentioned changing the background of your phone to something uplifting or something powerful , because you will look at that every single day and see that multiple times a day . Do something for yourself that will highlight it , even if it's a poster on the wall , a phrase on the wall . Find something that really resonates with you and claim it as yours that really resonates with you , and claim it as yours . And five , normalize being human . Anxiety tells you like you're the only one struggling and you're really not . Everyone overthinks sometimes , everyone has insecurities , everyone has struggles . You're not broken . You're human . Watch your changes when you stop expecting perfection and start practicing grace , gratitude , forgiveness . You don't need to be someone else to be worthy .
Okay , so now for our courageous moment . If you're tired of yourself , try doing one small thing for yourself today . Step outside for five minutes . Call or text someone , even if you don't feel like it . Write down something you liked about yourself today . Just choose one and do it . Do it in the moment . Don't fight it , even if you're just like okay , in this moment , I'm going to say something nice to myself . Do it Today , right now , seriously . Not because it's going to magically fix everything , but because action is how you remind yourself that you matter , that you're worthy of showing
up .
Jessica DavisFor this series isn't about fixing yourself . It's about understanding yourself and finding the courage to keep showing up . You don't have to do it alone . You can stop waging war on yourself . You can start building something stronger , something more powerful in you . Let's close with this quote by Brianna Wiest . Okay , I have no idea if I pronounced that correctly , but you get it True self-care is not salt baths and chocolate cake . It is building a life you don't have to regularly escape from . That is so powerful and so true . You don't need to escape who you are . You just need space to finally be who you are . I hope that makes sense . I hope this resonates . If this episode helped at all , be sure to like , follow and share it with someone who needs to hear this as well . I truly appreciate everyone for listening . Thank you so so much . Until next time , keep moving forward , trust yourself and never forget you have what it takes to block out the noise .