Ever walked into a classroom and felt your brain go blank just because of the teacher ? Maybe it's the one who seems impossible to please , or the one who never smiles and makes you second guess everything you say . Or maybe you worry you'll get singled out or that you'll let someone down If just hearing ask your teacher makes your heart race . This episode is for you , hi and welcome . To Block Out the Noise a space for teens and young adults who are ready to quiet the noise of anxiety , self-doubt and overthinking and start building a life filled with confidence , courage and purpose . I'm Jessica Davis , a licensed therapist , mindset coach and the creator of the Courage Method . I specialize in helping teens and young adults with anxiety , overthinking and low self-esteem . Remember , this podcast is here to support and guide you , but it is not a replacement for talking to someone in real life . If you're struggling with your mental health , please reach out to a therapist , and if you're in crisis , contact emergency services or a local helpline . You don't have to go through it alone . Also , before we dive in , let me tell you about the Anxiety Survival Toolkit . If your mind feels stuck on the loops of what if ? Judgment or overwhelm , this toolkit gives you clear , practical strategies to slow that spiral , act with confidence and feel more like yourself again . Find the link in the show notes to download your free copy . All right , let's cut through the noise and get started .
I found the most powerful tool in navigating teacher dynamics is simple but far from easy Courage . I'll never forget my first semester of college . I would have morning workouts for basketball . That left me completely exhausted for my 8 am class . I started falling asleep in class , thinking I could just rely on reading the book and jotting down notes . Later , but reality hit . When I got my first test back and it was an F that became my wake-up call , I realized that I had two choices try to figure it out on my own or muster up the courage to talk to my professor . I was scared . I was thinking why would he even help me after I have been disrespectful in his class by sleeping ? But I knew that I couldn't fix this problem on my own . So I explained why I had been sleeping in his class . I admitted that I needed help and I explained that I couldn't afford to fail any of my classes the first semester and I asked him was it even possible to pass ? To my surprise , he was open , supportive and clear about what I need to do differently . I made the changes . He said , of course , listen , listen when he teaches , take notes . And I moved . I moved from the back of the class to the front , I took notes . I read the book before classes so I had an idea of what he was talking about beforehand and I ended up passing the class with an A . He said that basically it would come down to the final , and it did . And I studied and studied , and studied so that I could get where I wanted , which was an A minus .
I've seen the same thing play out with students . I've worked with Some who have found the courage to reach out and turn things around , others who stayed silent and the struggle only grew . Neither path makes you a failure . It just means you learn at your own pace . Time you do , you've literally dug yourself so deep in a hole it's hard to get you out .
Jessica DavisAnd she wasn't wrong . That was one of my patterns . I felt like if I had an issue , I had to figure it out on my own , to show my independence , to show my responsibility , show my autonomy . And yet it wasn't until being a young adult that I realized help is needed and everyone needs help , and actually , if I just ask for help early on , then I'm really saving myself a lot of pain , a lot of struggle and a lot of heartache . So if you're listening right now , hear this . Don't do what I did . Don't wait until the hole feels too deep . Learn now how to ask for help , even if your voice shakes , even if you feel uncomfortable , even if you start small . Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness . It's a sign of strength . The difference comes when you have simple tools to lean on , steps that make courage feel just a little bit easier . So let's get into some that can help you right away .
Tool number one write the invisible letter . Sometimes the hardest part isn't the conversation itself , it's figuring out how to even start it . That's where writing an invisible letter comes in . Here's what it looks like . You grab a notebook . Here's what it looks like . Open up your notes app whatever works best for you and write down what you wish your teacher knew about you . It doesn't need to be long or polished . It could sound like I care a lot about this class , but I get nervous raising my hand , or I know it looks like I'm checked out , but I'm really trying , or even sometimes I need extra time to process before I answer in . Sometimes I need extra time to process before I answer .
Jessica DavisRegardless , if you share it , the act of writing helps calm your thoughts and organize your feelings . You move from a swirl of I'll mess it up to clear , honest words that reflect who you are . If you do feel ready to share a piece of it , you might take one line I'll get nervous talking , but I really want to understand and use that as a simple way to start the conversation . Why does this even work , I'm sure you're wondering . Well , educators sometimes use something called dialogue journals . It's where writing becomes a bridge for trust . It removes the pressure of saying the perfect thing , and it gives you a safe space to express yourself . Here's the real gift in it , though . Even if you don't share the letter , it becomes practice and naming your truth , and every time you name it , the weight of anxiety starts to shrink .
Tool number two connect outside the classroom . Sometimes , the scariest part about talking to a teacher is that it feels like you're standing in front of a judge Right the desk , the gradebook , the authority . It makes your anxiety skyrocket , but teachers are people , and the more you remind yourself of that the less intimidating they feel . Think of starting small , low stake conversations that have nothing to do with academics . This might look like cool shoes where'd you get them ? Or did you watch the game last night ? Or hope you had a good weekend . It might feel silly , but here's why it works . When your brain sees a teacher laugh or smile about a compliment , it rewires how you view them . They stop being intimidating and start being a human being who drinks coffee too early and forgets where they parked their car , just like the rest of us . And here's the payoff Once you've made that casual connection , it makes the academic conversations easier .
Jessica DavisYou're no longer approaching the scary authority person . You're talking to someone you've already had a moment to connect with . There's not a single teacher or professor walking this earth who hasn't had difficulties difficulties in the job , pressure from above on how well their students do . So if you can take a leap and say , hey , I know I've been struggling and I really do want to improve , what teacher or professor wouldn't want you to ? It just wouldn't even make any sense . And if they don't , then that's more on them than you . So here's your reminder you don't need a huge brave speech . Start with one small human conversation . That's the bridge that makes the harder conversations feel possible . And if you're afraid to do this in person which I think in person is more ideal on this type of situation , bring a buddy , bring a friend with you , or ask your friend to start the conversation and ask the questions , and then maybe you can jump in and start to join in , find whatever works for you to push yourself to take this step .
Jessica DavisIf you're looking for practical tools to manage anxiety throughout the day , not just when talking to a teacher , download the Anxiety Survival Toolkit . It is free and is packed with scripts , breathing exercises and audio messages that can help you calm your thoughts and feel more in control
. You can find the link in the show notes Tool number three you and the courage method Understand that fear isn't fact . One of the most powerful lessons from the courage method is fear isn't the same as fact . Anxiety loves to tell you stories that feel real in the moment , like if I ask this question , they'll think I'm stupid .
Jessica DavisBut pause and check Is that a fear or is that a fact ? And here's how you can break it down Catch the thought , write it out or say it out loud . Example if I ask for help , I'll sound dumb . Challenge it with the truth . Good teachers want students to learn . Asking shows I'm trying Step three , reframe it . I'm not stupid for asking , I'm actually showing I care .
Jessica DavisAnd if you want to push this even further , use AI as a practice buddy . Yep , tap it into ChatGPT or another AI tool and tell it to pretend you're my teacher . Give me the worst possible response . If I ask for help , then flip it and ask now . Give me the best possible response . When you see both extremes side by side , your brain realizes something powerful . Even the worst case scenario is survivable , and the best case scenario is actually way more realistic and helpful to you . So the next time fear tells you a story , remember it's not fact , it's just noise and you get to rewrite it
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Jessica DavisTool number four active listening in return . Reaching out to a teacher takes courage , but what happens after you speak to your teacher is just as important . That's where active listening comes in . Here's the mistake many of us make . We're so busy planning out our next sentence of how do I explain this better ? Or what if they don't get it , that they don't actually hear what the teacher is saying . When we miss their words , we miss their reassurance , the guidance and the support that they're giving . So how do you practice active listening ? Try this . Number one make eye contact or at least look up . This shows presence and it shows that you're listening . Number two pause after they finish speaking . Count one breath before you respond . It reminds your brain that you don't have to rush into what you're saying . And number three reflect one phrase back , something like so you're saying let's just start the assignment earlier . This signals you were truly listening and the teachers lean in when they feel heard . But also a great part of step number three is that if you misunderstood , the teacher can correct you in the moment and say no , actually , what I want you to do is start with this assignment , and the goal would be then now you can deliver on what they said . So why does this even matter ?
Jessica DavisWhen teachers sense you're not just checking the box which I do feel like nowadays , people can reach out with the sole intention of fix the problem . I don't really want to do the work , but I want it fixed . Teachers can tell that . But when you're actually engaged , they're invested more in helping you . They can explain more clearly , they can offer encouragement , trust is built and the cycles of misunderstanding start to break and oftentimes there are misunderstandings on both ends and you get to correct that . When I went to my professor and told him that I was struggling with the early morning workouts and coming to class , he was able to understand that I wasn't a kid coming to his class , not caring and just trying to sleep through , coming to his class not caring and just trying to sleep through . But he also got to find out through my actions after that that I was really making a considerable effort to put in the work and I think that makes a big difference . If you're on the cusp of a D and a C , a teacher is more likely to lend toward the C if they see that you've been putting in the work , if you've been trying , if you've been reaching out . But if you're the kid who , right before grades are due , you're now reaching out , then that doesn't send a signal to the teacher that you cared . It's just showing that , okay , now I care because I don't want to get a D as my final grade and maybe that teacher's perception of you might be inaccurate , but it's not going to be fixed the day before grades are due
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Jessica DavisActive listening is about being present , and presence is what transforms conversation from stressful to supportive . Each tool here shifts you from feeling stuck to growing in confidence . Courage doesn't have to be loud . When you give yourself grace and take just one small step forward , you make room for your courage to grow stronger , for your courageous moment . This week , just choose one small act of courage .
Maybe it's writing that invisible letter , or starting a conversation with your teacher about something non-academic , or even just catching yourself when a fear thought shows up and saying that's fear , not fact . It doesn't matter which one you pick . What matters is that you try , because every time you show up with even a little bit of courage , you prove to yourself that you are stronger than the noise and that one step . That's where the real change begins . Feeling anxious with teachers doesn't mean you're failing . It just really means you're human and underneath that fear there is a part of you that deeply wants to grow . So when that anxious voice tries to take over , remind yourself it doesn't write your story . Your courage does . Thank you so much for listening
. Until next time , keep moving forward , trust yourself and never forget you have what it takes to block out the noise .