If only you knew how many anxious teens have changed my life as a therapist , you would never question if you were a burden again . They are some of the most compassionate , brilliant , caring people I have ever met . But the world might not see it because anxiety locks it away . These are 21 life lessons that anxious teens should carry with them not to change who they are , but to become who they've always been and what the world really needs more than ever . Hi and welcome back to Block Out the Noise , the go-to podcast for teens and young adults who are ready to quiet anxiety , self-doubt and overthinking . I'm your host , jessica Davis , a licensed therapist , mindset coach and the creator of the Courage Method , a signature framework designed to help you take control over your thoughts , trust yourself and build confidence in the face of fear . Before we dive in , this podcast is here to support and guide you , but it is not a replacement for talking to someone in real life . If you're struggling with your mental health , please reach out to a therapist , and if you're in crisis , contact emergency services or a local helpline . You don't have to go through it alone . All right , let's cut through the noise and get started .
One anxiety lies . Don't believe everything you think I know your anxiety and the intrusive thoughts and the negative thoughts can feel as if they are real , as if it was true statement made from anyone , and it's easy to believe . It's easy to get caught up in it and feel as if gosh , if it's this strong , if the feeling is this powerful that it has to be true . But that's what anxiety does . It feeds off of your fears and makes it feel as if it's so 100% accurate that there's no other option , that that has to be true . But it's lies . I personally feel that sometimes anxiety is a way of our brains trying to help us . It just doesn't know how your brain thinks that it's preparing you . It thinks that if it goes through all these worst case scenarios , that somehow you'll feel more capable , more able to handle whatever comes your way . But the reality is right . Oftentimes it goes so far off that you feel so overwhelmed , you're stuck , you feel as if you can't move , you can't breathe , you can't think . This is when fighting back is crucial . It's when you start to tell yourself no , this is lies . This is when you say I don't need you to protect me . In this way I can handle it . And the more you start to fight back those anxious thoughts , fight back those lies . Your brain starts to realize oh , you do got it and I don't need to go into this overdrive to protect
you . Two start scared . You still grow .
Jessica DavisSometimes we're waiting for ourselves to feel this comfort , this confidence to actually start something . But if we wait for that moment , that time , we might be waiting a lifetime . Start scared . Start when the fear is there . There will be moments in life where you will be so scared that you feel like you're going to throw up or you feel as if you're not going to make it through . But those are the moments , in all honesty , when people look back on their life , they feel like those were defining moments . Those are the times when they felt as if life started to make sense or they unlocked a piece of themselves that they didn't even know was possible the confidence , the comfort , the ability to know I got through a really difficult situation that I didn't even think I could do . I'm challenging you to take that fear , harness it and do it anyway . Do it . Do it scared . The fear doesn't disappear by thinking , but it does soften with doing In life . I do believe that without discomfort you can't find what you want . You have to go through the pain , the grit , the difficulty to know in yourself that you can do it . We will have to feel the fear , push through it anyway to get to the other side , to get through to growing , to learning , to pushing ourselves outside of our comfort zone , to finding our voice , to harnessing our power . All of these incredible things happen when we feel the fear and we do it anyway
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Jessica DavisThree trying is winning . One of my favorites Redefine your definition of success . It is not the result , it is the effort , it is not the destination , it is the journey . And I think a lot of people struggle with this because we think that well , even if I tried and I didn't do well , then it doesn't matter . But no , it does . When you try something and you do it , that just builds up yourself , it builds up character , it builds up trust within who you are and your belief in yourself . So when you start to realize that actually , success isn't about the result , it isn't about the money , it isn't about the job , it's about how I , you , how you got there , that's the key right , because no one else can go through your journey , no one else gets that opportunity , no one else knows your struggle . So when you struggle and you count every action as trying and you count that as winning , that will exponentially lead you to success .
Jessica DavisBecause the difference is when you try and you know you're trying and that's a win , you're able to handle adversity so much differently . You're able to handle adversity in a way that maybe others aren't , because you have this belief that , no matter what , I'm coming out ahead , no matter what I'm winning , and that's a beautiful thing . We only fail if we stop trying . So keep trying , try today , try tomorrow , and if today didn't work , there's tomorrow , and if tomorrow doesn't happen , the next day . Just keep pushing yourself to try . You have to start somewhere . Somewhere is day one . When is it going to be day one for you ?
Jessica DavisMany anxious teens don't try because they're afraid that it won't be perfect enough . They feel like it has to be either nothing or everything . And that leads to a mindset trap , because then you're literally stuck . You're not able to put yourself out there , you're not able to try new things . You're not able to stumble , because stumbling is , for whatever reason , looked at as a negative . I stumble all the time , in fact . Funny story I stumbled down the steps in front of the men's volleyball team in college . We all stumble , we all fall in our own ways , and it's how you handle that fall . Did I get back up ? Yes , did it take me a minute ? Absolutely , but I'm here , stumbling still , but pushing through .
Four .
Jessica DavisControl is a distraction from peace . It feels as if we have control over things . Then somehow we will be more prepared Again , a protective mechanism . But the harder you grip life , the more fragile it feels . The more you try to hold on to things and take control over stuff , the more it feels as if your world is confined to a small space . In fact , it feels as if you're caged . I had a client who shared this incredible metaphor . I think it's a metaphor I don't know I really need to take an English class but she said that the anxiety was so bad it felt as if they had made a prison of their own doing . And it is so true , because sometimes we think that if we have control , that we're protecting and we're saving ourselves , but there's no peace in that . We're caged and the sad part is we put ourselves in that cage . We have the power to set ourselves free the things that we are unable to prevent . We have to find a way of letting go , because once we let go , we actually find peace , we actually find clarity , we actually are able to enjoy life more .
Five balance is the real flex . Yeah , it didn't sound good even as I said it . Balance is really important . That's more my generation . Yeah , basically , though , right balance is key , and so often we get into these extremes , and teens love to do the most on a lot of different things , and so the goal is to learn how to find balance , because spending every single waking moment with your boyfriend or girlfriend or partner , whoever , whomever that doesn't lead to you feeling better about yourself .
Jessica DavisIt often makes you feel like you're incapable . When you're spending all this time with someone , you start to feel as if you can't do anything without them . An extreme or going to the gym all the time trying to buff up and get strong , and you're doing it so much that you're literally killing your body in order to chase some type of view of what appearance or what look you're trying to have to please usually not even yourself , but to please others . Extreme or not eating , and I wasn't sure I wanted to go there , but there's so many teens with eating issues and eating problems that it really does need to be addressed with eating issues and eating problems that it really does need to be addressed . Not eating is not healthy and is an extreme way of hurting your body .
Jessica DavisLong term and I think any adult will tell you the goal in life , besides pursuing your dreams , is living as long as you can . I mean , the longer you are here on Earth , the more opportunities you have to do things , to change people , to pursue your passions , to have hobbies , to fall in love , to just do whatever it is that you want to do . But if you're a teen and you're killing your body by not eating and chasing after some idea or concept of what beauty is , you're hurting yourself in the long run . Take steps to be healthy , yes , but real healthiness is finding balance .
Jessica DavisTeach yourself to listen to your body , and that's the hard part with anxiety is that sometimes you feel as if your messages that your body is sending are wrong and so you don't listen to them , and it makes it hard to know what is right for you and what isn't right for you . But the more you stay in tune with yourself , the better you get at listening to what your body is telling yourself . The stomach aches , the pains , the intrusive thoughts . It's all there , it's all designed to try and send you a message . Regardless of the brain's intention , it's trying to tell ourselves hey , I'm not feeling good , listen to this . Or hey , you know , I'm really worried about this situation and so I'm trying to work it out . But I don't have the answers and you're not finding the answers , so help me to find them . They're just signals that your body and brain are trying to send you so that you can take action .
Jessica DavisBut usually what happens when we have anxiety is we do inaction , we pause , we freeze , we don't do anything , and then that becomes a pattern and habit that our brains feel like okay , this is the norm , this is how we're supposed to respond in these kinds of situations . But balance truly is key , because once you unlock that balance , you start to recognize like , oh , you know , when I'm feeling this way , it's my body's way of saying , hey , you haven't eaten in a while and you need to eat . Or hey , you know what ? You're feeling this way because you really like this person and you're afraid of messing up . Okay , I can handle that , I can take a deep breath and keep moving forward .
Jessica DavisSix , you're not lazy , You're
overwhelmed . And we've all been there . I think oftentimes we get overwhelmed and we have no clue what to do and so we freeze . I know it's a common theme in this message , but we do . We're mentally exhausted , we have this fear of failure and we have overanalyzed things so much that we're not doing anything . I've heard so many teens say this , that they're lazy , and it's like , no , that's not even an accurate picture . You're not lazy , you are overwhelmed . And so when that feeling happens , when you feel overwhelmed , you have to start to break things down .
Jessica DavisI have been guilty of being overwhelmed . I love a good project , I love a massive project and honestly , I love multiple massive projects all going at the same time , which really isn't good . But I love projects and so I know when I'm feeling overwhelmed I start to just say I need a break and I don't do anything except watch my TV shows , love Ginny and Georgia and I can't wait for the summer I turned pretty last season and Stranger Things and Outer Banks , and I love Law Order . I pretty much will watch anything . A good cooking show , it doesn't matter , I will get lost in TV . But the point is I know when I'm excessively watching TV . That's my body's way of saying you are overwhelmed and I need to just sit down , write down my list a good brain dump .
Jessica DavisTake everything that's in my brain , put it onto paper and then slowly start to break it out into small , actionable steps . So , for instance , if your room is a wreck which most teens their room is horrid and it could feel like such a major , massive undertaking start small . You know what All I'm going to do today is pick up all the clothes off the floor or decide to take all the food , like the utensils and the plates or the 25 water bottles that you have laying around . Actually , I take that back with the water bottles because you teens love your Stanleys . You love a good water bottle that is reusable . Hats off for you to being that generation that is actively taking steps to recycle , reduce and reuse . But pick up the stuff . Just start with one action , one item , and focus in on that . If it's clothes , if it's food , if it's papers , just pick one thing and you'll find that it's much easier to do that task and then you'll get that momentum that you need to go to the next and the next and the next .
Jessica DavisOkay , so this ended up being longer than I expected , but honestly , that just shows how important
this is . I don't want to rush through these . I want you to actually take them in , so I'm going to break this up into parts , because this isn't about dumping all 21 lessons at you all at once . It's about giving you space to reflect , to take what you need and to feel less alone in the process . Your courageous moment for today pick one of the six lessons .
Jessica DavisWe went over Just one . Try it , not to prove anything , not to impress anyone . Do it for you , because that's where real change starts . And if this episode gave you anything hope , clarity , a feeling that you're not the only one , send it to someone who might need that reminder too . Let's keep this message moving . Also , don't forget to download the Anxiety Survival Toolkit . It's free and it's packed with the exact kind of tools that help you in those moments when anxiety feels too loud to handle alone . You'll find the link in the show notes . Thank you so much for listening . Until next time , keep moving forward , trust yourself and never forget you have what it takes to block out the noise .